Jump to content

Whinge/vent/sob story/kick up bum/ advice/help needed


  • Please log in to reply
13 replies to this topic

#1 citylife

Posted 19 January 2013 - 04:29 PM

Hello
I have thought long and hard about posting this here and well here I am.
I have been reading through many threads and poststrying to get tips/info from them
I have got to the stage where I am at a loss and feel so unhappy and down and wanted to get it out of my system and write it down.
I am happy for people to give advice/support/give me a good kick/ be staright with me, be honest etc etc as that is what I need to read and hear.

I want to lose 10 kg
It may not sound a lot to some but for me it seems to be a big ongoing battle and struggle
I try and get in the right mindset and lose for a few weeks and then slump and fall off the wagon.
I have tried WW many many years ago like 15 years ago and had great success with that as I lost 15 kg
At that time I was not married, had no kids, and was working full time, now I am married have kids and don't work so something like WW is not doable as many factors to consider main one being $$$

I have tried Bodytrim and did well with the 3 day protein phase and then the next phase but soon got bored of it and did at times have trouble in finding new ways to spice up food

I have cut out pasta and I don't eat a whole lot of bread
I don't really eat breakfast in the morning as I cannot stomach it
I know I should eat it as it is the main meal of the day but I just can't do it then get busy with school runs etc and don't have breakfast
some days I don't feel like eating lunch or dinner
my family will sit down to dinner I cooked and I sit with them and wont eat as I don;t feel like eating

I haven't done a bowel movement in 3 days and feel bloated and my stomach is sticking out
then of course I look in the mirror and don't like what I see as what I see is an ugly fat person
I get so jealous of those Mum's who have had kids and look like sticks or very fit and lean and often wonder how they do  that have they been blessed with good genetics
I don't like when the odd rude person over the years has asked oh you expecting rude stupid person
I have fibroids and when I wasn't pregnant I looked like I was as I had one the size of a 5 month pregnancy
I had PCOS picked up during pregnancy
I don't like exercise at the best of times
I used to enjoy Zumba and go to regular weekly classes but now can't justify the cost of weekly classes
I have no motivation actually I do have the motivation in me I just can't find it and get it out and keep it out
I am turning 40 and this is meant to be 40 and fit and fabulous
I am afraid it will be 40 and fat and frumpy
I get so down and depressed and go through stages and think it will never happen my tummy will never go away I then cry and feel sorry for myself.
I don't know what to eat well actually I do but I find it hard to work it all out
I know to have protein and vegies/salad for dinner but don't
I don't eat enough fruit
What do you do when trying to be good and you are invited to someones house and they serve you something fatty or cream based or a big slice of cheesecake it seems rude to say no thanks as I have done so once and got looked down upon

So what can I do???
Where and how do I start???
See I don't even know myself


Any websites/links you can recommend for healthy eating plans
What to do????

#2 EsmeLennox

Posted 19 January 2013 - 04:36 PM

You really need to start eating is my advice. Skipping meals is not good for you. If you are skipping meals are you snacking at other times?

What do you honestly eat over the course of the day?

I would start by forcing myself to eat breakfast, even a slice of toast is a start, and small meals at other times if you don't feel like eating. I know you say you don't eat bread, but a small amount of bread each day is o evil, especially if you choose whole grain.

Although you hate exercise, getting your body moving will help with the BM issues, as will dramatically increasing the water you drink, along with regular meals.

Losing weight works best when you eat sensibly, this includes eating regularly!And a really big part of it is willpower.

I lost 13kg 12 months ago and have thus far kept it off, I do gain weight easily, but I find if I eat sensibly, watch portion size and exercise it stays off, and I feel so much better for it. I did not use WW a gym or spend any money at all on any program. I just stopped eating crap, starting eating sensibly, cut down on booze and started exercising. You can do it!

Good luck.

Edited by Jemstar, 19 January 2013 - 04:39 PM.


#3 k10

Posted 19 January 2013 - 05:00 PM

Hi OP original.gif  I'm your age and I have  a similar amount of weight to loose and also had great success at weight watchers years ago before kids.  I did ww online last year and had good results but couldn't justify the cost when their android app kept crashing.  I now track on myfitnesspal.com ... it's free.

I was never a breakfast person years ago but now I can't survive without it.  As PP said you do need to start eating something for brekkie ... fruit, anything - it will kick start your metabolism for the day and you will feel hungry again in a few hours and then eat regularly.  Remember that not eating enough is just as bad as eating too much as your body goes into 'starvation' mode and hangs on to the weight, your metabolism slows down meaning you gain weight more easily than normal.

Also food in = energy so if you're not eating enough you will have no energy for exercise.

I have the nutrition side under control, for me it is exercise so I have just signed up for a couple of months of personal training - yes its expensive but the results and change in lifestyle habits will be worth it.

What would I do if I were you?  Start writing down what you eat or tracking on myfitnesspal, try to eat something every 3 hours and ease into exercising - walk around the block or the backyard.  Exercising does not need to cost money.  There are heaps of home based things that can improve fitness

The first week will be the hardest, after that you will feel better everyday original.gif  Good luck!

Edited for typo and to add - cutting down carbs is good but you don't need to cut them out completely, just have them at lunch rather than dinner ... my personal trainers tip this week!!

Edited by k10, 19 January 2013 - 05:03 PM.


#4 Manda88

Posted 19 January 2013 - 05:03 PM

I feel for you darl,

I kow all too well how hard it is to get motivated and stay on track when you feel like absolute crap. I don't like exercise either, but I find it easier if I have a friend. So a friend and I go walking together a few times a week, or go for a swim. Nothing too strenuous.

As for diet plans, I had sucess on the cohen's diet (although I didn't pay anything for it, I got the food plan off a friend who was doing it,so just follwed that), and before that the shake diet that Terry White Chemist does (I forget what's it's called).

Lost 30kg in total but it took a very very long time because I had a lot of up's and down's.

It is never rude to turn down cheescake, just disappointing sad.gif . I love food but you need to set boundaries for yourself and stick to them. I allowed myself one dessert every Sunday IF I had lost at least half a kilo.

You just need to find something that work's for you, but most importantly, you need to find your inspiration and motivation. Mine was watching Biggest Loser biggrin.gif

#5 gasgirl

Posted 19 January 2013 - 05:28 PM

it sounds like your underlying problem is your mind working against you
While you go for a daily walk I suggest you listen to a free podcast (on  iTunes) by a guy called Bevan James Eyles, its called "fitness behaviours"
he's a triathlete and a personal trainer so some bits can sound a little OTT but there are some really useful words of wisdom about how the biggest challenge with any goal, be it weight loss or whatever, is our own negative mindset. And even better, how to overcome it.
I have found it really useful.
Also useful are written goals that you can tick off as you achieve them, and also accountability so tell your hubby and friends what you are trying to do. they will be more supportive than you expect.
all the best



#6 Molondy

Posted 19 January 2013 - 05:54 PM

The first thing about exercise is to find something you enjoy. YOu enjoy Zumba - how can you not "justify the cost"? I realise it might be expensive on the face of it but when you compare the cost of 2 classes a week (what $40??) against your misery you might decide you can justify it after all.

Eat breakfast - you know you have to - if eating is a problem - try and small smoothie. ONce you start eating breakfast it will become much easier.

#7 scjoh

Posted 19 January 2013 - 05:58 PM

There is a Zumba teacher on you tube who has put up some of his classes for people to follow at home. I have lost the link because I haven't done it for a while but I am sure you can find it if you do a quick search

#8 Canberra Chick

Posted 20 January 2013 - 08:36 AM

A couple of things stood out for me, and I have been at the 10kg over, feeling fat, unhealthy and telling myself I was too busy looking after everyone else to look after myself.

1. You need to get some energy in at breakfast. If you really think you don't have time to sit and eat a piece of toast, how about a smoothie? You can add in lots of goodies that way too.

2. The fact that you said you couldn't justify the cost of Zumba classes. Yes you can, it's part of keeping you physically and mentally healthy. If you still can't justify it that way, do what I did at the start; tell yourself that you need to be healthy in order to look after everyone else. If you are ill, their lives fall apart.

I wouldn't bother with any fancy high cost weight loss programs. Find an exercise that you like, so join a Zumba class and make the time for it, go on to something like My Fitness Pal and set a sensible target (hint, 1200 cal is usually unreasonable and definitely not sustainable) and make sure you eat breakfast!

I wish you luck, I'm glad you're realising that what's happening now is not good for you and that you deserve more. It is worth it. I'm now 1 kg off my goal and it has been a seesaw over a few years but last winter I finally realised that I couldn't keep dropping to 72, then letting it all slip and doing no exercise and going back up to 78. I have been steadily losing since July, slow but steady as this is now my life, not just a quick weight loss regime. I think that is the change in mindset that is needed, that this is not a short term quick fix.

Good luck.

#9 Chaos in stereo

Posted 20 January 2013 - 08:52 AM

QUOTE (citylife @ 19/01/2013, 05:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I get so jealous of those Mum's who have had kids and look like sticks or very fit and lean and often wonder how they do  that have they been blessed with good genetics
I don't like when the odd rude person over the years has asked oh you expecting rude stupid person
I have fibroids and when I wasn't pregnant I looked like I was as I had one the size of a 5 month pregnancy
I had PCOS picked up during pregnancy
I don't like exercise at the best of times


OP - some people are just idiots! I can't believe they would ask if you were pregnant - I generally wait until someone is about to pop (or just introduce the subject themselves - much safer!)

People come in all shapes and sizes and you are fine the way you are! BUT if you want to lose weight even going for a good brisk walk every day will help. It's free, and you get to check out your neighbourhood, get some time out for yourself to think. I recommend it if you are strapped for cash. Make it a good walk though - one hour if you can and push yourself to a good brisk pace.

Good Luck OP, I really hope you achieve your goals.  biggrin.gif


#10 nori_roll

Posted 20 January 2013 - 09:13 AM

QUOTE (Canberra chick @ 20/01/2013, 06:36 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
A couple of things stood out for me, and I have been at the 10kg over, feeling fat, unhealthy and telling myself I was too busy looking after everyone else to look after myself.

1. You need to get some energy in at breakfast. If you really think you don't have time to sit and eat a piece of toast, how about a smoothie? You can add in lots of goodies that way too.

2. The fact that you said you couldn't justify the cost of Zumba classes. Yes you can, it's part of keeping you physically and mentally healthy. If you still can't justify it that way, do what I did at the start; tell yourself that you need to be healthy in order to look after everyone else. If you are ill, their lives fall apart.

I wouldn't bother with any fancy high cost weight loss programs. Find an exercise that you like, so join a Zumba class and make the time for it, go on to something like My Fitness Pal and set a sensible target (hint, 1200 cal is usually unreasonable and definitely not sustainable) and make sure you eat breakfast!


CC - can you tell me how many calories you aim for - I've just started using my fitness pal and am finding it difficult to stay within the 1200 and then feeling bad about it. I eat pretty clean and very little sugar. I am stuck in the 'lose til im 72 then let it go and drift back up to 78'cycle and im sick of it. Thanks.


#11 farfaraway

Posted 20 January 2013 - 09:19 AM

What about a Zumba DVD? I also hate exercising OP, but find I will do it at home - a few fun dvd's might be an option.

#12 Feral*Spikey*

Posted 20 January 2013 - 10:56 AM

Can I suggest that you have a look at Calorie King instead? Its free, it has a 'nutrition school', also free, it has recipes, it has a chat section - all for free.

It also calculates a proper calorie allowance based on your needs (for free), rather than just guessing 1200 Cal. If 1200 calories is not enough for you, there will be a reason for it, and I'm sure CK will identify it!

Also, pop over to the Lots to Lose Support group, the "lots" part is relative, and I think you'll find it a very supportive group on your journey.

(I'm also not a breakfast eater - I compromise with Celebrity Slim shakes, as that is pretty light and doesn't 'feel' like breakfast)

#13 Canberra Chick

Posted 20 January 2013 - 11:16 AM

QUOTE
CC - can you tell me how many calories you aim for - I've just started using my fitness pal and am finding it difficult to stay within the 1200 and then feeling bad about it. I eat pretty clean and very little sugar. I am stuck in the 'lose til im 72 then let it go and drift back up to 78'cycle and im sick of it. Thanks.


I went for 1500 at the start, and obviously adding on more if I had exercised (My Fitness Pal shows you how much you've burned) and now I'm at 1700 and I think for maintaining I will be at 1700-1800 (coming soon I hope!). I'm 167 cm and was 78kg when I started. I am fairly muscly and while I have a desk job, I do take the stairs and do active play with the kids when at home.

I had been going through cycles of being really 'good' for a couple of months, then getting ill or busy and deciding that I was there so I didn't have to keep eating the way I was and it would slowly creep back up, then I'd start all over again...

Now I can have a week where I don't exercise due to illness/being busy and I tailor my intake accordingly and maintain for the week then go back to trying to lose. It's not so all or nothing and on Saturdays I blow out and it's not a drama, I just get back to it. Having that day where it's OK to drink too much and eat pizza keeps me sane. I also find that I blow out by less nowadays as there's not that thinking of 'oh well, that's me over my total for today, might as well eat my weight in chocolate and be done with it'...

I've become a lot more forgiving of myself - I don't have to lose weight each week. I just have to exercise and try to eat a healthy diet as much as possible.

#14 Chaton

Posted 20 January 2013 - 11:36 AM

I find eating from a bread and butter plate rather than a dinner plate helps me with portion control.

And if its any consolation, I was one of those mums that seemingly lost all the baby weight super fast but while I look great with clothes on, I have so much saggy skin underneath I look like a marsupial when nude.  No amount of exercise or diet seems to help the loose skin.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Clever panda fakes pregnancy

News that a giant panda was pregnant prompted much excitement, but it appears there were never any cubs on the way.

'I survived placenta percreta'

When writing her birth plan, Simone Pavil included an item most women wouldn?t even think about: what should happen if she was put on life support. The mum had the potentially fatal condition placenta accreta.

Managing personal space as a mum

In the midst of the early parenting years, our bodies and minds can seemingly be overtaken by our offspring. How can we balance our need for personal space with the needs of our children?

'If love could have saved you, you'd have never left'

The words "spontaneous abortion" on the hospital paperwork really got to me. My baby died; I didn't spontaneously decide to abort him.

15 classic Aussie ads

Watch some of the classic Australian ads of the 80s, 90s and 00s, and remember the catchphrases and jingles we all used to know so well ...

For and against

Should Blue Ivy have been at the VMAs?

Many were quick to condemn Beyonce and Jay Z after appearing on stage at the MTV Video Music Awards with their two-year-old daughter, but others thought it was a sweet family moment. What do you think?

Toddler attacked at gym creche

Two-year-old girl Eva Ness was left with a black eye and bite marks on her face and body after an altercation with an older child at a health club's child-minding facilities. Now her parents are calling for the centre to be closed.

Pregnancy a tricky matter of timing for FIFO couples

Manipulating rosters, coordinating 'conjugal' visits, working on site with your partner; getting pregnant can prove stressful for FIFO workers.

WIN a $100 RedBalloon for Dad

Enter now for your chance to win 1 of 5 $100 RedBalloon experience vouchers. Helping you make Dad's Day EXTRA HAPPY.

Carseats have twice as many germs as a toilet

Most parents know their child's carseat is not always squeaky clean, but they might not realise just how dirty it really is.

Doctors remove foetus from 'medical marvel' after 36 years

Doctors in India have removed the skeleton of a foetus that had been inside a woman for 36 years.

Nine months in six seconds: new parents' Vine clip a hit

We?ve seen some memorable time-lapse pregnancy and birth announcement videos before. Now one new couple has taken it to the extreme, capturing it all in just a six-second Vine video.

Sonia Kruger speaks of baby joy

Celebrity mum-to-be Sonia Kruger has spoken candidly about using donor eggs and IVF to fall pregnant at age 48.

Dressing to not impress: life through the eyes of a three-year-old

When it comes to getting dressed, my three-year-old has only one criterion: ?I don?t want to look beautiful.? And now I've worked out why.

Special nappies made with love for angel babies

Angel Baby Nappies make and provide tiny bereavement cloth nappies for pre-term stillborn babies and premature babies who pass away in the NICU.

Inside the brain of a tantruming toddler

What's going on in your child's mind in the lead-up to a tantrum? And what?s the best way to respond?

5 secrets to a long-lasting relationship

When it comes to keeping your relationship strong, it?s what you do - and not what you want - that really matters.

When 'furbabies' meet real babies

I am obsessed with my dogs, and can't imagine loving them any less once my baby arrives. But that doesn't stop everyone from telling me I will.

The least popular baby names of 2013

Looking for a baby name that?s nowhere near the top 10 ? or even the top 1000? Try the bottom five.

'I was so sleep deprived I crashed my car'

There are no laws regulating driving while tired, but statistics show that driver fatigue is one of the top three contributors to the road toll.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

WIN a $100 RedBalloon for Dad

Enter now for your chance to win 1 of 5 $100 RedBalloon experience vouchers. Helping you make Dad's Day EXTRA HAPPY.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Do you suffer from Precious Firstborn Syndrome?

Testing ?no more tears? shampoo in your own eyes, warming cucumber sticks so they're not cold straight from the fridge, waking a sleeping baby to check they?re still breathing: these are all symptoms of Precious Firstborn Syndrome.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Video: When adults act like children

Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.

Mums hit hardest as flu cases skyrocket

The number of confirmed cases of influenza in Australia has doubled the number for the same time last year - and women are 25 per cent more likely to get it.

The mum who had four babies in nine months

Feeling exhausted due to the demands of caring for a baby? Imagine the life of this mum, who gave birth to three boys and one girl in just nine months.

Everything baby at Big W

Lowest prices on everything baby, only at Big W. Sale starts August 4 and ends August 20 2014.

Going viral

Outrage over baby's icy challenge

A man has been reported to child protective services after taking the ALS ice bucket challenge with his 10-month-old granddaughter.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.