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Should we have a third child?
Really would like to, but cant really afford to..


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37 replies to this topic

#1 tropics

Posted 19 January 2013 - 02:08 PM

Hi

Is or has their been anyone out there who has a couple of children and would love one (or two) more but with childcare fees as high as they are along with all other expenses I am not sure we should..
Hubby would jump at it in a minute!..we have a 5yr old DD and a 2yr old DS. DD starting school in a week so nice to only be paying out daycare fees for ONE child now..

But I think, there are so many other people out there in worse financial situations than us and they get by..

Maybe I should go with my financial instincts and be thankfull for the two beautiful children we have....?

Rachael

unsure.gif

#2 Mrs Lannister

Posted 19 January 2013 - 02:15 PM

I'm the same but #4. Hubby and I both want to but in the end we just can't afford it. I don't think it's fair that my other children would have to go without because I want another one. Good luck with your decision

#3 axiomae

Posted 19 January 2013 - 02:16 PM

Children to cost money, sigh. We're thinking we may not even be able to afford a second what with child care fees and all... how do people do it?

#4 mini mac

Posted 19 January 2013 - 02:19 PM

I say go for it.  wink.gif

No amount of financial security can replace the magic of your own children, especially if that urge to expand your family is strong. You'd hate to look back and regret not having another. If you want the third badly enough, you'll find a way to make the money to provide for your needs.

Editted to add we will be going for no 3 within a year, despite being on a tight budget and just buying a more expensive house and starting a full reno on it... Some things aren't just about money...

Edited by Mini Mac, 19 January 2013 - 02:22 PM.


#5 imamumto3

Posted 19 January 2013 - 02:22 PM

QUOTE (Mini Mac @ 19/01/2013, 03:19 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I say go for it.  wink.gif

No amount of financial security can replace the magic of your own children, especially if that urge to expand your family is strong. You'd hate to look back and regret not having another. If you want the third badly enough, you'll find a way to make the money to provide for your needs.

this.

#6 epl0822

Posted 19 January 2013 - 02:23 PM

I guess there will always be people in worse/better situations than you, but my personal take is I want to have the time and means to enjoy my family's company. It is not fun being on a tight budget and stressing about money!

#7 Roxi

Posted 19 January 2013 - 02:23 PM

It depends on what you mean by afford - are you currently living frugally or do you take annual holidays, are paying off expensive cars, etc? Can you cut back on extravagances to afford the baby?

If you are already really struggling just to survive, maybe you can leave it for a year or two until your finances improve a bit (any possibilities of increased pay?), or maybe stagger it so that by the time baby #3 would need to be in child care, child #2 is starting school.

If you really, REALLY want a third child, I think you should go for it if you can make it work. Otherwise, it sounds like you will really regret it.

#8 happyapple

Posted 19 January 2013 - 03:14 PM

We are having a third right now. It took a bit of convincing my DH but we are so rapt about another baby arriving and the thought of another child filling our lives is just so wonderful im afraid finances aren't even an issue.

There are plenty of reasons NOT to have a third if you really want to look for them - is your car/house really big enough? Added cost of course, and I'm wondering if my body is going to cope as well as it did previously...

I just wasn't ready to hang up my hat after number 2, and I don't ever want the regret of looking back and not doing it when we still could - like so many people i know.

I don't think I could afford 6 kids, but 3 is do-able.

Good luck!

#9 tropics

Posted 19 January 2013 - 03:20 PM

Thanks for all the replies ladies..we will have to consider carefully...we both work full time, and my pay is taken all for the mortgage so all other bills, car payments, personal loans, food etc is to come out of DH pay. I know we could make it work, and we certainly dont take annual holidays, that's one sacrifice / luxury we dont and wont be able to do for a while!

With my first two children I was working in a Gov job too which of course made the maternity leave much easier..now Im back working in a cafe as I to a separation package from my Gov job in 2011 (which was a bad decision - not at the time though) but should have stayed in that job!

so would have even less maternity leave time as well..

thinking....

rolleyes.gif

#10 Duck-o-lah

Posted 19 January 2013 - 04:48 PM

It's a hard choice.

We decided to TTC2 before we hit a financial sh*tstorm. However after a year of trying I was not prepared to give up. The budget is definitely a concern that is in the back of our mind and unfortunately I will have to go back to work much sooner than I would like.

I've had to work ALOT of magic to stretch our budget to accomodate our needs, but we will get by (touching wood). No fun holidays or nice clothes or nights out, but it won't be forever.

I would not consider a third as it would go beyond the point of making lifestyle sacrifices and mean we would be asking where our net mortgage payment was coming from and how we would put food on the table.

#11 Natttmumm

Posted 19 January 2013 - 06:06 PM

We use family daycare and get the rebate that everyone gets. It's really not that expensive - definitely not one of our biggest expenses. Finances did come into the equation whether to have a third (due in a few weeks) but daycare fees which end up 30 per day didn't really bother us.
You don't need to use an expensive centre especially for children under preschool age.
All that being said our mortgage is low and we can afford a 3 rd with me working part time. I guess I might have thought differently if I had to work full time with three kids.



#12 ubermum

Posted 19 January 2013 - 06:12 PM

We did, but got rid of bad debt first. We don't have any personal loans, we now drive 10yo cars that we own and we only have debit cards and save for any large purchases we want. The baby bonus goes straight into a savings account untouched.

#13 samshine

Posted 19 January 2013 - 08:45 PM

We had a third last year, and it has placed a bit of pressure financially.

She hasn't cost us much yet, but it's certainly diminished my earnings and that's hit the family budget more than we expected.  Child care costs really do play a factor.  WE had a fortnight over christmas with very little child care days (our centre doesn't charge when it's shut) and our budget was so much more comfortable.  

Having said that, we are still so glad we did it!  She's worth it, and once I'm back at work at my previous level, hopefully things will be easier.

#14 PinkSurvivor

Posted 19 January 2013 - 10:40 PM

We've got 3 five years and under. We are living modestly on one wage until we only have one in care and we can afford for me to go back to work!

We are planning on one more. TTC in 14 months original.gif

#15 antigone_

Posted 19 January 2013 - 10:50 PM

After many years of going back and forth, squabbling over it, being resolved not to have another, then going back on that, we'll finally be having our third in about 8 weeks.

It feels amazing to shut the door on it after so long having the issue dominate my thoughts. Finances weren't an issue though, and I can understand that it's a big consideration for many.

#16 MuppetGirl

Posted 19 January 2013 - 11:16 PM

You can only do what you and your husband decide is right for your family.

Personally, for my family, we decided on having a third and we are on a single wage as I had not returned to work yet as I am doing uni part time.

Sure it is a bit of a struggle at the moment financially but in a few years, when I am working and there are no daycare fees, we will be much better off and until then our holidays are camping trips which the kids absolutely adore and I think are a great experience for them. Being able to give your children happy memories and good experiences does not mean you need a lot of money to do it.

I am a firm believer in the saying "you don't regret the kids you have, just the ones you don't have".

From what you have described about your financial situation if you really want a third then I would not let money be the only thing standing in your way.

#17 antigone_

Posted 19 January 2013 - 11:18 PM

QUOTE (Mo2k @ 20/01/2013, 12:07 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would and am trying now! I look on it that whatever financial difficulties we face now they won't be forever. I'm more scared by the prospect that we won't be able to have another than I am about money.


And this can be a very valid concern - it came as a shock to both DH and I that it would take nearly a year of TTC to conceive a viable third baby. Both our existing children were conceived first go - never in a million years imagined I'd be having a baby at 38.


#18 podg

Posted 19 January 2013 - 11:23 PM

Two's a good number. I have four, and I love doing anything with any two of them.

#19 ~shannon~

Posted 19 January 2013 - 11:47 PM


QUOTE (MahnaMahna @ 19/01/2013, 11:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Sure it is a bit of a struggle at the moment financially but in a few years, when I am working and there are no daycare fees, we will be much better off and until then our holidays are camping trips which the kids absolutely adore and I think are a great experience for them.

I am a firm believer in the saying "you don't regret the kids you have, just the ones you don't have".

From what you have described about your financial situation if you really want a third then I would not let money be the only thing standing in your way.


These are my sentiments too. We are on one income and will be for some time, but the sacrifices are worth it... The desire for DH and I to have another baby was just too strong to ignore.
As another PP has said, we got rid of all our debts, except for the mortgage. We have no other loans, two cars paid off, no credit card debt, etc. I am also not an impulse shopper... I like to look around first for the best price, so I can keep to our budget without missing out on every little luxury. And we also love camping holidays. The last holiday we had was a week camping at a national park, and it cost us $63!

We are now so excited about our new baby arriving soon. The biggest surprise to me was how my family reacted.... No shouts of "congratulations" instead they shook their heads like it was a bad idea! They have warmed to it now, but I was disappointed in their initial reaction, despite the fact that we had told my parents we were trying for number three.

#20 lynneyours

Posted 20 January 2013 - 12:01 AM

QUOTE (~shannon~ @ 20/01/2013, 12:47 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
we also love camping holidays. The last holiday we had was a week camping at a national park, and it cost us $63!

  
Details please - either here or PM would be fantastic!  original.gif

#21 ~shannon~

Posted 20 January 2013 - 01:03 AM

Carnarvon Gorge NP, central Qld. The camp sites nearest the creek and walking trails are open only during school holidays and booked up months in advance, but well worth it! There are toilets and coin-operated showers, and LOTS of wildlife (wallabies, platypus, sugar gliders). The rangers also have activities for kids and interesting slide shows at night. There is also a caravan park a short drive away but costs a lot more (ETA this is open all year round).

Edited by ~shannon~, 20 January 2013 - 01:12 AM.


#22 MrsLexiK

Posted 20 January 2013 - 08:01 AM

Personally we wouldn't. This is one of the reasons we will likely only have 1 for.

#23 hanz33

Posted 20 January 2013 - 12:54 PM

Depends what is most important to you. I doubt you would regret the decision if you had one.

#24 Jaffacakes

Posted 20 January 2013 - 01:35 PM

We always knew we wanted two children, but were undecided on the third.

I was more keen than DH, but financial issues were a big concern for us both: my DS will be at school 2.5 days per week next year (2014)) so I could have potentially started back at work PT then, plus our house is tiny, holidays will be more expensive etc.

However I used to get really jealous whenever I heard of someone expecting a baby and knew that I wasn't quite "done" yet.

In the end we just decided that our desire for child #3 outweighed all of the other things we wanted (house, holidays etc.) and really things were only going to be pushed back by a year or so (until #3 starts school). I'm a firm believer that you cut your cloth accordingly and live within your means.

We are now very excitedly awaiting the arrival of #3.

Good luck with your decision original.gif

#25 José

Posted 20 January 2013 - 11:40 PM

One thing that plays on my mind is what if any subsequent children had additional needs.  could I afford the OT speech therapy etc they may need. I know people in this situation and for some the public system just doesnt offet enough and the waiting lists can be phenomenal.  For me if mobey wss so tight I would be ubsble to afford therapies if needed I would chiosr not to have another chikd.




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