Jump to content

Should we have a third child?
Really would like to, but cant really afford to..


  • Please log in to reply
37 replies to this topic

#1 tropics

Posted 19 January 2013 - 02:08 PM

Hi

Is or has their been anyone out there who has a couple of children and would love one (or two) more but with childcare fees as high as they are along with all other expenses I am not sure we should..
Hubby would jump at it in a minute!..we have a 5yr old DD and a 2yr old DS. DD starting school in a week so nice to only be paying out daycare fees for ONE child now..

But I think, there are so many other people out there in worse financial situations than us and they get by..

Maybe I should go with my financial instincts and be thankfull for the two beautiful children we have....?

Rachael

unsure.gif

#2 Bomber girl

Posted 19 January 2013 - 02:15 PM

I'm the same but #4. Hubby and I both want to but in the end we just can't afford it. I don't think it's fair that my other children would have to go without because I want another one. Good luck with your decision

#3 axiomae

Posted 19 January 2013 - 02:16 PM

Children to cost money, sigh. We're thinking we may not even be able to afford a second what with child care fees and all... how do people do it?

#4 mini mac

Posted 19 January 2013 - 02:19 PM

I say go for it.  wink.gif

No amount of financial security can replace the magic of your own children, especially if that urge to expand your family is strong. You'd hate to look back and regret not having another. If you want the third badly enough, you'll find a way to make the money to provide for your needs.

Editted to add we will be going for no 3 within a year, despite being on a tight budget and just buying a more expensive house and starting a full reno on it... Some things aren't just about money...

Edited by Mini Mac, 19 January 2013 - 02:22 PM.


#5 imamumto3

Posted 19 January 2013 - 02:22 PM

QUOTE (Mini Mac @ 19/01/2013, 03:19 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I say go for it.  wink.gif

No amount of financial security can replace the magic of your own children, especially if that urge to expand your family is strong. You'd hate to look back and regret not having another. If you want the third badly enough, you'll find a way to make the money to provide for your needs.

this.

#6 epl0822

Posted 19 January 2013 - 02:23 PM

I guess there will always be people in worse/better situations than you, but my personal take is I want to have the time and means to enjoy my family's company. It is not fun being on a tight budget and stressing about money!

#7 Roxi

Posted 19 January 2013 - 02:23 PM

It depends on what you mean by afford - are you currently living frugally or do you take annual holidays, are paying off expensive cars, etc? Can you cut back on extravagances to afford the baby?

If you are already really struggling just to survive, maybe you can leave it for a year or two until your finances improve a bit (any possibilities of increased pay?), or maybe stagger it so that by the time baby #3 would need to be in child care, child #2 is starting school.

If you really, REALLY want a third child, I think you should go for it if you can make it work. Otherwise, it sounds like you will really regret it.

#8 happyapple

Posted 19 January 2013 - 03:14 PM

We are having a third right now. It took a bit of convincing my DH but we are so rapt about another baby arriving and the thought of another child filling our lives is just so wonderful im afraid finances aren't even an issue.

There are plenty of reasons NOT to have a third if you really want to look for them - is your car/house really big enough? Added cost of course, and I'm wondering if my body is going to cope as well as it did previously...

I just wasn't ready to hang up my hat after number 2, and I don't ever want the regret of looking back and not doing it when we still could - like so many people i know.

I don't think I could afford 6 kids, but 3 is do-able.

Good luck!

#9 tropics

Posted 19 January 2013 - 03:20 PM

Thanks for all the replies ladies..we will have to consider carefully...we both work full time, and my pay is taken all for the mortgage so all other bills, car payments, personal loans, food etc is to come out of DH pay. I know we could make it work, and we certainly dont take annual holidays, that's one sacrifice / luxury we dont and wont be able to do for a while!

With my first two children I was working in a Gov job too which of course made the maternity leave much easier..now Im back working in a cafe as I to a separation package from my Gov job in 2011 (which was a bad decision - not at the time though) but should have stayed in that job!

so would have even less maternity leave time as well..

thinking....

rolleyes.gif

#10 Duck-o-lah

Posted 19 January 2013 - 04:48 PM

It's a hard choice.

We decided to TTC2 before we hit a financial sh*tstorm. However after a year of trying I was not prepared to give up. The budget is definitely a concern that is in the back of our mind and unfortunately I will have to go back to work much sooner than I would like.

I've had to work ALOT of magic to stretch our budget to accomodate our needs, but we will get by (touching wood). No fun holidays or nice clothes or nights out, but it won't be forever.

I would not consider a third as it would go beyond the point of making lifestyle sacrifices and mean we would be asking where our net mortgage payment was coming from and how we would put food on the table.

#11 Natttmumm

Posted 19 January 2013 - 06:06 PM

We use family daycare and get the rebate that everyone gets. It's really not that expensive - definitely not one of our biggest expenses. Finances did come into the equation whether to have a third (due in a few weeks) but daycare fees which end up 30 per day didn't really bother us.
You don't need to use an expensive centre especially for children under preschool age.
All that being said our mortgage is low and we can afford a 3 rd with me working part time. I guess I might have thought differently if I had to work full time with three kids.



#12 ubermum

Posted 19 January 2013 - 06:12 PM

We did, but got rid of bad debt first. We don't have any personal loans, we now drive 10yo cars that we own and we only have debit cards and save for any large purchases we want. The baby bonus goes straight into a savings account untouched.

#13 samshine

Posted 19 January 2013 - 08:45 PM

We had a third last year, and it has placed a bit of pressure financially.

She hasn't cost us much yet, but it's certainly diminished my earnings and that's hit the family budget more than we expected.  Child care costs really do play a factor.  WE had a fortnight over christmas with very little child care days (our centre doesn't charge when it's shut) and our budget was so much more comfortable.  

Having said that, we are still so glad we did it!  She's worth it, and once I'm back at work at my previous level, hopefully things will be easier.

#14 PinkSurvivor

Posted 19 January 2013 - 10:40 PM

We've got 3 five years and under. We are living modestly on one wage until we only have one in care and we can afford for me to go back to work!

We are planning on one more. TTC in 14 months original.gif

#15 antigone_

Posted 19 January 2013 - 10:50 PM

After many years of going back and forth, squabbling over it, being resolved not to have another, then going back on that, we'll finally be having our third in about 8 weeks.

It feels amazing to shut the door on it after so long having the issue dominate my thoughts. Finances weren't an issue though, and I can understand that it's a big consideration for many.

#16 MuppetGirl

Posted 19 January 2013 - 11:16 PM

You can only do what you and your husband decide is right for your family.

Personally, for my family, we decided on having a third and we are on a single wage as I had not returned to work yet as I am doing uni part time.

Sure it is a bit of a struggle at the moment financially but in a few years, when I am working and there are no daycare fees, we will be much better off and until then our holidays are camping trips which the kids absolutely adore and I think are a great experience for them. Being able to give your children happy memories and good experiences does not mean you need a lot of money to do it.

I am a firm believer in the saying "you don't regret the kids you have, just the ones you don't have".

From what you have described about your financial situation if you really want a third then I would not let money be the only thing standing in your way.

#17 antigone_

Posted 19 January 2013 - 11:18 PM

QUOTE (Mo2k @ 20/01/2013, 12:07 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would and am trying now! I look on it that whatever financial difficulties we face now they won't be forever. I'm more scared by the prospect that we won't be able to have another than I am about money.


And this can be a very valid concern - it came as a shock to both DH and I that it would take nearly a year of TTC to conceive a viable third baby. Both our existing children were conceived first go - never in a million years imagined I'd be having a baby at 38.


#18 podg

Posted 19 January 2013 - 11:23 PM

Two's a good number. I have four, and I love doing anything with any two of them.

#19 ~shannon~

Posted 19 January 2013 - 11:47 PM


QUOTE (MahnaMahna @ 19/01/2013, 11:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Sure it is a bit of a struggle at the moment financially but in a few years, when I am working and there are no daycare fees, we will be much better off and until then our holidays are camping trips which the kids absolutely adore and I think are a great experience for them.

I am a firm believer in the saying "you don't regret the kids you have, just the ones you don't have".

From what you have described about your financial situation if you really want a third then I would not let money be the only thing standing in your way.


These are my sentiments too. We are on one income and will be for some time, but the sacrifices are worth it... The desire for DH and I to have another baby was just too strong to ignore.
As another PP has said, we got rid of all our debts, except for the mortgage. We have no other loans, two cars paid off, no credit card debt, etc. I am also not an impulse shopper... I like to look around first for the best price, so I can keep to our budget without missing out on every little luxury. And we also love camping holidays. The last holiday we had was a week camping at a national park, and it cost us $63!

We are now so excited about our new baby arriving soon. The biggest surprise to me was how my family reacted.... No shouts of "congratulations" instead they shook their heads like it was a bad idea! They have warmed to it now, but I was disappointed in their initial reaction, despite the fact that we had told my parents we were trying for number three.

#20 lynneyours

Posted 20 January 2013 - 12:01 AM

QUOTE (~shannon~ @ 20/01/2013, 12:47 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
we also love camping holidays. The last holiday we had was a week camping at a national park, and it cost us $63!

  
Details please - either here or PM would be fantastic!  original.gif

#21 ~shannon~

Posted 20 January 2013 - 01:03 AM

Carnarvon Gorge NP, central Qld. The camp sites nearest the creek and walking trails are open only during school holidays and booked up months in advance, but well worth it! There are toilets and coin-operated showers, and LOTS of wildlife (wallabies, platypus, sugar gliders). The rangers also have activities for kids and interesting slide shows at night. There is also a caravan park a short drive away but costs a lot more (ETA this is open all year round).

Edited by ~shannon~, 20 January 2013 - 01:12 AM.


#22 MrsLexiK

Posted 20 January 2013 - 08:01 AM

Personally we wouldn't. This is one of the reasons we will likely only have 1 for.

#23 hanz33

Posted 20 January 2013 - 12:54 PM

Depends what is most important to you. I doubt you would regret the decision if you had one.

#24 Jaffacakes

Posted 20 January 2013 - 01:35 PM

We always knew we wanted two children, but were undecided on the third.

I was more keen than DH, but financial issues were a big concern for us both: my DS will be at school 2.5 days per week next year (2014)) so I could have potentially started back at work PT then, plus our house is tiny, holidays will be more expensive etc.

However I used to get really jealous whenever I heard of someone expecting a baby and knew that I wasn't quite "done" yet.

In the end we just decided that our desire for child #3 outweighed all of the other things we wanted (house, holidays etc.) and really things were only going to be pushed back by a year or so (until #3 starts school). I'm a firm believer that you cut your cloth accordingly and live within your means.

We are now very excitedly awaiting the arrival of #3.

Good luck with your decision original.gif

#25 José

Posted 20 January 2013 - 11:40 PM

One thing that plays on my mind is what if any subsequent children had additional needs.  could I afford the OT speech therapy etc they may need. I know people in this situation and for some the public system just doesnt offet enough and the waiting lists can be phenomenal.  For me if mobey wss so tight I would be ubsble to afford therapies if needed I would chiosr not to have another chikd.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

The myths and truths of gender swaying

Here are a few popular methods hopeful parents-to-be use to try to get a baby of their preferred gender – and what an expert says about whether they really work.

10 easy DIY Christmas decoration ideas

It's officially time to get into the Christmas spirit. Why not branch out when you put up your tree this year and add a personal touch with a few DIY decorations? We've found the perfect easy-to-make ways to put more festive fever into your home.

The dangerous new trend of glucose challenge test refusal

A dangerous trend is seeing more mothers-to-be declining a relatively simple and painless test to check for gestational diabetes.

Office of Fair Trading reveals naughty toys ahead of Christmas

The Office of Fair Trading has pulled seven toys from shelves ahead of Christmas after they fail safety tests.

Video: Baby boy's trouble with twins

These twin girls will no doubt have fun fooling people in years to come, but nobody will be as confused as baby Landon.

Long-term reversible male contraceptive on its way

Men could soon have access to an injectable long-term contraceptive which works in a similar way to a vasectomy but promises to be easily reversed.

'I tried to kill my baby': one mum's story

After bathing and dressing her three-month-old son, Amanda had a rare moment alone with her baby.

Attack of the 'mummy brain'

I feel that almost every day, someone in my life - be they a friend, family member or complete stranger - feels the need to excuse my behaviour as I have other things on my mind.

Mum of baby who fell ill after drinking raw milk speaks out

A Melbourne mother has described how her son turned grey when he became seriously ill after drinking raw milk.

Australian divorce rate lowest since 1976

Modern newlyweds are now well into their 30s and marriage still offers something powerful a new book argues.

The aftermath of a traumatic birth experience

In Australia, 30 per cent of women find their birth experience traumatic, with 6 per cent going on to develop post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Young mum burns 'from inside-out'

A young mum is in intensive care after she took a friend's antibiotic and wound up with an ailment that is burning her body 'from the inside-out'.

The disagreement that can break a relationship

If he doesn't change his mind, all I can hope is that I will. It would be a waste to spend the rest of my marriage mourning a baby that never was.

Co-sleeping or no-sleeping? Mum videos worst nap ever

One mother's futile attempt to sleep in caught on camera in a hilarious - and very cute - video.

Why children misbehave during the festive season

While we all like to imagine the holiday season as being a fun, loving and bonding experience; often our reality is quiet different.

I was fat-shamed by my doctor

The fear of being weighed is the most significant factor in women cancelling medical appointments - and now weight-shaming has happened to me.

End of an era: no more childcare

As we reach the end of 2014, we're closing the book on many things for another year, most notably childcare. Our last child has attended childcare for the very last time.

The 7-year itch is more like the 10-year itch: study

Contrary to popular belief, making it past the seven-year mark doesn't mean your marriage will be smooth sailing from there on.

Stop telling us that parenting gets harder

I’m sure that parenting will get harder. But life isn’t exactly smooth sailing for many of us right now, either.

Should children be forced to sit on Santa's lap?

We teach kids it’s okay to say no if they don’t feel safe, so why do some parents force their children to climb in to Santa's lap?

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Baby born weighing almost 14 pounds

Yes, the bouncing baby girl was born by caesarean section. And mum says no more kids.

The dummy debate

I'm the first to admit that when I used to see tiny babies with dummies in their mouths, I thought "Hmm, lazy parenting." And now I apologise.

'I thought I was an only child'

Imagine meeting your double at a school sports event, or regularly being mistaken for someone you haven't met. Separated twins Margaret and Joy tell their story.

Mums reveal their nappy bag essentials

Ever wondered what other mums carry in their nappy bags? We have, so we asked mums to tell us their must-have nappy bag items.

Toddler died because he wasn't given antibiotics soon enough

A 15-month-old boy would almost certainly be alive today if doctors had given him antibiotics sooner, a coroner has ruled.

VIDEO: moment a toddler falls on to train tracks in Melbourne

Shocking footage has emerged capturing the moment a pram carrying a toddler rolled off a platform and onto train tracks in suburban Melbourne.

Sold on natural birth? Read the fine print

In the excitement and anticipation of a first pregnancy, I ignored the fine print: some women, some of the time.

Child with alcoholic mum who drank while pregnant won't win pay-out

A young child is not entitled to criminal injuries compensation after her mother drank excessively while pregnant.

Superbugs killing India's babies, posing wider threat

A deadly epidemic that could have global implications is quietly sweeping India, tens of thousands of newborns dying because antibiotics no longer work.

Can you teach a toddler to sleep in?

Parents share their tips on getting their early risers to sleep in, even for just a little bit longer.

Keeping your relationship on track as new parents

About 70 per cent of couples experience a slump in their relationship within three years of having a baby. Here's how we tried to get back on track.

America's favourite baby names of 2014

Americans are turning to television, Netflix and sports for ideas for what to name their wee ones.

Carers admit to force-feeding children

As Sydney grieves the loss of Sydney siege victims Katrina Dawson and Tori Johnson, reports have suggested that both died as heroes.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.