Jump to content

How do you want people to tell you they're pregnant
after you suffer a loss?


  • Please log in to reply
9 replies to this topic

#1 epl0822

Posted 18 January 2013 - 04:11 PM

ETA: I am not sure if this is the right place to start this. Please feel free to move me. I just want to get some advice as I have several close friends who miscarried in the past year and one has been receiving counselling or months.



I guess the topic is pretty much self explanatory..
If someone has suffered a miscarriage and say they have a friend or relative who knows about the loss. When the friend/relative falls pregnant, what would be the best way of them telling them?

Edited by epl0822, 18 January 2013 - 04:19 PM.


#2 beaglebaby

Posted 18 January 2013 - 04:19 PM

The kindest way a friend told me was to invite me round for coffee so I was in a private place and didn't feel the need to keep my emotions in check.  I was happy for her, but still cried, and then cried some more as I so wanted our second babies to be close.  I'm so grateful that she was so thoughtful.

#3 CountryFeral

Posted 18 January 2013 - 04:20 PM

Quietly when we are alone together and I have a chance to leave soon after.

I want to be able to genuinely express my joy for you - then nip off home and have a big sob into my pillow session.

NOT as part of a grand 'reveal' at a gathering I'm stuck at.

#4 butterflyangels

Posted 18 January 2013 - 04:28 PM

I agree with the other posters, in oerson and a private place

Most importantly they find out through you and not the grapevine as it hurts so much more (especailly if family or close frinds)

If she is having a real tough time email her then she has time to deal with your announcement brfore replying

#5 Bwok~Bwok

Posted 23 January 2013 - 11:46 PM

I'd prefer email/text that way if I'm a bit 'sensitive' they won't see my reaction. I hate feeling like I'm 'raining on their parade' and it makes me feel worse, because I am truly happy for them, but some days it can sting IYKWIM

#6 Bwok~Bwok

Posted 23 January 2013 - 11:46 PM

I'd prefer email/text that way if I'm a bit 'sensitive' they won't see my reaction. I hate feeling like I'm 'raining on their parade' and it makes me feel worse, because I am truly happy for them, but some days it can sting IYKWIM

#7 envs

Posted 24 January 2013 - 12:17 AM

a few months after my mc, dh's close rellie called to tell us they were expecting, at abot 11 at night. They were obviously aware how it would feel for us if we found out through the grapevine, so we thought it was so very thoughtful that they told us so soon after telling their immediate families.

it helped that we had recently discovered that we were expecting again, but if we weren't, it was still so much appreciated that they thought of our feelings amidst their joy.



#8 mini mac

Posted 24 January 2013 - 12:19 AM

I made an 'announcement' at a small gathering of good friends as I knew there would be massive suspicion that I wasn't drinking. Knowing my friend had that week had a d&c she was told prior to the party in private. She was upset, but still happy for us and appreciated the consideration to tell her before everyone else. She still had a cry when I told our other friends but at least she was ready for it, and so was I as most of our friends didn't know she had a m/c or was even pregnant so I could support her too.

#9 Fillyjonk

Posted 24 January 2013 - 10:12 PM

Tell me early. I do not want to spend weeks speculating whether you are just gaining weight or whether you are, indeed, expecting again. And I don't want to be the last to know in our common group of friends. Oh, and don't call it an "unexpected happy little surprise."

#10 julz78

Posted 24 January 2013 - 11:44 PM

I agree with all the other pp, pick a safe private place and time when the friend can have a cry in private and escape if they feel they need to. Even and email or pick up the phone. Whatever you do make sure you do tell and not just wait for them to find out, that hurts. My own sister didn't bother to tell me she was expecting, I found out on facebook along with a bunch of randoms not seen in the last 10 years. Everyone else in the family was told too.


1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

'Let Australians adopt our children': asylum seekers

Pregnant asylum seekers on Christmas Island begged to have their children adopted by Australians as they became anxious about their future, new reports have revealed.

The moment I knew our family was complete

It?s funny how in a few short years you can change from desperately hoping you conceive to desperately hoping you don?t.

Should bars offer free pregnancy tests?

Researchers have placed free pregnancy tests in bar restrooms in an American state, hoping it will help raise awareness of foetal alcohol syndrome. Would it work here?

Parenting a crier

There are many reasons that babies cry, but there are certainly babies that cry more than others. They're the ones who let you know how they?re feeling by crying - a lot.

Buzz takes Elias to infinity and beyond

Elias Anderson was left disappointed after a lack of knowledge about disabled access meant he didn't get to see his hero when his mum took him to watch Disney on Ice. But now a private meeting has put a huge smile on the 11-year-old's face.

HECS-style loan suggested as alternative to paid parental leave

While Tony Abbott's paid parental leave scheme is looking unlikely, a prominent think tank has created an alternative suggestion.

Photos: Two dads meeting their newborn

Emotional photos of two fathers meeting their newborn son have resonated with viewers worldwide, attracting thousands of Facebook likes and shares.

Introducing the million-dollar baby

Juke is only three weeks old, but he's joined a generation of children whose education costs could reach $1 million by the time they finish university.

The honour and heartbreak of rural midwifery

You never know what to expect when a baby is being born, but it's an honour to be there.

Does birth order influence our relationships?

New research indicates those born first stand a better chance of landing a loving, long-term relationship than their siblings. But is it for real, or just something fun to think about?

Late-night childcare not needed, parents say

The plan for childcare centres to operate around-the-clock is neither practical nor in demand, according to a nationwide survey.

Get the kids in the kitchen with cool play food sets

Show your little one how to eat healthily, even while they pretend!

The friend everyone needs on their first day of preschool

A little girl in Taiwan was homesick on her first day of preschool, but her friend was the perfect gentleman.

The beautiful moment a baby was born at the side of a road

It's not where she expected to give birth, but mum Corrine Cinatl is delighted that her daughter's roadside arrival was captured in a series of beautiful photos.

Help! My toddler is a head-banger

When he throws a tantrum, my 20-month-old often gets down on the floor and starts banging his head. What should I do?

Groom wows bride with Beyonce dance routine

A video of a "Crazy in Love" groom doing a coreographed dance with his groomsmen at his wedding has gone viral.

The carers who calm babies born with drug addictions

A special team of volunteers helps newborn babies who have withdrawal symptoms due to their mothers? opiate use.

Second time lucky: conceiving naturally after IVF

One in three Australian women who have their first baby with the help of assisted reproductive technologies, such as IVF, fall pregnant again without treatment within two years.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The beautiful moment a baby was born at the side of a road

It's not where she expected to give birth, but mum Corrine Cinatl is delighted that her daughter's roadside arrival was captured in a series of beautiful photos.

Pregnancy progression photo ideas

Want to record your pregnancy as your belly grows? Here are some creative, fun ideas for photo shoots along the way.

Your new motherhood manifesto

There?s an ocean of literature about all manner of things relating to parenthood, but there?s not a lot written about how to survive and thrive as a mother. Here are my tips.

Great gender reveal cakes

The idea is simple: get the ultrasound tech to write your baby's gender on card in a sealed envelope, then pass it on to your baker for them to create a cake with blue or pink icing inside. Then host a gender reveal party to cut the cake!

Second time lucky: conceiving naturally after IVF

One in three Australian women who have their first baby with the help of assisted reproductive technologies, such as IVF, fall pregnant again without treatment within two years.

Tin can craft and DIY ideas

Got a few old formula, Milo or coffee cans around the house? Use these fantastic upcycling ideas to create items for around the house and yard.

Dads meet their newborn for the first time

Emotional photos of two fathers meeting their newborn son have resonated with viewers worldwide, attracting thousands of Facebook likes and shares.

Skin safety isn't just a summer worry

Lax about the slip slop slap with your kids as weather turns cooler? Here's a reminder as to why we have to remain vigilant for our children?s future health.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

Help! My toddler is a head-banger

When he throws a tantrum, my 20-month-old often gets down on the floor and starts banging his head. What should I do?

Disabled boy's Disney disappointment

A Melbourne mum is angry that her disabled son missed out on seeing his hero Buzz Lightyear because staff at HiSense Arena did not know the wheelchair accessible route to their seats - which had already been given away.

Get the kids in the kitchen with cool play food sets

Show your little one how to eat healthily, even while they pretend!

Friendships under pressure

Whether you're old pals or fairly new acquaintances, even the strongest of friendships can be put to the test once you have kids. It's possible to ride out the rocky days - if you're sure it's worth it.

Creative sleeping baby photoshoots

See how some parents and photographers have captured sleeping babies in unusual positions and using different props.

DIY kitchen and food hacks

DIY your way to a better kitchen and make cooking easier with our clever hacks. (Some content reproduced with permission from mashable.com.)

Winter warmers for babies and toddlers

Your baby or toddler will be nice and snug in these beautiful and fun winter pieces. Most are hand-made or knitted, and they're all designed to keep your little one toastie - and adorable!

 

Holiday Fun

No time to be bored!

Lots of School Holiday ideas, activities, things to do, places to visit, classes to take.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.