Jump to content

How do you want people to tell you they're pregnant
after you suffer a loss?


  • Please log in to reply
9 replies to this topic

#1 epl0822

Posted 18 January 2013 - 04:11 PM

ETA: I am not sure if this is the right place to start this. Please feel free to move me. I just want to get some advice as I have several close friends who miscarried in the past year and one has been receiving counselling or months.



I guess the topic is pretty much self explanatory..
If someone has suffered a miscarriage and say they have a friend or relative who knows about the loss. When the friend/relative falls pregnant, what would be the best way of them telling them?

Edited by epl0822, 18 January 2013 - 04:19 PM.


#2 beaglebaby

Posted 18 January 2013 - 04:19 PM

The kindest way a friend told me was to invite me round for coffee so I was in a private place and didn't feel the need to keep my emotions in check.  I was happy for her, but still cried, and then cried some more as I so wanted our second babies to be close.  I'm so grateful that she was so thoughtful.

#3 HRH Countrymel

Posted 18 January 2013 - 04:20 PM

Quietly when we are alone together and I have a chance to leave soon after.

I want to be able to genuinely express my joy for you - then nip off home and have a big sob into my pillow session.

NOT as part of a grand 'reveal' at a gathering I'm stuck at.

#4 flyingfree

Posted 18 January 2013 - 04:28 PM

I agree with the other posters, in oerson and a private place

Most importantly they find out through you and not the grapevine as it hurts so much more (especailly if family or close frinds)

If she is having a real tough time email her then she has time to deal with your announcement brfore replying

#5 Bwok~Bwok

Posted 23 January 2013 - 11:46 PM

I'd prefer email/text that way if I'm a bit 'sensitive' they won't see my reaction. I hate feeling like I'm 'raining on their parade' and it makes me feel worse, because I am truly happy for them, but some days it can sting IYKWIM

#6 Bwok~Bwok

Posted 23 January 2013 - 11:46 PM

I'd prefer email/text that way if I'm a bit 'sensitive' they won't see my reaction. I hate feeling like I'm 'raining on their parade' and it makes me feel worse, because I am truly happy for them, but some days it can sting IYKWIM

#7 envs

Posted 24 January 2013 - 12:17 AM

a few months after my mc, dh's close rellie called to tell us they were expecting, at abot 11 at night. They were obviously aware how it would feel for us if we found out through the grapevine, so we thought it was so very thoughtful that they told us so soon after telling their immediate families.

it helped that we had recently discovered that we were expecting again, but if we weren't, it was still so much appreciated that they thought of our feelings amidst their joy.



#8 mini mac

Posted 24 January 2013 - 12:19 AM

I made an 'announcement' at a small gathering of good friends as I knew there would be massive suspicion that I wasn't drinking. Knowing my friend had that week had a d&c she was told prior to the party in private. She was upset, but still happy for us and appreciated the consideration to tell her before everyone else. She still had a cry when I told our other friends but at least she was ready for it, and so was I as most of our friends didn't know she had a m/c or was even pregnant so I could support her too.

#9 Fillyjonk

Posted 24 January 2013 - 10:12 PM

Tell me early. I do not want to spend weeks speculating whether you are just gaining weight or whether you are, indeed, expecting again. And I don't want to be the last to know in our common group of friends. Oh, and don't call it an "unexpected happy little surprise."

#10 julz78

Posted 24 January 2013 - 11:44 PM

I agree with all the other pp, pick a safe private place and time when the friend can have a cry in private and escape if they feel they need to. Even and email or pick up the phone. Whatever you do make sure you do tell and not just wait for them to find out, that hurts. My own sister didn't bother to tell me she was expecting, I found out on facebook along with a bunch of randoms not seen in the last 10 years. Everyone else in the family was told too.


0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Mum shares hilarious story about attempting shower sex

As most parents know, finding time for sex post-kids is one of life's not-so-little challenges.

16 things you'll learn on the preschool party circuit

Kids birthday parties sound fun in the abstract but the reality is they often end up an introverts worst nightmare – forced social interaction in the name of good parenting.

The 92-year-old who's a great-great-great-grandmother

A 92-year-old Canadian woman has become a great-great-great grandmother this week after the family welcomed a baby boy.

The Pramrolla mimics a walk in the park to help your baby get to sleep

Simply put the pram brake on, set the wheels on top of the Pramrolla, plug it in and off they go ... or so they think.

Beyonce shares surreal pregnancy photo shoot

Pop superstar Beyonce on Thursday released a slew of photos of herself posing pregnant and nude.

Airport staff order mum to squeeze her breasts to prove she's lactating

A Singaporean mum of two has spoken about her humiliation at the hands of German airport security guards who ordered her to prove she could breastfeed.

How to keep your baby or toddler safe at home

Child-proofing tips that will ensure your home remains a safe haven for curious toddlers and babies on the move.

Told to get rid of their dogs, this expectant couple took the sweetest photos instead

When the couple conceived their first human child they came under enormous pressure to give up their dogs.

Bereaved parents take baby home for 'family time' after death, thanks to cuddle cot

A bereaved mother has spoken about her decision to take her daughter's body home to spend time as a family before her funeral.

'Get off your phone!': the daycare note that's got people talking

A note posted by a US daycare facility has urged parents to get off their phone when collecting their children:

Babysitter's creative 'hands-free' baby carrier hack

We've all been there – you need to hold the baby, but you also need to eat.

Will these be the most on-trend baby names of 2017?

Nameberry has crunched the numbers, predicting which monikers will see a rise in 2017.

Firefighter adopts the baby he helped deliver

Five years ago firefighter Marc Hadden took an emergency call that changed his life.

Mum shares graphic image to highlight importance of rear-facing car seats for kids

A British safety blogger has shared a graphic photo of the damage a seatbelt can do in a car accident in a bid to persuade more parents to use rear-facing car seats for as long as possible with their kids.

Pharrell Williams and his wife welcome triplets

Now that's a good way to start the new year.

Turn yourself into a child's climbing gym with this wearable vest

It's such a neat idea for those living in high density apartment blocks where children may struggle to get enough physical activity.

Bugaboo unveils its new Bugaboo Bee5

The lightweight and compact Bugaboo Bee has been on the scene for a decade now.

The first few weeks of pregnancy: surreal, scary, exciting

It is okay to be worried, nervous, anxious, in love and happy all at the same time.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

From our network

Essential Baby & Toddler Show, presented by Blackmores

3-5 March 2017, Brisbane Convention & Exhibition Centre. Get your FREE ticket now. Save $20.

Your child's fine motor skills: what you should know

There is less of a focus on fine motor skills, but they're just as important as others. (SPONSORED)

5 ways music helps your toddler's development

There are at least five other compelling reasons to get musical around your toddler. (SPONSORED)

 

Free ticket offer

Essential Baby & Toddler Show, presented by Blackmores

3-5 March 2017, Brisbane Convention & Exhibition Centre. Get your FREE ticket now. Save $20.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.