Jump to content

How do you want people to tell you they're pregnant
after you suffer a loss?


  • Please log in to reply
9 replies to this topic

#1 epl0822

Posted 18 January 2013 - 04:11 PM

ETA: I am not sure if this is the right place to start this. Please feel free to move me. I just want to get some advice as I have several close friends who miscarried in the past year and one has been receiving counselling or months.



I guess the topic is pretty much self explanatory..
If someone has suffered a miscarriage and say they have a friend or relative who knows about the loss. When the friend/relative falls pregnant, what would be the best way of them telling them?

Edited by epl0822, 18 January 2013 - 04:19 PM.


#2 beaglebaby

Posted 18 January 2013 - 04:19 PM

The kindest way a friend told me was to invite me round for coffee so I was in a private place and didn't feel the need to keep my emotions in check.  I was happy for her, but still cried, and then cried some more as I so wanted our second babies to be close.  I'm so grateful that she was so thoughtful.

#3 HRH Countrymel

Posted 18 January 2013 - 04:20 PM

Quietly when we are alone together and I have a chance to leave soon after.

I want to be able to genuinely express my joy for you - then nip off home and have a big sob into my pillow session.

NOT as part of a grand 'reveal' at a gathering I'm stuck at.

#4 flyingfree

Posted 18 January 2013 - 04:28 PM

I agree with the other posters, in oerson and a private place

Most importantly they find out through you and not the grapevine as it hurts so much more (especailly if family or close frinds)

If she is having a real tough time email her then she has time to deal with your announcement brfore replying

#5 Bwok~Bwok

Posted 23 January 2013 - 11:46 PM

I'd prefer email/text that way if I'm a bit 'sensitive' they won't see my reaction. I hate feeling like I'm 'raining on their parade' and it makes me feel worse, because I am truly happy for them, but some days it can sting IYKWIM

#6 Bwok~Bwok

Posted 23 January 2013 - 11:46 PM

I'd prefer email/text that way if I'm a bit 'sensitive' they won't see my reaction. I hate feeling like I'm 'raining on their parade' and it makes me feel worse, because I am truly happy for them, but some days it can sting IYKWIM

#7 envs

Posted 24 January 2013 - 12:17 AM

a few months after my mc, dh's close rellie called to tell us they were expecting, at abot 11 at night. They were obviously aware how it would feel for us if we found out through the grapevine, so we thought it was so very thoughtful that they told us so soon after telling their immediate families.

it helped that we had recently discovered that we were expecting again, but if we weren't, it was still so much appreciated that they thought of our feelings amidst their joy.



#8 mini mac

Posted 24 January 2013 - 12:19 AM

I made an 'announcement' at a small gathering of good friends as I knew there would be massive suspicion that I wasn't drinking. Knowing my friend had that week had a d&c she was told prior to the party in private. She was upset, but still happy for us and appreciated the consideration to tell her before everyone else. She still had a cry when I told our other friends but at least she was ready for it, and so was I as most of our friends didn't know she had a m/c or was even pregnant so I could support her too.

#9 Fillyjonk

Posted 24 January 2013 - 10:12 PM

Tell me early. I do not want to spend weeks speculating whether you are just gaining weight or whether you are, indeed, expecting again. And I don't want to be the last to know in our common group of friends. Oh, and don't call it an "unexpected happy little surprise."

#10 julz78

Posted 24 January 2013 - 11:44 PM

I agree with all the other pp, pick a safe private place and time when the friend can have a cry in private and escape if they feel they need to. Even and email or pick up the phone. Whatever you do make sure you do tell and not just wait for them to find out, that hurts. My own sister didn't bother to tell me she was expecting, I found out on facebook along with a bunch of randoms not seen in the last 10 years. Everyone else in the family was told too.


1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

Win Love Child Season 1 & 2 on DVD

To celebrate the release of Love Child Season 2 on DVD from July 9, Essential Baby and Universal Sony Pictures Home Entertainment are giving away Love Child Season 1 & 2 on DVD to 13 lucky winners.

10 things I wish my pre-baby self knew

I look back at my pre-baby self and laugh at how ridiculously easy I actually had it. I remember complaining about how tired I was and how little time I had.

Creative ways to store your child's art

Ideas for storing your child's artworks have moved on from sticking them to the fridge door before guiltily dumping them in the bin.

Child abuse ignored because 'it's not your children': Waleed Aly

Waleed Aly takes apart the immigration law that's designed to "protect politicians"

How a newborn niece changed star Australian basketballer's life

In August 2013 star basketball Abby Bishop was 24-years-old and in the prime of her sporting career.

Guilt is my new shadow

No one warned me that when I gave birth there would be an additional side order of guilt.

12 brilliant Ikea hacks for kids’ rooms

Check out these creative upcycling ideas that transform regular Ikea items into something special for your little ones.

Child's nightmare about 'man with a light' turned out to be real

For three days, a three-year-old boy had been saying there was "a man with a light" outside his window at night.

Toilet truths after giving birth

The thought of going to the toilet after giving birth is often feared, but there are ways to make it less painful.

Woman asks strangers for $1 million to stop her having an abortion

An anonymous woman is taking an extreme moral and ethical stand by seeking $1 million in donations to prevent her going ahead with a planned abortion.

How a woman's dying wish made another woman a mum

"I kind of think about, 'What did I do beforehand? What kept me so busy back then?' Because now I'm really busy."

The parenting do-over: what six parents did differently second time around

In playgrounds across Australia, you can hear parents lamenting, "When we have our next baby I swear I won't be doing THAT again".

A solo birth, a wasp swarm and a forest fire: mum and baby's amazing story of survival

Desperate, out of petrol and low on food, a new mother lit a fire in the hope of attracting attention.

Boy found on swing died of hypothermia and dehydration, autopsy finds

The story was chilling and heartbreaking: a three-year-old boy was found dead in a Southern Maryland park, his mother pushing him on the swing.

Child's play and laughter help battle fatigue

Feeling fatigued? Uh-huh, thought as much. Join the queue.

Dad shares entertaining 'how to hold a baby' clip

For many new dads, their own child is the first baby they have ever held. So one dad has posted an instructive YouTube video titled "How to Hold a Baby".

The Australian baby with 100,000 Facebook fans

She may be only eight months old, but Egypt has already amassed more than 100,000 fans and received a letter from royalty - Hollywood royalty that is.

Tongue tie: what you need to know

Tongue and lip tie can lead to many problems for babies - and their parents. Here are the signs of tongue tie and how it's treated.

My daughter is small but that doesn't matter

My daughter may be small, but it's my job as her parent to refocus back where it belongs - on who she is as a person

Wet wipes linked to rise in allergic reactions

The government has issued a health warning after a rise in allergic skin reactions has been linked to a preservative found in some wet wipes.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

27 funny ultrasound pictures

Ultrasounds give you a look at your growing baby ... and sometimes what appears to their womb-buddy, or your bub in an amusing position.

What all parents should know about safe babywearing

A picture of Ryan Reynolds always gets the girls talking, and a recently shared photo has done exactly that - but this time, it's for all the wrong reasons.

Baby's head shape reveals potentially fatal condition

Thinking her baby just had an unusually shaped head, a mother was shocked to discover it was instead linked to a dangerous condition.

Why IVF success rates may not be what you think

Transparency, accountability and responsibilityare essential measures to protect IVF vulnerable patients.

Mother-in-law 'from hell' inspires survival guide

The happily ever after Nicola Milan had imagined wasn't to be – and she blames her mother-in-law.

Owning a pair of nail scissors does not make me a hairdresser

It's been a whole year since sleeping in until 10am. A whole year since having a peaceful shower.

The 83 children who were tragically let down in the last decade

Over a 10-year period, 83 children died from domestic violence abuse in NSW, with three quarters of the victims aged five years or under, the NSW Ombudsman has revealed.

Is it reasonable to expect your partner to give up drinking in pregnancy?

From the moment that I fell pregnant with my son, I realised just how much my life had already started to change.

Stroke victim joins class action against makers of popular contraceptive pill

"I was terrified I would always be this way. The pill needs to come with a much higher warning."

Sexy time

Why you should get excited about scheduling sex

Unfortunately, the belief that sex should always be spontaneous is a myth. It just isn't.

When newborn photoshoots get messy

When it comes to newborn photoshoots, it is all about the timing.

Expert Q&A: Gross motor skill development in toddlers and preschoolers

Dr Katie Heathershaw answers questions about jumping, toe walking, riding a bike and being pigeon toed.

'Samuel is our firstborn, and he will never be forgotten'

Having lost their firstborn at one day old, the Carrolls were overjoyed to welcome their daughter Isobel into the world a year later.

Dad takes miraculous catch while feeding baby

One American father has taken multitasking to a new level at a Cubs-Dodgers baseball game at Wrigley Field.

Name your baby Quinoa, win a $10K gift card

Choosing a name for your little bundle of joy is always a major decision. It can be something traditional, trendy, creative … or inspired by the menu of your favourite chain restaurant.

On the 10th anniversary of my son's death

This day marks a significant day. Today marks 10 years since I lost my son Kai.

'Help - my toddler hits me!'

My toddler has started hitting when he gets frustrated, is feeling ignored, or just thinks it might be fun.

The top 6 misleading parenting terms

From 'morning sickness' to 'the terrible twos', there are many parenting terms that are misleading.

When 'good' nannies go bad

While most nannies take pride in their work, there can be some who have a hidden side.

Woman hospitalised for skinny jeans injury

Beware: skinny jeans might be bad for your health.

Gauze seeding: the bacteria-breeding birth trend

A number of women having caesarean deliveries are now taking steps to give their baby a better 'microbiome' start in life.

Jimmy Fallon writes new children's book for dads

Jimmy Fallon, host of NBC's The Tonight Show, recently wrote a children's book about every father's secret wish for their baby's first word to be "dada" - not "mama".

28 names for babies born in winter

Looking for some baby name inspiration for a bub born during the colder months? Here are 28 options from around the world to consider.

 

FREE TICKET

Get your FREE ticket to the Baby & Toddler Show

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.