Jump to content

How do you want people to tell you they're pregnant
after you suffer a loss?


  • Please log in to reply
9 replies to this topic

#1 epl0822

Posted 18 January 2013 - 04:11 PM

ETA: I am not sure if this is the right place to start this. Please feel free to move me. I just want to get some advice as I have several close friends who miscarried in the past year and one has been receiving counselling or months.



I guess the topic is pretty much self explanatory..
If someone has suffered a miscarriage and say they have a friend or relative who knows about the loss. When the friend/relative falls pregnant, what would be the best way of them telling them?

Edited by epl0822, 18 January 2013 - 04:19 PM.


#2 beaglebaby

Posted 18 January 2013 - 04:19 PM

The kindest way a friend told me was to invite me round for coffee so I was in a private place and didn't feel the need to keep my emotions in check.  I was happy for her, but still cried, and then cried some more as I so wanted our second babies to be close.  I'm so grateful that she was so thoughtful.

#3 HRH Countrymel

Posted 18 January 2013 - 04:20 PM

Quietly when we are alone together and I have a chance to leave soon after.

I want to be able to genuinely express my joy for you - then nip off home and have a big sob into my pillow session.

NOT as part of a grand 'reveal' at a gathering I'm stuck at.

#4 flyingfree

Posted 18 January 2013 - 04:28 PM

I agree with the other posters, in oerson and a private place

Most importantly they find out through you and not the grapevine as it hurts so much more (especailly if family or close frinds)

If she is having a real tough time email her then she has time to deal with your announcement brfore replying

#5 Bwok~Bwok

Posted 23 January 2013 - 11:46 PM

I'd prefer email/text that way if I'm a bit 'sensitive' they won't see my reaction. I hate feeling like I'm 'raining on their parade' and it makes me feel worse, because I am truly happy for them, but some days it can sting IYKWIM

#6 Bwok~Bwok

Posted 23 January 2013 - 11:46 PM

I'd prefer email/text that way if I'm a bit 'sensitive' they won't see my reaction. I hate feeling like I'm 'raining on their parade' and it makes me feel worse, because I am truly happy for them, but some days it can sting IYKWIM

#7 envs

Posted 24 January 2013 - 12:17 AM

a few months after my mc, dh's close rellie called to tell us they were expecting, at abot 11 at night. They were obviously aware how it would feel for us if we found out through the grapevine, so we thought it was so very thoughtful that they told us so soon after telling their immediate families.

it helped that we had recently discovered that we were expecting again, but if we weren't, it was still so much appreciated that they thought of our feelings amidst their joy.



#8 mini mac

Posted 24 January 2013 - 12:19 AM

I made an 'announcement' at a small gathering of good friends as I knew there would be massive suspicion that I wasn't drinking. Knowing my friend had that week had a d&c she was told prior to the party in private. She was upset, but still happy for us and appreciated the consideration to tell her before everyone else. She still had a cry when I told our other friends but at least she was ready for it, and so was I as most of our friends didn't know she had a m/c or was even pregnant so I could support her too.

#9 Fillyjonk

Posted 24 January 2013 - 10:12 PM

Tell me early. I do not want to spend weeks speculating whether you are just gaining weight or whether you are, indeed, expecting again. And I don't want to be the last to know in our common group of friends. Oh, and don't call it an "unexpected happy little surprise."

#10 julz78

Posted 24 January 2013 - 11:44 PM

I agree with all the other pp, pick a safe private place and time when the friend can have a cry in private and escape if they feel they need to. Even and email or pick up the phone. Whatever you do make sure you do tell and not just wait for them to find out, that hurts. My own sister didn't bother to tell me she was expecting, I found out on facebook along with a bunch of randoms not seen in the last 10 years. Everyone else in the family was told too.


1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Win a Mountain Buggy Swift

To celebrate Essential Baby reaching half a million Facebook fans, we have a Mountain Buggy Swift to giveaway to a lucky fan.

Shopping with kids: breaking the pester-power cycle

You're out shopping with your little one and they're incessantly whining that they want a treat. It's easy to say no ... the first time, at least.

eBay jacket may hold clue to murdered girl's identity

A jacket similar to the one found with the remains of a brutally murdered little girl in South Australia has been identified on eBay.

New mum forced back to work early due to paid parental leave 'technicality'

Shelley Parker had to keep driving buses until the date her baby was due and will have to rush back to work at the end of this week after being denied paid parental leave on a "technicality".

Pregnant Amanda Palmer poses naked for book drive

It has to be the most original way ever of promoting a children's book donation day.

The conception dilemma facing many parents today

Some parents who conceived through a sperm donor will be wary of telling the child, while others prefer to deal with it early on. But recent research suggests it makes little difference either way.

The wedding photo the bridesmaid would rather forget

We've probably all seen a passed-out bridesmaid at one wedding or another, but it usually happens towards the end of the night.

Pregnant TV meteorologist takes on haters

Pregnant TV meteorologist Katie Fehlinger has hit back at haters who called her a "sausage in casing".

Honest words from first-time mums

I didn't want to say anything negative to my pregnant friend, but I wish I'd been more honest.

Adorable baby experiences rain for the first time, couldn't be happier

Harper had seen rain from the comfort of indoors before, but had never had the pleasure of being outside and experiencing it first hand.

What it's really like to start a family in your fifties

Many people suppose that it must be much more tiring to have a baby in middle age, but all the mothers in the playground look exhausted, whatever their age.

'Biggest hypocrite ever': Josh Duggar admits to Ashley Madison account

An American reality TV star has been busted with a cheating website account, according to US media.

Long recovery ahead for girl hit by car weeks after baby brother's death

A little girl is more alert and starting to talk after being hit by a car a week ago, but still faces a long recovery.

How to react when a toddler lies

Q: My almost-3-year-old is starting to figure out that he can lie when asked if he ripped the book, threw the food, hit his brother, etc. Totally normal, I know. How do we respond?

The circular experience of a Centrelink client

A mum-to-be experiences the frustration of dealing with Centrelink, myGov and everything in between.

Kelly Clarkson announces live on stage: 'I'm pregnant!'

Singer Kelly Clarkson has announced she is pregnant with her second child during a concert in Los Angeles.

Hack

How to search the leaked Ashley Madison data

At least three sites are republishing Ashley Madison's user data on the public-facing internet.

Mum dances her way through labour

There are a fair few ways to distract yourself and beat pains while in labour, but it's probably a rare woman who chooses her dance her way through it.

'Rest in peace, my little lion': premmie baby Jacob passes away

Baby Jacob, whose photo of him born at just 27 weeks was deemed 'too graphic' for a fundraising site, has died.

Mum killed three young sons 'to help her daughter', prosecutor says

Niall Pilkington's death last summer apparently raised little alarm in Bellefontaine, Ohio. Tragic accidents happen, after all.

Shorter women have shorter pregnancies: study

When a group of researchers studied nearly 3500 mothers and their babies, they noticed a curious pattern.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The worst 20 minutes of my life

Thirty seconds was all it took to turn a shopping trip into my worst nightmare.

Top baby names for England and Wales in 2014

George has overtaken William in the official rankings of most popular British baby names - and Game of Thrones is still having an impact on parents.

Baseball or baby? Dad's tough choice

What's more important, a baby or a baseball? That's a question this dad seems to struggle with.

Childbirth choices: five star or free?

It's not often you hear the words labour and luxury in the same sentence but for some, a 5-star start to parenthood is exactly what they seek. And with a number of private hospitals now offering packages which include a post-birth stay at a sumptuous first class resort, many mums are choosing to recover in style.

'Where did your boobies go, Mummy?' and other soul-destroying comments from kids

Most women carry a smidge of baby weight after giving birth. If you're lucky enough to have an older child in the house, they can keep you on track with your weight loss goals.

Do you read me, baby?

Is it too soon to be reading to my two-month-old son? If not, what should I read?

Minimising sibling rivalry when you've got a baby

Sibling rivalry is an act of competition, but if your children feel involved and special, this type of jealousy will be minimised.

Will studying on maternity leave take you away from your most important job?

I remember when I was trying to decide if I could combine motherhood and furthering my university education.

Win a Pacapod this Father's Day

To celebrate dads and families, we are giving away a Picos Pack from Pacapod Australia filled with a few extra goodies ENTER NOW

Preschooler hit by car shortly after baby brother's death

A mother has had a frantic race to the hospital after her daughter was hit by a car, just four weeks after her infant son died.

Gay couple and Thai surrogate in custody tug-of-war

A six-month-old baby girl is trapped in the Thai capital in a bitter custody wrangle between her Thai surrogate mother and her biological father.

Couple denied IVF over parenting concerns

A mother of six has been denied access to IVF treatment in order to have another child over concerns about her parenting skills.

The book that promises to put your children to sleep

Exhausted parents from around the world are singing the praises of a "miracle" book which promises to put even the most restless child to sleep in just minutes.

5 things every parent who feels guilty needs to know

Parenthood can make you feel bad, but you're not alone.

Royals criticise 'dangerous' attempts to photograph Prince George

The British royal family criticized paparazzi on Friday for what it called their increasingly dangerous attempts to photograph young Prince George.

'No jab, no play' rule to cover Victorian kindergartens and childcare centres

"Anti-vaxxers" face not being able to send their children to childcare centres or kindergarten if they refuse to have them immunised.

15,000 birthing kits on their way to developing countries

Giving birth in a hospital surrounded by medical experts is tough enough, but some women deliver babies without a clean sheet to lie on.

Photo of premmie 'too graphic', fundraising site says

When their son Jacob was born at just 27 weeks, Christina and Jeff Hinks were thrown into an uncertain world.

The latest Bugaboo collections: cool chevron and runner prams

Bugaboo sure likes to keep things fresh, and with the Australian spring/summer season coming up, there are two new Bugaboo pram releases.

Making room for two in the bed

Mum's room or their own room? Cot or bassinets? Deciding where twins will sleep can be tricky.

 

FREE TICKET

See Hi-5 LIVE in Sydney!

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.