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A few issues with 9 year old daughter


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#1 lils

Posted 18 January 2013 - 02:46 PM

Hi everyone

My daughter has just turned 9 (a few weeks ago). She is very shy, mostly with adults but also with children at first. It has gotten to the point where people think she is being rude because she doesnt answer them or even say hello or goodbye. This is with people she has known for years (grandma, grandpa, aunties etc). I think it must be a confidence thing, im not sure.
I was shy as a child as well, but not this shy. I worry about her at school, as she doesnt speak up for herself obviously and doesnt ask for help in class etc.
Do you think this warrants her going to a pyschologist? I dont want her to feel she is "weird" in anyway, but i have tried to help her and i dont know what to do!  I cant speak for her forever.
She also wont tell me if/why something is wrong a lot of the time and i dont feel we have a very good relationship.

Also, Completely unrelated (i think)- she shaved her legs the other day to my horror. She wouldnt tell me whether she had been teased about the hair or whether she just wanted to do it.  The hair on her legs is a bit darker than most girls, so im guessing she was feeling self conscious? It just seems too young to me to shave?  I wasnt allowd to shave until 12-13, although i know times are changing
It seems 9 is the new 13 lol.
Any advice appreciated original.gif

#2 HarperLeeAndMe

Posted 18 January 2013 - 03:00 PM

My DD is 9 too and I have told her she needs to respond to adults when spoken to it is simple courtesy and she is old enough to understand this (have also told dd2 5yrs this).  We have then talked about what kind of things they can reply with.

I always include them a lot in conversation with other adults so they can practice talking to different adults.

I was very shy as a child so understand but at this age I think kids can do with a firm push.  They are not little kids anymore and I think if they know you are supporting them it is ok to insist.  Maybe a reward and plenty of encouragement.  Don't think you need a psychologist unless it goes on.




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