Jump to content

Tell me about your LO's childcare experience


  • Please log in to reply
14 replies to this topic

#1 LipStick

Posted 18 January 2013 - 09:58 AM

I have 14 month old (nearly 15 months) and we started childcare this week. The first week has just been orientation so we have been there every day for about 1-2 hrs. It has been a mixture of me being with her and yesterday I took her in and just left. She likes being in there when I am there (does tend to hover near me though) but as soon as I leave or if I go somewhere where she can't see me she starts to cry.

I know it's still early days and thankfully I don't go back to work for another 2 weeks so we have plenty of time to help her adjust but I was wondering how long it took your little one to adjust to childcare. Yes I do know every baby is different but it would help me to hear all the different stories. I just feel so sad and guilty sad.gif

#2 sarkazm76

Posted 18 January 2013 - 10:06 AM

I feel for you - it's one of the hardest things to get through.  We started DS in the nursery room just after his 1st birthday.  I don't know if there was more than 3 days in about 7 months that he didn't cry, a lot, when I left him.  it was very distressing.  The ladies there did work well with us though and would always take him for cuddles so I didn't have to just put him down.  They told me he was always fine within a couple of minutes.  After he moved into the toddler room it was a much differnet story - he loved it and would just hug and kiss me and say 'bye mummy" and go play, lol.  Massvie difference.  He always struggles a little bit if he's had some time off (xmas hols/ being sick etc) but is usually ok by the end of the week - oh he goes Mon, Tues, Fri at the moment.
He's now been moved again into Pre-Kindy which we were not happy about as he only spent about 3 months in toddlers so seemed like a lot of change too quiickly but it turned out his whole class and one of the carers has moved too so much better.  He seems to be loving it.

Ok so I don't want you to think it took 7months+, lol.  Was probably hardest for the first month I suppose.  Then got better and better.  I also only got to spend 1 week settling him in so if you have 3 weeks that is awesome.  Try spending some time, popping out for an hour and coming back for another hour.  Then make it longer and longer.
Good luck original.gif


#3 carriesshoes

Posted 18 January 2013 - 10:11 AM

I've placed both my kids in childcare at the age of 11 months and my daughter took about 6 weeks (2 days a week) to settle into a routine and not cry.  My son on the other hand took months.  He's only 20 months now and he's fine.

I think I cried just as much when I first dropped my little ones off.  It's so hard.  You are giving a piece of your heart to someone else to care for, and it's so hard!

They do get used to it, and will soon love going once they have built friendships with other little kids and relationships with their carers.

#4 Guest_divineM_*

Posted 18 January 2013 - 10:14 AM

DD was 10 months when she started but we were doing half days for a while since I didn't go back to work until she was 13 months. she was ok, not much crying or just a little sook and then was fine i was told. Her biggest issue was that she found it too stimulating to sleep there properly, but she coped with that ok. She then had a regression around 18 months old, cried so much that I had a few calls to come get her and I had to leave work. this resolved itself all of a sudden a few weeks later and she seemed to love it from then on until Christmas. She goes back next week - we'll see how we go after a long break...Please don't feel guilty, I know that's hard but it gets easier as you go.

#5 gemini2

Posted 18 January 2013 - 10:33 AM

Hi OP,

I can only tell you my experience with my DDs.  My eldest is very shy and scared of strangers.  By strangers I mean everyone else except my husband, myself and her younger sister.  I have done so much reading on her temperament and come to the conclusion that she might/might not be ready for group situations and that's still ok.  When I started taking both of my children to Playgroup recently, my eldest would yell and scream if anyone looked at her, pulled on my clothes and refused to be anywhere but next to me.  My younger DD on the other hand was completely opposite.  I was expecting the same reactions from my eldest when we started CC orientation this last two weeks, but you know what, she didn't even cry one bit.  Although I haven't left her by herself at CC just yet I think she would be alright when the time comes.  I'm intending to spend another two to three weeks orientating her, although we have to pay next week, until she's comfortable enough in the new environment.  Lots of positive comments about going to CC to play with little friends seem to settle her a bit.  She will also have her favourite cuddly and a photo of us in her bag for comfort.

Just letting you know that you are not alone.

Edited by gemini2, 18 January 2013 - 10:37 AM.


#6 LipStick

Posted 18 January 2013 - 11:37 AM

*Big hugs* to you all!  hhugs.gif

I just dropped her off and she started crying as soon as we got in the door, so I stayed with her while she ate lunch (she ate which i think is a good thing!) and bthen left after that. She is having a sleep there today so I hope she didn't cry for too long.

Being a mum is so friken hard!! I was even considering getting a job in childcare just so I can be with her! hahah original.gif Funny what thoughts go through your head.

She does love other people and kids so I know its not that that is upsetting her, it's more that she would like me to be there with her. As much as I would love to unfortunately I have to go back to work.

Reading all your comments though has given me faith that even though it may be a long road she will end up liking childcare. Thank you again, it's nice to not feel like I'm alone.  xox

#7 The Falcon

Posted 24 January 2013 - 12:58 PM

My 2 started daycare at 12 weeks and 14 weeks respectively so never had seperation issues as by the time they were old enough to be really aware of it they were completely used to it.  I have spent a lot of time in our centre though, as initially I was going into the centre all the time to breastfeed so I watched a lot of other peoples drop offs.

The things I have noticed that seem to help reduce the seperation anxiety at drop off, or keep the crying to a minimum are:

1. Always hand bub to a carer, never just put them down to play
2. Don't be tempted to sneak away, always say good bye so they know you are leaving
3. Drop them off at breakfast time so they are keen to get stuck into it and less concerned about you leaving
4. If they do start to cry get out of there as quick as you can, don't try and comfort them as the carers can do that, and then longer you hang around for the longer they will cry
5. Always drop them off with a smile on your face, don't let them know it breaks your heart to leave them!



#8 tiefbloom

Posted 25 January 2013 - 07:33 AM

I started my DD at daycare at 14months also. Even though she is totally independent, curious, etc she still has some trouble with coping when it was time for me to leave. So the best way is to just take her in, give her a hug and a kiss then hand her over to a carer.

Despite the crying at drop off time she loved the new environment of day care then something changed and she was always miserable. She didn't want to go, she would pitch huge fits in the morning and she would bawl her eyes out when it was pick up time.

It turned out that because she was advanced for her age she was bored in her group so after discussion with the daycare providers she was moved to the next age group up and now she just LOVES IT. She can't wait to go each morning!

I do think the trick is to hand them straight over to the carer, not linger, just walk out and let them handle it. Also, never leave, come back and then leave again. It just makes things worse.

I'm sure she cries occasionally throughout the day although the carers assure me she doesn't, but she cries with me at home also. It's never smooth sailing at home and I feel at daycare there are more distractions and more fun to be had.

#9 Duck-o-lah

Posted 25 January 2013 - 07:44 AM

QUOTE
1. Always hand bub to a carer, never just put them down to play
2. Don't be tempted to sneak away, always say good bye so they know you are leaving
3. Drop them off at breakfast time so they are keen to get stuck into it and less concerned about you leaving
4. If they do start to cry get out of there as quick as you can, don't try and comfort them as the carers can do that, and then longer you hang around for the longer they will cry
5. Always drop them off with a smile on your face, don't let them know it breaks your heart to leave them!


Really good advice. It's been a while, DS started when he was just shy of one. He cried at every drop off. I can't remember how long it took him to stop, but it was certainly no less than 4 weeks (sorry, I know it's not what you want to hear!). I remember reading the above points on various websites and found they helped immensely.

I chose one carer in particular who DS seemed to prefer and handed him directly to her every morning. Over two years later she is still at the centre and she is clearly his favourite original.gif

I found the longer I lingered at drop off, the worse it became for everyone involved, so I would hang around for a little while to settle him, but once I handed him over, that was it.

As more and more children started at the centre I would see parents drop off their babies in the first weeks. They would cry and cry and the poor parents would hang around outside the door, their hearts breaking as they went off to work sad.gif On almost every occassion, it only took moments after the parents left for the child to be distracted by something and stop crying. It just really sucks that the crying is the last thing you see before you leave, it stays with you all day I know!

Good luck OP, I'll be going through the same thing again in just over 6 months!

#10 Blossom73

Posted 25 January 2013 - 08:16 AM

QUOTE (kate789 @ 24/01/2013, 01:58 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The things I have noticed that seem to help reduce the seperation anxiety at drop off, or keep the crying to a minimum are:

1. Always hand bub to a carer, never just put them down to play
2. Don't be tempted to sneak away, always say good bye so they know you are leaving
3. Drop them off at breakfast time so they are keen to get stuck into it and less concerned about you leaving
4. If they do start to cry get out of there as quick as you can, don't try and comfort them as the carers can do that, and then longer you hang around for the longer they will cry
5. Always drop them off with a smile on your face, don't let them know it breaks your heart to leave them!


This is brilliant advice and worth doing.

I started DS at 11 months going 3 days a week and to be honest, it took about 8 weeks for the tears to stop on drop off and pick up (extra guilt!!!). I would always phone and check after about 30 minutes and he was fine, it was just the separation and reappearance that was hard.

He is now going FT and although the beginning of the year was hard again after a 2 week break, he does love it, and has settled well and in a new room.

#11 LipStick

Posted 31 January 2013 - 10:03 AM

Thanks for all your replies and there is some great advice! We are onto week 2 of fulltime daycare and apart from the crying at each drop off, I am told she is doing really well!

It is very hard though because as someone said, the last thing you see if your child crying for you and that's how you feel they are throughout the day. But in my little ones case, it's not true thankfully! I can't wait for the day when she doesn't cry at drop off!

This has been the most hardest thing I have had to do (so far).

Thanks again for the responses. original.gif

#12 erindiv

Posted 31 January 2013 - 10:07 AM

kate789 has some great points there.

Can you do another orientation? The centre my two will be attending in a few weeks allows for as many orientation sessions as you and your child need. I'm opting for just one as both of my children are used to going from one place to another (they spend every second weekend with their father) but the option is there.

That said, it's going to be hard at first, of corse. A friend of mine just had a terrible attack of the guilts when her LO started childcare not long ago. She was reassured by the carers later in the day when she called to check on her DS, they said he was having a lovely time. Indeed when she picked him up at the day she said he seemed to not want to leave all his new 'friends'.

I hope it works out well for you, try not to be too hard on yourself.

#13 Leee

Posted 31 January 2013 - 10:16 PM

DS 13 months started childcare this week. He was ok during orientation but this week he has cried his little heart out, hysterical. He has really bad separation anxiety at the moment, I can't be more than a metre away, will cry if I walk in the room and DH is holding him or has been playing nicely (which is rare). Adding to that he is BF and he refuses to drink his lunch bottle, won't drink water and will have a little yoghurt and nothing else.

Even though when I pick him up from childcare, the minute he sees me he is hysterical, I suppose I at least feel comfort that before he sees me he is ok sad.gif

#14 Rainbow Brite

Posted 01 February 2013 - 10:07 PM

Hi OP. I'm not much help but I dropped my DS almost 1 to FDC this week and he loved it straight away which was such a relief. The advice from PP is great a d I agree with the point about handing baby straight to a carer.

Good luck original.gif

#15 mm1981

Posted 01 February 2013 - 10:20 PM

My son still cries sometimes when I drop him off at childcare and he is almost 3.  But he also puts on a show if I leave him with my husband, my mum or the inlaws.  He loves all of them, so I don't think he is that upset by childcare.

I was told the best thing to do is not linger as it makes it worse.  It is kind of out of sight, out of mind.  Don't do a long, drawn out goodbye, a quick kiss and cuddle, hand over to the carers and leave.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Teaching our son to say no to violence against women

Today, on White Ribbon Day - and every other day - we're teaching our son to say no to violence against women.

Mothers told to breastfeed in 'spacious' toilet

If there is one thing the owners of Tillings Cafe can be certain of, it is that the eatery won't win the award for Britain's best baby-friendly coffee shop any time soon.

Mother gives name to son dumped down drain

A woman who admitted to dumping her newborn baby down a Sydney drain has reportedly been allowed to give him a name.

Taking small steps to reduce stress

Are you feeling used up by life's stress, family problems and a demanding job you can't turn off? Many people are way beyond work-life exhaustion. They are functioning as robots.

Bad news: we're running out of chocolate

The world's biggest chocolate-maker says we're running out of chocolate.

Born at 23 weeks, 'Chopstick Baby' survives first week

A baby who was born at 23 weeks has survived her first week of life outside the womb.

Manic stations: the nesting instinct in pregnancy

It might sound like temporary insanity, but almost obsessive nesting as you near your due date isn’t uncommon – even if you’re not usually a particularly clean person.

How a baby can survive alone for days on end

The baby found abandoned in a Sydney drain may have been alone for up to six days without being fed, leaving many asking how he could have survived.

When it begins to look a lot like Christmas

A child's excitement at Christmas time is a beautiful thing, but one dad ponders whether his toddler daughter is getting into the festive mood a bit too soon.

Hospital lets dads the experience some of the pain of childbirth

A new experience is radically altering men's views of childbirth.

Italian doctors questioned over formula bribes

Italian police have placed 12 doctors under house arrest on suspicion of promoting baby milk formula over breastfeeding.

Heartwarming prank gives single mum the house she was hired to clean

Cara Simmons arrived at work to clean a large and beautiful house in time for a party planned for that evening. It was soon hers.

Those special moments of sibling bonding

Every now and then your child does or says something that is truly memorable.

Why we should stop telling new parents to 'enjoy every moment'

A few weeks ago, some dear friends of mine had their first baby. As the proud dad texted me a picture I had to fight the natural instinct to say “Enjoy every moment!”

Baby monitor footage posted online

Footage of Australian babies and children sleeping in their bedrooms are among the images on a Russian site showing live feeds from thousands of homes and businesses around the world.

Did this new dad really hit on his wife's midwife?

Was there really a man who was actually there by his wife’s side as she laboured and gave birth to his child, all while he was making what he perceived to be meaningful eye contact with a midwife?

Keep calm and ignore the Tantrum Trolls

Tantrum Trolls are a small but growing species of predatory bottom-feeders who delight in picking on parents at their most vulnerable.

It's okay to never 'get over' the death of a loved one

The death of children, siblings, and parents has long term impacts on the rest of our lives.

What Mark Latham needs to know about depression and motherhood

Love has nothing to do with mental illness. But love may drive a mother to do something about it.

'We're just trying to keep our child alive': life with FPIES

We have a beautiful seven-month-old son, and his allergy rules our life.

Transgender dad breastfeeds his babies

A transgender man who breastfed his first baby - despite having his breasts removed as part of his transformation from female to male - has now had a second child.

Couple face $1 million medical bill and bankruptcy after babymoon birth

A Canadian couple were slammed with a million dollar medical bill after their daughter was prematurely during their babymoon.

Cigarettes, junk food dominate supermarket sales growth

One in every five dollars spent at supermarkets goes on cigarettes or junk food, according to industry data.

Teacher under fire for breastfeeding in class

There is no doubt mums have a right to continue breastfeeding after they have returned to work, but one teacher in the US has taken it to the extreme.

Win a family pass to Disney Live!

We have 4 family passes to give away to see Disney Live! presents Three Classic Fairy Tales, touring Australia this December/January.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Join PADDINGTON on the red carpet!

To celebrate the release of PADDINGTON, we are giving five lucky winners the chance to win a family pass to the exclusive Australian Premiere in Sydney on December 7!

The tragedy of losing a favourite teddy bear

We were green and uninitiated, perhaps a little naïve when it came to the favourite toy responsibility.

Video: Baby sniffs beardless dad to make sure it's him

She looks him up and down and then touches his chin, but baby Lindsey still isn't sure this clean-shaven man is her dad.

It's possible to workout while pregnant

Medical experts say intense fitness routines can be done safely during pregnancy - if the mums-to-be follow some guidelines.

What parents really want for their kids

Are our hopes, dreams and expectations for our children what they really need?

'I had a feeling something was seriously wrong'

Before even giving birth, Katie Myers' maternal instincts warned her something was wrong with her baby.

When your pregnancy causes a relationship rift

Some dads-to-be don't miss a beat when their partner is pregnant; others struggle with a range of issues and can become withdrawn, right when their support is needed most.

Couple uses group photo trick to announce pregnancy to loved ones

Katharine and Kris Camilli devised a clever trick to immortalise their family and friends' reactions to their exciting pregnancy news.

Why Tracey Spicer has given up make-up

"After 30 years on television, I had become what I despised: a painted doll who spent an hour a day and close to $200 a week putting on a mask."

Knowing you are one of the lucky ones

I am secure, confident and strong, but the responsibility of protecting my children can almost bring me undone.

Why I am so emotional now I have kids?

There are so many ways in which parenthood changes us as women, but one of the most noticeable, for me, has been the changing state of my emotions.

Baby survives despite sharing womb with 'foreign body'

Baby Maia was conceived against the odds, only to find she was sharing a womb with an ominous "foreign body".

Video: Baby shows dog how to jump - or vice versa

They say dog is man's best friend, but this playful pooch seems to have chosen a jumping baby as her number one buddy.

10 ways to soothe a crying baby

New paernts can get frustrated when their newborn gets fussy and can't settle down. When you're feeling overwhelmed, try some of these simple tips to help soothe your baby.

20 baby names that are becoming more popular every year

The data-lovers at nameberry.com have been at it again – this time, they’ve discovered the names that are continually rising up the ranks, ready to take out some top spots in the next few years.

10 great meals to make for new parents

Ideally, you want to give food that isn’t expensive to make, isn't too difficult to create, and freezes well; stews, bakes, soups and pasta sauces are perfect.

Weird pregnancy products

Some pregnancy products come to market and are just awesome. Others just leave you scratching your head.

Carers admit to force-feeding children

Twin brothers have become dads on the same day ? with their partners giving birth in the same hospital, and even the same birthing pool.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.