Jump to content

If a guest's child breaks a big present
Do you ask they help pay for it?


  • Please log in to reply
71 replies to this topic

#1 peach*face

Posted 18 January 2013 - 06:52 AM

I had my friend over, she bought her new partner and his son. My friend and I went out for dinner and left the new BF, his son, my kids and my partner at home. We came back about an hour later, his son had ripped wiring and the microphone off my dd's brand new keyboard she got for christmas which was also her favourite present. She is only 4 and was really upset. I can't find any more of these keyboards anywhere and I don't really want to pursue it but I am not sure if I should ask her/ new bf to pay half if I do get one? The little boy has a form of autism and they don't have heaps of spare cash.



Would you ask or just leave it? Our daughter is very upset and the keyboard is completely stuffed.

Edited by peach*face, 18 January 2013 - 06:57 AM.


#2 Soontobegran

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:00 AM

Unfortunately I would probably put it down to bad luck sad.gif
If I was the other parent I would offer to pay for it but if you don't think it is likely to happen then it is probably not worth stewing over because ultimately the adults perhaps should have been supervising a little more closely?

It is very sad for your DD, are you sure you can't get a replacement wire from the manufacturer and fix it? I know we did that once when someone practised their cutting skills on a microphone.



#3 FluffyOscar

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:03 AM

I would leave it. From your description of how badly it was broken, I suspect the fathers weren't doing a very good job of supervising. Your poor DD.

#4 Mpjp is feral

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:04 AM

QUOTE (FluffyOscar @ 18/01/2013, 08:03 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would leave it. From your description of how badly it was broken, I suspect the fathers weren't doing a very good job of supervising. Your poor DD.



This sorry....

#5 peach*face

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:05 AM

Thanks STBG original.gif. The keyboard was in the same room, apparently he ran over to it just randomly and started pulling out the wiring on the mic and yelling out "sorry" as he did it. So it was all very quick. No offer to pay, but I think I wouldn't have accepted anyway at the time.

I guess its a suck it up incident. These keyboards all all sold out and DP said its totally wrecked.

Edited by peach*face, 18 January 2013 - 07:11 AM.


#6 JustBeige

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:08 AM

QUOTE (FluffyOscar @ 18/01/2013, 08:03 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would leave it. From your description of how badly it was broken, I suspect the fathers weren't doing a very good job of supervising. Your poor DD.

I agree.

I would just try and get it repaired or get a replacement



Eta: we posted at the same time

Edited by JustBeige, 18 January 2013 - 07:10 AM.


#7 SophieBear

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:10 AM

I think it's just one of those things..

You mention that your friend is tight in cash and personally, I'd hate for my friend and I to fall out over an accident.

I would try and contact the manufacturer and see whether it can be fixed and if you're still concerned, mention it in conversation that you fixed it and it cost .....

#8 peach*face

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:13 AM

The keyboard was in the living area. I think the supervision was lacking, with that said my DP wasn't aware the child had ASD until after it occured.

Thanks for your replies, I will leave it. original.gif

Edited by peach*face, 18 January 2013 - 07:14 AM.


#9 KT1978

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:17 AM

I find it odd that the kid was left in the care of the "new boyfriend" in the first place.

Or am I the only one?

#10 FluffyOscar

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:18 AM

QUOTE (peach*face @ 18/01/2013, 08:13 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The keyboard was in the living area. I think the supervision was lacking, with that said my DP wasn't aware the child had ASD until after it occured.

Thanks for your replies, I will leave it. original.gif

The problem is the lack of supervision, not the ASD. The description of what happened is pretty funny. So this kid was so quick to destroy the keyboard that your DH and his father couldn't get there in time? Sounds like they were far, far away in that case. I'd be annoyed with DH and putting it on him.

#11 Soontobegran

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:19 AM

That is bad luck for sure. You'd think if there was going to be an offer of assistance it would have come when you got home with your friend sad.gif

I do think it would probably cool my friendship with these people. I know accidents happen but I am all for acknowledging the problem and being part of the problem solving.
I hope your little girl is ok.


efc

Edited by soontobegran, 18 January 2013 - 09:11 AM.


#12 FearsomeFeralFreak

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:19 AM

I would ask for money towards it to be fixed. Maybe offer to go halves?

The father needs to be responsible and give you some money towards fixing it.

I wouldn't expect a friendship to fall apart because you asked a parent to contribute to a child's breakages.

#13 LookMumNoHands

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:21 AM

Glad you're going to leave it, OP.

I second STBG's suggestion. Take it to an electrical repairs place, hopefully it can be fixed and work again for your DD.

#14 peach*face

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:24 AM

QUOTE
I find it odd that the kid was left in the care of the "new boyfriend" in the first place


It's the new BF's son. Not my friend's son. Why is that weird? I left my kids with their dad, friend's BF was looking after his son. They have been together a few months, so natural they should visit and not at all weird.

He had been playing on it normally before the incident, it's in the same room as the TV and where the Dad's were sitting. The mic is pretty flimsy and not that hard to rip out.

I would take it down somewhere to repair but I think that would cost more than the keyboard. I'll just get a new microphone to go with it seperately.original.gif

Edited by peach*face, 18 January 2013 - 07:39 AM.


#15 3mummy3

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:28 AM

QUOTE (KT1978 @ 18/01/2013, 07:17 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I find it odd that the kid was left in the care of the "new boyfriend" in the first place.

Or am I the only one?


The "new boyfreind" is the kid's father. The op's freind is not the boy's mum.

Edited by 3mummy3, 18 January 2013 - 07:29 AM.


#16 Missy Shelby

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:28 AM

I would have offered to pay for a new one but that is kinda how we roll in this family, not all families do unfortunately

#17 jennywin

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:29 AM

I'd leave it. It is a toy for a 4 year old after all.

However I would try and fix it. These things have screws. Open it up, and give it a go reattaching the wire. I did it recently with a remote control car. Give it a go, nothing to lose, and good example to set your kids regarding fixing things or trying to.

And btw, completely normal to leave children under the supervision on trusted adults, male or female. Its 2013 after all.  As for the stuff up, were human, they're kids.

#18 Bluenomi

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:33 AM

You shouldn't need to ask, they should be offering to replace it!! If you break something that belongs to someone else (espeically a small child's fave toy) you replace it. I can't believe they were so rude not to offer!

I'd be telling them to replace it and not inviting them over again in a hurry.

#19 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:38 AM

QUOTE (peach*face @ 18/01/2013, 06:52 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Would you ask or just leave it? Our daughter is very upset and the keyboard is completely stuffed.

I would leave it.  To be honest, it wouldn't occur to me to ask for money.  sh*t happens.  Sounds like there wasn't close supervision, either with the boy's father or your own DH. As as much as your daughter is upset, it's not really going to scar her for life.

Mind you, if I was the friend, I would have offered some money towards repair/replacement.  But you have already said they don't have spare cash, so maybe she's simply not in a position to make that offer anyway.

I'd look into getting it repaired, if possible.

#20 Tobias'smum

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:45 AM

I would ask for it to be fixed/ replaced i have before and i have offered before when ds broke something.

One thing he broke was something like your dds where only one I could find etc so DH fixed it and we brought an addition for the item that the little girl wanted. because its the right thing to do.

Just because its a child and it some thing she loves and adores (even if only for a short time) it doesnt mean it has less value then say something i love that I would want replacced if it was broken.

#21 *lightning

Posted 18 January 2013 - 08:05 AM

I wouldn't ask for money but I would offer if my child broke something. I would buy another one for my child.

If they don't supervise properly and allow their child to get rough with toys. I wouldn't invite them over again, I would arrange play dates at the park.

As for ASD, I would expect a parent to supervise the child properly but I would accept that the child is different and might be difficult for the parent to handle. ASD is not an excuse to break things because a parent should be supervising but all children have their moments and an ASD child is more likely to suddenly do something like break a toy.

#22 BadCat

Posted 18 January 2013 - 08:12 AM

I'd expect him to pay for it.

The fact that he apparently didn't offer means he is unlikely to pay for it if asked anyway so you have to decide whether it is worth making a fuss over.

#23 mummabear

Posted 18 January 2013 - 08:20 AM

Your poor dd.  I hate that people don't offer to replace things even if I wouldn't accept! It's just plain good manners. And who cares if the kid has autism. Makes zero difference to what happened. It doesn't exempt his father from being responsible!



#24 elizabethany

Posted 18 January 2013 - 08:31 AM

Why should your DD miss out because the BF didn't supervise well enough?  Try and get it repaired or replaced, whichever is cheaper and possible, and get them to pay for it.  Their damage, their cost.

#25 Mumsyto2

Posted 18 January 2013 - 08:41 AM

I'm going against the grain here. My philosophy is that if a child comes over to MY house then it is MY responsibility to supervise them in MY house around MY possessions and MY children whether their parent is present or not. So for example if a visitors child scribbled on my wall or broke something I would accept immediately that I had failed in my duty of care to supervise correctly in my house and there is no way I would be expecting the parent to try and fix it or pay for it as it was my fault.

I do supervise my kids when I take them to other peoples houses and so far have never had an incident but ultimately I feel it is their responsibility to maintain appropriate supervision in their own home as I do in mine.  I don't feel that ASD enters into this, I have a child wirth ASD and have a couple of friends with kids with ASD and I don't use this as an excuse not to supervise the kids appropriately in my own house or use it as an excuse to make their parents responsible for my inability to correctly supervise and take control in my house.

Edited by Mumsyto2, 18 January 2013 - 08:42 AM.





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

How I learnt to relax about routines

After many routine-led, tough years, we've realised that being parenting isn't about being perfect. It isn't about following a schedule to a T.

Should you have a third child or not?

I thought our family had been complete with our two boys. I had no idea how much I needed my daughter until she was here.

Helping a toddler embrace an adopted sibling

A single parent by choice, I am preparing to adopt a second baby from Morocco. And I face a special challenge.

When pregnancy messes with your self-esteem

Pregnancy doesn't make all women feel beautiful. It certainly doesn't raise every woman's self-esteem.

Join us in The BIG nappy change

Introducing the new Coles Little Explorer Nappies! You can confidently rely on Coles Little Explorer nappies at each stage of your child's growth, so take the Big Nappy Change and try new Coles Little Explorer nappies for yourself!

Robbie Williams live tweets wife's labour

And the award for most patient woman in labour goes to ... Robbie Williams' wife, Ayda Field.

Vaccine ignorance is deadly and contagious

In the absence of credible, strong political leadership, paranoia about disease can go viral.

Parenting differently based on birth order

All children have unique personalities, but keeping birth order in mind could help when parenting.

How to get rid of the mum guilt

Motherhood and guilt seem to go hand in hand, but there are ways to focus

Paid parental leave scheme grinds to a halt

The future of Prime Minister Tony Abbott's paid parental leave scheme appears to be up in the air, despite the fact it is due to begin in less than nine months.

The devastation of foetal alcohol spectrum disorders

No one's sure how many Australians are affected by foetal alcohol spectrum disorders, but the consequences for those who are can be devastating.

The pros and cons of finding out the sex of your unborn baby

It’s often one of the biggest choices parents make during the course of their pregnancy; to find out, or not to find out, the sex of their baby before it’s born.

Toddler's awesome dress up month

Two-year-old Willow and her photographer mum, Gina Lee, made October "Dress Up Willow Month". She posted photos of Willow's costumes on her Instagram account, and her creative takes on popular culture are simply adorable.

Childhood around the world

It can be easy to assume our ideas around childhood are universal, but they are particular to where we live, as these practices show.

Best picks for baby and toddler shoes

Here's a great selection of footwear from pre-walker to walker ensuring comfort and style for growing feet.

I lost my wife and daughters to Ebola - then it came for my son

Sunday, September 21, is a day I will never forget.

The 'yucky' illness that took over my life

I have a chronic illness nobody likes to discuss. It involves toilet talk, and probably caused my miscarriage. But it needs to be talked about.

Prenatal testing: the facts

Prenatal testing is done to check if a baby has certain medical conditions before birth. Here is some important information about what the tests are for and the risks involved.

5 things to do with your baby?s old clothes

Did you think your only option for your baby?s old clothes was to pack them away or give them to the Salvos? Think again.

Why it's possible to not realise you're pregnant until the baby arrives

After hearing about 'surprise babies' born to mums who didn't know they were pregnant, it's common to ask "how did she not realise?" But experts say it's entirely possible for it to happen.

'My miracle is finally here'

How has the world continued on its pace when mine has been altered so drastically?

Dairy can help older women fall pregnant: study

Ice cream may be the ultimate comfort food, but a study suggests it could also help older women to have children.

Megan Gale goes topless for 'sexiest people' cover

Six months after a heavily pregnant Megan Gale posed nude for Marie Claire, the glowing new mum has gone topless for the cover of another magazine.

A new perspective on life from living with two diseases

A mother shares her personal story about the difficulty of living with two conditions, one of which stops her from being able to see her daughter's face.

Warning about Children's Panadol dosage

The Therapeutic Goods Administration has issued a safety advisory warning parents about confusion when using the dosing syringe supplied with Children's Panadol.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Take 'The Coles Big Nappy Change' Challenge

You could become part of our Test Drive team and win one of 200 packs of Coles Little Explorer Nappies as part of our 5-day challenge.

Win 1 of 5 Canon Powershot D30 cameras

Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!

16 parenting truths you won't find in the baby books

I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.

Best and worst potty party cakes

It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.

7 tips for a financially festive Christmas

Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Great birthday party buys from Etsy

Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.

Join us in The BIG nappy change

Introducing the new Coles Little Explorer Nappies! You can confidently rely on Coles Little Explorer nappies at each stage of your child's growth, so take the Big Nappy Change and try new Coles Little Explorer nappies for yourself!

Creative storage ideas for the kids' rooms

Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.

Thief uses breast milk as weapon

Police are on the hunt for a thief who robbed a pharmacy using her lactation skills.

To the mum in the doctor's waiting room

Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.

10 space-saving nursery ideas

Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.

 

What's in a name?

Baby Names

Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.