Jump to content

If a guest's child breaks a big present
Do you ask they help pay for it?


  • Please log in to reply
72 replies to this topic

#1 peach*face

Posted 18 January 2013 - 06:52 AM

I had my friend over, she bought her new partner and his son. My friend and I went out for dinner and left the new BF, his son, my kids and my partner at home. We came back about an hour later, his son had ripped wiring and the microphone off my dd's brand new keyboard she got for christmas which was also her favourite present. She is only 4 and was really upset. I can't find any more of these keyboards anywhere and I don't really want to pursue it but I am not sure if I should ask her/ new bf to pay half if I do get one? The little boy has a form of autism and they don't have heaps of spare cash.



Would you ask or just leave it? Our daughter is very upset and the keyboard is completely stuffed.

Edited by peach*face, 18 January 2013 - 06:57 AM.


#2 soontobegran

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:00 AM

Unfortunately I would probably put it down to bad luck sad.gif
If I was the other parent I would offer to pay for it but if you don't think it is likely to happen then it is probably not worth stewing over because ultimately the adults perhaps should have been supervising a little more closely?

It is very sad for your DD, are you sure you can't get a replacement wire from the manufacturer and fix it? I know we did that once when someone practised their cutting skills on a microphone.



#3 Lady Garden

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:03 AM

I would leave it. From your description of how badly it was broken, I suspect the fathers weren't doing a very good job of supervising. Your poor DD.

#4 mpjp

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:04 AM

QUOTE (FluffyOscar @ 18/01/2013, 08:03 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would leave it. From your description of how badly it was broken, I suspect the fathers weren't doing a very good job of supervising. Your poor DD.



This sorry....

#5 peach*face

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:05 AM

Thanks STBG original.gif. The keyboard was in the same room, apparently he ran over to it just randomly and started pulling out the wiring on the mic and yelling out "sorry" as he did it. So it was all very quick. No offer to pay, but I think I wouldn't have accepted anyway at the time.

I guess its a suck it up incident. These keyboards all all sold out and DP said its totally wrecked.

Edited by peach*face, 18 January 2013 - 07:11 AM.


#6 JustBeige

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:08 AM

QUOTE (FluffyOscar @ 18/01/2013, 08:03 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would leave it. From your description of how badly it was broken, I suspect the fathers weren't doing a very good job of supervising. Your poor DD.

I agree.

I would just try and get it repaired or get a replacement



Eta: we posted at the same time

Edited by JustBeige, 18 January 2013 - 07:10 AM.


#7 SophieBear

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:10 AM

I think it's just one of those things..

You mention that your friend is tight in cash and personally, I'd hate for my friend and I to fall out over an accident.

I would try and contact the manufacturer and see whether it can be fixed and if you're still concerned, mention it in conversation that you fixed it and it cost .....

#8 peach*face

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:13 AM

The keyboard was in the living area. I think the supervision was lacking, with that said my DP wasn't aware the child had ASD until after it occured.

Thanks for your replies, I will leave it. original.gif

Edited by peach*face, 18 January 2013 - 07:14 AM.


#9 KT1978

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:17 AM

I find it odd that the kid was left in the care of the "new boyfriend" in the first place.

Or am I the only one?

#10 Lady Garden

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:18 AM

QUOTE (peach*face @ 18/01/2013, 08:13 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The keyboard was in the living area. I think the supervision was lacking, with that said my DP wasn't aware the child had ASD until after it occured.

Thanks for your replies, I will leave it. original.gif

The problem is the lack of supervision, not the ASD. The description of what happened is pretty funny. So this kid was so quick to destroy the keyboard that your DH and his father couldn't get there in time? Sounds like they were far, far away in that case. I'd be annoyed with DH and putting it on him.

#11 soontobegran

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:19 AM

That is bad luck for sure. You'd think if there was going to be an offer of assistance it would have come when you got home with your friend sad.gif

I do think it would probably cool my friendship with these people. I know accidents happen but I am all for acknowledging the problem and being part of the problem solving.
I hope your little girl is ok.


efc

Edited by soontobegran, 18 January 2013 - 09:11 AM.


#12 challice

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:19 AM

I would ask for money towards it to be fixed. Maybe offer to go halves?

The father needs to be responsible and give you some money towards fixing it.

I wouldn't expect a friendship to fall apart because you asked a parent to contribute to a child's breakages.

#13 LookMumNoHands

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:21 AM

Glad you're going to leave it, OP.

I second STBG's suggestion. Take it to an electrical repairs place, hopefully it can be fixed and work again for your DD.

#14 peach*face

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:24 AM

QUOTE
I find it odd that the kid was left in the care of the "new boyfriend" in the first place


It's the new BF's son. Not my friend's son. Why is that weird? I left my kids with their dad, friend's BF was looking after his son. They have been together a few months, so natural they should visit and not at all weird.

He had been playing on it normally before the incident, it's in the same room as the TV and where the Dad's were sitting. The mic is pretty flimsy and not that hard to rip out.

I would take it down somewhere to repair but I think that would cost more than the keyboard. I'll just get a new microphone to go with it seperately.original.gif

Edited by peach*face, 18 January 2013 - 07:39 AM.


#15 3mummy3

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:28 AM

QUOTE (KT1978 @ 18/01/2013, 07:17 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I find it odd that the kid was left in the care of the "new boyfriend" in the first place.

Or am I the only one?


The "new boyfreind" is the kid's father. The op's freind is not the boy's mum.

Edited by 3mummy3, 18 January 2013 - 07:29 AM.


#16 Missy Shelby

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:28 AM

I would have offered to pay for a new one but that is kinda how we roll in this family, not all families do unfortunately

#17 jennywin

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:29 AM

I'd leave it. It is a toy for a 4 year old after all.

However I would try and fix it. These things have screws. Open it up, and give it a go reattaching the wire. I did it recently with a remote control car. Give it a go, nothing to lose, and good example to set your kids regarding fixing things or trying to.

And btw, completely normal to leave children under the supervision on trusted adults, male or female. Its 2013 after all.  As for the stuff up, were human, they're kids.

#18 Bluenomi

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:33 AM

You shouldn't need to ask, they should be offering to replace it!! If you break something that belongs to someone else (espeically a small child's fave toy) you replace it. I can't believe they were so rude not to offer!

I'd be telling them to replace it and not inviting them over again in a hurry.

#19 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:38 AM

QUOTE (peach*face @ 18/01/2013, 06:52 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Would you ask or just leave it? Our daughter is very upset and the keyboard is completely stuffed.

I would leave it.  To be honest, it wouldn't occur to me to ask for money.  sh*t happens.  Sounds like there wasn't close supervision, either with the boy's father or your own DH. As as much as your daughter is upset, it's not really going to scar her for life.

Mind you, if I was the friend, I would have offered some money towards repair/replacement.  But you have already said they don't have spare cash, so maybe she's simply not in a position to make that offer anyway.

I'd look into getting it repaired, if possible.

#20 Tobias'smum

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:45 AM

I would ask for it to be fixed/ replaced i have before and i have offered before when ds broke something.

One thing he broke was something like your dds where only one I could find etc so DH fixed it and we brought an addition for the item that the little girl wanted. because its the right thing to do.

Just because its a child and it some thing she loves and adores (even if only for a short time) it doesnt mean it has less value then say something i love that I would want replacced if it was broken.

#21 *lightning

Posted 18 January 2013 - 08:05 AM

I wouldn't ask for money but I would offer if my child broke something. I would buy another one for my child.

If they don't supervise properly and allow their child to get rough with toys. I wouldn't invite them over again, I would arrange play dates at the park.

As for ASD, I would expect a parent to supervise the child properly but I would accept that the child is different and might be difficult for the parent to handle. ASD is not an excuse to break things because a parent should be supervising but all children have their moments and an ASD child is more likely to suddenly do something like break a toy.

#22 BadCat

Posted 18 January 2013 - 08:12 AM

I'd expect him to pay for it.

The fact that he apparently didn't offer means he is unlikely to pay for it if asked anyway so you have to decide whether it is worth making a fuss over.

#23 mummabear

Posted 18 January 2013 - 08:20 AM

Your poor dd.  I hate that people don't offer to replace things even if I wouldn't accept! It's just plain good manners. And who cares if the kid has autism. Makes zero difference to what happened. It doesn't exempt his father from being responsible!



#24 Great Dame

Posted 18 January 2013 - 08:27 AM

QUOTE (YodaTheWrinkledOne @ 18/01/2013, 07:38 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would leave it.  To be honest, it wouldn't occur to me to ask for money.  sh*t happens.  Sounds like there wasn't close supervision, either with the boy's father or your own DH. As as much as your daughter is upset, it's not really going to scar her for life.


Agreed.


#25 elizabethany

Posted 18 January 2013 - 08:31 AM

Why should your DD miss out because the BF didn't supervise well enough?  Try and get it repaired or replaced, whichever is cheaper and possible, and get them to pay for it.  Their damage, their cost.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Life with anxiety

At times, I feel pretty worthless. In those moments, all I want to do is curl up into a ball and hide in the dark. I can try to quiet my mind, but it won?t shut up.

IVF leaves woman pregnant with another couple's twins

An Italian woman has been told the twins she is three months pregnant with are not hers.

'My mother-in-law found out our baby's gender behind our backs'

My husband and I mutually decided that we didn?t want to know our baby's sex before the birth, but his mother couldn't handle that.

What you need for the 'fourth trimester'

In my opinion, the first three months after the birth are the most intense. Here's what got me through that time after welcoming my baby.

Weaning a toddler off a dummy: a 15-day plan

Weaning your child off the dummy can be a traumatic experience for both of you. Here are some tips to help you through.

Choosing to be a solo parent

Two women share their stories of longing for a baby so much that they each decided not to wait for a partner before becoming a mum.

Asphyxia link another piece of the SIDS puzzle

An Australian study has uncovered information which could lead to a better understanding of why babies die from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Rescue dog Zoey and BFF Jasper star in adorable pics

Photographer, self-professed "crazy dog lady" and mum Grace Chon takes photos of rescue dog Zoey and her 10-month-old son Jasper together. The results are just too cute. See more on Instagram @thegracechon.

The ultimate travel stroller: the Mountain Buggy nano

We tried the Mountain Buggy nano and give it an enthusiastic thumbs up. As the ultimate travel stroller, it's practical, has great features, and looks fab, too.

Mum's heartbreak as son dies in road accident

Daly Thomas and her two young sons were walking home from church on Tuesday afternoon. Her youngest son never made it.

New Kate Spade baby bag designs

Don?t adjust your screen: this bright beauty is coming to you in full colour.

Easter gifts for babies, no chocolate in sight!

If this is your little one?s first Easter you might want to mark the occasion with something a little extra special. Here are 10 Easter gift ideas, which won't harm little teeth.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win the brand new phil&teds vibe

Check out the good looking new release of the Vibe 3 and the Verve 4-wheeler inline strollers. To celebrate their release, we have a Vibe with double kit to give away.

Baby sleep

From birth to one year and beyond, read about baby sleep, soothing techniques, routines, and sleep school experiences.

Easter gifts for babies, no chocolate in sight!

If this is your little one?s first Easter you might want to mark the occasion with something a little extra special. Here are 10 Easter gift ideas, which won't harm little teeth.

7 tips for a kid-free trip, not a guilt trip

Although I?m jumping out of my skin to take my child-free holiday, I?m dreading the goodbye. But I?m determined to make the most of it without tarnishing it with guilt or sadness about leaving the kids.

Itchibubs: clothes for babies and toddlers with eczema

Parents of children who suffer from eczema will know only too well the scratching that occurs around the clock. A new clothing range aims to help make everyone more comfortable.

Ear piercing: what age is best?

What is it that shapes our opinions on what?s an 'appropriate' age for our children to get their ears pierced? Parents share their views on how young is too young when it comes to piercing.

Caring for kids helps grandmothers stay mentally alert

Looking after grandchildren can help grandmothers ward off brain disease - but it's also possible to get too much of a good thing, researchers say.

Why I loved my third home water birth

After two water births at home, I was determined to give birth to my son the same way. I just hoped this birth would be quicker than my last two.

Revealed: 7 ways food marketers try to trick consumers

If you?re confused by food labels, you?re not alone. Next time you?re shopping for food, look out for these seven common labelling tricks.

'My mother-in-law found out our baby's gender behind our backs'

My husband and I mutually decided that we didn?t want to know our baby's sex before the birth, but his mother couldn't handle that.

 

Free Printable Activities

Keeping little hands busy

Free printable acitivity pages like colouring in, cutting, word finders, mazes, maths activities and puzzles.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.