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When and who are you telling?


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31 replies to this topic

#1 Hoping2BaMummy

Posted 17 January 2013 - 08:51 PM

Just wondering who everyone was telling about their pregnancy and when?

TTC took awhile and some fs assistance for me, and so close family and a few friends know about our journey and that we were having some problems. I'm only about 4wks, but we're telling our parents and siblings bcos I figure I'd like support if anything goes wrong. There are a few friends I'd like to tell, but I'm not sure. I don't want work to know at all yet.

I'm so excited, and I want to share with people but I'm so scared too!!

#2 sleepyerin

Posted 17 January 2013 - 08:57 PM

Overall I try to keep it quiet early, but when thinking about telling someone, I ask myself if I would tell them if something bad happened, if the answer is yes, then I tell them. If I'm not sure, then I hold off. But it's quite a personal thing. I know people who tell everyone as soon as they have a bfp. Whereas I only told important people and then just waited until people figured it out (because I hate the fuss that comes with an announcement), but that is entirely just me.

I've only told a friend at work, no one I work with (it's a big organisation) and certainly not my boss. I won't tell my boss until after 12 weeks (last time I waited until about 15 weeks), because they don't need to know before then and they generally understand why you would wait.

It's nice to be able to share it with some people and it makes you feel excited all over again!

#3 FeralHez

Posted 17 January 2013 - 09:27 PM

I am pretty lousy with this kind of thing, have told mum and a close friend and asked them not to say anything. Dh is pretty "don't say anything til 12wks", which I will stick to definitely stick to when it comes to work and "general knowledge".

With DD I told work at 10weeks as I was put in an awkward position but I would rather not if I don't have to.

#4 Aspiring2BaGiraffe

Posted 17 January 2013 - 11:11 PM

We have told parents and siblings.  I have also told 2 close friends and a work mate who is also a friend.

I agree with PP that I have chosen people that I would feel comfortable telling and getting support from if something goes wrong.

I told my work mate because she has had 4 kids and we travel and present to large groups - so if I am sick over the next few weeks she will need to know why (she would guess anyway!) so that she can do the presentation by herself.

I plan on telling everyone else at 12 weeks.  It is very hard though!  Everyone knows that we were TTC straight away.  I have already had 2 people told me that I am glowing and another person suggest that my runny nose is pregnancy symptoms.  I just have to laugh it off!  Only 6w 4d until I can tell them that they were all right!

#5 5taci3

Posted 17 January 2013 - 11:51 PM

I have only told my bestfriend, and 1 other friend (left her place after visiting her sis in labour when home got BFP) I'm waiting till after dating scan before we tell family then 12 weeks before everyone else.

#6 bec_1108

Posted 18 January 2013 - 05:13 AM

I told my mum and best friend the day after my BFP. Mum had no idea we were even trying! I told my best friend because I wanted her OB details. The rest of our parents and siblings will probably be told this afternoon when I get my blood results (assuming it's all good). Everyone else will be at 12 weeks.

#7 Squick

Posted 18 January 2013 - 05:28 AM

We didn't tell a soul until after 12 weeks last time and we'll be doing the same this time. I didn't tell work til around 16 weeks! It seems to make the pregnancy go faster when I can just ignore it for the first couple of months and not have people asking me lots of questions and rubbing my belly. Plus I'm a pretty private person. Don't even think I'd tell my family if I had a miscarriage.

#8 In~Hiding

Posted 18 January 2013 - 12:51 PM

So far it's only DH and I, and one very close friend at work who knows.


We haven't even told our other children yet or our parents. We are going to wait til 12 weeks to say anything, and even then I am thinking of waiting till 14 weeks when I go away with several friends from work who will wonder why I am not drinking and partying!! My DH wishes we could hide it for 9 months and just surprise everyone with a baby!

I have the announcement all sorted in my head, because this will be a shock to many people I think. And I need to prepare myself for the not so happy responses, too!!


My closest friend from work I told, because we do go away together, and we do talk about all of things. And she is one of the very VERY few I had told about my miscarriage last September. She couldn't be happier, but also knows she is sworn to secrecy and I trust her with all my heart!

#9 Tiger-lily

Posted 18 January 2013 - 01:02 PM

Ive told my family and DH's family. I was staying at my parents when I found out so after I woke DH up I woke my mum up lol. A few close friends and my boss from work also because my job was pretty dangerous I resigned instead of risking anything.

#10 bakingagain

Posted 18 January 2013 - 01:57 PM

Every time i have gotten pregnant in the past. Pregnancy test images circulated the mobiles of my friends and family. This time ive only told my husband , my best friend who was there when i took the test and my father (Who has not been the most supportive, which is unfortunate because he is the only family member i really feel close to)



Im think after the 12 weeks scan. Maybe even after the 20 week. Or maybe after the birth ??? Ok not that far. But im currently in camp "secret"... Who knows how long that will last though.

#11 Hoping2BaMummy

Posted 19 January 2013 - 07:56 AM

Well I've told my parents, DH parents, and our siblings. There are a few close friends we're thinking about telling bcos there are things over the next few months that this will affect... Tricky situation sad.gif I want to hold out on work until about 16wks if I can. And I don't want big announcements either, just for it to slip into conversation is fine original.gif

#12 Lulu_R_S

Posted 19 January 2013 - 09:50 AM

I told a close friend and my mum. Will hold off telling everyone else til 12 weeks, though i have thought about telling my daughter sooner so she knows why I've been feeling sick and cant do some things such as Tae kwon do. My ex mil is a bit ott so will leave it up to the ex to tell her. We told her when i was 10 weeks last time then miscarried a week later and although she was fairly supportive she crossed the line calling the hospital and abusing them because my d and c had to be rebooked as i had a cold. I felt sorry for the poor hospital staff, like it was my fault she had a go at them, and like my privacy was violated too so dont want to go through that again

#13 Choufleur

Posted 19 January 2013 - 06:15 PM

We've told my mum and my brother.

I caved and told a girl at mothers' group the other day as I was dying to tell someone, and I also wanted to borrow some of her early maternity clothes for work.

We'll tell DH's family (they are overseas) and friends etc after the 12w scan, although at the rate I'm showing I fear people at work will figure it out earlier. I want to see the OB at 10 weeks before I cave in.

Oh and my original DIG all know original.gif

#14 Gambit la Feralé

Posted 19 January 2013 - 06:34 PM

The only people who know are me, hubby and one of my friends who has been my TTC sounding board and been through all of this.

I am going away with some friends for 3 days in 1 week and I suspect I won't be able to hide it as we usually have quite a few drinks and gossip. I don't know how that's going to go though because neither of them are anywhere near this stage in their lives and I think they may feel a little uncomfortable.  Guess we'll see.

Otherwise - we're not telling anyone until after 12week scan and everything is ok because I would HATE to have to untell my mother, she would be devastated. :-/

#15 Cadaw

Posted 23 January 2013 - 10:17 AM

Only DH and I know.  And the receptionist at the OB.

I will tell my children and family and work once I have had my 20week scan and seen the baby and know everything is OK.  Same plan as my last 2 and seemed to work well.

#16 bitingmynails

Posted 23 January 2013 - 11:09 AM

Currently, only DH and I, our OB and our GP know.

We aren't telling anyone else until after our first scan, which is next Thursday. I'll be 9 1/2 weeks. I might tell my best friend that weekend, but will probably hold out on telling our families until 12 weeks. I wish I could just tell my mum (so I can get some support from her - she's had 5 kids) but our family is terrible at keeping secrets.

The only reason being, if things go wrong, I prefer to handle them alone/internally.
PLUS my sister is getting married this weekend and I don't want to steal any of her limelight.

We have had SO many family gatherings in the last month, that I would not be surprised if there are whispers going on when I am not there, especially considering I'm a huge soft cheese and wine nut normally. Not drinking at the wedding is going to be a huge huge red flag to them.

I can't wait to do the big reveal though! This will be the first grandchild on both sides of the family so our parents are going to flip out.


#17 Let_it_Rain

Posted 23 January 2013 - 12:40 PM

I haven't told anyone yet.

I'll probably share with family around 20 weeks. I wont see them beforehand so it shouldn't be too hard.

With DS I told my Mum basically as soon as I knew and my family found out from her. DH's family we told his Dad at 20ish weeks because we saw him and the rest at 32ish, the same time we told them we were getting married  unsure.gif

#18 theweehaggis

Posted 23 January 2013 - 01:58 PM

So far only myself, DH and one close friend (and possibly her partner who also works with DH - he commrnted on my tummy last time we left theirs - i was just bloated thr cheeky g*t lol) ive not even been to the doc yet.. better make an appointment. last pregnancy i rushed out and had every appointment booked but it all ended too soon ... this ond i feel much more positive and relaxed about! I dont even know how far along i am, guessing 6-8weeks.

Ill tell my close friends at 14weeks - go out for lunch and surprise them.. two are new mums themselves. And the family are all os so will tell them when we feel ready.. probably 12-14weeks. lol. i dunno.. so tired and blugh feeling at the mo. lol

#19 mini-us

Posted 23 January 2013 - 04:45 PM

Hi

Hubby and GP knows, and the lady at the pathology who took my blood.

I will tell my parents on 6th of March - should be week 12 by then, and this is exactly in the middle between Mum's and Dad's birthday. They have to be told first - as they were the last to know that I got married :|  It's going to be the bad news good news routine, and they will have to do the work and tell everyone else over there the news.

After my parents are done we will tell hubby's mum, and his kids. Work as late as possible. I took a picture of my pregnancy test, which will go up on Facebook for friends.

Question: Is there somewhere an explanation of all those abbreviations that are used all the times? I'm pretty new to this and get confused with all those two letter words...

#20 Let_it_Rain

Posted 23 January 2013 - 04:53 PM

QUOTE (mini-us @ 23/01/2013, 05:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Question: Is there somewhere an explanation of all those abbreviations that are used all the times? I'm pretty new to this and get confused with all those two letter words...


Yep, there is a list here

#21 mini-us

Posted 23 January 2013 - 05:34 PM

QUOTE (WinterDancesHere @ 23/01/2013, 02:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yep, there is a list here


Thanks a lot!

#22 Meow meow

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:35 PM

It took me three PPT's to be convinced that I am pregnant and because I'm trying to process what it all means to me, I've decided not to tell anyone yet if I can help it. My sister took one look at my face and she knew, but I made her promise not to tell anyone including her husband.

I'm 5weeks at the moment I'll wait another month to tell my family and then tell my friends whenever it feels right. I'm definitely not doing a facebook thing unless my hormones make me do otherwise biggrin.gif, I think it will be hilarious just to post a picture of a baby in September and just sit back and enjoy the shock!

#23 RLF2617

Posted 25 January 2013 - 07:38 AM

So far only DH, my OB and GP know. The first time round I barely made it to 9 weeks before we told our immediate family - and I told my best friend and my twin brother as soon as I had the positive pregnancy test.

This time though.....I'm also in camp secret. Things have really taken off for me at work, so I'm going to try and keep it quiet until at least 16 weeks (though I will tell my boss at 12 weeks so he can plan for my leave). I don't think the family will be as excited this time....so I'm going to leave it as long as possible to tell them too. 20 weeks is my goal but who knows if I can keep my mouth shut that long!

#24 ScarfaceClaw

Posted 25 January 2013 - 07:49 AM

We are going to tell family in person early feb, when we are at home (they are in NZ)
Otherwise my DIG from DS and my IRL MG girls... we normally have monday afternoon wines, so abstaining is pretty much a neon light!

At work it's tricky to keep quiet, as I work in PICU, so deal with Xrays, and potentially bad drugs and illnesses on a day to day basis. So far I've had good patients, and I've been able to keep it a bit more quiet. Last time I had to tell work at 5 weeks due to a couple of severely ill babies with a virus known to cause miscarriage in 1st tri, and be fatal to babies infected with it.

Basically tho, if I'd tell you I had a miscarriage, I'll tell you I'm pregnant.



#25 Awkward Penguin

Posted 25 January 2013 - 08:38 AM

I've told my mum, sister and two of my friends. I'll wait till I get a scan around 12 weeks before I tell anyone else. I'm terrible with secrets though..  unsure.gif




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