Jump to content

Help! So exhausted! Baby wont sleep!


  • Please log in to reply
18 replies to this topic

#1 Shine_Bright

Posted 17 January 2013 - 05:02 PM

My little man is four weeks old and is happy just as long as someone is holding him.

He will fall asleep in my arms or on my chest but as soon as I try to transfer him he wakes up. Or if im lucky sometimes he will transfer and sleep for 40 minutes.

Im not getting anything done during the day and im getting no sleep at night, to say im exhausted is an understatement!

Some days he will sleep for up to 4 hours during the day but at night time im lucky if he will sleep for 2 hours.

Last night he was awake from 10-1am slept from 1-3am and then was awake from 3am-7am. During this time im changing his nappy, feeding him, burping him and letting him fall asleep by rocking or patting, singing, sushing and then trying to transfer him.

I have a two year old that gets up at 7am and sometimes has a nap.

Please help.

#2 Loz07

Posted 17 January 2013 - 05:50 PM

Can you use a sling during the day to help get things done while he is held/sleeping?
Plenty of sunlight / play during his awake time during the day to help with day/night confusion
Night time use anything you can to get him to sleep (including feed to sleep), he's too young to develop sleep associations yet, so just work on getting him to sleep first. Change nappy and burp between sides (if BF) so you don't wake him if sleepy after feeding.
Daytime is there someone who can babysit a bit so you can nap?

#3 Fright bat

Posted 17 January 2013 - 08:06 PM

Stop trying to transfer him.

The aim of the game until six months is to get sleep by any means necessary, whether that be sling, co-sleeping, whatever!

#4 roxy1981

Posted 17 January 2013 - 08:18 PM

My DS3 used to end up sleeping with me every morning from around 2am, i was too tired to try and transfer. If he sleeps with you I would just try and co-sleep. At least you would both be getting some sleep. It's so hard when you have a toddler to deal with the next day.

#5 erindiv

Posted 17 January 2013 - 08:23 PM

I always put my two into bed before they were asleep, even at that young age. I would then rock, pat, shush, whatever, until they were asleep. Then quietly leave. As they got older I would rock, pat, shush, whatever, until they were nearly asleep. Then even older, they would go to bed, a few pats, and I would leave.

#6 noodlebaby

Posted 17 January 2013 - 08:23 PM

Yup. Whatever works to get the baby to sleep. My baby used to sleep on me, so I propped myself upright with lots of pillows and she slept on me. Probably a big no no but it got us some sleep.

difference between night and day with lots of sunlight/natural light and very quiet/dark at night to start their cicadian rhythms going.

#7 raone

Posted 17 January 2013 - 08:34 PM

What does bub do if you put him down awake? This might not be any help but my DS gets distracted by me. If he does fall asleep with me when I put him down all hell breaks loose. But if I feed, burp, change and put him back down he will talk to himself until he goes to sleep.He has done this since about that age. If I kept checking him he would stay awake longer. Just in case anyone asks I only did this when he was okay. If he was distressed he obviously needed a burp, more food or had gas.

#8 Bunsen the feral

Posted 17 January 2013 - 08:44 PM

Are you wrapping him? Might be worth trying if you currently aren't - nice and snug somewhen you put him down he still feels held if you know what I mean.

#9 Princess.cranky.pants

Posted 17 January 2013 - 09:01 PM

That must be hard on you OP. Some will say just put up with it and try a sling. But we all have our limits and I have to say that I would be struggling with what your going though! And your 2 year old needs some one on one mummy time too which must be hard with a velcro baby.

How is he feeding (breast or bottle)? Could he have reflux? Are you wrapping? Is he having good weight gain and output? Have you seen child health for some tips on settling.

With getting so little sleep PND is a possibility so if your not feeling right seek some help.



#10 Suz01

Posted 17 January 2013 - 09:13 PM

I have just come out of that routine...

I agree at night do as erindiv says, at night put down awake but sleepy and I use a mobile. Could also try a radio softly playing for some white noise.  During the day get out as much as you can. I often got an extra few hrs with DS asleep in the capsule.

I invested in a Fisher price my little lamb swing. Its worth its weight in GOLD! It saves the nursing during the day.



I hope you get that much needed rest OP.

#11 deejie

Posted 17 January 2013 - 09:14 PM

It's completely understandable if you look at it from a baby's point of view. They have spent their entire existence encased in warmth, being rocked gently to sleep, listening to the reassuring sounds of their mother's heartbeat. Suddenly, everything is different. Sleeping on a firm, flat surface just doesn't compare does it?

This is the basis of the theory known as the "Fourth Trimester" (you can google it) which is basically the notion that the first 12 weeks outside the womb is a continuation on life inside it. It's a tough adjustment to the big wide world.

The easiest immediate solution is to invest in a good quality carrier. Wear your baby so he can sleep happily through the day and you can play with your older child and get things done around the house.

Or you can try wrapping if he is not already wrapped.

Is co-sleeping at night an option? At least that way you can lie down and get some rest, or swap settling duties with your other half for a couple of hours to give yourself a break.

The exhaustion is overwhelming and makes the day so hard. I hope things improve for you soon.

#12 José

Posted 18 January 2013 - 03:02 AM

OP I have written ur exact post not too long ago. I only have one child though so I don't know how ur managing wiith two!!. My DS is three months and things are just improving now. I believe the improve ment is due to changes in him as well as changes in what DH and I are doing. In the early days we had no success putting DS down sleepy but awake.  However now we can and he consistently self settles to sleep. Also we used to have him in our room but not any more. Im not exactly sure why it helps my guesses include that DH snores that DH wants the air con on too cold for baby etc. The other thing that helps is keeping play time really active to wear him  out. Day sleeps are syill not great for my DS but things un general are so much better. We were like you  holding DS all the time. Our bodies were dying from holding  him- he isnt light.  We also had a sleep consultant cone to our house. I hope things get bettet for you really soon. Lack of sleep is just so difficult.

#13 icekool

Posted 18 January 2013 - 05:41 AM

You poor thing!
I did all these things (carrying, rocker, bouncing etc) for DS1 and he ended up a terrible sleeper when he was older.

For DS2 and DD, I would feed, burp, change nappy (or either way around as both had reflux) and straight into the cot. Their  day sleeps in the cot too so they know they need to sleep when they are in there. I had a routine. I wrapped both of them, made sure they are warm or cool (depended on the weather). Yes, they cried when they were put in the cot, so I held them and when they stopped I put them down again and repeated until they learnt that they needed to sleep and I am there to comfort them when they are upset. I never used the patting or stroking the face as I already had DS1 when DS2 was a baby and DS1 and DS2 when DD was a baby. Moreover, I found whenever I told a toddler to be quiet, the louder they got!

One thing I did have which I think helped ALOT was this http://www.productreview.com.au/p/tomy-sta...-dreamshow.html

I ONLY switched it on when it was time to sleep. I used it for DS2 and DD. I still use it for DD who is 14 months old and I put her to bed (cot), switch it on and walk away. I didn't have it for DS1. By chance I discovered it (actually it was DH  wub.gif ). Every child is different and some things work with others. hope you get some sleep soon.

#14 bebe12

Posted 18 January 2013 - 06:48 AM

hi,

i was where you are only a couple of weeks ago. My DS had to be held to sleep. we used a sling and a fit ball to take the weight but still provide the rocking needed to get him to stay asleep and maintain it (ds was born weighing 4.2kg so big baby). With fit ball you can sit at computer or at other tables to help supervise your toddler or be sitting above them whilst they play on floor.

Ds has reflux and it took 4 weeks before meds really made a difference that was noticable he was picked up at 4 weeks which for some is early but as DD had extreme silent reflux they were happy to medicate before he got worse.

At 13 weeks i started putting him in cot and found it took 20-30 mins to get 40mins sleep. i was not up to doing this before now as had c/s and older child at school so had to wake him am and pm for school run.

I also use the manduca during the day when he needs sleep but i need to do jobs. its great as it has baby insert built in so no extra money for that part.

Ds was wrapped but at 11 weeks we started to use the love to dream swaddle as he was strong enough by then to undo swaddle wrap, but still like being wrapped. link just showing for picture of item.

http://compare.ebay.com.au/like/2512065670...dPriceItemTypes

Whenever you can try to get someone to take LO so you can sleep or take the toddler so only one to deal with. Try to get a neck shoulder and back massage to help you feel better and thereby sleep better to.

Good luck do what ever works. you are a great mum for doing what you have for so many weeks.

#15 MissButtercup

Posted 18 January 2013 - 03:54 PM

Firstly OP your doing an amazing job! I can relate completely - this was my DD#2 for the first 18 months of her life... yep a whole 18 months of sleep battles. I still don't know how we made it through.

First thing I would check is that bub is well and not in pain eg.. colic/reflux. How is bub feed, breast or bottle? Are you eating something that could be upsetting bubs tummy? Is the formula a bad fit for bub?
I found with DD#2 that she wasn't tolerating dairy (breastfeed) so I cut that from my diet which made things a little easier.

The only other thing that worked for DD was to teach her to settle herself - I did this with the help of my life saver, my mum. I wasn't strong enough to let her cry and pat her for ages so mum was my saint. Your bubs still very young though so I would just try puting bub down drowsy but not asleep and then pat if/when required. Do you have a family member/friend that could come help out? Maybe watch your children while you get some rest? I found I was no good to anyone being overtired and it just made caring for DD harder so I would strongly suggest trying to get some rest if you can.

There are some good suggestions here too ... Eg wrapping.

ETA - I'll have to go against the grain when it comes to just continuing doing what your doing - rocking, nursing, co-sleeping, etc... from experience I found that the longer you keep going with it the harder it is to break the habit as this becomes not only what bub knows but it's the habit that you fall into as well.

Edited by MissButtercup, 19 January 2013 - 01:04 AM.


#16 NunSoFeral

Posted 18 January 2013 - 04:05 PM

4 weeks is tough - what a blur.

I'm with AK - I would suggest stop trying to transfer.
I would wrap
Pop into bed the minute the tired signs started - shush, pat
Dark, cool room
If not bed, then a swing/papasan - I'm with Suz little lamb one worked very well for us.

Good luck OP - sleep deprivation is a form of torture.


Edited by gettheetoanunnery, 18 January 2013 - 04:07 PM.


#17 Red nut

Posted 18 January 2013 - 05:14 PM

For daytime, sling! I'm loving my hugabug, but I think they all do the same job. My 4 weeker was the same at night, fell asleep post feed, but woke as soon as I put him down. Then I tried putting him down not quite asleep, used the evil dummy, and patted him on the legs until he fell asleep. Still takes half an hour, but at least then he's down, and gives me a couple of hours. Repeat 3 times overnight, and there is enough to survive on at least.

#18 Red nut

Posted 18 January 2013 - 05:15 PM

Oh, and we love the love to swaddle up, DS always gets out of a normal swaddle and wakes himself up.

#19 axiomae

Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:21 PM

4 weeks is so tiny. Sling in the day, settle in cot at night. Work towards self settling with whatever method you choose when your LO is a bit older, maybe 12 weeks. Enjoy the little baby cuddles while you can - it really is such a small fleeting time and your tiredness will only be temporary. Good sleep habits can be established when you move out of the newborn phase. At the moment your LO needs to be kept close and loved original.gif




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Win a Mountain Buggy Swift

To celebrate Essential Baby reaching half a million Facebook fans, we have a Mountain Buggy Swift to giveaway to a lucky fan.

Shopping with kids: breaking the pester-power cycle

You're out shopping with your little one and they're incessantly whining that they want a treat. It's easy to say no ... the first time, at least.

eBay jacket may hold clue to murdered girl's identity

A jacket similar to the one found with the remains of a brutally murdered little girl in South Australia has been identified on eBay.

New mum forced back to work early due to paid parental leave 'technicality'

Shelley Parker had to keep driving buses until the date her baby was due and will have to rush back to work at the end of this week after being denied paid parental leave on a "technicality".

Pregnant Amanda Palmer poses naked for book drive

It has to be the most original way ever of promoting a children's book donation day.

The conception dilemma facing many parents today

Some parents who conceived through a sperm donor will be wary of telling the child, while others prefer to deal with it early on. But recent research suggests it makes little difference either way.

The wedding photo the bridesmaid would rather forget

We've probably all seen a passed-out bridesmaid at one wedding or another, but it usually happens towards the end of the night.

Pregnant TV meteorologist takes on haters

Pregnant TV meteorologist Katie Fehlinger has hit back at haters who called her a "sausage in casing".

Honest words from first-time mums

I didn't want to say anything negative to my pregnant friend, but I wish I'd been more honest.

Adorable baby experiences rain for the first time, couldn't be happier

Harper had seen rain from the comfort of indoors before, but had never had the pleasure of being outside and experiencing it first hand.

What it's really like to start a family in your fifties

Many people suppose that it must be much more tiring to have a baby in middle age, but all the mothers in the playground look exhausted, whatever their age.

'Biggest hypocrite ever': Josh Duggar admits to Ashley Madison account

An American reality TV star has been busted with a cheating website account, according to US media.

Long recovery ahead for girl hit by car weeks after baby brother's death

A little girl is more alert and starting to talk after being hit by a car a week ago, but still faces a long recovery.

How to react when a toddler lies

Q: My almost-3-year-old is starting to figure out that he can lie when asked if he ripped the book, threw the food, hit his brother, etc. Totally normal, I know. How do we respond?

The circular experience of a Centrelink client

A mum-to-be experiences the frustration of dealing with Centrelink, myGov and everything in between.

Kelly Clarkson announces live on stage: 'I'm pregnant!'

Singer Kelly Clarkson has announced she is pregnant with her second child during a concert in Los Angeles.

Hack

How to search the leaked Ashley Madison data

At least three sites are republishing Ashley Madison's user data on the public-facing internet.

Mum dances her way through labour

There are a fair few ways to distract yourself and beat pains while in labour, but it's probably a rare woman who chooses her dance her way through it.

'Rest in peace, my little lion': premmie baby Jacob passes away

Baby Jacob, whose photo of him born at just 27 weeks was deemed 'too graphic' for a fundraising site, has died.

Mum killed three young sons 'to help her daughter', prosecutor says

Niall Pilkington's death last summer apparently raised little alarm in Bellefontaine, Ohio. Tragic accidents happen, after all.

Shorter women have shorter pregnancies: study

When a group of researchers studied nearly 3500 mothers and their babies, they noticed a curious pattern.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The worst 20 minutes of my life

Thirty seconds was all it took to turn a shopping trip into my worst nightmare.

Top baby names for England and Wales in 2014

George has overtaken William in the official rankings of most popular British baby names - and Game of Thrones is still having an impact on parents.

Baseball or baby? Dad's tough choice

What's more important, a baby or a baseball? That's a question this dad seems to struggle with.

Childbirth choices: five star or free?

It's not often you hear the words labour and luxury in the same sentence but for some, a 5-star start to parenthood is exactly what they seek. And with a number of private hospitals now offering packages which include a post-birth stay at a sumptuous first class resort, many mums are choosing to recover in style.

'Where did your boobies go, Mummy?' and other soul-destroying comments from kids

Most women carry a smidge of baby weight after giving birth. If you're lucky enough to have an older child in the house, they can keep you on track with your weight loss goals.

Do you read me, baby?

Is it too soon to be reading to my two-month-old son? If not, what should I read?

Minimising sibling rivalry when you've got a baby

Sibling rivalry is an act of competition, but if your children feel involved and special, this type of jealousy will be minimised.

Will studying on maternity leave take you away from your most important job?

I remember when I was trying to decide if I could combine motherhood and furthering my university education.

Win a Pacapod this Father's Day

To celebrate dads and families, we are giving away a Picos Pack from Pacapod Australia filled with a few extra goodies ENTER NOW

Preschooler hit by car shortly after baby brother's death

A mother has had a frantic race to the hospital after her daughter was hit by a car, just four weeks after her infant son died.

Gay couple and Thai surrogate in custody tug-of-war

A six-month-old baby girl is trapped in the Thai capital in a bitter custody wrangle between her Thai surrogate mother and her biological father.

Couple denied IVF over parenting concerns

A mother of six has been denied access to IVF treatment in order to have another child over concerns about her parenting skills.

The book that promises to put your children to sleep

Exhausted parents from around the world are singing the praises of a "miracle" book which promises to put even the most restless child to sleep in just minutes.

5 things every parent who feels guilty needs to know

Parenthood can make you feel bad, but you're not alone.

Royals criticise 'dangerous' attempts to photograph Prince George

The British royal family criticized paparazzi on Friday for what it called their increasingly dangerous attempts to photograph young Prince George.

'No jab, no play' rule to cover Victorian kindergartens and childcare centres

"Anti-vaxxers" face not being able to send their children to childcare centres or kindergarten if they refuse to have them immunised.

15,000 birthing kits on their way to developing countries

Giving birth in a hospital surrounded by medical experts is tough enough, but some women deliver babies without a clean sheet to lie on.

Photo of premmie 'too graphic', fundraising site says

When their son Jacob was born at just 27 weeks, Christina and Jeff Hinks were thrown into an uncertain world.

The latest Bugaboo collections: cool chevron and runner prams

Bugaboo sure likes to keep things fresh, and with the Australian spring/summer season coming up, there are two new Bugaboo pram releases.

Making room for two in the bed

Mum's room or their own room? Cot or bassinets? Deciding where twins will sleep can be tricky.

 

FREE TICKET

See Hi-5 LIVE in Sydney!

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.