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Going from liking to disliking someone
Over a single, minor incident


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39 replies to this topic

#1 Guest_AllegraM_*

Posted 17 January 2013 - 03:01 PM

I was driving home the other day and a near neighbour of mine was driving ahead of me. He wound down his window and chucked out a soft drink bottle onto the side of the road. I went from liking him to instantly disliking him.

DH thinks I am being OTT over such a small thing but I am not so sure. I will continue to be neighbourly to him but I just don't like him anymore. I can't help it.

I usually see the best in people and am pretty tolerant of human failings, having many myself. I just can't see any fair reason or life stress that would make you deliberately litter like that. It was grossly disrespectful to our community.

So is my reaction reasonable, given that this fellow has never done anything to cause me to dislike him before?

#2 Maple Leaf

Posted 17 January 2013 - 03:03 PM

I would be the same. Perhaps we are too picky?

#3 NATPR

Posted 17 January 2013 - 03:03 PM

I think it would take the edge off...its pretty poor form to throw plastic from the car these days and it would definately put me off.

#4 EsmeLennox

Posted 17 January 2013 - 03:03 PM

I would have the same reaction.

#5 CountryFeral

Posted 17 January 2013 - 03:06 PM

Oh dear..  I hate it when that happens.

I used to live in a tiny town, I was often chastised for 'not coming out' - the truth was whenever I did go out (there was only the pub) I would hear things out of the alcohol loosened mouths of fellows that made it hard to keep liking them.... It was better for me to live in ignorance I felt!

#6 Canberra Chick

Posted 17 January 2013 - 03:08 PM

I would have the same reaction.

#7 sarkazm76

Posted 17 January 2013 - 03:08 PM

That would instantly change my opinion of someone.  I'd also go pick up the bottle and throw it into his front yard biggrin.gif


#8 Genabee

Posted 17 January 2013 - 03:12 PM

I get it. I figure if they are doing something small like that, that does not sit in alignment with your core beliefs/values/attitudes, chances are you won't see eye to eye on the bigger, arguably more 'important' stuff....



#9 caitiri

Posted 17 January 2013 - 03:14 PM

It wouldn't make me dislike someone but I would say something about it to them.

My friends do things I don't like,  I still like them.

Having said that I'm sure there are some things I would find unforgivable.

#10 Magnus

Posted 17 January 2013 - 03:16 PM

Yeah, it would make me dislike them. I'm pretty fickle, though, and fairly judgmental.

#11 kitkatswing

Posted 17 January 2013 - 03:19 PM

Dob em in..

http://www.epa.vic.gov.au/reportlitter

#12 JustBeige

Posted 17 January 2013 - 03:26 PM

Dislike? No.

Think less of and want to put some distance between us? Absolutely.

I would still be polite but not overly warm.


Having said that we have neighbouur friends that we are really good friends with and if I saw them do that,  I would probably give them a bit of a mouthful next time I saw them.  Or hand them an empty plastic bottle and tell them they dropped it the other day.

#13 Rolex

Posted 17 January 2013 - 03:26 PM

I'd be the same!  My opinion of a neighbour changed when he pushed in in traffic.  Main road just out of our estate in peak hour, leading up to a roundabout, where the left lane is pretty empty because 95% of traffic needs the right lane for freeway access.  He flew up the left lane and pushed in right at the roundabout.  He's a local - he knows the road  huh.gif   Pushy drivers who think their time is more precious than everyone else's really tick me off.

ETA I was still neighbourly and friendly, just saw him slightly differently!

Edited by Rolex, 17 January 2013 - 03:28 PM.


#14 Rachaelxxx

Posted 17 January 2013 - 03:56 PM

Not good is it, who throws bottles out of cars these days  sad.gif

#15 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 17 January 2013 - 03:58 PM

Don't know that it would automatically push me from 'like' to 'dislike' but I wouldn't like him/her as much as I used to. It would lower my regard for them, that's for sure.  It doesn't take much to put rubbish in a bin, so it makes them look like a lazy thoughtless sod.  But not necessarily a mean/bad person.

#16 Kay1

Posted 17 January 2013 - 04:03 PM

It would certainly make me lose respect for them and I find it hard to be friends with people I don't respect. Not sure I'd actually dislike them though.

#17 boatiebabe

Posted 17 January 2013 - 04:06 PM

That's a low life thing to do!

It would completely change the way I felt about someone too.

I would have picked up the bottle and taken it to their house and tell them they dropped it out of the window though - I don't mind confrontation...

I don't think I could find much common ground with someone who would litter quite so blatantly - the act really tells you something about their character.

#18 Lyra

Posted 17 January 2013 - 04:10 PM

Yeah, I get where you are coming from. One of my book group friends parked in a disabled space while she got some money from an ATM. With me in the car. After I told her how painful it was for people with disabilities to find places and that 'just a couple of minutes' is really really irritating

I got out of the car on principle and she thought I was being OTT

sigh

#19 ~sydblue~

Posted 17 January 2013 - 04:10 PM

If something like that instantly changed your mind about someone, then you probably didn't really like them as much as you thought you did in the first place.

I wouldn't be happy about it and would say something to said neighbour. But as for hating them over it, there are other more life changing things to hate people over.

#20 noi'mnot

Posted 17 January 2013 - 04:12 PM

That would absolutely lower them in my regard, and I'd be reluctant to have much more to do with them (apart from neighbourly civilities, of course).

#21 Guest_AllegraM_*

Posted 17 January 2013 - 04:12 PM

QUOTE (boatiebabe @ 17/01/2013, 04:06 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
That's a low life thing to do!

It would completely change the way I felt about someone too.

I would have picked up the bottle and taken it to their house and tell them they dropped it out of the window though - I don't mind confrontation...

I don't think I could find much common ground with someone who would litter quite so blatantly - the act really tells you something about their character.


I think I was especially annoyed because I know I should have told him to pull his socks up but as I am a partcularly cowardly non-confrontationalist type, I just stewed over it instead.

#22 unicorn

Posted 17 January 2013 - 04:17 PM

QUOTE (Rachaelxxx @ 17/01/2013, 04:56 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Not good is it, who throws bottles out of cars these days  sad.gif

Our tenants, I had a go a them about the rubbish they kept throwing out the windows and leaving along our (shared) driveway, they looked at me like I had two heads and couldn't see the problem with it.

#23 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 17 January 2013 - 04:19 PM

I think it is normal to lose respect for people especially once they've had a "fall from grace" moment like that.

#24 FeralProudSwahili

Posted 17 January 2013 - 04:28 PM

Yeah, I'd have a similar reaction.

#25 censura carnero

Posted 17 January 2013 - 05:11 PM

QUOTE (Magnus @ 17/01/2013, 03:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yeah, it would make me dislike them. I'm pretty fickle, though, and fairly judgmental.


Me too.  But I would get over it with time. Maybe  closedeyes.gif





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