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Getting rid of a dummy

7 replies to this topic

#1 indigogirl

Posted 17 January 2013 - 07:48 AM

How important is it to get rid of a dummy as a sleep aid?

My 7 month old really loves it and only uses it in his cot. He settles down straight away. But we are now (predictably!) having some trouble with him not being able to self settle.

Because he rolls so much in the night the dummy falls out and he cant get it back in, wakes up crying until its replaced and so on. Some nights no problem but others Ive had to get up a few times. He's always been a fantastic sleeper, sleeping through most nights from 3 weeks so its a very different pattern. Daysleeps are also impacted so hes often only getting that one 40 minute cycle as he is unable to self settle.

I feel like I should be trying to get rid of it.....but I'm really lacking motivation! I'm very tired, mostly due to the issues with my 3 year olds sleep battles. Popping a dummy in just seems so easy in comparison.

Did anyone regret NOT getting rid of the dummy? Is it better to just deal with it now rather than later?

Or ok to let him keep it. Do they learn to get it themselves? Is that something I can help him learn?

I'm usually good at just trusting my instincts and going with what works but on this I feel so wishy washy! Cant seem to make up my mind so any ideas, thoughts appreciated!


#2 JoMarch

Posted 17 January 2013 - 03:23 PM

Hi there,

Can't answer all your questions, but we are currently breaking the dummy habit with our almost 6 month old, so I'll share my experiences.

I decided it was time for the dummy to go as 1) DS's night waking has become more frequent in the past month or so (he's never slept through, but for a good couple of months was only waking once for a quick feed-so quite managable) and 2) his day sleeps became shorter (usually just 1 cycle) as he was relying on the dummy to get back to sleep.  3) He started wanting to sleep in my lap-falling asleep at the boob (hes always had a great need to comfort suck).

We have had good success dropping the dummy at night, as we have developed a good bed time routine, so he goes down easily & self settles.  So I've just started settling him for naps in the day without the dummy this week & its been a bit tough.  The first day there was a lot of crying, and I ended up letting him settle in my arms, putting him to bed just as he was drifting off to sleep.  Today is day 4 and hes gone down for his 2 naps with a few mins of grizzling, then off to sleep-yay!  I don't do controlled crying or any of those, I have been staying in the room and singing/patting/shushing/picking him up if need be...I think a couple more days and it should be a lot easier.      

I recommend Elizabeth Pantley's book "the no cry sleep solution", she has some good tips for breaking the "sucking to sleep" association.  Although, to be honest, I think there will always be *some* crying, when changing things with a baby.  Especially when it gives them so much comfort.

If you decided to go the other way & let him keep it, could you put several dummies in the cot to make it easier for him to find 1?  He will eventually give it up himself, but I guess it could be a while.  Are you OK with that?  I tossed up doing this with DS, but decided to just wean him off it now (but then, I only have 1 child at the moment, so I have the time to invest in it...).  

I'll be interested to know how you go/what you decide.  Good luck!

#3 indigogirl

Posted 17 January 2013 - 05:56 PM

Thanks **Lucy** for responding!

The silly thing is that I have successfully stopped using a dummy with my first child when he was 6 months so I'm annoyed to be so indecisive! It wasnt even too bad! But I think having done it before makes me feel like I "should" do it again rather than feel confident that its the right thing for us now.

I also think my tiredness and lack of energy is probably the biggest demotivating factor.

I would love to read No Cry Sleep Solution for some ideas and motivation but my library doesnt have it and I cant afford it right now.

Any chance of some point form tips on breaking the suck/sleep connection? Might be way too hard to do that in which case I'll start saving!

Thanks and good luck to you!

#4 mollybot

Posted 17 January 2013 - 06:02 PM

Just take it away and cope with it for a couple of days !!!!! A good bedtime routine really helps...

I say this,because with #1 we had this until he was 3 !!! Getting up 3 or 4 times a night to give him back his dummy !!!

Just take it away and be extra sooky when you put him down. Pat or shush, then wait a bit, then pat or shush again as needed. Do It Now !!

#5 indigogirl

Posted 17 January 2013 - 06:05 PM

Haha thanks Mollybot thats a good motivational speech! That really is my big fear in not doing it now.....so think I'll pick a day in the very near future to gear up and just do it

#6 Dionysus

Posted 17 January 2013 - 06:12 PM

DD has just given up her dummy - at 3 and a half!   LOL

She has been an excellent sleeper since about 12 months (when she dropped to one day nap), but usually went to bed with several (maybe 6!) dummies, including glow in the dark ones

I went back to work at 4 months, so we did whatever worked for both DH and I to get a good night's sleep.

Last easter (she would have been a few months shy of turning 3) we tried to get rid of the dummy.  NIghts were fine, but day naps disappeared.  I wasn't ready for that, so gave dummies back.

Now, she is fully capable of missing a day nap and not being completely unmanageable, so we did the dummy fairy again.  This time, it was as easy as anything and she has kept up the naps most days.

I am not advocating to keep dummies until they are 3, but just saying that when she was ready it was really easy.

#7 erindiv

Posted 17 January 2013 - 06:26 PM

My 1 year old still has his, but only at sleep time. If he does lose it, though, which he usually does, he doesn't mind too much. I will be trying to take it away as soon as he gets teeth.

#8 JoMarch

Posted 18 January 2013 - 10:14 AM

Hi indigogirl,

Tried to send you a PM about the "no cry sleep solution", but don't think it went through.  I'll try again later today.

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