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Sharing info with DH/DP *spin off*


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#1 asdf89

Posted 16 January 2013 - 09:59 PM

Following on from a comment made on a previous topic... How much do you share with your DP/DH/DF?
I know my partner's passwords for email/Facebook/net banking- not so I can monitor him or anything, but so I can help him out by transferring money/paying bills/checking flights etc when he doesn't have access to a computer. He also knows all of mine, but hasn't had to use them as much so forgets them.
I also share all my medical issues with him (breakthrough bleeding/UTIs) to the point that I think he knows more about female body functions than most of my female friends haha.
I also share news/gossip with him (even though according to some on the other post this isn't right). Mainly because I know he will never tell anyone, and sometimes you just need someone to discuss/react to things with.
So I was wondering... Is this normal (I'm not really worried if we aren't). How much do you share with your other half? Is there anything you don't share with them?

Edited by asdf89, 16 January 2013 - 10:01 PM.


#2 ubermum

Posted 16 January 2013 - 10:01 PM

I share everything. If I see his eyes start to glaze over, I know I am just boring him.


#3 asdf89

Posted 16 January 2013 - 10:06 PM

QUOTE (ubermum @ 16/01/2013, 11:01 PM)
15244669[/url]']
I share everything. If I see his eyes start to glaze over, I know I am just boring him.


Haha yep! On the phone when he starts just saying 'yep...... Yeah........yep' I know I've either bored him stupid or he's reading something/watching tv.

#4 Justaduck

Posted 16 January 2013 - 10:08 PM

I share pretty much everything with him. We have a very open relationship.
We know each others passwords (but only use them when necessary with permission...ie if DP is at work and wants to put on FB asking if anyone wants to hang out that night, then I will put that on for him...I am also the money person so if I need to transfer things around etc), so much like you OP.
DP also knows about my medical history (extensive) but he may need to one day if something arises. I seem to be prone to kidney infections so if I say I have a sore lower back etc he mentions it could be that. I also know his medical history. He has just started back on Ritalin (this morning) so I need to keep a close eye on him to make sure he doesn't suffer any of the bad side effects from it. He may not even realise if he is.
I tell him things, unless I have been told not to.

Only things I don't share with him, or hide from him are things that are to be a surprise for him. Ie I will 'block' him from seeing a fb post if I am asking for what people think about it

#5 cheekymonkeysmum

Posted 16 January 2013 - 10:11 PM

Yep we share everything to we are very open I just can't keep anything from him as he knows me to well and knows when I am keeping something from him same with me I know when he is keeping something from me.

#6 cheekymonkeysmum

Posted 16 January 2013 - 10:11 PM

Double post**.

Edited by cheekymonkeysmum, 16 January 2013 - 10:24 PM.


#7 asdf89

Posted 16 January 2013 - 10:22 PM

QUOTE (Ferdinand @ 16/01/2013, 11:11 PM)
15244697[/url]']
I share none of that stuff with my partner. There is no need.

Why on earth would you tell him you have a UTI? There is such a thing as over sharing.


Why wouldn't I tell him? He would be aware that im not feeling well and I always end up on antibiotics when I get one, so I would need to explain to him the sudden need to use condoms anyway. Not telling him would be irresponsible.

#8 bakesferalgirls

Posted 16 January 2013 - 10:32 PM

I tell my husband everything. We know each others passwords and pin numbers. I tell him gossip I've heard, he tells me too. He can tell me anything and I will never tell a soul if he doesn't want me to. I can tell him anything too, and he would never tell anyone.

He knows all of my medical problems, I have ulcerative colitis, he even knows when it is flaring up and I have started bleeding. He knows about any breakthrough bleeding I have between periods. There is nothing I can think of that I keep from him. I don't see the need to. We are partners in life and all that it entails.

EFS

Edited by bakesgirls, 16 January 2013 - 10:36 PM.


#9 stephanu

Posted 16 January 2013 - 10:33 PM

Yeah we tell each other everything. Mainly because we love to talk to each other. There is nothing I can think of that I wouldn't tell him and I'm pretty sure he feels the same. We tell each other gross medical stuff too. He knows so many things about me that absolutely no one else knows and vice versa.

All our emails and facebooks have the password saved so we can auto login, so I guess we have access to each others accounts. His are usually open on the main computer and I will often check his Facebook instead of mine because we share most of our friends and likes and I couldn't be bothered logging out. He does the same if mine is open.

Eta- we know each others pin numbers because it's a linked account anyway and I always forget my wallet.  rolleyes.gif

Edited by stephanu, 16 January 2013 - 10:36 PM.


#10 Feralishous

Posted 16 January 2013 - 10:48 PM

we share everything. This is the man who changed my pads, emptied my catheter bags and showered me, after watching me push a baby out of my vagina. No secrets here.

#11 i-candi

Posted 16 January 2013 - 11:00 PM

QUOTE (Ferdinand @ 16/01/2013, 11:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I share none of that stuff with my partner. There is no need.

Why on earth would you tell him you have a UTI? There is such a thing as over sharing.



ummmm because we have sex daily (even twice daily) on average when he is home. He would kind of notice when I don't want sex????

Whilst we don't know passwords etc if needed DH would ask me to log in and give me his passwords so I can complete his transactions for net banking. Although this is rare.



DH tells me things, I tell him things. It's just what you do when partnered.

#12 Feral Grey Mare

Posted 16 January 2013 - 11:13 PM

We have the same PIN so that is not an issue. DH is completely computer illiterate so I do all the on-line stuff. Personal or medical things? I tell him as little as possible because he just cannot keep his mouth shut and our personal business would be the talk of the pub within a nano-second.

#13 ~Supernova~

Posted 17 January 2013 - 04:27 AM

QUOTE (trishalishous @ 16/01/2013, 11:48 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
we share everything. This is the man who changed my pads, emptied my catheter bags and showered me, after watching me push a baby out of my vagina. No secrets here.



This! Except he was IN the birthing pool with me. That was just delightful to think about after LOL. But yeah, no secrets here either.

#14 Carmen02

Posted 17 January 2013 - 04:54 AM

we share everything! no secrets here! We have been through so much together we share everything together

#15 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 17 January 2013 - 08:08 AM

I don't know DH's pin numbers for his bank accounts, he doesn't know mine.  In 15 years, this hasn't ever been an issue.  Then again, our main bank account (where out pays go) is a joint account, so not a lot of secrecy there. Online, I can see his accounts and he can see mine. Our individuals accounts have small balances and we know what's going on with each other wrt to them.  

I definitely tell DH a lot.  We both offload about work stuff and family stuff.  I keep DH up to date about what's going on with our friends and family (also known as gossiping, I suppose).  DH isn't interested in hearing trivial gossip, so it's pretty obvious when he shuts off listening.  He tells me what's going on with his mates, but he does have the memory of a goldfish sometimes.  He can talk with his mother and then remember a week later that he needed to tell me a, b and c.  That's just him though.

I don't feel the need to tell DH everything that I think or feel.  Or everything that is told to me either.  I assume he does the same.  But I do like the fact that I could, if I wanted to.  That's why we're together.

QUOTE (Ferdinand @ 16/01/2013, 10:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Why on earth would you tell him you have a UTI? There is such a thing as over sharing.

Edited, because a UTI is not the same as an IUD (have no idea why I got that mixed up, LOL!  roll2.gif )

Would I tell DH if I had a UTI?  Probably, because it would most likely mean that I was on antibiotics and DH would notice that.  Plus, he'd notice it if I started going to the toilet every 5 minutes and was feeling crook.  He'd ask what was wrong without me having to bring it to his attention.  He's seen a lot worse when I was pregnant, giving birth, so a UTI is nothing.

Edited by YodaTheWrinkledOne, 17 January 2013 - 10:28 AM.


#16 lactasticmama

Posted 17 January 2013 - 08:47 AM

We share anything & everything also. He is my husband/best friend/soul mate etc, so why not.

#17 lafonda

Posted 17 January 2013 - 08:52 AM

I tell DH everything. And I mean everything.

#18 .Jerry.

Posted 17 January 2013 - 08:55 AM

If I am told something in confidence, I keep my promise.  I don't tell my partner.  If I do, then I have not kept that secret.

I don't know his passwords and PINs, but I could have a good guess at them if I wanted to.  Thing is, I have no need or desire to know them.

I don't tell him much work stuff as it would be unprofessional of me to do so, apart from general whinges.

I have no interest in being any "closer" to him in terms of what I share.  We share interests and conversation.  We share also what needs to be shared.



#19 Cat People

Posted 17 January 2013 - 09:05 AM

I kind of get a bit angst at the implication open, strong, loving "soul mate" relationships = telling partner everything.

I consider myself a loyal person.  As such, I would NOT tell my partner gossip or secrets someone else has told me to keep to myself.  That does not mean my husband and I don't have an "open" relationship, or I'm keeping secrets from him.

I tell dh most things but I won't tell him other people's business unless he needs to know.  I don't tell him about all my minor medical conditions either, and certainly not in graphic details. (eg he has no idea about my hemorrhoids post birth).

I felt quite sorry for single people with only married/partnered friends in that other thread.  They would have no-one to confide in without it going further.  I like my friends' partners, but I would not be telling them my private business, so I see no reason for you to either.

#20 BadCat

Posted 17 January 2013 - 09:10 AM

Stuff to do with our life I share.  He knows where to find my bank account info (and his, I look after all the banking and finance).  He knows when I'm sick.  I don't deliberately keep anything much from him but I don't feel the need to blurt out everything either.

The only things I deliberately keep from him are things about other people that he has no business knowing.

And he doesn't know certain things from my childhood because I never speak of them to anyone.

#21 SophieBear

Posted 17 January 2013 - 09:15 AM

I share everything with DH.

He knows everything I know and he knows every ailment, mostly because I whinge.

I know everything that he remembers to tell me.

DH knows so much he knows how I have issues going to the loo and will ask how everything is going.. now that is over sharing!

#22 MrsLexiK

Posted 17 January 2013 - 09:15 AM

I tell him most things, I don't think I have ever been told something where I was asked to not tell my DH anyway.  Well maybe from my SIL but then her DH was telling my DH at the same time she was telling me.  

I log into DH's account a fair bit, moreso when I was doing his book keeping for him now it is more direct debits I have set up so it is only if he needs a balance check,  he has the ability to log into mine but doesn't remember the passwords.  Due to the way our accounts are set up and how we get paid we sometimes take each others cards. One of the accoutns which is in my name is the account our mortgage comes from and the account our stuff for the house spending (ie: pool stuff, garden stuff) I have literally been too lazy to get his own card so he just takes mine.  When I go in and change the name on my cards I will also ask for a card for DH for both of the CC's in my name and also the account which really should have been set up as a joint account.  

He has email and facebook but I know everything and I am the one that reads it to him as he would be lost.  He doesn't know my log ins but would be able to pick up my phone and tap the icon and have access to all my accounts.

#23 baddmammajamma

Posted 17 January 2013 - 09:26 AM

QUOTE (.Jerry. @ 17/01/2013, 09:55 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If I am told something in confidence, I keep my promise.  I don't tell my partner.  If I do, then I have not kept that secret.


QUOTE (Madame Catty @ 17/01/2013, 10:05 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I consider myself a loyal person.  As such, I would NOT tell my partner gossip or secrets someone else has told me to keep to myself.  That does not mean my husband and I don't have an "open" relationship, or I'm keeping secrets from him.


QUOTE (BadCat @ 17/01/2013, 10:10 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The only things I deliberately keep from him are things about other people that he has no business knowing.


All of these.

When a friend confides in me and says, "Please don't tell ANYONE," that "anyone" includes my husband. We are partners in life, but he is not an extension of me. It would be breaking a trust if I were to share someone else's secret, when I've promised not to tell anyone.

#24 baddmammajamma

Posted 17 January 2013 - 09:41 AM

Grrrr...weird EB double post thingy going on.....

Edited by baddmammajamma, 17 January 2013 - 09:42 AM.


#25 Chief Pancake Make

Posted 17 January 2013 - 09:54 AM

We have just been through preganancy and childbirth - there is not much that hasnt been shared.

Early on in the relationship I did have a very serious discussion after he shared something very personal with his mother.  What happens in the marriage stays in the marriage.




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