Jump to content

Sharing info with DH/DP *spin off*


  • Please log in to reply
38 replies to this topic

#1 asdf89

Posted 16 January 2013 - 09:59 PM

Following on from a comment made on a previous topic... How much do you share with your DP/DH/DF?
I know my partner's passwords for email/Facebook/net banking- not so I can monitor him or anything, but so I can help him out by transferring money/paying bills/checking flights etc when he doesn't have access to a computer. He also knows all of mine, but hasn't had to use them as much so forgets them.
I also share all my medical issues with him (breakthrough bleeding/UTIs) to the point that I think he knows more about female body functions than most of my female friends haha.
I also share news/gossip with him (even though according to some on the other post this isn't right). Mainly because I know he will never tell anyone, and sometimes you just need someone to discuss/react to things with.
So I was wondering... Is this normal (I'm not really worried if we aren't). How much do you share with your other half? Is there anything you don't share with them?

Edited by asdf89, 16 January 2013 - 10:01 PM.


#2 ubermum

Posted 16 January 2013 - 10:01 PM

I share everything. If I see his eyes start to glaze over, I know I am just boring him.


#3 asdf89

Posted 16 January 2013 - 10:06 PM

QUOTE (ubermum @ 16/01/2013, 11:01 PM)
15244669[/url]']
I share everything. If I see his eyes start to glaze over, I know I am just boring him.


Haha yep! On the phone when he starts just saying 'yep...... Yeah........yep' I know I've either bored him stupid or he's reading something/watching tv.

#4 Justaduck

Posted 16 January 2013 - 10:08 PM

I share pretty much everything with him. We have a very open relationship.
We know each others passwords (but only use them when necessary with permission...ie if DP is at work and wants to put on FB asking if anyone wants to hang out that night, then I will put that on for him...I am also the money person so if I need to transfer things around etc), so much like you OP.
DP also knows about my medical history (extensive) but he may need to one day if something arises. I seem to be prone to kidney infections so if I say I have a sore lower back etc he mentions it could be that. I also know his medical history. He has just started back on Ritalin (this morning) so I need to keep a close eye on him to make sure he doesn't suffer any of the bad side effects from it. He may not even realise if he is.
I tell him things, unless I have been told not to.

Only things I don't share with him, or hide from him are things that are to be a surprise for him. Ie I will 'block' him from seeing a fb post if I am asking for what people think about it

#5 cheekymonkeysmum

Posted 16 January 2013 - 10:11 PM

Yep we share everything to we are very open I just can't keep anything from him as he knows me to well and knows when I am keeping something from him same with me I know when he is keeping something from me.

#6 cheekymonkeysmum

Posted 16 January 2013 - 10:11 PM

Double post**.

Edited by cheekymonkeysmum, 16 January 2013 - 10:24 PM.


#7 asdf89

Posted 16 January 2013 - 10:22 PM

QUOTE (Ferdinand @ 16/01/2013, 11:11 PM)
15244697[/url]']
I share none of that stuff with my partner. There is no need.

Why on earth would you tell him you have a UTI? There is such a thing as over sharing.


Why wouldn't I tell him? He would be aware that im not feeling well and I always end up on antibiotics when I get one, so I would need to explain to him the sudden need to use condoms anyway. Not telling him would be irresponsible.

#8 bakesgirls

Posted 16 January 2013 - 10:32 PM

I tell my husband everything. We know each others passwords and pin numbers. I tell him gossip I've heard, he tells me too. He can tell me anything and I will never tell a soul if he doesn't want me to. I can tell him anything too, and he would never tell anyone.

He knows all of my medical problems, I have ulcerative colitis, he even knows when it is flaring up and I have started bleeding. He knows about any breakthrough bleeding I have between periods. There is nothing I can think of that I keep from him. I don't see the need to. We are partners in life and all that it entails.

EFS

Edited by bakesgirls, 16 January 2013 - 10:36 PM.


#9 stephanu

Posted 16 January 2013 - 10:33 PM

Yeah we tell each other everything. Mainly because we love to talk to each other. There is nothing I can think of that I wouldn't tell him and I'm pretty sure he feels the same. We tell each other gross medical stuff too. He knows so many things about me that absolutely no one else knows and vice versa.

All our emails and facebooks have the password saved so we can auto login, so I guess we have access to each others accounts. His are usually open on the main computer and I will often check his Facebook instead of mine because we share most of our friends and likes and I couldn't be bothered logging out. He does the same if mine is open.

Eta- we know each others pin numbers because it's a linked account anyway and I always forget my wallet.  rolleyes.gif

Edited by stephanu, 16 January 2013 - 10:36 PM.


#10 Feralishous

Posted 16 January 2013 - 10:48 PM

we share everything. This is the man who changed my pads, emptied my catheter bags and showered me, after watching me push a baby out of my vagina. No secrets here.

#11 i-candi

Posted 16 January 2013 - 11:00 PM

QUOTE (Ferdinand @ 16/01/2013, 11:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I share none of that stuff with my partner. There is no need.

Why on earth would you tell him you have a UTI? There is such a thing as over sharing.



ummmm because we have sex daily (even twice daily) on average when he is home. He would kind of notice when I don't want sex????

Whilst we don't know passwords etc if needed DH would ask me to log in and give me his passwords so I can complete his transactions for net banking. Although this is rare.



DH tells me things, I tell him things. It's just what you do when partnered.

#12 Feral Grey Mare

Posted 16 January 2013 - 11:13 PM

We have the same PIN so that is not an issue. DH is completely computer illiterate so I do all the on-line stuff. Personal or medical things? I tell him as little as possible because he just cannot keep his mouth shut and our personal business would be the talk of the pub within a nano-second.

#13 ~Supernova~

Posted 17 January 2013 - 04:27 AM

QUOTE (trishalishous @ 16/01/2013, 11:48 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
we share everything. This is the man who changed my pads, emptied my catheter bags and showered me, after watching me push a baby out of my vagina. No secrets here.



This! Except he was IN the birthing pool with me. That was just delightful to think about after LOL. But yeah, no secrets here either.

#14 Carmen02

Posted 17 January 2013 - 04:54 AM

we share everything! no secrets here! We have been through so much together we share everything together

#15 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 17 January 2013 - 08:08 AM

I don't know DH's pin numbers for his bank accounts, he doesn't know mine.  In 15 years, this hasn't ever been an issue.  Then again, our main bank account (where out pays go) is a joint account, so not a lot of secrecy there. Online, I can see his accounts and he can see mine. Our individuals accounts have small balances and we know what's going on with each other wrt to them.  

I definitely tell DH a lot.  We both offload about work stuff and family stuff.  I keep DH up to date about what's going on with our friends and family (also known as gossiping, I suppose).  DH isn't interested in hearing trivial gossip, so it's pretty obvious when he shuts off listening.  He tells me what's going on with his mates, but he does have the memory of a goldfish sometimes.  He can talk with his mother and then remember a week later that he needed to tell me a, b and c.  That's just him though.

I don't feel the need to tell DH everything that I think or feel.  Or everything that is told to me either.  I assume he does the same.  But I do like the fact that I could, if I wanted to.  That's why we're together.

QUOTE (Ferdinand @ 16/01/2013, 10:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Why on earth would you tell him you have a UTI? There is such a thing as over sharing.

Edited, because a UTI is not the same as an IUD (have no idea why I got that mixed up, LOL!  roll2.gif )

Would I tell DH if I had a UTI?  Probably, because it would most likely mean that I was on antibiotics and DH would notice that.  Plus, he'd notice it if I started going to the toilet every 5 minutes and was feeling crook.  He'd ask what was wrong without me having to bring it to his attention.  He's seen a lot worse when I was pregnant, giving birth, so a UTI is nothing.

Edited by YodaTheWrinkledOne, 17 January 2013 - 10:28 AM.


#16 lactasticmama

Posted 17 January 2013 - 08:47 AM

We share anything & everything also. He is my husband/best friend/soul mate etc, so why not.

#17 lafonda

Posted 17 January 2013 - 08:52 AM

I tell DH everything. And I mean everything.

#18 .Jerry.

Posted 17 January 2013 - 08:55 AM

If I am told something in confidence, I keep my promise.  I don't tell my partner.  If I do, then I have not kept that secret.

I don't know his passwords and PINs, but I could have a good guess at them if I wanted to.  Thing is, I have no need or desire to know them.

I don't tell him much work stuff as it would be unprofessional of me to do so, apart from general whinges.

I have no interest in being any "closer" to him in terms of what I share.  We share interests and conversation.  We share also what needs to be shared.



#19 BadCat

Posted 17 January 2013 - 09:10 AM

Stuff to do with our life I share.  He knows where to find my bank account info (and his, I look after all the banking and finance).  He knows when I'm sick.  I don't deliberately keep anything much from him but I don't feel the need to blurt out everything either.

The only things I deliberately keep from him are things about other people that he has no business knowing.

And he doesn't know certain things from my childhood because I never speak of them to anyone.

#20 SophieBear

Posted 17 January 2013 - 09:15 AM

I share everything with DH.

He knows everything I know and he knows every ailment, mostly because I whinge.

I know everything that he remembers to tell me.

DH knows so much he knows how I have issues going to the loo and will ask how everything is going.. now that is over sharing!

#21 MrsLexiK

Posted 17 January 2013 - 09:15 AM

I tell him most things, I don't think I have ever been told something where I was asked to not tell my DH anyway.  Well maybe from my SIL but then her DH was telling my DH at the same time she was telling me.  

I log into DH's account a fair bit, moreso when I was doing his book keeping for him now it is more direct debits I have set up so it is only if he needs a balance check,  he has the ability to log into mine but doesn't remember the passwords.  Due to the way our accounts are set up and how we get paid we sometimes take each others cards. One of the accoutns which is in my name is the account our mortgage comes from and the account our stuff for the house spending (ie: pool stuff, garden stuff) I have literally been too lazy to get his own card so he just takes mine.  When I go in and change the name on my cards I will also ask for a card for DH for both of the CC's in my name and also the account which really should have been set up as a joint account.  

He has email and facebook but I know everything and I am the one that reads it to him as he would be lost.  He doesn't know my log ins but would be able to pick up my phone and tap the icon and have access to all my accounts.

#22 baddmammajamma

Posted 17 January 2013 - 09:26 AM

QUOTE (.Jerry. @ 17/01/2013, 09:55 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If I am told something in confidence, I keep my promise.  I don't tell my partner.  If I do, then I have not kept that secret.


QUOTE (Madame Catty @ 17/01/2013, 10:05 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I consider myself a loyal person.  As such, I would NOT tell my partner gossip or secrets someone else has told me to keep to myself.  That does not mean my husband and I don't have an "open" relationship, or I'm keeping secrets from him.


QUOTE (BadCat @ 17/01/2013, 10:10 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The only things I deliberately keep from him are things about other people that he has no business knowing.


All of these.

When a friend confides in me and says, "Please don't tell ANYONE," that "anyone" includes my husband. We are partners in life, but he is not an extension of me. It would be breaking a trust if I were to share someone else's secret, when I've promised not to tell anyone.

#23 baddmammajamma

Posted 17 January 2013 - 09:41 AM

Grrrr...weird EB double post thingy going on.....

Edited by baddmammajamma, 17 January 2013 - 09:42 AM.


#24 Chief Pancake Make

Posted 17 January 2013 - 09:54 AM

We have just been through preganancy and childbirth - there is not much that hasnt been shared.

Early on in the relationship I did have a very serious discussion after he shared something very personal with his mother.  What happens in the marriage stays in the marriage.

#25 Justaduck

Posted 17 January 2013 - 10:11 AM

QUOTE (Ferdinand @ 16/01/2013, 10:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I share none of that stuff with my partner. There is no need.

Why on earth would you tell him you have a UTI? There is such a thing as over sharing.


Do you tell him if you have a chest infection? Ear infection? An infection is an infection. I am not sure about others but I feel ill and drained each time I have had one, until the next day after starting antibiotics. Also you are back and forth on the toilet as it causes a sensation of needing to pee, so if he was off and on the toilet every 5mins I would be asking him if everything is okay




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Teaching our son to say no to violence against women

Today, on White Ribbon Day - and every other day - we're teaching our son to say no to violence against women.

Mothers told to breastfeed in 'spacious' toilet

If there is one thing the owners of Tillings Cafe can be certain of, it is that the eatery won't win the award for Britain's best baby-friendly coffee shop any time soon.

Mother gives name to son dumped down drain

A woman who admitted to dumping her newborn baby down a Sydney drain has reportedly been allowed to give him a name.

Taking small steps to reduce stress

Are you feeling used up by life's stress, family problems and a demanding job you can't turn off? Many people are way beyond work-life exhaustion. They are functioning as robots.

Bad news: we're running out of chocolate

The world's biggest chocolate-maker says we're running out of chocolate.

Born at 23 weeks, 'Chopstick Baby' survives first week

A baby who was born at 23 weeks has survived her first week of life outside the womb.

Manic stations: the nesting instinct in pregnancy

It might sound like temporary insanity, but almost obsessive nesting as you near your due date isn’t uncommon – even if you’re not usually a particularly clean person.

How a baby can survive alone for days on end

The baby found abandoned in a Sydney drain may have been alone for up to six days without being fed, leaving many asking how he could have survived.

When it begins to look a lot like Christmas

A child's excitement at Christmas time is a beautiful thing, but one dad ponders whether his toddler daughter is getting into the festive mood a bit too soon.

Hospital lets dads the experience some of the pain of childbirth

A new experience is radically altering men's views of childbirth.

Italian doctors questioned over formula bribes

Italian police have placed 12 doctors under house arrest on suspicion of promoting baby milk formula over breastfeeding.

Heartwarming prank gives single mum the house she was hired to clean

Cara Simmons arrived at work to clean a large and beautiful house in time for a party planned for that evening. It was soon hers.

Those special moments of sibling bonding

Every now and then your child does or says something that is truly memorable.

Why we should stop telling new parents to 'enjoy every moment'

A few weeks ago, some dear friends of mine had their first baby. As the proud dad texted me a picture I had to fight the natural instinct to say “Enjoy every moment!”

Baby monitor footage posted online

Footage of Australian babies and children sleeping in their bedrooms are among the images on a Russian site showing live feeds from thousands of homes and businesses around the world.

Did this new dad really hit on his wife's midwife?

Was there really a man who was actually there by his wife’s side as she laboured and gave birth to his child, all while he was making what he perceived to be meaningful eye contact with a midwife?

Keep calm and ignore the Tantrum Trolls

Tantrum Trolls are a small but growing species of predatory bottom-feeders who delight in picking on parents at their most vulnerable.

It's okay to never 'get over' the death of a loved one

The death of children, siblings, and parents has long term impacts on the rest of our lives.

What Mark Latham needs to know about depression and motherhood

Love has nothing to do with mental illness. But love may drive a mother to do something about it.

'We're just trying to keep our child alive': life with FPIES

We have a beautiful seven-month-old son, and his allergy rules our life.

Transgender dad breastfeeds his babies

A transgender man who breastfed his first baby - despite having his breasts removed as part of his transformation from female to male - has now had a second child.

Couple face $1 million medical bill and bankruptcy after babymoon birth

A Canadian couple were slammed with a million dollar medical bill after their daughter was prematurely during their babymoon.

Cigarettes, junk food dominate supermarket sales growth

One in every five dollars spent at supermarkets goes on cigarettes or junk food, according to industry data.

Teacher under fire for breastfeeding in class

There is no doubt mums have a right to continue breastfeeding after they have returned to work, but one teacher in the US has taken it to the extreme.

Win a family pass to Disney Live!

We have 4 family passes to give away to see Disney Live! presents Three Classic Fairy Tales, touring Australia this December/January.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Join PADDINGTON on the red carpet!

To celebrate the release of PADDINGTON, we are giving five lucky winners the chance to win a family pass to the exclusive Australian Premiere in Sydney on December 7!

The tragedy of losing a favourite teddy bear

We were green and uninitiated, perhaps a little naïve when it came to the favourite toy responsibility.

Video: Baby sniffs beardless dad to make sure it's him

She looks him up and down and then touches his chin, but baby Lindsey still isn't sure this clean-shaven man is her dad.

It's possible to workout while pregnant

Medical experts say intense fitness routines can be done safely during pregnancy - if the mums-to-be follow some guidelines.

What parents really want for their kids

Are our hopes, dreams and expectations for our children what they really need?

'I had a feeling something was seriously wrong'

Before even giving birth, Katie Myers' maternal instincts warned her something was wrong with her baby.

When your pregnancy causes a relationship rift

Some dads-to-be don't miss a beat when their partner is pregnant; others struggle with a range of issues and can become withdrawn, right when their support is needed most.

Couple uses group photo trick to announce pregnancy to loved ones

Katharine and Kris Camilli devised a clever trick to immortalise their family and friends' reactions to their exciting pregnancy news.

Why Tracey Spicer has given up make-up

"After 30 years on television, I had become what I despised: a painted doll who spent an hour a day and close to $200 a week putting on a mask."

Knowing you are one of the lucky ones

I am secure, confident and strong, but the responsibility of protecting my children can almost bring me undone.

Why I am so emotional now I have kids?

There are so many ways in which parenthood changes us as women, but one of the most noticeable, for me, has been the changing state of my emotions.

Baby survives despite sharing womb with 'foreign body'

Baby Maia was conceived against the odds, only to find she was sharing a womb with an ominous "foreign body".

Video: Baby shows dog how to jump - or vice versa

They say dog is man's best friend, but this playful pooch seems to have chosen a jumping baby as her number one buddy.

10 ways to soothe a crying baby

New paernts can get frustrated when their newborn gets fussy and can't settle down. When you're feeling overwhelmed, try some of these simple tips to help soothe your baby.

20 baby names that are becoming more popular every year

The data-lovers at nameberry.com have been at it again – this time, they’ve discovered the names that are continually rising up the ranks, ready to take out some top spots in the next few years.

10 great meals to make for new parents

Ideally, you want to give food that isn’t expensive to make, isn't too difficult to create, and freezes well; stews, bakes, soups and pasta sauces are perfect.

Weird pregnancy products

Some pregnancy products come to market and are just awesome. Others just leave you scratching your head.

Carers admit to force-feeding children

Two children who were given to the wrong families at birth will soon learn if they will be returned to their biological parents.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.