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Mother forced to leave Bribie Island Aquatic Centre after breastfeeding her daughter


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#776 Nataliah

Posted 24 January 2013 - 05:57 PM

I have actually been feeling a little sad the last couple of days because of this whole 'debate'... I have probably read too much on sources I would usually avoid (FB, news.com etc).  I am so close now to my baby coming and I'm thinking more and more about what life is really going to be like as a mum.  I am a really confident person, gung-ho in a lot of ways... but like most true extroverts, I really do care what other people think... even strangers.  I am worried about judgement, about being thought to be inconsiderate...  Before this I honestly expected to only get judged if I wasn't breast-feeding...

The thing I have been most shocked by is how eople honestly think its a disgusting thing... like p*ssing.  I am not surprised by the women-shaming or the double standards or the faux-concern etc etc... but the disgust?  WOW a complete eye opener for me...

Edited by Nataliah, 24 January 2013 - 05:58 PM.


#777 CallMeFeral

Posted 24 January 2013 - 11:17 PM

QUOTE (Nataliah @ 24/01/2013, 06:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I am worried about judgement, about being thought to be inconsiderate...  Before this I honestly expected to only get judged if I wasn't breast-feeding...


If it helps, Nataliah, you may never come across it. I never came across any commentary/judgement on my breastfeeding, and I may not have been hanging them out shouting "MILKIIIIEEEESSS!!!" but I didn't use a muslin either (like there's not enough fiddling about already!). And I always just fed wherever I was, main thoroughfare of Westfield, restaurant, park, even supermarket pushing a trolley (yeah not my ideal but it was the only way to shut him up!).
The closest I got to reaction to it was that DH's uncle would make an excuse to find something interesting in the next room while I was feeding (took me a while to notice!), and one time we were out to lunch with a couple, and the wife had gone to go feed somewhere private as she liked to, and then I started feeding and DH got up and walked off from the table and stood a metre or so away, so the other husband did too, leaving me by myself at an empty table breastfeeding (which peed me off to no end as it's damned boring).
Turns out DH was feeling cold and had wanted to move into the sun, the other guy had assumed that this was due to the feeding and that the tactful thing for him to do was follow suit, and DH was completely oblivious (what's new).

Just saying - relax. In my experience, society is pretty good actually. For every Kochie there are at least a 100 people with a brain, I think.

#778 Nataliah

Posted 25 January 2013 - 04:25 AM

QUOTE (CallMeProtart @ 25/01/2013, 12:17 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If it helps, Nataliah, you may never come across it. I never came across any commentary/judgement on my breastfeeding, and I may not have been hanging them out shouting "MILKIIIIEEEESSS!!!" but I didn't use a muslin either (like there's not enough fiddling about already!). And I always just fed wherever I was, main thoroughfare of Westfield, restaurant, park, even supermarket pushing a trolley (yeah not my ideal but it was the only way to shut him up!).
The closest I got to reaction to it was that DH's uncle would make an excuse to find something interesting in the next room while I was feeding (took me a while to notice!), and one time we were out to lunch with a couple, and the wife had gone to go feed somewhere private as she liked to, and then I started feeding and DH got up and walked off from the table and stood a metre or so away, so the other husband did too, leaving me by myself at an empty table breastfeeding (which peed me off to no end as it's damned boring).
Turns out DH was feeling cold and had wanted to move into the sun, the other guy had assumed that this was due to the feeding and that the tactful thing for him to do was follow suit, and DH was completely oblivious (what's new).

Just saying - relax. In my experience, society is pretty good actually. For every Kochie there are at least a 100 people with a brain, I think.


Thanks!! That makes me feel better!

#779 Bart.

Posted 25 January 2013 - 07:33 AM

I brought this up last night with DH who is uncomfortable with seeing breastfeeding, but can't really understand why.    I asked him if it was the breast on show, he said, "no". Was it the idea of the baby sucking; "no".  To him, it's just not an attractive action; weird to me but nonetheless, that's his view.

It was a good discussion and we were able to go back to the source of him being conditioned to not be comfortable because he wasn't around it at all when growing up.  

He finally admitted that the more women who breastfeed in public, the more 'normal' it will be and therefore more people will be comfortable with it.  I know that's what we've been saying on these forums for years but it was a huge deal for my engineer husband (who doesn't like anything that isn't metal) to come to that conclusion and to admit that over time he would become comfortable.  

So, there is hope. original.gif

#780 adl

Posted 25 January 2013 - 07:50 AM

My DH thought it was all ridiculous , and being an old guy, I was quite proud he is so normal about it... ( ETA I mean the stupid comments being made about discreet etc)

but he does look away when it's his work colleague who is also a friend as she attaches, mainly he thinks he should not openly stare at her chest area.and her breasts as she gets baby settled and feeding ..but he doesn't move, and I think he is being respectful..

I have never heard a comment or seen adverse reaction anywhere in inner Sydney, on planes ( we do fly a lot) etc....

Pleas don't be afraid, more people support than ever

Edited by adl, 25 January 2013 - 07:51 AM.


#781 Cacti

Posted 25 January 2013 - 07:50 AM

QUOTE (Bart. @ 25/01/2013, 07:33 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I brought this up last night with DH who is uncomfortable with seeing breastfeeding, but can't really understand why.    I asked him if it was the breast on show, he said, "no". Was it the idea of the baby sucking; "no".  To him, it's just not an attractive action; weird to me but nonetheless, that's his view.


Before all my friends started having babies, I was uncomfortable seeing breastfeeding, more because I felt it was a private moment because mother and child, and I was intruding. Having watched my friends and done it myself, I realise it's a moment that happens everywhere, for many many hours a day, and pleeeeeease talk to me while I'm feeding.

I've never had any negative comments or looks while feeding, and I've fed in many places - although I find that some men don't know what to do and thus I become invisible. I was at an airport a few months ago when the check-in system crashed, people were everywhere, delays, crowded, etc, then my baby needed a feed (I'd timed it perfectly so he'd want a feed on take-off but we were still in the queue). So I had to beg a chair from someone (it was empty but only because their wife had somewhere for a few minutes) - they said no at first, then I explained it was so I could feed my baby, they said "Oh, of course".

Then while I was feeding the ground crew started handing out water bottles and pringles to make up for the delay, so the man on the other side of me got me a water bottle and pringles, opened the pringles for me and handed them to me, and a woman nearby offered to hold my bag so I didn't have to juggle baby and bag. I'd heard so many things about people disapproving of public breastfeeding that it was so nice to be so looked after by complete strangers.

#782 Emily33-

Posted 26 January 2013 - 03:40 PM

I received one offensive comment when breastfeeding my then 18mo DD in the high street of my local shops when  a woman walked passed me and muttered "disgusting". I was so offended and angry and imagined myself chasing her down the street and confronting her (but I continued feeding). A man with his young children then walked passed and gave me a reassuring smile.  I had actually wanted to take DD to the car to feed but she couldn't wait a second longer. DH had been out walking with her and she desperately wanted a feed.  I shouldn't have had to think twice about feeding her where she needed to. But I did.

Now when I remember what happened and this woman and her reaction I feel so sorry for her and what she must have missed out on.  I really don't feel angry anymore.  I have come to the conclusion that her offensive remark wasn't about me but a reflection of what was going on for her... a glimpse into her inner emotional world that was triggered by what she saw.  

I came across these 2 articles this week which reassured me and I found encouraging.  I hope you do too.

Feeding frenzy: Public breastfeeding is good for us all
by Yvette Miller, senior lecturer in public health
http://theconversation.edu.au/feeding-fren...or-us-all-11707

Breastfeeding in public - Your legal rights
Australian Breastfeeding Association
https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bf-info/br...-law/legalright

BTW I have been BFing for 5 and a half years now non stop (including a 4 months stint at tandem feeding in private). That was the only offensive comment or look I received (that I'm aware of).  I don't think twice about feeding my son anywhere, though he doesn't seem to need me to breastfeed him as much as DD did.  My family and friends are supportive. I think it would have been hard not to have that support. My Mum BFed me til I was 8mo so full term BFing is new to me and my community.  

I hope you receive the support you need to breastfeed for as long as you and your baby want to and wherever and whenever you and your baby/infant needs to.

edited to read a bit better

Edited by Emily33-, 26 January 2013 - 05:08 PM.





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