Like Karla, I am not professing any ability to diagnose anyone's child -- but as the mother of a 7-year-old girl with Aspergers, your post rings so many bells. In fact, I could have written it word for word after a party we attended in spring!
I took a quick look at your post history just to jog my memory, and I can see that you've been worried about your daughter's behavior for quite some time. And again, although I am totally unqualified to diagnose anything, a lot of your posts resonate with me very strongly.
I know from firsthand experience that some kids are complicated -- it might be because they have additional issues (identified or not) going on or that we as parents just haven't figured out the most effective way to mitigate their challenging behaviors. Or both!
Given that you've had concerns for a while, I echo the suggestions above that you seek some professional guidance. I would suggest a two-pronged approach (referrals can both come from your GP): (1) a good psych who can help you figure out what might be going on & help you devise tailored strategies for supporting your daughter (2) a good developmental paed who can look across your daughter's entire developmental profile.
If anything like Aspergers/some form of ASD is even a possible consideration, you will need both professionals to be involved in Victoria in terms of getting a proper assessment & diagnosis. For a variety of reasons, girls with ASD often go undetected.
You are likely to encounter a nice, long wait for developmental paeds because demand far exceeds supply. So it's a good idea to get the ball rolling, just in case.
Are you anywhere near Melbourne? There is an amazing psych practice there that specializes in girls/women with Aspergers/ASD and/or related social struggles. The lead practitioner (female) is a protege of Tony Attwood. I'd be happy to send you the information. They do formal assessments, one off "behavioral problem solving sessions" (might be a good way to test the waters), and social skills groups. There are other reputable psychologists, as well, who deal with issues extending beyond just ASD, and I'm sure that some parents on EB who have firsthand experience would happy to make recommendations via PM (the mums on the SNs board are a particularly knowledgeable crew ).
Please take a moment just to read through a few of these links. If nothing resonates with you & I am totally off base, I apologize...but I would be remiss for not putting it out there:
Good luck. I really can relate to your pain and frustration. Regardless of what is causing this behavior, I hope you are able to get some valuable guidance and support soon.
Edited by baddmammajamma, 17 January 2013 - 07:29 AM.