Jump to content

At my wits ends with my 6.5yo DD


  • Please log in to reply
35 replies to this topic

#26 baddmammajamma

Posted 17 January 2013 - 01:33 AM

CC:

Like Karla, I am not professing any ability to diagnose anyone's child -- but as the mother of a 7-year-old girl with Aspergers, your post rings so many bells. In fact, I could have written it word for word after a party we attended in spring!

I took a quick look at your post history just to jog my memory, and I can see that you've been worried about your daughter's behavior for quite some time. And again, although I am totally unqualified to diagnose anything, a lot of your posts resonate with me very strongly.

I know from firsthand experience that some kids are complicated -- it might be because they have additional issues (identified or not) going on or that we as parents just haven't figured out the most effective way to mitigate their challenging behaviors. Or both!

Given that you've had concerns for a while, I echo the suggestions above that you seek some professional guidance. I would suggest a two-pronged approach (referrals can both come from your GP): (1) a good psych who can help you figure out what might be going on & help you devise tailored strategies for supporting your daughter (2) a good developmental paed who can look across your daughter's entire developmental profile.

If anything like Aspergers/some form of ASD is even a possible consideration, you will need both professionals to be involved in Victoria in terms of getting a proper assessment & diagnosis. For a variety of reasons, girls with ASD often go undetected.

You are likely to encounter a nice, long wait for developmental paeds because demand far exceeds supply. So it's a good idea to get the ball rolling, just in case.

Are you anywhere near Melbourne? There is an amazing psych practice there that specializes in girls/women with Aspergers/ASD and/or related social struggles. The lead practitioner (female) is a protege of Tony Attwood. I'd be happy to send you the information. They do formal assessments, one off "behavioral problem solving sessions" (might be a good way to test the waters), and social skills groups. There are other reputable psychologists, as well, who deal with issues extending beyond just ASD, and I'm sure that some parents on EB who have firsthand experience would happy to make recommendations via PM (the mums on the SNs board are a particularly knowledgeable crew  original.gif  ).

Please take a moment just to read through a few of these links. If nothing resonates with you & I am totally off base, I apologize...but I would be remiss for not putting it out there:

http://www.tonyattwood.com.au/index.php?op...&Itemid=720

http://www.inarkansas.com/article/family/3...ergers-syndrome

http://www.brighthubeducation.com/special-...rgers-syndrome/

Good luck. I really can relate to your pain and frustration. Regardless of what is causing this behavior, I hope you are able to get some valuable guidance and support soon.

Edited by baddmammajamma, 17 January 2013 - 07:29 AM.


#27 CCLady

Posted 17 January 2013 - 01:48 AM

QUOTE
It's like she needs to be reminded constantly what is expected of her.


This is my DS too (he's 6.5). Everything has to be explained over and over, he needs preparation for everything, he needs to know what is going to happen, he needs warning. "Shower is off in 3 minutes", "shower is off in one minute"... I wouldn't dream of going in and just saying "shower is over".  ffear.gif . He wouldn't cope well.

This is just one of our daily issues, we are hoping to get him tested this year with more access to support in the public school system (coming from catholic). I have worked SO HARD with him all year on my own for home life, he has improved so much but still melts down at least weekly.

Good luck OP, I would look into going back to the psych if you've had success in the past. We went last year and the one he saw was hopeless, had NO idea and 'blamed' me which is why i took a step back and worked with him myself...

#28 Guest_~Karla~_*

Posted 17 January 2013 - 07:09 AM

I was hoping you were going to pop in BMJ. You word things so much more eloquently than I do. original.gif

#29 ChunkyChook

Posted 17 January 2013 - 07:51 AM

Thanks for all the info. I have a Drs appointment in the morning for me but will mention it to him. Will check out the links BJM.

This is why I love EB, I can't get other peoples experiences and support from people IRL. that is from such a diverse amount of mums.  wub.gif



#30 ChunkyChook

Posted 18 January 2013 - 01:25 PM

Dr doesn't think it is Aspergers but wrote a referral for the child psych again to find out his perspective. So will make an appointment for her.



#31 Kismama

Posted 18 January 2013 - 02:01 PM

Glad your GP was happy to refer you OP.

I found my GP had some very outdated info/beliefs about Aspergers - she completely missed the signs in my then-3-year-old and used a little checklist to rub my face in my wrong-ness....  (Meanwhile DD was wigging out at my feet!!)

Turns out, GP was wrong... and things are SO much easier around here now that I know what I'm dealing with.

Regardless of your outcome, I hope you can get to the bottom of why your daughter struggles with these things. It's such a load off when you realise what needs to happen to prevent things escalating!

#32 Guest_~Karla~_*

Posted 18 January 2013 - 03:33 PM

My experience with my fabulous GP who I love was the same. Fact is, GP's are not qualified to diagnose (or not diagnose) things like Aspergers. That's why you need a good paed with a particular interest in ASD/Aspergers or a good Developmental paed. original.gif

Hopefully your psych has had some experience with ASD and can let you know if they see some red flags and think she does need the Dev Paed referral. Good luck. And feel free to pop into the SN board whenever you like. original.gif

#33 Ferelsmegz

Posted 18 January 2013 - 03:48 PM

Hi ChunkyChook,

Im with Karla on this one... your DD also reminds me of my DS who has Aspergers... he is 9 now and we have had heaps of different therapies/social skills groups etc with him and - whilst he still sometimes struggles - he is MUCH better now.

One of the things that helped is some social stories/strip stories that were written by his psych, they are about how to play with others, how to behave/act if someone doesnt want to play with you, why its ok to lose sometimes etc.. they were great for him and even if your DD is ASD they might help her understand.

I remember before his disagnoses a massive birthday party meltdown - he was 4 at the time.. therefore he had to have everything as 4 and when he didnt get the number 4 in a game he just couldnt handle it and started screaming and crying.... and in kindy he had a friend and to him she could only be his friend.... he went nuts if she spoke or played with anyone else...  sad.gif

Good luck with the Psych... a diagnoses (if that is the case) is NOT a bad thing... in fact for my DS is the best thing that could ever have happened to him... he gets so much help now and I 100% believe that without everything we have done for him he would be a completely different person today.   biggrin.gif

#34 baddmammajamma

Posted 18 January 2013 - 06:46 PM

QUOTE (ChunkyChook @ 18/01/2013, 02:25 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Dr doesn't think it is Aspergers but wrote a referral for the child psych again to find out his perspective. So will make an appointment for her.


As the others have said, GPs are not in the position to rule in or rule out something like Aspergers or other related issues. I'm glad to hear that your GP was willing to refer you on -- points to him for that!

My only other pieces of advice is to make sure that you are seeing a GOOD psychologist, hopefully one with a lot of experience with behavioral and developmental challenges in young girls. As with any profession, there are some awesome psychs out there & some duds. Make sure yours is the former and really listens to your concerns & connects well with your daughter. (If you need any specific recs, you know that the SNs Mum gang in Melbourne would be happy to comply original.gif ). And if I were you, I'd still be booking in with a good developmental paed, just to cover the bases.

I hope you are able to get some answers soon. Regardless of the underlying cause, it can be such a relief to figure out what's going on & develop steps to improve the situation. Good luck!!!!



#35 ChunkyChook

Posted 19 January 2013 - 09:29 AM

Thanks BMJ. I am a couple of hours from Melbourne but would be happy to travel down to see someone good.



#36 khunella

Posted 19 January 2013 - 01:50 PM

Being a 'spectrum' makes ASD is tough to diagnose. Normal kids sometimes show ASD symptoms and ASD kids sometimes act completely normally, which is why the diagnosis is so difficult and even a bit subjective. There are even kids who display only a single ASD behaviour eg. pronoun reversal, and no others at all! The other aspect of ASD I find really strange is that while its incidence has been steadily rising in the west, no-one knows whether this is because there's more of it around, or its just being measured better now. I read the other day that DSM (the manual of mental illness) is taking 'autism' and Asperger's Syndrome out and replacing them with ASD. It's certainly an evolving part of medicine! Thankfully there's so much more support now - can you imagine how hard it must have been 20 years ago, when the disorder was barely recognised?

Edited by khunella, 19 January 2013 - 01:51 PM.





2 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

The 'no children' wedding invite

It was the wedding of one of my oldest and dearest friends, and she had invited me to be her bridesmaid. It was quite an honour. But there was one problem.

Baby Dylan recovering well after spending five days alone

 For up to five days he lay alone after his mother died of a suspected drug overdose, but eight-month-old Dylan Micallef has made an incredible recovery.

The mystery of William Tyrell, little boy lost

The question remains: How does a little boy simply vanish without a trace?

Woman fights off robber, then gives birth

A thief in the US got more than he bargained for when he try to rob a woman who was nine months pregnant because he figured she would be an easy target.

Video: Two-year-old tells mum off for laughing at her

This little girl is not happy that her mum started laughing during her performance - so she tells her exactly how she feels about it.

Coping with a bolter

My 15-month-old has suddenly added a burst of real speed to her toddle. She should be classed a flight risk.

Single, 51 and pregnant

Tracey Kahn didn't realise she wanted to become a mother until she was well into her 40s. Now 51, she is pregnant with her second child.

An open letter to Tony Abbott: please salvage our super

We face financial ruin, but most of us don?t realise it. If we don?t act together to salvage our superannuation, I have no doubt the new GFC will be the Girls? Financial Crisis.

'I'm happy to know I'm changing lives': surrogate mum of two

I know that once the baby is born, I will focus on the gift I have given, and watch the parents with their new child. I can't wait for that day.

Birth trauma and the issue of informed consent

There is a perception that women should just be happy they have a healthy baby in their arms. But for women who experienced birth trauma, there's a lot more to it.

Tips for managing pollen allergies and hayfever

They're simple tips, but they can have a big impact on those who suffer from hayfever and pollen allergies.

Ada Nicodemou shares tribute to her stillborn baby

Just over one month since Ada Nicodemou and her husband lost their second son, the Home and Away star has shared a touching poem for her baby.

Mum causes stir breastfeeding on train

?To the woman breastfeeding her kid on the train. Seriously! On the train?" began the letter of complaint.

10 things they don?t tell you about being pregnant

As I slowly waddle my ever-changing pregnant body towards the finishing line of my due date, it?s becoming increasingly clear there are a lot of things they just don?t tell you about pregnancy.

Overcoming a fear of the dark

A toddler's fear of the dark is very normal, but there are ways parents can help children through this stage in their development.

Kids, TV and movies: how young is too young?

It seems you don't have to throw the TV and iPad out the window - it all boils down to moderation, supervision and interaction.

Video: Baby's first birthday is a special day for mum, too

?A baby?s first birthday is also mum?s first birthday.?

The day Supernanny came to tea

Prince William's favourite celebrity child trainer Jo Frost puts Bryony Gordon and her toddler through their paces.

The words I hated hearing as new mum

It was less than a week after my son was born that I first heard it - from my mother.

To the pharmacist who sold me baby formula

On the rare occasion I catch sight of you at school, or around town, I think back to our earliest exchange. I?m sure you have no recollection of it at all.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

Losing yourself to motherhood

While watching your baby grow into a unique little person is exciting and wondrous, the intensity of meeting everyone else?s needs can ever so sneakily overtake your own needs for self-care.

Tearing during delivery: the facts

Almost all women will experience bruising, grazing or tearing after a vaginal birth. Depending on the degree of tearing, there are various treatments available.

6 tips for a day out with a baby and toddler

Outings can be lots of fun with the kids, but there are inevitable challenges. Here's some information about days out to help you be a little more prepared.

Why I invited a dozen people to watch my son's birth

I sent invitations on burgundy scrapbooking paper stamped with a field of poppies, and told each person why I wanted him or her there. I warned that there would be nudity.

Getting labour started: tips for a natural induction

When your baby?s due date comes and goes without so much as a pop - let alone a bang - it can be disheartening. Mums and a doula share their stories of natural inductions.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

That's my boy: a dad's diary of the first 4 months

Unbearable anxiety, unspeakable joy, constant exhaustion and bouts of frustration ... The many shocks of first-time fatherhood resound in a dad's diary of his son's early months.

One of the most important things a new mum can do

Finances may not be as cute as a newborn, but with many women?s working arrangements changing post-baby, monetary matters need attention too.

The 'no children' wedding invite

"It's her wedding, so the day is all about her, not your baby." How major fall-out can occur over a simple wedding invitation.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Reader offer

2 FOR 1 TICKET OFFER

For Shopping, For Advice, For Baby & You. Enjoy a special day out with fabulous shopping from over 200 brands, leading parenting experts offering advice on a range of topics, and amazing children?s entertainment

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.