Jump to content

At my wits ends with my 6.5yo DD


  • Please log in to reply
35 replies to this topic

#26 baddmammajamma

Posted 17 January 2013 - 01:33 AM

CC:

Like Karla, I am not professing any ability to diagnose anyone's child -- but as the mother of a 7-year-old girl with Aspergers, your post rings so many bells. In fact, I could have written it word for word after a party we attended in spring!

I took a quick look at your post history just to jog my memory, and I can see that you've been worried about your daughter's behavior for quite some time. And again, although I am totally unqualified to diagnose anything, a lot of your posts resonate with me very strongly.

I know from firsthand experience that some kids are complicated -- it might be because they have additional issues (identified or not) going on or that we as parents just haven't figured out the most effective way to mitigate their challenging behaviors. Or both!

Given that you've had concerns for a while, I echo the suggestions above that you seek some professional guidance. I would suggest a two-pronged approach (referrals can both come from your GP): (1) a good psych who can help you figure out what might be going on & help you devise tailored strategies for supporting your daughter (2) a good developmental paed who can look across your daughter's entire developmental profile.

If anything like Aspergers/some form of ASD is even a possible consideration, you will need both professionals to be involved in Victoria in terms of getting a proper assessment & diagnosis. For a variety of reasons, girls with ASD often go undetected.

You are likely to encounter a nice, long wait for developmental paeds because demand far exceeds supply. So it's a good idea to get the ball rolling, just in case.

Are you anywhere near Melbourne? There is an amazing psych practice there that specializes in girls/women with Aspergers/ASD and/or related social struggles. The lead practitioner (female) is a protege of Tony Attwood. I'd be happy to send you the information. They do formal assessments, one off "behavioral problem solving sessions" (might be a good way to test the waters), and social skills groups. There are other reputable psychologists, as well, who deal with issues extending beyond just ASD, and I'm sure that some parents on EB who have firsthand experience would happy to make recommendations via PM (the mums on the SNs board are a particularly knowledgeable crew  original.gif  ).

Please take a moment just to read through a few of these links. If nothing resonates with you & I am totally off base, I apologize...but I would be remiss for not putting it out there:

http://www.tonyattwood.com.au/index.php?op...&Itemid=720

http://www.inarkansas.com/article/family/3...ergers-syndrome

http://www.brighthubeducation.com/special-...rgers-syndrome/

Good luck. I really can relate to your pain and frustration. Regardless of what is causing this behavior, I hope you are able to get some valuable guidance and support soon.

Edited by baddmammajamma, 17 January 2013 - 07:29 AM.


#27 CCLady

Posted 17 January 2013 - 01:48 AM

QUOTE
It's like she needs to be reminded constantly what is expected of her.


This is my DS too (he's 6.5). Everything has to be explained over and over, he needs preparation for everything, he needs to know what is going to happen, he needs warning. "Shower is off in 3 minutes", "shower is off in one minute"... I wouldn't dream of going in and just saying "shower is over".  ffear.gif . He wouldn't cope well.

This is just one of our daily issues, we are hoping to get him tested this year with more access to support in the public school system (coming from catholic). I have worked SO HARD with him all year on my own for home life, he has improved so much but still melts down at least weekly.

Good luck OP, I would look into going back to the psych if you've had success in the past. We went last year and the one he saw was hopeless, had NO idea and 'blamed' me which is why i took a step back and worked with him myself...

#28 ~Karla~

Posted 17 January 2013 - 07:09 AM

I was hoping you were going to pop in BMJ. You word things so much more eloquently than I do. original.gif

#29 ChunkyChook

Posted 17 January 2013 - 07:51 AM

Thanks for all the info. I have a Drs appointment in the morning for me but will mention it to him. Will check out the links BJM.

This is why I love EB, I can't get other peoples experiences and support from people IRL. that is from such a diverse amount of mums.  wub.gif



#30 ChunkyChook

Posted 18 January 2013 - 01:25 PM

Dr doesn't think it is Aspergers but wrote a referral for the child psych again to find out his perspective. So will make an appointment for her.



#31 Kismama

Posted 18 January 2013 - 02:01 PM

Glad your GP was happy to refer you OP.

I found my GP had some very outdated info/beliefs about Aspergers - she completely missed the signs in my then-3-year-old and used a little checklist to rub my face in my wrong-ness....  (Meanwhile DD was wigging out at my feet!!)

Turns out, GP was wrong... and things are SO much easier around here now that I know what I'm dealing with.

Regardless of your outcome, I hope you can get to the bottom of why your daughter struggles with these things. It's such a load off when you realise what needs to happen to prevent things escalating!

#32 ~Karla~

Posted 18 January 2013 - 03:33 PM

My experience with my fabulous GP who I love was the same. Fact is, GP's are not qualified to diagnose (or not diagnose) things like Aspergers. That's why you need a good paed with a particular interest in ASD/Aspergers or a good Developmental paed. original.gif

Hopefully your psych has had some experience with ASD and can let you know if they see some red flags and think she does need the Dev Paed referral. Good luck. And feel free to pop into the SN board whenever you like. original.gif

#33 Mrs Optimus

Posted 18 January 2013 - 03:48 PM

Hi ChunkyChook,

Im with Karla on this one... your DD also reminds me of my DS who has Aspergers... he is 9 now and we have had heaps of different therapies/social skills groups etc with him and - whilst he still sometimes struggles - he is MUCH better now.

One of the things that helped is some social stories/strip stories that were written by his psych, they are about how to play with others, how to behave/act if someone doesnt want to play with you, why its ok to lose sometimes etc.. they were great for him and even if your DD is ASD they might help her understand.

I remember before his disagnoses a massive birthday party meltdown - he was 4 at the time.. therefore he had to have everything as 4 and when he didnt get the number 4 in a game he just couldnt handle it and started screaming and crying.... and in kindy he had a friend and to him she could only be his friend.... he went nuts if she spoke or played with anyone else...  sad.gif

Good luck with the Psych... a diagnoses (if that is the case) is NOT a bad thing... in fact for my DS is the best thing that could ever have happened to him... he gets so much help now and I 100% believe that without everything we have done for him he would be a completely different person today.   biggrin.gif

#34 baddmammajamma

Posted 18 January 2013 - 06:46 PM

QUOTE (ChunkyChook @ 18/01/2013, 02:25 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Dr doesn't think it is Aspergers but wrote a referral for the child psych again to find out his perspective. So will make an appointment for her.


As the others have said, GPs are not in the position to rule in or rule out something like Aspergers or other related issues. I'm glad to hear that your GP was willing to refer you on -- points to him for that!

My only other pieces of advice is to make sure that you are seeing a GOOD psychologist, hopefully one with a lot of experience with behavioral and developmental challenges in young girls. As with any profession, there are some awesome psychs out there & some duds. Make sure yours is the former and really listens to your concerns & connects well with your daughter. (If you need any specific recs, you know that the SNs Mum gang in Melbourne would be happy to comply original.gif ). And if I were you, I'd still be booking in with a good developmental paed, just to cover the bases.

I hope you are able to get some answers soon. Regardless of the underlying cause, it can be such a relief to figure out what's going on & develop steps to improve the situation. Good luck!!!!



#35 ChunkyChook

Posted 19 January 2013 - 09:29 AM

Thanks BMJ. I am a couple of hours from Melbourne but would be happy to travel down to see someone good.



#36 khunella

Posted 19 January 2013 - 01:50 PM

Being a 'spectrum' makes ASD is tough to diagnose. Normal kids sometimes show ASD symptoms and ASD kids sometimes act completely normally, which is why the diagnosis is so difficult and even a bit subjective. There are even kids who display only a single ASD behaviour eg. pronoun reversal, and no others at all! The other aspect of ASD I find really strange is that while its incidence has been steadily rising in the west, no-one knows whether this is because there's more of it around, or its just being measured better now. I read the other day that DSM (the manual of mental illness) is taking 'autism' and Asperger's Syndrome out and replacing them with ASD. It's certainly an evolving part of medicine! Thankfully there's so much more support now - can you imagine how hard it must have been 20 years ago, when the disorder was barely recognised?

Edited by khunella, 19 January 2013 - 01:51 PM.





0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Britain's youngest parents: mother 12, father 13

A 12-year-old schoolgirl and her 13-year-old boyfriend are believed to have become Britain?s youngest parents, after the birth of their baby girl earlier this week.

When Prince George met Bilby George

Prince George has met an Aussie marsupial named after him in his first official engagement in Australia.

Asphyxia link another piece of the SIDS puzzle

An Australian study has uncovered information which could lead to a better understanding of why babies die from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Pregnant woman dies after doctor removes ovary instead of appendix

When a UK woman went to hospital suffering appendicitis, doctors mistakenly removed her healthy ovary - with tragic consequences.

The milestones I can't wait to celebrate

Nothing can beat the feeling of witnessing that first smile, first step and first word - but here's a list of 'firsts' I'm really looking forward to now.

How you develop in your baby's first year

Just as babies undergo rapid growth as they learn and change in their first year, we?re learning and changing quickly as parents, too. Don?t underestimate the developmental stages you go through when you have a baby.

Can you make your baby smarter even before birth?

A product new to Australia claims to help babies be born "as intelligent as possible", but not all experts agree on the benefits of educating babies while still in the womb.

How a mother's love helped unearth the skills of an autistic savant

Autistic savant Ping Lian Yeak, a prodigious artist who has had his work shown all over the world, couldn't have done it without the support and love of his proud mum.

Rescue dog Zoey and BFF Jasper star in adorable pics

Photographer, self-professed "crazy dog lady" and mum Grace Chon takes photos of rescue dog Zoey and her 10-month-old son Jasper together. The results are just too cute. See more on Instagram @thegracechon.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

A tiny heart: a baby?s death gives life to another

Simon Alexander Garcia lived only one brief hour. But somewhere, a little girl?s heart is beating today because of him.

Ear piercing: what age is best?

What is it that shapes our opinions on what?s an 'appropriate' age for our children to get their ears pierced? Parents share their views on how young is too young when it comes to piercing.

Why is childbirth still such a pain?

The options given to women to help them cope in labour have barely changed in years.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Ideas for recording baby milestones

Get the props, lights and camera ready to record the milestone moments in your baby's first months and years. Tip: set a reminder in your phone (or jot it in a calendar) to make sure you remember it every month.

From penis amputation to fatherhood

After a botched circumcision as a child, Mike Moore was left without a penis. Years later, and after meeting the right surgeon, he was able to become a dad - naturally.

Asphyxia link another piece of the SIDS puzzle

An Australian study has uncovered information which could lead to a better understanding of why babies die from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Your baby's first shoes, made with your own hands

Imagine someone saying to you, "Your baby?s shoes are magnificent, where?d you get them?" And you reply, "Oh, these? I made them."

Mother bites off pit bull's ear to save toddler

What would you do if your child was being attacked by a vicious dog? One mother recently had to learn the hard way.

Couple dies 15 hours apart after 70 years of marriage

A couple who held hands at breakfast every morning even after 70 years of marriage have died 15 hours apart.

Behind the scenes of Kate and George's cuddly photo

Every face is partially obscured, but there's no denying the happiness and love in the faces of the royal mum and bub.

7 tips for a kid-free trip, not a guilt trip

Although I?m jumping out of my skin to take my child-free holiday, I?m dreading the goodbye. But I?m determined to make the most of it without tarnishing it with guilt or sadness about leaving the kids.

Your baby?s developmental roadmap

Caring for your new baby can feel like driving along a dark highway without a GPS: you know your destination ? a happy, healthy human being ? but you?re not sure whether you?re heading in the right direction.

Breaking out of the isolation of motherhood

There can be many reasons for mummy isolation ? and you don?t have to be a new mother to feel like you're often doing it all alone. Here, mums share their stories of feeling isolated, and what they do to try to break out of it.

The billionaire baby with $10,000 worth of prams

When money is no object you can go all out when it comes to baby transportation, as this billionaire socialite has shown.

Medication helps depressed mums to breastfeed

Breastfeeding mums are often told their medication may pass into their milk, but a new study suggests the benefits of taking antidepressants are greater than any risks to baby.

 

Free Printable Activities

Keeping little hands busy

Free printable acitivity pages like colouring in, cutting, word finders, mazes, maths activities and puzzles.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.