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At my wits ends with my 6.5yo DD


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#26 baddmammajamma

Posted 17 January 2013 - 01:33 AM

CC:

Like Karla, I am not professing any ability to diagnose anyone's child -- but as the mother of a 7-year-old girl with Aspergers, your post rings so many bells. In fact, I could have written it word for word after a party we attended in spring!

I took a quick look at your post history just to jog my memory, and I can see that you've been worried about your daughter's behavior for quite some time. And again, although I am totally unqualified to diagnose anything, a lot of your posts resonate with me very strongly.

I know from firsthand experience that some kids are complicated -- it might be because they have additional issues (identified or not) going on or that we as parents just haven't figured out the most effective way to mitigate their challenging behaviors. Or both!

Given that you've had concerns for a while, I echo the suggestions above that you seek some professional guidance. I would suggest a two-pronged approach (referrals can both come from your GP): (1) a good psych who can help you figure out what might be going on & help you devise tailored strategies for supporting your daughter (2) a good developmental paed who can look across your daughter's entire developmental profile.

If anything like Aspergers/some form of ASD is even a possible consideration, you will need both professionals to be involved in Victoria in terms of getting a proper assessment & diagnosis. For a variety of reasons, girls with ASD often go undetected.

You are likely to encounter a nice, long wait for developmental paeds because demand far exceeds supply. So it's a good idea to get the ball rolling, just in case.

Are you anywhere near Melbourne? There is an amazing psych practice there that specializes in girls/women with Aspergers/ASD and/or related social struggles. The lead practitioner (female) is a protege of Tony Attwood. I'd be happy to send you the information. They do formal assessments, one off "behavioral problem solving sessions" (might be a good way to test the waters), and social skills groups. There are other reputable psychologists, as well, who deal with issues extending beyond just ASD, and I'm sure that some parents on EB who have firsthand experience would happy to make recommendations via PM (the mums on the SNs board are a particularly knowledgeable crew  original.gif  ).

Please take a moment just to read through a few of these links. If nothing resonates with you & I am totally off base, I apologize...but I would be remiss for not putting it out there:

http://www.tonyattwood.com.au/index.php?op...&Itemid=720

http://www.inarkansas.com/article/family/3...ergers-syndrome

http://www.brighthubeducation.com/special-...rgers-syndrome/

Good luck. I really can relate to your pain and frustration. Regardless of what is causing this behavior, I hope you are able to get some valuable guidance and support soon.

Edited by baddmammajamma, 17 January 2013 - 07:29 AM.


#27 CCLady

Posted 17 January 2013 - 01:48 AM

QUOTE
It's like she needs to be reminded constantly what is expected of her.


This is my DS too (he's 6.5). Everything has to be explained over and over, he needs preparation for everything, he needs to know what is going to happen, he needs warning. "Shower is off in 3 minutes", "shower is off in one minute"... I wouldn't dream of going in and just saying "shower is over".  ffear.gif . He wouldn't cope well.

This is just one of our daily issues, we are hoping to get him tested this year with more access to support in the public school system (coming from catholic). I have worked SO HARD with him all year on my own for home life, he has improved so much but still melts down at least weekly.

Good luck OP, I would look into going back to the psych if you've had success in the past. We went last year and the one he saw was hopeless, had NO idea and 'blamed' me which is why i took a step back and worked with him myself...

#28 ~Karla~

Posted 17 January 2013 - 07:09 AM

I was hoping you were going to pop in BMJ. You word things so much more eloquently than I do. original.gif

#29 ChunkyChook

Posted 17 January 2013 - 07:51 AM

Thanks for all the info. I have a Drs appointment in the morning for me but will mention it to him. Will check out the links BJM.

This is why I love EB, I can't get other peoples experiences and support from people IRL. that is from such a diverse amount of mums.  wub.gif



#30 ChunkyChook

Posted 18 January 2013 - 01:25 PM

Dr doesn't think it is Aspergers but wrote a referral for the child psych again to find out his perspective. So will make an appointment for her.



#31 Kismama

Posted 18 January 2013 - 02:01 PM

Glad your GP was happy to refer you OP.

I found my GP had some very outdated info/beliefs about Aspergers - she completely missed the signs in my then-3-year-old and used a little checklist to rub my face in my wrong-ness....  (Meanwhile DD was wigging out at my feet!!)

Turns out, GP was wrong... and things are SO much easier around here now that I know what I'm dealing with.

Regardless of your outcome, I hope you can get to the bottom of why your daughter struggles with these things. It's such a load off when you realise what needs to happen to prevent things escalating!

#32 ~Karla~

Posted 18 January 2013 - 03:33 PM

My experience with my fabulous GP who I love was the same. Fact is, GP's are not qualified to diagnose (or not diagnose) things like Aspergers. That's why you need a good paed with a particular interest in ASD/Aspergers or a good Developmental paed. original.gif

Hopefully your psych has had some experience with ASD and can let you know if they see some red flags and think she does need the Dev Paed referral. Good luck. And feel free to pop into the SN board whenever you like. original.gif

#33 Mrs Optimus

Posted 18 January 2013 - 03:48 PM

Hi ChunkyChook,

Im with Karla on this one... your DD also reminds me of my DS who has Aspergers... he is 9 now and we have had heaps of different therapies/social skills groups etc with him and - whilst he still sometimes struggles - he is MUCH better now.

One of the things that helped is some social stories/strip stories that were written by his psych, they are about how to play with others, how to behave/act if someone doesnt want to play with you, why its ok to lose sometimes etc.. they were great for him and even if your DD is ASD they might help her understand.

I remember before his disagnoses a massive birthday party meltdown - he was 4 at the time.. therefore he had to have everything as 4 and when he didnt get the number 4 in a game he just couldnt handle it and started screaming and crying.... and in kindy he had a friend and to him she could only be his friend.... he went nuts if she spoke or played with anyone else...  sad.gif

Good luck with the Psych... a diagnoses (if that is the case) is NOT a bad thing... in fact for my DS is the best thing that could ever have happened to him... he gets so much help now and I 100% believe that without everything we have done for him he would be a completely different person today.   biggrin.gif

#34 baddmammajamma

Posted 18 January 2013 - 06:46 PM

QUOTE (ChunkyChook @ 18/01/2013, 02:25 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Dr doesn't think it is Aspergers but wrote a referral for the child psych again to find out his perspective. So will make an appointment for her.


As the others have said, GPs are not in the position to rule in or rule out something like Aspergers or other related issues. I'm glad to hear that your GP was willing to refer you on -- points to him for that!

My only other pieces of advice is to make sure that you are seeing a GOOD psychologist, hopefully one with a lot of experience with behavioral and developmental challenges in young girls. As with any profession, there are some awesome psychs out there & some duds. Make sure yours is the former and really listens to your concerns & connects well with your daughter. (If you need any specific recs, you know that the SNs Mum gang in Melbourne would be happy to comply original.gif ). And if I were you, I'd still be booking in with a good developmental paed, just to cover the bases.

I hope you are able to get some answers soon. Regardless of the underlying cause, it can be such a relief to figure out what's going on & develop steps to improve the situation. Good luck!!!!



#35 ChunkyChook

Posted 19 January 2013 - 09:29 AM

Thanks BMJ. I am a couple of hours from Melbourne but would be happy to travel down to see someone good.



#36 khunella

Posted 19 January 2013 - 01:50 PM

Being a 'spectrum' makes ASD is tough to diagnose. Normal kids sometimes show ASD symptoms and ASD kids sometimes act completely normally, which is why the diagnosis is so difficult and even a bit subjective. There are even kids who display only a single ASD behaviour eg. pronoun reversal, and no others at all! The other aspect of ASD I find really strange is that while its incidence has been steadily rising in the west, no-one knows whether this is because there's more of it around, or its just being measured better now. I read the other day that DSM (the manual of mental illness) is taking 'autism' and Asperger's Syndrome out and replacing them with ASD. It's certainly an evolving part of medicine! Thankfully there's so much more support now - can you imagine how hard it must have been 20 years ago, when the disorder was barely recognised?

Edited by khunella, 19 January 2013 - 01:51 PM.





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