Jump to content

Do ppl know you are TTC?


  • Please log in to reply
20 replies to this topic

#1 ~polly~

Posted 16 January 2013 - 11:14 AM

I'm currently TTC#1 and have been quite secretive about this.  I dont like lying to ppl so when Im asked about when Im going to have a baby I usually say a vague answer like 'I dont know' or 'not for a while' (9+ months is while right  Tounge1.gif ).

I know lots of ppl approach TTC differently so have you told ppl you're TTC?  Are ppl supportive or annoying (asking if you're pg yet, watching everything you drink/eat)?

Edited by Pippa26, 16 January 2013 - 11:14 AM.


#2 Mrs Lost Wanderer

Posted 16 January 2013 - 11:25 AM

We didn't tell people we were trying in case it didn't happen but then we didn't announce we were pregnant until 12 weeks either.

I didn't want the questions like "Are you pregnant yet??" if we ended up having trouble conceiving or having to untell everyone if we announced and then lost it early. And I hate drawing attention to myself as well.

#3 Rainbow*Seeking

Posted 16 January 2013 - 11:28 AM

Nope, we didn't tell anyone and just kept it to ourselves.
If we do again, it will be the same thing. Just Dh and I and again I won't be telling anyone I'm pregnant till 16 weeks.

#4 PrincessPeach

Posted 16 January 2013 - 11:28 AM

I was going to say no & then realised we have told a few people we are TTC. When asked, we tell people children are on the radar, but just not at the moment.

Thankfully the people we have told are not asking us every second if we are pregnant. They know quite well we will tell when we are ready.

#5 la di dah

Posted 16 January 2013 - 11:33 AM

My parents and siblings know. My gyno knows (she's a person, right?) and a couple girlfriends know. Aside from that and EB-peeps, no.

I haven't had a direct "we tryin' to TTC!" with DH's parents but we've talked about hypothetical children and blah blah blah so since we've been married several years I assume they know what could happen.

#6 Escapin

Posted 16 January 2013 - 11:35 AM

We didn't tell anyone. In fact, quite the opposite, everyone thought we'd decided not to have kids. Was MUCH easier for me as I didn't get bugged about it by anyone, and if I had an orange juice at lunch I didn't have everyone staring at my tummy. If people did ask if/when we were going to have kids, I'd just say 'not this week' and laugh it off.

#7 PrincessPeach

Posted 16 January 2013 - 11:45 AM

QUOTE (Escapin @ 16/01/2013, 11:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
if I had an orange juice at lunch I didn't have everyone staring at my tummy.


See I don't drink & never have, so I don't actully have this problem either.

#8 MrsLexiK

Posted 16 January 2013 - 11:46 AM

We did, but I have issues which hamper fertility and we didn't want to hear the "when are you having kids" as we assumed (along with my dr) that we would need some assistance (which we were not going to seek for 2 years) We also announced to our family at about 5/6 weeks and to our friends at 9 or 10 weeks. Reason being we were seeing majority of our friends due to two parties on the same weekend so we could tell them in person, and also we had seen the heart beat 3 weeks ago and whilst I had a subchronic heamotoma to us it was very real and these are people we would have told had we had a miscarriage. We told our wider circle and made it Facebook official at 12 weeks.

#9 Satay Chicken

Posted 16 January 2013 - 11:53 AM

DH and I made a bit of a joke about it when we started TTC conceive thinking it would happen within a couple of months...

Fast forward three years and IVF, we eventually got there... worst thing we ever did telling people, alot of my friends became uncomfortable around me and often were not sure what to say - I felt very abandoned at times.

So, if I were you, keep it quiet as long as you can, you don't need the pressure.

#10 ~Peaches~

Posted 16 January 2013 - 12:42 PM

We didn't tell anyone when we were TTC #1, I didn't want people asking me all the time if I was pregnant yet.
I did tell a few close friends when I was 6 weeks pregnant, only to have a miscarriage at 9 weeks, so then had to un-tell them sad.gif Made me glad I hadn't told our familes or other friends yet.
So then those same friends obviously knew we would be TTC again.

This time around I have only told my 2 best friends we are TTC, as they've both been pregnant in the last year and told me straight away (one of them even told me before she told her husband lol!) so I know I can trust them and they won't be asking me if I'm pregnant every 5 minutes. I personally prefer not telling people when we are TTC, as if they know it makes me feel a bit more pressure for it to happen quickly, when we actually have no say in when it's going to happen original.gif

Edited by ~Peaches~, 16 January 2013 - 01:01 PM.


#11 *melrose*

Posted 16 January 2013 - 12:45 PM

Nope we were not telling anyone, when it happens we will. wink.gif

#12 RogzCilla

Posted 16 January 2013 - 01:28 PM

For #1 we didnt tell anyone, we were just married so it might have been obvious! This time round for #2 we are keeping it to ourselves again, except I have told a close friend, only for support (as this is taking longer than I expected). When people ask when we are having another, I have just said, hopefully this year sometime, vague but not lying either original.gif not that there is anything wrong with lying about it, it is, quite frankly, no one elses business but you and your DP.

#13 namie

Posted 16 January 2013 - 01:42 PM

We didn't tell anyone with DS1. We're not married so we weren't getting 'when will you have kids?' questions so it was quite easy.
It felt weird to me to announce it actually. You're effectively letting people know that yes, you will be having lots of sex over the coming months.

We also didn't tell anyone until we were past the 12 week check. I knew I wouldn't cope very well if family got all excited about having a baby and then I had to break the news to them that actually the grandchild/niece/nephew wouldn't be arriving after all. I knew I'd tell them if I did miscarry but at least they would feel sad for me and support me through it, rather than feel sad for themselves,which would make me feel like I'd let them down.

My sister didn't get it at all and when we announced our pregnancy with DS1 (in person with all my closest family there as 12 weeks coincided with the Easter holiday) she was quite offended that I hadn't at least told her! Which of course made things all about her, the reason I hadn't mentioned it earlier!

With DS2 a few close friends knew of the planning and my Mother's Group knew of the pregnancy early on, but no one else until after 12 weeks.

#14 Gemcat

Posted 16 January 2013 - 04:24 PM

I would never tell family (even though mum is DESPERATE for grandkids). It would just be "Are you pregnant yet?! Are you pregnant yet?!" all the time.

We get asked a fair bit if we're planning to have kids soon. I have to lie and say "maybe... we're not really thinking about it yet" while inside I'm screaming "YES! WE"RE TRYING BUT IT'S NOT WORKING!!!". Or I have to pretend that I don't want kids to stop them asking again. It's awful!

I have told my best friend and it's wonderful to hear about her TTC frustrations (she also had a MC before having her first, so I know if I do ever have one she will be the best shoulder to cry on).

At 33, there aren't many friends left that don't already have kids. So EB is my safe space for venting for sure!

#15 Bedge

Posted 16 January 2013 - 04:32 PM

Quite a few people know ... my close friends, parents, my cousin, and a couple of my clients (as I am very close with some of my clients .. and they are actually friends, who happen to pay me money. ha!). I am a very open person by nature.

They are all very supportive ... most have kiddies of their own, and had to go through all sorts to 'get' their kiddies, so its great to be able to have an open chat and learn from their experiences and share where I am at.

#16 erindiv

Posted 16 January 2013 - 04:35 PM

We told people the first time, but not the second time.

Am I the only one who thinks it's rude to ask people if they're TTC?  unsure.gif

#17 Mrs.Bee

Posted 16 January 2013 - 04:37 PM

We are keeping it to ourselves, not telling a sole (except GP for health issues).
We made it very clear when we were married that we would be waiting for 5 years before even thinking about TCC so we didnt get asked often BUT now we have been married for over 5 years and people are starting to ask. i just have a giggle and make some vague responses to any questions.
In theory we dont plan to share our news till 12 weeks but my husband cannot hold water in a cup - so we will see how that pans out if we are fortunate to fall... =)

#18 momerath

Posted 16 January 2013 - 04:56 PM

There are at least six couples in our group of friends who are TTC #1, including us, so lots of people know! Hopefully it won't bite us in the bum if there are problems, so far it has been a very supportive and informative situation.
My parents do not know, but assume we must be and have been hassling me since our wedding only a few months ago. "Are you pregnant yet? Why not? What's WRONG??!!!" We won't be telling them that we are actively TTC until I am 12 weeks, regardless of how long that takes.

#19 Magnus

Posted 16 January 2013 - 05:00 PM

At the moment we're trying to TTC- so haven't actually begun the IUIs yet, although we've got a donor and DP has done all the tests and we've done the counselling. We just need the donations and to wait out the quarantine period. So we should be able to begin the IUI in June.

We've told my mum and DPs mum and DPs sister and my sister and brother and nearly all of our friends that we're planning to have a baby. We've been planning for years, though, so they're probably wondering why we're taking so long. I don't really want to inform them about all the finer points of TTC through ART, though. They can just assume that we had other priorities instead, or decided to wait til we had better jobs, etc., or anything else they like.

I would love to not tell anyone til the 12 week point when/if we get pregnant, but I think DP wants to tell people. I don't want to tell anyone the sex, either, so we don't get lots of pastel pink and blue, but I think DP might want to tell people.

#20 HRH Countrymel

Posted 16 January 2013 - 05:07 PM

I doubt it.. most people think we are 'childless by choice' and it wouldn't occur to them that we were trying "at our age'...

I was forced to tell my family about the IVF due to a family tragedy - however that was so long ago now I assume they think we've given up.

3 people knew about my miscarriage and two of them was by accident (called me at the wrong time and asked why I was crying).

I am a private person......

#21 PatG

Posted 16 January 2013 - 05:16 PM

I've had a discussion with several close friends and my sister about general plans for when we might think about trying to have kids, in the context of them and their children mostly.  None of them are the type to be asking if I'm pregnant - I think they understand I'd tell them when I was ready.  

I think it is rude to ask if/when people are having kids for the sake of gossip but with close friends it can come up in conversation without being rude.


1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

What you need to know about pregnancy and health insurance

It's not just waiting periods that couples need to consider - there are other factors to consider when thinking about health insurance.

Yummy mummy

Nicole Trunfio breastfeeds baby on Elle magazine cover

Australian model Nicole Trunfio has taken the concept of multitasking to a fashionable new level for Elle Australia.

Warnings after baby girl died while sleeping in bouncer

Parents have been warned about the dangers of letting babies sleep in bouncers and swings following the death of a three-month-old girl.

Coping with fatigue as a parent

Sleep deprivation is a real hazard of caring for a baby. But there are ways to manage the challenges of fatigue better.

A very 21st century issue: parents, parks and smart phones

It's not all the parents, and it's not all the time, but there is often at least one doing it. And sometimes, that 'one' is me.

Appliances

Faulty washing machines linked to house fires

More than 80,000 faulty Samsung washing machines pose a fire threat in homes throughout Australia despite a nationwide recall of the machines.

'I had a lotus birth and I loved it'

Lotus birthing is not all that common, but for a number of women it feels like the most natural thing to do.

7 things you might not know about postnatal depression

Despite its widespread nature, there is still a great amount of mystery surrounding PND - and it's important to try unravelling as much of that as we can.

Is your family's car part of the world's biggest safety recall?

More than 50 million vehicles recalled for potentially lethal airbag fault - is your car affected?

Why drinking water can be deadly for babies

H2O is one of the necessities of life, but for babies a seemingly harmless amount of water can be fatal.

Mother-in-law faceplants during proposal

He had it all planned: a romantic proposal on a windswept beach. The whole family would be there so they'd all be able to celebrate the joyous moment together.

A preschooler suddenly goes mute - and it's not just shyness

When our son stopped talking, our sense of loss was painful and acute.

The mums who ask for a 'wife bonus'

They run their homes like domestic CEOs and work tirelessly to improve their family's social standing. And now, according to a new book, they want an annual perk from their husbands.

Woman shares photo of dimple on breast to warn others of cancer risk

A widely-shared Facebook photograph of a British woman's breast has raised awareness of a more subtle breast cancer symptom.

Starting a family despite a low sperm count

"I'd never really failed a test - how could I fail this particularly manly test?"

It's official: we must better protect our kids from toxic lead exposure

New guidelines have been released, aimed at reducing children's harmful exposure to lead. But they still don't go far enough.

Trouble-shooting toddler social skills

Chances are your toddler's behaviour is all completely normal - but here's how to tackle some common social problems.

Helping your first-born welcome a sibling

We did sigh with joy at the arrival of a royal princess - but, mostly, we sighed with pity at the sight of Prince George being taken to meet her.

Farewell, daytime nap

I've been in denial and I'm not too proud to beg, but it appears I must accept the fact that you have gone. I need to let you go.

The identical triplets who are one in 50 million

The father of identical triplets born in a Texas hospital says his three daughters, including conjoined twins, are "a miracle" sent by God.

Seven questions you should be asking about your health cover

If the last time you assessed your health cover was five years ago, there?s a chance it may no longer suit your needs. To ensure it?s still right for your family, click here for seven questions to ask.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

How to use gas effectively in labour

Many women in labour don't use gas effectively and suffer more side effects than benefits. Here's how to get the most out of this pain relief option.

'He has gastro but that's okay, right?': sick kid etiquette

We cannot place all children who are sick in a bubble till they recover, but we can give other parents a choice about exposing their kids to them.

Ada Nicodemou: 'I can never be completely happy again'

Home and Away actress Ada Nicodemou has opened up about the loss of her stillborn baby.

10 things to consider when you're thinking about trying for a baby

Before you start tracking your menstrual cycle and reading up on the best positions to get pregnant, there are a few other things you may want to consider.

How special surgery and IVF can create a post-vasectomy baby

Cricket legend Glenn McGrath and his second wife Sara are expecting their first child together, thanks to IVF and a delicate surgical sperm retrieval process that helped the couple to conceive.

Belle Gibson's mother 'disgusted and embarrassed'

The mother of disgraced wellness blogger Belle Gibson has accused her daughter of lying about her childhood in an attempt to garner public sympathy.

Doctor's mobile phone 'left inside c-section mum'

A new mum claims a doctor left his mobile phone inside her after delivering her baby via caesarean section.

I'm a mum and I'm following my dreams

I want my kids to know that no matter what happens in life, you can still be who it is that you've always wanted to be.

Those first daycare days

I had this innate 'mum' moment the other day.

'If one person had listened, my life would have been so different'

Katherine's father will die in prison for the horrifying sexual abuse of his daughter. Yet she is the one with the true life sentence.

This new plan undermines breastfeeding and baby health at everyone's expense

Mothers, babies, the health system and the wider society are going to pay the price of this new budget.

Couple to celebrate terminally ill baby's birthday in unique way

Baby Jai Bishop has lived at Starship Hospital for the past seven months, with his parents flying back and forth from Hokitika, 1100km away, to be by his side.

Life On Mars

It's men who need 'retraining', not women

We are all responsible for our own behaviour. Telling victims to harden up is wrong.

Baby Gammy's dad tries to claim charity money

The biological father of baby Gammy has reportedly tried to access charity money raised for the little boy's medical costs.

Where are the childcare places?

It?s all very well to encourage women to work if they choose to, but how can the measures lead to increased workforce participation when women are once again left holding the baby?

The pain of not having babies and not knowing why

After seven years of wishing, hoping, crying, punching pillows and shouting "why me?!", the end result is more than I ever thought possible.

Getting your family finances in order

Whether you're after a new car for a growing family, a bigger house, or are just fixing up your finances, here are the basics on borrowing.

Mum shares graphic selfie to warn against tanning

A mum has shared a graphic photo of her skin cancer treatment as a warning to others.

Does parenthood make us happier?

We can certainly gain higher levels of happiness when we become parents, but the trick is to not get overwhelmed by the pressures of raising our kids.

No, having a dog is not like having a human child

It's obvious these people dote on their pets, but they're barking up the wrong tree.

 

Top baby names

Baby Names

The numbers are in and we can now bring you the 2014 top baby name list for Australia.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.