Jump to content

Do ppl know you are TTC?


  • Please log in to reply
20 replies to this topic

#1 ~polly~

Posted 16 January 2013 - 11:14 AM

I'm currently TTC#1 and have been quite secretive about this.  I dont like lying to ppl so when Im asked about when Im going to have a baby I usually say a vague answer like 'I dont know' or 'not for a while' (9+ months is while right  Tounge1.gif ).

I know lots of ppl approach TTC differently so have you told ppl you're TTC?  Are ppl supportive or annoying (asking if you're pg yet, watching everything you drink/eat)?

Edited by Pippa26, 16 January 2013 - 11:14 AM.


#2 Mrs Lost Wanderer

Posted 16 January 2013 - 11:25 AM

We didn't tell people we were trying in case it didn't happen but then we didn't announce we were pregnant until 12 weeks either.

I didn't want the questions like "Are you pregnant yet??" if we ended up having trouble conceiving or having to untell everyone if we announced and then lost it early. And I hate drawing attention to myself as well.

#3 Rainbow*Seeking

Posted 16 January 2013 - 11:28 AM

Nope, we didn't tell anyone and just kept it to ourselves.
If we do again, it will be the same thing. Just Dh and I and again I won't be telling anyone I'm pregnant till 16 weeks.

#4 PrincessPeach

Posted 16 January 2013 - 11:28 AM

I was going to say no & then realised we have told a few people we are TTC. When asked, we tell people children are on the radar, but just not at the moment.

Thankfully the people we have told are not asking us every second if we are pregnant. They know quite well we will tell when we are ready.

#5 la di dah

Posted 16 January 2013 - 11:33 AM

My parents and siblings know. My gyno knows (she's a person, right?) and a couple girlfriends know. Aside from that and EB-peeps, no.

I haven't had a direct "we tryin' to TTC!" with DH's parents but we've talked about hypothetical children and blah blah blah so since we've been married several years I assume they know what could happen.

#6 Escapin

Posted 16 January 2013 - 11:35 AM

We didn't tell anyone. In fact, quite the opposite, everyone thought we'd decided not to have kids. Was MUCH easier for me as I didn't get bugged about it by anyone, and if I had an orange juice at lunch I didn't have everyone staring at my tummy. If people did ask if/when we were going to have kids, I'd just say 'not this week' and laugh it off.

#7 PrincessPeach

Posted 16 January 2013 - 11:45 AM

QUOTE (Escapin @ 16/01/2013, 11:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
if I had an orange juice at lunch I didn't have everyone staring at my tummy.


See I don't drink & never have, so I don't actully have this problem either.

#8 MrsLexiK

Posted 16 January 2013 - 11:46 AM

We did, but I have issues which hamper fertility and we didn't want to hear the "when are you having kids" as we assumed (along with my dr) that we would need some assistance (which we were not going to seek for 2 years) We also announced to our family at about 5/6 weeks and to our friends at 9 or 10 weeks. Reason being we were seeing majority of our friends due to two parties on the same weekend so we could tell them in person, and also we had seen the heart beat 3 weeks ago and whilst I had a subchronic heamotoma to us it was very real and these are people we would have told had we had a miscarriage. We told our wider circle and made it Facebook official at 12 weeks.

#9 Satay Chicken

Posted 16 January 2013 - 11:53 AM

DH and I made a bit of a joke about it when we started TTC conceive thinking it would happen within a couple of months...

Fast forward three years and IVF, we eventually got there... worst thing we ever did telling people, alot of my friends became uncomfortable around me and often were not sure what to say - I felt very abandoned at times.

So, if I were you, keep it quiet as long as you can, you don't need the pressure.

#10 ~Peaches~

Posted 16 January 2013 - 12:42 PM

We didn't tell anyone when we were TTC #1, I didn't want people asking me all the time if I was pregnant yet.
I did tell a few close friends when I was 6 weeks pregnant, only to have a miscarriage at 9 weeks, so then had to un-tell them sad.gif Made me glad I hadn't told our familes or other friends yet.
So then those same friends obviously knew we would be TTC again.

This time around I have only told my 2 best friends we are TTC, as they've both been pregnant in the last year and told me straight away (one of them even told me before she told her husband lol!) so I know I can trust them and they won't be asking me if I'm pregnant every 5 minutes. I personally prefer not telling people when we are TTC, as if they know it makes me feel a bit more pressure for it to happen quickly, when we actually have no say in when it's going to happen original.gif

Edited by ~Peaches~, 16 January 2013 - 01:01 PM.


#11 *melrose*

Posted 16 January 2013 - 12:45 PM

Nope we were not telling anyone, when it happens we will. wink.gif

#12 RogzCilla

Posted 16 January 2013 - 01:28 PM

For #1 we didnt tell anyone, we were just married so it might have been obvious! This time round for #2 we are keeping it to ourselves again, except I have told a close friend, only for support (as this is taking longer than I expected). When people ask when we are having another, I have just said, hopefully this year sometime, vague but not lying either original.gif not that there is anything wrong with lying about it, it is, quite frankly, no one elses business but you and your DP.

#13 namie

Posted 16 January 2013 - 01:42 PM

We didn't tell anyone with DS1. We're not married so we weren't getting 'when will you have kids?' questions so it was quite easy.
It felt weird to me to announce it actually. You're effectively letting people know that yes, you will be having lots of sex over the coming months.

We also didn't tell anyone until we were past the 12 week check. I knew I wouldn't cope very well if family got all excited about having a baby and then I had to break the news to them that actually the grandchild/niece/nephew wouldn't be arriving after all. I knew I'd tell them if I did miscarry but at least they would feel sad for me and support me through it, rather than feel sad for themselves,which would make me feel like I'd let them down.

My sister didn't get it at all and when we announced our pregnancy with DS1 (in person with all my closest family there as 12 weeks coincided with the Easter holiday) she was quite offended that I hadn't at least told her! Which of course made things all about her, the reason I hadn't mentioned it earlier!

With DS2 a few close friends knew of the planning and my Mother's Group knew of the pregnancy early on, but no one else until after 12 weeks.

#14 Gemcat

Posted 16 January 2013 - 04:24 PM

I would never tell family (even though mum is DESPERATE for grandkids). It would just be "Are you pregnant yet?! Are you pregnant yet?!" all the time.

We get asked a fair bit if we're planning to have kids soon. I have to lie and say "maybe... we're not really thinking about it yet" while inside I'm screaming "YES! WE"RE TRYING BUT IT'S NOT WORKING!!!". Or I have to pretend that I don't want kids to stop them asking again. It's awful!

I have told my best friend and it's wonderful to hear about her TTC frustrations (she also had a MC before having her first, so I know if I do ever have one she will be the best shoulder to cry on).

At 33, there aren't many friends left that don't already have kids. So EB is my safe space for venting for sure!

#15 Bedge

Posted 16 January 2013 - 04:32 PM

Quite a few people know ... my close friends, parents, my cousin, and a couple of my clients (as I am very close with some of my clients .. and they are actually friends, who happen to pay me money. ha!). I am a very open person by nature.

They are all very supportive ... most have kiddies of their own, and had to go through all sorts to 'get' their kiddies, so its great to be able to have an open chat and learn from their experiences and share where I am at.

#16 erindiv

Posted 16 January 2013 - 04:35 PM

We told people the first time, but not the second time.

Am I the only one who thinks it's rude to ask people if they're TTC?  unsure.gif

#17 Mrs.Bee

Posted 16 January 2013 - 04:37 PM

We are keeping it to ourselves, not telling a sole (except GP for health issues).
We made it very clear when we were married that we would be waiting for 5 years before even thinking about TCC so we didnt get asked often BUT now we have been married for over 5 years and people are starting to ask. i just have a giggle and make some vague responses to any questions.
In theory we dont plan to share our news till 12 weeks but my husband cannot hold water in a cup - so we will see how that pans out if we are fortunate to fall... =)

#18 momerath

Posted 16 January 2013 - 04:56 PM

There are at least six couples in our group of friends who are TTC #1, including us, so lots of people know! Hopefully it won't bite us in the bum if there are problems, so far it has been a very supportive and informative situation.
My parents do not know, but assume we must be and have been hassling me since our wedding only a few months ago. "Are you pregnant yet? Why not? What's WRONG??!!!" We won't be telling them that we are actively TTC until I am 12 weeks, regardless of how long that takes.

#19 Magnus

Posted 16 January 2013 - 05:00 PM

At the moment we're trying to TTC- so haven't actually begun the IUIs yet, although we've got a donor and DP has done all the tests and we've done the counselling. We just need the donations and to wait out the quarantine period. So we should be able to begin the IUI in June.

We've told my mum and DPs mum and DPs sister and my sister and brother and nearly all of our friends that we're planning to have a baby. We've been planning for years, though, so they're probably wondering why we're taking so long. I don't really want to inform them about all the finer points of TTC through ART, though. They can just assume that we had other priorities instead, or decided to wait til we had better jobs, etc., or anything else they like.

I would love to not tell anyone til the 12 week point when/if we get pregnant, but I think DP wants to tell people. I don't want to tell anyone the sex, either, so we don't get lots of pastel pink and blue, but I think DP might want to tell people.

#20 HRH Countrymel

Posted 16 January 2013 - 05:07 PM

I doubt it.. most people think we are 'childless by choice' and it wouldn't occur to them that we were trying "at our age'...

I was forced to tell my family about the IVF due to a family tragedy - however that was so long ago now I assume they think we've given up.

3 people knew about my miscarriage and two of them was by accident (called me at the wrong time and asked why I was crying).

I am a private person......

#21 PatG

Posted 16 January 2013 - 05:16 PM

I've had a discussion with several close friends and my sister about general plans for when we might think about trying to have kids, in the context of them and their children mostly.  None of them are the type to be asking if I'm pregnant - I think they understand I'd tell them when I was ready.  

I think it is rude to ask if/when people are having kids for the sake of gossip but with close friends it can come up in conversation without being rude.


1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Wondersuit heaven: Bonds & Disney launch exclusive collection

Bonds and Disney fans with babies to buy for will be celebrating this news. Bonds and Disney have just released collaboration Wondersuits.

Town welcomes first baby in 28 years

Since the 1980s, the Italian town of Ostana had not seen the birth of a single baby.

Great-great-grandma delivers great grandchild in her own home

''I've delivered calves, lambs, dogs and cats, but nothing like this.'' This 'Super Gran' calmly peeled the amniotic sac over her great-grandson's head before discovering the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck ... twice.

How to start teaching your kids road safety

It's something that can be taught as early as possible and reinforced as they get older and more mobile - even from toddlerhood.

Just announced: Bugaboo Cameleon³ Classic+ Collection update

Meet the brand new understated chic model from Bugaboo.

The emotional moment a mum hears her late son's heartbeat

It's been two and a half years since Heather Clark's seven-month-old son Lukas passed away.

Nine reasons why you have 'brain fog'

One minute your productivity is skyrocketing and the next you're sitting there trying to focus – just like that you draw blank, your brain, mush.

I had a caesarean and it was beautiful

Guess what? Despite not pushing him out, I cried, and my heart skipped, and I felt the rush of love and pride when I saw him for the first time.

Microcephaly still a mysterious condition around the world

For parents, having a child with microcephaly can mean a life of uncertainty.

7 baby firsts you won't see on milestone charts

Here are a few 'other' baby firsts you may not have been expecting, but you'll want to be ready for.

Why it's important to vaccinate on time

My son was born on the 1 July 2014. It's a fabulous birthday, don't you think? Not only does the first of July ring in a new financial year, but it also means we've hit the year's half way mark.

Naturopath treatment allegedly left baby "days from death"

A naturopath whose treatment of a baby boy allegedly led to the infant being severely ill has pleaded not guilty to charges against her. 

Andy Murray's emotional speech to pregnant wife after Australian Open

A teary-eyed Andy Murray promised pregnant wife Kim he'd be on the next plane home after his turbulent two weeks at the Australian Open came to an end.

This toddler and his duck BFF will melt your heart

A small boy in the US has struck up a quacking good friendship with an unlikely companion ... his pet duck. 

Great news for coffee drinkers - caffeine is good for your heart

Researchers have found that, contrary to prior belief, caffeine does not cause health-threatening heart palpitations.

I always wanted children - but I've found other ways to be maternal

I've always been one of the most maternal women I know.

When only one parent wants to know the gender

For some couples you either both want to know the gender of your unborn baby, or you don't. For others, it's not that simple.

'No jab no play' could hurt disadvantaged children, experts fear

Tough new "no jab no play" laws could hurt children who have not been immunised due to family dysfunction, poverty, or poor access to medical support, experts warn.

Zika virus: Airlines offer refunds to pregnant women

Airlines and cruise companies across the world are offering refunds or travel credits to pregnant women who are scheduled to visit countries struck by the devastating Zika virus.

#meditateonthis: Mums fight back against PND ignorance

Not all women will require medication, but many will. And there isn't and shouldn't be any shame in that.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Penny Wong

'The most hurtful argument in the marriage equality debate'

Labor frontbencher Penny Wong is used to to hearing arguments against same-sex marriage. But for Australia's most prominent gay politician, one hurts more than others.

Does exercise have to be fun to work?

Some things in life are inherently served with a big scoop of fun: balloons, bubbles, cupcakes to name but a few, but exercise?

Hair dye gives woman second-degree burns

She wanted a fresh colour for 2016, but instead she got chemical burns.

Kelly Slater saves mum and toddler from 'freak wave'

A Perth family has thanked US surfing "legend" Kelly Slater after the star saved a mother and a young toddler from "a freak wave" in Hawaii.

Apple recalls millions of power adapters

Tech giant instigates massive international recall of power point adapters due to risk of electric shock.

Toddler's adorable alphabet goes viral

It's impossible not to share this little boy's excitement  about the alphabet.

Tot's nighttime waking saves family's life

Like all tired parents, Monique and Kyle Ruppel were looking forward to the day their 15-month-old daughter Celia would start sleeping through the night. 

Australian mum gives birth to quintuplets

An Australian mum who has shared the ups and downs of carrying quintuplets has welcomed her five babies into the world.

Dad of four girls faints at gender reveal for fifth baby

It was all too much excitement for this dad.

The simple way you can help your baby's language development

The way parents respond to their child's babbling can shape how their infants communicate.

Zika virus is 'spreading explosively': WHO

The World Health Organization announced that it will convene an emergency meeting about Zika.

National database recommended for child protection cases

Baby Ebony was repeatedly failed by the agencies tasked with her protection before her horrific death at the hands of her father, South Australia's deputy coroner says.

Hospitals put babies at risk by ignoring policy on elective caesareans

Thirty-eight weeks or 39? Non-medical factors are pushing women to have elective caesareans earlier than official guidelines - and hospitals are playing along.

Police help deliver baby on busy roadside

Two police officers delivered more than a traffic fine by the side of a busy Melbourne road yesterday.

1D's Louis Tomlinson shares first photo of baby

One Direction's Louis Tomlinson has posted the first picture of his baby boy, Freddie, on social media.

 

FREE TICKET

Free first aid demonstrations daily

Get your free ticket to the Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.