Jump to content

Do ppl know you are TTC?

  • Please log in to reply
20 replies to this topic

#1 ~polly~

Posted 16 January 2013 - 11:14 AM

I'm currently TTC#1 and have been quite secretive about this.  I dont like lying to ppl so when Im asked about when Im going to have a baby I usually say a vague answer like 'I dont know' or 'not for a while' (9+ months is while right  Tounge1.gif ).

I know lots of ppl approach TTC differently so have you told ppl you're TTC?  Are ppl supportive or annoying (asking if you're pg yet, watching everything you drink/eat)?

Edited by Pippa26, 16 January 2013 - 11:14 AM.

#2 Mrs Lost Wanderer

Posted 16 January 2013 - 11:25 AM

We didn't tell people we were trying in case it didn't happen but then we didn't announce we were pregnant until 12 weeks either.

I didn't want the questions like "Are you pregnant yet??" if we ended up having trouble conceiving or having to untell everyone if we announced and then lost it early. And I hate drawing attention to myself as well.

#3 Rainbow*Seeking

Posted 16 January 2013 - 11:28 AM

Nope, we didn't tell anyone and just kept it to ourselves.
If we do again, it will be the same thing. Just Dh and I and again I won't be telling anyone I'm pregnant till 16 weeks.

#4 PrincessPeach

Posted 16 January 2013 - 11:28 AM

I was going to say no & then realised we have told a few people we are TTC. When asked, we tell people children are on the radar, but just not at the moment.

Thankfully the people we have told are not asking us every second if we are pregnant. They know quite well we will tell when we are ready.

#5 la di dah

Posted 16 January 2013 - 11:33 AM

My parents and siblings know. My gyno knows (she's a person, right?) and a couple girlfriends know. Aside from that and EB-peeps, no.

I haven't had a direct "we tryin' to TTC!" with DH's parents but we've talked about hypothetical children and blah blah blah so since we've been married several years I assume they know what could happen.

#6 Escapin

Posted 16 January 2013 - 11:35 AM

We didn't tell anyone. In fact, quite the opposite, everyone thought we'd decided not to have kids. Was MUCH easier for me as I didn't get bugged about it by anyone, and if I had an orange juice at lunch I didn't have everyone staring at my tummy. If people did ask if/when we were going to have kids, I'd just say 'not this week' and laugh it off.

#7 PrincessPeach

Posted 16 January 2013 - 11:45 AM

QUOTE (Escapin @ 16/01/2013, 11:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
if I had an orange juice at lunch I didn't have everyone staring at my tummy.

See I don't drink & never have, so I don't actully have this problem either.

#8 MrsLexiK

Posted 16 January 2013 - 11:46 AM

We did, but I have issues which hamper fertility and we didn't want to hear the "when are you having kids" as we assumed (along with my dr) that we would need some assistance (which we were not going to seek for 2 years) We also announced to our family at about 5/6 weeks and to our friends at 9 or 10 weeks. Reason being we were seeing majority of our friends due to two parties on the same weekend so we could tell them in person, and also we had seen the heart beat 3 weeks ago and whilst I had a subchronic heamotoma to us it was very real and these are people we would have told had we had a miscarriage. We told our wider circle and made it Facebook official at 12 weeks.

#9 Satay Chicken

Posted 16 January 2013 - 11:53 AM

DH and I made a bit of a joke about it when we started TTC conceive thinking it would happen within a couple of months...

Fast forward three years and IVF, we eventually got there... worst thing we ever did telling people, alot of my friends became uncomfortable around me and often were not sure what to say - I felt very abandoned at times.

So, if I were you, keep it quiet as long as you can, you don't need the pressure.

#10 ~Peaches~

Posted 16 January 2013 - 12:42 PM

We didn't tell anyone when we were TTC #1, I didn't want people asking me all the time if I was pregnant yet.
I did tell a few close friends when I was 6 weeks pregnant, only to have a miscarriage at 9 weeks, so then had to un-tell them sad.gif Made me glad I hadn't told our familes or other friends yet.
So then those same friends obviously knew we would be TTC again.

This time around I have only told my 2 best friends we are TTC, as they've both been pregnant in the last year and told me straight away (one of them even told me before she told her husband lol!) so I know I can trust them and they won't be asking me if I'm pregnant every 5 minutes. I personally prefer not telling people when we are TTC, as if they know it makes me feel a bit more pressure for it to happen quickly, when we actually have no say in when it's going to happen original.gif

Edited by ~Peaches~, 16 January 2013 - 01:01 PM.

#11 *melrose*

Posted 16 January 2013 - 12:45 PM

Nope we were not telling anyone, when it happens we will. wink.gif

#12 RogzCilla

Posted 16 January 2013 - 01:28 PM

For #1 we didnt tell anyone, we were just married so it might have been obvious! This time round for #2 we are keeping it to ourselves again, except I have told a close friend, only for support (as this is taking longer than I expected). When people ask when we are having another, I have just said, hopefully this year sometime, vague but not lying either original.gif not that there is anything wrong with lying about it, it is, quite frankly, no one elses business but you and your DP.

#13 namie

Posted 16 January 2013 - 01:42 PM

We didn't tell anyone with DS1. We're not married so we weren't getting 'when will you have kids?' questions so it was quite easy.
It felt weird to me to announce it actually. You're effectively letting people know that yes, you will be having lots of sex over the coming months.

We also didn't tell anyone until we were past the 12 week check. I knew I wouldn't cope very well if family got all excited about having a baby and then I had to break the news to them that actually the grandchild/niece/nephew wouldn't be arriving after all. I knew I'd tell them if I did miscarry but at least they would feel sad for me and support me through it, rather than feel sad for themselves,which would make me feel like I'd let them down.

My sister didn't get it at all and when we announced our pregnancy with DS1 (in person with all my closest family there as 12 weeks coincided with the Easter holiday) she was quite offended that I hadn't at least told her! Which of course made things all about her, the reason I hadn't mentioned it earlier!

With DS2 a few close friends knew of the planning and my Mother's Group knew of the pregnancy early on, but no one else until after 12 weeks.

#14 Gemcat

Posted 16 January 2013 - 04:24 PM

I would never tell family (even though mum is DESPERATE for grandkids). It would just be "Are you pregnant yet?! Are you pregnant yet?!" all the time.

We get asked a fair bit if we're planning to have kids soon. I have to lie and say "maybe... we're not really thinking about it yet" while inside I'm screaming "YES! WE"RE TRYING BUT IT'S NOT WORKING!!!". Or I have to pretend that I don't want kids to stop them asking again. It's awful!

I have told my best friend and it's wonderful to hear about her TTC frustrations (she also had a MC before having her first, so I know if I do ever have one she will be the best shoulder to cry on).

At 33, there aren't many friends left that don't already have kids. So EB is my safe space for venting for sure!

#15 Bedge

Posted 16 January 2013 - 04:32 PM

Quite a few people know ... my close friends, parents, my cousin, and a couple of my clients (as I am very close with some of my clients .. and they are actually friends, who happen to pay me money. ha!). I am a very open person by nature.

They are all very supportive ... most have kiddies of their own, and had to go through all sorts to 'get' their kiddies, so its great to be able to have an open chat and learn from their experiences and share where I am at.

#16 erindiv

Posted 16 January 2013 - 04:35 PM

We told people the first time, but not the second time.

Am I the only one who thinks it's rude to ask people if they're TTC?  unsure.gif

#17 Mrs.Bee

Posted 16 January 2013 - 04:37 PM

We are keeping it to ourselves, not telling a sole (except GP for health issues).
We made it very clear when we were married that we would be waiting for 5 years before even thinking about TCC so we didnt get asked often BUT now we have been married for over 5 years and people are starting to ask. i just have a giggle and make some vague responses to any questions.
In theory we dont plan to share our news till 12 weeks but my husband cannot hold water in a cup - so we will see how that pans out if we are fortunate to fall... =)

#18 momerath

Posted 16 January 2013 - 04:56 PM

There are at least six couples in our group of friends who are TTC #1, including us, so lots of people know! Hopefully it won't bite us in the bum if there are problems, so far it has been a very supportive and informative situation.
My parents do not know, but assume we must be and have been hassling me since our wedding only a few months ago. "Are you pregnant yet? Why not? What's WRONG??!!!" We won't be telling them that we are actively TTC until I am 12 weeks, regardless of how long that takes.

#19 Magnus

Posted 16 January 2013 - 05:00 PM

At the moment we're trying to TTC- so haven't actually begun the IUIs yet, although we've got a donor and DP has done all the tests and we've done the counselling. We just need the donations and to wait out the quarantine period. So we should be able to begin the IUI in June.

We've told my mum and DPs mum and DPs sister and my sister and brother and nearly all of our friends that we're planning to have a baby. We've been planning for years, though, so they're probably wondering why we're taking so long. I don't really want to inform them about all the finer points of TTC through ART, though. They can just assume that we had other priorities instead, or decided to wait til we had better jobs, etc., or anything else they like.

I would love to not tell anyone til the 12 week point when/if we get pregnant, but I think DP wants to tell people. I don't want to tell anyone the sex, either, so we don't get lots of pastel pink and blue, but I think DP might want to tell people.

#20 HRH Countrymel

Posted 16 January 2013 - 05:07 PM

I doubt it.. most people think we are 'childless by choice' and it wouldn't occur to them that we were trying "at our age'...

I was forced to tell my family about the IVF due to a family tragedy - however that was so long ago now I assume they think we've given up.

3 people knew about my miscarriage and two of them was by accident (called me at the wrong time and asked why I was crying).

I am a private person......

#21 PatG

Posted 16 January 2013 - 05:16 PM

I've had a discussion with several close friends and my sister about general plans for when we might think about trying to have kids, in the context of them and their children mostly.  None of them are the type to be asking if I'm pregnant - I think they understand I'd tell them when I was ready.  

I think it is rude to ask if/when people are having kids for the sake of gossip but with close friends it can come up in conversation without being rude.

1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users


How a raisin can predict a toddler's IQ

All you need to assess a child's future intelligence is a plastic cup and a raisin, according to new research.

Kate Walsh: 'I can't have kids'

Grey's Anatomy star Kate Walsh has revealed she is unable to have children because she has experienced early menopause.

The parasite that could boost fertility

The Tsimane women of Bolivia are often revered as among the most fertile in the world - on average having 10 children in their lifetimes -- but some are even more fertile than others.

Family may sue cousin over genetics

A Melbourne couple is suing the Royal Children's Hospital for failing to diagnose a genetic disorder in their first child - an error they allege caused them to have another child with severe disabilities.

Strange things mums have done in labour

While most women in labour focus on the upcoming birth of their baby, some women do more interesting things.

Michael Clarke reveals baby's name

When Michael Clarke said he was wrapped around the finger of his little princess, he wasn't joking.

The logistics of breastfeeding twins

Our life is more or less divided into neat four hour parcels of time and it's hard to get much of anything done in the time between feeds.

How to stop people ruining Christmas

We can make a conscious effort about how we react to those curly Christmas day scenarios that can send us up the wall, or should we say chimney.

Lots of formula offers for desperate mum

The mum who was down to her last three tins of baby formula said she had received hundreds of calls and offers to send her formula.

Surviving breast cancer while pregnant

It was last thing Rebecca O'Donnell expected at 30 weeks' pregnant. One morning, while putting on her bra, she felt a pea-sized lump in her right breast.

Cot sheet brands for the nursery

With so many awesome cot sheet options these days, we thought we'd put together a list of go-to brands for you to seek out for your baby's bed.

The Bugaboo by Diesel Denim launch

Essential Baby attended the launch and it got messy!

Father's letter to Bataclan terrorists

A grieving father whose wife was killed in the attacks on the Bataclan Theatre last weekend has written an open letter to her killers.

Adele's new song to sing along to

Singer follows up success of Hello with new belting ballad When We Were Young.

Major retailers restrict formula sales

Coles and Woolworths have imposed tighter buying bans on baby formula amid a shortage blamed on Chinese consumers.

Three-year-old breaks family's news

If you are three-years-old and an only child, then news doesn't get much bigger than this.

Swapped babies stay with families

A boy and girl accidentally swapped on the day they were born will stay with the families who have raised them, a South African court has ruled.

How life is different with three kids

I knew having a third child would alter our lives, but it's had so many impacts - both tiny and enormous.


What's hot on EB

Win one of two ABC Shop prize packs in time for Christmas

What a boon it would be to have your toddler's Christmas gifts covered this year. We have two awesome ABC Shop prize packs to give away to two lucky winners.

Beautiful 'now and then' images of premature babies

They are stunning photos that the parents of these beautiful no doubt feared they may never see.

Physios warn pregnant women not to crunch like Michelle Bridges

Experts are urging pregnant women not to do exactly as Michelle Bridges does when exercising, or they risk developing rectus abdominus diastasis.

Penny-pinching supermarket shoppers switching in droves

Half of Australia thinks it can get cheaper groceries by switching supermarkets, and about one in four of us have already switched.

Baby breastfed by wrong mother after hospital mix up

A newborn baby has been breastfed by a stranger after a NSW hospital bungled the identities of two newborns, devastating one mother and potentially exposing the newborn to health risks.

Nurses invent skin to skin c-section drape

The determination of three US nurses to provide immediate skin to skin contact to mothers delivering their babies by caesarean section has led to the invention of a unique surgical drape.

Baby's first photo shoot features a special guest

You can always be sure of a few things not entirely going to plan during a newborn shoot – little accidents are almost par for the course – but this shoot was memorable for a whole other reason.

We are not the family you think we are, I promise

Kids have a way of presenting a completely inaccurate impression of you, as parents, and as a family.

The hidden harm of foetal alcohol syndrome disorder

Experts believe many children diagnosed with ADHD might actually have FASD and that the number of people suffering from the condition across the country could be as high as 500,000.

Anaesthetist facing charges after ignoring woman's pain during caesarean

An anaesthetist could be punished after telling a woman enduring an "excruciating" painful C-section that she was not actually in pain.

When your baby starts life in NICU

Our daughters are finally home after spending nearly four weeks in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) at Wellington hospital.

How to save for a deposit while renting

As hard as it sounds, it is possible to save money when you rent, and certain things can be done to build a deposit faster.

Medications pregnant women should take, avoid, and think about

There are actually very few medications that must be absolutely avoided during pregnancy.

Paid parental leave uncertainty a growing concern

Eight months out from the due date of the government's PPL cut, some expectant parents are facing an uncertain time.

7 commandments of using the internet as a parent

What you need is careful, objective and repeatable science. Not anecdotes or old wives' tales, but data.

A rethink on screen ban for kids under two

With new guidelines being developed, the discouragement of use below two years of age is being revised.

10 things I want my wife to know

It's on those crazy days that I must remember to stop and let her know some things she needs to hear.

Better education about SIDS needed as deaths plateau

The number of sudden and unexpected deaths in infancy has decreased in NSW for the past 15 years but the most recent report into child deaths reveals the decline has plateaued.



Can't decide?

Check out the Essential Baby Names section for some inspiration

Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.