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A 40th birthday party
Kids or no kids?


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17 replies to this topic

#1 Shanski

Posted 15 January 2013 - 04:11 PM

My hubby turns 40 next year and I'm thinking about throwing a party for him.
I have no idea what kind of party but my first thought is family friendly or adults only?

What would you do?

We currently have 2 kids and most of our friends have kids so if we have a family friendly party it will be an early afternoon BBQ type affair which will end pretty early.
If we say no kids then it will be a bit more of a boozey event that could go into the later hours of the night and even into the early morning.

Both appeal to me and hubby will probably be happy to have no fuss at all but he's turning 40 and I can't let that go without some sort of celebration.

Any ideas and suggestions for party themes greatly appreciated.

#2 HRH Countrymel

Posted 15 January 2013 - 04:16 PM

For my 40th we had 4 friends come around (without their kids, and they all stayed the night) for an amazing Mexican/Sth American feast (cooked mainly by DP) drank lots of beers and tequila and had a pinata (which DP had also made).

It was fantastic fun and I highly recommend it!

#3 Frockme

Posted 15 January 2013 - 05:22 PM

Im going for boozy no kids (of my own). If others want to bring them that's up to them but we're not catering to them and its not a very child friendly place.  wink.gif

A question though, how do you say " no gifts please, we just want you" without sounding like a swinger or someone who thinks everyone want to buy gifts for them. .???

#4 mards

Posted 15 January 2013 - 05:27 PM

We had a surprise 40th for DH - a month early (as he is an xmas baby).... So he had NOOO idea bout it.. It was an adult only affair - and we threw it at my Inlaws.. He was stoked!!  it started at 3pm and went till about 1am... pretty much everyone came  - we had BBQ etc etc.... the worst thing about it was i organised in August - and had to keep the secret till NOvember - all his friends were in agony about not telling him - was worth it though - he had a great night...

Oh and his inlaws were not there so it was really only a FRIENDS party...

Edited by mards, 15 January 2013 - 05:28 PM.


#5 Julie3Girls

Posted 15 January 2013 - 05:56 PM

You know your friends, and you know your husband.
Which would be better?
Do your friends have babysitters? Are they likely to not be able to come if they can't bring the kids? Are they a party crowd who can easily and happily ditch the kids for a night?

How old are the kids?

Is there any compromises ...
An afternoon/dinner BBQ, and make plans for the kids - is there a couple of local teenagers who you can pay to be the babysitters for the night - set up part of the house with kiddie friendly snacks, movies, etc.

Depending on how old the kids are, they might be just happy running wild in the back yard for a while, and then throw them in the lounge room with a movie, lots of pillow and hope they flake out.



#6 imamumto3

Posted 15 January 2013 - 06:02 PM

I'm in the middle of trying to organise dhs party.  almost all the people invited have 1,2 or 3 kids, so 50 or so adults and that many kids would be a nightmare and add enormously to the catering costs, so I'm leaning towards a child free night time event at a pub or club.  this leads to the next problem, that anyone who  would baby sit my kids would be at the party, so I have to find someone else

#7 Tender Heart

Posted 15 January 2013 - 06:08 PM

Julie3Girls has made the suggestion I was going to about a kids' zone inside with a babysitter or two!  Your DH sounds fairly casual about it, so maybe he'd be happy with the kids running around and it being more a family affair.

Malaya - I've seen "No presents, just your presence" a bit on invitations lately.

#8 JustBeige

Posted 15 January 2013 - 06:39 PM

Dh had the middle of the day, all included, BBQ thing.  He wanted everyone to come and we have a pool etc.  We just had mixture of snags, rolls and salads.

His bestie did the Adults only night time shindig. He made sure he gave everyone heaps of notice and his mum and MIL offered themselves up for babysitting (they live near them) as they didnt want to go to a boozy party.  He had it catered but had spit meats etc.

Both worked.   It just depends on level of party you are after.

If you have young kids and start the day early, it might be easier to just go with a middle of the day one.  At least you are done with before too late and any besties can just hang around if they like.

#9 Mumma3

Posted 15 January 2013 - 06:50 PM

One of my friends hired out an indoor play centre for her 40th, after hours, from about 6pm, I think it was.

This was awesome!! The kids all had a ball, and didn't need much supervision, and the adults also enjoyed ALL the play equipment - bouncing mate, slides, ball pit etc. Much nicer to be at a play centre like this, will kids who all know each other, too.

From memory, she got catering done, but I can't remember what the rule was about serving alcohol. Lots of play centre offer adult party hire after hours, so you could ask about the alcohol policy of you were interested.


#10 Rachaelxxx

Posted 15 January 2013 - 06:54 PM

My 40th is next month and we are having a big party at home and the only kids will be my own.  I've been to parties with kids and in my opinion, whilst it's still fun, it's not as much fun.  In saying that though, our friends are all big drinkers and party well into the night.  We don't have many nights without the kids, but when we do we make up for it.

#11 JRA

Posted 15 January 2013 - 08:11 PM

QUOTE (countrymel @ 15/01/2013, 04:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
For my 40th we had 4 friends come around (without their kids, and they all stayed the night) for an amazing Mexican/Sth American feast (cooked mainly by DP) drank lots of beers and tequila and had a pinata (which DP had also made).

It was fantastic fun and I highly recommend it!



DH has been harassing what we will do for my 50th in a few years. I really like that idea.


#12 JRA

Posted 15 January 2013 - 08:12 PM

QUOTE (Mumma3 @ 15/01/2013, 06:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
One of my friends hired out an indoor play centre for her 40th, after hours, from about 6pm, I think it was.

This was awesome!! The kids all had a ball, and didn't need much supervision, and the adults also enjoyed ALL the play equipment - bouncing mate, slides, ball pit etc. Much nicer to be at a play centre like this, will kids who all know each other, too.

From memory, she got catering done, but I can't remember what the rule was about serving alcohol. Lots of play centre offer adult party hire after hours, so you could ask about the alcohol policy of you were interested.



Gee, I thought I was the only one who had a friend who would do that.

OP, to answer your question, we have always done big parties without kids, and I think will continue to do so.

#13 i-candi

Posted 15 January 2013 - 08:16 PM

My 40th this year and we are going away with another family for the weekend original.gif

I've chosen the venue.

I got inspiration from my friend (who we are going with), we went O/S for her sister's 40th. I'm not interested in going O/S but happily go away for the weekend original.gif

Four children will be coming and they are at an age to occupy themselves !!!! How awesome.

#14 FeralProudSwahili

Posted 15 January 2013 - 09:23 PM

There are only a few kids in the immediate family, so I'd include them,

#15 Holidayromp

Posted 15 January 2013 - 10:14 PM

I would do the day thing and let it go into the night.  I would leave it open to as whether the parent's want to bring their kids or not or whatever they wish to do.  I would set up a room with dvd player, games console etc and the kids can retreat there - the kids will have a ball and the adults will be left to have fun themselves.
If you say no kids then you are making the decision for the adults and then you are limiting their options.  They may really want to come but cannot afford or get a babysitter so may have to decline. I think parties with children are great, the kids all play together and it has a great atmosphere and can provide distraction at all the right times too.
I find adult only parties quite boring and without atmosphere.

#16 ms flib

Posted 15 January 2013 - 10:24 PM

One of my friends had drinks at her place after 8pm, no children. It was a relaxed, chilled out affair. We enjoyed it!

#17 Anemonefish

Posted 15 January 2013 - 10:57 PM

I would ask my hubby which he'd prefer, unless you were planning it as a surprise party. I'm 40 this year too and I'm planning a big party at home, with kids. DH & I have always had parties with kids, even before we had kids ourselves. Among our group of friends, all the kids are good friends and will entertain themselves, then when they start getting tired, we put a movie on for them. Some of our friends who have kids (usually those with younger kids) will arrive early and leave early, others will put their kids to bed (we set up mattresses on the floor) and stay until late. On New Year's eve, we had 6 extra kids (aged between 4 and 9) sleeping on mattresses on the floors of my 2 kids' rooms while the adults boogied on until around 1am.

I like the idea of an adults night and I love date nights with DH, but for a birthday party, I think it's more fun with kids around.

#18 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 16 January 2013 - 10:54 AM

QUOTE (Malaya @ 15/01/2013, 05:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
A question though, how do you say " no gifts please, we just want you" without sounding like a swinger or someone who thinks everyone want to buy gifts for them. .???

I wrote "No gifts, thank you" at the bottom of the invitation.  And re-iterated it when I spoke with people in the lead-up.  A few people brought a bottle of wine (all was drunk that night), but I didn't have an influx of gifts thankfully.  original.gif

OP, I don't think it matters.  Just do what suits your family best, and what you think your DH would prefer.  If going child-free, give people plenty of time to arrange babysitters, etc.




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