Jump to content

House guest stealing kids clothes


  • Please log in to reply
14 replies to this topic

#1 balletmom4

Posted 14 January 2013 - 08:47 PM

We went through my dd's clothes and decided to either pass them down to her younger sister (the decent stuff) or give them away to St. Vinnies. Anyway, my dd had a friend from school over for a sleepover and liked some of the clothes that we were going to give away. So, I grabbed a plastic bag to put clothes in for her. Anyway, I went upstairs and found a heap of wet clothes (cozzies and towels) on the floor in my dd's room. There were also some of the visiting child's clothes on the floor, so I folded them to put back into her overnight bag. When I opened the bag, the kid had stuffed it full with clothes out of my DDs' wardrobes and drawers.  The strangest thing was that there were size 4 clothes (the little girl is 11) that wouldn't even fit her. Anyway, I took the clothes out of the girls bag and back into my youngest dd's drawers- and yep, you guessed it, she 11yo house guest had repacked her bag with my 4yo's clothes, plus the clothes I originally said she could have.
The 11yo is in the custody of her grandparents and has no siblings. We went over to visit the grandparents when we picked her up yesterday, and the little girl seems to be very well cared for, and seems to want for nothing. I obviously need to address this with the little girls grandparents when they pick her up tomorrow, but WHY would the kid take my 4yo's clothes out of her drawers and nick them? I'm lost on this one.

#2 fifi-trixibelle

Posted 14 January 2013 - 08:52 PM

All I can think is that she didn't realise they are the 4 year old's clothes and not your older daughters or that she wants to dress her dolls or toys in them?

#3 FeralProudSwahili

Posted 14 January 2013 - 09:07 PM

Why don't you ask the little girl? She'll know better than a bunch of EB randoms. You can do it without being confrontational or accusatory.

#4 tibs

Posted 14 January 2013 - 09:19 PM

QUOTE (EHB @ 14/01/2013, 10:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It may also reflect what life she had as a 4 yr old. She may not have had any lovely things.


My neighbours adopted a girl who had had a rough childhood (drug addicted mother etc).  They adopted her when she was 5.  At 10 she still from time to time goes to their fridge in the middle of the night and takes food like blocks of cheese etc and hides them in her bed sad.gif

#5 BeYOUtiful

Posted 14 January 2013 - 09:26 PM

Is it common practice to open a guests bag up, even if they are a child?

#6 balletmom4

Posted 14 January 2013 - 09:26 PM

QUOTE (Swahili @ 14/01/2013, 10:07 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Why don't you ask the little girl? She'll know better than a bunch of EB randoms. You can do it without being confrontational or accusatory.


I thought the kid may have been embarrassed, so didn't  want to press the kid on the issue. However, when she went back into my 4yos clothes and put them back in her bag, it seemed that there was something completely out of place going on. She chose a large stash of clothes, and was so happy with what we had given her. I'm certainly not angry about it at all, just more confused.

#7 balletmom4

Posted 14 January 2013 - 09:30 PM

QUOTE (~Jane05~ @ 14/01/2013, 10:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Is it common practice to open a guests bag up, even if they are a child?


No, I  was just putting her clothes back into her bag- they were scattered all over the floor (as were my kids clothes). I'd also sorted out her dry swimming stuff and put it into a plastic bag for her to take home with her.

#8 babychacha

Posted 14 January 2013 - 09:31 PM

It is a bit odd.

I would ask her, maybe your 4 year old gave them to her? Just a random thought.

#9 HurryUpAlready

Posted 14 January 2013 - 11:47 PM

QUOTE (~Jane05~ @ 14/01/2013, 07:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Is it common practice to open a guests bag up, even if they are a child?


Oh FFS...

#10 Dowager fancie

Posted 14 January 2013 - 11:53 PM



There is also the possibility that one of your DDs offered them to her.  You were giving her clothes, maybe they wanted to be generous too.



  



#11 galba

Posted 14 January 2013 - 11:58 PM


My 6 year old would do that. She'd want to give the guest some of her clothes too!  She hates to be left out.

I'd ask all the kids to find out what's going on.

#12 FeralBee

Posted 14 January 2013 - 11:59 PM

I agree with Tibs,  it's quite coming for children with negative experiences and a lack of stability early in life to steal "treasures". It gives them a sense of ownership and something that they feel can't be taken away from them.
It's something that should really be dealt with by a trained psychologist.

I would suggest having a gentle talk to her grandparents about getting a referral from their GP. Also, if you're ok with it, maybe think about letting her keep those clothes for now? Just a thought though, other people might know more than me.

#13 mumto4boys

Posted 15 January 2013 - 03:52 AM

I'd just ask her. Find a time when your own children are out of earshot and just ask.

Don't accuse her of anything but just tell her what happened, that you opened her bag to put the other clothes in and saw the clothes from your four year old. See what she says.

#14 PubertyBlues

Posted 15 January 2013 - 05:45 AM

QUOTE (SqueakyBee @ 15/01/2013, 12:59 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I agree with Tibs,  it's quite coming for children with negative experiences and a lack of stability early in life to steal "treasures". It gives them a sense of ownership and something that they feel can't be taken away from them.
It's something that should really be dealt with by a trained psychologist.

I would suggest having a gentle talk to her grandparents about getting a referral from their GP. Also, if you're ok with it, maybe think about letting her keep those clothes for now? Just a thought though, other people might know more than me.


Agreed. I've known of a few kids who have shown this and similar behaviours. I believe it's related to feeling a lack of control and security - probably not because of anything the grandparents have or haven't done, but related possibly to the reasons she doesn't live with her parents.

We had similar issues with ESS with the move from his Mother's house to ours many years ago - for a while he was a compulsive hoarder and storer - of everything - bits of paper, clothes, toys. He would find boxes and fill them with random items just in case.

I would mention it to the grandparents but only casually.



#15 balletmom4

Posted 15 January 2013 - 06:04 AM

Thanks for your replies. Very interesting about the lack of stability and the child taking 'treasures'. I know the little girl has been between custody of mum and grandparents throughout her life. She moved back in with the grandparents about 8 months ago, and the little girl spent a few days with her mother last week. Like I said, I was not upset at all, just more concerned for the little girl. I will talk to her grandmother when she picks her up today.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

Win Love Child Season 1 & 2 on DVD

To celebrate the release of Love Child Season 2 on DVD from July 9, Essential Baby and Universal Sony Pictures Home Entertainment are giving away Love Child Season 1 & 2 on DVD to 13 lucky winners.

10 things I wish my pre-baby self knew

I look back at my pre-baby self and laugh at how ridiculously easy I actually had it. I remember complaining about how tired I was and how little time I had.

Creative ways to store your child's art

Ideas for storing your child's artworks have moved on from sticking them to the fridge door before guiltily dumping them in the bin.

Child abuse ignored because 'it's not your children': Waleed Aly

Waleed Aly takes apart the immigration law that's designed to "protect politicians"

How a newborn niece changed star Australian basketballer's life

In August 2013 star basketball Abby Bishop was 24-years-old and in the prime of her sporting career.

Guilt is my new shadow

No one warned me that when I gave birth there would be an additional side order of guilt.

12 brilliant Ikea hacks for kids’ rooms

Check out these creative upcycling ideas that transform regular Ikea items into something special for your little ones.

Child's nightmare about 'man with a light' turned out to be real

For three days, a three-year-old boy had been saying there was "a man with a light" outside his window at night.

Toilet truths after giving birth

The thought of going to the toilet after giving birth is often feared, but there are ways to make it less painful.

Woman asks strangers for $1 million to stop her having an abortion

An anonymous woman is taking an extreme moral and ethical stand by seeking $1 million in donations to prevent her going ahead with a planned abortion.

How a woman's dying wish made another woman a mum

"I kind of think about, 'What did I do beforehand? What kept me so busy back then?' Because now I'm really busy."

The parenting do-over: what six parents did differently second time around

In playgrounds across Australia, you can hear parents lamenting, "When we have our next baby I swear I won't be doing THAT again".

A solo birth, a wasp swarm and a forest fire: mum and baby's amazing story of survival

Desperate, out of petrol and low on food, a new mother lit a fire in the hope of attracting attention.

Boy found on swing died of hypothermia and dehydration, autopsy finds

The story was chilling and heartbreaking: a three-year-old boy was found dead in a Southern Maryland park, his mother pushing him on the swing.

Child's play and laughter help battle fatigue

Feeling fatigued? Uh-huh, thought as much. Join the queue.

Dad shares entertaining 'how to hold a baby' clip

For many new dads, their own child is the first baby they have ever held. So one dad has posted an instructive YouTube video titled "How to Hold a Baby".

The Australian baby with 100,000 Facebook fans

She may be only eight months old, but Egypt has already amassed more than 100,000 fans and received a letter from royalty - Hollywood royalty that is.

Tongue tie: what you need to know

Tongue and lip tie can lead to many problems for babies - and their parents. Here are the signs of tongue tie and how it's treated.

My daughter is small but that doesn't matter

My daughter may be small, but it's my job as her parent to refocus back where it belongs - on who she is as a person

Wet wipes linked to rise in allergic reactions

The government has issued a health warning after a rise in allergic skin reactions has been linked to a preservative found in some wet wipes.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

27 funny ultrasound pictures

Ultrasounds give you a look at your growing baby ... and sometimes what appears to their womb-buddy, or your bub in an amusing position.

What all parents should know about safe babywearing

A picture of Ryan Reynolds always gets the girls talking, and a recently shared photo has done exactly that - but this time, it's for all the wrong reasons.

Baby's head shape reveals potentially fatal condition

Thinking her baby just had an unusually shaped head, a mother was shocked to discover it was instead linked to a dangerous condition.

Why IVF success rates may not be what you think

Transparency, accountability and responsibilityare essential measures to protect IVF vulnerable patients.

Mother-in-law 'from hell' inspires survival guide

The happily ever after Nicola Milan had imagined wasn't to be – and she blames her mother-in-law.

Owning a pair of nail scissors does not make me a hairdresser

It's been a whole year since sleeping in until 10am. A whole year since having a peaceful shower.

The 83 children who were tragically let down in the last decade

Over a 10-year period, 83 children died from domestic violence abuse in NSW, with three quarters of the victims aged five years or under, the NSW Ombudsman has revealed.

Is it reasonable to expect your partner to give up drinking in pregnancy?

From the moment that I fell pregnant with my son, I realised just how much my life had already started to change.

Stroke victim joins class action against makers of popular contraceptive pill

"I was terrified I would always be this way. The pill needs to come with a much higher warning."

Sexy time

Why you should get excited about scheduling sex

Unfortunately, the belief that sex should always be spontaneous is a myth. It just isn't.

When newborn photoshoots get messy

When it comes to newborn photoshoots, it is all about the timing.

Expert Q&A: Gross motor skill development in toddlers and preschoolers

Dr Katie Heathershaw answers questions about jumping, toe walking, riding a bike and being pigeon toed.

'Samuel is our firstborn, and he will never be forgotten'

Having lost their firstborn at one day old, the Carrolls were overjoyed to welcome their daughter Isobel into the world a year later.

Dad takes miraculous catch while feeding baby

One American father has taken multitasking to a new level at a Cubs-Dodgers baseball game at Wrigley Field.

Name your baby Quinoa, win a $10K gift card

Choosing a name for your little bundle of joy is always a major decision. It can be something traditional, trendy, creative … or inspired by the menu of your favourite chain restaurant.

On the 10th anniversary of my son's death

This day marks a significant day. Today marks 10 years since I lost my son Kai.

'Help - my toddler hits me!'

My toddler has started hitting when he gets frustrated, is feeling ignored, or just thinks it might be fun.

The top 6 misleading parenting terms

From 'morning sickness' to 'the terrible twos', there are many parenting terms that are misleading.

When 'good' nannies go bad

While most nannies take pride in their work, there can be some who have a hidden side.

Woman hospitalised for skinny jeans injury

Beware: skinny jeans might be bad for your health.

Gauze seeding: the bacteria-breeding birth trend

A number of women having caesarean deliveries are now taking steps to give their baby a better 'microbiome' start in life.

Jimmy Fallon writes new children's book for dads

Jimmy Fallon, host of NBC's The Tonight Show, recently wrote a children's book about every father's secret wish for their baby's first word to be "dada" - not "mama".

28 names for babies born in winter

Looking for some baby name inspiration for a bub born during the colder months? Here are 28 options from around the world to consider.

 

FREE TICKET

Get your FREE ticket to the Baby & Toddler Show

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.