Jump to content

Plastic Surgery


  • Please log in to reply
41 replies to this topic

#1 BeccaBoo88

Posted 14 January 2013 - 09:17 AM

Last night over dinner I was playing with my food (yes, I still do this) and checking how straight my teeth are in the imprint they left in an apple. So DF and I talked about me getting my braces back on my lower teeth - something I've mentioned before, but am not overly keen on after having them on for 2 years as a teen.
THEN all of a sudden, DF says 'I've been thinking about your birthday present, and if you really want a nose job we can start seeing consultants'.

I have mentioned my nose to him a couple of times.. just the way I think most girls will say 'oh I hate my (insert body part here)'. Yes, it has a bump on it, nothing major, if I knew there was an easy fix I would probably do it, but I don't know if surgery is an over the top solution...

The next thing he said was, 'but noone can know I have offered to get it for you - your family would kill me if they thought it was my idea - which it isn't! I just know you've mentioned it and if you want it, I want you to know I will get it for you'... He is a great guy, I am sure he would not have offered if I hadn't mentioned my nose to him a couple of times in the past - he cares about the way we both look, but I don't think he wants to start changing me in any big way.

So, I guess my question is what do you think? Just a nice gesture? Something more to it? And would you accept the offer knowing your family disagrees with the idea of any kind of cosmetic surgery??

#2 snuffles

Posted 14 January 2013 - 09:20 AM

It's up to you, who cares what your family thinks.

Plastic surgery is NMS at all but it's your nose, you can do what you like with it.



#3 bubzillaiscoming

Posted 14 January 2013 - 09:29 AM

I agree with Snuffles - you obviously aren't being pressured by your DF, so if it is something you would like to do, then go for it.

I often think I would like to get a boobie lift (lift, not implants)  once all my babies have stopped BFing, but I think I would be too scared to go through with it. I just like the idea!!

I wouldn't mention it to your family. 2 of my siblings have had their ears put back after YEARS of stressing and being unhappy with them. To be honest, I didn't really notice with either of them, they just looked a bit different but they both feel much better about themselves.

If you do it, make sure you get a new haircut or something, so that people can see something obviously different, but don't immediately notice it biggrin.gif

#4 Especially*K*

Posted 14 January 2013 - 09:32 AM

If you would like to get it done i dont see a problem with it. I'd take it as a nice gesture from your hubby.

#5 mollybot

Posted 14 January 2013 - 08:10 PM

Unless you really hate it and its affecting your life I wouldn't.

Surgery sucks !! It hurts like hell, even with painkillers, and if you react to the general, its worse....

I mean, you may have already had surgery and are ok with it, but I've had surgery due to medical issues and its not something I would do because "I don't like my nose".

ouchy ouch ouch. My surgery was on my neck, not my face, but OUCH !!!!


PS: I am the world's worst wimp. I've had three caesers too, and that was just OK, but only cause I told my anesthetist "I'm a screamer, a fainter and a vomiter" and he was onto it from the start biggrin.gif

#6 PaulineN

Posted 14 January 2013 - 08:21 PM

If it bothers you - do it. It's your body but you must only do it for you. I've had my nose done about 14 years ago. I hated it and used to look in the mirror all the time putting my finger on the bump so it looked 'bump free'. So glad I did it and wish I had done it years earlier before my wedding (hate the wedding pics with my big snozz)  original.gif

Remember, its a permanent change you have to live with and only you should decide whether to get it.

#7 Guest_3Keiki_*

Posted 14 January 2013 - 08:26 PM

OP just a couple of things...
You say that you and DF started talking about you getting braces on your LOWER BACK teeth, because of the imprint they made on the apple, your not keen on it because you had them as a kid. Why in gods name would you need braces on your lower back teeth???? WHo the heck is examining your bite imprint??
Before you even got started I wondered who has got the desire for perfection...
Then the 'he cares about how we both look' right so he spends equal time in front of a mirror then.
OP IF you  haven't mentioned your nose more than a couple of times to your DF then YES he is trying to change the way you look, he is actively asking you to achieve an ideal you don't fit right now, if he wasn't he wouldn't be offering a surgical prodcedure for your birthday he would be taking youto the Maldives, BUT you maybe ok with that as you are checking an apple for your teeth imprint - if you are then do what you want, yes it is surgery, yes all surgery carries risk and yes it hurts like hell - I have had my nose done after having it smashed. But in these kinds of situations I refer to a sig of a fellow EB member that I just love (the sig I mean) something about removing the signposts.....

#8 Toodee

Posted 14 January 2013 - 09:51 PM

It doesn't sound like he was pressuring you at all with his offer. Just letting you know that the option is there if you want to take it. Think hard about what YOU want and make your decision for YOU. After all, you are the person who has to live with your nose and if you really hate it I don't see what is so bad about changing it.

#9 Gembac8019

Posted 14 January 2013 - 10:51 PM

I've had my nose done in 2009 and all I can say is that even tho I LOVE the end result, It was pure hell to recover from. It is not a walk in the park and very painful.

#10 mummabubba

Posted 14 January 2013 - 10:59 PM

Heck yeah - go for it!

#11 libbylu

Posted 14 January 2013 - 11:11 PM

Well, I think it's up to you.  I wouldn't be taking my partners opinion into account.  Is that the priority for how you want to spend your money?
I am 36 and considering getting something done to straighten my teeth.  I never had any orthodontics as a child and my teeth are not too bad, but the front two are crooked.  As a fresh faced smooth skinned young women it wasn't really an issue, but as I age I think that there is not much I can do about the wrinkles (at least, not permanently) but I could fix up my teeth, and that would be a long term improvement.
I don't think it's really any of your family's business.

#12 BeccaBoo88

Posted 15 January 2013 - 11:44 AM

3Keiki - I said 'back on my lower teeth' not my lower back teeth, meaning I already had them, didn't wear my plate and they moved.  original.gif

Thanks so much for the feedback everyone.

The money side is something we will discuss after consultations. I would LOVE a trip the the Maldives, but with a baby due in March, I don't think that will be happening! hahah.

Now I'm just scared about the pain side of it! Gah!


#13 Ferelsmegz

Posted 15 January 2013 - 11:54 AM

I say do it if you want!

I would love a nose job... mine is terrible - I broke it when I was about 11 (fell out of the top bunk straight onto it) but didnt get it set at the time..

#14 Guest_~Karla~_*

Posted 15 January 2013 - 01:37 PM

Apart from the pain factor, I can think of at least 100 things I would rather spend that sort of money on. Although, I would lurve a new set of boobs (breastfeeding 4 babies has left them very sadly lacking of their former glory), I
a) don't have time for the surgery,
b) don't have time for the recovery,
c) can't be bothered inflicting that much pain on myself,
d) would consider it a waste of money when there are so many other ways I could spend it.
Not to mention I would be really, really offended if my husband suggested I surgically altered my appearance.

But, it's up to you. If it's what you want, go for it. Doesn't matter what your family think, they're not the ones who have to live with your nose. But make sure if you do, you do it 100% for you, not your partner.

#15 Apageintime

Posted 15 January 2013 - 02:45 PM

It's your body and you can do with it what you like, my BFF got a breast reduction about 5 years ago though and was very sore for a fair while after, so just make sure you're prepared for the recovery time.

Edited by Apageintime, 15 January 2013 - 02:48 PM.


#16 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 15 January 2013 - 02:52 PM

QUOTE (snuffles @ 14/01/2013, 09:20 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It's up to you, who cares what your family thinks.

Plastic surgery is NMS at all but it's your nose, you can do what you like with it.

totally agree with this.

I'm not opposed to the idea of plastic surgery but my biggest reasons why I haven't done it are
a) I don't have time for the surgery (maybe when kids are older??),
b) I don't have time for the recovery (again, kids, maybe when they are older),
c ) it's expensive and we just don't have that kind of cash lying around

Only do it if YOU want it.  Not your DH or anyone else's opinion counts.  It's entirely your decision about whether you want it.

FWIW, if I had no barriers, I'd get a tummy tuck, thigh liposuction and correction for my droopy boobs.  Everything that has basically radically altered by pregnancy and childbirth.

Edited by YodaTheWrinkledOne, 15 January 2013 - 02:54 PM.


#17 BeccaBoo88

Posted 16 January 2013 - 09:09 AM

I agree with what you've all said about doing it for me, but the thing is I would never consider it because I don't have the money and never have had it, but now it's been offered I am more keen.

It's always been something he and I have joked about - I give him two babies, he gives me two boobies.

But we have a baby due in March and I'm not sure now about the recovery, I didn't really think about that side of it.. hmm..

It's not my birthday until June, but he asked me last night if I want to go to a consultation while I'm on my pre-baby maternity leave...

#18 BeYOUtiful

Posted 16 January 2013 - 09:20 AM

No one has mentioned the surgeries that go wrong, something to think about.

#19 BeccaBoo88

Posted 16 January 2013 - 09:40 AM

QUOTE (Madame Catty @ 16/01/2013, 10:29 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm really surprised at some of these answers.

The OP has mentioned to her partner "a couple of times" the usual female complaint of "I hate my *insert body part*". At no time has she mentioned wanting surgery to fix it. I've mentioned to dh quite a few times about my wriggly stomach after two kids and would be quite furious and insulted if he offered up surgery as a solution. The notion is quite ridiculous to me. The partner should be spending his time telling the OP she there is nothing wrong with her nose, not offering to buy her a nose surgery b'day present. I don't think it's a nice gesture at all, and like I said, I would be furious and insulted.


This is what I was wondering originially. If people think it's an appropriate offer or if he's gone too far.

I already mentioned that he is concerned about how we look - he's a PT and trains very hard to look the way he does. He never ever puts me down, he regularly tells me i'm pretty, blah blah blah, but even yesterday he asked if I got weighed at my last OB appointment and I said yep, I'm x KG now and he said wow you were fatter than that when we got together!

It's the norm in his group of friends. Botox, lip injections, breasts, tummy tucks - they are all gifts that I know of in the last 18 months - including some surgeries for the guys. So to him it's just the norm and he isn't saying to get it done, but the offer has been repeated since my first post.

He is always supportive, but I just don't know if this crosses a line. And the fact he's told me I can't tell my family he offered makes me think that he doesn't agree with it....
I'm just a bit confused. I have always been self conscious of it (no photos from the side) but it's never been something that keeps me up at night.. but now the offer is there I have been thinking about it more. It's like something I always said I would do, but now that it's there I have to make a real world decision about it!

#20 Oriental lily

Posted 16 January 2013 - 09:44 AM

I agree with Madamecatty.

I would be devastated if DH offered me plastic surgery UNLESS it was a significant problem that was greatly distressing me and he was offering it for my emotional health.

How insulting.

Op your post put a bad taste in my mouth.

I bet you have thought about your nose and it's perceived flaws 10 times more since the offer?
I bet you it annoys you more now than it did before the offer.

What ypur parter has done has said ''I think you would look better with a nose job' and dressed it upto look like its something you have been wanting and he has been extremely generous in offering this self improvement  surgery.

When the brutal truth it's for himself to have a 'prettier' wife.

That you have admitted tat he is conscious about appearances confirms it.


#21 HRH Countrymel

Posted 16 January 2013 - 09:59 AM

I would be most offended if someone suggested I needed plastic surgery.

As an aside: the most beautiful looking woman I knew growing up (a friend of my sister) saved up and got a nose job as she perceived some flaw in her long elegant nose.

She went from utterly stunning to 'kinda pretty' - the lesson there being, your face is your face, who knows what gives it it's unique beauty - but don't think you and/or a scalpel happy surgeon can chose a better option that what nature provided.

OP I think both you and especially your DP need to stop focussing on external beauty for a while and start working on your inner selves.

What on earth will happen if your baby turns out to be a funny looking little kid?  Will he refuse to be seen with it?

#22 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 16 January 2013 - 10:05 AM

QUOTE (BeccaBoo88 @ 16/01/2013, 09:40 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
This is what I was wondering originially. If people think it's an appropriate offer or if he's gone too far.

I already mentioned that he is concerned about how we look - he's a PT and trains very hard to look the way he does. He never ever puts me down, he regularly tells me i'm pretty, blah blah blah, but even yesterday he asked if I got weighed at my last OB appointment and I said yep, I'm x KG now and he said wow you were fatter than that when we got together!

It's the norm in his group of friends. Botox, lip injections, breasts, tummy tucks - they are all gifts that I know of in the last 18 months - including some surgeries for the guys. So to him it's just the norm and he isn't saying to get it done, but the offer has been repeated since my first post.

He is always supportive, but I just don't know if this crosses a line. And the fact he's told me I can't tell my family he offered makes me think that he doesn't agree with it....
I'm just a bit confused. I have always been self conscious of it (no photos from the side) but it's never been something that keeps me up at night.. but now the offer is there I have been thinking about it more. It's like something I always said I would do, but now that it's there I have to make a real world decision about it!

whether it's an appropriate offer is your call - you know him, you know yourself and you know the circumstances.  I wouldn't necessarily automatically assume the worst (or the best for that matter) - it depends on context.

If you feel uncomfortable, let your DH know and put it off making a decision until after the baby arrives.  Take a rain-check, no harm done.  At that time, if YOU want to have the surgery, then make some appointments then.  But really, while the offer has been made by your DH, the decision has to be made by you and the process for getting it done has to be done at YOUR pace, at your instigation, so that you fell comfortable about it all.

#23 BeccaBoo88

Posted 16 January 2013 - 10:14 AM

I agree with the statement about how now I'm thinking about something I wouldn't have thought about before. But it's the same as I don't think about driving a ferari because its never been attainable, now it is I'm trying to work out what I really want to do.

I really appreciate all the replies - both the do it and the forget it. I really was just asking for feedback to see what other thought and I've certainly gotten that! original.gif

He is concerned about the way we both look, but really, who isn't. I don't know if you have all read the 'do you leave the house without makeup?' thread, but its was an overwhelming no from when I last read it. And just for the record, he never suggested I need it, just opening the door for me if I choose to accept.

I'm not defending his actions, I'm not sure I agree with him offering, but I do appreciate the thought that he wants to make me happy and maybe this is what he's been told works by his friends.

I really don't know and I am just throwing around what might have happened.

At the end of the day, it is my choice, I know that. I will not be doing it for him or any one else, but myself IF (and that's a big if) I decide to do it.



#24 BeccaBoo88

Posted 16 January 2013 - 10:16 AM

QUOTE (YodaTheWrinkledOne @ 16/01/2013, 11:05 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
whether it's an appropriate offer is your call - you know him, you know yourself and you know the circumstances. I wouldn't necessarily automatically assume the worst (or the best for that matter) - it depends on context.

If you feel uncomfortable, let your DH know and put it off making a decision until after the baby arrives. Take a rain-check, no harm done. At that time, if YOU want to have the surgery, then make some appointments then. But really, while the offer has been made by your DH, the decision has to be made by you and the process for getting it done has to be done at YOUR pace, at your instigation, so that you fell comfortable about it all.


original.gif I guess this is the conclusion I have come to also. There is no rush, my nose isn't going anywhere, so maybe we should talk baby and recovery from that before we go any further.

#25 Propaganda

Posted 16 January 2013 - 10:56 AM

I'd be pretty disgusted if my husband was deciding I'd complained about certain body parts enough for him to suggest surgery. That is in my relationship though, I don't know how yours works.

I complain about my nose often too, but I would be incredibly hurt and outraged if my husband took that as his cue to tell me he'd pay to have me "fixed up."




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

How to talk about your pregnancy at work

The workplace isn't always a friendly place for pregnant women. Yet working women inclined to conceal a pregnancy from prying coworkers may be better off opening up and carrying on, according to a new study.

Tell us your story to win!

To celebrate Mother's Day this year we are giving you the chance to win one of five great prizes simply by telling us your story.

Where to get help to help your baby sleep

There is so much pressure about having a baby who sleeps 'all night' , it's no wonder you worry about your baby if she wakes in the night.

Vintage baby names having a comeback

What makes some names have comebacks while others silently fade into oblivion? A few factors come into play.

When your partner doesn't want you to breastfeed

Dads can have many reasons for not wanting their partners to breastfeed their baby, but both parents should learn more about it before making a final decision.

Model mum Sarah Stage shares post-baby selfie

Most new mums would recoil at the thought, but Sarah Stage has shared a post-pregnancy selfie just four days after giving birth.

I'll admit it: I have last child parenting fatigue

If you're a new mum and feeling ignored by the older mum/the old hand/the has-been, please know, it's not you, it's me. Blame the last child parenting fatigue.

Exhaustion is not the same as tiredness

Having a new baby isn't tiring - it can be downright exhausting.

Five posterior babies, four home births

I was on a high. I'd done it all by myself with no help from anyone.

Mum's list of birthday gift demands goes viral

We're big fans of kids' birthday parties - but this is one bash we're glad we didn't get an invite to.

Kate Middleton to receive 'loyalty discount' for second birth

Everybody loves a bargain - including the Duchess of Cambridge.

Fish & chip shop owner's sad note goes viral

A lengthy note put on the window of a fish & chip shop has gone viral due to the writer's serious doubts about the romance of travel.

Pregnant women need good nutrition advice, not judgment

Pregnant women are under pressure to do all the "right things" to have a healthy child. It results in women feeling judged about their decisions.

When your child wants you to have another baby

Giving your child a sibling when you don't want to have another baby can be a complex issue.

William Tyrrell's mum speaks out: 'We hope he is still alive'

The mother of missing toddler William Tyrrell says she has a vision that somebody "picked him up and moved him on ... that's the only way ... to explain for him not to be there".

Family comes first for 23-year-old Tommy Connolly

Most 23-year-old blokes spend their hard earned cash on fun times with mates or romantic dinners with their girlfriend, but not Tommy Connolly.

Newborn all-girl quintuplets 'doing great'

The first all-female quintuplets born in the United States were delivered last week, at 28 weeks and two days.

Model mum's big baby silences critics

He may be less than a week old, but baby James Hunter has already helped his model mum silence her critics.

Jammy, Hula Hoop, Rage: Reddit reveals most unusual baby names

A recent Reddit thread has revealed some of the more creative names in the world.

Woman awakens from coma, learns she gave birth

A US woman awakened this week from a four-month-long coma that doctors had feared would be permanent and learned that she had given birth to a baby boy, according to her family.

'Give us a break': mum sent shocking letter over Facebook baby pics

Posting a lot of baby photos doesn't make you a bad person. It may make your Facebook feed a little irritating, but it doesn't make you a bad person.

In defense of the dads who do so much

It's time to shift the focus off what dads aren’t doing and shine it on what they are.

The modern cloth nappies too cute to cover up

If you're only just joining the modern cloth nappy movement, or would like to spruce up your collection, we have to introduce you to Designer Bums.

How breastfeeding can affect your libido

When you’ve just had a baby, having sex isn’t usually top priority. In fact, for a lot of women it rates about as appealing as changing another dirty nappy.

Should pregnant women be allowed to use 'parent and child' car parking spots?

Is it acceptable to use these car parking spots when pregnant? How many of us would admit to doing it?

Healthy baby from sperm taken 48 hours after a man died

Fertility doctors have described their "most extraordinary case" - creating a healthy baby from sperm taken 48 hours after a man had died.

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Last chance to win a year's supply of toys

You have less than a week left to win your child one of five Fisher-Price toy packs valued at over $600 each - hurry, enter today!

Childcare is a big problem, but there's more to it

Let’s keep talking about these issues and not allow them to be put into a neat little box that’s labelled ‘Fix childcare and everything is solved’.

Pink's awesome response to body-shaming trolls

When trolls felt the need to comment on 35-year-old singer-songwriter Pink's weight, her answer was an awesome ode to body love.

Fertility clinic offers egg donors $5000

A national chain of fertility clinics is offering egg donors a $5000 payment to cover their expenses, a first for Australia which is raising concerns the money could act as an inducement.

Baby boy abandoned in India amid fresh surrogacy concerns

Australian officials could do nothing to stop an Australian couple from abandoning their baby son, born through surrogacy in India, after they decided they did not want to bring him to Australia.

Herd immunity and community responsibility: how free-riders can make kids suffer

Individual choice works for haircuts and handbags, but not for preventing infectious diseases that kill kids.

Photographer captures 'unexpected beauty' of birth

If there is one thing Leilani Rogers knows about childbirth, it is that no two deliveries are ever the same.

Expectations vs the reality of making a toddler's clothes

Note to self: less sewing, more life. Not the party dress, but the party. The toddler, as usual, has it all figured out.

Mum meets 'dead' daughter 49 years after birth

In 1965, Zella Jackson-Price was told her premature baby girl had died shortly after birth.

How pregnancy probiotics can help you and your baby

New research suggests that taking specific pregnancy probiotics could be the answer to a range of common pregnancy side effects.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

 

ENTER NOW!

Win a year's worth of toys

Last week to submit a picture of your baby at play for your chance to win. Visit the Play Wall to view our recent entries.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.