Jump to content

Plastic Surgery


  • Please log in to reply
41 replies to this topic

#1 BeccaBoo88

Posted 14 January 2013 - 09:17 AM

Last night over dinner I was playing with my food (yes, I still do this) and checking how straight my teeth are in the imprint they left in an apple. So DF and I talked about me getting my braces back on my lower teeth - something I've mentioned before, but am not overly keen on after having them on for 2 years as a teen.
THEN all of a sudden, DF says 'I've been thinking about your birthday present, and if you really want a nose job we can start seeing consultants'.

I have mentioned my nose to him a couple of times.. just the way I think most girls will say 'oh I hate my (insert body part here)'. Yes, it has a bump on it, nothing major, if I knew there was an easy fix I would probably do it, but I don't know if surgery is an over the top solution...

The next thing he said was, 'but noone can know I have offered to get it for you - your family would kill me if they thought it was my idea - which it isn't! I just know you've mentioned it and if you want it, I want you to know I will get it for you'... He is a great guy, I am sure he would not have offered if I hadn't mentioned my nose to him a couple of times in the past - he cares about the way we both look, but I don't think he wants to start changing me in any big way.

So, I guess my question is what do you think? Just a nice gesture? Something more to it? And would you accept the offer knowing your family disagrees with the idea of any kind of cosmetic surgery??

#2 snuffles

Posted 14 January 2013 - 09:20 AM

It's up to you, who cares what your family thinks.

Plastic surgery is NMS at all but it's your nose, you can do what you like with it.



#3 bubzillaiscoming

Posted 14 January 2013 - 09:29 AM

I agree with Snuffles - you obviously aren't being pressured by your DF, so if it is something you would like to do, then go for it.

I often think I would like to get a boobie lift (lift, not implants)  once all my babies have stopped BFing, but I think I would be too scared to go through with it. I just like the idea!!

I wouldn't mention it to your family. 2 of my siblings have had their ears put back after YEARS of stressing and being unhappy with them. To be honest, I didn't really notice with either of them, they just looked a bit different but they both feel much better about themselves.

If you do it, make sure you get a new haircut or something, so that people can see something obviously different, but don't immediately notice it biggrin.gif

#4 Especially*K*

Posted 14 January 2013 - 09:32 AM

If you would like to get it done i dont see a problem with it. I'd take it as a nice gesture from your hubby.

#5 mollybot

Posted 14 January 2013 - 08:10 PM

Unless you really hate it and its affecting your life I wouldn't.

Surgery sucks !! It hurts like hell, even with painkillers, and if you react to the general, its worse....

I mean, you may have already had surgery and are ok with it, but I've had surgery due to medical issues and its not something I would do because "I don't like my nose".

ouchy ouch ouch. My surgery was on my neck, not my face, but OUCH !!!!


PS: I am the world's worst wimp. I've had three caesers too, and that was just OK, but only cause I told my anesthetist "I'm a screamer, a fainter and a vomiter" and he was onto it from the start biggrin.gif

#6 PaulineN

Posted 14 January 2013 - 08:21 PM

If it bothers you - do it. It's your body but you must only do it for you. I've had my nose done about 14 years ago. I hated it and used to look in the mirror all the time putting my finger on the bump so it looked 'bump free'. So glad I did it and wish I had done it years earlier before my wedding (hate the wedding pics with my big snozz)  original.gif

Remember, its a permanent change you have to live with and only you should decide whether to get it.

#7 Guest_3Keiki_*

Posted 14 January 2013 - 08:26 PM

OP just a couple of things...
You say that you and DF started talking about you getting braces on your LOWER BACK teeth, because of the imprint they made on the apple, your not keen on it because you had them as a kid. Why in gods name would you need braces on your lower back teeth???? WHo the heck is examining your bite imprint??
Before you even got started I wondered who has got the desire for perfection...
Then the 'he cares about how we both look' right so he spends equal time in front of a mirror then.
OP IF you  haven't mentioned your nose more than a couple of times to your DF then YES he is trying to change the way you look, he is actively asking you to achieve an ideal you don't fit right now, if he wasn't he wouldn't be offering a surgical prodcedure for your birthday he would be taking youto the Maldives, BUT you maybe ok with that as you are checking an apple for your teeth imprint - if you are then do what you want, yes it is surgery, yes all surgery carries risk and yes it hurts like hell - I have had my nose done after having it smashed. But in these kinds of situations I refer to a sig of a fellow EB member that I just love (the sig I mean) something about removing the signposts.....

#8 Toodee

Posted 14 January 2013 - 09:51 PM

It doesn't sound like he was pressuring you at all with his offer. Just letting you know that the option is there if you want to take it. Think hard about what YOU want and make your decision for YOU. After all, you are the person who has to live with your nose and if you really hate it I don't see what is so bad about changing it.

#9 Gembac8019

Posted 14 January 2013 - 10:51 PM

I've had my nose done in 2009 and all I can say is that even tho I LOVE the end result, It was pure hell to recover from. It is not a walk in the park and very painful.

#10 mummabubba

Posted 14 January 2013 - 10:59 PM

Heck yeah - go for it!

#11 libbylu

Posted 14 January 2013 - 11:11 PM

Well, I think it's up to you.  I wouldn't be taking my partners opinion into account.  Is that the priority for how you want to spend your money?
I am 36 and considering getting something done to straighten my teeth.  I never had any orthodontics as a child and my teeth are not too bad, but the front two are crooked.  As a fresh faced smooth skinned young women it wasn't really an issue, but as I age I think that there is not much I can do about the wrinkles (at least, not permanently) but I could fix up my teeth, and that would be a long term improvement.
I don't think it's really any of your family's business.

#12 BeccaBoo88

Posted 15 January 2013 - 11:44 AM

3Keiki - I said 'back on my lower teeth' not my lower back teeth, meaning I already had them, didn't wear my plate and they moved.  original.gif

Thanks so much for the feedback everyone.

The money side is something we will discuss after consultations. I would LOVE a trip the the Maldives, but with a baby due in March, I don't think that will be happening! hahah.

Now I'm just scared about the pain side of it! Gah!


#13 Ferelsmegz

Posted 15 January 2013 - 11:54 AM

I say do it if you want!

I would love a nose job... mine is terrible - I broke it when I was about 11 (fell out of the top bunk straight onto it) but didnt get it set at the time..

#14 Guest_~Karla~_*

Posted 15 January 2013 - 01:37 PM

Apart from the pain factor, I can think of at least 100 things I would rather spend that sort of money on. Although, I would lurve a new set of boobs (breastfeeding 4 babies has left them very sadly lacking of their former glory), I
a) don't have time for the surgery,
b) don't have time for the recovery,
c) can't be bothered inflicting that much pain on myself,
d) would consider it a waste of money when there are so many other ways I could spend it.
Not to mention I would be really, really offended if my husband suggested I surgically altered my appearance.

But, it's up to you. If it's what you want, go for it. Doesn't matter what your family think, they're not the ones who have to live with your nose. But make sure if you do, you do it 100% for you, not your partner.

#15 Apageintime

Posted 15 January 2013 - 02:45 PM

It's your body and you can do with it what you like, my BFF got a breast reduction about 5 years ago though and was very sore for a fair while after, so just make sure you're prepared for the recovery time.

Edited by Apageintime, 15 January 2013 - 02:48 PM.


#16 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 15 January 2013 - 02:52 PM

QUOTE (snuffles @ 14/01/2013, 09:20 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It's up to you, who cares what your family thinks.

Plastic surgery is NMS at all but it's your nose, you can do what you like with it.

totally agree with this.

I'm not opposed to the idea of plastic surgery but my biggest reasons why I haven't done it are
a) I don't have time for the surgery (maybe when kids are older??),
b) I don't have time for the recovery (again, kids, maybe when they are older),
c ) it's expensive and we just don't have that kind of cash lying around

Only do it if YOU want it.  Not your DH or anyone else's opinion counts.  It's entirely your decision about whether you want it.

FWIW, if I had no barriers, I'd get a tummy tuck, thigh liposuction and correction for my droopy boobs.  Everything that has basically radically altered by pregnancy and childbirth.

Edited by YodaTheWrinkledOne, 15 January 2013 - 02:54 PM.


#17 BeccaBoo88

Posted 16 January 2013 - 09:09 AM

I agree with what you've all said about doing it for me, but the thing is I would never consider it because I don't have the money and never have had it, but now it's been offered I am more keen.

It's always been something he and I have joked about - I give him two babies, he gives me two boobies.

But we have a baby due in March and I'm not sure now about the recovery, I didn't really think about that side of it.. hmm..

It's not my birthday until June, but he asked me last night if I want to go to a consultation while I'm on my pre-baby maternity leave...

#18 BeYOUtiful

Posted 16 January 2013 - 09:20 AM

No one has mentioned the surgeries that go wrong, something to think about.

#19 BeccaBoo88

Posted 16 January 2013 - 09:40 AM

QUOTE (Madame Catty @ 16/01/2013, 10:29 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm really surprised at some of these answers.

The OP has mentioned to her partner "a couple of times" the usual female complaint of "I hate my *insert body part*". At no time has she mentioned wanting surgery to fix it. I've mentioned to dh quite a few times about my wriggly stomach after two kids and would be quite furious and insulted if he offered up surgery as a solution. The notion is quite ridiculous to me. The partner should be spending his time telling the OP she there is nothing wrong with her nose, not offering to buy her a nose surgery b'day present. I don't think it's a nice gesture at all, and like I said, I would be furious and insulted.


This is what I was wondering originially. If people think it's an appropriate offer or if he's gone too far.

I already mentioned that he is concerned about how we look - he's a PT and trains very hard to look the way he does. He never ever puts me down, he regularly tells me i'm pretty, blah blah blah, but even yesterday he asked if I got weighed at my last OB appointment and I said yep, I'm x KG now and he said wow you were fatter than that when we got together!

It's the norm in his group of friends. Botox, lip injections, breasts, tummy tucks - they are all gifts that I know of in the last 18 months - including some surgeries for the guys. So to him it's just the norm and he isn't saying to get it done, but the offer has been repeated since my first post.

He is always supportive, but I just don't know if this crosses a line. And the fact he's told me I can't tell my family he offered makes me think that he doesn't agree with it....
I'm just a bit confused. I have always been self conscious of it (no photos from the side) but it's never been something that keeps me up at night.. but now the offer is there I have been thinking about it more. It's like something I always said I would do, but now that it's there I have to make a real world decision about it!

#20 Oriental lily

Posted 16 January 2013 - 09:44 AM

I agree with Madamecatty.

I would be devastated if DH offered me plastic surgery UNLESS it was a significant problem that was greatly distressing me and he was offering it for my emotional health.

How insulting.

Op your post put a bad taste in my mouth.

I bet you have thought about your nose and it's perceived flaws 10 times more since the offer?
I bet you it annoys you more now than it did before the offer.

What ypur parter has done has said ''I think you would look better with a nose job' and dressed it upto look like its something you have been wanting and he has been extremely generous in offering this self improvement  surgery.

When the brutal truth it's for himself to have a 'prettier' wife.

That you have admitted tat he is conscious about appearances confirms it.


#21 Country (deci)Mel

Posted 16 January 2013 - 09:59 AM

I would be most offended if someone suggested I needed plastic surgery.

As an aside: the most beautiful looking woman I knew growing up (a friend of my sister) saved up and got a nose job as she perceived some flaw in her long elegant nose.

She went from utterly stunning to 'kinda pretty' - the lesson there being, your face is your face, who knows what gives it it's unique beauty - but don't think you and/or a scalpel happy surgeon can chose a better option that what nature provided.

OP I think both you and especially your DP need to stop focussing on external beauty for a while and start working on your inner selves.

What on earth will happen if your baby turns out to be a funny looking little kid?  Will he refuse to be seen with it?

#22 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 16 January 2013 - 10:05 AM

QUOTE (BeccaBoo88 @ 16/01/2013, 09:40 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
This is what I was wondering originially. If people think it's an appropriate offer or if he's gone too far.

I already mentioned that he is concerned about how we look - he's a PT and trains very hard to look the way he does. He never ever puts me down, he regularly tells me i'm pretty, blah blah blah, but even yesterday he asked if I got weighed at my last OB appointment and I said yep, I'm x KG now and he said wow you were fatter than that when we got together!

It's the norm in his group of friends. Botox, lip injections, breasts, tummy tucks - they are all gifts that I know of in the last 18 months - including some surgeries for the guys. So to him it's just the norm and he isn't saying to get it done, but the offer has been repeated since my first post.

He is always supportive, but I just don't know if this crosses a line. And the fact he's told me I can't tell my family he offered makes me think that he doesn't agree with it....
I'm just a bit confused. I have always been self conscious of it (no photos from the side) but it's never been something that keeps me up at night.. but now the offer is there I have been thinking about it more. It's like something I always said I would do, but now that it's there I have to make a real world decision about it!

whether it's an appropriate offer is your call - you know him, you know yourself and you know the circumstances.  I wouldn't necessarily automatically assume the worst (or the best for that matter) - it depends on context.

If you feel uncomfortable, let your DH know and put it off making a decision until after the baby arrives.  Take a rain-check, no harm done.  At that time, if YOU want to have the surgery, then make some appointments then.  But really, while the offer has been made by your DH, the decision has to be made by you and the process for getting it done has to be done at YOUR pace, at your instigation, so that you fell comfortable about it all.

#23 BeccaBoo88

Posted 16 January 2013 - 10:14 AM

I agree with the statement about how now I'm thinking about something I wouldn't have thought about before. But it's the same as I don't think about driving a ferari because its never been attainable, now it is I'm trying to work out what I really want to do.

I really appreciate all the replies - both the do it and the forget it. I really was just asking for feedback to see what other thought and I've certainly gotten that! original.gif

He is concerned about the way we both look, but really, who isn't. I don't know if you have all read the 'do you leave the house without makeup?' thread, but its was an overwhelming no from when I last read it. And just for the record, he never suggested I need it, just opening the door for me if I choose to accept.

I'm not defending his actions, I'm not sure I agree with him offering, but I do appreciate the thought that he wants to make me happy and maybe this is what he's been told works by his friends.

I really don't know and I am just throwing around what might have happened.

At the end of the day, it is my choice, I know that. I will not be doing it for him or any one else, but myself IF (and that's a big if) I decide to do it.



#24 BeccaBoo88

Posted 16 January 2013 - 10:16 AM

QUOTE (YodaTheWrinkledOne @ 16/01/2013, 11:05 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
whether it's an appropriate offer is your call - you know him, you know yourself and you know the circumstances. I wouldn't necessarily automatically assume the worst (or the best for that matter) - it depends on context.

If you feel uncomfortable, let your DH know and put it off making a decision until after the baby arrives. Take a rain-check, no harm done. At that time, if YOU want to have the surgery, then make some appointments then. But really, while the offer has been made by your DH, the decision has to be made by you and the process for getting it done has to be done at YOUR pace, at your instigation, so that you fell comfortable about it all.


original.gif I guess this is the conclusion I have come to also. There is no rush, my nose isn't going anywhere, so maybe we should talk baby and recovery from that before we go any further.

#25 Propaganda

Posted 16 January 2013 - 10:56 AM

I'd be pretty disgusted if my husband was deciding I'd complained about certain body parts enough for him to suggest surgery. That is in my relationship though, I don't know how yours works.

I complain about my nose often too, but I would be incredibly hurt and outraged if my husband took that as his cue to tell me he'd pay to have me "fixed up."




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

Why I breastfed my son until he was three

The fact that I not only breastfed my son, but breastfed him for three and a half years, seems pretty incredible in retrospect.

Do babies and young children see ghosts?

Do babies and young children see ghosts? If you’ve pondered the question, you’re not alone.

15 years with Essential Baby: meet Therese

"Life has a funny way of giving you what you need when you need it the most."

Mum causes a stir by taking a stand against leggings

A mum has found herself the subject of debate after claiming tight bottoms cause lustful thoughts in men.

Don't set a parenting goal for 2015 - do this instead

The problem with goal setting as a parent is the measure. How do we really know if we’re succeeding?

5 pregnancy myths that just won't go away

When you're expecting, it often seems like everyone is keen to offer advice about what you should and shouldn't do in the interests of your health and wellbeing.

RPA hospital contacting mums after discovering vaccine storage fault

Sydney's Royal Prince Alfred Hospital (RPA) is trying to contact women who had babies at the facility after discovering a fault in a refrigerator containing vaccines.

'Nutella' not a baby name, French court says

A French court has blocked parents from naming their baby girl after the hazelnut spread Nutella, arguing it would make her the target of mockery.

Why I'm never calling myself 'just a mum' again

I’ve grown three human beings. I feed them, dress them, teach them, care for them and love them 24 hours a day. Yet for eight years, when I meet new people and they’ve asked me what I do, I tell them: “I’m just a mum”.

Rosie Batty named 2015 Australian of the Year

One year ago, Rosie Batty could not have imagined she'd be where she is. Tonight the grieving mum who put domestic violence on the national agenda was named Australian of the Year.

Five reasons to hug more

Hugging – some of us thrive on it, even depend on it – and then there are those who don't care for it really. So, are they missing out?

Help - my three-year-old has started throwing tantrums

My daughter never went through the "terrible twos" but began throwing wild tantrums shortly after her third birthday.

That's commitment

First peek at Sonia Kruger's daughter Maggie

"She smells so good, I could eat her," Kruger tells co-host David Campbell.

Mum assists in own caesarean surgery

A mum who partly delivered her own twins during a caesarean has encouraged other women to take control of their birthing experience.

How to handle common childhood regressions

Regression can be a natural and common part of development prompted by a variety of factors, but that doesn't make it less frustrating.

Disgruntled dad's pram ad goes viral

When buying a second hand pram, there are lots of things to take into consideration. 

Man discovers he's a dad after finding 55-year-old letter

Discovering you are about to father a baby is startling enough - never mind finding out you have a 61-year-old son.

15 thoughts mums have during a tantrum

Ranging from mild to feral and triggered by events both minor and major, tantrums certainly keep life interesting.

Natural pain relief in the early stages of labour

While managing labour pains on your own can be daunting, there are a number of natural pain relief options to help you cope until you are admitted to hospital.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Forgotten Baby Syndrome claims the life of toddler

One baby dies every eight days in the back of a car in the US, victims of 'forgotten baby syndrome'.

For a brief time, I was touched by an angel

For a brief time, I was touched by an angel. You stole my heart, and changed me into the women I am today.

Chinese woman gives birth to quintuplets

After six years of trying for a baby, a couple’s dreams have come true many times over after the mum gave birth to quintuplets this week.

Chrissie Swan has reached her "sex quota"

Chrissie Swan says she and her partner have sex once a year due to her fear of falling pregnant.

Stars help save choking babies

It's an important lesson to learn, but one that busy new mums and dads might overlook until it's too late.

New Girl star Zooey Deschanel pregnant

Actress Zooey Deschanel is expecting her first child with her producer boyfriend Jacob Pechenik.

16 times 'dad reflexes' saved the day

Of course, in some cases they may be the ones who actually got their child into a precarious position in the first place, but we'll ignore that for now.

Couple's 'non-traditional' pregnancy announcement goes viral

Knowing you are not the father of your pregnant wife's baby would usually indicate a rocky relationship ahead for traditional parents.

The trials and tribulations of identical triplet newborns

Pip Donnelly is still playing spot the difference with her newborn identical triplets, Isabelle, Georgina and Frankie.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Earthquake baby thriving five years on

Jenny Alexis is lucky to be alive after spending four days buried in the rubble of the 2010 Haitian earthquake, but now she's a thriving five year old.

Please don't say I'm lucky because I was adopted

On the one hand I was having a regular life with friends and sports and sleepovers and school. But I was also always wondering: Did my mother love me? What was wrong with me?

An open letter to non-parents who offer advice on child-rearing

Kitty, when you’re the parent of my child you’re welcome to wade in with an opinion – but until then, I’d prefer you to have a supportive ear and a glass of wine ready.

Couple arrested over baby gun video

A US couple faces charges after investigators say they found mobile phone videos showing the woman's 12-month-old daughter putting a handgun in her mouth.

NSW Health dumps 10-year limit on frozen embryos

A 10-year time limit on storing frozen embryos that were created with donor sperm has been dropped by the NSW government.

How my happy-go-lucky husband became a monster

Sharan Nicholson-Rogers watched her husband change from a happy-go-lucky police officer into an unpredictable man prone to violent and emotional outbursts.

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes, too

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes in line with their pregnant partners, a new study shows.

'They were just doing their job': mum of toddler killed in police chase gone wrong

"They were just doing their job. I feel so sorry for them. It is all just too sad."

Miscarriages to be formally recognised by NSW government

Women who miscarry will be able to obtain an optional "recognition of loss" certificate as a formal recognition of their often heartbreaking loss.

Cafe cubby house 'too noisy' for neighbours

Teenage parties, domestic disputes, or raucous late night pubs are the things that usually come to mind when you think neighbourhood noise complaints.

Dad films baby playing with snake

Most parents would not consider a snake an appropriate playmate for their baby, but a US dad who filmed his daughter playing with a python has defended himself against criticism.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Back to School Offer

Findababysitter.com.au

We've got you covered for this school year. Use www.findababysitter.com.au to meet local nannies now.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.