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Plastic Surgery


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#1 BeccaBoo88

Posted 14 January 2013 - 09:17 AM

Last night over dinner I was playing with my food (yes, I still do this) and checking how straight my teeth are in the imprint they left in an apple. So DF and I talked about me getting my braces back on my lower teeth - something I've mentioned before, but am not overly keen on after having them on for 2 years as a teen.
THEN all of a sudden, DF says 'I've been thinking about your birthday present, and if you really want a nose job we can start seeing consultants'.

I have mentioned my nose to him a couple of times.. just the way I think most girls will say 'oh I hate my (insert body part here)'. Yes, it has a bump on it, nothing major, if I knew there was an easy fix I would probably do it, but I don't know if surgery is an over the top solution...

The next thing he said was, 'but noone can know I have offered to get it for you - your family would kill me if they thought it was my idea - which it isn't! I just know you've mentioned it and if you want it, I want you to know I will get it for you'... He is a great guy, I am sure he would not have offered if I hadn't mentioned my nose to him a couple of times in the past - he cares about the way we both look, but I don't think he wants to start changing me in any big way.

So, I guess my question is what do you think? Just a nice gesture? Something more to it? And would you accept the offer knowing your family disagrees with the idea of any kind of cosmetic surgery??

#2 snuffles

Posted 14 January 2013 - 09:20 AM

It's up to you, who cares what your family thinks.

Plastic surgery is NMS at all but it's your nose, you can do what you like with it.



#3 bubzillaiscoming

Posted 14 January 2013 - 09:29 AM

I agree with Snuffles - you obviously aren't being pressured by your DF, so if it is something you would like to do, then go for it.

I often think I would like to get a boobie lift (lift, not implants)  once all my babies have stopped BFing, but I think I would be too scared to go through with it. I just like the idea!!

I wouldn't mention it to your family. 2 of my siblings have had their ears put back after YEARS of stressing and being unhappy with them. To be honest, I didn't really notice with either of them, they just looked a bit different but they both feel much better about themselves.

If you do it, make sure you get a new haircut or something, so that people can see something obviously different, but don't immediately notice it biggrin.gif

#4 Especially*K*

Posted 14 January 2013 - 09:32 AM

If you would like to get it done i dont see a problem with it. I'd take it as a nice gesture from your hubby.

#5 mollybot

Posted 14 January 2013 - 08:10 PM

Unless you really hate it and its affecting your life I wouldn't.

Surgery sucks !! It hurts like hell, even with painkillers, and if you react to the general, its worse....

I mean, you may have already had surgery and are ok with it, but I've had surgery due to medical issues and its not something I would do because "I don't like my nose".

ouchy ouch ouch. My surgery was on my neck, not my face, but OUCH !!!!


PS: I am the world's worst wimp. I've had three caesers too, and that was just OK, but only cause I told my anesthetist "I'm a screamer, a fainter and a vomiter" and he was onto it from the start biggrin.gif

#6 PaulineN

Posted 14 January 2013 - 08:21 PM

If it bothers you - do it. It's your body but you must only do it for you. I've had my nose done about 14 years ago. I hated it and used to look in the mirror all the time putting my finger on the bump so it looked 'bump free'. So glad I did it and wish I had done it years earlier before my wedding (hate the wedding pics with my big snozz)  original.gif

Remember, its a permanent change you have to live with and only you should decide whether to get it.

#7 Guest_3Keiki_*

Posted 14 January 2013 - 08:26 PM

OP just a couple of things...
You say that you and DF started talking about you getting braces on your LOWER BACK teeth, because of the imprint they made on the apple, your not keen on it because you had them as a kid. Why in gods name would you need braces on your lower back teeth???? WHo the heck is examining your bite imprint??
Before you even got started I wondered who has got the desire for perfection...
Then the 'he cares about how we both look' right so he spends equal time in front of a mirror then.
OP IF you  haven't mentioned your nose more than a couple of times to your DF then YES he is trying to change the way you look, he is actively asking you to achieve an ideal you don't fit right now, if he wasn't he wouldn't be offering a surgical prodcedure for your birthday he would be taking youto the Maldives, BUT you maybe ok with that as you are checking an apple for your teeth imprint - if you are then do what you want, yes it is surgery, yes all surgery carries risk and yes it hurts like hell - I have had my nose done after having it smashed. But in these kinds of situations I refer to a sig of a fellow EB member that I just love (the sig I mean) something about removing the signposts.....

#8 Toodee

Posted 14 January 2013 - 09:51 PM

It doesn't sound like he was pressuring you at all with his offer. Just letting you know that the option is there if you want to take it. Think hard about what YOU want and make your decision for YOU. After all, you are the person who has to live with your nose and if you really hate it I don't see what is so bad about changing it.

#9 Gembac8019

Posted 14 January 2013 - 10:51 PM

I've had my nose done in 2009 and all I can say is that even tho I LOVE the end result, It was pure hell to recover from. It is not a walk in the park and very painful.

#10 mummabubba

Posted 14 January 2013 - 10:59 PM

Heck yeah - go for it!

#11 libbylu

Posted 14 January 2013 - 11:11 PM

Well, I think it's up to you.  I wouldn't be taking my partners opinion into account.  Is that the priority for how you want to spend your money?
I am 36 and considering getting something done to straighten my teeth.  I never had any orthodontics as a child and my teeth are not too bad, but the front two are crooked.  As a fresh faced smooth skinned young women it wasn't really an issue, but as I age I think that there is not much I can do about the wrinkles (at least, not permanently) but I could fix up my teeth, and that would be a long term improvement.
I don't think it's really any of your family's business.

#12 BeccaBoo88

Posted 15 January 2013 - 11:44 AM

3Keiki - I said 'back on my lower teeth' not my lower back teeth, meaning I already had them, didn't wear my plate and they moved.  original.gif

Thanks so much for the feedback everyone.

The money side is something we will discuss after consultations. I would LOVE a trip the the Maldives, but with a baby due in March, I don't think that will be happening! hahah.

Now I'm just scared about the pain side of it! Gah!


#13 Ferelsmegz

Posted 15 January 2013 - 11:54 AM

I say do it if you want!

I would love a nose job... mine is terrible - I broke it when I was about 11 (fell out of the top bunk straight onto it) but didnt get it set at the time..

#14 Guest_~Karla~_*

Posted 15 January 2013 - 01:37 PM

Apart from the pain factor, I can think of at least 100 things I would rather spend that sort of money on. Although, I would lurve a new set of boobs (breastfeeding 4 babies has left them very sadly lacking of their former glory), I
a) don't have time for the surgery,
b) don't have time for the recovery,
c) can't be bothered inflicting that much pain on myself,
d) would consider it a waste of money when there are so many other ways I could spend it.
Not to mention I would be really, really offended if my husband suggested I surgically altered my appearance.

But, it's up to you. If it's what you want, go for it. Doesn't matter what your family think, they're not the ones who have to live with your nose. But make sure if you do, you do it 100% for you, not your partner.

#15 Apageintime

Posted 15 January 2013 - 02:45 PM

It's your body and you can do with it what you like, my BFF got a breast reduction about 5 years ago though and was very sore for a fair while after, so just make sure you're prepared for the recovery time.

Edited by Apageintime, 15 January 2013 - 02:48 PM.


#16 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 15 January 2013 - 02:52 PM

QUOTE (snuffles @ 14/01/2013, 09:20 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It's up to you, who cares what your family thinks.

Plastic surgery is NMS at all but it's your nose, you can do what you like with it.

totally agree with this.

I'm not opposed to the idea of plastic surgery but my biggest reasons why I haven't done it are
a) I don't have time for the surgery (maybe when kids are older??),
b) I don't have time for the recovery (again, kids, maybe when they are older),
c ) it's expensive and we just don't have that kind of cash lying around

Only do it if YOU want it.  Not your DH or anyone else's opinion counts.  It's entirely your decision about whether you want it.

FWIW, if I had no barriers, I'd get a tummy tuck, thigh liposuction and correction for my droopy boobs.  Everything that has basically radically altered by pregnancy and childbirth.

Edited by YodaTheWrinkledOne, 15 January 2013 - 02:54 PM.


#17 BeccaBoo88

Posted 16 January 2013 - 09:09 AM

I agree with what you've all said about doing it for me, but the thing is I would never consider it because I don't have the money and never have had it, but now it's been offered I am more keen.

It's always been something he and I have joked about - I give him two babies, he gives me two boobies.

But we have a baby due in March and I'm not sure now about the recovery, I didn't really think about that side of it.. hmm..

It's not my birthday until June, but he asked me last night if I want to go to a consultation while I'm on my pre-baby maternity leave...

#18 BeYOUtiful

Posted 16 January 2013 - 09:20 AM

No one has mentioned the surgeries that go wrong, something to think about.

#19 BeccaBoo88

Posted 16 January 2013 - 09:40 AM

QUOTE (Madame Catty @ 16/01/2013, 10:29 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm really surprised at some of these answers.

The OP has mentioned to her partner "a couple of times" the usual female complaint of "I hate my *insert body part*". At no time has she mentioned wanting surgery to fix it. I've mentioned to dh quite a few times about my wriggly stomach after two kids and would be quite furious and insulted if he offered up surgery as a solution. The notion is quite ridiculous to me. The partner should be spending his time telling the OP she there is nothing wrong with her nose, not offering to buy her a nose surgery b'day present. I don't think it's a nice gesture at all, and like I said, I would be furious and insulted.


This is what I was wondering originially. If people think it's an appropriate offer or if he's gone too far.

I already mentioned that he is concerned about how we look - he's a PT and trains very hard to look the way he does. He never ever puts me down, he regularly tells me i'm pretty, blah blah blah, but even yesterday he asked if I got weighed at my last OB appointment and I said yep, I'm x KG now and he said wow you were fatter than that when we got together!

It's the norm in his group of friends. Botox, lip injections, breasts, tummy tucks - they are all gifts that I know of in the last 18 months - including some surgeries for the guys. So to him it's just the norm and he isn't saying to get it done, but the offer has been repeated since my first post.

He is always supportive, but I just don't know if this crosses a line. And the fact he's told me I can't tell my family he offered makes me think that he doesn't agree with it....
I'm just a bit confused. I have always been self conscious of it (no photos from the side) but it's never been something that keeps me up at night.. but now the offer is there I have been thinking about it more. It's like something I always said I would do, but now that it's there I have to make a real world decision about it!

#20 Oriental lily

Posted 16 January 2013 - 09:44 AM

I agree with Madamecatty.

I would be devastated if DH offered me plastic surgery UNLESS it was a significant problem that was greatly distressing me and he was offering it for my emotional health.

How insulting.

Op your post put a bad taste in my mouth.

I bet you have thought about your nose and it's perceived flaws 10 times more since the offer?
I bet you it annoys you more now than it did before the offer.

What ypur parter has done has said ''I think you would look better with a nose job' and dressed it upto look like its something you have been wanting and he has been extremely generous in offering this self improvement  surgery.

When the brutal truth it's for himself to have a 'prettier' wife.

That you have admitted tat he is conscious about appearances confirms it.


#21 Country (deci)Mel

Posted 16 January 2013 - 09:59 AM

I would be most offended if someone suggested I needed plastic surgery.

As an aside: the most beautiful looking woman I knew growing up (a friend of my sister) saved up and got a nose job as she perceived some flaw in her long elegant nose.

She went from utterly stunning to 'kinda pretty' - the lesson there being, your face is your face, who knows what gives it it's unique beauty - but don't think you and/or a scalpel happy surgeon can chose a better option that what nature provided.

OP I think both you and especially your DP need to stop focussing on external beauty for a while and start working on your inner selves.

What on earth will happen if your baby turns out to be a funny looking little kid?  Will he refuse to be seen with it?

#22 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 16 January 2013 - 10:05 AM

QUOTE (BeccaBoo88 @ 16/01/2013, 09:40 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
This is what I was wondering originially. If people think it's an appropriate offer or if he's gone too far.

I already mentioned that he is concerned about how we look - he's a PT and trains very hard to look the way he does. He never ever puts me down, he regularly tells me i'm pretty, blah blah blah, but even yesterday he asked if I got weighed at my last OB appointment and I said yep, I'm x KG now and he said wow you were fatter than that when we got together!

It's the norm in his group of friends. Botox, lip injections, breasts, tummy tucks - they are all gifts that I know of in the last 18 months - including some surgeries for the guys. So to him it's just the norm and he isn't saying to get it done, but the offer has been repeated since my first post.

He is always supportive, but I just don't know if this crosses a line. And the fact he's told me I can't tell my family he offered makes me think that he doesn't agree with it....
I'm just a bit confused. I have always been self conscious of it (no photos from the side) but it's never been something that keeps me up at night.. but now the offer is there I have been thinking about it more. It's like something I always said I would do, but now that it's there I have to make a real world decision about it!

whether it's an appropriate offer is your call - you know him, you know yourself and you know the circumstances.  I wouldn't necessarily automatically assume the worst (or the best for that matter) - it depends on context.

If you feel uncomfortable, let your DH know and put it off making a decision until after the baby arrives.  Take a rain-check, no harm done.  At that time, if YOU want to have the surgery, then make some appointments then.  But really, while the offer has been made by your DH, the decision has to be made by you and the process for getting it done has to be done at YOUR pace, at your instigation, so that you fell comfortable about it all.

#23 BeccaBoo88

Posted 16 January 2013 - 10:14 AM

I agree with the statement about how now I'm thinking about something I wouldn't have thought about before. But it's the same as I don't think about driving a ferari because its never been attainable, now it is I'm trying to work out what I really want to do.

I really appreciate all the replies - both the do it and the forget it. I really was just asking for feedback to see what other thought and I've certainly gotten that! original.gif

He is concerned about the way we both look, but really, who isn't. I don't know if you have all read the 'do you leave the house without makeup?' thread, but its was an overwhelming no from when I last read it. And just for the record, he never suggested I need it, just opening the door for me if I choose to accept.

I'm not defending his actions, I'm not sure I agree with him offering, but I do appreciate the thought that he wants to make me happy and maybe this is what he's been told works by his friends.

I really don't know and I am just throwing around what might have happened.

At the end of the day, it is my choice, I know that. I will not be doing it for him or any one else, but myself IF (and that's a big if) I decide to do it.



#24 BeccaBoo88

Posted 16 January 2013 - 10:16 AM

QUOTE (YodaTheWrinkledOne @ 16/01/2013, 11:05 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
whether it's an appropriate offer is your call - you know him, you know yourself and you know the circumstances. I wouldn't necessarily automatically assume the worst (or the best for that matter) - it depends on context.

If you feel uncomfortable, let your DH know and put it off making a decision until after the baby arrives. Take a rain-check, no harm done. At that time, if YOU want to have the surgery, then make some appointments then. But really, while the offer has been made by your DH, the decision has to be made by you and the process for getting it done has to be done at YOUR pace, at your instigation, so that you fell comfortable about it all.


original.gif I guess this is the conclusion I have come to also. There is no rush, my nose isn't going anywhere, so maybe we should talk baby and recovery from that before we go any further.

#25 Propaganda

Posted 16 January 2013 - 10:56 AM

I'd be pretty disgusted if my husband was deciding I'd complained about certain body parts enough for him to suggest surgery. That is in my relationship though, I don't know how yours works.

I complain about my nose often too, but I would be incredibly hurt and outraged if my husband took that as his cue to tell me he'd pay to have me "fixed up."




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