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Triggers and memories of my traumatic birth


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#1 Melly_trish

Posted 13 January 2013 - 10:58 PM

No real point to this post but I need to offload.
My first pregnancy ended with a traumatic birth. It was almost 4 years ago and since than I have had another baby without incident. Now my SIL is almost due and I have started having flashbacks.
My first pregnancy was text book. I started getting contractions at 7:00pm a couple of days before my due date. By 10pm they were about 7 mins a part and I called the hospital and told to call back at 5 mins. Around 12am I called back and was told to come in at 3 mins. I managed the pain at home well by hot showers and watching movies. At 3:00am I asked DH to take me to the hospital.  We got there and I was a little anxious but they confirmed that I was experiencing contractions and told me to settle in for a while. At this stage no internal. 30 minutes later I requested an internal to find out I was actually 8cm and moved into the delivery room. Baby was posterior and I had pain through my back (I internalise my pain so was not making much noise or indication that I was in pain) and was using the shower to manage pain. My midwife told me not to expect the baby to arrive for another 2 hours.
So my mum arrived to allow DH a break to call his boss and to grab something to eat. (My mum is also a midwife).  So anyway I started telling the midwife that the baby is coming, that i felt pressure and burning to be told no, it's still progressing. I was left in the ensuite whilst my mum was in the main room talking to the student midwife. I have no idea where my midwife was (she was not in the room).
So I am standing in the shower when my baby fell out of me and landed on the tiles. My mum rushed in and picked my baby off of the ground and the student pressed the emergency button. DS was stunned but became alert. He was taken for scanning and given the all clear. DH missed out on the birth and I felt that I was blamed for how the situation unfolded.
With the birth of DS2 I started getting flashbacks of DS landing on the tiles and with SILs impending birth these flashbacks have started again. I have had counselling and have strategies to manage but I am still so upset that I am in this position of needing help.
Thank you for reading. Sorry for my ramble and any spelling errors (on the iPhone).

#2 Mianta

Posted 17 January 2013 - 05:08 PM

That's awful.

As a midwife, I never, ever disregard any woman who tells me her baby is coming NOW!

Not only is it extremely insulting and disempowering but the situation can lead to one, such as you have described. You never ignore a woman who is giving you a clear indication of what her body is doing.

That midwife was damn lucky that your baby was ok, it could have been a lot worse.

It is absolutely not your fault.

#3 Neph

Posted 17 January 2013 - 05:24 PM

QUOTE (Mianta @ 17/01/2013, 03:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
That midwife was damn lucky that your baby was ok, it could have been a lot worse.

It is absolutely not your fault.


absolutely agree - it's so upsetting to know/experience midwives who are just clearly in the wrong job.

i wish you all the best moving forward ... you and your bubby. bless x




#4 Jax12

Posted 17 January 2013 - 05:35 PM

I wish I had something more helpful to contribute other than I am so sorry that you were treated so poorly, and I am so glad that your DS was okay.

I started to provide a list of strategies but I see you have those in place already.  I agree, it is absolutely unfair that you are in the position of needing help when there was no reason your birth shouldn't have been straightforward.

#5 soontobegran

Posted 17 January 2013 - 05:39 PM

QUOTE (Mianta @ 17/01/2013, 06:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
That's awful.

As a midwife, I never, ever disregard any woman who tells me her baby is coming NOW!

Not only is it extremely insulting and disempowering but the situation can lead to one, such as you have described. You never ignore a woman who is giving you a clear indication of what her body is doing.

That midwife was damn lucky that your baby was ok, it could have been a lot worse.

It is absolutely not your fault.



This ^ 100%.

I do hope you have made the midwife accountable for her behaviour...it is just not on.  sad.gif

#6 Gembac8019

Posted 17 January 2013 - 05:52 PM

sad.gif  my gosh that is terrible!! I'm so sorry to hear how it unfolded. I too hope the midwife is held accountable... that's just not on. Thank goodness your little one is ok.




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