Jump to content

Triggers and memories of my traumatic birth


  • Please log in to reply
5 replies to this topic

#1 Melly_trish

Posted 13 January 2013 - 10:58 PM

No real point to this post but I need to offload.
My first pregnancy ended with a traumatic birth. It was almost 4 years ago and since than I have had another baby without incident. Now my SIL is almost due and I have started having flashbacks.
My first pregnancy was text book. I started getting contractions at 7:00pm a couple of days before my due date. By 10pm they were about 7 mins a part and I called the hospital and told to call back at 5 mins. Around 12am I called back and was told to come in at 3 mins. I managed the pain at home well by hot showers and watching movies. At 3:00am I asked DH to take me to the hospital.  We got there and I was a little anxious but they confirmed that I was experiencing contractions and told me to settle in for a while. At this stage no internal. 30 minutes later I requested an internal to find out I was actually 8cm and moved into the delivery room. Baby was posterior and I had pain through my back (I internalise my pain so was not making much noise or indication that I was in pain) and was using the shower to manage pain. My midwife told me not to expect the baby to arrive for another 2 hours.
So my mum arrived to allow DH a break to call his boss and to grab something to eat. (My mum is also a midwife).  So anyway I started telling the midwife that the baby is coming, that i felt pressure and burning to be told no, it's still progressing. I was left in the ensuite whilst my mum was in the main room talking to the student midwife. I have no idea where my midwife was (she was not in the room).
So I am standing in the shower when my baby fell out of me and landed on the tiles. My mum rushed in and picked my baby off of the ground and the student pressed the emergency button. DS was stunned but became alert. He was taken for scanning and given the all clear. DH missed out on the birth and I felt that I was blamed for how the situation unfolded.
With the birth of DS2 I started getting flashbacks of DS landing on the tiles and with SILs impending birth these flashbacks have started again. I have had counselling and have strategies to manage but I am still so upset that I am in this position of needing help.
Thank you for reading. Sorry for my ramble and any spelling errors (on the iPhone).

#2 Mianta

Posted 17 January 2013 - 05:08 PM

That's awful.

As a midwife, I never, ever disregard any woman who tells me her baby is coming NOW!

Not only is it extremely insulting and disempowering but the situation can lead to one, such as you have described. You never ignore a woman who is giving you a clear indication of what her body is doing.

That midwife was damn lucky that your baby was ok, it could have been a lot worse.

It is absolutely not your fault.

#3 Neph

Posted 17 January 2013 - 05:24 PM

QUOTE (Mianta @ 17/01/2013, 03:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
That midwife was damn lucky that your baby was ok, it could have been a lot worse.

It is absolutely not your fault.


absolutely agree - it's so upsetting to know/experience midwives who are just clearly in the wrong job.

i wish you all the best moving forward ... you and your bubby. bless x




#4 Jax12

Posted 17 January 2013 - 05:35 PM

I wish I had something more helpful to contribute other than I am so sorry that you were treated so poorly, and I am so glad that your DS was okay.

I started to provide a list of strategies but I see you have those in place already.  I agree, it is absolutely unfair that you are in the position of needing help when there was no reason your birth shouldn't have been straightforward.

#5 soontobegran

Posted 17 January 2013 - 05:39 PM

QUOTE (Mianta @ 17/01/2013, 06:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
That's awful.

As a midwife, I never, ever disregard any woman who tells me her baby is coming NOW!

Not only is it extremely insulting and disempowering but the situation can lead to one, such as you have described. You never ignore a woman who is giving you a clear indication of what her body is doing.

That midwife was damn lucky that your baby was ok, it could have been a lot worse.

It is absolutely not your fault.



This ^ 100%.

I do hope you have made the midwife accountable for her behaviour...it is just not on.  sad.gif

#6 Gembac8019

Posted 17 January 2013 - 05:52 PM

sad.gif  my gosh that is terrible!! I'm so sorry to hear how it unfolded. I too hope the midwife is held accountable... that's just not on. Thank goodness your little one is ok.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Life with anxiety

At times, I feel pretty worthless. In those moments, all I want to do is curl up into a ball and hide in the dark. I can try to quiet my mind, but it won?t shut up.

IVF leaves woman pregnant with another couple's twins

An Italian woman has been told the twins she is three months pregnant with are not hers.

'My mother-in-law found out our baby's gender behind our backs'

My husband and I mutually decided that we didn?t want to know our baby's sex before the birth, but his mother couldn't handle that.

What you need for the 'fourth trimester'

In my opinion, the first three months after the birth are the most intense. Here's what got me through that time after welcoming my baby.

Weaning a toddler off a dummy: a 15-day plan

Weaning your child off the dummy can be a traumatic experience for both of you. Here are some tips to help you through.

Choosing to be a solo parent

Two women share their stories of longing for a baby so much that they each decided not to wait for a partner before becoming a mum.

Asphyxia link another piece of the SIDS puzzle

An Australian study has uncovered information which could lead to a better understanding of why babies die from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Rescue dog Zoey and BFF Jasper star in adorable pics

Photographer, self-professed "crazy dog lady" and mum Grace Chon takes photos of rescue dog Zoey and her 10-month-old son Jasper together. The results are just too cute. See more on Instagram @thegracechon.

The ultimate travel stroller: the Mountain Buggy nano

We tried the Mountain Buggy nano and give it an enthusiastic thumbs up. As the ultimate travel stroller, it's practical, has great features, and looks fab, too.

Mum's heartbreak as son dies in road accident

Daly Thomas and her two young sons were walking home from church on Tuesday afternoon. Her youngest son never made it.

New Kate Spade baby bag designs

Don?t adjust your screen: this bright beauty is coming to you in full colour.

Easter gifts for babies, no chocolate in sight!

If this is your little one?s first Easter you might want to mark the occasion with something a little extra special. Here are 10 Easter gift ideas, which won't harm little teeth.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win the brand new phil&teds vibe

Check out the good looking new release of the Vibe 3 and the Verve 4-wheeler inline strollers. To celebrate their release, we have a Vibe with double kit to give away.

Baby sleep

From birth to one year and beyond, read about baby sleep, soothing techniques, routines, and sleep school experiences.

Easter gifts for babies, no chocolate in sight!

If this is your little one?s first Easter you might want to mark the occasion with something a little extra special. Here are 10 Easter gift ideas, which won't harm little teeth.

7 tips for a kid-free trip, not a guilt trip

Although I?m jumping out of my skin to take my child-free holiday, I?m dreading the goodbye. But I?m determined to make the most of it without tarnishing it with guilt or sadness about leaving the kids.

Itchibubs: clothes for babies and toddlers with eczema

Parents of children who suffer from eczema will know only too well the scratching that occurs around the clock. A new clothing range aims to help make everyone more comfortable.

Ear piercing: what age is best?

What is it that shapes our opinions on what?s an 'appropriate' age for our children to get their ears pierced? Parents share their views on how young is too young when it comes to piercing.

Caring for kids helps grandmothers stay mentally alert

Looking after grandchildren can help grandmothers ward off brain disease - but it's also possible to get too much of a good thing, researchers say.

Why I loved my third home water birth

After two water births at home, I was determined to give birth to my son the same way. I just hoped this birth would be quicker than my last two.

Revealed: 7 ways food marketers try to trick consumers

If you?re confused by food labels, you?re not alone. Next time you?re shopping for food, look out for these seven common labelling tricks.

'My mother-in-law found out our baby's gender behind our backs'

My husband and I mutually decided that we didn?t want to know our baby's sex before the birth, but his mother couldn't handle that.

 

Free Printable Activities

Keeping little hands busy

Free printable acitivity pages like colouring in, cutting, word finders, mazes, maths activities and puzzles.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.