Jump to content

Triggers and memories of my traumatic birth


  • Please log in to reply
5 replies to this topic

#1 Melly_trish

Posted 13 January 2013 - 10:58 PM

No real point to this post but I need to offload.
My first pregnancy ended with a traumatic birth. It was almost 4 years ago and since than I have had another baby without incident. Now my SIL is almost due and I have started having flashbacks.
My first pregnancy was text book. I started getting contractions at 7:00pm a couple of days before my due date. By 10pm they were about 7 mins a part and I called the hospital and told to call back at 5 mins. Around 12am I called back and was told to come in at 3 mins. I managed the pain at home well by hot showers and watching movies. At 3:00am I asked DH to take me to the hospital.  We got there and I was a little anxious but they confirmed that I was experiencing contractions and told me to settle in for a while. At this stage no internal. 30 minutes later I requested an internal to find out I was actually 8cm and moved into the delivery room. Baby was posterior and I had pain through my back (I internalise my pain so was not making much noise or indication that I was in pain) and was using the shower to manage pain. My midwife told me not to expect the baby to arrive for another 2 hours.
So my mum arrived to allow DH a break to call his boss and to grab something to eat. (My mum is also a midwife).  So anyway I started telling the midwife that the baby is coming, that i felt pressure and burning to be told no, it's still progressing. I was left in the ensuite whilst my mum was in the main room talking to the student midwife. I have no idea where my midwife was (she was not in the room).
So I am standing in the shower when my baby fell out of me and landed on the tiles. My mum rushed in and picked my baby off of the ground and the student pressed the emergency button. DS was stunned but became alert. He was taken for scanning and given the all clear. DH missed out on the birth and I felt that I was blamed for how the situation unfolded.
With the birth of DS2 I started getting flashbacks of DS landing on the tiles and with SILs impending birth these flashbacks have started again. I have had counselling and have strategies to manage but I am still so upset that I am in this position of needing help.
Thank you for reading. Sorry for my ramble and any spelling errors (on the iPhone).

#2 Mianta

Posted 17 January 2013 - 05:08 PM

That's awful.

As a midwife, I never, ever disregard any woman who tells me her baby is coming NOW!

Not only is it extremely insulting and disempowering but the situation can lead to one, such as you have described. You never ignore a woman who is giving you a clear indication of what her body is doing.

That midwife was damn lucky that your baby was ok, it could have been a lot worse.

It is absolutely not your fault.

#3 Neph

Posted 17 January 2013 - 05:24 PM

QUOTE (Mianta @ 17/01/2013, 03:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
That midwife was damn lucky that your baby was ok, it could have been a lot worse.

It is absolutely not your fault.


absolutely agree - it's so upsetting to know/experience midwives who are just clearly in the wrong job.

i wish you all the best moving forward ... you and your bubby. bless x




#4 Jax12

Posted 17 January 2013 - 05:35 PM

I wish I had something more helpful to contribute other than I am so sorry that you were treated so poorly, and I am so glad that your DS was okay.

I started to provide a list of strategies but I see you have those in place already.  I agree, it is absolutely unfair that you are in the position of needing help when there was no reason your birth shouldn't have been straightforward.

#5 Soontobegran

Posted 17 January 2013 - 05:39 PM

QUOTE (Mianta @ 17/01/2013, 06:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
That's awful.

As a midwife, I never, ever disregard any woman who tells me her baby is coming NOW!

Not only is it extremely insulting and disempowering but the situation can lead to one, such as you have described. You never ignore a woman who is giving you a clear indication of what her body is doing.

That midwife was damn lucky that your baby was ok, it could have been a lot worse.

It is absolutely not your fault.



This ^ 100%.

I do hope you have made the midwife accountable for her behaviour...it is just not on.  sad.gif

#6 Gembac8019

Posted 17 January 2013 - 05:52 PM

sad.gif  my gosh that is terrible!! I'm so sorry to hear how it unfolded. I too hope the midwife is held accountable... that's just not on. Thank goodness your little one is ok.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

Why I breastfed my son until he was three

The fact that I not only breastfed my son, but breastfed him for three and a half years, seems pretty incredible in retrospect.

Do babies and young children see ghosts?

Do babies and young children see ghosts? If you’ve pondered the question, you’re not alone.

15 years with Essential Baby: meet Therese

"Life has a funny way of giving you what you need when you need it the most."

Mum causes a stir by taking a stand against leggings

A mum has found herself the subject of debate after claiming tight bottoms cause lustful thoughts in men.

Don't set a parenting goal for 2015 - do this instead

The problem with goal setting as a parent is the measure. How do we really know if we’re succeeding?

5 pregnancy myths that just won't go away

When you're expecting, it often seems like everyone is keen to offer advice about what you should and shouldn't do in the interests of your health and wellbeing.

RPA hospital contacting mums after discovering vaccine storage fault

Sydney's Royal Prince Alfred Hospital (RPA) is trying to contact women who had babies at the facility after discovering a fault in a refrigerator containing vaccines.

'Nutella' not a baby name, French court says

A French court has blocked parents from naming their baby girl after the hazelnut spread Nutella, arguing it would make her the target of mockery.

Why I'm never calling myself 'just a mum' again

I’ve grown three human beings. I feed them, dress them, teach them, care for them and love them 24 hours a day. Yet for eight years, when I meet new people and they’ve asked me what I do, I tell them: “I’m just a mum”.

Rosie Batty named 2015 Australian of the Year

One year ago, Rosie Batty could not have imagined she'd be where she is. Tonight the grieving mum who put domestic violence on the national agenda was named Australian of the Year.

Five reasons to hug more

Hugging – some of us thrive on it, even depend on it – and then there are those who don't care for it really. So, are they missing out?

Help - my three-year-old has started throwing tantrums

My daughter never went through the "terrible twos" but began throwing wild tantrums shortly after her third birthday.

That's commitment

First peek at Sonia Kruger's daughter Maggie

"She smells so good, I could eat her," Kruger tells co-host David Campbell.

Mum assists in own caesarean surgery

A mum who partly delivered her own twins during a caesarean has encouraged other women to take control of their birthing experience.

How to handle common childhood regressions

Regression can be a natural and common part of development prompted by a variety of factors, but that doesn't make it less frustrating.

Disgruntled dad's pram ad goes viral

When buying a second hand pram, there are lots of things to take into consideration. 

Man discovers he's a dad after finding 55-year-old letter

Discovering you are about to father a baby is startling enough - never mind finding out you have a 61-year-old son.

15 thoughts mums have during a tantrum

Ranging from mild to feral and triggered by events both minor and major, tantrums certainly keep life interesting.

Natural pain relief in the early stages of labour

While managing labour pains on your own can be daunting, there are a number of natural pain relief options to help you cope until you are admitted to hospital.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Forgotten Baby Syndrome claims the life of toddler

One baby dies every eight days in the back of a car in the US, victims of 'forgotten baby syndrome'.

For a brief time, I was touched by an angel

For a brief time, I was touched by an angel. You stole my heart, and changed me into the women I am today.

Chinese woman gives birth to quintuplets

After six years of trying for a baby, a couple’s dreams have come true many times over after the mum gave birth to quintuplets this week.

Chrissie Swan has reached her "sex quota"

Chrissie Swan says she and her partner have sex once a year due to her fear of falling pregnant.

Stars help save choking babies

It's an important lesson to learn, but one that busy new mums and dads might overlook until it's too late.

New Girl star Zooey Deschanel pregnant

Actress Zooey Deschanel is expecting her first child with her producer boyfriend Jacob Pechenik.

16 times 'dad reflexes' saved the day

Of course, in some cases they may be the ones who actually got their child into a precarious position in the first place, but we'll ignore that for now.

Couple's 'non-traditional' pregnancy announcement goes viral

Knowing you are not the father of your pregnant wife's baby would usually indicate a rocky relationship ahead for traditional parents.

The trials and tribulations of identical triplet newborns

Pip Donnelly is still playing spot the difference with her newborn identical triplets, Isabelle, Georgina and Frankie.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Earthquake baby thriving five years on

Jenny Alexis is lucky to be alive after spending four days buried in the rubble of the 2010 Haitian earthquake, but now she's a thriving five year old.

Please don't say I'm lucky because I was adopted

On the one hand I was having a regular life with friends and sports and sleepovers and school. But I was also always wondering: Did my mother love me? What was wrong with me?

An open letter to non-parents who offer advice on child-rearing

Kitty, when you’re the parent of my child you’re welcome to wade in with an opinion – but until then, I’d prefer you to have a supportive ear and a glass of wine ready.

Couple arrested over baby gun video

A US couple faces charges after investigators say they found mobile phone videos showing the woman's 12-month-old daughter putting a handgun in her mouth.

NSW Health dumps 10-year limit on frozen embryos

A 10-year time limit on storing frozen embryos that were created with donor sperm has been dropped by the NSW government.

How my happy-go-lucky husband became a monster

Sharan Nicholson-Rogers watched her husband change from a happy-go-lucky police officer into an unpredictable man prone to violent and emotional outbursts.

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes, too

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes in line with their pregnant partners, a new study shows.

'They were just doing their job': mum of toddler killed in police chase gone wrong

"They were just doing their job. I feel so sorry for them. It is all just too sad."

Miscarriages to be formally recognised by NSW government

Women who miscarry will be able to obtain an optional "recognition of loss" certificate as a formal recognition of their often heartbreaking loss.

Cafe cubby house 'too noisy' for neighbours

Teenage parties, domestic disputes, or raucous late night pubs are the things that usually come to mind when you think neighbourhood noise complaints.

Dad films baby playing with snake

Most parents would not consider a snake an appropriate playmate for their baby, but a US dad who filmed his daughter playing with a python has defended himself against criticism.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Back to School Offer

Findababysitter.com.au

We've got you covered for this school year. Use www.findababysitter.com.au to meet local nannies now.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.