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Melbourne sleep schools
Not comfortable with cont crying


12 replies to this topic

#1 MrsMammaB

Posted 13 January 2013 - 05:24 PM

I've started thinking it might be an idea to put out name down with a sleep school. I've heard mostly great things from friends and various google searches but the only thing is that I'm not comfortable with controlled crying. DD is only 20 weeks.
I've heard some will tailor the routine to suit your needs and wondering if anyone has recommendations for any that take this into consideration?
Thanks in advance.

#2 Soontobegran

Posted 13 January 2013 - 05:32 PM

There are a couple of sleep schools which do not utilise controlled crying. Both these have been accessed by two of my DD's and they are anti CC or CIO.
They are Northpark and Tweddle, my DD's found them both very supportive of their needs.

#3 AntiBourgeoisie

Posted 13 January 2013 - 08:51 PM

As STBG said.

Do bear in mind, though, that there is almost no way to help a baby learn to self-settle that involves no cryin whatsoever.

#4 ubermum

Posted 13 January 2013 - 08:57 PM

Hmmm, what is the definition of controlled crying? Is it just leaving the baby to wail uncomforted for 2, 4, 6 minutes type of thing?
I went to one of those sleep schools STBG mentioned and they taught controlled conforting. Arms through the bars of the cot, pat and shush until baby quiet, leave the room. Return and repeat if baby cries until baby is asleep or not crying.

#5 KaffyViffy

Posted 13 January 2013 - 09:02 PM

QUOTE (ubermum @ 13/01/2013, 09:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hmmm, what is the definition of controlled crying? Is it just leaving the baby to wail uncomforted for 2, 4, 6 minutes type of thing?
I went to one of those sleep schools STBG mentioned and they taught controlled conforting. Arms through the bars of the cot, pat and shush until baby quiet, leave the room. Return and repeat if baby cries until baby is asleep or not crying.


I went to Tweddle as well and this is how they did it.  I found the staff wonderful but you had to be willing to listen and take advice.  They were certainly willing to talk and come to a conclusion that suoited me.

The family opposite me were there for their 3yo and their 4mo.  The father was in charge of the 3yo and I could always hear what the nurse was saying (we were 6 feet apart) and he would agree it was the way to go and then he NEVER did it as she said.  By the last night their DD was doing the same as night one.

#6 twinboys

Posted 13 January 2013 - 09:02 PM

Have a look on the QEC website here

They have some fact sheets and podcasts that you can look at and see if there are some tips that you can start using at home.

Also if you are a resident of the city of Casey - there is a sleep nurse that can come and home visit you and help as well.
You need to see your MCHN to get the details of this service or ring the council to go through the right channels

#7 AntiBourgeoisie

Posted 13 January 2013 - 09:03 PM

Cry it out = Weisblauth method = put baby to bed, leave, close the door, don't go back until morning. Ugh. No one does this anymore.

Controlled crying = Ferber type methods = allow baby to cry alone with varying timing of checks (some as close as 2 minutely, some as long as 10 minutely, some increasing in time with each check)

Controlled comforting = usually hands on for most of it - pat/shush/other until baby sleep.

Most sleep schools/nannies use controlled comforting type methods. But some babies do get angrier if the parent is in the room, for these babies controlled crying with frequent reassurance may work better.

#8 *mylittleprince*

Posted 13 January 2013 - 09:13 PM

Not my state but I went to sleep school with 18 week old DS when we lived in Sydney.

Most sleep schools use hands on settling or responsive settling or a combination of both. I don't believe that you can teach a baby to self-settle without some type of crying and that I would rather have a bit of crying and a baby who sleeps well and is happy than one who never sleeps and is grumpy all day and night.

Hands on settling is where you ssh and pat by sticking your arms/hands over or through the bars until they are calm and almost asleep and then leave (returning if necessary). Responsive settling is where you put baby down awake but drowsy then give them a chance to self-settle (no set time but around 5 - 10 minutes?) then respond according to the cries.

Here is some sleep school info that might help you:

http://www.tresillian.net/tresillian-tips/...-12-months.html

http://www.tresillian.net/tresillian-tips/...0-6-months.html

#9 sne

Posted 13 January 2013 - 09:16 PM

I was at a O'Connell sleep school in Melbourne in July last year for my two youngest.  The first night they had me doing the controlled comforting which was a nightmare.  The kids tag teamed me up most of the night.  We (staff and I) decided that wasn't the right approach for my two.  My (or the staffs) presence in the room was just giving them a reason to be awake.  So we moved onto a variation of the controlled crying system.  But instead of giving it a time it was 3 proper cries (not grizzling).  That worked really well for my two toddlers.

I found O'Connell great as they weren't stuck on one way that was a one size fits all type of fix but were willing to try something else when what we were trying wasn't working.  I also came away with lots of information on child development, discipline etc.

I hope you can find something that works for you.  Trying to manage on not much sleep is the pits.

#10 Silver Girl

Posted 13 January 2013 - 09:17 PM

QUOTE (ubermum @ 13/01/2013, 09:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I went to one of those sleep schools STBG mentioned and they taught controlled conforting. Arms through the bars of the cot, pat and shush until baby quiet, leave the room. Return and repeat if baby cries until baby is asleep or not crying.


O'Connell Family Centre takes this approach too. We found the nurses very caring. There is a several week wait to get in in most cases but it is paid for by Medicare. I hope you get some good help wherever you go.

#11 mandala

Posted 14 January 2013 - 06:21 PM

I went to a private sleep school in Melbourne, and they used responsive settling. However, they were also responsive to parents and came up with approaches that suited each parent's comfort level. The settling was also tailored to the age and personality of the baby.

There was crying, but no baby was just abandoned.

It's worth calling the different sleep schools to discuss their approach. If they aren't going to be a good match for you, it's better to find out before you go.

#12 Feral_Pooks

Posted 14 January 2013 - 07:05 PM

Give Tweddle a call, they are fantastic and very much want to support your confidence and will tailor approaches accordingly, and according to your goals. Babies cry when you change things on them, but you do comfort them, but you do it in a way that works best for them to get sleep.

#13 MrsMammaB

Posted 18 January 2013 - 02:12 PM

Thanks so much for the replies everyone.  Im still in 2 minds if we go or not. She was sleeping through bar one night feed a couple of weeks ago and from what I read is going through 4 month old sleep regression.
I might ride it out a little longer and see how we go.

Thanks again original.gif



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