Jump to content

Toilet Training Woes - Me Vs DH


  • Please log in to reply
10 replies to this topic

#1 Gone-Country

Posted 13 January 2013 - 08:06 AM

I'm turning to EB for help.

DS will be 3 on Friday. He is my 3rd child and is such a different child than my girls were at his age. He is so head strong and stubborn (like his father mother!).

My MIL and DH are adamant that he is ready to toilet train. I've had a lot of people asking me if he is TT given his age. I offer the potty and the toilet. Sometimes he will sit, most of the time he yells that he doesn't want to. We have recently done a few days of him in undies but he just wets them.  He doesn't really care.

I don't know if I should keep pushing it, he is getting angry and upset at being asked all the time 'do you need to go to the toilet' and ends up either in tears of screaming at us, which in turn is making the whole toilet training thing an unpleasurable thing for us all.

So, mothers of boys, do I keep pushing? Or do I wait another month and try again?

He CAN go on the potty or toilet, he has done, but he never asks to.

Any help and tips MUCH appreciated.

Thanks.

#2 ~ppp~

Posted 13 January 2013 - 08:17 AM

-

Edited by knowsnotmuch, 01 March 2013 - 04:22 PM.


#3 *mylittleprince*

Posted 13 January 2013 - 08:17 AM

At 3 I would definately start training but you need to be consistent. Can't sometimes offer it and othertimes not. Decide when you are both ready and do it. Take away all nappies (maybe keep the night one) and talk about being a big boy, wearing big boy undies like daddy, etc. Good luck!

#4 melaine

Posted 13 January 2013 - 08:21 AM

I had a very stubborn boy who I knew COULD wee and poo on the toilet (had done so) but just refused to even sit down on the toilet or potty.

Finding his currency worked for him. Once  I managed to get him to sit he got a reward for sitting, we quickly moved to reward for doing a wee, then because he wouldn't ask to go I switched the rewards to only if he asked to go and did a wee.

Anyway, he was the same age as your boy and being persistent paid off. He got it quite quickly once we got past the stubbornness!

#5 Frau Farbissina

Posted 13 January 2013 - 08:23 AM

DS2 has just turned 3. He's still in nappies. I offer the potty and the toilet. Sometimes he willingly sits but nothing happens. I am about to try undies and see how he goes. I guess you keep trying for as long as you feel like you have some sort of willingness from the child. If it starts causing upsets and so on, I'd drop it for a few weeks and try again later.

With DS 1, he was still 2 when we started toilet training. I got DH to show him how to wee on a tree and boy that was exciting! He was a bit more interested in the whole thing than DS2 is. He also prefered to stand (on a step) and wee than sit. A sticker chart helped (must get on to that for DS2) Once he'd filled up a row (I think it was 8 or 10 stickers) he'd get a little surprise. Once the whole sheet filled up he got something bigger (I think at the time it was a ride with me on the bus). From memory, it didn't seem to take too long (Like a month or 2 , not a week). Now getting number 2's on the toilet took a lot longer, and a large bribe (Big garbage truck) was the carrot we dangled to entice him to do it. It took a long time though. I think by the time he was about 3 and a half he finally got it.


As you probably already know having TT'd your other kids, lots of praise, never get angry about accidents and back off  for a few weeks when it all gets too much. I have heard that boys take longer than girls to TT but I don't know if this is really the case or not.
Good luck!

#6 Soontobegran

Posted 13 January 2013 - 08:33 AM

I think your parents and DH need to respect the fact that your son is not the same as your DD's. He will train when he is ready and not just because they think he should be.
If he knows where the potty is and what it is for then he will get it in his time. I think you risk causing more issues by constantly asking and nagging him if he wants the potty. If he is getting upset then I think you need to back off and try again later.
He is still young in terms of TTing.
Good luck

#7 mumandboys

Posted 13 January 2013 - 09:28 AM

I agree with STBG, although I do understand that there seems to be a stigma attached to having a 3 year old who is still in nappies.

My third by TT'd in a couple of weeks, when he was 3yrs 8months.  Prior to that, he just didn't want to (and has a stubborn streak so any pushing just resulted in anger/frustration).

Before we went to undies, I would just sit him on the toilet every day before bath, and then I would ask him when changing the first nappy of the day, if he'd like to go and do a wee on the toilet.  He always said "no" to that, and I always said "ok".  We did that every single day for about 6 months, and then finally one day, he said yes.  And I took that as a green light - it was only a couple of weeks from there and he was fully TT.

It's different for every child, and I think the best thing you can do is let them lead.  Remind yourself that it's quite a challenge, for them to switch from going whenever and wherever they want, to having to get to the toilet and get their clothes off before anything starts.  

My DS4 is 2.5, and not really interested in TT yet, although I know he has the knowledge.  He'll do wee and sometimes poo before bath every day, but that's about it.  Every now and then we put him in undies of a morning, he always wets them but doesn't get upset.  I just give him a nappy and then we try again a week later.

I suspect his daycare will put pressure on me this year to train him, but I'm going to wait for his cues, and everyone who doesn't like it can just deal with it original.gif

Good luck OP!

#8 namie

Posted 13 January 2013 - 11:37 AM

We're in the process of toilet training DS1 now and it's going well I think. He's 3.3yrs and was ready for big boy undies. It has helped that since the holidays a lot of his friends at daycare are now wearing 'big boy undies' rather than nappy pants and they go together.

He's been wearing undies every day now for about 2.5 weeks and generally remembers to go on his own. The first few days there were a few puddles but he'd often run to the loo after discovering one and found he still had more to do. Now there are no puddles, thank goodness!

He's having issues with poos and gets quite upset when he goes in his undies as he wees at the same time, but he just can't fathom sitting on the toilet yet. I think I may need to start the reward system - just need to work out his 'currency'!

I found that putting the responsibility on him worked better than me reminding him. So, instead of asking 'Do you need to go?' which got him all defensive, I'd just say a light-hearted 'Don't forget to do a wee when you need to'. It also helped to remind him that sometimes his penis could be full of wee (something he said the first time he recognised he needed to go, lol!) and that he needed to empty the wee every so often.

#9 Chelara

Posted 13 January 2013 - 11:45 AM

We had a stubborn girl who could but just didnt want to toilet train. What helped for us was #1 just not buying any more nappies (we did a pull up at night)  we told her we weren't buying any more.

#2 going out in those first few days, ie restaurants and shopping. She liked to use shopping centre toilets (especially the kids ones) and did not like to wet her pants in public.

#3 talking about her friends who were toilet trained. She asked them herself about going to the toilet and that seemed to be the last push she needed,

Good luck, we tried and failed a lot of times (probably due to inconsistency) and once we'd all decided there'd be no more nappies it clicked.

#10 *lightning

Posted 13 January 2013 - 12:01 PM

If he's getting angry and crying, give it a break. He's only 3 and just because your DH thinks he should be TT doesn't mean he's ready.

My DS1 wasn't TT until 4 but my DD was 3 and she trained quickly.

It's not a compitition and your child shouldn't be pressured into TT. I found that one m&m after DS1 went to the toilet encouraged him and quickly changed this to thumbs up.

#11 Gone-Country

Posted 13 January 2013 - 06:21 PM

Thank you so much everyone. It's hard given I've done this twice before, but both girls trained quite easily. It's just my delightfully headstrong son that is digging in his heels.

I've taken a lot away from all your replies and am grateful for everyone that replied.  We will persevere with the suggesting and asking, but not pushing and certainly not forcing. I would like to wave goodbye to nappies by winter. We will see.

Thank you again!  It's ever so much appreciated.

Lisa




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

10 things they don?t tell you about being pregnant

As I slowly waddle my ever-changing pregnant body towards the finishing line of my due date, it?s becoming increasingly clear there are a lot of things they just don?t tell you about pregnancy.

Overcoming a fear of the dark

A toddler's fear of the dark is very normal, but there are ways parents can help children through this stage in their development.

Kids, TV and movies: how young is too young?

It seems you don't have to throw the TV and iPad out the window - it all boils down to moderation, supervision and interaction.

Video: Baby's first birthday is a special day for mum, too

?A baby?s first birthday is also mum?s first birthday.?

The day Supernanny came to tea

Prince William's favourite celebrity child trainer Jo Frost puts Bryony Gordon and her toddler through their paces.

Tales from the homefront

When you're at work you sort of assume that your house is basically just sitting there quietly doing nothing until you return. However, since spending my days at home, I've learned this couldn't be further from the truth.

The words I hated hearing as new mum

It was less than a week after my son was born that I first heard it - from my mother.

To the pharmacist who sold me baby formula

On the rare occasion I catch sight of you at school, or around town, I think back to our earliest exchange. I?m sure you have no recollection of it at all.

Babies may benefit from autism therapy

Children showing signs of autism don't usually receive early intervention until well into toddlerhood or later, but a new study suggests infants with symptoms of the developmental disorder might benefit from therapy from as early as six months.

Knatalye and Adeline born with an everlasting bond

Knatalye Hope and Adeline Faith are a lot like any other identical twin girls, but there is one dramatic difference: they're joined at the chest and shares several internal organs.

The question this dad wishes he'd asked his wife

I should have seen that my wife wasn't the same person I'd fallen in love with, but we were both too focused on simply trying to get by.

Why we should talk about the deaths of the Hunt children

The deaths are too horrible even to think about. Yet we owe it to the children - Fletcher, Mia and Phoebe Hunt - to think long and hard about it all.

Baby dies of meningococcal weeks after vaccine application denied

A six-month-old girl has died from meningococcal disease just weeks after an application for government funding of a vaccine for the most deadly strain of the virus was rejected.

Finding the right balance when playing with your kids

Being too involved in our children?s play and not allowing our kids enough free time for unstructured activities can mean our kids miss out on the value that play offers.

Creative DIY light shades

The Pop Light light shade comes in a flat pack already made - it's up to you to design it as you'd like.

The battle of iParenting versus imagination

Have we forgotten how to be imaginative, resourceful parents?

Why movement is so important for your baby's growth

Letting your child move as much as possible in the early years ? using all senses, engaging in the real world, preferably outside ? will help them grow up healthier, smarter, calmer and stronger.

Video: Toddler not keen on clean-shaven dad

This little girl thought she was taking part in a standard game of peek-a-boo, but her dad had a surprise for her.

When will I feel like myself again?

At some point I became 'me' again, but not the same me that I was ... and that?s not a bad thing.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

Win a House of Magic prize pack

To celebrate the release of the new movie House of Magic, we have 10 double passes and magic sets to give away just in time for these school holidays. Enter Now for a chance to win!

Losing yourself to motherhood

While watching your baby grow into a unique little person is exciting and wondrous, the intensity of meeting everyone else?s needs can ever so sneakily overtake your own needs for self-care.

Tearing during delivery: the facts

Almost all women will experience bruising, grazing or tearing after a vaginal birth. Depending on the degree of tearing, there are various treatments available.

6 tips for a day out with a baby and toddler

Outings can be lots of fun with the kids, but there are inevitable challenges. Here's some information about days out to help you be a little more prepared.

Why I invited a dozen people to watch my son's birth

I sent invitations on burgundy scrapbooking paper stamped with a field of poppies, and told each person why I wanted him or her there. I warned that there would be nudity.

Getting labour started: tips for a natural induction

When your baby?s due date comes and goes without so much as a pop - let alone a bang - it can be disheartening. Mums and a doula share their stories of natural inductions.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

That's my boy: a dad's diary of the first 4 months

Unbearable anxiety, unspeakable joy, constant exhaustion and bouts of frustration ... The many shocks of first-time fatherhood resound in a dad's diary of his son's early months.

One of the most important things a new mum can do

Finances may not be as cute as a newborn, but with many women?s working arrangements changing post-baby, monetary matters need attention too.

Couple's bucket list for unborn baby

Jenna and Dan Haley know their baby's time will be limited, so they're packing in a lifetime of memories before he's even born.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Reader offer

2 FOR 1 TICKET OFFER

For Shopping, For Advice, For Baby & You. Enjoy a special day out with fabulous shopping from over 200 brands, leading parenting experts offering advice on a range of topics, and amazing children?s entertainment

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.