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Is shushing & rubbing your baby's back a prop?


5 replies to this topic

#1 frankiesmumma

Posted 12 January 2013 - 08:45 PM

I have a 5.5 month baby and I have been feeding her to sleep, which I really don't have a problem with but it doesn't seem to be working as well lately.  She is hard to get down for naps & and is waking regularly at night (sometimes to be fed but also sometimes for comfort).

I have started trying to settle her by shushing & rubbing her back which has been reasonably successful. I was just wondering, if this is simply another prop?  I am very anti CIO and just couldn't bare to leave her in a room to cry....just wondering what people think.

Thanks!

#2 soapy

Posted 12 January 2013 - 08:52 PM

After having a very difficult baby for number one and trying to do the right thing when number two came along I did what I wanted to do. Just go with the flow. Life was so much easier the second time around due to an easier baby but also not trying to do everything the 'right way'. Good luck. original.gif

#3 AntiBourgeoisie

Posted 12 January 2013 - 08:55 PM

QUOTE (frankiesmumma @ 12/01/2013, 09:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I have a 5.5 month baby and I have been feeding her to sleep, which I really don't have a problem with but it doesn't seem to be working as well lately.  She is hard to get down for naps & and is waking regularly at night (sometimes to be fed but also sometimes for comfort).

I have started trying to settle her by shushing & rubbing her back which has been reasonably successful. I was just wondering, if this is simply another prop?  I am very anti CIO and just couldn't bare to leave her in a room to cry....just wondering what people think.

Thanks!


It might be a prop. With these things, you have no idea until your baby indicates to you whether they expect it all night or not! Quite often, babies have different 'going to sleep' expectations compared with 'resettling' expectations.

I certainly don't think you can break a feed to sleep expectation by one day simply deciding bub will no longer be fed, popping them in their cot and walking out. That's unfair to your baby (it would be unfair if they were adults!). Babies need intermediate stages, and if shushing and rubbing is working, then go with it! I wouldn't avoid something because something else *might* happen.

You can also slowly withdraw your support over time. Shush more quietly, rub more gently until its just a hand on the back. Then withdraw yourself from the room. You may choose to start this process in a week, you may choose to start it if your current routine causes problems down the track.

There's not set rules. If its not broken then don't try to fix it. If its no longer working, then try something else. Just as you have done.

In summary - no you are doing nothing 'wrong', and in fact, I think you are doing the most logical and natural thing.

#4 Green Door

Posted 12 January 2013 - 09:05 PM

God I hope not. I did it with all 3 of mine.
Baby one slept all night from 8 week
Baby 2 from about 12 mths.
Baby 3 he is 15 mths and slept from 7 till 7, 5 out of 7 nights.
But um a what ever works for you kind of person, I hated co sleeping till number 3 now I will do anything for a nights sleep

God I hope not. I did it with all 3 of mine.
Baby one slept all night from 8 week
Baby 2 from about 12 mths.
Baby 3 he is 15 mths and slept from 7 till 7, 5 out of 7 nights.
But um a what ever works for you kind of person, I hated co sleeping till number 3 now I will do anything for a nights sleep

#5 Guest_divineM_*

Posted 12 January 2013 - 09:15 PM

It did become a prop for my DD and she started waking frequently from around 5 months of age. It may or may not happen with your LO. We had to teach DD to self settle and resettle so everyone could get some sleep. Did that at around 8 months.

#6 niggles

Posted 12 January 2013 - 09:16 PM

It really is as simple as doing what is working for you, baby and family. Call it a tool if you prefer. And if it's a tool that's working then it.'s a good tool.

From birth my baby liked to be lightly swaddled and left in the cot alone to go to sleep. Then he wouldn't go to sleep unless he was unswaddled and cuddled and rocked. Now he refuses to be rocked and so he's relearning to sleep in the cot with me sometimes rubbing his back and sometimes just sitting nearby reading and 'ignoring' him.

With both my children I've found it best to follow their lead and to be flexible and ready to change a routine that's no longer working.



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