Jump to content

Playgroup with non-vaccinated children. Advice please?!


  • Please log in to reply
67 replies to this topic

#1 FurryTongue

Posted 12 January 2013 - 03:30 PM

Not quite sure were to post this and hope it won't offend anyone.
There is a group of women where I live who practice a style of parenting similiar to mine and I have joined their facebook page. They have a weekly playgroup and often catch up at other times of the week. I am yet to go to any of their playgroups/dates.
The other day I noticed on their facebook page several of the mothers commenting their children weren't vaccinated. My children are vaccinated and they are 18 mths and 3.5 yrs old. I am pretty uneducated in this department and wondered if I would be putting my kids at risk by regularly having my children interact with non-vaccinated children?
I am not looking for a debate about vaccination or to offend anyone.  I just would like to be better educated about the risk of regular interaction with non-vaccinated children, given the ages of my children.

#2 SeaPrincess

Posted 12 January 2013 - 03:39 PM

Your children will come into contact with unvaccinated children. They may even contract a disease for which they have been vaccinated (one of my vaccinated children got chicken pox in kindy, the other vaccinated child didn't catch it, the unvaccinated baby did).

Unvaccinated children wouldn't put me off, but with my feelings on vaccination, the mothers probably wouldn't want me there for long - I have a tendency to shut down vaccination conversations when I mention that my brother died from what is now a vaccine-preventable disease.

#3 ubermum

Posted 12 January 2013 - 03:49 PM

Given your children's ages, and my assumption that they have been vaccinated according to the schedule, they should be pretty safe. If they do come into contact with a vaccine preventable illness, so long as they have seroconverted in response to their vaccinations (developed antibodies), at worst they may get a mild version of the illness. Some people do not seroconvert to some immunisations and are always at risk of contracting them. Only a blood test can tell this. However, your children will encounter people who have not been immunised, or whose immunity has waned in everyday life anyway.

My problem would be associating with whack job parents who have "done their research" and are not immunising because of whatever conspiracy theory they believe.

#4 ekbaby

Posted 12 January 2013 - 04:04 PM

If your children have been vaccinated then their risk of contracting those diseases is low (not 0%, but most vaccines are at least 80% effective)

IME most parents who choose not to vaccinate are pretty cautious about spreading transmissible diseases, more so than a lot of vaxxing parents I know - eg excluding themselves from things when their kid has a cough, observing quarantine periods for things like Whooping Cough. Whereas many ppl assume "oh my kids been vaccinated, they couldn't possibly have WC" and then  pass it on (most cases are passed on by vaxxed kids)

This is not to start a debate about effectiveness of vaxxing (personally I do vax). IMO it is good for all playgroups /parents groups to have a bit of a discussion about "ground rules" for illness and attendance - ie how long to stay away after gastro

In my limited experience, my non-vaxxing friends have been much more cautious in that respect

#5 FurryTongue

Posted 12 January 2013 - 04:04 PM

To be honest I am also concerned about having a difference of a opinion. The reason I am uneducated about the riskswith interacting regularly with the same group of unvaccinated kids  is because for me it was a no brainer to have my children vaccinated. I would never take that risk.
In many ways I am alternative with my parenting style and I do believe each to their own and do what works for you....but I don't agree with non-vaccination. I have no problem discussing it but as there was several (about five) mothers who chose not to vaccinate their kids I would be very uncomfortable to argue/defend why I vaccinated my children.
I would like to have friends who share my parenting style but the non-vaccination has made me stop and be a little cautious.

#6 Soontobegran

Posted 12 January 2013 - 04:13 PM

Your vaccinated children would be at little risk however I would be going nowhere near there with a new born or if I had a child or close family member who had compromised immunity, just like PP I think I would have trouble relating with the anti vaxxing mums and they with me. I am pretty opinionated when it comes to vaccinations just as most anti vaxxers are too, I see it as a recipe for disaster even though I know it is just one facet of these people's parenting choices.
I wouldn't dislike the people, but I dislike the choices and the frustration I felt would probably be obvious which is unfair to the dynamics of the group.

#7 naturalgoodness

Posted 12 January 2013 - 04:22 PM

In the playgroups and similar that I have been to, vaccination is not a topic regularly discussed so I would not have known who was and who wasn't vaccinated. There was never a conversation where anyone had to defend their position.

To be honest, I have had bigger issues than vaccination with some parenting choices made by other parents and it doesn't/hasn't stopped me attending these types of things.

I would suggest you go and see how you feel about it. I have felt the same way (being the non-vaccinator) when potentially entering a situation full of vaccinators and have not had an issue original.gif

#8 purplekitty

Posted 12 January 2013 - 04:44 PM

I agree with what STBG has said about the particular circumstances where I would be concerned.
QUOTE (naturalgoodness @ 12/01/2013, 04:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
In the playgroups and similar that I have been to, vaccination is not a topic regularly discussed so I would not have known who was and who wasn't vaccinated. There was never a conversation where anyone had to defend their position.
My Bold
Have you told them you don't vaccinate particularly if there are newborns , pregnant women or other health conditions?
I would think that might generate at least some discussion about ground rules and expectations in the group,vaccinated or not.

#9 Mumma Mash

Posted 12 January 2013 - 04:47 PM

I don't get it. Kids who are vaccinated are the ones carrying the disease... Not the other way around.
I think you need to get educated in both vaccinated and non vaccinated to settle you're nerves.

#10 purplekitty

Posted 12 January 2013 - 04:48 PM

QUOTE (Mumma Mash @ 12/01/2013, 04:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I don't get it. Kids who are vaccinated are the ones carrying the disease... Not the other way around.
I think you need to get educated in both vaccinated and non vaccinated to settle you're nerves.
Please explain what you mean.


#11 Expelliarmus

Posted 12 January 2013 - 04:50 PM

QUOTE (Mumma Mash @ 12/01/2013, 04:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I don't get it. Kids who are vaccinated are the ones carrying the disease... Not the other way around.
I think you need to get educated in both vaccinated and non vaccinated to settle you're nerves.

Huh?

Since when are vaccinated kids carrying a disease?

#12 Domestic Goddess

Posted 12 January 2013 - 04:51 PM

Your children will be reasonably safe. You could tell the mums that you respect their opinion about non vaxxing, but if they could give you a heads up if their child is coming down with something.
I would assume that most parents would have this common sense anyway. If DS is sick, I keep him away from other kids. Vaccinated or not.

Like PP, I go to several different playgroups and vaccination has never been a point of discussion. If they do bring it up, than again, just tell them that you respect their decision and hope they respect yours and that you do not want to enter a debate/discussion about such a socially "sensitive" issue.

#13 Domestic Goddess

Posted 12 January 2013 - 04:57 PM

QUOTE (Mumma Mash @ 12/01/2013, 05:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I don't get it. Kids who are vaccinated are the ones carrying the disease... Not the other way around.
I think you need to get educated in both vaccinated and non vaccinated to settle you're nerves.


On the contrary, maybe you yourself could read up on some more vaccination literature? Preferably without using Google.

They do not carry the disease. They get injected with a very weakened version of the viruses. Your immune system recognizes the intruders and starts developing antibodies against it and kills it.
As you now are the proud owner of these new antibodies, you are 95%-98%  protected if the intruders knocks on your door again in the future.

P.S. This is a very very simple explanation of how vaccines work. It is ofcourse "slightly" more complicated, but I hope this way you can grasp the information better and start realizing that vaccinated children do not carry the disease original.gif

Edited by Domestic Goddess, 12 January 2013 - 05:07 PM.


#14 FurryTongue

Posted 12 January 2013 - 06:01 PM

QUOTE (naturalgoodness @ 12/01/2013, 05:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
In the playgroups and similar that I have been to, vaccination is not a topic regularly discussed so I would not have known who was and who wasn't vaccinated. There was never a conversation where anyone had to defend their position.
I am in a playgroup and have been for several years. This was one of the first BIG conversations we had as mothers so I guess everyone knew who was/not vaccinated (all the kids are).

To be honest, I have had bigger issues than vaccination with some parenting choices made by other parents and it doesn't/hasn't stopped me attending these types of things.
Good point.

I would suggest you go and see how you feel about it. I have felt the same way (being the non-vaccinator) when potentially entering a situation full of vaccinators and have not had an issue original.gif

Again good point and valuable advice.


QUOTE (Mumma Mash @ 12/01/2013, 05:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I don't get it. Kids who are vaccinated are the ones carrying the disease... Not the other way around.
I think you need to get educated in both vaccinated and non vaccinated to settle you're nerves.

Perhaps you could educate me and settle my nerves? ohmy.gif

Thankyou Domestic Goddess for you advice. I really appreciate it and value your feedback.

#15 Cranky Kitten

Posted 12 January 2013 - 06:17 PM

I go to a similar playgroup, as well as being quite active in babywearing groups that have a fair number of non-vaxxing parents. We agree to disagree, and make a point not to preach at each other over it. I am careful about making sure DS and I stay away if we're sick, as are the vast majority of mums who attend.

It's never really been an issue for us - their kids don't carry the disease just because they haven't been vaxxed. Neither does mine because he has.

#16 Eirinn

Posted 12 January 2013 - 06:39 PM

If your kids are vaccinated, I don't really see the issue. There are plenty of adults walking around whose immunity has waned over the years too, who probably pose more of a 'danger'.

I associate with a lot of 'attachment' type parents, with whom I am likeminded to varying degrees on such topics as homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, baby led weaning, etc. We all have different levels of engagement in these practises. I myself do not use cloth nappies, and my kids are fully vaccinated. No one holds this against me, nor do I judge the women in the group who do things differently from myself. I think if you join this playgroup with the right attitude, you will be fine.

It IS possible to have different opinions on a topic without conflict. One of my closest friends has chosen not to vaccinate her daughter, as she had a bad reaction to the Hep B at birth. I understand why she feels that way, and though it is not the decision I would make, I believe she is doing what she feels is best for her child and do not take it as a personal affront.

#17 Corella

Posted 12 January 2013 - 06:42 PM

Yes same here - I live in a fairly alternative region and hang with crunchy types wink.gif and it is very clearly discussed that anyone who's sick needs to keep it to themselves. The expectation is that, vaccinated or not, it's not up to those who are healthy to pick and choose what they pick up.

#18 His Boy Elroy

Posted 12 January 2013 - 06:50 PM

QUOTE
My problem would be associating with whack job parents who have "done their research" and are not immunising because of whatever conspiracy theory they believe.


+1


#19 Alina0210

Posted 12 January 2013 - 06:54 PM

About 40% of little kids I know aren't vaccinate or delayed vaccinated, wouldn't bother me at all.... No issue at all

Usually the parents are on the ball and won't bring kids if they are sick etc

#20 password123

Posted 12 January 2013 - 07:02 PM

QUOTE (Mumma Mash @ 12/01/2013, 05:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I don't get it. Kids who are vaccinated are the ones carrying the disease... Not the other way around.
I think you need to get educated in both vaccinated and non vaccinated to settle you're nerves.

Holy cow. Did I just read that? I think I just lost a few brain cells.

#21 Soontobegran

Posted 12 January 2013 - 07:04 PM

QUOTE (purplekitty @ 12/01/2013, 05:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I agree with what STBG has said about the particular circumstances where I would be concerned.My Bold
Have you told them you don't vaccinate particularly if there are newborns , pregnant women or other health conditions?
I would think that might generate at least some discussion about ground rules and expectations in the group,vaccinated or not.

I'd be furious if I took my newborn to a playgroup and was not told that some of the children were not vaccinated!


QUOTE (Mumma Mash @ 12/01/2013, 05:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I don't get it. Kids who are vaccinated are the ones carrying the disease... Not the other way around.
I think you need to get educated in both vaccinated and non vaccinated to settle you're nerves.

Hmmm? unsure.gif


QUOTE (Alina0210 @ 12/01/2013, 07:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
About 40% of little kids I know aren't vaccinate or delayed vaccinated, wouldn't bother me at all.... No issue at all

Usually the parents are on the ball and won't bring kids if they are sick etc


I think in your role as a Doula Alina that it would be fairly important to know that you are not at risk of passing on anything to your clients so I actually think it is quite important to know the vacc status of people you may spend a lot of time with.
That being said I have no idea whether you are a vaccinator and are vaccinated yourself or not so it may be irrelevant. original.gif
I have to say that I don't have the faith that you have in the non vaccers keeping their children away because they are sick , I have experienced the opposite with some non vaxxers in my DD's husbands family and also the fact that many are infectious before they present with symptoms that would alert the parent to their being a problem is also a worry.

#22 caroldiem

Posted 12 January 2013 - 07:12 PM

If it was me i wouldn't attend especially if i had a newborn or was pregnant too risky, it just comes down what you are comfortable with i think there is a greater risk of catching a awful disease if you are around unvaccinated kids it's just a fact

I wouldn't go i also wouldn't relate to mums who don't vaccinate i would get into a major argument with them in the first 5 mins original.gif

#23 Jembo

Posted 12 January 2013 - 07:29 PM

I have never found it to be a topic that is discussed myself and wouldnt have a clue who at playgroup did and didn't and the same with school.

I have never thought to ask anyone I am meeting if their vacs up are up to date and never been asked myself (unless it is a medical professional or school etc you are enrolling in).

They both had delayed vaccinations and honestly no one would really have a clue.



#24 Beancat

Posted 12 January 2013 - 07:33 PM

Its all well and good for the parents of the non-vax kids to keep their kids at home when sick, but what about the instances when they are contagious BEFORE the symptoms are revealed?  This can be disasterous for pregnant women and newborns

Personally I would not join a group like this.  Mainly because I don't agree with them compromising herd immunity but they are happy to free ride from the herd immunity provided by the vaccinated population

#25 purplekitty

Posted 12 January 2013 - 07:38 PM

QUOTE (Jembo @ 12/01/2013, 07:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I have never found it to be a topic that is discussed myself and wouldnt have a clue who at playgroup did and didn't and the same with school.

I have never thought to ask anyone I am meeting if their vacs up are up to date and never been asked myself (unless it is a medical professional or school etc you are enrolling in).

They both had delayed vaccinations and honestly no one would really have a clue.
Yes, but do you think other parents have a right to know in situations such as playgroups where all the children get up close and personal?

As I said before, in certain situations I would want to know,particularly if there are any VPDs around.





0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Exclusive Black Friday Sale!

Get over 40% off selected products, including prams, baby carriers, cloth nappies, sleeping bags and much more! 24 hours only, on May 6 - register now for your special code.

Kelly Clarkson shares first photos of son

Kelly Clarkson has shown off the first photos of her son, Remington Alexander Blackstock.

5 childbirth myths that need to be busted

Birth is an unpredictable, mysterious process that intrigues us all, and there is a lot of misinformation out there.

Mum of three fatally shot by toddler while driving

A US mother has been shot by her toddler while driving on a highway in Wisconsin.

All you need is one minute to work out

The seven-minute-work out is old news. Research shows the effectiveness of going hell-for-leather for just one minute.

Pregnant women needed to join diabetes study

Pregnant woman in country Australia will help Adelaide researchers figure out why cases of type 1 diabetes have doubled over the past two decades.

Just announced: the Mountain Buggy Unirider

It's the perfect solution to combat those toddler meltdowns when they no longer want to be in a pram but can't walk long distances.

Authorities euthanise dog that fatally bit a newborn baby

A pit bull mix that fatally bit a 3-day-old infant last week has been euthanised, authorities said.

The push for Medicare to fund lactation consultants

While meeting with a lactation consultant can make an enormous difference to a new mother, it's not a service that is available through the public health system.

Why it's perfectly natural to dislike other people's children

Members of a popular forum are fiercely debating whether it is acceptable to dislike a friend's child.

Woman gives birth on plane, names baby after airline

A pregnant woman who unexpectedly gave birth on a flight has named her new baby after the airline, Jetstar.

Heartwarming photos show the joy of adoption after foster care

Children living in foster care can feel like their future is less than clear. But that uncertainty disappears the day they are adopted by their "forever family" 

'Oh my god, it's a baby!' Mum shocked to give birth

When the cramps started to kick in, Klara Dollan just assumed a painful period was starting.

Mum's Facebook plea: 'Help me find my daughter's father'

Kerryn has a unusual present planned for daughter Imi's 13th birthday celebrations - she hopes to be able to be able to give the soon-to-be the teenager her first ever photo of her dad.

Is it possible for your house to be too clean?

Our houses are cleaner than ever before. But how clean is too clean? Could a sterile home be putting your family's health at risk?

Millions of Monkeys: puzzles that grow with your toddler

Here's a puzzle that grows with them; the Puzzle Grow Pack by Millions of Monkeys.

Baby names from Britpop

If you grew up in the 90s you might want to look to the genre of Britpop music for baby name inspiration.

What to eat and drink when you have gastro

When you catch a bug that causes acute infectious gastroenteritis (gastro), your stomach and intestinal tract become inflamed, causing diarrhoea, nausea, vomiting, abdominal cramping and pain. The last thing you probably feel like doing is eating.

'To this day, I owe her my life'

Would I have survived if I hadn't crossed that street?

Why baby Sonny needs you to vaccinate your children

Caitlin is a firm believer in the importance of immunisation to protect children from harmful and deadly diseases.

Five-year-old's photo captures beauty of motherhood

There is no make-up or special outfits and hairdos, but the five-year-old boy who took this picture captured the essence of motherhood as well as any professional photographer.

Babies know whether you are naughty or nice

Studies have shown that infants in the first months of life try to avoid dealing with social wrongdoers - for example, sharing less with them and helping them less - and they expect others to, too.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The babies who are one in 70 million

Bethani Webb was excited to find out she was pregnant, but the first time mum did not realise she was carrying four babies not one.

Exclusive Black Friday Sale!

Get over 40% off selected products, including prams, baby carriers, cloth nappies, sleeping bags and much more! 24 hours only, on May 6 - register now for your special code.

Cafe offers breastfeeding mums a free cup of tea

A Sydney cafe is offering breastfeeding mums free cups of tea in a bid to show support for the right of women to nurse their babies wherever they choose.

To snip or not to snip? When the decision is not clear cut

Jamie Oliver, who considered a vasectomy, is to be a father again. A fellow dad reflects on his own decision 11 years ago

Doctors stunned by rare twins born almost six weeks apart

To everyone's surprise, Kristen Miller "kept doing better each day", keeping her second baby safe.

Baby book ideas for modern parents

Before my son was born I was given a lovely baby book full of blank pages waiting to be filled with weights and heights and first words.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

Mum tells how toddler 'nearly hung himself' in cot mishap

When Alison Johnson put her 18-month-old Caleb down for a nap, she had no reason to believe her son was in any danger.

Babies are still switched at birth? Yes, it can happen

All my panic and tears aside, my biggest question looking back is about the kind of security measures used in the maternity ward.

Doctors slammed for taking selfie with newborn

Everyone who visits a mum in hospital in the days following childbirth wants to get a photo with the new baby.

ergoPouch Twosie Sleepsuit for winter breastfeeding

Finally, there's a way to keep warm while breastfeeding through winter.

Health check: How long does sex 'normally' last?

What to do with this information? My advice would be to try not to think about it during the throes of passion.

When breastfeeding sucks: fixing common problems

From niplash to tight boobs, biting to milk supply issues, Pinky McKay looks at common breastfeeding issues and how to solve them.

10 things I've learnt in my first six months with twins

Six months on we're all still alive, and the more we get to know each other the easier the days become.

Mum's loving kiss leaves baby fighting for life

Kirsty Carrington thought nothing of giving her newborn son a kiss, little did she know it would leave the baby fighting for life.

When doing chores is your new 'me time'

After children, 'me time' looks a little different.

Get going: 14 travel strollers for families on the move

A stroller can make or break travelling with a baby or toddler. Here are 15 great single travel stroller options.

10 ways toddlers are terrific

It always pays to remind yourself of how terrific toddlers can be - they're little like this for such a short time

 

ENTER NOW

Do your kids love bananas?

This is the comp for you! We have $800 worth of Myer gift cards and boxes of Australian Bananas to be won. Entry is simple: just post a pic of your little one enjoying a banana in the comments of the FB post to enter.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.