Jump to content

Playgroup with non-vaccinated children. Advice please?!


  • Please log in to reply
67 replies to this topic

#1 FurryTongue

Posted 12 January 2013 - 03:30 PM

Not quite sure were to post this and hope it won't offend anyone.
There is a group of women where I live who practice a style of parenting similiar to mine and I have joined their facebook page. They have a weekly playgroup and often catch up at other times of the week. I am yet to go to any of their playgroups/dates.
The other day I noticed on their facebook page several of the mothers commenting their children weren't vaccinated. My children are vaccinated and they are 18 mths and 3.5 yrs old. I am pretty uneducated in this department and wondered if I would be putting my kids at risk by regularly having my children interact with non-vaccinated children?
I am not looking for a debate about vaccination or to offend anyone.  I just would like to be better educated about the risk of regular interaction with non-vaccinated children, given the ages of my children.

#2 SeaPrincess

Posted 12 January 2013 - 03:39 PM

Your children will come into contact with unvaccinated children. They may even contract a disease for which they have been vaccinated (one of my vaccinated children got chicken pox in kindy, the other vaccinated child didn't catch it, the unvaccinated baby did).

Unvaccinated children wouldn't put me off, but with my feelings on vaccination, the mothers probably wouldn't want me there for long - I have a tendency to shut down vaccination conversations when I mention that my brother died from what is now a vaccine-preventable disease.

#3 ubermum

Posted 12 January 2013 - 03:49 PM

Given your children's ages, and my assumption that they have been vaccinated according to the schedule, they should be pretty safe. If they do come into contact with a vaccine preventable illness, so long as they have seroconverted in response to their vaccinations (developed antibodies), at worst they may get a mild version of the illness. Some people do not seroconvert to some immunisations and are always at risk of contracting them. Only a blood test can tell this. However, your children will encounter people who have not been immunised, or whose immunity has waned in everyday life anyway.

My problem would be associating with whack job parents who have "done their research" and are not immunising because of whatever conspiracy theory they believe.

#4 ekbaby

Posted 12 January 2013 - 04:04 PM

If your children have been vaccinated then their risk of contracting those diseases is low (not 0%, but most vaccines are at least 80% effective)

IME most parents who choose not to vaccinate are pretty cautious about spreading transmissible diseases, more so than a lot of vaxxing parents I know - eg excluding themselves from things when their kid has a cough, observing quarantine periods for things like Whooping Cough. Whereas many ppl assume "oh my kids been vaccinated, they couldn't possibly have WC" and then  pass it on (most cases are passed on by vaxxed kids)

This is not to start a debate about effectiveness of vaxxing (personally I do vax). IMO it is good for all playgroups /parents groups to have a bit of a discussion about "ground rules" for illness and attendance - ie how long to stay away after gastro

In my limited experience, my non-vaxxing friends have been much more cautious in that respect

#5 FurryTongue

Posted 12 January 2013 - 04:04 PM

To be honest I am also concerned about having a difference of a opinion. The reason I am uneducated about the riskswith interacting regularly with the same group of unvaccinated kids  is because for me it was a no brainer to have my children vaccinated. I would never take that risk.
In many ways I am alternative with my parenting style and I do believe each to their own and do what works for you....but I don't agree with non-vaccination. I have no problem discussing it but as there was several (about five) mothers who chose not to vaccinate their kids I would be very uncomfortable to argue/defend why I vaccinated my children.
I would like to have friends who share my parenting style but the non-vaccination has made me stop and be a little cautious.

#6 Soontobegran

Posted 12 January 2013 - 04:13 PM

Your vaccinated children would be at little risk however I would be going nowhere near there with a new born or if I had a child or close family member who had compromised immunity, just like PP I think I would have trouble relating with the anti vaxxing mums and they with me. I am pretty opinionated when it comes to vaccinations just as most anti vaxxers are too, I see it as a recipe for disaster even though I know it is just one facet of these people's parenting choices.
I wouldn't dislike the people, but I dislike the choices and the frustration I felt would probably be obvious which is unfair to the dynamics of the group.

#7 naturalgoodness

Posted 12 January 2013 - 04:22 PM

In the playgroups and similar that I have been to, vaccination is not a topic regularly discussed so I would not have known who was and who wasn't vaccinated. There was never a conversation where anyone had to defend their position.

To be honest, I have had bigger issues than vaccination with some parenting choices made by other parents and it doesn't/hasn't stopped me attending these types of things.

I would suggest you go and see how you feel about it. I have felt the same way (being the non-vaccinator) when potentially entering a situation full of vaccinators and have not had an issue original.gif

#8 purplekitty

Posted 12 January 2013 - 04:44 PM

I agree with what STBG has said about the particular circumstances where I would be concerned.
QUOTE (naturalgoodness @ 12/01/2013, 04:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
In the playgroups and similar that I have been to, vaccination is not a topic regularly discussed so I would not have known who was and who wasn't vaccinated. There was never a conversation where anyone had to defend their position.
My Bold
Have you told them you don't vaccinate particularly if there are newborns , pregnant women or other health conditions?
I would think that might generate at least some discussion about ground rules and expectations in the group,vaccinated or not.

#9 Mumma Mash

Posted 12 January 2013 - 04:47 PM

I don't get it. Kids who are vaccinated are the ones carrying the disease... Not the other way around.
I think you need to get educated in both vaccinated and non vaccinated to settle you're nerves.

#10 purplekitty

Posted 12 January 2013 - 04:48 PM

QUOTE (Mumma Mash @ 12/01/2013, 04:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I don't get it. Kids who are vaccinated are the ones carrying the disease... Not the other way around.
I think you need to get educated in both vaccinated and non vaccinated to settle you're nerves.
Please explain what you mean.


#11 Expelliarmus

Posted 12 January 2013 - 04:50 PM

QUOTE (Mumma Mash @ 12/01/2013, 04:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I don't get it. Kids who are vaccinated are the ones carrying the disease... Not the other way around.
I think you need to get educated in both vaccinated and non vaccinated to settle you're nerves.

Huh?

Since when are vaccinated kids carrying a disease?

#12 Domestic Goddess

Posted 12 January 2013 - 04:51 PM

Your children will be reasonably safe. You could tell the mums that you respect their opinion about non vaxxing, but if they could give you a heads up if their child is coming down with something.
I would assume that most parents would have this common sense anyway. If DS is sick, I keep him away from other kids. Vaccinated or not.

Like PP, I go to several different playgroups and vaccination has never been a point of discussion. If they do bring it up, than again, just tell them that you respect their decision and hope they respect yours and that you do not want to enter a debate/discussion about such a socially "sensitive" issue.

#13 Domestic Goddess

Posted 12 January 2013 - 04:57 PM

QUOTE (Mumma Mash @ 12/01/2013, 05:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I don't get it. Kids who are vaccinated are the ones carrying the disease... Not the other way around.
I think you need to get educated in both vaccinated and non vaccinated to settle you're nerves.


On the contrary, maybe you yourself could read up on some more vaccination literature? Preferably without using Google.

They do not carry the disease. They get injected with a very weakened version of the viruses. Your immune system recognizes the intruders and starts developing antibodies against it and kills it.
As you now are the proud owner of these new antibodies, you are 95%-98%  protected if the intruders knocks on your door again in the future.

P.S. This is a very very simple explanation of how vaccines work. It is ofcourse "slightly" more complicated, but I hope this way you can grasp the information better and start realizing that vaccinated children do not carry the disease original.gif

Edited by Domestic Goddess, 12 January 2013 - 05:07 PM.


#14 FurryTongue

Posted 12 January 2013 - 06:01 PM

QUOTE (naturalgoodness @ 12/01/2013, 05:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
In the playgroups and similar that I have been to, vaccination is not a topic regularly discussed so I would not have known who was and who wasn't vaccinated. There was never a conversation where anyone had to defend their position.
I am in a playgroup and have been for several years. This was one of the first BIG conversations we had as mothers so I guess everyone knew who was/not vaccinated (all the kids are).

To be honest, I have had bigger issues than vaccination with some parenting choices made by other parents and it doesn't/hasn't stopped me attending these types of things.
Good point.

I would suggest you go and see how you feel about it. I have felt the same way (being the non-vaccinator) when potentially entering a situation full of vaccinators and have not had an issue original.gif

Again good point and valuable advice.


QUOTE (Mumma Mash @ 12/01/2013, 05:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I don't get it. Kids who are vaccinated are the ones carrying the disease... Not the other way around.
I think you need to get educated in both vaccinated and non vaccinated to settle you're nerves.

Perhaps you could educate me and settle my nerves? ohmy.gif

Thankyou Domestic Goddess for you advice. I really appreciate it and value your feedback.

#15 Cranky Kitten

Posted 12 January 2013 - 06:17 PM

I go to a similar playgroup, as well as being quite active in babywearing groups that have a fair number of non-vaxxing parents. We agree to disagree, and make a point not to preach at each other over it. I am careful about making sure DS and I stay away if we're sick, as are the vast majority of mums who attend.

It's never really been an issue for us - their kids don't carry the disease just because they haven't been vaxxed. Neither does mine because he has.

#16 Eirinn

Posted 12 January 2013 - 06:39 PM

If your kids are vaccinated, I don't really see the issue. There are plenty of adults walking around whose immunity has waned over the years too, who probably pose more of a 'danger'.

I associate with a lot of 'attachment' type parents, with whom I am likeminded to varying degrees on such topics as homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, baby led weaning, etc. We all have different levels of engagement in these practises. I myself do not use cloth nappies, and my kids are fully vaccinated. No one holds this against me, nor do I judge the women in the group who do things differently from myself. I think if you join this playgroup with the right attitude, you will be fine.

It IS possible to have different opinions on a topic without conflict. One of my closest friends has chosen not to vaccinate her daughter, as she had a bad reaction to the Hep B at birth. I understand why she feels that way, and though it is not the decision I would make, I believe she is doing what she feels is best for her child and do not take it as a personal affront.

#17 Corella

Posted 12 January 2013 - 06:42 PM

Yes same here - I live in a fairly alternative region and hang with crunchy types wink.gif and it is very clearly discussed that anyone who's sick needs to keep it to themselves. The expectation is that, vaccinated or not, it's not up to those who are healthy to pick and choose what they pick up.

#18 His Boy Elroy

Posted 12 January 2013 - 06:50 PM

QUOTE
My problem would be associating with whack job parents who have "done their research" and are not immunising because of whatever conspiracy theory they believe.


+1


#19 Alina0210

Posted 12 January 2013 - 06:54 PM

About 40% of little kids I know aren't vaccinate or delayed vaccinated, wouldn't bother me at all.... No issue at all

Usually the parents are on the ball and won't bring kids if they are sick etc

#20 password123

Posted 12 January 2013 - 07:02 PM

QUOTE (Mumma Mash @ 12/01/2013, 05:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I don't get it. Kids who are vaccinated are the ones carrying the disease... Not the other way around.
I think you need to get educated in both vaccinated and non vaccinated to settle you're nerves.

Holy cow. Did I just read that? I think I just lost a few brain cells.

#21 Soontobegran

Posted 12 January 2013 - 07:04 PM

QUOTE (purplekitty @ 12/01/2013, 05:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I agree with what STBG has said about the particular circumstances where I would be concerned.My Bold
Have you told them you don't vaccinate particularly if there are newborns , pregnant women or other health conditions?
I would think that might generate at least some discussion about ground rules and expectations in the group,vaccinated or not.

I'd be furious if I took my newborn to a playgroup and was not told that some of the children were not vaccinated!


QUOTE (Mumma Mash @ 12/01/2013, 05:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I don't get it. Kids who are vaccinated are the ones carrying the disease... Not the other way around.
I think you need to get educated in both vaccinated and non vaccinated to settle you're nerves.

Hmmm? unsure.gif


QUOTE (Alina0210 @ 12/01/2013, 07:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
About 40% of little kids I know aren't vaccinate or delayed vaccinated, wouldn't bother me at all.... No issue at all

Usually the parents are on the ball and won't bring kids if they are sick etc


I think in your role as a Doula Alina that it would be fairly important to know that you are not at risk of passing on anything to your clients so I actually think it is quite important to know the vacc status of people you may spend a lot of time with.
That being said I have no idea whether you are a vaccinator and are vaccinated yourself or not so it may be irrelevant. original.gif
I have to say that I don't have the faith that you have in the non vaccers keeping their children away because they are sick , I have experienced the opposite with some non vaxxers in my DD's husbands family and also the fact that many are infectious before they present with symptoms that would alert the parent to their being a problem is also a worry.

#22 caroldiem

Posted 12 January 2013 - 07:12 PM

If it was me i wouldn't attend especially if i had a newborn or was pregnant too risky, it just comes down what you are comfortable with i think there is a greater risk of catching a awful disease if you are around unvaccinated kids it's just a fact

I wouldn't go i also wouldn't relate to mums who don't vaccinate i would get into a major argument with them in the first 5 mins original.gif

#23 Jembo

Posted 12 January 2013 - 07:29 PM

I have never found it to be a topic that is discussed myself and wouldnt have a clue who at playgroup did and didn't and the same with school.

I have never thought to ask anyone I am meeting if their vacs up are up to date and never been asked myself (unless it is a medical professional or school etc you are enrolling in).

They both had delayed vaccinations and honestly no one would really have a clue.



#24 Beancat

Posted 12 January 2013 - 07:33 PM

Its all well and good for the parents of the non-vax kids to keep their kids at home when sick, but what about the instances when they are contagious BEFORE the symptoms are revealed?  This can be disasterous for pregnant women and newborns

Personally I would not join a group like this.  Mainly because I don't agree with them compromising herd immunity but they are happy to free ride from the herd immunity provided by the vaccinated population

#25 purplekitty

Posted 12 January 2013 - 07:38 PM

QUOTE (Jembo @ 12/01/2013, 07:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I have never found it to be a topic that is discussed myself and wouldnt have a clue who at playgroup did and didn't and the same with school.

I have never thought to ask anyone I am meeting if their vacs up are up to date and never been asked myself (unless it is a medical professional or school etc you are enrolling in).

They both had delayed vaccinations and honestly no one would really have a clue.
Yes, but do you think other parents have a right to know in situations such as playgroups where all the children get up close and personal?

As I said before, in certain situations I would want to know,particularly if there are any VPDs around.





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

How I learnt to relax about routines

After many routine-led, tough years, we've realised that being parenting isn't about being perfect. It isn't about following a schedule to a T.

Should you have a third child or not?

I thought our family had been complete with our two boys. I had no idea how much I needed my daughter until she was here.

Helping a toddler embrace an adopted sibling

A single parent by choice, I am preparing to adopt a second baby from Morocco. And I face a special challenge.

When pregnancy messes with your self-esteem

Pregnancy doesn't make all women feel beautiful. It certainly doesn't raise every woman's self-esteem.

Join us in The BIG nappy change

Introducing the new Coles Little Explorer Nappies! You can confidently rely on Coles Little Explorer nappies at each stage of your child's growth, so take the Big Nappy Change and try new Coles Little Explorer nappies for yourself!

Robbie Williams live tweets wife's labour

And the award for most patient woman in labour goes to ... Robbie Williams' wife, Ayda Field.

Vaccine ignorance is deadly and contagious

In the absence of credible, strong political leadership, paranoia about disease can go viral.

Parenting differently based on birth order

All children have unique personalities, but keeping birth order in mind could help when parenting.

How to get rid of the mum guilt

Motherhood and guilt seem to go hand in hand, but there are ways to focus

Paid parental leave scheme grinds to a halt

The future of Prime Minister Tony Abbott's paid parental leave scheme appears to be up in the air, despite the fact it is due to begin in less than nine months.

The devastation of foetal alcohol spectrum disorders

No one's sure how many Australians are affected by foetal alcohol spectrum disorders, but the consequences for those who are can be devastating.

The pros and cons of finding out the sex of your unborn baby

It’s often one of the biggest choices parents make during the course of their pregnancy; to find out, or not to find out, the sex of their baby before it’s born.

Toddler's awesome dress up month

Two-year-old Willow and her photographer mum, Gina Lee, made October "Dress Up Willow Month". She posted photos of Willow's costumes on her Instagram account, and her creative takes on popular culture are simply adorable.

Childhood around the world

It can be easy to assume our ideas around childhood are universal, but they are particular to where we live, as these practices show.

Best picks for baby and toddler shoes

Here's a great selection of footwear from pre-walker to walker ensuring comfort and style for growing feet.

I lost my wife and daughters to Ebola - then it came for my son

Sunday, September 21, is a day I will never forget.

The 'yucky' illness that took over my life

I have a chronic illness nobody likes to discuss. It involves toilet talk, and probably caused my miscarriage. But it needs to be talked about.

Prenatal testing: the facts

Prenatal testing is done to check if a baby has certain medical conditions before birth. Here is some important information about what the tests are for and the risks involved.

5 things to do with your baby?s old clothes

Did you think your only option for your baby?s old clothes was to pack them away or give them to the Salvos? Think again.

Why it's possible to not realise you're pregnant until the baby arrives

After hearing about 'surprise babies' born to mums who didn't know they were pregnant, it's common to ask "how did she not realise?" But experts say it's entirely possible for it to happen.

'My miracle is finally here'

How has the world continued on its pace when mine has been altered so drastically?

Dairy can help older women fall pregnant: study

Ice cream may be the ultimate comfort food, but a study suggests it could also help older women to have children.

Megan Gale goes topless for 'sexiest people' cover

Six months after a heavily pregnant Megan Gale posed nude for Marie Claire, the glowing new mum has gone topless for the cover of another magazine.

A new perspective on life from living with two diseases

A mother shares her personal story about the difficulty of living with two conditions, one of which stops her from being able to see her daughter's face.

Warning about Children's Panadol dosage

The Therapeutic Goods Administration has issued a safety advisory warning parents about confusion when using the dosing syringe supplied with Children's Panadol.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Take 'The Coles Big Nappy Change' Challenge

You could become part of our Test Drive team and win one of 200 packs of Coles Little Explorer Nappies as part of our 5-day challenge.

Win 1 of 5 Canon Powershot D30 cameras

Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!

16 parenting truths you won't find in the baby books

I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.

Best and worst potty party cakes

It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.

7 tips for a financially festive Christmas

Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Great birthday party buys from Etsy

Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.

Join us in The BIG nappy change

Introducing the new Coles Little Explorer Nappies! You can confidently rely on Coles Little Explorer nappies at each stage of your child's growth, so take the Big Nappy Change and try new Coles Little Explorer nappies for yourself!

Creative storage ideas for the kids' rooms

Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.

Weird trend

Couple has five babies in 14 months

Julie and David Grygla weren't sure they'd ever have kids - but their dreams have now well and truly come true.

To the mum in the doctor's waiting room

Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.

10 space-saving nursery ideas

Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.

 

What's in a name?

Baby Names

Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.