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what to take
for seriously ill friend

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24 replies to this topic

#1 doubting thomas

Posted 11 January 2013 - 11:22 PM

As the title says I  am just after the most helpful/wanted/needed thing that someone who is very ill ( a lady in her 40's) would appreciate as a gift when dropping in to see them . I think at home but may be hospital within days. cry1.gif as she is not expected to live for long

#2 doubting thomas

Posted 11 January 2013 - 11:24 PM

PLease help

#3 doubting thomas

Posted 11 January 2013 - 11:29 PM

giving up waiting and going to bed. Night all

#4 Kickingitcountry

Posted 11 January 2013 - 11:30 PM

I wish I knew umm if they go into hospital and can still eat normally maybe some yummy snacks that are a fave?
I'm sorry it's not very helpful.
To be honest just you being there for her and her family will be the best gift you can give.

#5 Lyn86

Posted 11 January 2013 - 11:31 PM

A digital frame with a thumb drive of photos?

#6 doubting thomas

Posted 11 January 2013 - 11:36 PM

Thank you both. This is awful . I dont have many photos, damn , her son has spent many many days and nights with us but I never thought to take a photo. I hope whoever reads this thinks of that and grabs their camera and snaps off a few shots. You never know how much they wil be appreciated.

#7 bubzillaiscoming

Posted 11 January 2013 - 11:39 PM

I had a friend who was recently asking the same thing of her father who was dying of cancer. They celebrated his 60th birthday weeks before he passed and she bought a lovely bottle of champagne that they shared.

Depending on how close you are and how lucid/well she is you could provide drinks/nibbles and chit chat or photos with happy memories.

I think overall, TIME is what would be important. Not being lonely in the middle of the night when she might be frightened...

I hope you can provide some comfort x

#8 bubzillaiscoming

Posted 11 January 2013 - 11:40 PM

PS just thought of a digital photo frame that can flick up continuous pics of her loved ones and happy times so that no matter what time it is there is someone with her...

#9 doubting thomas

Posted 11 January 2013 - 11:45 PM

Excellent idea. I will  hopefully get her son and mine  onto that in the morning.

#10 Bedge

Posted 11 January 2013 - 11:49 PM

This isn't a gift, although could you take portable DVD player (if she is in hospital) and watch a fun DVD together, along with some yummy popcorn and lollies/chocolate?

#11 taffy19

Posted 11 January 2013 - 11:51 PM


I saw something similar at the post office not long ago. You can get spoken ones and written.

#12 doubting thomas

Posted 11 January 2013 - 11:51 PM

Just have to put it out there before I go to bed. THIS IS SO EFFING UNFAIR! SHe did nothing wrong and she is dying at 46.! I know for a fact that her children love her and my oldest does too and Im not sure what else to say except this sux.

#13 doubting thomas

Posted 11 January 2013 - 11:54 PM

Thing is she hasnt got the chance to be a grandmother. Just been told at 46 she has days to live ( after years of various cancer diagnoses)

#14 FeRaL n ScReWeD

Posted 12 January 2013 - 12:00 AM

I'm sorry sad.gif i  have no idea how this world works, its unfair. im not religious but maybe if she is religious you could take a bible and read.Or maybe a fave book of hers so you can read to her.

#15 unicycle

Posted 12 January 2013 - 12:06 AM

Just give her a promise: that you will be there for those she leaves behind

#16 doubting thomas

Posted 12 January 2013 - 12:08 AM

I certainly will . I treat her son as one of mine. Its still completely bloody horrendous though.

#17 doubting thomas

Posted 12 January 2013 - 12:11 AM

Actually unicycle I will remember to promise exactly that when I see her in the morning. It something I would have assumed rather than said. Thank you

#18 unicycle

Posted 12 January 2013 - 12:12 AM

Sorry , what i failed to explain eloquently was that maybe you can give her some peace of mind. My thoughts are with you all

Oops we are posting at the same time!

#19 unicycle

Posted 12 January 2013 - 12:14 AM

If she is up to watching things: can you watch an episode of Mr Bean together. It sounds silly, but give it a go. Don't need to listen carefully, just watch and giggle particularly if there are children there.
Edited because I am tired.

Edited by unicycle, 12 January 2013 - 12:15 AM.

#20 doubting thomas

Posted 12 January 2013 - 12:22 AM

AM off to bed now but tomorrow I am off to visit with Mr Bean and promises in hand ( and some choccies ). This is awful , and Ive never seen my oldest ( 19) so upset. He has been through stuff of his own but this has really knocked him as its his best friends mum

#21 Nofliesonme

Posted 12 January 2013 - 12:47 AM

The gift of time is the most cherished gift anyone can give. The fact you were there at say 2am when all her worries come out would be the best. Just being by their side. That will be the most remembered.

#22 unicycle

Posted 12 January 2013 - 10:33 AM

Thinking of you all.

#23 doubting thomas

Posted 12 January 2013 - 10:38 AM

Thanks, still waiting  to visit ( for various reasons like no car) should get there this afternoon or tomorrow morning

#24 spando

Posted 12 January 2013 - 11:34 AM

If she still able to speak well record some stories either her reading them or telling stories about when her kids were little. I have a friend who plays these for her daughter. Stories from her grandmother that she never got to meet. The little girl talks back it is lovely.

#25 Guest_~Coffee~_*

Posted 12 January 2013 - 11:37 AM

As others have said, the greatest gift you can give her is your love and understanding. Tell her how much she means to you and how much the boys love their time together etc. Just be there for her and be real.

There is nothing worse than being very ill and no one visiting or if they do it's an awkward 10 minute visit where they avoid what's going on...

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