Jump to content

third child


  • Please log in to reply
11 replies to this topic

#1 beck22

Posted 11 January 2013 - 10:38 PM

I am so torn between having a third baby or not. I am 29 this year and my partner is 31 and we have a daughter who is turning 6  and a two and a half year old son. Up until a fewmonths ago I was totally against even the thought of a third child but for some reason my body is yearning for another baby but my head is still in the undecided camp. My partner is ok either way. So I guess I am after some advice from those who have had the same feelings and either went for the third or decided against it and what helped you make that decision. If I have another baby I really don't want to wait to long as I always wanted to be done having children by the time I was thirty. Any help would be appreciated.

I know it is ultimately our decision in the end and only we can decide what is best for our situation just wanted to hear others stories and experiences.

Thanks

Beck

#2 bubzillaiscoming

Posted 11 January 2013 - 11:02 PM

I have a nearly 2 yo and an 8 mo. At the moment having #3 is completely off my radar!! But I don't feel "finished" even though DD has been pure hell with the sleeping.

You certainly aren't 'old' and your current bubs have  years between them ... do you need to make a decision now?

I think if your partner is ok with it and you can't stop thinking about it, maybe it is inevitable ....!!!!!

Good luck and enjoy original.gif

#3 SCARFACE CLAW

Posted 11 January 2013 - 11:10 PM

I have a 4yo DD and a 2yo DS, and am pregnant with number 3. We had the same issue deciding whether to have another or not; at one point we were completely against it, next minute we decided to go for it. I think for us it came down to "can we afford it?" and "Which would we regret more". Do some soul searching, you have plenty of time original.gif

#4 Dragonfly2

Posted 12 January 2013 - 01:26 AM

Ive always wanted 3, but my DH was not keen on the idea (mainly because he was not a fan of the newborn/baby stage), it took some convincing but he was finally on board. DD2 arrived last july and is almost 6months old, she is a joy, she was a dream newborn and is a dream baby. She has just slotted in and totally completed our family, her big brother & sister are besotted with her. My DH lights up when he is with her.

No.3....I can say we have no regrets and I'm a big believer that in life we are only delt what we can handle, when we make sensible life choices.

I am trully blessed. Good luck with what your heart decides.

#5 Alina0210

Posted 12 January 2013 - 02:17 AM

I have 3 and couldn't imagine it any other way, yes it's a bit more chaotic but it's so worth it...

#6 Carmen02

Posted 12 January 2013 - 06:12 AM

i have 3, we where unsure on a 3rd or not hence the age gap between 2nd and 3rd lol DD was 8 and DS was 6 when DS2 was born. Now our family feels complete original.gif

#7 livvie7586

Posted 12 January 2013 - 06:43 AM

we're still a few months off having number 3, but we had the same problem deciding whether we really wanted a third or not.  in the end we just let nature take its course (gave it a year, if #3 hadn't been conceived by then we were giving up), and DS2 is due at the end of march.

You have time to make a decision, though.  don't rush in to it just to regret it (it took us over a year to come to the above decision)

#8 Natttmumm

Posted 12 January 2013 - 06:52 AM

I am expecting number 3 in 5 weeks. We also have a 5 and 3 year old. We did um and ahh about a third for about a yr. In fact we had a miscarriage and decided not to try again. By accident number 3 came about 3 months later. We would have tried again eventually anyway. It was a hard decision to go from 2 to 3 we thought about finances, working, juggling, tiredness, coping ability etc.
For us I think a lot of it came down to what was in our hearts. All the practical things probably pointed towards not having a third. If we only had two I was due for a promotion with a great pay rise, the kids were booked into private school (can't afford for 3), our car was good for 2 etc. for some reason we still wanted another.....
The pregnancy has been tough on me due to lots of morning sickness and juggling two young kids. I found it much tougher that I thought and it wasn't even something I took into account. It's been a really long 8 months so far. I have felt exhausted the entire time.
All I know is I had a feeling that I wasn't finished having babies before this one and I probably would have felt down about it still if we hadn't gone ahead. Now that I'm almost here I feel I am done and I couldn't do it again. That's how I know this ones the last and I'm really happy with that and happy not to be pregnant again.
It's a hard decision but one you will work out when the time is right!!!!



#9 sophiasmum

Posted 12 January 2013 - 10:21 AM

I think if you take away the pressure of "I want to be done with babies by the time I am 30" rule, then you will feel a lot more relaxed about making a decision without that extra pressure. You may decide #3 is good for you, but if you give yourself the time to come to that decision, you'll feel a lot more relaxed about it.

FWIW #3 is my favourite  laughing2.gif

#10 Spa Gonk

Posted 14 January 2013 - 01:53 AM

I have 3.  I love children and always wonder if I would eVer feel done having children. Bot my surprise, I do feel done now.  For the first few months after the birth we both were thinking about another, as our daughter was just so lovely.  And she was probably the child I could actually enjoy, rather than constant worrying and not knowing what I was doing.  

However, now it gets pretty busy and it can be harder to be involved with the older kids activities and the like because of te baby.  I really want to be an involved parent, and feel like 3 is my limit to be able to do so.  It feels good to feel done!  And our daughter has been so enjoyable to us.

#11 MumLOA

Posted 14 January 2013 - 10:59 AM

We had trouble deciding to have number 3 too...but here we are with 3, and what can i say, it's definitely busier but our third is so lovely (even though he was our worst sleeper!) and i couldn't imagine it any other way!

As a previous poster said though, i know i'm at my 'limit' as it can be hard to spend time with the older ones when it comes to school/sporting activities etc (my kids are 8, 4 & 1)

#12 B.feral3

Posted 14 January 2013 - 11:42 AM

We have 3. We love DS3 to pieces and wouldn't swap him for the world. He's such a joy. In hindsight though, and thinking back when he was only a hypothetical baby, I often kind of wish I'd gone with my head and not my heart and we'd stopped at 2.

It's not financial, we are comfortable. My kids are really passive and chilled out and don't give me much grief at all so it's not that either. I can't even really put my finger on why, it's a combination of a lot of small things. Not being involved in DS's school even though I want to be, having only one set of hands during the week, needing to be in 20 different places at once for each childs different activities, sports, school/kindy etc, not getting any time to myself, not going back to work which I really want to do because I love my job, buckling 3 kids in and out of the car which I hate with a passion and more. It's easier when we are away to manage 2 and whilst on holidays. We trip back to the UK every 2 years and 2 would be easier and far less costly.

Don't get me wrong, I have no regrets about having 3. He's such a beautiful baby and we love him enormously. If I had my time again though I would have stopped at two though.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Clever panda fakes pregnancy

News that a giant panda was pregnant prompted much excitement, but it appears there were never any cubs on the way.

'I survived placenta percreta'

When writing her birth plan, Simone Pavil included an item most women wouldn?t even think about: what should happen if she was put on life support. The mum had the potentially fatal condition placenta accreta.

Managing personal space as a mum

In the midst of the early parenting years, our bodies and minds can seemingly be overtaken by our offspring. How can we balance our need for personal space with the needs of our children?

'If love could have saved you, you'd have never left'

The words "spontaneous abortion" on the hospital paperwork really got to me. My baby died; I didn't spontaneously decide to abort him.

15 classic Aussie ads

Watch some of the classic Australian ads of the 80s, 90s and 00s, and remember the catchphrases and jingles we all used to know so well ...

For and against

Should Blue Ivy have been at the VMAs?

Many were quick to condemn Beyonce and Jay Z after appearing on stage at the MTV Video Music Awards with their two-year-old daughter, but others thought it was a sweet family moment. What do you think?

Toddler attacked at gym creche

Two-year-old girl Eva Ness was left with a black eye and bite marks on her face and body after an altercation with an older child at a health club's child-minding facilities. Now her parents are calling for the centre to be closed.

Pregnancy a tricky matter of timing for FIFO couples

Manipulating rosters, coordinating 'conjugal' visits, working on site with your partner; getting pregnant can prove stressful for FIFO workers.

WIN a $100 RedBalloon for Dad

Enter now for your chance to win 1 of 5 $100 RedBalloon experience vouchers. Helping you make Dad's Day EXTRA HAPPY.

Carseats have twice as many germs as a toilet

Most parents know their child's carseat is not always squeaky clean, but they might not realise just how dirty it really is.

Doctors remove foetus from 'medical marvel' after 36 years

Doctors in India have removed the skeleton of a foetus that had been inside a woman for 36 years.

Nine months in six seconds: new parents' Vine clip a hit

We?ve seen some memorable time-lapse pregnancy and birth announcement videos before. Now one new couple has taken it to the extreme, capturing it all in just a six-second Vine video.

Sonia Kruger speaks of baby joy

Celebrity mum-to-be Sonia Kruger has spoken candidly about using donor eggs and IVF to fall pregnant at age 48.

Dressing to not impress: life through the eyes of a three-year-old

When it comes to getting dressed, my three-year-old has only one criterion: ?I don?t want to look beautiful.? And now I've worked out why.

Special nappies made with love for angel babies

Angel Baby Nappies make and provide tiny bereavement cloth nappies for pre-term stillborn babies and premature babies who pass away in the NICU.

Inside the brain of a tantruming toddler

What's going on in your child's mind in the lead-up to a tantrum? And what?s the best way to respond?

5 secrets to a long-lasting relationship

When it comes to keeping your relationship strong, it?s what you do - and not what you want - that really matters.

When 'furbabies' meet real babies

I am obsessed with my dogs, and can't imagine loving them any less once my baby arrives. But that doesn't stop everyone from telling me I will.

The least popular baby names of 2013

Looking for a baby name that?s nowhere near the top 10 ? or even the top 1000? Try the bottom five.

'I was so sleep deprived I crashed my car'

There are no laws regulating driving while tired, but statistics show that driver fatigue is one of the top three contributors to the road toll.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

WIN a $100 RedBalloon for Dad

Enter now for your chance to win 1 of 5 $100 RedBalloon experience vouchers. Helping you make Dad's Day EXTRA HAPPY.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Do you suffer from Precious Firstborn Syndrome?

Testing ?no more tears? shampoo in your own eyes, warming cucumber sticks so they're not cold straight from the fridge, waking a sleeping baby to check they?re still breathing: these are all symptoms of Precious Firstborn Syndrome.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Video: When adults act like children

Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.

Mums hit hardest as flu cases skyrocket

The number of confirmed cases of influenza in Australia has doubled the number for the same time last year - and women are 25 per cent more likely to get it.

The mum who had four babies in nine months

Feeling exhausted due to the demands of caring for a baby? Imagine the life of this mum, who gave birth to three boys and one girl in just nine months.

Everything baby at Big W

Lowest prices on everything baby, only at Big W. Sale starts August 4 and ends August 20 2014.

Going viral

Outrage over baby's icy challenge

A man has been reported to child protective services after taking the ALS ice bucket challenge with his 10-month-old granddaughter.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.