Jump to content

third child


  • Please log in to reply
11 replies to this topic

#1 beck22

Posted 11 January 2013 - 10:38 PM

I am so torn between having a third baby or not. I am 29 this year and my partner is 31 and we have a daughter who is turning 6  and a two and a half year old son. Up until a fewmonths ago I was totally against even the thought of a third child but for some reason my body is yearning for another baby but my head is still in the undecided camp. My partner is ok either way. So I guess I am after some advice from those who have had the same feelings and either went for the third or decided against it and what helped you make that decision. If I have another baby I really don't want to wait to long as I always wanted to be done having children by the time I was thirty. Any help would be appreciated.

I know it is ultimately our decision in the end and only we can decide what is best for our situation just wanted to hear others stories and experiences.

Thanks

Beck

#2 bubzillaiscoming

Posted 11 January 2013 - 11:02 PM

I have a nearly 2 yo and an 8 mo. At the moment having #3 is completely off my radar!! But I don't feel "finished" even though DD has been pure hell with the sleeping.

You certainly aren't 'old' and your current bubs have  years between them ... do you need to make a decision now?

I think if your partner is ok with it and you can't stop thinking about it, maybe it is inevitable ....!!!!!

Good luck and enjoy original.gif

#3 SCARFACE CLAW

Posted 11 January 2013 - 11:10 PM

I have a 4yo DD and a 2yo DS, and am pregnant with number 3. We had the same issue deciding whether to have another or not; at one point we were completely against it, next minute we decided to go for it. I think for us it came down to "can we afford it?" and "Which would we regret more". Do some soul searching, you have plenty of time original.gif

#4 Dragonfly2

Posted 12 January 2013 - 01:26 AM

Ive always wanted 3, but my DH was not keen on the idea (mainly because he was not a fan of the newborn/baby stage), it took some convincing but he was finally on board. DD2 arrived last july and is almost 6months old, she is a joy, she was a dream newborn and is a dream baby. She has just slotted in and totally completed our family, her big brother & sister are besotted with her. My DH lights up when he is with her.

No.3....I can say we have no regrets and I'm a big believer that in life we are only delt what we can handle, when we make sensible life choices.

I am trully blessed. Good luck with what your heart decides.

#5 Alina0210

Posted 12 January 2013 - 02:17 AM

I have 3 and couldn't imagine it any other way, yes it's a bit more chaotic but it's so worth it...

#6 Carmen02

Posted 12 January 2013 - 06:12 AM

i have 3, we where unsure on a 3rd or not hence the age gap between 2nd and 3rd lol DD was 8 and DS was 6 when DS2 was born. Now our family feels complete original.gif

#7 livvie7586

Posted 12 January 2013 - 06:43 AM

we're still a few months off having number 3, but we had the same problem deciding whether we really wanted a third or not.  in the end we just let nature take its course (gave it a year, if #3 hadn't been conceived by then we were giving up), and DS2 is due at the end of march.

You have time to make a decision, though.  don't rush in to it just to regret it (it took us over a year to come to the above decision)

#8 Natttmumm

Posted 12 January 2013 - 06:52 AM

I am expecting number 3 in 5 weeks. We also have a 5 and 3 year old. We did um and ahh about a third for about a yr. In fact we had a miscarriage and decided not to try again. By accident number 3 came about 3 months later. We would have tried again eventually anyway. It was a hard decision to go from 2 to 3 we thought about finances, working, juggling, tiredness, coping ability etc.
For us I think a lot of it came down to what was in our hearts. All the practical things probably pointed towards not having a third. If we only had two I was due for a promotion with a great pay rise, the kids were booked into private school (can't afford for 3), our car was good for 2 etc. for some reason we still wanted another.....
The pregnancy has been tough on me due to lots of morning sickness and juggling two young kids. I found it much tougher that I thought and it wasn't even something I took into account. It's been a really long 8 months so far. I have felt exhausted the entire time.
All I know is I had a feeling that I wasn't finished having babies before this one and I probably would have felt down about it still if we hadn't gone ahead. Now that I'm almost here I feel I am done and I couldn't do it again. That's how I know this ones the last and I'm really happy with that and happy not to be pregnant again.
It's a hard decision but one you will work out when the time is right!!!!



#9 sophiasmum

Posted 12 January 2013 - 10:21 AM

I think if you take away the pressure of "I want to be done with babies by the time I am 30" rule, then you will feel a lot more relaxed about making a decision without that extra pressure. You may decide #3 is good for you, but if you give yourself the time to come to that decision, you'll feel a lot more relaxed about it.

FWIW #3 is my favourite  laughing2.gif

#10 Spa Gonk

Posted 14 January 2013 - 01:53 AM

I have 3.  I love children and always wonder if I would eVer feel done having children. Bot my surprise, I do feel done now.  For the first few months after the birth we both were thinking about another, as our daughter was just so lovely.  And she was probably the child I could actually enjoy, rather than constant worrying and not knowing what I was doing.  

However, now it gets pretty busy and it can be harder to be involved with the older kids activities and the like because of te baby.  I really want to be an involved parent, and feel like 3 is my limit to be able to do so.  It feels good to feel done!  And our daughter has been so enjoyable to us.

#11 MumLOA

Posted 14 January 2013 - 10:59 AM

We had trouble deciding to have number 3 too...but here we are with 3, and what can i say, it's definitely busier but our third is so lovely (even though he was our worst sleeper!) and i couldn't imagine it any other way!

As a previous poster said though, i know i'm at my 'limit' as it can be hard to spend time with the older ones when it comes to school/sporting activities etc (my kids are 8, 4 & 1)

#12 B.feral3

Posted 14 January 2013 - 11:42 AM

We have 3. We love DS3 to pieces and wouldn't swap him for the world. He's such a joy. In hindsight though, and thinking back when he was only a hypothetical baby, I often kind of wish I'd gone with my head and not my heart and we'd stopped at 2.

It's not financial, we are comfortable. My kids are really passive and chilled out and don't give me much grief at all so it's not that either. I can't even really put my finger on why, it's a combination of a lot of small things. Not being involved in DS's school even though I want to be, having only one set of hands during the week, needing to be in 20 different places at once for each childs different activities, sports, school/kindy etc, not getting any time to myself, not going back to work which I really want to do because I love my job, buckling 3 kids in and out of the car which I hate with a passion and more. It's easier when we are away to manage 2 and whilst on holidays. We trip back to the UK every 2 years and 2 would be easier and far less costly.

Don't get me wrong, I have no regrets about having 3. He's such a beautiful baby and we love him enormously. If I had my time again though I would have stopped at two though.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Natural pain relief in the early stages of labour

While managing labour pains on your own can be daunting, there are a number of natural pain relief options to help you cope until you are admitted to hospital.

Chinese woman gives birth to quintuplets

After six years of trying for a baby, a couple’s dreams have come true many times over after the mum gave birth to quintuplets this week.

Five-year-old shoots nine-month-old brother dead

A nine-month-old baby boy died on Monday after he was shot in the head by his five-year-old brother in their grandfather's home.

'Is that baby yours?'

She is my daughter. I gave birth to her. I nurse her. But she doesn't have any of my genes.

Episiotomy in childbirth: not just 'a little snip'

Episiotomies have a place in maternity care – and can occasionally save lives – but should not be performed routinely.

Toddler aggression not caused by language delays after all: study

The logic was that children who don’t have the language to fully express themselves will lash out when they’re misunderstood. Not anymore.

Why we chose to adopt a child with Down sydrome

Everyone in foster care (and really in life) has something that makes them more vulnerable. We just know what our son's is.

Object of desire

Curvy mums make clever babies

Scientists appear to have discovered why women have evolved to have more curves than men – shapely thighs and bottoms lead to healthier babies.

'We'll make sure they know how much she loved them'

A first-time mum will never get to hold her four newborns, dying shortly after giving birth to the quadruplets.

The baby names NZ knocked back in 2014

A New Zealander has tried to name their baby Senior Constable but didn't get away with it - and numbering children is also a no-no.

How can you go into labour without knowing you're pregnant?

For most of us, the idea that a woman could carry a child to full-term without knowing she is pregnant is mind-boggling.

Will you get to the hospital in time?

Worrying your baby will be delivered by the roadside is a common concern for many mothers-to-be. So how likely are you to be caught short?

Video: Funny 'Lips Are Moving' parody just for mums

Meghan Trainor's song 'Lips Are Moving' was already a hit, but now it's been turned into a hilarious parody that is set to be very popular with frustrated mums everywhere.

Out with the clutter

Decluttering by the numbers: take the 30-day challenge

Forget the 5:2 diet - Twitter's 30-day declutter challenge will have your house back in shape in no time (well, a month).

Parents, don't be too hard on yourselves

We need to stop damning parents of today, and embrace their appetite for knowledge instead.

Is my baby normal?

There are chubby Buddha babies and there are thin, smaller babies. Neither are right or wrong, they are all 'normal'.

When an older sibling starts school

When one child goes to ‘big school’ and leaves the other behind, it can cause deep upset. Here's how to make the transition easier.

Stray cat saves abandoned baby

They say dogs are man's best friend, but one cat has proven felines can be just as devoted to their human companions.

How strangers are helping a mum's wish come true after her death

A mum of five, Liz Marquez wanted to breastfeed her premmie son for a year. So when she passed away suddenly, her friends - and strangers - stepped in to help.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Stars help save choking babies

It's an important lesson to learn, but one that busy new mums and dads might overlook until it's too late.

New Girl star Zooey Deschanel pregnant

Actress Zooey Deschanel is expecting her first child with her producer boyfriend Jacob Pechenik.

16 times 'dad reflexes' saved the day

Of course, in some cases they may be the ones who actually got their child into a precarious position in the first place, but we'll ignore that for now.

Couple's 'non-traditional' pregnancy announcement goes viral

Knowing you are not the father of your pregnant wife's baby would usually indicate a rocky relationship ahead for traditional parents.

The trials and tribulations of identical triplet newborns

Pip Donnelly is still playing spot the difference with her newborn identical triplets, Isabelle, Georgina and Frankie.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Earthquake baby thriving five years on

Jenny Alexis is lucky to be alive after spending four days buried in the rubble of the 2010 Haitian earthquake, but now she's a thriving five year old.

Please don't say I'm lucky because I was adopted

On the one hand I was having a regular life with friends and sports and sleepovers and school. But I was also always wondering: Did my mother love me? What was wrong with me?

An open letter to non-parents who offer advice on child-rearing

Kitty, when you’re the parent of my child you’re welcome to wade in with an opinion – but until then, I’d prefer you to have a supportive ear and a glass of wine ready.

Couple arrested over baby gun video

A US couple faces charges after investigators say they found mobile phone videos showing the woman's 12-month-old daughter putting a handgun in her mouth.

NSW Health dumps 10-year limit on frozen embryos

A 10-year time limit on storing frozen embryos that were created with donor sperm has been dropped by the NSW government.

How my happy-go-lucky husband became a monster

Sharan Nicholson-Rogers watched her husband change from a happy-go-lucky police officer into an unpredictable man prone to violent and emotional outbursts.

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes, too

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes in line with their pregnant partners, a new study shows.

'They were just doing their job': mum of toddler killed in police chase gone wrong

"They were just doing their job. I feel so sorry for them. It is all just too sad."

Miscarriages to be formally recognised by NSW government

Women who miscarry will be able to obtain an optional "recognition of loss" certificate as a formal recognition of their often heartbreaking loss.

Cafe cubby house 'too noisy' for neighbours

Teenage parties, domestic disputes, or raucous late night pubs are the things that usually come to mind when you think neighbourhood noise complaints.

Dad films baby playing with snake

Most parents would not consider a snake an appropriate playmate for their baby, but a US dad who filmed his daughter playing with a python has defended himself against criticism.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

Win with The Boxtrolls

To celebrate the release of The Boxtrolls on 3D Blu-ray, DVD & Digital with UltraViolet, we're giving you the chance to win a Boxtroll stationary package and DVD.

 

Back to School Offer

Findababysitter.com.au

We've got you covered for this school year. Use www.findababysitter.com.au to meet local nannies now.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.