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11 replies to this topic
Posted 11 January 2013 - 10:38 PM
I am so torn between having a third baby or not. I am 29 this year and my partner is 31 and we have a daughter who is turning 6 and a two and a half year old son. Up until a fewmonths ago I was totally against even the thought of a third child but for some reason my body is yearning for another baby but my head is still in the undecided camp. My partner is ok either way. So I guess I am after some advice from those who have had the same feelings and either went for the third or decided against it and what helped you make that decision. If I have another baby I really don't want to wait to long as I always wanted to be done having children by the time I was thirty. Any help would be appreciated.
I know it is ultimately our decision in the end and only we can decide what is best for our situation just wanted to hear others stories and experiences.
Posted 11 January 2013 - 11:02 PM
I have a nearly 2 yo and an 8 mo. At the moment having #3 is completely off my radar!! But I don't feel "finished" even though DD has been pure hell with the sleeping.
You certainly aren't 'old' and your current bubs have years between them ... do you need to make a decision now?
I think if your partner is ok with it and you can't stop thinking about it, maybe it is inevitable ....!!!!!
Good luck and enjoy
Posted 11 January 2013 - 11:10 PM
I have a 4yo DD and a 2yo DS, and am pregnant with number 3. We had the same issue deciding whether to have another or not; at one point we were completely against it, next minute we decided to go for it. I think for us it came down to "can we afford it?" and "Which would we regret more". Do some soul searching, you have plenty of time
Posted 12 January 2013 - 01:26 AM
Ive always wanted 3, but my DH was not keen on the idea (mainly because he was not a fan of the newborn/baby stage), it took some convincing but he was finally on board. DD2 arrived last july and is almost 6months old, she is a joy, she was a dream newborn and is a dream baby. She has just slotted in and totally completed our family, her big brother & sister are besotted with her. My DH lights up when he is with her.
No.3....I can say we have no regrets and I'm a big believer that in life we are only delt what we can handle, when we make sensible life choices.
I am trully blessed. Good luck with what your heart decides.
Posted 12 January 2013 - 02:17 AM
I have 3 and couldn't imagine it any other way, yes it's a bit more chaotic but it's so worth it...
Posted 12 January 2013 - 06:12 AM
i have 3, we where unsure on a 3rd or not hence the age gap between 2nd and 3rd lol DD was 8 and DS was 6 when DS2 was born. Now our family feels complete
Posted 12 January 2013 - 06:43 AM
we're still a few months off having number 3, but we had the same problem deciding whether we really wanted a third or not. in the end we just let nature take its course (gave it a year, if #3 hadn't been conceived by then we were giving up), and DS2 is due at the end of march.
You have time to make a decision, though. don't rush in to it just to regret it (it took us over a year to come to the above decision)
Posted 12 January 2013 - 06:52 AM
I am expecting number 3 in 5 weeks. We also have a 5 and 3 year old. We did um and ahh about a third for about a yr. In fact we had a miscarriage and decided not to try again. By accident number 3 came about 3 months later. We would have tried again eventually anyway. It was a hard decision to go from 2 to 3 we thought about finances, working, juggling, tiredness, coping ability etc.
For us I think a lot of it came down to what was in our hearts. All the practical things probably pointed towards not having a third. If we only had two I was due for a promotion with a great pay rise, the kids were booked into private school (can't afford for 3), our car was good for 2 etc. for some reason we still wanted another.....
The pregnancy has been tough on me due to lots of morning sickness and juggling two young kids. I found it much tougher that I thought and it wasn't even something I took into account. It's been a really long 8 months so far. I have felt exhausted the entire time.
All I know is I had a feeling that I wasn't finished having babies before this one and I probably would have felt down about it still if we hadn't gone ahead. Now that I'm almost here I feel I am done and I couldn't do it again. That's how I know this ones the last and I'm really happy with that and happy not to be pregnant again.
It's a hard decision but one you will work out when the time is right!!!!
Posted 12 January 2013 - 10:21 AM
I think if you take away the pressure of "I want to be done with babies by the time I am 30" rule, then you will feel a lot more relaxed about making a decision without that extra pressure. You may decide #3 is good for you, but if you give yourself the time to come to that decision, you'll feel a lot more relaxed about it.
FWIW #3 is my favourite
Posted 14 January 2013 - 01:53 AM
I have 3. I love children and always wonder if I would eVer feel done having children. Bot my surprise, I do feel done now. For the first few months after the birth we both were thinking about another, as our daughter was just so lovely. And she was probably the child I could actually enjoy, rather than constant worrying and not knowing what I was doing.
However, now it gets pretty busy and it can be harder to be involved with the older kids activities and the like because of te baby. I really want to be an involved parent, and feel like 3 is my limit to be able to do so. It feels good to feel done! And our daughter has been so enjoyable to us.
Posted 14 January 2013 - 10:59 AM
We had trouble deciding to have number 3 too...but here we are with 3, and what can i say, it's definitely busier but our third is so lovely (even though he was our worst sleeper!) and i couldn't imagine it any other way!
As a previous poster said though, i know i'm at my 'limit' as it can be hard to spend time with the older ones when it comes to school/sporting activities etc (my kids are 8, 4 & 1)
Posted 14 January 2013 - 11:42 AM
We have 3. We love DS3 to pieces and wouldn't swap him for the world. He's such a joy. In hindsight though, and thinking back when he was only a hypothetical baby, I often kind of wish I'd gone with my head and not my heart and we'd stopped at 2.
It's not financial, we are comfortable. My kids are really passive and chilled out and don't give me much grief at all so it's not that either. I can't even really put my finger on why, it's a combination of a lot of small things. Not being involved in DS's school even though I want to be, having only one set of hands during the week, needing to be in 20 different places at once for each childs different activities, sports, school/kindy etc, not getting any time to myself, not going back to work which I really want to do because I love my job, buckling 3 kids in and out of the car which I hate with a passion and more. It's easier when we are away to manage 2 and whilst on holidays. We trip back to the UK every 2 years and 2 would be easier and far less costly.
Don't get me wrong, I have no regrets about having 3. He's such a beautiful baby and we love him enormously. If I had my time again though I would have stopped at two though.
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