Jump to content

Cause i'm bored on a thursday night and this should get interesting....


  • Please log in to reply
183 replies to this topic

#1 whatnamenow

Posted 10 January 2013 - 08:09 PM

Came across this in a link from another blog and it really reasonated with me in a way.
blog post

I until the last few weeks was a diehard boobie feeder.  Didnt see any reason why most people couldnt BF and saw FF as mostly a choice not a need. Now that new DD is quite literally allergic to my breastmilk ( i was making her sick to the point she was hospitalised) and we are having to rely on prescription formula to feed her I am seeing the other side.

Why should i have to justify it to strangers who seem to think its their business why I am FF?

If i dont tell them DD's medical history and i dont feel i have too and just throw out a I couldnt BF does that then make me one of those 'making excuses in the eyes of women like these?

And last of all why out of all of those things do i care what some stranger in a parenting room thinks of me?


#2 Rainbow Brite

Posted 10 January 2013 - 08:16 PM

I have never once received negative comments etc due to formula feeding. Where are all these critical people you hear about? There are always stories being told but I have never come across the negativity.

Edited by Madam Plum, 10 January 2013 - 08:17 PM.


#3 Riotproof

Posted 10 January 2013 - 08:17 PM

Seriously? What is it you're looking for?
No one is going to condemn you for doing the best thing for your baby. No one is going to condemn me for continuing to breastfeed my toddler while avoiding his main allergens. And if they do, I don't care.

Anybody who has breastfed a toddler knows it is about more than just food, but it's not the only way to foster closeness. For a baby, it is just about food. You found food that doesn't make your baby sick which is fantastic.

#4 imamumto3

Posted 10 January 2013 - 08:21 PM

QUOTE (Madam Plum @ 10/01/2013, 09:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I have never once received negative comments etc due to formula feeding. Where are all these critical people you hear about? There are always stories being told but I have never come across the negativity.

this.

I bf, but most of my friends have ff.  I have only ever seen support for either those bf or ff, no one has ever received negative comments for their choice.  you do what works for you and your child, it's no one else's business.

#5 Chief Pancake Make

Posted 10 January 2013 - 08:22 PM

OK I only got through half of that because it was too bl&&dy long and I wanted to punch the author.

Its the same as the vaginal birth vs CS, drug free vs epidural  - as long as you have a happy healthy baby at the end who F%^&^g cares - its nobodies business but the parents.

#6 Expelliarmus

Posted 10 January 2013 - 08:22 PM

I never found a real life anti-formula person shrug.gif No one actually ever asked me why I was feeding my kid what I was feeding them. It's a really theoretical thing for me.

No one actually cared enough to ask.

#7 Mousky

Posted 10 January 2013 - 08:23 PM

QUOTE (charlottesmum04 @ 10/01/2013, 09:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Why should i have to justify it to strangers who seem to think its their business why I am FF?



You don't original.gif

#8 TheSmithFamily

Posted 10 January 2013 - 08:25 PM

When my first child was born his brain was damaged and he had no suck reflex, he was tube fed and then bottle fed. I got all the questions and judgments etc.

I never ever took for granted the beautiful BF relationship I was able to have with my next two kids. I had seen and been on the other side and was grateful for some normality.

Great news you found some food that works best for you and your baby xx

Bron

#9 axiomae

Posted 10 January 2013 - 08:25 PM

Ugh that article was horrid. Breastfeeding is hard work. Formula feeding is hard work. Breast is best but a starving baby is worse. People need to worry about themselves and their own babies rather than worry what everyone else is doing. You don't need to justify anything. I mix feed (for genuine low supply) and it just s**ts me to tears when people roll their eyes when I top up with formula. Would you rather my baby starve? Sigh.

#10 nik_klinger

Posted 10 January 2013 - 08:26 PM

QUOTE (Chief Pancake Make @ 10/01/2013, 09:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
OK I only got through half of that because it was too bl&&dy long and I wanted to punch the author.

Its the same as the vaginal birth vs CS, drug free vs epidural  - as long as you have a happy healthy baby at the end who F%^&^g cares - its nobodies business but the parents.


Amen!

#11 MissM86

Posted 10 January 2013 - 08:29 PM

Surely that blog is tongue in cheek? It is all about taking the p*ss out of the way we parent today. Surely...

#12 whatnamenow

Posted 10 January 2013 - 08:42 PM

QUOTE (MissM86 @ 10/01/2013, 08:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Surely that blog is tongue in cheek? It is all about taking the p*ss out of the way we parent today. Surely...


Unfortunatly not if you read the rest of her blog's.

Maybe Justify was the wrong word.  I havnt come across anyone being nasty to my face ( but certainly looks) but i have realised that while BF no-one ever seemed to think it was their business to ask me why but now I'm FF strangers seem to want to strike up a conversation about my choice.  I guess thats more what i was asking.  Why do strangers seem to think that its ok to do that?

#13 ladyp

Posted 10 January 2013 - 08:44 PM

I have read that blog post before. It is my understanding that FF for medical reasons isn't making an excuse.

I actually read it at 5 am one morning after getting up every couple of hours to feed my 5 mth old. I was exhausted and posted it on FB because I could relate to what the author was saying. My baby is now 11 mths and still doesn't sleep and feeds every couple of hours day and night.

I think the author is too harsh with her words but I do understand her point. Breastfeeding can be hardwork as no one else can do it but you. My husband can't bf, no my babies never took a bottle and yes I tried. I have had two tongue tied babies and it was extremely hard but with expressing and taking medication I was able to keep bf.  I had DD tongue cut at 12 weeks and DS was 8 days.

It really isn't anyone's business how you feed your child. However the blog post does touch a nerve and does create emotion, but it is how you feel about your choices that will dictate how you respond.

After BF 4 babies I can say my experiences were hardwork and for some people it isn't.


#14 Starrydawn

Posted 10 January 2013 - 08:52 PM

The author should get the stick out her superior ass. Why does she care how others feed their baby. Own her own issues instead of projecting.

She BF and I FF big friggen deal. Who cares.

I don't justify or explain as it's nothing to justify.





#15 JapNFeral

Posted 10 January 2013 - 08:58 PM

I don't think anyone should justify. I comp fed No1 & 2.

FF is baby food. Simple.



#16 Angelot

Posted 10 January 2013 - 08:58 PM

Frankly, I think that blog post is downright dangerous.  Way to push at-risk mothers closer to the edge!

QUOTE (charlottesmum04 @ 10/01/2013, 09:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
And last of all why out of all of those things do i care what some stranger in a parenting room thinks of me?


We all care what people think of us - that's perfectly normal, especially when it's something about which we already feel vulnerable.  I'm sorry you're having a difficult time in your interactions with others.

QUOTE (Madam Plum @ 10/01/2013, 09:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I have never once received negative comments etc due to formula feeding. Where are all these critical people you hear about? There are always stories being told but I have never come across the negativity.


Well, I have.  Over and over again, irl, but not least here on EB!  I remember one PP commenting she'd have an intravenous drip put in her baby before giving formula, which left me feeling quite ill.  So, yeah, it's there!

Incidentally, ladyp, what gets me upset is not how I feel about my choices, but how I feel about having my circumstances and the reasons for those choices dismissed as "excuses."

#17 FeralProudSwahili

Posted 10 January 2013 - 09:03 PM

Look, breast is best, ALWAYS. To offer anything other than breastmilk is pure negligence and warrants a DOCS notification.

Happy, OP?

#18 JustBeige

Posted 10 January 2013 - 09:11 PM

I was the last in our social circle to have my babies and I remembered how some of my friends got horrid comments about BF/FF their kids.

When I finally had my first one and was FF, before I took the baby out the first few times,  I actually used to practise saying out loud "eff off".   I also practised "who are you that I need to talk about this too?"  and "I dont know you. Go away now".     All these made me feel like I could handle any of the snark my friends used to get.

I never ever got to use them though.  

I only ever got one "how is she feeding?" about my 7mths old.   I genuinely thought the person meant actual food as DD was eating anything that wasnt nailed down by this stage.   I looked at her like she was stupid, said "Fine thank you" , did the 'polite' smile and walked away.

I also have no problem being rude to people who are rude to me first.


OP, I think you (and every new mum) should actively decide what they will and wont talk about and stick to it.   Even a simple, "thanks for asking, but we dont discuss our choices with strangers/anyone" *rinse and repeat* will work too.

I think it shows that you are confident in your decision(s) and that is the most important thing imo.

Edited by JustBeige, 10 January 2013 - 09:14 PM.


#19 Feral timtam

Posted 10 January 2013 - 09:12 PM

QUOTE (Madam Plum @ 10/01/2013, 08:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I have never once received negative comments etc due to formula feeding. Where are all these critical people you hear about? There are always stories being told but I have never come across the negativity.


Umm, that would be me.

Not as much now, I've been on the other side of the fence now thanks to DD being a high demand baby and my deciding that being able to palm her off on someone else so I could get some rest was more important than my moral superiority.
Before she came onto the scene I was an absolute patronising cow to formula feeders. I was that smugly superior breastfeeding cow that formula feeding mothers dread meeting in parents room. I still am to a certain extent although MIL says I have mellowed a lot. Although she's a biased, lying cow and I don't 100% trust anything that comes out of her mouth.

#20 Guest_Dinah_Harris_*

Posted 10 January 2013 - 09:15 PM

Although nobody actually said anything to me, I did have a few glares thrown my way, particularly when FF'ing DD2 as a newborn.
Had they said anything, I'd have been happy to bore them to tears with a hour long discussion of my DD2's health problems.
Instead....just instant judgement.  Often what happens on EB, incidentally.
But whatever.  Only I, my family and my friends understand the constant paediatrician appointments, physio appointments, hospitalisations and medications my DD2 has endured.  It took me quite a while to come to a place where I no longer care what most people think.  The opinions I hold dear are the people I love and who love me, who know the full story and will speak with love and respect, as I would to them.

#21 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 10 January 2013 - 09:20 PM

My breast feeding journey with DS has been in easy physically, but now that he is 15 months old and still fed around the clock, I am fed up with it. I hate how it's impossible to wean him and how only boob comforts him.

Next baby I'll be comp feeding from early on especially if DS is still feeding every 30 seconds like he is now. I don't give a sh*t what other people think.

#22 JapNFeral

Posted 10 January 2013 - 09:23 PM

QUOTE (Madame Catty @ 10/01/2013, 10:05 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I understand the author's frustrations but think her time could have been better spent clearing up b'feeding myths rather than getting FF'ing mums off-side.

Question is why the blog author needs to feel anything at all about what other women choose to do?

It sounds like she has a rather rigid code of mothering behaviours that she likes to apply to everyone else.

#23 Rach_V

Posted 10 January 2013 - 09:28 PM

Today I gave up trying to continue to breastfeed my 10 week old and wish I hadn't read that blog. I'm feeling guilty enough, now I feel truly awful   cry1.gif

#24 SeaPrincess

Posted 10 January 2013 - 09:29 PM

QUOTE (Madam Plum @ 10/01/2013, 06:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I have never once received negative comments etc due to formula feeding. Where are all these critical people you hear about? There are always stories being told but I have never come across the negativity.

Everywhere.  They start the brainwashing when you're pregnant - ante-natal classes telling you that in addition to the actual health and nutritional benefits, that BF babies have higher IQ's.  I came out of our ante-natal classes absolutely steaming and had a good rant to DH about how it was unfair on women who, for whatever reason, can't or don't BF, yet I still wept through my first baby's first bottle because I felt like such a failure. When I finally accepted (after 5 torturous months) that BF wasn't going to work for us, I actually started to enjoy feeding him.

#25 ladyp

Posted 10 January 2013 - 09:32 PM

QUOTE
I remember one PP commenting she'd have an intravenous drip put in her baby before giving formula, which left me feeling quite ill. So, yeah, it's there!


3 out of 4 of my babies were on iv drips instead of formula because they had very low sugars, I am a type one diabetic and my babies will always be born with low sugars. They were taken to SCN. I was told by a specialist before I had to children not to give my children formula if possible. I also have coeliac disease, and told the same thing. So just like mums who FF for health issues I BF only for health issues. I did express while pg with baby 3 and she had to have a drip anyway, as well as be tube fed my expressed milk. I was very lucky and my 4th pg was much better, the only one I didn't have HG with. DS sugars weren't as low when he was born, I also expressed and took 80 Mls into hospital with me. He was in my room with me and never needed to go to scn, my expressed milk made that possible. All my babies came early, the last 3 were 36 weeks.  I know some people would have just ff their new borns but I made the choice not to. It is my baby my choice.  

Honestly how you feed your child is no ones business but yours.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

How I learnt to relax about routines

After many routine-led, tough years, we've realised that being parenting isn't about being perfect. It isn't about following a schedule to a T.

Should you have a third child or not?

I thought our family had been complete with our two boys. I had no idea how much I needed my daughter until she was here.

Helping a toddler embrace an adopted sibling

A single parent by choice, I am preparing to adopt a second baby from Morocco. And I face a special challenge.

When pregnancy messes with your self-esteem

Pregnancy doesn't make all women feel beautiful. It certainly doesn't raise every woman's self-esteem.

Join us in The BIG nappy change

Introducing the new Coles Little Explorer Nappies! You can confidently rely on Coles Little Explorer nappies at each stage of your child's growth, so take the Big Nappy Change and try new Coles Little Explorer nappies for yourself!

Robbie Williams live tweets wife's labour

And the award for most patient woman in labour goes to ... Robbie Williams' wife, Ayda Field.

Vaccine ignorance is deadly and contagious

In the absence of credible, strong political leadership, paranoia about disease can go viral.

Parenting differently based on birth order

All children have unique personalities, but keeping birth order in mind could help when parenting.

How to get rid of the mum guilt

Motherhood and guilt seem to go hand in hand, but there are ways to focus

Paid parental leave scheme grinds to a halt

The future of Prime Minister Tony Abbott's paid parental leave scheme appears to be up in the air, despite the fact it is due to begin in less than nine months.

The devastation of foetal alcohol spectrum disorders

No one's sure how many Australians are affected by foetal alcohol spectrum disorders, but the consequences for those who are can be devastating.

The pros and cons of finding out the sex of your unborn baby

It’s often one of the biggest choices parents make during the course of their pregnancy; to find out, or not to find out, the sex of their baby before it’s born.

Toddler's awesome dress up month

Two-year-old Willow and her photographer mum, Gina Lee, made October "Dress Up Willow Month". She posted photos of Willow's costumes on her Instagram account, and her creative takes on popular culture are simply adorable.

Childhood around the world

It can be easy to assume our ideas around childhood are universal, but they are particular to where we live, as these practices show.

Best picks for baby and toddler shoes

Here's a great selection of footwear from pre-walker to walker ensuring comfort and style for growing feet.

I lost my wife and daughters to Ebola - then it came for my son

Sunday, September 21, is a day I will never forget.

The 'yucky' illness that took over my life

I have a chronic illness nobody likes to discuss. It involves toilet talk, and probably caused my miscarriage. But it needs to be talked about.

Prenatal testing: the facts

Prenatal testing is done to check if a baby has certain medical conditions before birth. Here is some important information about what the tests are for and the risks involved.

5 things to do with your baby?s old clothes

Did you think your only option for your baby?s old clothes was to pack them away or give them to the Salvos? Think again.

Why it's possible to not realise you're pregnant until the baby arrives

After hearing about 'surprise babies' born to mums who didn't know they were pregnant, it's common to ask "how did she not realise?" But experts say it's entirely possible for it to happen.

'My miracle is finally here'

How has the world continued on its pace when mine has been altered so drastically?

Dairy can help older women fall pregnant: study

Ice cream may be the ultimate comfort food, but a study suggests it could also help older women to have children.

Megan Gale goes topless for 'sexiest people' cover

Six months after a heavily pregnant Megan Gale posed nude for Marie Claire, the glowing new mum has gone topless for the cover of another magazine.

A new perspective on life from living with two diseases

A mother shares her personal story about the difficulty of living with two conditions, one of which stops her from being able to see her daughter's face.

Warning about Children's Panadol dosage

The Therapeutic Goods Administration has issued a safety advisory warning parents about confusion when using the dosing syringe supplied with Children's Panadol.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Take 'The Coles Big Nappy Change' Challenge

You could become part of our Test Drive team and win one of 200 packs of Coles Little Explorer Nappies as part of our 5-day challenge.

Win 1 of 5 Canon Powershot D30 cameras

Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!

16 parenting truths you won't find in the baby books

I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.

Best and worst potty party cakes

It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.

7 tips for a financially festive Christmas

Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Great birthday party buys from Etsy

Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.

Join us in The BIG nappy change

Introducing the new Coles Little Explorer Nappies! You can confidently rely on Coles Little Explorer nappies at each stage of your child's growth, so take the Big Nappy Change and try new Coles Little Explorer nappies for yourself!

Creative storage ideas for the kids' rooms

Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.

Weird trend

Couple has five babies in 14 months

Julie and David Grygla weren't sure they'd ever have kids - but their dreams have now well and truly come true.

To the mum in the doctor's waiting room

Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.

10 space-saving nursery ideas

Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.

 

What's in a name?

Baby Names

Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.