Jump to content

Middle of the Night Tantrums
And some other stuff....


  • Please log in to reply
4 replies to this topic

#1 Rumply

Posted 10 January 2013 - 08:21 AM

Hi people, I am sure this is going to be similar to other posts I have read about this, but maybe with a bit more of an individual spin.

Like most people, I am having some trouble with my toddler.... in particular sleeping and not wanting daddy.

DS is in day care full time, has just gone back this week, so I understand he is out of sorts with his routine etc still. However, this stuff has progressively been getting worse for a few months.

I also have a 5 month old baby, so I assume some of this is because he wants attention.

So, the issues are:

- Is really hard to get into bed at night. We have always gone to bed at 8, but the process has now been pushed out to 9 and he generally is asleep by 9:30. He is resisting his naps at day care, but he really needs to have them too. (We thought it might be because he was scared of the dark, so recently added a lamp, but that makes it easier for him to play for longer).

- During the night he is waking 3 - 4 times, mainly looking for his dummy. He had gotten to a point where he could just find it again and go back to sleep. Now he is waking up and screaming and crying. He wont listen and wont take comfort from DH (who has been the one to go into him for the past 12 months - we are currently trying DH sleeping on a mattress on the floor again, but he was told to leave last night).

- During the night waking, he is asking for me. We have been avoiding me going in to him, but this seems to upset him more. I wonder if he is thinking that daddy is keeping mummy from him and this is why he is getting upset with DH?? But we don't want to give in to him, as we have told him that mummy is asleep and don't want him to think if he chucks a tanty then I will come.

There are other typical behavioural issues going on too... but I think I have bored you all enough now. If you have read this far, thank you. As always, your input is really appreciated!!





#2 Genabee

Posted 10 January 2013 - 08:43 AM

We've had similar issues with our now 19 month old.

She got so bad, she was purposely banging her head on her cot (and she would be black and bruised the next day) and we ended up having her sleep in her port cot until we worked through it.

She would wake several times a night and just scream - she just wanted to be held or to get up and play. She would bite, pinch, scratch, hit....

While the approach I used isn't for everyone, it did work for us. I went back to basics - I would ignore her for 10 to 15 minutes or so, then go in and lie her down, pat her until she was quiet, then leave again (never taking her out of the cot and tried not to talk to her at all). Naturally she would repeat her tanty and some nights (especially early on in the process) she would carry on for several hours! It took a good couple of weeks (and several glasses of wine for Mummy!), but basically I just had to keep at it. The minute I changed my approach or gave in to her, we would be right back at square one. The first three nights were the worst, but then it tapered off to two and then just one wake up and then eventually none.

She now goes to bed about 7pm and sleeps through until about 8am. Uninterrupted. And on the rare occasions she does stir, I go back to basics again (after ruling out dirty nappy, drink of water or sick etc).

Just a thought - I imagine he might be feeling a bit out of sorts with you and the new baby? Do you have any time in the day (maybe just before bed, or first thing in the morning) that is just one on one time with him? Maybe it is worth introducing this (whether it is just a bath or story - something that is just for the two of you), so he doesn't feel left out? Maybe he is feeling like he is getting lumped with Daddy because you are too busy with the new baby?


#3 Natttmumm

Posted 10 January 2013 - 03:36 PM

I wasn't sure how old he is but we went through a phase like this with DD2 just before turning 3. We did find out she had sleep apnoea so could have been that too. We found this out later.
What we did was cut the day sleep to 1 hour at lunch time. Bed is 730pm. She plays around for an hour. During the day we talked about what was expected at night and used a rewards chart. We also found TT was related as she often wet the bed but refused a nappy or pull up.
It was a tough 6 months. It's resolved now. She is older but also had her tonsils etc out. Which helped instantly.
We knew something was up with DD as shed been a perfect sleeper from very early on until that phase


#4 noonehere

Posted 10 January 2013 - 03:44 PM

the ownly thing that worked for DD when she was doing the same was to go in settle her say good night and walk out. repeat as soon as she got worked up.
she now crys now and then but either self settles or settles soon as she hears your voice.

#5 Rumply

Posted 10 January 2013 - 04:41 PM

Thanks for the replies.

I try to have dinner done to an extent that I can play with him when he gets home. I generally do the evening routine with him of bath, stories and bed. I lay with him and we chat and I try to get him to relax, but as soon as I leave he is jumping around again. But I do try to give him as much time as I can

Going back to square one might be the best option too...

hmmmmm.





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Win a Mountain Buggy Swift

To celebrate Essential Baby reaching half a million Facebook fans, we have a Mountain Buggy Swift to giveaway to a lucky fan.

Shopping with kids: breaking the pester-power cycle

You're out shopping with your little one and they're incessantly whining that they want a treat. It's easy to say no ... the first time, at least.

eBay jacket may hold clue to murdered girl's identity

A jacket similar to the one found with the remains of a brutally murdered little girl in South Australia has been identified on eBay.

New mum forced back to work early due to paid parental leave 'technicality'

Shelley Parker had to keep driving buses until the date her baby was due and will have to rush back to work at the end of this week after being denied paid parental leave on a "technicality".

Pregnant Amanda Palmer poses naked for book drive

It has to be the most original way ever of promoting a children's book donation day.

The conception dilemma facing many parents today

Some parents who conceived through a sperm donor will be wary of telling the child, while others prefer to deal with it early on. But recent research suggests it makes little difference either way.

The wedding photo the bridesmaid would rather forget

We've probably all seen a passed-out bridesmaid at one wedding or another, but it usually happens towards the end of the night.

Pregnant TV meteorologist takes on haters

Pregnant TV meteorologist Katie Fehlinger has hit back at haters who called her a "sausage in casing".

Honest words from first-time mums

I didn't want to say anything negative to my pregnant friend, but I wish I'd been more honest.

Adorable baby experiences rain for the first time, couldn't be happier

Harper had seen rain from the comfort of indoors before, but had never had the pleasure of being outside and experiencing it first hand.

What it's really like to start a family in your fifties

Many people suppose that it must be much more tiring to have a baby in middle age, but all the mothers in the playground look exhausted, whatever their age.

'Biggest hypocrite ever': Josh Duggar admits to Ashley Madison account

An American reality TV star has been busted with a cheating website account, according to US media.

Long recovery ahead for girl hit by car weeks after baby brother's death

A little girl is more alert and starting to talk after being hit by a car a week ago, but still faces a long recovery.

How to react when a toddler lies

Q: My almost-3-year-old is starting to figure out that he can lie when asked if he ripped the book, threw the food, hit his brother, etc. Totally normal, I know. How do we respond?

The circular experience of a Centrelink client

A mum-to-be experiences the frustration of dealing with Centrelink, myGov and everything in between.

Kelly Clarkson announces live on stage: 'I'm pregnant!'

Singer Kelly Clarkson has announced she is pregnant with her second child during a concert in Los Angeles.

Hack

How to search the leaked Ashley Madison data

At least three sites are republishing Ashley Madison's user data on the public-facing internet.

Mum dances her way through labour

There are a fair few ways to distract yourself and beat pains while in labour, but it's probably a rare woman who chooses her dance her way through it.

'Rest in peace, my little lion': premmie baby Jacob passes away

Baby Jacob, whose photo of him born at just 27 weeks was deemed 'too graphic' for a fundraising site, has died.

Mum killed three young sons 'to help her daughter', prosecutor says

Niall Pilkington's death last summer apparently raised little alarm in Bellefontaine, Ohio. Tragic accidents happen, after all.

Shorter women have shorter pregnancies: study

When a group of researchers studied nearly 3500 mothers and their babies, they noticed a curious pattern.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The worst 20 minutes of my life

Thirty seconds was all it took to turn a shopping trip into my worst nightmare.

Top baby names for England and Wales in 2014

George has overtaken William in the official rankings of most popular British baby names - and Game of Thrones is still having an impact on parents.

Baseball or baby? Dad's tough choice

What's more important, a baby or a baseball? That's a question this dad seems to struggle with.

Childbirth choices: five star or free?

It's not often you hear the words labour and luxury in the same sentence but for some, a 5-star start to parenthood is exactly what they seek. And with a number of private hospitals now offering packages which include a post-birth stay at a sumptuous first class resort, many mums are choosing to recover in style.

'Where did your boobies go, Mummy?' and other soul-destroying comments from kids

Most women carry a smidge of baby weight after giving birth. If you're lucky enough to have an older child in the house, they can keep you on track with your weight loss goals.

Do you read me, baby?

Is it too soon to be reading to my two-month-old son? If not, what should I read?

Minimising sibling rivalry when you've got a baby

Sibling rivalry is an act of competition, but if your children feel involved and special, this type of jealousy will be minimised.

Will studying on maternity leave take you away from your most important job?

I remember when I was trying to decide if I could combine motherhood and furthering my university education.

Win a Pacapod this Father's Day

To celebrate dads and families, we are giving away a Picos Pack from Pacapod Australia filled with a few extra goodies ENTER NOW

Preschooler hit by car shortly after baby brother's death

A mother has had a frantic race to the hospital after her daughter was hit by a car, just four weeks after her infant son died.

Gay couple and Thai surrogate in custody tug-of-war

A six-month-old baby girl is trapped in the Thai capital in a bitter custody wrangle between her Thai surrogate mother and her biological father.

Couple denied IVF over parenting concerns

A mother of six has been denied access to IVF treatment in order to have another child over concerns about her parenting skills.

The book that promises to put your children to sleep

Exhausted parents from around the world are singing the praises of a "miracle" book which promises to put even the most restless child to sleep in just minutes.

5 things every parent who feels guilty needs to know

Parenthood can make you feel bad, but you're not alone.

Royals criticise 'dangerous' attempts to photograph Prince George

The British royal family criticized paparazzi on Friday for what it called their increasingly dangerous attempts to photograph young Prince George.

'No jab, no play' rule to cover Victorian kindergartens and childcare centres

"Anti-vaxxers" face not being able to send their children to childcare centres or kindergarten if they refuse to have them immunised.

15,000 birthing kits on their way to developing countries

Giving birth in a hospital surrounded by medical experts is tough enough, but some women deliver babies without a clean sheet to lie on.

Photo of premmie 'too graphic', fundraising site says

When their son Jacob was born at just 27 weeks, Christina and Jeff Hinks were thrown into an uncertain world.

The latest Bugaboo collections: cool chevron and runner prams

Bugaboo sure likes to keep things fresh, and with the Australian spring/summer season coming up, there are two new Bugaboo pram releases.

Making room for two in the bed

Mum's room or their own room? Cot or bassinets? Deciding where twins will sleep can be tricky.

 

FREE TICKET

See Hi-5 LIVE in Sydney!

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.