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Hoping for the best

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#1 lovepink

Posted 09 January 2013 - 09:30 PM

We are Ttc #1 and this is our first month of trying. Dh and I have had sex every day since my period finished and I should be ovulating this week. We will keep having sex until the day before my period is due. We want a baby and pregnancy so badly ... Im just really really hoping this is it. I know people say it takes time but I really want this to happen now for us. Im becoming very impatient already and really we've just started - i just want to know or not if its happening.

Sorry, maybe this should of been in venting? Just needed to say how O feel.

#2 TinyTeddys

Posted 09 January 2013 - 09:40 PM

Good luck!!

You might find if you BD that much you'll be exhausted. Once you have ovulated the egg will only be alive for two-ish days so there is no point to keep BDing (unless for fun  wink.gif )
Are you temping as well?

Edited by TinyTeddys, 09 January 2013 - 09:41 PM.

#3 lovepink

Posted 09 January 2013 - 09:44 PM

hi thanks for replying original.gif

We wanted to take a more relaxed approach to it to start with so jot temping or any of that - just have a rough idea when ovulation is and then making sure we have sex around then!

#4 Rosiebird

Posted 09 January 2013 - 09:51 PM

That's your idea of a relaxed approach!! You must have more energy than me!

#5 domestically~challenged

Posted 09 January 2013 - 09:56 PM

Going by your OP I think the relaxed approach is already out the window laughing2.gif

Good luck.

#6 HappyLife

Posted 09 January 2013 - 10:07 PM

Whoa, you & DH must have oodles of energy! I'd probably suggest cutting back to every second day, to avoid exhaustion, and to give spermies time to replenish properly. But saying that, we BD'd each of the four days leading up to o this month!    

As tiny teddies said, not much point in BD after O, but as you're not testing or temping (I'm not either), then maybe if you think you may have O'd, BD every second day before AF in case you were wrong. Sperm can live inside you up to 5 days in the right conditions, so every 2nd day is still good original.gif

I'd suggest tracking some symptoms either in a phone app, or with a fertility friend account (free), in case this isn't your month, so you can get to know the signs & improve chances in following months. It also gives you something else to focus on!

Good luck!

#7 Zanbam

Posted 10 January 2013 - 01:14 PM

Good luck LovePink - this is our first cycle of trying as well and while my DH and I don't have your stamina I am also really hoping for a golden eagle (is that even a term???) but am "taking a relaxed approach". biggrin.gif

#8 Gemcat

Posted 10 January 2013 - 07:07 PM

QUOTE (Zanbam @ 10/01/2013, 02:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
... I am also really hoping for a golden eagle (is that even a term???)

If it's not, it should be. I love it! Sadly, I didn't get one but FX for you.

#9 lovepink

Posted 24 January 2013 - 09:01 PM

AF came today sad.gif Wasnt due until Saturday. I feel very disappointed. We had sex on all the important days and no success sad.gif I feel like theres something wrong with me, even though it was our first go at ttc #1. How do people seem to fall prehnant accidentally quite commonly? Sorry for this vent. Just need to say how Im feeling sad.gif

#10 madammuck

Posted 24 January 2013 - 09:59 PM

Oh OP, I'm so sorry this month didn't work out for you. It's so normal to be devastated when AF arrives, but it's also important for you to keep your chin up and stay positive, this could be a tricky journey for you if you don't.

It's funny, you always hear of people conceiving after their first month of trying, or conceiving having not tried at all, but you never hear of people who conceived after trying for an average amount of time like 6 months or more. These stories are far less interesting! But also a much better representation of a realistic situation.

Have you been to chat with a GP yet? It sounds like you're feeling like the situation is a bit out of your control. To be fair, there's not much in life that's any more out of your control than TTC, but I found talking to a GP and really finding out as much info as possible about the whole process helped me to feel less helpless.

Good luck, and please do keep looking forward. This is your adventure, don't base it on anyone else's.

#11 lovepink

Posted 24 January 2013 - 10:03 PM

Thanks so much madammuck, your reply really means a lot to me.

True what you say about the stories you hear ... I will try and keep that in mind.

#12 Bwok~Bwok

Posted 25 January 2013 - 09:06 AM

Ok you need to take a step back and breathe... You are putting too much pressure on yourself (and your DH).

I think you have been focusing too much on those that have fallen pg first go and not looking at the 'real' picture where it can take a few months to fall pg.

With the amount of pressure you are putting on yourself in wanting it now - you will be a mess in few months. The joy of being intimate with your DH in the hope of having a baby should be where you are atm.

But if you keep up the amount of Bd'ing you have been doing, he will also start to feel the pressure - also you aren't allowing the sperm to get a good build up. Ideally Bd'ing should happen around 36 to 48 hours around O.

Go easy on yourself and your DH and 'enjoy' it - because when it starts feeling like a 'chore', it's not nice!

Edited by Bwok~Bwok, 25 January 2013 - 09:07 AM.

#13 Iliketoflounce

Posted 25 January 2013 - 09:21 AM

QUOTE (Bwok~Bwok @ 25/01/2013, 09:06 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Ok you need to take a step back and breathe... You are putting too much pressure on yourself (and your DH).

I think you have been focusing too much on those that have fallen pg first go and not looking at the 'real' picture where it can take a few months to fall pg.

With the amount of pressure you are putting on yourself in wanting it now - you will be a mess in few months. The joy of being intimate with your DH in the hope of having a baby should be where you are atm.

But if you keep up the amount of Bd'ing you have been doing, he will also start to feel the pressure - also you aren't allowing the sperm to get a good build up. Ideally Bd'ing should happen around 36 to 48 hours around O.

Go easy on yourself and your DH and 'enjoy' it - because when it starts feeling like a 'chore', it's not nice!

This ^

Op Dh and I have been ttc #1 for 19 months trust me you are putting a strain on your self and your DH

#14 Pretty Wings

Posted 25 January 2013 - 10:50 AM

Lovepink - sorry it did not happen for you this month and I completely understand. Some people may say you are trying to hard or not to put too much pressure on yourself - I got those comments also and they drove me insane because I kept thinking "this is something that I really want and I'm trying my best to relax and not think about it too much .. what else can I do?!".

I'm sharing my story with you because I hope it may help you.  I'm not an expert and sorry if TMI at times but I'm hoping I might offer some advice to you based on what happened with me.

I also did pretty much the same thing as yourself on our first month of trying - I knew roughly the days that I was ovulating.  And we had sex every day as soon as my period finished for about a good 2 or 2 and a half weeks.  And not only were we having sex every day but I thought "the more sperm that stays in there longer the better!" so i would make sure that every single day after sex I would lay there and not move for a while.  We were having sex every day at night time just before we slept (as I had a stupid theory that if I slept straight after sex it would give the sperm a good 7 hours at least to do some swimming without leaking out).  And also every single time afterward I would put my legs straight up in the air for a good 20 minutes.  My partner thought I was crazy.  I felt like I was giving myself the best shot at getting preggos.

So I thought there was NO WAY that I couldn't be pregnant right (assuming everything was ok with the both of us), as I knew for sure that since we had been having sex every day and every day around my ovulation time (plus my legs up in the air theory) so how could I not get pregnant?!  Not possible!  (Assuming we were both medically fine).
Well I didn't get pregnant that first month.  It didn't make sense to me, and I got really upset also.  I know some people try for years but I also know people who get pregnant straight away - so I thought for sure something was wrong with me.  It must have been.  I am in my 30's and given my age, I told myself I would give it 6 months of trying and after 6 months I would ask for some tests from my GP.  

After the first month of trying and having sex every day I was exhausted.  And to be honest I really really was not enjoying the sex at all.  So the second month of trying and by this point thinking that i wouldn't get pregnant cause something was wrong with me I decided no more pressure sex every day - instead I'd be mindful around ovulation time ,if it was possible, we'd have sex every second day or so.

And we did, probably every second day i would say - and at completely random times, whenever we wanted... Sometimes in the morning, sometimes late arvo straight after work when we got home and sometimes at night.  But every single time we did it I wanted to do it, and i enjoyed it.  And sorry if TMI but every time we did I also orgasmed.  I didn't lay there with my legs up in the air for an hour afterward like a crazy person.  Most times I lovingly hugged my partner for a couple minutes afterward then got up and went about my day.

Well that second month I did get pregnant.  It breaks my heart to say that that pregnancy did not stick, but my point is that I got pregnant when I enjoyed the sex with my partner.

My advice is the next time you try - maybe try every second day.  While you may think by doing it every day will give you the best shot, in my experience that is not necessarily true.   And also try it at different times of the day (spice it up a bit), and personally I believe that by having an orgasm yourself it also helps the little guys swim a bit.

I'm not an expert but just sharing what worked for me.  I'm not going to tell you to stop thinking about it, and stop trying so hard because I know that's easier said than done.  But I would say to you that if something you are doing on a particular month of trying is not working then try something different.  

Good luck original.gif

#15 ~polly~

Posted 25 January 2013 - 11:15 AM

OP please listen to bwok and minnie. I know it's easy to get obsessed with ttc but too much pressure won't help you or your DH.

I think ppl love to tell stories about falling pg first try and sometimes I wonder if they are telling the whole truth unsure.gif  I know if I get pg ppl will be surprised when I announce it and I'll be telling them the truth. Yes it was planned, it took us a while to conceive and I had mc. But right now I'm pretending I'm not interested in babies for a couple of years cos I don't need the extra pressure.

Take care OP. Please come and join ttc#1 group. You will learn a lot from the ladies and it will give you a more realistic idea on ttc.

#16 SuburbnJournalista

Posted 25 January 2013 - 11:38 AM

Sorry OP your approach sounds the exact opposite of relaxed or realistic.

#17 spokie

Posted 25 January 2013 - 11:51 AM

I know exactly how your feeling my dh and I not long been trying 2nd cycle fell pregnant however lost at 7 weeks, the second month was when I actually started charting and bam golden eagle..

now we are trying again and find that setting 6 monthly goals give you a little relief everytime AF hits each month.. of course we are hoping sooner rather than later but wanting it right now is unrealistic.. at least by charting you can look and say right this is my time to go go go and i'll check in 2 weeks if nothing lets go again next month.

my doctor told me just to enjoy and do it everyday which we did was exhausting until the second month where I knew more about when my O time was.

I have read a few place that by charting inc temps this will increase your chances of falling pregnant within 6 months of trying...

Good luck.... just relax

#18 lovepink

Posted 27 January 2013 - 08:21 AM

Newday - thank you for sharing your story. I really can relate to it and It makes me feel hopeful.

Thank you everyone for your responses, I really appreciate it x

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