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13mth old girl Screams
Communicating, angry and clingy

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#1 babyonthebrain

Posted 09 January 2013 - 06:19 PM

So my DD13mths is my second child I have a DS who is 4yrs old.

My DD has always been demanding and seems to go through each development stage at full throttle. She certainly is a mummas girl and even through separation anxiety is there at times she mostly wants me to hold her, entertain her or give her my time. Anyhow I have dealt with that up and down over the last year the best I can.

This new phase has taken it to a new level of stress and frustration for me. She now screams high pitch non stop all day!!!! I know she is communicating with us but I am going CRAZY!!! I can't discipline her, can't reason with her, can't get her to stop by any means...she even just screams, looks at me when I say no, then screams again.  I also know she is screaming at my 4yr old who is playing with her and she doesn't want to share her toys etc.  I end up yelling at him all day just to leave her alone. This is the sad thing as it is not really his fault. He wants to play with her and yes a times is being a annoying big brother. But seriously she just screams for everything.... When she wants something she can't have, sharing toys, getting nappy changed, out the bath, waking up a 0530, getting in car, out the car, in the pram. The list goes on.

Did anyone else go through this? My sister had similar issues with her daughter and said by 15mthe got better.  Her ears are also damaged from the screaming.

I am losing it. I am MAD, frustrated and over it!!!!! HELP!!!!!

#2 Kittymeow74

Posted 09 January 2013 - 06:29 PM

My 15 month old DS is going through the same as your DD. I could have easily written the exact same post as yours. I will be looking at the replies and hopefully it's just an age thing that they eventually get over.

#3 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 09 January 2013 - 06:45 PM

QUOTE (Rawr @ 09/01/2013, 07:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It's because of frustration because they can't just come out and say what they want or how they feel.

Yes same here (15 mo).  

I've been trying the technique of offering small choices, like - nappy time, walk to your room or mummy carry you?   Blue nappy or Santa nappy?  This toy or that toy?   Breakfast time, toast or porridge?     And counting down (in a fun way).  Out of the bath - five, four, three, two one yay out of the bath!  

Seems to help.

#4 Escapin

Posted 09 January 2013 - 06:48 PM

My mum babysat DD for 3 hours and by the time I came home, she was saying please instead of screaming. No idea what mum did though, not sure I want to know!! Maybe I could rent Mum out though? Make some extra cash for the holidays?

#5 babyonthebrain

Posted 09 January 2013 - 07:02 PM

I know she is trying to communicate via screaming because she can't talk but it is a form of torture.  

Thank you for talking through options and suggestions. I start my day like this but end it with yelling and giving no options. Remembering I have a 4yr old at home who also wants ( deserves) my attention as well.

So I guess I am not looking for the answer as to why she screams. More how you cope, strategies, hope it subsides  soon etc.

#6 Isolabella

Posted 09 January 2013 - 07:06 PM

DD has a lovely high pitch scream. She still uses it at 3yrs (although less often).

Neither of my boys did that.

#7 Ridcully

Posted 09 January 2013 - 07:14 PM

Baby sign language. Well worth it. You don't need to buy anything just use the online auslan dictionary and make some signs up.

Start with food and drink and other basic needs.

#8 Madnesscraves

Posted 09 January 2013 - 07:19 PM

QUOTE (Rawr @ 09/01/2013, 08:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It won't happen overnight, as she gets more language it'll get easier. So, you can work on ways to get her to communicate, either by pointing, or learning to translate  what words she uses. Eg, my youngest when she was 18 months, would scream for her cup. So, as an example, I'd calmly say, 'oh, do you want your CUP? Can you say cup?' She would then say, 'cuck', and that became her word. Then just practice that with each issue.

Lots of talking throughout the day, reading etc, all the usual stuff parents do to encourage vocabulary. Even when they're young, I'd say, 'can you say it nicely without screaming?' or in her nice voice, or whatever

This. My DD did this after 12 months and I started doing above. Pointed, repeated, made her work for object she wanted. Works a treat.

#9 babyonthebrain

Posted 09 January 2013 - 07:20 PM

You are right RAWR.  I do do these things to encourage her to communicate effectively and help her develop. But she is also a monkey and when I do explain eg. Can you say please, or off. She stops, stares then screams just as loud.

I know it ultimately comes down to me a my patience as she is being a toddler ( though very different to my son) and I know why she does it I just crack when it is all day long!!!!

#10 KC1979

Posted 09 January 2013 - 07:50 PM

I fully sympathise with you! My son went through this too. He is now nearly 18months and it has stopped thankfully. I think it was worst between 12m and 16m. He also seemed  to scream all day long, and the checkout operators at our local supermarket would comment that they always knew when we were in  blush.gif  Even though he still isn't really talking the screaming has pretty much disappeared. Its only when he's tired or not feeling well that he does it. So although i don't have any advice, it should pass  

edited: to take out inappropriate smiley face, stupid phone

Edited by KC1979, 09 January 2013 - 07:54 PM.

#11 Bigfatbum

Posted 21 January 2013 - 10:38 PM

So good to read this. All mine does is angry crying - all day long. Worse when we are with other people. I know I will survive - child number 2 was similar- but it's just good to know I'm not alone!

#12 jindy poss

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:14 PM

Hi OP, my DS is 20mo now and is still screaming, I hope it doesn't last this long for you cause I am slowly going insane! Everyone says it will stop when he starts talking but that hasn't happened yet, he is going to get a speech assessment tomorrow. I second the supermarket thing, all the staff say 'oh DS is here again', funny for them not for me. Anyway I wish you good luck, if you stumble across a miracle could you please share it!!

#13 ~ky~

Posted 25 January 2013 - 03:49 AM

My 12mo DD is known as "Shouty, the littlest dwarf" (youngest of 7 babies, hence the dwarf reference). She absolutely nuts if she is told no, shouts angrily at her top of her lungs when she wakes up and has a high pitched squeal that could break glass!

The squeal isn't too much of a hassle at the moment as we play a game with her whereby we say "shush" and put our fingers to our lips. She tries to imitate and just ends up blowing out on her finger repeatedly - it is mega cute! However, she most definitely will not accept anyone saying no to her. Sadly, I think getting through  this will take time and development of communication skills on her behalf.

#14 PurpleNess

Posted 05 February 2013 - 12:57 PM

Yep I'm going through this with my 13 month old DS - he's challenging me at every turn at the moment, like the devil has taken him lol.

I've been reading Sheyne Rowley's book  Dream Baby & she has some great info on communicating with babies at this age & managing the tantrums, it's taking time but I'm seeing some improvement - early days for us though. They don't understand  no unfortunately & this is really hard! DS thinks putting his foot up on his tray is funny & laughs at me when I move it & say no. I've found that by talking to him & saying feet don't belong on the table, foot down for mummy is getting a much better response but he's still not happy about it - 1 day at a time. He YELLS at me when not happy, oh such fun :-)

Good luck I hope this phase passes, I tell people we are having the terrible 2's a year early lol

#15 Feral_Pooks

Posted 05 February 2013 - 01:22 PM

DS has been like this for the last month or so. Not really screaming, more a grunting angry yell. He is 1 in a couple of weeks.

I'm trying to teach him to indicate his needs in a different way. It's hard, he has only just started doing things like lifting his arms to be picked up. He doesn't point or reach or anything. Mostly by having a routine, I know when he is hungry or thirsty or whatever.

I've started to use the approach of getting down on his level on giving him a hug whenever he gets like that. We might both be frustrated but at least he knows I'm there for him. I then try to redirect him to an activity, or having a drink of water, or whatever.

It's tough, OP. I don't have any answers, I'm just experimenting myself, but you have my sympathy.

#16 treefalls

Posted 21 February 2013 - 08:42 PM

Exactly the same at my place (except my son is 3). I am absolutely at the point where I can't stand it any more. I mean, what would we do if our older child walked around with a whistle, blowing it in our ear all day and didn't understand "no" and you couldn't confiscate the whistle!!! Maddening!! Torturous!!! ... Aaarrrghhh!!!!!

Okay, now I feel better wink.gif ..... a bit.

I've been presuming it's frustration with language (or lack thereof) and have definitely started stepping up the slow word repetition etc. It's so bizarre because my son was so quick with his language acquisition so it baffles me that she seems to prefer this mode of communication when everyone around her - even her 3 year old brother -  is speaking confidently and clearly. She makes lots of vocal sounds, but they don't really resemble words. She points at things and says, "Gah" mostly, but her consonant sounds include "D" "B" and "M" and she's very chatty. It just doesn't make any sense to me that she prefers the screaming.... and yet, here I am......

What I want to know is: HOW LONG DOES IT LAST?

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