Jump to content

WTF just happened to me?
Alone in hospital post-birth, freaking out a little


  • Please log in to reply
21 replies to this topic

#1 Ella Minnow Pea

Posted 09 January 2013 - 12:09 AM

I don't want to make this too long, i'm writing on my iphone at 1am in my solitary hospital room and am trying to not feel so freaked out by what i just went through.
I'm sure it's far from the worst birth story ever, and both me and baby have escaped with relatively little damage. I'm not 'disappointed' per se, it was just so horribly violent. I'm overtired after 5 days of prelabour, and had to be induced after my waters broke but contractions weren't progressing. I went from 2cm to 10cm in 4 hours (thank god for pethadine) but then had a horribly prolonged period of trying to push what i had been told would be a small sized baby but turned out to be over 9lbs and round the wrong way. Ages of trying to get her out with the vacuum, episiotomy, and then her shoulders got stuck and the obs was pulling her up and down for what seemed forever while the midwives pushed on my belly to try to squeeze her out. And then she wasn't breathing when they got her out, but luckily a bit of oxygen got her going.
The paed said her shoulders don't seem to be damaged. Everyone is telling me i'm a champion. She is too distressed to breastfeed and due to the amount of blood i lost it was decided i should be alone for the night to rest. Luckily she's calmed down and is asleep and will hopefully stay that way in the nursery.
So i'm alone. Too upset to rest. Hooked up to an iv and a catheter. And every time i move it seems i gush more blood. And i feel so disconnected from the good parts of what just happened, my beautiful baby and the look on my dh's face when he looks at her.
I know i will feel better tomorrow as i begin to heal, but i just needed to get this out so i feel a little less alone.

#2 Kafkaesque

Posted 09 January 2013 - 12:16 AM

So sorry your birth wasn't ideal. But congratulations! I can't suggest much but strongly suggest you press the call bell and ask for something to help you sleep.

All the best for coming days with your new baby.

#3 Xiola

Posted 09 January 2013 - 12:19 AM

Oh dear katem666, I hope you're OK.  I can completely relate to your experience having had a very similar experience with my first.  Be gentle with yourself.  I was in shock for a bit afterwards and really struggled to be around people (everyone wanting to see the new baby etc) so make sure you listen to your self and what you need.

Take care.  It really is a traumatic experience to go through when it's like that and it takes time to heal from.

#4 Mummy Em

Posted 09 January 2013 - 12:26 AM

I am so sorry to hear that! If you want to you can ask for your baby to be brought back at any time, don't feel you have to go along with that if you don't feel it is helpful. I had a traumatic birth and I understand that feeling of disconnection with what happened and even from your baby. Connecting with my baby didn't take too long, I was pretty wrapped with her. Processing what had happened took a bit longer. You should be able to get debriefed through the hospital and I highly recommend that you take advantage of that.

#5 GladRags

Posted 09 January 2013 - 12:29 AM

Welcome to the outside world little DD and Congratulations to you and your DH!!!

Katem666 look after yourself, you have been through an ordeal and half.  It is going to take a while to recoup and recover, just make sure you look after yourself and don't do too much.  Just concentrate on you and your brand new bubba, the rest of the world can take care of itself for a while!!!

Play with the iphone for a while then put it away and sleeeeeeepppppp.



#6 FEdeRAL

Posted 09 January 2013 - 12:36 AM

Oh you poor thing.  Maybe just focus on the positives tonight so that you can get some rest? But make sure you find someone to talk to when you are up tomorrow as PP suggested.

And congratulations!

#7 Alina0210

Posted 09 January 2013 - 01:24 AM

Also feel free to contact a post natal Doula in your area, handy to be able to talk to someone who isnt family and someone you can vent too and can understand...

Depending on what state your in, i could forward on names and numbers if you like.

Edited by Alina0210, 09 January 2013 - 01:24 AM.


#8 TTC2013

Posted 09 January 2013 - 01:33 AM

Op I second talking to your midwives/nurses about how your feeling.. It's all well and good for them to send DH home for you to rest but if that's not happening maybe it's time for a plan change. Make sure when the doctors come in (prob in the am) you ask for a debrief.
Congratulations on the birth of DD  original.gif I hope she's back with you very soon

#9 *lightning

Posted 09 January 2013 - 01:46 AM

Congratulations! Doesn't sound like a smooth birth but you did it and now you have a beautiful baby, well done.

I understand that alone feeling when your in hospital and I only relaxed when I got home. If you need to speak with someone buzz and tell a midwife how you feel, they will know how to help you or get in contact with someone you can talk to.

Remember you can ask for your baby back anytime and they will encourage close contact and feeding. I understand how difficult it can be when your baby is a little distressed and won't feed. My DS2 was difficult to feed straight away due to a fast birth, he was shocked.

As your body heals you will start to feel better and If want to sleep but can't, ask for something to help you sleep. Don't suffer through it, rest when you can and enjoy your new baby!

#10 Ella Minnow Pea

Posted 09 January 2013 - 02:28 AM

Thankyou to everyone for the lovely, sensible, sympathetic and helpful replies.
I think i had a bit of a panic attack not long after writing my post, but taking pp's advice i buzzed for a nurse, and just talked to her a bit about how i felt until i calmed down. I'm not sure she fully understood what i wasupset about, but it was still helpful to have someone listen and reassure me that everything's gonna be ok.
I then managed to fall asleepfor a couple of hours, and while i am wide awake again at 3.30am, and keep startling awake 'reliving' a moment of the labour when i do try to get back to sleep, i feel a lot calmer and can't wait to see dd and dh in a few hours. Hopefully i can be moved to a roomwhere dh can stay over, cos he is the person who can calm me down best of anyone and iknow his presense will help me sleep and relax. Will def talk to dr and nurses about that asap.
Thanks again everyone.
Ps omg i had a baby! I HAVE a baby!

#11 Guest_bottle~rocket_*

Posted 09 January 2013 - 02:46 AM

OP, that sounds  like it was very traumatic for you and your baby.  You will need to talk about your experience a lot in the coming days and weeks to process it. It is very important that you feel able to do so, even though you will be very busy caring for your new baby. I agree with PPs about asking to debrief with someone while you are still in hospital.

If you want to see your baby, ask them to bring her to you right now! You don't have to wait. Congratulations and take care.

#12 Lady Lovely Locks

Posted 09 January 2013 - 06:55 AM

Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful baby girl!!

#13 Kay1

Posted 09 January 2013 - 07:18 AM

So glad you're feeling a bit better now. Good suggestions on here, I'm glad you took one of them. Congratulations on your beautiful baby girl and be kind to yourself. xxoo

#14 Jenferal

Posted 09 January 2013 - 07:22 AM

Try to get skin to skin contact with your new daughter to help calm you both down. She knows you by your smell now and it can help with feeding problems as well. Plus it's the most amazing feeling! The midwives should be full of useful advice to help with feeding , try to relax as much as possible when feeding as well.

Congratulations!

I also had a slightly traumatic birth, and I was in shock afterwards. I really wasn't expecting the overwhelming emotions afterwards, and I was flat in bed for 24 hours or so, with 2 PPH and a transfusion. Though on the positive side, it meant my husband had to deal with that first gross meconium poo lol.

As everyone has said, take care of yourself and talk to someone experienced in birth trauma. The worst thing you can do is bottle it all up inside. Talk to anyone you can really, other mothers, us here, anyone supportive as it can help you deal with things.

#15 Mianta

Posted 09 January 2013 - 07:24 AM

Oh you poor thing. I am a midwife and from your description, you did have a traumatic experience. It is ok for you to feel overwhelmed by these events. They are even scary for the midwives and doctors involved.

I would suggest having a chat with the midwife who was looking after during your labour/birth. Get a proper debrief and allow yourself to get your head around everything that happened.

The midwives are right though, you are a champion original.gif

#16 Lyn29

Posted 09 January 2013 - 08:54 AM

QUOTE (katem666 @ 09/01/2013, 03:28 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Ps omg i had a baby! I HAVE a baby!

Wonderful - congratulations!

I hope it's smoother sailing for you from here on in. Enjoy some cuddles with your precious DD and DH. <3


#17 R2B2

Posted 09 January 2013 - 09:05 AM

bbighug.gif and congratulations.

Please talk to someone about how you feel. it is ok to feel that way, but bottling it inside just makes it worse.
try and get as much rest as your body and baby will allow and talk, talk, talk!



#18 harryhoo

Posted 09 January 2013 - 09:11 AM

First of all Congratulations on the arrival of your DD and well done for getting through the labour - no doubt you did a really great job. Your experience sounds similar to mine. DS was born on the Sunday morning and when my DH (who had popped out for dinner) came back on Sunday night I just burts into tears and said ''it wasn't meant to be like this''... I had thought I would be lying back in my hospital bed with DS snuggled on my chest enjoying the blissful first moments of motherhood. Yeah, not so much. The only thing was that I was lying back in my hospital bed... because I couldn't sit up without passing out! I described my birth suite as like a crime scene!! LOL!

But the great thing was that by Tuesday (two days later) I felt soooooo much better - emotionally, mentally and physically. I hope you get to enjoy lots of snuggles soon! And make sure you continue to talk to people about how you're feeling!

Edited by harryhoo, 09 January 2013 - 09:14 AM.


#19 melodypond

Posted 09 January 2013 - 09:25 AM

Congratulations!!  

I understand the WTF just happened feeling!  Some of what I went through was very similar to your experience.

My advice to you is to please rest, I know it is hard to switch off but in retrospect it was going from being absolutely exhausted from prelabour / prolonged labour and pushing stages straight into newborn territory with no chance to catch up and rebuild my energy stores (particularly with a PPH!) that really did me in and made life difficult in the coming months.  I know now that if I had been given the chance to properly look after myself and recharge I would've been feeling much better - physically and mentally, far more quickly.

So rest if you can, make sure your husband helps you out as much as he can while you recover and if you have offers from family and friends to help, take them up.  You will feel so much better for it.

Also, I dont know if this is the 'correct' advice, but for me, not dwelling on the birth and everything that happened to me really helped - it was over and done with, couldn't go back and change it - I accepted that I had a difficult birth, and that I now had a beautiful bub to focus on. I rarely think of it these days but when I do it isn't with the same anger / anxiety that I did when I started.  This may not be the right approach with you though, just sharing what helped for me :-)  

Congratulations again!

#20 BlueEyedBeauties

Posted 09 January 2013 - 05:29 PM

Tell the nurses you want your baby with you.. Tell them you can't rest without her so its pointless them keeping her in the nursery.
Then once you've had some time with her you can see how you're feeling etc.
Don't be afraid to talk to a eons about how you're feeling.. The baby blues and depression can sneak up on you super quick if you're not careful..

Even if you get her for a few hours for cuddles and then they can take her bak when you're ready to sleep.

#21 teenie

Posted 09 January 2013 - 11:17 PM

This:

QUOTE (Mianta @ 09/01/2013, 07:24 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Oh you poor thing. I am a midwife and from your description, you did have a traumatic experience. It is ok for you to feel overwhelmed by these events. They are even scary for the midwives and doctors involved.

I would suggest having a chat with the midwife who was looking after during your labour/birth. Get a proper debrief and allow yourself to get your head around everything that happened.

The midwives are right though, you are a champion original.gif


OP I can't speak for the details of what happened with your delivery, but this is really great advice.  I'm a doctor but I don't work in this exact area.  A medical emergency like this with your baby's shoulder being stuck really is an incredibly traumatic and frightening experience to endure.  As Mianta said it is even scary for the midwives and doctors in those desperate minutes...  Definitely talk to the midwife +\- doctors that looked after you, talk to your husband etc... It is very natural to feel the way you do but a kind and considered explanation of what happened and why etc can go a long way to helping you, and it really does help to debrief and have an outlet for your feelings and understanding for the events etc.

Congratulations on your new baby and so glad she arrived safely for you

Edited by teenie, 09 January 2013 - 11:31 PM.


#22 Meandkids

Posted 10 January 2013 - 09:23 AM

You poor thing.  It sounds like you had a really traumatic experience.

I would suggets talking to the midwives about your feelings around what happened.  Don't let the whole 'you are a champion label' stop you from expressing how traumatic it was for you.  Talk to a few of the midwives on duty who come to look after you.  Debriefing is really important after trauma.  Tell your husband how horrible it was for you.

Hopefully these feelings will pass.  If they don;t, please seek some professional counselling.

Take care.  Get some rest.  Look after yourself.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Trying to speed up the inevitable

As the waiting game of late pregnancy continues, this mum considers a few things that might hurry things up a little.

One month later: where is William Tyrell?

It has been a little over a month since William Tyrell disappeared from his grandmother's home, 33 long sleepless nights for his family as they mourn the absence of their cheeky young boy.

Winter's child less likely to be moody: study

Babies born in the summer are much more likely to suffer from mood swings when they grow up, while those born in the winter are less likely to become irritable adults, scientists claim.

Single mum of two creates award-winning baby app

Suddenly single with a baby and an 11-year-old son, Tara O?Connell developed an app to improve the lives of mothers who were similarly overwhelmed.

Food for thought: looking after yourself as a new mum

As soon as your baby enters the world, everything else takes a back seat - even the necessities of daily life such as eating are severely compromised, right when you need energy the most.

'Grabbable guts' campaign aims to cut toxic fat

The Live Lighter campaign will take people inside the human body to show the internal dangers of being overweight.

The best and worst month of my life

A new mum's first month of motherhood didn't pan out as expected when she lost a family member weeks after her baby's birth.

Facebook and Apple offer to pay female staff to freeze their eggs

Facebook and Apple are hoping to provide women with the freedom to build their careers without the added pressure of having children at or by a certain age.

How a pregnancy contract could work for you and your partner

The idea of making a 'pregnancy contract' with your partner may sound a bit silly at first, but it can help make the transition to parenthood a lot smoother.

Finding a mum-friendly personal trainer

Burping babies vs burpees – yes, new mums and personal trainers live in different worlds. But they can work together - once you find the right match for you and your lifestyle.

Ambulance service under fire: baby seats to go, response times 'worse than ever'

The NSW Ambulance Service is removing child-safety seats from ambulances, while the Victorian service is facing criticism over lengthy response times following the death of a three-year-old.

Alleged baby snatch incident a ?misunderstanding?, say police

Police say that an incident in which a man pulled on a woman?s pram while walking a popular Sydney route late last month was a misunderstanding.

Ebola killed my aunt and is shutting down my country

Three weeks ago, my auntie, a midwife, developed a fever. Sitting here in Sydney basked in Australian sunshine, that shouldn't be big news.

The night my ovary burst

One mum shares her frightening experience and vows to never take her health for granted again.

Is e-reading to your toddler story time or just screen time?

When reading increasingly means swiping pages on a device, and we're advised to read to their children early and often, should parents be turning to e-readers for storytime?

Community mourns inspiring young dad

A young dad who fought a five-year battle with cancer has been remembered for his inspiring legacy at a funeral service attended by hundreds of family and friends this week.

Meningococcal kills Queensland toddler

Public health authorities say the death of a toddler in north Queensland from meningococcal disease highlights the danger the illness poses.

Nicole Kidman: 'I hope every month that I'm pregnant'

Nicole Kidman is hoping to add to her family, but says she's doubtful it will happen.

Recall: Aldi Wooden London Bus play set

Aldi has announced a recall of their popular Wooden London Bus play set.

Great gift ideas for first birthdays

From soft toys to balance bikes, here are some great ideas for first birthday gifts.

Mum learnt she was pregnant hours before giving birth

Kim Walsh arrived at the doctor with abdominal cramps. Hours later, she was cradling the baby experts told her she could never have.

How cancer has made me a better, happier person

I'm a far better person post-cancer than I ever was before. The goal now is to stay around long enough to find out who I can become, and what I can achieve.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

16 parenting truths you won't find in the baby books

I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.

Win 1 of 5 Canon Powershot D30 cameras

Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!

Best and worst potty party cakes

It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.

7 tips for a financially festive Christmas

Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Great birthday party buys from Etsy

Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.

Creative storage ideas for the kids' rooms

Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.

Warnings over child pain relief doses

The Therapeutic Goods Administration has warned parents and carers over a "confusing" pain relief dosage system.

To the mum in the doctor's waiting room

Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.

10 space-saving nursery ideas

Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.

 

What's in a name?

Baby Names

Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.