Jump to content

Surnames WDYT *spin off*


  • Please log in to reply
156 replies to this topic

#1 HerringToMarmalade

Posted 08 January 2013 - 02:11 PM

Spin off from the baby name thread. Like in the thread, I also have a bit of a dodgy surname that is commonly mispronounced as a not so great word. Even as an adult I hate situations where my name is read out in front of other people. My mother kept her maiden name when she married my dad, and if you ask her why she will say she kept it because dad's surname is terrible, why would anyone want it, etc.,  and yet she was happy to give it to her children. I can't understand it, but I'm not sure what I would have done in her position.

So what do you think about surname choice? Would you always give your children their father's name no matter what or would you do something else if you felt it wasn't the right name for your children?

#2 cinnabubble

Posted 08 January 2013 - 02:15 PM

I've never heard an adequate reason for children to automatically get their father's names. Regardless of what the name is.

Edited by cinnabubble, 08 January 2013 - 02:17 PM.


#3 Apageintime

Posted 08 January 2013 - 02:19 PM

My friends DH's surname is Butt, they'll be going with her surname for any children.

DH and I have decided his name for boys, with my surname for a middle name (as its a fairly stock standard boys name) and my surname for a girl, with his surname for her middle name (as her surname is a stock standard girls name).

so no, I don't think you always have to use DHs surname.

#4 Country (deci)Mel

Posted 08 January 2013 - 02:20 PM

A friend of mine married a man with a dodgy surname, (sounded very similar to an unfortunate word) he changed it to hers.  
The irony was that the surname was only one generation old as HIS mother had insisted they change it from the original one which had a pretty bloodthirsty meaning in their original language!

Dodgy surnames are character forming!  (says she with the most benign of all surnames!)

That being said I hope to give our children MY surname as DP's is his step dad's and  I can't see why my children need to carry on the name of a person I never really met and who's 'line' has already been passed on by his biological children and grandchildren.

#5 tickledpink72

Posted 08 January 2013 - 02:24 PM

It would never occur to me not to give my child his fathers surname.

#6 PixieVee

Posted 08 January 2013 - 02:24 PM

QUOTE (cinnabubble @ 08/01/2013, 03:15 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I've never heard an adequate reason for children to automatically get their father's names. Regardless of what the name is.


Exactly.

#7 cinnabubble

Posted 08 January 2013 - 02:26 PM

QUOTE (tickledpink72 @ 08/01/2013, 03:24 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It would never occur to me not to give my child his fathers surname.

Why?

#8 mum201

Posted 08 January 2013 - 02:27 PM

I still don't understand why kids automatically get dad's surname. My son has my name at the insistence of DH who thought my name was 'more suitable'....,

In an instance where either parent had a surname like 'Hyman' (had a teacher with that name), I would definitely default to the other parent's surname.

#9 asdf89

Posted 08 January 2013 - 02:27 PM

I've told my partner (he thinks I'm joking but I'm deadly serious) that if we were to have a baby before being married it would have my surname.

I birth it - I get to name it Tounge1.gif.
Plus he has three brothers so his name will go on... but I'm one of three girls. And my last name is much nicer than his haha.

#10 kuhla

Posted 08 January 2013 - 02:28 PM

When I got married I did what I thought was right taking my then husbands name that I didn't really like.  

When we separated, I kept his last name because I have no contact with my family so I don't see myself as one of them.  17 years later I am still conscious of the name every time I say it.  I feel bad that that's my kids last name but there is nothing to do to change it.  That is who they are.

I, now have a new partner and am pregnant with him so my new baby will obviously have his last name - a nice, common and so what boring last name.  

On a side note, I never wanted a different surname to my children so before I fell pregnant said even if my DP and I got married I wouldn't change my name to his.   Everything changes now I am expecting again.

#11 cinnabubble

Posted 08 January 2013 - 02:31 PM

QUOTE
I, now have a new partner and am pregnant with him so my new baby will obviously have his last name - a nice, common and so what boring last name.

Why "obviously"?

#12 Country (deci)Mel

Posted 08 January 2013 - 02:33 PM

QUOTE (cinnabubble @ 08/01/2013, 03:31 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Why "obviously"?


I would assume because why would she and her partner give their child the surname of her ex husband?



#13 Peanut

Posted 08 January 2013 - 02:34 PM

I grew up with a long, Germanic and apparently difficult surname for Australian's to pronounce (when sounded out its actually very easy), so I was quite happy to marry a man with a nice short and easy surname and to pass it on to my kids!  

From a geneaological point of view, I hate it when people mess around with surnames.  It makes it very hard to locate people to add to the family tree!   original.gif

#14 kuhla

Posted 08 January 2013 - 02:34 PM

QUOTE (cinnabubble @ 08/01/2013, 02:31 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Why "obviously"?


Because my last name isn't my last name.  It's my ex's.  The baby is not my ex's so I won't give it his last name.

#15 cinnabubble

Posted 08 January 2013 - 02:40 PM

QUOTE (kuhla @ 08/01/2013, 03:34 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Because my last name isn't my last name.  It's my ex's.  The baby is not my ex's so I won't give it his last name.

Of course. That was stupid of me. Although it is an excellent reason for women to keep their names and bestow them on their children.

#16 M1B2G

Posted 08 January 2013 - 02:43 PM

I like the tradition of having the last name of my husband as a result our children have his last name...

It is a personal choice and I do not think it is a symbol that I am in any way my husband's property I just like doing things the way they have traditionally been done.

Why would Khula give her ex husband's last name to her child with her new man?  I can't see too many people agreeing to that...

Edited to add that we posted at the same time Cinnabubble so I now see your new post..

Edited by Mumof1B2G, 08 January 2013 - 02:45 PM.


#17 TheGreenSheep

Posted 08 January 2013 - 02:45 PM

*If* my DHs surname made me that uncomfortable that I wouldnt take it, then no I certainly wouldnt bridle my children with it.

As it is I have married a bland boring, no nickname married name. So boring in fact, none of DHs rellies seem to attract a nickname. Whereas my Scottish maiden name which is reasonably bland, uncommon, and has attracted has a gross nickname that Ive had since school and still am referred to by that name.

Thinking back its also a generational thing. My Mums maiden name nickname is a norty word in this generation. Back when she was a wee girl it wasnt even referred too, it wasnt in common usage. Now shes a grandmother several times over, its a pretty funny nickname  happy.gif

#18 Jane Jetson

Posted 08 January 2013 - 02:45 PM

I had a similar birth surname to you OP - which is mostly why I changed my name when I married DH. If I'd had a nice surname instead of one I hated, I'd have kept it, and lobbied to give it to the kids.

I always rather liked the idea of giving the mother's surname to girl children and the father's to boys.

#19 ~~K~~

Posted 08 January 2013 - 02:46 PM

I gave my child his father's surname because we used mine as his given name.  I wasn't going to call him William Williams.

#20 Propaganda

Posted 08 January 2013 - 02:48 PM

I gave my child her father's surname to spare arguments. Her name would look prettier with mine, but mine is more difficult to pronounce, and everyone spells it wrong (they even spelt it incorrectly on my license).

#21 HerringToMarmalade

Posted 08 January 2013 - 02:49 PM

QUOTE (Peanut @ 08/01/2013, 03:34 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
From a geneaological point of view, I hate it when people mess around with surnames.  It makes it very hard to locate people to add to the family tree!   original.gif


We've had a lot of this in our family tree - our surname was originally a nice, simple name before it was misspelled by immigration officials in Australia, and then had worse and worse spelling until where we've ended up now. The spelling has only been steady for the last 3 or 4 generations. But I connect to my dad's family much more than my mum's, and his family history is so much more interesting, so I am proud to carry his name, I just wish it was a bit nicer. Maybe I'll change it back to the original spelling  tongue.gif

#22 tickledpink72

Posted 08 January 2013 - 02:58 PM

QUOTE (cinnabubble @ 08/01/2013, 02:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Why?



Why wouldn't I?  My husbands surname is my surname too.  I wouldn't dream of giving my child a different surname.

#23 Klinkalink

Posted 08 January 2013 - 03:00 PM

QUOTE (cinnabubble @ 08/01/2013, 02:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I've never heard an adequate reason for children to automatically get their father's names. Regardless of what the name is.

Now that women and children aren't considered part of a man's 'property', there isn't one.

DP and I aren't married (have been together for a very long time but never bothered with the ceremonial side of things), and even if we were I wouldn't have changed my name.

I was pregnant with our sons, I birthed them and I took the majority of the professional and financial hit while being away from the workforce when I had them (including suparannuation). There was no way in the world that my children were going to have a different name to me, so they have my surname.

#24 akkiandmalli

Posted 08 January 2013 - 03:07 PM

DH has a 15 letter sri Lanka surname.. hard to pronounce
I had a 6 letter Maltese surname also hard to pronounce..
to have all the same names we went with his still have to spelll it every time but what to do???
as a teacher kids call me ms w.. easy as original.gif


#25 RedBob

Posted 08 January 2013 - 03:26 PM

We gave DD DHs name because I'm not so very fond of my own that I felt like passing it on. Also, there is a reasonably well known singer songwriter with DDs first name and a surname very similar to mine, so I wanted to avoid that combo. And on top of that, I wanted DD to have a connection with DHs family, who are all overseas.






1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Natural pain relief in the early stages of labour

While managing labour pains on your own can be daunting, there are a number of natural pain relief options to help you cope until you are admitted to hospital.

Chinese woman gives birth to quintuplets

After six years of trying for a baby, a couple’s dreams have come true many times over after the mum gave birth to quintuplets this week.

Five-year-old shoots nine-month-old brother dead

A nine-month-old baby boy died on Monday after he was shot in the head by his five-year-old brother in their grandfather's home.

'Is that baby yours?'

She is my daughter. I gave birth to her. I nurse her. But she doesn't have any of my genes.

Episiotomy in childbirth: not just 'a little snip'

Episiotomies have a place in maternity care – and can occasionally save lives – but should not be performed routinely.

Toddler aggression not caused by language delays after all: study

The logic was that children who don’t have the language to fully express themselves will lash out when they’re misunderstood. Not anymore.

Why we chose to adopt a child with Down sydrome

Everyone in foster care (and really in life) has something that makes them more vulnerable. We just know what our son's is.

Object of desire

Curvy mums make clever babies

Scientists appear to have discovered why women have evolved to have more curves than men – shapely thighs and bottoms lead to healthier babies.

'We'll make sure they know how much she loved them'

A first-time mum will never get to hold her four newborns, dying shortly after giving birth to the quadruplets.

The baby names NZ knocked back in 2014

A New Zealander has tried to name their baby Senior Constable but didn't get away with it - and numbering children is also a no-no.

How can you go into labour without knowing you're pregnant?

For most of us, the idea that a woman could carry a child to full-term without knowing she is pregnant is mind-boggling.

Will you get to the hospital in time?

Worrying your baby will be delivered by the roadside is a common concern for many mothers-to-be. So how likely are you to be caught short?

Video: Funny 'Lips Are Moving' parody just for mums

Meghan Trainor's song 'Lips Are Moving' was already a hit, but now it's been turned into a hilarious parody that is set to be very popular with frustrated mums everywhere.

Out with the clutter

Decluttering by the numbers: take the 30-day challenge

Forget the 5:2 diet - Twitter's 30-day declutter challenge will have your house back in shape in no time (well, a month).

Parents, don't be too hard on yourselves

We need to stop damning parents of today, and embrace their appetite for knowledge instead.

Is my baby normal?

There are chubby Buddha babies and there are thin, smaller babies. Neither are right or wrong, they are all 'normal'.

When an older sibling starts school

When one child goes to ‘big school’ and leaves the other behind, it can cause deep upset. Here's how to make the transition easier.

Stray cat saves abandoned baby

They say dogs are man's best friend, but one cat has proven felines can be just as devoted to their human companions.

How strangers are helping a mum's wish come true after her death

A mum of five, Liz Marquez wanted to breastfeed her premmie son for a year. So when she passed away suddenly, her friends - and strangers - stepped in to help.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Stars help save choking babies

It's an important lesson to learn, but one that busy new mums and dads might overlook until it's too late.

New Girl star Zooey Deschanel pregnant

Actress Zooey Deschanel is expecting her first child with her producer boyfriend Jacob Pechenik.

16 times 'dad reflexes' saved the day

Of course, in some cases they may be the ones who actually got their child into a precarious position in the first place, but we'll ignore that for now.

Couple's 'non-traditional' pregnancy announcement goes viral

Knowing you are not the father of your pregnant wife's baby would usually indicate a rocky relationship ahead for traditional parents.

The trials and tribulations of identical triplet newborns

Pip Donnelly is still playing spot the difference with her newborn identical triplets, Isabelle, Georgina and Frankie.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Earthquake baby thriving five years on

Jenny Alexis is lucky to be alive after spending four days buried in the rubble of the 2010 Haitian earthquake, but now she's a thriving five year old.

Please don't say I'm lucky because I was adopted

On the one hand I was having a regular life with friends and sports and sleepovers and school. But I was also always wondering: Did my mother love me? What was wrong with me?

An open letter to non-parents who offer advice on child-rearing

Kitty, when you’re the parent of my child you’re welcome to wade in with an opinion – but until then, I’d prefer you to have a supportive ear and a glass of wine ready.

Couple arrested over baby gun video

A US couple faces charges after investigators say they found mobile phone videos showing the woman's 12-month-old daughter putting a handgun in her mouth.

NSW Health dumps 10-year limit on frozen embryos

A 10-year time limit on storing frozen embryos that were created with donor sperm has been dropped by the NSW government.

How my happy-go-lucky husband became a monster

Sharan Nicholson-Rogers watched her husband change from a happy-go-lucky police officer into an unpredictable man prone to violent and emotional outbursts.

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes, too

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes in line with their pregnant partners, a new study shows.

'They were just doing their job': mum of toddler killed in police chase gone wrong

"They were just doing their job. I feel so sorry for them. It is all just too sad."

Miscarriages to be formally recognised by NSW government

Women who miscarry will be able to obtain an optional "recognition of loss" certificate as a formal recognition of their often heartbreaking loss.

Cafe cubby house 'too noisy' for neighbours

Teenage parties, domestic disputes, or raucous late night pubs are the things that usually come to mind when you think neighbourhood noise complaints.

Dad films baby playing with snake

Most parents would not consider a snake an appropriate playmate for their baby, but a US dad who filmed his daughter playing with a python has defended himself against criticism.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

Win with The Boxtrolls

To celebrate the release of The Boxtrolls on 3D Blu-ray, DVD & Digital with UltraViolet, we're giving you the chance to win a Boxtroll stationary package and DVD.

 

School Term 1

Get after-school care sorted

Wait lists too long at OSHC? Use www.findababysitter.com.au to meet local nannies now.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.