Jump to content

First Antenatal Visit Disapointment


  • Please log in to reply
21 replies to this topic

#1 countryjewel

Posted 08 January 2013 - 01:14 PM

Hi

So, was excited to head off to Doc's for first antenatal visit at 10 weeks yesterday.  We had previously had a scan done for confirmation and dating ect at 6 weeks( long repro history involved so no idea of proper dates) Was rather excited  even booked appointment 2 weeks in advanced probably even told the poor nurse / receptionist far more info than she wanted to know when booking and as a wee bit of a worry wort I was hoping to have some questions fear ect anwsered while there.

So the day arrives ,  40 min trip into neighbouring town to visit and 15 mins later I sitting back in my car crying my eyes out.

After roughly 10 min max of the doc reading first scan report and typing info into computer and handing me a few blood test forms my doc was standing at the door to show me out and said the nurse may take a more details. When i said I had a few concerns / questions in a huff she sat back in her seat and as I started to speak said the nurse could help me and proceeded to walk out the door again.

Now sitting in with the nurse who quickly looks a the computer and says we will make this short as I have someone else waiting or perhaps we do this at your next visit in 4 weeks.  Well at this point I started to tear up and walked out the door and to my car.  

I didnt expect a great deal to happen at my first visit but being as this is our first baby I expected a little more information, care or actual examination ( blood pressure urine anything really).

Needless to say, I have rung around and am off to a different town to see another doctors tomorrow. I go big on first impressions and if thats the type of care I will be receiving I will go some where else thanks.

Maybe I expected to much from a first visit, but really dont think I expected so little.


Anyway, Had my rant, Thanks for listening.

#2 niggles

Posted 08 January 2013 - 01:25 PM

I think it's perfectly reasonable for you to find someone who makes you feel comfortable so I'd say you're right to look elsewhere for someone who aligns with you. You certainly shoukdn't be rushed off and have your questions ignored.

That said, apart from my initial blood tests and chat with my GP I didn't even have another appointment til 20 weeks. You may have unrealistic expectations of how much monitoring needs to go on in an uncompicated pregnancy. Not that you can't or shouldn't have questions and that they shouldn't be answered if you have them of course! But it's not necessarily routine for there to be lots of testing, examining and so on at this stage.

Have you joined a due in group? That could be a good place to chat about any questions you have in the meantime. Sorry you weren't given the care you expected the first time around. It's often such a tiring time in the first trimester and your care providers should know that. sad.gif

#3 needanangel

Posted 08 January 2013 - 01:26 PM

Hi Countryjewel,

I am sorry to hear that your first appointment went so bad - i dont think it was very professional of them at all.
I have a scan today to see how baby is doing (just over 10wks but worried) and see my ob for the first time on Thursday. I hope she is as good as i have been told or i will change as well! Feeling comfortable is so important with your care providers so good on you for ringing around and seeing someone else!

being new to the location my GP has been a great help for referring me and due to my past 3 miscarriages knows my concerns.

I hope that the next person you see is way better and gives you the reassurance and information you need.

Good luck!

#4 Corella

Posted 08 January 2013 - 01:28 PM

You'll get more support on here than from any doctor. At the moment you are in early pregnancy and not very interesting to them. They don't generally have time or interest to listen to your concerns when your baby isn't yet viable. If you want that type of support, a doula or midwife who wants to help you as a woman who is also pregnant would be much more suitable.

#5 Madnesscraves

Posted 08 January 2013 - 01:30 PM

First appointments are generally short. 15-20mins but with the OB IMO.

Not much needs to be gathered or worried about until after the 12 week scans. If you're doing PHI and paying OOP for this OB. then I'd be looking for another one because If I am going to have to fork out thousands for care I would like the OB to show it.

It's not too late to seek another OB. OP. Good luck with the rest of the pregnancy.

#6 WithSprinkles

Posted 08 January 2013 - 01:36 PM

I would be looking for another OB if you are going private OP. My OB was very supportive and at every appointment asked me if I had any questions/concerns and took the time to reassure me and answer any questions I had.

Where are you located? Perhaps someone could give you a recommendation?

ETA: Sorry didn't realise this was a due in group!!

Edited by VanillaIcecream, 08 January 2013 - 01:37 PM.


#7 José

Posted 08 January 2013 - 01:38 PM

With my obs you always see the midwife first with the idea being you ask them any questions. The only times I would have spent more than 10 Mins with the obs was when I got past 38 weeks.
It would have Been nice for the staff you saw to acknowledge the excitement of a first baby  they probably should have let you know what to expect at appt also. It doesn't sound like you received siblings standard care though.

#8 muggins_00

Posted 08 January 2013 - 02:42 PM

None of my appointments have ever been long. Normally 5 minutes max, go in, blood pressure, later appointments it's a quick check of fundal height and a quick listen to the heartbeat with the doppler. In fact, my longest appointment was when they were picking what date to book me in for a c-section.

I've always gone public though so usually the first appointment is with a midwife who does a run down of health history which I would expect your OB to do too if it was your first appointment with them?

#9 Wishing2011

Posted 12 January 2013 - 10:27 PM

I would be looking for another OB. If you are going private you are paying them a lot of money or their care. It shouldn't matter how far along you are they should still listen to your concerns and discuss them with you. I found I felt like this with my old OB/FS. He was crap I would never recommend him. After wasting a year on him I found someone else who actually took the time to answer my questions, never rushed me, asked ME a lot of questions and told me straight what my options were. I expect the same kind of treatment from my OB . I refuse to go back to the old one and by the sounds of it the person you saw isn't worth it if they are going to practically ignore your questions like its of no importance to them. It pays to research and look up a good specialist original.gif good luck and I'm sorry your first apt was not what you expected.

#10 Expelliarmus

Posted 12 January 2013 - 10:37 PM

I had a private OB and my first appointments were always heaps longer than that. Well possibly not DD2 as I saw the same OB as for #1 and didn't really have any questions or anything. But with #1 I had a nice longish chat with the OB about why I was there (almost certain GDM diagnosis), a conversation about the type of pregnancy management I wanted, discussion about which testing I'd like to do and a physical examination. He also asked me if I had any questions.

So with #2, given the complications I had with #1, we discussed the plan of action to avoid them this time, another discussion re: 12 week testing yay or nay and any questions?

#3 was with a new OB who I discussed my previous births with, my expectations and desires, my thoughts about testing, confirmed his philosophy and has an U/S.

I disagree that first appointments with the OB are so short. Hope you can find care providers that suit you better, OP.

#11 SCARFACE CLAW

Posted 12 January 2013 - 10:45 PM

Don't belong here but I'd look for another OB too. My OB (private) does a scan in her room at each appointment and listens and takes any concerns seriously. Hope your new doctor is much better.

#12 FeralPerthFembo

Posted 12 January 2013 - 10:53 PM

Hi OP, are you public or private?

For public I think that sounds about standard, for private I would think it's quite unacceptable as you are paying a lot of money for that peace of mind and extra care. I think your first apointments in private system are like interviewing your Ob for the job and as such they should be proving why you should choose them.

I remember my first pregnancy 2 years ago I had read all the books telling you all these things that would happen at your first appointment. They would weigh you, check pressure etc, ask about family history etc. Nope I got none of that!

Seems all they tend to do in public system is give you a referral for a blood/urine test and that's about it. (Maybe give you a referral for dating/NT scan but they are not medically necessary so might not). I even asked the GP if they had any brochures/info on what to eat/avoid, pregnancy management and they didn't have any.

I think your GP was quite rude in brushing you off when you specifically had questions, but as another pp said, before 12 weeks the public system wont give you a lot of attention. Your expectations may have been a bit high, though I probably would change GPs as I think they should be more helpful than he was.

If you are public you'll probably find the first "proper" apt where they go into all your family history and check out lots of things will be your hospital booking in apt. This is usually about an hour and with a midwife, and the midwives are generally much nicer and more helpful than the Obs I found!

Even in 2 years my public hospital has changed the booking in apt from 14-16wks to they wont let you book in before 18wks. I think they don't really want to know about pregnancies before they are deemed "viable".

Edited by JBaby, 12 January 2013 - 11:01 PM.


#13 B.feral3

Posted 13 January 2013 - 05:57 AM

My first visit with all 3 babies was LONG. Like an hour and a half long, and that's public.

They went through previous history, parents history, siblings history, possible abuse if any, weight, height, a discussion on pregnancy nutrition and exercise and more. I walked out of the appointment with literally a bag FULL of brochures from everything to looking after yourself in pregnancy to depression and preparing to arm yourself with knowledge in breastfeeding.

With DS3 I changed hospitals at 30 weeks and the new hospital also did a 'first appointment' thing with me that took well over an hour and we talked about just about everything.

At the end of the day, if you're not happy, go somewhere else. If your quality of care is not there now, what will it be like later!!

#14 icekool

Posted 13 January 2013 - 06:14 AM

Rubbish. Get a new OB. You are not happy. This is a very important time of your life. You need to pick someone that makes you happy.

#15 FeralPerthFembo

Posted 13 January 2013 - 11:16 AM

bek+3 was that with a regular gp (not ob and not hospital) before 11 weeks?

if it was, I'm wondering if maybe the system has changed since then to save time/money on those who's pregnancies may not end up being viable...?

I know it sounds insensitive but when 1 in 4 pregnancies end in mc (due to factors outside anyone's control) I can see why the public system would choose to not spend the resources prior to second trimester...

Edited by JBaby, 13 January 2013 - 11:18 AM.


#16 hailsmt

Posted 15 January 2013 - 07:17 PM

New doctor for sure... My GP (maybe this is because I am in a smallish town) she gave me a big hug and a congratulations!! But even at my first appt with my OB, he was warm and caring and wonderful... And this is why I keep going back to him... Good luck!!!

#17 julies1980

Posted 16 January 2013 - 10:50 AM

i know how you feel except my dr gave the referals for the 10 week scan and 19 weeks for the midwife at the hopsital  who i see in feb and nothing for the blood test at 12 weeks im going to be seeing another gp as the orginal gp  care about was if i had a normal pg  mad.gif  and this one i have had bad ms for the last month..... blink.gif  and no ob referal either...

#18 crackles

Posted 16 January 2013 - 11:20 AM

Normally u'd go to the gp to confirm pregnancy and they'd organise (u need to remind some of them!) blood test and 12 week scan if wanted. Antenatal clinics don't normally accept anyone until 14 weeks and the first appt is generally the longest one where they get all ur details and give u info and measure u. Appts after that (if it's a healthy no issues pregnancy) only last for 5 mins or so and all they do is ask how u're going take ur blood pressure and listen to the heartbeat. Until u get to 34 or so weeks then they're a bit longer again.
I'm with public if that makes any difference

But aside from that the dr/whatever u were seeing doesn't sound very professional and I'd request a different one or if that's the only one, make s complaint. So what if there's others waiting they can wait a little longer

#19 countryjewel

Posted 16 January 2013 - 02:40 PM

Good news, Found a new OB,  one who actually answered questions ect... I mean the first didn't even take blood pressure or anything. So much happier with the new Doc.. Big relief as had me quite upset.

#20 FeralPerthFembo

Posted 16 January 2013 - 03:05 PM

Glad you found someone you like OP original.gif

I still havent figured out though, are you public or private?

#21 tess840

Posted 16 February 2013 - 01:16 PM

Totally agree!! When i got the positive pregnancy test I made a doctor appointment (just with GP) I had no idea what to do/expect and thought he would load me up with info etc he handed me a cup and did a urine test (pretty much same as home preg test) and said 'yep your pregnant' and was ready to kick me out!! I asked what do i do now (had never even heard of an obstetrician) and he gave me an US form and said just have one before you go overseas (which was at about week 10).

I then had to google (don't know how anyone survived before internet) and basically asked some pretty dumb questions to people on here and other sites and ended up booking a private OB, mainly for the fact that this is all new to me, I don't have many friends with kids that I could ask. I am aware that I am low risk etc, and dont even expect medical procedures, scans, bloodtests etc but didn't think it was too much to ask to provide some info on what the hell to do/who to contact/public or private options etc.

Anyways glad you found a good doctor, my OB is awesome am very happy with him too original.gif

#22 MsFeral

Posted 16 February 2013 - 03:50 PM

The first thing my GP said to me was "do you know the rate of miscarriage? 1 in 4". I was 5 weeks at the time and trying to get excited, so was a bit disappointed in that. She's been otherwise helpful so I let it slide.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

A mum's tragic battle against inflammatory breast cancer

At just 37 years of age, with two young sons, Vicki was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer. Now her family wants all women to know the symptoms.

The business of babies around the world

Pregnancy and birth is an intriguing process no matter where you are in the world. One soon-to-be father gleans wisdom from a new guide.

Finding a positive path through IVF

It’s not surprising that IVF is often seen as a negative journey towards the ultimate positive, but having a glass-half-full approach can make a big difference to the experience.

Giving strangers the gift of parenthood

A mum explains why she and her husband are choosing to gift their leftover embryos to help strangers achieve their dream of parenthood.

Does morning sickness get better or worse with each child?

Just as every baby is unique, so is every pregnancy. And that means morning sickness can vary a lot, too.

What's so wrong with looking 'mumsy', anyway?

Why is it that the word ‘mumsy’ has connotations of such a negative nature – but seems to be the only other option apart from ‘yummy’?

Trying to speed up the inevitable

As the waiting game of late pregnancy continues, this mum considers a few things that might hurry things up a little.

One month later: where is William Tyrell?

It has been a little over a month since William Tyrell disappeared from his grandmother's home, 33 long sleepless nights for his family as they mourn the absence of their cheeky young boy.

Winter's child less likely to be moody: study

Babies born in the summer are much more likely to suffer from mood swings when they grow up, while those born in the winter are less likely to become irritable adults, scientists claim.

Single mum of two creates award-winning baby app

Suddenly single with a baby and an 11-year-old son, Tara O?Connell developed an app to improve the lives of mothers who were similarly overwhelmed.

Food for thought: looking after yourself as a new mum

As soon as your baby enters the world, everything else takes a back seat - even the necessities of daily life such as eating are severely compromised, right when you need energy the most.

'Grabbable guts' campaign aims to cut toxic fat

The Live Lighter campaign will take people inside the human body to show the internal dangers of being overweight.

The best and worst month of my life

A new mum's first month of motherhood didn't pan out as expected when she lost a family member weeks after her baby's birth.

Facebook and Apple offer to pay female staff to freeze their eggs

Facebook and Apple are hoping to provide women with the freedom to build their careers without the added pressure of having children at or by a certain age.

How a pregnancy contract could work for you and your partner

The idea of making a 'pregnancy contract' with your partner may sound a bit silly at first, but it can help make the transition to parenthood a lot smoother.

Finding a mum-friendly personal trainer

Burping babies vs burpees – yes, new mums and personal trainers live in different worlds. But they can work together - once you find the right match for you and your lifestyle.

Alleged baby snatch incident a ?misunderstanding?, say police

Police say that an incident in which a man pulled on a woman?s pram while walking a popular Sydney route late last month was a misunderstanding.

Ebola killed my aunt and is shutting down my country

Three weeks ago, my auntie, a midwife, developed a fever. Sitting here in Sydney basked in Australian sunshine, that shouldn't be big news.

The night my ovary burst

One mum shares her frightening experience and vows to never take her health for granted again.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win 1 of 5 Canon Powershot D30 cameras

Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!

16 parenting truths you won't find in the baby books

I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.

Best and worst potty party cakes

It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.

7 tips for a financially festive Christmas

Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Great birthday party buys from Etsy

Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.

Creative storage ideas for the kids' rooms

Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.

The 'yucky' illness that took over my life

I have a chronic illness nobody likes to discuss, as it involves toilet talk. But it needs to be talked about.

To the mum in the doctor's waiting room

Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.

10 space-saving nursery ideas

Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.

 

What's in a name?

Baby Names

Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.