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#1 purpleblackqueen

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:45 AM

the tantrums, extra things getting snuck in the trolley, overspending, and the "Please can we get" and the "I want" when taking kids shopping

esp when you can't not take them.

#2 protart roflcoptor

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:47 AM

At your kids ages, I would expect you could start teaching them about budgets, have a look on line at prices, get them involved in meal planning with a certain $ amount to stick to. Not like they are toddlers.

#3 noonehere

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:48 AM

Ask=dont get
Dont ask, get a treat at the end
Shop online and either get it delivered or get it packed and just pick it up.

#4 Sugared

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:48 AM

Make an agreement (before you go) that they can have a treat/reward of some kind, but only if they don't ask for anything while at the shops. The minute they ask for something, no treat.

#5 Expelliarmus

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:49 AM

I ignore a lot of stuff. Children over 4 who tantrum in the supermarket get a lecture about acting their age and a reminder that I will only listen to them if they make reasonable requests in a reasonable voice.

I never buy things snuck in the trolley - I send the child to return it to the shelf if I discover it at the checkout (or before).

I say no a lot.

I mostly ignore them and get on with my shopping.

I take a list and stick to it if it's getting out of hand with overpsending.

I do fortnightly shops to reduce their frequency.

I use bakeries, butchers and fruit and veg shops to reduce the time in the supermarket with the overpriced sugary crap in.

I remember that the school holidays don't last forever and when school goes back it will settle down again because I can go while they are at school original.gif .

#6 MintyBiscuit

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:50 AM

My mum used to take me and my two younger sisters shopping, and if we didn't ask for things and helped with the shop we got to choose a chocolate at the end. Worked like a charm.

#7 purpleblackqueen

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:53 AM

QUOTE (ossim roflcopter @ 08/01/2013, 10:47 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
At your kids ages, I would expect you could start teaching them about budgets, have a look on line at prices, get them involved in meal planning with a certain $ amount to stick to. Not like they are toddlers.

I have spoken to them about things like budgets etc and it goes in one ear and out the other, they dont seem to care, I do get them invovled int he meal planning and as long as their favourites appear every month they are happy.

#8 happygurl06

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:55 AM

With my 7yr old DD i set an expectation as we are walking in (I find if I do it at home it's too long ago and she forgets)

I let her know if we will be getting things for her or not.  Eg.  Today is a quick shop and I don't have a lot if spare money so please don't ask me for anything.  Or, if your a good girl in the shops I'll get you a slurpee on the way out.  Or, were getting snacks today for school so grab a basket and you can help me pick them out.

#9 packysmum

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:58 AM

2 words......online shopping!
I shop while kids are in bed, it gets delivered to my door next day! Wouldn't do it any other way!

#10 Fr0g

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:05 AM

Stick to a list, which your kids have helped you with. Put a 'negotiable' bit right down the bottom which they choose (packet of gum, cordial, whatever they normally try to wrangle out of you).

If they behave/ don't nag/ whine, then they get their negotiable treat. If they don't behave how you expect, they miss out.

Learn to say no. Learn to put things back on the shelf. Learn to ignore.

#11 Lyra

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:07 AM

my daughter is seven and I make up a separate list for her to find things. I find that if she is occupied then she can't get distracted by what she wants. If she sees a toy she wants I ask her 'did you bring your money?' and often she hasn't so she doesn't get to buy it. With food things that are not on the list I won't buy them unless they are on special. She might get a kinder surprise at the end, she might not. I refuse to reward good behaviour. I have never had her sneaking stuff in and if she did she would need to return it. Tantrums are dismissed out of hand. I am not embarrassed by my child having a tantrum and she tends not to in the supermarket anyway.

#12 purpleblackqueen

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:07 AM

QUOTE (FrogIsAFrogIsAFrog @ 08/01/2013, 11:05 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Stick to a list, which your kids have helped you with. Put a 'negotiable' bit right down the bottom which they choose (packet of gum, cordial, whatever they normally try to wrangle out of you).

If they behave/ don't nag/ whine, then they get their negotiable treat. If they don't behave how you expect, they miss out.

Learn to say no. Learn to put things back on the shelf. Learn to ignore.

I seem to spend more time saying no then anything else.

#13 BeYOUtiful

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:08 AM

I was going to suggest online shopping - I am a Customer Service Agent with Coles and do the online shopping original.gif

Other than that nosuggestions......I have a toddler who throws all sorts of random stuff in to the trolley.  He picked up condomns the other day wink.gif  I make him put them all back.

Edited by ~Jane05~, 08 January 2013 - 10:14 AM.

#14 50ftqueenie

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:09 AM

A pep talk before we go reminding them of my expectations. Always works for me.

For under 3s, distraction works for me.

#15 Fr0g

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:10 AM

[Quote]I seem to spend more time saying no then anything else.[\quote]

We all do, it's one of the crappy parts of parenting!

#16 Expelliarmus

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:12 AM

QUOTE (purpleblackqueen @ 08/01/2013, 11:07 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I seem to spend more time saying no then anything else.

That's normal.

#17 BeYOUtiful

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:18 AM

That's why it is one of a childs first words, lol.

#18 BadCat

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:29 AM

QUOTE (purpleblackqueen @ 08/01/2013, 11:07 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I seem to spend more time saying no then anything else.

Parenting - you're doing it right.  laughing2.gif

I used to just tell my kids that they could ask once.  If the answer was no then that was it.  They could tantrum, beg, plead, whatever they like, but it would have no effect at all.  And I stuck to my guns.  There were very few showdowns before they got the message.  They still ask but realise that no is final and not-negotiable.

Your kids are old enough to understand that.  And they are old enough that if they carry on like pork chops in the shop you can just walk away and leave them to it.  Don't leave the shop obviously, but you can carry on with your shopping and pay them no attention.  They will almost certainly give up and follow you eventually.  But whatever you do, don't engage with the tantrum and never give in after you've said no.

#19 sophiasmum

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:32 AM

I have perfected the art of saying the word "no" in a way that leaves no room for argument. If necessary, repeat & repeat.

If they do stoop to begging, I say you can pay for it out of your pocket money, that's usually when they realise they don't want it that badly LOL. Or in DS's case, he never hangs onto money long enough to have savings.

If yours are sneaking items into the trolley, I would leave them at the checkout.

#20 mel43

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:32 AM

I've told them that the more they ask for things, the more practice I get at saying no. All that practice makes saying no so easy, sometimes I don't even hear what they're asking for wink.gif

#21 Holidayromp

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:33 AM

Get the kids involved with the shop.  Ask them to get certain items and remember the prices.  Younger ones can stack items in trolley.
Don't buy treats every shop or very frequently because they will come to expect treats everytime and chuck a wobbly when they get their way
With toddlers park them in the trolley - however when they get to a certain age let them walk near you and get them to pick stuff from the lower shelves and place in trolley.  A busy toddler means a peaceful shop!
If toddler starts mucking up into the trolley they go.

I very rarely have problems with the kids when we shop - it is a peaceful experience but on the odd occasion DS who is two can cause trouble but usually there is a factor behind it - he is tired, beyond it.  Getting him involved does work wonders.

#22 protart roflcoptor

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:35 AM

We are not talking toddlers here HR.

#23 emnut

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:35 AM

DS (9 year old) is given $5/fortnight that he can either spend when shopping or save (his other $5 goes directly into a savings account that he knows about & checks the balance of regularly).  He knows that if he doesn't have any of this money with him or he has spent it all he doesn't get anything extra that is not on the list.  He also knows what treat type foods are being bought for him each fortnight.  Since we started this system at 5 (but with much less money) he will show us things he likes but he doesn't ask for them often & certainly hasn't had a tantrum over not getting things.

ETA - he also helps getting things that are on the list

Edited by emnut, 08 January 2013 - 10:37 AM.

#24 Lucrezia Borgia

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:41 AM

QUOTE (BadCat @ 08/01/2013, 11:29 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
But whatever you do, don't engage with the tantrum and never give in after you've said no.

Yes, absolutely this...you give them an inch and they'll then ask for a mile.....

#25 Holidayromp

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:43 AM

QUOTE (ossim roflcopter @ 08/01/2013, 11:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
We are not talking toddlers here HR.

Oh just threw that part about toddlers in but I have older kids too and they are excellent shoppers very helpful.  The information I put in here about toddlers is important because if you can lay down the ground rules from a very young age you will not have problems when they are older.
But for older kids is just a simple no and just get on with it.  But again getting them involved takes their minds off the "i wants' and it makes them feel quite important.

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