Jump to content

How do you avoid.......


  • Please log in to reply
64 replies to this topic

#1 purpleblackqueen

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:45 AM

the tantrums, extra things getting snuck in the trolley, overspending, and the "Please can we get" and the "I want" when taking kids shopping

esp when you can't not take them.






#2 protart roflcoptor

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:47 AM

At your kids ages, I would expect you could start teaching them about budgets, have a look on line at prices, get them involved in meal planning with a certain $ amount to stick to. Not like they are toddlers.



#3 noonehere

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:48 AM

Ask=dont get
Dont ask, get a treat at the end
Shop online and either get it delivered or get it packed and just pick it up.

#4 Sugared

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:48 AM

Make an agreement (before you go) that they can have a treat/reward of some kind, but only if they don't ask for anything while at the shops. The minute they ask for something, no treat.

#5 Expelliarmus

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:49 AM

I ignore a lot of stuff. Children over 4 who tantrum in the supermarket get a lecture about acting their age and a reminder that I will only listen to them if they make reasonable requests in a reasonable voice.

I never buy things snuck in the trolley - I send the child to return it to the shelf if I discover it at the checkout (or before).

I say no a lot.

I mostly ignore them and get on with my shopping.

I take a list and stick to it if it's getting out of hand with overpsending.

I do fortnightly shops to reduce their frequency.

I use bakeries, butchers and fruit and veg shops to reduce the time in the supermarket with the overpriced sugary crap in.

I remember that the school holidays don't last forever and when school goes back it will settle down again because I can go while they are at school original.gif .

#6 MintyBiscuit

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:50 AM

My mum used to take me and my two younger sisters shopping, and if we didn't ask for things and helped with the shop we got to choose a chocolate at the end. Worked like a charm.

#7 purpleblackqueen

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:53 AM

QUOTE (ossim roflcopter @ 08/01/2013, 10:47 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
At your kids ages, I would expect you could start teaching them about budgets, have a look on line at prices, get them involved in meal planning with a certain $ amount to stick to. Not like they are toddlers.



I have spoken to them about things like budgets etc and it goes in one ear and out the other, they dont seem to care, I do get them invovled int he meal planning and as long as their favourites appear every month they are happy.

#8 happygurl06

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:55 AM

With my 7yr old DD i set an expectation as we are walking in (I find if I do it at home it's too long ago and she forgets)

I let her know if we will be getting things for her or not.  Eg.  Today is a quick shop and I don't have a lot if spare money so please don't ask me for anything.  Or, if your a good girl in the shops I'll get you a slurpee on the way out.  Or, were getting snacks today for school so grab a basket and you can help me pick them out.

#9 packysmum

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:58 AM

2 words......online shopping!
I shop while kids are in bed, it gets delivered to my door next day! Wouldn't do it any other way!

#10 Fr0g

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:05 AM

Stick to a list, which your kids have helped you with. Put a 'negotiable' bit right down the bottom which they choose (packet of gum, cordial, whatever they normally try to wrangle out of you).

If they behave/ don't nag/ whine, then they get their negotiable treat. If they don't behave how you expect, they miss out.

Learn to say no. Learn to put things back on the shelf. Learn to ignore.

#11 Lyra

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:07 AM

my daughter is seven and I make up a separate list for her to find things. I find that if she is occupied then she can't get distracted by what she wants. If she sees a toy she wants I ask her 'did you bring your money?' and often she hasn't so she doesn't get to buy it. With food things that are not on the list I won't buy them unless they are on special. She might get a kinder surprise at the end, she might not. I refuse to reward good behaviour. I have never had her sneaking stuff in and if she did she would need to return it. Tantrums are dismissed out of hand. I am not embarrassed by my child having a tantrum and she tends not to in the supermarket anyway.



#12 purpleblackqueen

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:07 AM

QUOTE (FrogIsAFrogIsAFrog @ 08/01/2013, 11:05 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Stick to a list, which your kids have helped you with. Put a 'negotiable' bit right down the bottom which they choose (packet of gum, cordial, whatever they normally try to wrangle out of you).

If they behave/ don't nag/ whine, then they get their negotiable treat. If they don't behave how you expect, they miss out.

Learn to say no. Learn to put things back on the shelf. Learn to ignore.



I seem to spend more time saying no then anything else.

#13 BeYOUtiful

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:08 AM

I was going to suggest online shopping - I am a Customer Service Agent with Coles and do the online shopping original.gif

Other than that nosuggestions......I have a toddler who throws all sorts of random stuff in to the trolley.  He picked up condomns the other day wink.gif  I make him put them all back.

Edited by ~Jane05~, 08 January 2013 - 10:14 AM.


#14 50ftqueenie

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:09 AM

A pep talk before we go reminding them of my expectations. Always works for me.

For under 3s, distraction works for me.

#15 Fr0g

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:10 AM

[Quote]I seem to spend more time saying no then anything else.[\quote]

We all do, it's one of the crappy parts of parenting!

#16 Expelliarmus

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:12 AM

QUOTE (purpleblackqueen @ 08/01/2013, 11:07 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I seem to spend more time saying no then anything else.

That's normal.

#17 BeYOUtiful

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:18 AM

That's why it is one of a childs first words, lol.

#18 BadCat

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:29 AM

QUOTE (purpleblackqueen @ 08/01/2013, 11:07 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I seem to spend more time saying no then anything else.


Parenting - you're doing it right.  laughing2.gif

I used to just tell my kids that they could ask once.  If the answer was no then that was it.  They could tantrum, beg, plead, whatever they like, but it would have no effect at all.  And I stuck to my guns.  There were very few showdowns before they got the message.  They still ask but realise that no is final and not-negotiable.

Your kids are old enough to understand that.  And they are old enough that if they carry on like pork chops in the shop you can just walk away and leave them to it.  Don't leave the shop obviously, but you can carry on with your shopping and pay them no attention.  They will almost certainly give up and follow you eventually.  But whatever you do, don't engage with the tantrum and never give in after you've said no.

#19 sophiasmum

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:32 AM

I have perfected the art of saying the word "no" in a way that leaves no room for argument. If necessary, repeat & repeat.

If they do stoop to begging, I say you can pay for it out of your pocket money, that's usually when they realise they don't want it that badly LOL. Or in DS's case, he never hangs onto money long enough to have savings.

If yours are sneaking items into the trolley, I would leave them at the checkout.

#20 mel43

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:32 AM

I've told them that the more they ask for things, the more practice I get at saying no. All that practice makes saying no so easy, sometimes I don't even hear what they're asking for wink.gif

#21 Holidayromp

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:33 AM

Get the kids involved with the shop.  Ask them to get certain items and remember the prices.  Younger ones can stack items in trolley.
Don't buy treats every shop or very frequently because they will come to expect treats everytime and chuck a wobbly when they get their way
With toddlers park them in the trolley - however when they get to a certain age let them walk near you and get them to pick stuff from the lower shelves and place in trolley.  A busy toddler means a peaceful shop!
If toddler starts mucking up into the trolley they go.

I very rarely have problems with the kids when we shop - it is a peaceful experience but on the odd occasion DS who is two can cause trouble but usually there is a factor behind it - he is tired, beyond it.  Getting him involved does work wonders.

#22 protart roflcoptor

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:35 AM

We are not talking toddlers here HR.



#23 emnut

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:35 AM

DS (9 year old) is given $5/fortnight that he can either spend when shopping or save (his other $5 goes directly into a savings account that he knows about & checks the balance of regularly).  He knows that if he doesn't have any of this money with him or he has spent it all he doesn't get anything extra that is not on the list.  He also knows what treat type foods are being bought for him each fortnight.  Since we started this system at 5 (but with much less money) he will show us things he likes but he doesn't ask for them often & certainly hasn't had a tantrum over not getting things.

ETA - he also helps getting things that are on the list

Edited by emnut, 08 January 2013 - 10:37 AM.


#24 Lucrezia Borgia

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:41 AM

QUOTE (BadCat @ 08/01/2013, 11:29 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
But whatever you do, don't engage with the tantrum and never give in after you've said no.

Yes, absolutely this...you give them an inch and they'll then ask for a mile.....

#25 Holidayromp

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:43 AM

QUOTE (ossim roflcopter @ 08/01/2013, 11:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
We are not talking toddlers here HR.


Oh just threw that part about toddlers in but I have older kids too and they are excellent shoppers very helpful.  The information I put in here about toddlers is important because if you can lay down the ground rules from a very young age you will not have problems when they are older.
But for older kids is just a simple no and just get on with it.  But again getting them involved takes their minds off the "i wants' and it makes them feel quite important.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

How to talk about your pregnancy at work

The workplace isn't always a friendly place for pregnant women. Yet working women inclined to conceal a pregnancy from prying coworkers may be better off opening up and carrying on, according to a new study.

Tell us your story to win!

To celebrate Mother's Day this year we are giving you the chance to win one of five great prizes simply by telling us your story.

Where to get help to help your baby sleep

There is so much pressure about having a baby who sleeps 'all night' , it's no wonder you worry about your baby if she wakes in the night.

Vintage baby names having a comeback

What makes some names have comebacks while others silently fade into oblivion? A few factors come into play.

When your partner doesn't want you to breastfeed

Dads can have many reasons for not wanting their partners to breastfeed their baby, but both parents should learn more about it before making a final decision.

Model mum Sarah Stage shares post-baby selfie

Most new mums would recoil at the thought, but Sarah Stage has shared a post-pregnancy selfie just four days after giving birth.

I'll admit it: I have last child parenting fatigue

If you're a new mum and feeling ignored by the older mum/the old hand/the has-been, please know, it's not you, it's me. Blame the last child parenting fatigue.

Exhaustion is not the same as tiredness

Having a new baby isn't tiring - it can be downright exhausting.

Five posterior babies, four home births

I was on a high. I'd done it all by myself with no help from anyone.

Mum's list of birthday gift demands goes viral

We're big fans of kids' birthday parties - but this is one bash we're glad we didn't get an invite to.

Kate Middleton to receive 'loyalty discount' for second birth

Everybody loves a bargain - including the Duchess of Cambridge.

Fish & chip shop owner's sad note goes viral

A lengthy note put on the window of a fish & chip shop has gone viral due to the writer's serious doubts about the romance of travel.

Pregnant women need good nutrition advice, not judgment

Pregnant women are under pressure to do all the "right things" to have a healthy child. It results in women feeling judged about their decisions.

When your child wants you to have another baby

Giving your child a sibling when you don't want to have another baby can be a complex issue.

William Tyrrell's mum speaks out: 'We hope he is still alive'

The mother of missing toddler William Tyrrell says she has a vision that somebody "picked him up and moved him on ... that's the only way ... to explain for him not to be there".

Family comes first for 23-year-old Tommy Connolly

Most 23-year-old blokes spend their hard earned cash on fun times with mates or romantic dinners with their girlfriend, but not Tommy Connolly.

Newborn all-girl quintuplets 'doing great'

The first all-female quintuplets born in the United States were delivered last week, at 28 weeks and two days.

Model mum's big baby silences critics

He may be less than a week old, but baby James Hunter has already helped his model mum silence her critics.

Jammy, Hula Hoop, Rage: Reddit reveals most unusual baby names

A recent Reddit thread has revealed some of the more creative names in the world.

Woman awakens from coma, learns she gave birth

A US woman awakened this week from a four-month-long coma that doctors had feared would be permanent and learned that she had given birth to a baby boy, according to her family.

'Give us a break': mum sent shocking letter over Facebook baby pics

Posting a lot of baby photos doesn't make you a bad person. It may make your Facebook feed a little irritating, but it doesn't make you a bad person.

In defense of the dads who do so much

It's time to shift the focus off what dads aren’t doing and shine it on what they are.

The modern cloth nappies too cute to cover up

If you're only just joining the modern cloth nappy movement, or would like to spruce up your collection, we have to introduce you to Designer Bums.

How breastfeeding can affect your libido

When you’ve just had a baby, having sex isn’t usually top priority. In fact, for a lot of women it rates about as appealing as changing another dirty nappy.

Should pregnant women be allowed to use 'parent and child' car parking spots?

Is it acceptable to use these car parking spots when pregnant? How many of us would admit to doing it?

Healthy baby from sperm taken 48 hours after a man died

Fertility doctors have described their "most extraordinary case" - creating a healthy baby from sperm taken 48 hours after a man had died.

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Last chance to win a year's supply of toys

You have less than a week left to win your child one of five Fisher-Price toy packs valued at over $600 each - hurry, enter today!

Childcare is a big problem, but there's more to it

Let’s keep talking about these issues and not allow them to be put into a neat little box that’s labelled ‘Fix childcare and everything is solved’.

Pink's awesome response to body-shaming trolls

When trolls felt the need to comment on 35-year-old singer-songwriter Pink's weight, her answer was an awesome ode to body love.

Fertility clinic offers egg donors $5000

A national chain of fertility clinics is offering egg donors a $5000 payment to cover their expenses, a first for Australia which is raising concerns the money could act as an inducement.

Baby boy abandoned in India amid fresh surrogacy concerns

Australian officials could do nothing to stop an Australian couple from abandoning their baby son, born through surrogacy in India, after they decided they did not want to bring him to Australia.

Herd immunity and community responsibility: how free-riders can make kids suffer

Individual choice works for haircuts and handbags, but not for preventing infectious diseases that kill kids.

Photographer captures 'unexpected beauty' of birth

If there is one thing Leilani Rogers knows about childbirth, it is that no two deliveries are ever the same.

Expectations vs the reality of making a toddler's clothes

Note to self: less sewing, more life. Not the party dress, but the party. The toddler, as usual, has it all figured out.

Mum meets 'dead' daughter 49 years after birth

In 1965, Zella Jackson-Price was told her premature baby girl had died shortly after birth.

How pregnancy probiotics can help you and your baby

New research suggests that taking specific pregnancy probiotics could be the answer to a range of common pregnancy side effects.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

 

ENTER NOW!

Win a year's worth of toys

Last week to submit a picture of your baby at play for your chance to win. Visit the Play Wall to view our recent entries.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.