Jump to content

How do you avoid.......


  • Please log in to reply
64 replies to this topic

#1 purpleblackqueen

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:45 AM

the tantrums, extra things getting snuck in the trolley, overspending, and the "Please can we get" and the "I want" when taking kids shopping

esp when you can't not take them.






#2 protart roflcoptor

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:47 AM

At your kids ages, I would expect you could start teaching them about budgets, have a look on line at prices, get them involved in meal planning with a certain $ amount to stick to. Not like they are toddlers.



#3 noonehere

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:48 AM

Ask=dont get
Dont ask, get a treat at the end
Shop online and either get it delivered or get it packed and just pick it up.

#4 Sugared

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:48 AM

Make an agreement (before you go) that they can have a treat/reward of some kind, but only if they don't ask for anything while at the shops. The minute they ask for something, no treat.

#5 Expelliarmus

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:49 AM

I ignore a lot of stuff. Children over 4 who tantrum in the supermarket get a lecture about acting their age and a reminder that I will only listen to them if they make reasonable requests in a reasonable voice.

I never buy things snuck in the trolley - I send the child to return it to the shelf if I discover it at the checkout (or before).

I say no a lot.

I mostly ignore them and get on with my shopping.

I take a list and stick to it if it's getting out of hand with overpsending.

I do fortnightly shops to reduce their frequency.

I use bakeries, butchers and fruit and veg shops to reduce the time in the supermarket with the overpriced sugary crap in.

I remember that the school holidays don't last forever and when school goes back it will settle down again because I can go while they are at school original.gif .

#6 MintyBiscuit

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:50 AM

My mum used to take me and my two younger sisters shopping, and if we didn't ask for things and helped with the shop we got to choose a chocolate at the end. Worked like a charm.

#7 purpleblackqueen

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:53 AM

QUOTE (ossim roflcopter @ 08/01/2013, 10:47 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
At your kids ages, I would expect you could start teaching them about budgets, have a look on line at prices, get them involved in meal planning with a certain $ amount to stick to. Not like they are toddlers.



I have spoken to them about things like budgets etc and it goes in one ear and out the other, they dont seem to care, I do get them invovled int he meal planning and as long as their favourites appear every month they are happy.

#8 happygurl06

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:55 AM

With my 7yr old DD i set an expectation as we are walking in (I find if I do it at home it's too long ago and she forgets)

I let her know if we will be getting things for her or not.  Eg.  Today is a quick shop and I don't have a lot if spare money so please don't ask me for anything.  Or, if your a good girl in the shops I'll get you a slurpee on the way out.  Or, were getting snacks today for school so grab a basket and you can help me pick them out.

#9 packysmum

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:58 AM

2 words......online shopping!
I shop while kids are in bed, it gets delivered to my door next day! Wouldn't do it any other way!

#10 Nasty Fr0g

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:05 AM

Stick to a list, which your kids have helped you with. Put a 'negotiable' bit right down the bottom which they choose (packet of gum, cordial, whatever they normally try to wrangle out of you).

If they behave/ don't nag/ whine, then they get their negotiable treat. If they don't behave how you expect, they miss out.

Learn to say no. Learn to put things back on the shelf. Learn to ignore.

#11 Lyra

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:07 AM

my daughter is seven and I make up a separate list for her to find things. I find that if she is occupied then she can't get distracted by what she wants. If she sees a toy she wants I ask her 'did you bring your money?' and often she hasn't so she doesn't get to buy it. With food things that are not on the list I won't buy them unless they are on special. She might get a kinder surprise at the end, she might not. I refuse to reward good behaviour. I have never had her sneaking stuff in and if she did she would need to return it. Tantrums are dismissed out of hand. I am not embarrassed by my child having a tantrum and she tends not to in the supermarket anyway.



#12 purpleblackqueen

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:07 AM

QUOTE (FrogIsAFrogIsAFrog @ 08/01/2013, 11:05 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Stick to a list, which your kids have helped you with. Put a 'negotiable' bit right down the bottom which they choose (packet of gum, cordial, whatever they normally try to wrangle out of you).

If they behave/ don't nag/ whine, then they get their negotiable treat. If they don't behave how you expect, they miss out.

Learn to say no. Learn to put things back on the shelf. Learn to ignore.



I seem to spend more time saying no then anything else.

#13 BeYOUtiful

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:08 AM

I was going to suggest online shopping - I am a Customer Service Agent with Coles and do the online shopping original.gif

Other than that nosuggestions......I have a toddler who throws all sorts of random stuff in to the trolley.  He picked up condomns the other day wink.gif  I make him put them all back.

Edited by ~Jane05~, 08 January 2013 - 10:14 AM.


#14 50ftqueenie

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:09 AM

A pep talk before we go reminding them of my expectations. Always works for me.

For under 3s, distraction works for me.

#15 Nasty Fr0g

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:10 AM

[Quote]I seem to spend more time saying no then anything else.[\quote]

We all do, it's one of the crappy parts of parenting!

#16 Expelliarmus

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:12 AM

QUOTE (purpleblackqueen @ 08/01/2013, 11:07 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I seem to spend more time saying no then anything else.

That's normal.

#17 BeYOUtiful

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:18 AM

That's why it is one of a childs first words, lol.

#18 BadCat

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:29 AM

QUOTE (purpleblackqueen @ 08/01/2013, 11:07 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I seem to spend more time saying no then anything else.


Parenting - you're doing it right.  laughing2.gif

I used to just tell my kids that they could ask once.  If the answer was no then that was it.  They could tantrum, beg, plead, whatever they like, but it would have no effect at all.  And I stuck to my guns.  There were very few showdowns before they got the message.  They still ask but realise that no is final and not-negotiable.

Your kids are old enough to understand that.  And they are old enough that if they carry on like pork chops in the shop you can just walk away and leave them to it.  Don't leave the shop obviously, but you can carry on with your shopping and pay them no attention.  They will almost certainly give up and follow you eventually.  But whatever you do, don't engage with the tantrum and never give in after you've said no.

#19 sophiasmum

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:32 AM

I have perfected the art of saying the word "no" in a way that leaves no room for argument. If necessary, repeat & repeat.

If they do stoop to begging, I say you can pay for it out of your pocket money, that's usually when they realise they don't want it that badly LOL. Or in DS's case, he never hangs onto money long enough to have savings.

If yours are sneaking items into the trolley, I would leave them at the checkout.

#20 mel43

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:32 AM

I've told them that the more they ask for things, the more practice I get at saying no. All that practice makes saying no so easy, sometimes I don't even hear what they're asking for wink.gif

#21 Holidayromp

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:33 AM

Get the kids involved with the shop.  Ask them to get certain items and remember the prices.  Younger ones can stack items in trolley.
Don't buy treats every shop or very frequently because they will come to expect treats everytime and chuck a wobbly when they get their way
With toddlers park them in the trolley - however when they get to a certain age let them walk near you and get them to pick stuff from the lower shelves and place in trolley.  A busy toddler means a peaceful shop!
If toddler starts mucking up into the trolley they go.

I very rarely have problems with the kids when we shop - it is a peaceful experience but on the odd occasion DS who is two can cause trouble but usually there is a factor behind it - he is tired, beyond it.  Getting him involved does work wonders.

#22 protart roflcoptor

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:35 AM

We are not talking toddlers here HR.



#23 emnut

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:35 AM

DS (9 year old) is given $5/fortnight that he can either spend when shopping or save (his other $5 goes directly into a savings account that he knows about & checks the balance of regularly).  He knows that if he doesn't have any of this money with him or he has spent it all he doesn't get anything extra that is not on the list.  He also knows what treat type foods are being bought for him each fortnight.  Since we started this system at 5 (but with much less money) he will show us things he likes but he doesn't ask for them often & certainly hasn't had a tantrum over not getting things.

ETA - he also helps getting things that are on the list

Edited by emnut, 08 January 2013 - 10:37 AM.


#24 Brutta Borgia

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:41 AM

QUOTE (BadCat @ 08/01/2013, 11:29 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
But whatever you do, don't engage with the tantrum and never give in after you've said no.

Yes, absolutely this...you give them an inch and they'll then ask for a mile.....

#25 Holidayromp

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:43 AM

QUOTE (ossim roflcopter @ 08/01/2013, 11:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
We are not talking toddlers here HR.


Oh just threw that part about toddlers in but I have older kids too and they are excellent shoppers very helpful.  The information I put in here about toddlers is important because if you can lay down the ground rules from a very young age you will not have problems when they are older.
But for older kids is just a simple no and just get on with it.  But again getting them involved takes their minds off the "i wants' and it makes them feel quite important.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Chrissy Teigen's pride about daughter's adorable first word

Chrissy Teigen and John Legend have celebrated their 11-month-old baby Luna's first word with an adorable Instagram post.

The photo that sums up how dads REALLY feel during labour

A new mum shared a hilarious photo of her partner during labour that lots of dads will relate to.

You can never hold your baby too much, says study

From the world of super obvious science comes the news that you can never hold your baby too much.

Babies called Romeo and Juliet born hours apart in the same hospital

Two mums gave birth in adjoining hospital rooms a few hours apart. They had never met, and had each chosen their baby's name earlier in the pregnancy.

Mum organises 'nurse-in' protest at IKEA

It's hard to believe than in 2017 mums are still receiving flak for breastfeeding in public, but that's what one US mum claims happened in IKEA.

Will 'How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids' be a best-seller?

Author Jancee Dunn hopes her new book will help mums deal with the stresses that parenthood can place on an otherwise happy relationship.

The dad who was taunted for taking paternity leave

They imagined that while I was away, I would be glued to the couch, beer in hand. In no way would I actually be helping my wife.

Photographer surprises couple with rainbow baby shoot

The prettiest and most unexpected maternity shoot for a much-wanted rainbow baby.

Mum's funny solution for finding 'me time' with a toddler in tow

If you've ever been in possession of a toddler, you'll know that it's next to impossible to get anything done.

Qualities my three-year-old has that I admire

My three-year-old daughter is one of the strongest little women that I know. As I watch her grow into this amazing person, I can't help but feel accomplished and proud.

'You need to be present': John Legend on supporting a partner with PND

Singer John Legend has opened up about supporting wife Chrissy Teigen through postnatal depression.

The seven types of 'parent sleep'

The question, "Did you sleep well last night?" should be easy to answer. Either a yes (if you're lucky), or a no.

'Anxiety hit me like a ton of bricks'

Tammin Sursok has written an essay sharing her personal experience with postnatal anxiety.

11 things to do to protect your mental health while breastfeeding

Whether breastfeeding is going well or you are finding it harder than you expected, taking care of you needs to be a priority.

Couple announces they're both expecting - three weeks apart

Being pregnant at the same time as your best friend means double the excitement.

Why Dax Shepard was 'impressed' when his daughter swore for the first time

Actor and comedian, Dax Shepard has given a hilarious recap of the lengths he'll go to get, and keep, his kids asleep.

Video captures beautiful breech caesarean birth

A new life is brought gently into the world with tender and expert hands.

Mum warns of vacuum danger after toddler injured

Every parent knows toddlers can move fast, now one mum is warning about the dangers of allowing small children anywhere near vacuum cleaners.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

From our network

Win 1 of 10 awesome Peppa Pig prize packs

Who loves Peppa? We have 10 packs to give away - including family passes to see the brand new movie, in cinemas March 16!

Essential Baby & Toddler Show, presented by Blackmores

28th - 30th April, 2017, Melbourne Royal Exhibition Building, Carlton. Get your FREE ticket now. Save $20.

 

Free ticket offer

Essential Baby & Toddler Show, presented by Blackmores

28th - 30th April, 2017, Melbourne Royal Exhibition Building, Carlton. Get your FREE ticket now. Save $20.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.