Jump to content

How do you avoid.......


  • Please log in to reply
64 replies to this topic

#1 purpleblackqueen

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:45 AM

the tantrums, extra things getting snuck in the trolley, overspending, and the "Please can we get" and the "I want" when taking kids shopping

esp when you can't not take them.






#2 protart roflcoptor

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:47 AM

At your kids ages, I would expect you could start teaching them about budgets, have a look on line at prices, get them involved in meal planning with a certain $ amount to stick to. Not like they are toddlers.



#3 noonehere

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:48 AM

Ask=dont get
Dont ask, get a treat at the end
Shop online and either get it delivered or get it packed and just pick it up.

#4 Sugared

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:48 AM

Make an agreement (before you go) that they can have a treat/reward of some kind, but only if they don't ask for anything while at the shops. The minute they ask for something, no treat.

#5 Expelliarmus

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:49 AM

I ignore a lot of stuff. Children over 4 who tantrum in the supermarket get a lecture about acting their age and a reminder that I will only listen to them if they make reasonable requests in a reasonable voice.

I never buy things snuck in the trolley - I send the child to return it to the shelf if I discover it at the checkout (or before).

I say no a lot.

I mostly ignore them and get on with my shopping.

I take a list and stick to it if it's getting out of hand with overpsending.

I do fortnightly shops to reduce their frequency.

I use bakeries, butchers and fruit and veg shops to reduce the time in the supermarket with the overpriced sugary crap in.

I remember that the school holidays don't last forever and when school goes back it will settle down again because I can go while they are at school original.gif .

#6 MintyBiscuit

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:50 AM

My mum used to take me and my two younger sisters shopping, and if we didn't ask for things and helped with the shop we got to choose a chocolate at the end. Worked like a charm.

#7 purpleblackqueen

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:53 AM

QUOTE (ossim roflcopter @ 08/01/2013, 10:47 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
At your kids ages, I would expect you could start teaching them about budgets, have a look on line at prices, get them involved in meal planning with a certain $ amount to stick to. Not like they are toddlers.



I have spoken to them about things like budgets etc and it goes in one ear and out the other, they dont seem to care, I do get them invovled int he meal planning and as long as their favourites appear every month they are happy.

#8 happygurl06

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:55 AM

With my 7yr old DD i set an expectation as we are walking in (I find if I do it at home it's too long ago and she forgets)

I let her know if we will be getting things for her or not.  Eg.  Today is a quick shop and I don't have a lot if spare money so please don't ask me for anything.  Or, if your a good girl in the shops I'll get you a slurpee on the way out.  Or, were getting snacks today for school so grab a basket and you can help me pick them out.

#9 packysmum

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:58 AM

2 words......online shopping!
I shop while kids are in bed, it gets delivered to my door next day! Wouldn't do it any other way!

#10 Fr0g

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:05 AM

Stick to a list, which your kids have helped you with. Put a 'negotiable' bit right down the bottom which they choose (packet of gum, cordial, whatever they normally try to wrangle out of you).

If they behave/ don't nag/ whine, then they get their negotiable treat. If they don't behave how you expect, they miss out.

Learn to say no. Learn to put things back on the shelf. Learn to ignore.

#11 Lyra

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:07 AM

my daughter is seven and I make up a separate list for her to find things. I find that if she is occupied then she can't get distracted by what she wants. If she sees a toy she wants I ask her 'did you bring your money?' and often she hasn't so she doesn't get to buy it. With food things that are not on the list I won't buy them unless they are on special. She might get a kinder surprise at the end, she might not. I refuse to reward good behaviour. I have never had her sneaking stuff in and if she did she would need to return it. Tantrums are dismissed out of hand. I am not embarrassed by my child having a tantrum and she tends not to in the supermarket anyway.



#12 purpleblackqueen

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:07 AM

QUOTE (FrogIsAFrogIsAFrog @ 08/01/2013, 11:05 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Stick to a list, which your kids have helped you with. Put a 'negotiable' bit right down the bottom which they choose (packet of gum, cordial, whatever they normally try to wrangle out of you).

If they behave/ don't nag/ whine, then they get their negotiable treat. If they don't behave how you expect, they miss out.

Learn to say no. Learn to put things back on the shelf. Learn to ignore.



I seem to spend more time saying no then anything else.

#13 BeYOUtiful

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:08 AM

I was going to suggest online shopping - I am a Customer Service Agent with Coles and do the online shopping original.gif

Other than that nosuggestions......I have a toddler who throws all sorts of random stuff in to the trolley.  He picked up condomns the other day wink.gif  I make him put them all back.

Edited by ~Jane05~, 08 January 2013 - 10:14 AM.


#14 50ftqueenie

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:09 AM

A pep talk before we go reminding them of my expectations. Always works for me.

For under 3s, distraction works for me.

#15 Fr0g

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:10 AM

[Quote]I seem to spend more time saying no then anything else.[\quote]

We all do, it's one of the crappy parts of parenting!

#16 Expelliarmus

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:12 AM

QUOTE (purpleblackqueen @ 08/01/2013, 11:07 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I seem to spend more time saying no then anything else.

That's normal.

#17 BeYOUtiful

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:18 AM

That's why it is one of a childs first words, lol.

#18 BadCat

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:29 AM

QUOTE (purpleblackqueen @ 08/01/2013, 11:07 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I seem to spend more time saying no then anything else.


Parenting - you're doing it right.  laughing2.gif

I used to just tell my kids that they could ask once.  If the answer was no then that was it.  They could tantrum, beg, plead, whatever they like, but it would have no effect at all.  And I stuck to my guns.  There were very few showdowns before they got the message.  They still ask but realise that no is final and not-negotiable.

Your kids are old enough to understand that.  And they are old enough that if they carry on like pork chops in the shop you can just walk away and leave them to it.  Don't leave the shop obviously, but you can carry on with your shopping and pay them no attention.  They will almost certainly give up and follow you eventually.  But whatever you do, don't engage with the tantrum and never give in after you've said no.

#19 sophiasmum

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:32 AM

I have perfected the art of saying the word "no" in a way that leaves no room for argument. If necessary, repeat & repeat.

If they do stoop to begging, I say you can pay for it out of your pocket money, that's usually when they realise they don't want it that badly LOL. Or in DS's case, he never hangs onto money long enough to have savings.

If yours are sneaking items into the trolley, I would leave them at the checkout.

#20 mel43

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:32 AM

I've told them that the more they ask for things, the more practice I get at saying no. All that practice makes saying no so easy, sometimes I don't even hear what they're asking for wink.gif

#21 Holidayromp

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:33 AM

Get the kids involved with the shop.  Ask them to get certain items and remember the prices.  Younger ones can stack items in trolley.
Don't buy treats every shop or very frequently because they will come to expect treats everytime and chuck a wobbly when they get their way
With toddlers park them in the trolley - however when they get to a certain age let them walk near you and get them to pick stuff from the lower shelves and place in trolley.  A busy toddler means a peaceful shop!
If toddler starts mucking up into the trolley they go.

I very rarely have problems with the kids when we shop - it is a peaceful experience but on the odd occasion DS who is two can cause trouble but usually there is a factor behind it - he is tired, beyond it.  Getting him involved does work wonders.

#22 protart roflcoptor

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:35 AM

We are not talking toddlers here HR.



#23 emnut

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:35 AM

DS (9 year old) is given $5/fortnight that he can either spend when shopping or save (his other $5 goes directly into a savings account that he knows about & checks the balance of regularly).  He knows that if he doesn't have any of this money with him or he has spent it all he doesn't get anything extra that is not on the list.  He also knows what treat type foods are being bought for him each fortnight.  Since we started this system at 5 (but with much less money) he will show us things he likes but he doesn't ask for them often & certainly hasn't had a tantrum over not getting things.

ETA - he also helps getting things that are on the list

Edited by emnut, 08 January 2013 - 10:37 AM.


#24 Lucrezia Borgia

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:41 AM

QUOTE (BadCat @ 08/01/2013, 11:29 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
But whatever you do, don't engage with the tantrum and never give in after you've said no.

Yes, absolutely this...you give them an inch and they'll then ask for a mile.....

#25 Holidayromp

Posted 08 January 2013 - 10:43 AM

QUOTE (ossim roflcopter @ 08/01/2013, 11:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
We are not talking toddlers here HR.


Oh just threw that part about toddlers in but I have older kids too and they are excellent shoppers very helpful.  The information I put in here about toddlers is important because if you can lay down the ground rules from a very young age you will not have problems when they are older.
But for older kids is just a simple no and just get on with it.  But again getting them involved takes their minds off the "i wants' and it makes them feel quite important.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

An open letter to Tony Abbott: please salvage our super

We face financial ruin, but most of us don?t realise it. If we don?t act together to salvage our superannuation, I have no doubt the new GFC will be the Girls? Financial Crisis.

'I'm happy to know I'm changing lives': surrogate mum of two

I know that once the baby is born, I will focus on the gift I have given, and watch the parents with their new child. I can't wait for that day.

Birth trauma and the issue of informed consent

There is a perception that women should just be happy they have a healthy baby in their arms. But for women who experienced birth trauma, there's a lot more to it.

Tips for managing pollen allergies and hayfever

They're simple tips, but they can have a big impact on those who suffer from hayfever and pollen allergies.

Ada Nicodemou shares tribute to her stillborn baby

Just over one month since Ada Nicodemou and her husband lost their second son, the Home and Away star has shared a touching poem for her baby.

Mum causes stir breastfeeding on train

?To the woman breastfeeding her kid on the train. Seriously! On the train?" began the letter of complaint.

10 things they don?t tell you about being pregnant

As I slowly waddle my ever-changing pregnant body towards the finishing line of my due date, it?s becoming increasingly clear there are a lot of things they just don?t tell you about pregnancy.

Overcoming a fear of the dark

A toddler's fear of the dark is very normal, but there are ways parents can help children through this stage in their development.

Kids, TV and movies: how young is too young?

It seems you don't have to throw the TV and iPad out the window - it all boils down to moderation, supervision and interaction.

Video: Baby's first birthday is a special day for mum, too

?A baby?s first birthday is also mum?s first birthday.?

The day Supernanny came to tea

Prince William's favourite celebrity child trainer Jo Frost puts Bryony Gordon and her toddler through their paces.

Tales from the homefront

When you're at work you sort of assume that your house is basically just sitting there quietly doing nothing until you return. However, since spending my days at home, I've learned this couldn't be further from the truth.

The words I hated hearing as new mum

It was less than a week after my son was born that I first heard it - from my mother.

To the pharmacist who sold me baby formula

On the rare occasion I catch sight of you at school, or around town, I think back to our earliest exchange. I?m sure you have no recollection of it at all.

Babies may benefit from autism therapy

Children showing signs of autism don't usually receive early intervention until well into toddlerhood or later, but a new study suggests infants with symptoms of the developmental disorder might benefit from therapy from as early as six months.

Knatalye and Adeline born with an everlasting bond

Knatalye Hope and Adeline Faith are a lot like any other identical twin girls, but there is one dramatic difference: they're joined at the chest and shares several internal organs.

The question this dad wishes he'd asked his wife

I should have seen that my wife wasn't the same person I'd fallen in love with, but we were both too focused on simply trying to get by.

Why we should talk about the deaths of the Hunt children

The deaths are too horrible even to think about. Yet we owe it to the children - Fletcher, Mia and Phoebe Hunt - to think long and hard about it all.

Baby dies of meningococcal weeks after vaccine application denied

A six-month-old girl has died from meningococcal disease just weeks after an application for government funding of a vaccine for the most deadly strain of the virus was rejected.

Finding the right balance when playing with your kids

Being too involved in our children?s play and not allowing our kids enough free time for unstructured activities can mean our kids miss out on the value that play offers.

Creative DIY light shades

The Pop Light light shade comes in a flat pack already made - it's up to you to design it as you'd like.

The battle of iParenting versus imagination

Have we forgotten how to be imaginative, resourceful parents?

Why movement is so important for your baby's growth

Letting your child move as much as possible in the early years ? using all senses, engaging in the real world, preferably outside ? will help them grow up healthier, smarter, calmer and stronger.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

Losing yourself to motherhood

While watching your baby grow into a unique little person is exciting and wondrous, the intensity of meeting everyone else?s needs can ever so sneakily overtake your own needs for self-care.

Tearing during delivery: the facts

Almost all women will experience bruising, grazing or tearing after a vaginal birth. Depending on the degree of tearing, there are various treatments available.

6 tips for a day out with a baby and toddler

Outings can be lots of fun with the kids, but there are inevitable challenges. Here's some information about days out to help you be a little more prepared.

Why I invited a dozen people to watch my son's birth

I sent invitations on burgundy scrapbooking paper stamped with a field of poppies, and told each person why I wanted him or her there. I warned that there would be nudity.

Getting labour started: tips for a natural induction

When your baby?s due date comes and goes without so much as a pop - let alone a bang - it can be disheartening. Mums and a doula share their stories of natural inductions.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

That's my boy: a dad's diary of the first 4 months

Unbearable anxiety, unspeakable joy, constant exhaustion and bouts of frustration ... The many shocks of first-time fatherhood resound in a dad's diary of his son's early months.

One of the most important things a new mum can do

Finances may not be as cute as a newborn, but with many women?s working arrangements changing post-baby, monetary matters need attention too.

Baby survives five days alone

He lay with his mother for up to five days after she died of a suspected drug overdose - and survived.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Reader offer

2 FOR 1 TICKET OFFER

For Shopping, For Advice, For Baby & You. Enjoy a special day out with fabulous shopping from over 200 brands, leading parenting experts offering advice on a range of topics, and amazing children?s entertainment

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.