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After a miscarriage


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#1 eyesgreen

Posted 08 January 2013 - 08:48 AM

I thought I was doing really well after having a miscarriage in November, but I logged into Facebook today and someone from work has posted a picture of their 12 week scan and announcement. I was due to have my 12 week scan this week and so our due dates would be about the same. I now will see her at work going through her pregnancy thinking I would have been at the same stage. Does it get any easier?

#2 Just_Keep_Swimming

Posted 08 January 2013 - 11:19 AM

I'm really sorry you suffered a miscarriage OP.

I had a miscarriage in November too and a really good friend of mine had her 9 week scan the day I was miscarrying and announced she was pregnant with twins.

Being her friend I was really happy for her but inside my heart was breaking.  

Its natural for you to feel that way don't beat yourself up over it. It will get easier. Some women heal emotionally a lot quicker while some need some extra time.  

Try to think positive and remember your miscarriage occurred for a reason and you have become a stronger person for it.

Good luck and I wish you all the best

#3 eyesgreen

Posted 08 January 2013 - 11:21 AM

QUOTE (Son_LightOfMyLife @ 08/01/2013, 11:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm really sorry you suffered a miscarriage OP.

I had a miscarriage in November too and a really good friend of mine had her 9 week scan the day I was miscarrying and announced she was pregnant with twins.

Being her friend I was really happy for her but inside my heart was breaking.  

Its natural for you to feel that way don't beat yourself up over it. It will get easier. Some women heal emotionally a lot quicker while some need some extra time.  

Try to think positive and remember your miscarriage occurred for a reason and you have become a stronger person for it.

Good luck and I wish you all the best


Thank you biggrin.gif

#4 Gemcat

Posted 08 January 2013 - 11:32 AM

I'm really sorry eyesgreen. It must make it so much more difficult for you. I hope you get your turn very soon.

#5 tidey2

Posted 08 January 2013 - 11:32 AM

When we were TTC#1 and I had just suffered another miscarriage, DH's best mate announced he had knocked up a girl he had only been seeing for around 6-7 weeks. I was devastated. Her due date was my due date. As we were living together at the time and it was in my face all the time I did not cope well at all. I was angry, I cried, I screamed at him and DH on a regular basis. We moved into our place not long after that announcement and I couldn't see them until I fell pregnant with our son.

Funnily enough, there were a few other pregnancy announcements around the same time that I was really excited about and while I shed a little tear I didn't react the way I did with DH's best mate and partner.

It does get a little easier with time.

#6 sleepyerin

Posted 08 January 2013 - 11:47 AM

I'm sorry eyesgreen. When I was pg with DD I agonised how to tell people I knew who had miscarried. There is so little you can do for someone going through that kind of struggle but care.

Sometimes all you can do is find the way to get through - to cope however you can and eventually you find that you find ways to deal with things and feel stronger in yourself.

All the best

#7 Jessie_T

Posted 08 January 2013 - 12:02 PM

I am sorry to hear about your miscarriage. Fortunately, I have never had a miscarriage but I can relate to having a staff member at work. I found that hardest over any fb announcement, as you see them every day at work. When she told me she was pregnant (I am her manager) I put on a happy face and I was happy for her, but part of me thought why couldn't it be me? At that time I thought, I will get over it, but it was harder each week as she popped that bit more. She has now gone on maternity leave and I have coped much better.

Sorry on the downer post, but I feel for you

#8 Dionysus

Posted 08 January 2013 - 01:42 PM

It just basically sucks.

I had 2 m/c whilst TTC#1.  Both were early, but the second one I took 3 days off work for.  Not many people knew the reason.  A few weeks later, a co-worker announced her pregnancy and she was due roughly the same time I would have been.  That cut.  

Thankfully, though, I did get a sticky soon after, so we ended up being pregnant together.

TTC #2 has been going for over 2 years.  DH and I are well over it. But others' announcements are hard.  Particularly (and this is quite judgemental of me), if the circumstances are less than ideal

eg - 2 of my friends are pregnant, both in very happy marriages, very financially secure etc.  I am jealous but not angry

SIL is pregnant, to her 3rd.  She will have 3 under 4.5.  She is in a highly disfunctional relationship and has no money.  I am jealous and upset and angry by this one!


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