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Moving 2.5yr old back in to his bed

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#1 BeYOUtiful

Posted 07 January 2013 - 01:03 PM

Our son is 2.5 at the end of this month.  He has been co sleeping with me since he was getting molars and eye teeth.  The poor thing gets 4 teeth at once and was waking hourly.  It helped my sanity at the time as well as giving him the much needed sleep he needed.

I have just weaned him  last month from BF and think now is the time to get him back in to his bed.

We are going to convert his cot in to a toddler bed.

Prior to co sleeping he was still waking 1-2 times a night when in his cot.  Once in with me, it gradually eased out and he started sleeping through the night, when I commenced day weaning or perhaps just prior.

I am concerned moving him in to his room will bring with it wake ups again, but I do think he needs to be back in his bed/room.  He will be going to pre school next year so would like it done well before then, as well as TT.

Since weaning he now goes to sleep by placing one hand on my chest area and sucking the other thumb.  He does this for day sleeps as well - I lay with him until he goes to sleep.  Both day and night he is usually asleep within 5 minutes.

I am not sure what weight his cot holds, but dare say it wouldn't be a 60kg woman plus a 11+kg toddler biggrin.gif  
Just wondering what has worked for others in similiar situations?
Lay on the floor in his room until he drifts off?  Sit on a chair nearby so he can still have the contact that seems to help soothe him to sleep?  Or is it time to cease that too?
It's all trial and error, just thought there may be something I haven't thought of which may work.  Cheers

TIA original.gif

#2 BeYOUtiful

Posted 09 January 2013 - 09:20 AM

Going by no replies, I am screwed then? lol

#3 RachealJane

Posted 09 January 2013 - 09:30 AM

Im in the same situation.

My 2.5 yo just weaned but still goes to sleep with me lying with her (and because im pregnant im falling asleep with her most nights too, so exhausted).

I've got a queen size mattress on her floor and thats where we sleep. But i'd ideally like her to go to sleep in her single bed which is what she was doing prior to us having house guests over Christmas.

I think it is just trial and error with it all. Maybe try explaining that "from tonight (or whenever) mummy wont lay down with you but will sit next to you" and see how you go.

#4 Silly Old Elf

Posted 09 January 2013 - 09:47 AM

What cot do you have? We have a Boori and I weigh more than 60kg ph34r.gif . We converted to a bed at around 19 mo and I can lay with her no probs. We had a LOT of sleep issues (also co-slept just to get some sleep) but now much better. We do story time then cuddles and sleep. She knows she is not allowed to leave her room, and we keep her door open. She knows that I will check on her after about 2 mins (always with a kiss llove.gif ), then 5 mins (with a kiss), then 10, and then if still not asleep another 20 mins or so. Only took a couple of days for this to work, and she rarely wakes before 5am (and then in with us for an hour or so). This also works for day time naps and although she doesn't always have a sleep she will stay in her bed reading quietly for up to an hour and a half.

#5 BeYOUtiful

Posted 09 January 2013 - 10:01 AM

Thanks for replies  original.gif
RachealJane I think beside the bed is the way to go as you suggested and leave once he is drifting off.

Nematode, It is a Boori Sleigh (the ones with the closed in ends, not the model with the rails on the ends).  I couldn't locate the book for it so not sure what weight it holds.
I also like your idea of letting him know I will check in on him.

I will give it a go from Friday night.

Edited by ~Jane05~, 09 January 2013 - 10:03 AM.

#6 Lokum

Posted 09 January 2013 - 10:06 AM

My 2.5 year old was sleeping in his cot at the start of the night, but would come to our bed overnight. We didn't have much luck resettling him in the cot (and TBH, didn't try too hard.) Then he stayed with my sister for 5 nights when our newie was born, didn't go into her bed, and when he came home, stopped coming to our bed (has been in 2-3 times in 7 weeks.) Miracle cure, but a bit radical, perhaps to send him away for 5 nights.

Temperature was a key factor in what time he came to us - so to be successful, you'll have to figure out how to keep him warm all night and in the early morning. This is tricky when it's warm or hot at bedtime, but cool in the early am.

When we converted his cot to toddler bed, we made a big deal of his new quilt, pillow and big-boy-bed. He got a special car shaped pillow etc etc. We read a book showing a baby in a cot and a big boy in a bed. He was enthusiastic about it.

In recent months, trying to fix a temporary sleep problem arising from jet lag, I stayed and held his hand with my head on his pillow (my bum on the floor), and gradually withdrew to just hand, then sitting on a chair, then outside the door. Key in all of this was NO eye contact. So I sat on the chair with my back to him, and told him I'd stay with him, but no talking because I was reading my book.

We also left his door open, and a dim light on.  We found if he woke in darkness, he'd scream and not re-settle, but if he woke in light with the door open, he'd often resettle himself.

Lots of luck!

ETA, we have a Boori country classic, and after my c/s I did lie on the bed with him for stories, cos it was too hard getting on and off the floor, and our combined weight was around 77kg!! Wouldn't do it for long periods, but appears to hold us for a couple of stories no probs!

Edited by Lokum, 09 January 2013 - 10:09 AM.

#7 Holidayromp

Posted 09 January 2013 - 10:09 AM

DS is just a little bit younger than your son.  He only started sleeping through in early July of this year (only one night) then Christmas Eve and then the previous two nights.  He is started to get it.  What I did was always put him to bed in his cot and then when he woke up during the night I would take him to bed with me.  Gradually he spent longer and longer in his cot and now for the first time every has slept through TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW eexcite.gif .  He may regress but at this stage it is awesome.  I feel rested.  

Like with all of my kids I go with their needs, not force any routines, I just let them find their way.  I found it to be gentle and allowed for things to fall into place.  DS did take a lot longer than the two DDs who slept through from 6 weeks but we are getting there.

Maybe this is something you can do.  I am still bfing - it is still demand fed but he is become less demanding the older he gets - he now only wants it when he is ready to sleep but can fall asleep without it.  Again when he is ready to wean so will I.  Just softly softly.  He is a stubborn little bugger so I found that if I allowed him to lead the way with lots of praise he does well.

#8 Diana_Barry

Posted 09 January 2013 - 10:13 AM

Just wanted to say that we have a cheap Ikea cot, and I also weigh a little (ha ha ha) more than 60kgs, but it holds me and (14kg) DS fine. It sounds to me like a cuddle to sleep in his own bed might be your best option for transition, then gradually transition to him settling himself once he's used to his own room again.

My DS mostly co-slept to 12 months (he did sleep a bit in his cot in our room, but usually came in with us if he stirred). Then we moved him to his own room, but cuddled to sleep. Then we transitioned to kiss goodnight & shut the door. He's almost 2, and 90% of the time he happily goes to sleep on his own.

#9 Diana_Barry

Posted 09 January 2013 - 10:20 AM

QUOTE (Lokum @ 09/01/2013, 11:06 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
We also left his door open, and a dim light on.  We found if he woke in darkness, he'd scream and not re-settle, but if he woke in light with the door open, he'd often resettle himself.

We found the opposite of this with our DS. If we leave the door open or lights on he just wants to get up and play. Just goes to show they're all different!

#10 BeYOUtiful

Posted 09 January 2013 - 10:38 AM

Holidayromp, well done on the sleep throughs, feels good hey.

It sounds to me like a cuddle to sleep in his own bed might be your best option for transition, then gradually transition to him settling himself once he's used to his own room again

Sounds like a good plan too, thanks.  I think you may be right.

I am a couple of kg's over 60 too, just not sure how many so 60 sounded good, lol.

Sorry Lokum I must have been typing when you replied, thank you for the tips original.gif  The temp is tricky to work around, he usually seems ok in with me overnight.  I wake cool after having fan on, no sheets/blankets, but he seems ok.  Maybe a different story when on his own again.  

Not sure how my sister would go 5 nights with him lol.

Edited by ~Jane05~, 09 January 2013 - 11:35 AM.

#11 beabea

Posted 12 January 2013 - 03:14 AM

Just wondering what has worked for others in similiar situations?
Lay on the floor in his room until he drifts off? Sit on a chair nearby so he can still have the contact that seems to help soothe him to sleep? Or is it time to cease that too?

My philosophy is to do the least necessary. With DS that meant lying down next to him til he drifted off. He loves his bed time cuddle but doesn't need it any more. DD still gets hers. He slept on the (double) sofabed until he learned how to settle himself better, and DD is following the same.

I say just see what you can get away with - but try and think about how you might lie down with him if necessary (sturdy single, sofabed, mattresses on floor, or...?).

#12 beabea

Posted 12 January 2013 - 03:15 AM

double post

Edited by beabea, 12 January 2013 - 03:16 AM.

#13 MummaBirdy

Posted 12 January 2013 - 06:02 AM

Don't underestimate the power of talking about it with your toddler so he knows what to expect from his bedtime.
My DD (2 today!) was pretty unsettled and in our bed lots after travelling at Christmas, but I sat her down 4 or 5 times in a day and gently explained that she had her bed to sleep in and that mummy and daddy's bed was just for mummy and daddy. She has older cousins she adores so we talked about how they sleep in their own beds (not necessarily true!) To my shock it actually worked, and now she hasn't slept in ours since. She also talks a lot about sleeping in her own bed because she's a big girl.
Toddlers are very smart but I think they like to know what to expect. That's why I'm a fan of routines.

#14 BeYOUtiful

Posted 12 January 2013 - 11:16 PM

Thank you for all the replies.
Today we got him involved in putting fresh sheets on the bed. Had him get up and down and told him what a great bed it was etc etc.
Spoke with him several times about how he was going in his new bed tonight.

He went in fine, I read him books and then he wanted more and more.  I refused and said time to sleep now please lay down for Mummy.  That lasted all of 5 seconds! He was up, down, jumping, asking me was I ok, telling me he was a boy and daddy is a girl, asking me for kiss/cuddle. Then up, down,jumping etc etc.  With me laying him down repeatedly or asking him to.

ARGHH!! I seriously now understood the phrase go the **** to sleep wink.gif

When 10.30 hit I knew I had to change tact, so laid on the bed with him until he went to sleep within 10-15mins.

Looking forward to tomorrow night tongue.gif

I might try the same though and sit by the bed first so he sees that as his new routine? As well as wear him out completely during day.  He had a later sleep today which wouldn't have helped.

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