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Why can't I get excited like everyone else

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#1 Rachaelxxx

Posted 07 January 2013 - 11:46 AM

I'm turning 40 early next month and I just don't know what's wrong with me, if I was being totally honest I just wish the date would come and go, I just don't feel like celebrating my birthday this year - 40 or not  sad.gif

I have no problems turning 40 (not overly excited about it either mind you  mellow.gif ) and normally I'm the first person up for a big party.  I love hosting parties, especially when they are just because parties  biggrin.gif .

We've been to a few 40th in the last couple of years that are "big" events and I don't know if it's because I have a case of the can't be bothered's or if it's because money is a bit tight at the moment and I couldn't compete, but I really feel like I'm throwing this party for the sake of everyone else  sad.gif .

I'm turning 40, life is great for us right now, why am I feeling like this ??????

#2 HeartMyBoys

Posted 07 January 2013 - 11:52 AM

My good friend who turned 40 recently went away, just her and her hubby, to celebrate it. You could do the same if you dont feel like a party.

#3 Rachaelxxx

Posted 07 January 2013 - 11:58 AM

The problem is I feel like I was pushed into having a party and I know I'm a big person, but it just felt like the easiest way to keep everyone happy and not upset or exclude everyone.  Yes it's my birthday, but trust me, it just feels easier this way.  I just wish I could get excited about it.

#4 FeralProudSwahili

Posted 07 January 2013 - 11:59 AM

I'm turning 40 this year and I have no intention of having a party, big or otherwise. Dinner somewhere special with immediate family and then a week away, somewhere tropical, is what I'm hoping to do.

Maybe deep down, you're not as cool about turning 40 as you think? Or maybe the money thing is getting to you?

#5 noi'mnot

Posted 07 January 2013 - 12:01 PM

Maybe because 40 is just another year. Just like 30 or 50, or 34 or 52 or 67. Maybe arbitrary numbers just don't have that much meaning to you.

It's not a big deal if you don't have a big birthday bash, if people ask just say you don't care enough to bother.

Edited by noi'mnot, 07 January 2013 - 12:01 PM.

#6 FeralProudSwahili

Posted 07 January 2013 - 12:01 PM

Your birthday should be about YOU, not pleasing everyone else. Especially a 'big' one like your 40th. If you don't want a party, don't do it.

#7 BadCat

Posted 07 January 2013 - 12:10 PM

Don't have a party if you don't want to.  To hell with what everyone else wants.

It's YOUR birthday, do what YOU want to do.  I largely ignore my birthdays.

Edited by BadCat, 07 January 2013 - 12:10 PM.

#8 wildboys

Posted 07 January 2013 - 01:39 PM

I understand what you are feeling.  I'm with Swahili,  I too am turning 40 this year and have decided to go on a family holiday.

My present will be a girls surf trip to Bali.  So I get to celebrate twice lol!!!  And the best part is no party to worry about as from previous experience it all ends up about everyone else, I am soo over drama original.gif

You should do what makes YOU happy!

#9 ~~HappyMummy~~

Posted 07 January 2013 - 01:42 PM

I turned 40 last year.  Hubby and I had a sw**ky weekend away (kids at grandparents). Loved it.

#10 Feral Grey Mare

Posted 07 January 2013 - 01:45 PM

Afraid I just don't get the need to make a fuss of adult's birthdays.

#11 Leggy

Posted 07 January 2013 - 01:45 PM

Tell people you're just not feeling like organising a big party yourself and if they think you really need one, they'll have to throw you a surprise party.

#12 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 07 January 2013 - 01:46 PM

QUOTE (Swahili @ 07/01/2013, 11:59 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Maybe deep down, you're not as cool about turning 40 as you think? Or maybe the money thing is getting to you?

QUOTE (Swahili @ 07/01/2013, 12:01 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Your birthday should be about YOU, not pleasing everyone else. Especially a 'big' one like your 40th. If you don't want a party, don't do it.

Agree with Swahili on both accounts.

Quite a few of my friends have turned 40 over the past few years, as well as me.  There has been a range of everything - big sw**ky party in a luxury restaurant, BBQ get-together in the backyard, hiring a hall and self-catering a party, as well as a few people who took off for a family holiday, a weekend away with their partner, etc and didn't throw a party as such. I know two people who simply treated it as a regular birthday and just did what they normally do for their birthday.  All of them were great, no-one expected that someone should be keeping up with what others were doing.

Do what you WANT, not what you think you should.  

And yes, having to pull the belt in on spending does generally lead me to be unenthusiastic about celebrations that I would normally go ape over.  original.gif

#13 twinboys

Posted 07 January 2013 - 01:50 PM

I hated turning 40 two years ago  wwhistle.gif

I had a dinner party with 7 girlfriends ( 8 of us in total) - No kids and no husbands!
I prepared the dinner but paid $50 to a friends little sister to act as a waitress and to wash the dishes.

It was so much fun and a couple of my friends have said they haven't had such a fun night in years.

We just sat and talked and laughed and relaxed!
2 of the girls were not drinking so they drove a couple of the tipsy ones home so there was no pressure or guessing about drink driving either.

#14 newphase

Posted 07 January 2013 - 02:39 PM

Another turning forty this year, a month after you OP.
I can't be bothered with a party either, as then I'd have to clean, cater......and I can't be bothered and have no money to do it otherwise.

Probably will just be a low key family affair (Mum, sis and my kids), and a dinner out with friends for ME time!!

Not much we can do about the number, could be a lot worse, a friend born on the same day is me is turning 60...that would suck! ohmy.gif  ph34r.gif

#15 cinnabubble

Posted 07 January 2013 - 06:28 PM

QUOTE (Old Grey Mare @ 07/01/2013, 02:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Afraid I just don't get the need to make a fuss of adult's birthdays.

I agree. It's a birthday. You've already had 39 of them. Why fuss about it?

#16 censura carnero

Posted 07 January 2013 - 06:37 PM

It's quite odd how turning 40 seems to have morphed into a huge deal.  I remember my mum's 40th.  It was take away chinese at my nanna and poppa's house.  Just us kids, mum and the grandparents.  Dad was away on a work trip.  

I have been to some pretty epic 40ths of my my own peers.  I don't think I'll do a party either.  I absolutely hate the stress of hosting parties.  A weekend away with friends in a wine region is what we did for my DH.  I think I would like to do an overseas trip with my family.  My birthday is boxing day so perhaps my first white Christmas somewhere in Europe would be lovely.

#17 Gudrun

Posted 07 January 2013 - 07:00 PM

Long time since I turned 40 but if you don't want a party but feel it is easiest to have one morph it into a sleepover. You provide floor, and anything else you happen to have spare for sleeping and the guests provide everything else, food, drink, etc and sleeping bags as required.

You could get out the leggos, board games or whatever you have for some impromptu but focussed and convivial fun (or they could optionally bring their own favourites).  

And then after that as the saying used to go at least, 'Life begins at 40.'

#18 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 07 January 2013 - 07:04 PM

QUOTE (cinnabubble @ 07/01/2013, 06:28 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I agree. It's a birthday. You've already had 39 of them. Why fuss about it?

it's an opportunity every decade to catch up with friends and family from far and near.  If all these people live near you, maybe it's not a big deal.  And if you don't give a crap about family & friends, maybe it's also not a big deal.  But it can mean a big deal to a lot of people when it is an opportunity for a rare get-together - once in a decade, just for you.

And as a lot of people have mentioned, you can celebrate your decade anniversary in so many different ways - with a cast of hundreds, or a weekend away with just family, or a European holiday.  Who cares?  Provided you have enjoyed yourself and do whatever takes your fancy.

#19 KT1978

Posted 07 January 2013 - 07:17 PM

Birthdays are for the young, I've failed to see the point of them since I hit 25. If my parents and family would stop, I'd cease acknowledging it altogether.

Why do you feel any need to throw a party to please others?

#20 **Xena**

Posted 07 January 2013 - 09:29 PM

I love birthdays and all of mine tend to involve some kind of celebration. However I choose to do that. I wouldn't be happy celebrating my birthday in a way someone else wanted if I knew it wasn't something I enjoyed.

#21 antonietta8

Posted 07 January 2013 - 09:46 PM

I turn 40 2morro. Not having party either...2 much botha.
Havin a wk of lil celebrations instead. 2morro goin out bit wiv mum n dad then spendin rest of day wiv hubby n kids. 2morro nite bff puttin on bbq but jus 5  of them & me hubby n kids....quiet celebration. Thurs evening me n sis goin out 4 late coffee afta work. Saturday 7 of us havin hi tea at the windsor hotel.
U celebrate (or not) in wat ever way takes ur fancy


#22 cinnabubble

Posted 07 January 2013 - 09:49 PM

QUOTE (antonietta8 @ 07/01/2013, 10:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I turn 40 2morro. Not having party either...2 much botha.
Havin a wk of lil celebrations instead. 2morro goin out bit wiv mum n dad then spendin rest of day wiv hubby n kids. 2morro nite bff puttin on bbq but jus 5  of them & me hubby n kids....quiet celebration. Thurs evening me n sis goin out 4 late coffee afta work. Saturday 7 of us havin hi tea at the windsor hotel.
U celebrate (or not) in wat ever way takes ur fancy


Does it take extra time to write like that? Seriously. I'm three years older than you and I know you must have been taught how to spell at some point in the last 40 years. When did you unlearn it? Why would you do that?

#23 Wise Old Owl

Posted 07 January 2013 - 09:50 PM

QUOTE (HeartMyBoys @ 07/01/2013, 09:52 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My good friend who turned 40 recently went away, just her and her hubby, to celebrate it. You could do the same if you dont feel like a party.

This is what I am doing but with the kids on a family holiday when I turn 40.  

I am not into hosting parties and I would have a lot more enjoyment from a family holiday than feeling pressured to do something I don't want to do.

#24 LynnyP

Posted 07 January 2013 - 09:56 PM

I don't have parties for my birthdays, I prefer smaller group catch ups with family and friends.  I went away with my husband for my 40th.

#25 ~~Cleopatra~~

Posted 07 January 2013 - 10:07 PM

I'm turning 40 next week and have only in the last week decided to do something lol (just dinner and drinks, nothing big). I think its because a lot of people are doing 40th parties now so you feel like you should do something.

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