Jump to content

How Many Godparents
(and would you choose atheist godparents if you're a christian?)


  • Please log in to reply
18 replies to this topic

#1 MissingInAction

Posted 07 January 2013 - 09:59 AM

I come from a Big European Family background and my DH has a very small, anglo aussie family.
We have discussed godparents loosely (we're still TTC; no kids here yet!) and have tentatively decided that we'd choose:

*my cousin who is like a brother to me (but not his DP who we love dearly)
*DH's sister (but not her DP who we love dearly)

While we love their partners, they're not married yet and probably won't be in the near future as they're just not that way inclined even though they are in committed long term relationships.  

HOWEVER, I was raised with a COUPLE as my godparents and feel that they gave me a good example of "marriage" and "christian living" etc so as much as the above mentioned people are our picks for godparents, I'd kind of like our future kid to have a couple (apart from us) to look up to or seek out if that makes sense...  THIS IS WHERE IT GETS TRICKY.  If we were to pick additional godparents, a COUPLE, this would make FOUR godparents in total.  Is that too many?!

As i said before.. it gets tricky here cos the most likely canditates for "couple godparents" would be either
Another of my cousins & his wife  (Catholic)
or
ANOTHER of my cousins & his wife (Atheist)

We're probably a lot closer to the atheist cousin couple, they're a wonderful example of a loving committed couple and have more similar child-rearing values to us however... my DH & I have been practicing Christians (bit slack the last little while, but we do hold Christian beliefs & values dear) and i'm not sure having a blatantly atheist godparent for my future child sits right with me (or whether they'd even WANT to?)
SO... what would you do?

Edited by MiaMoo86, 07 January 2013 - 10:08 AM.


#2 StinkerSlinker

Posted 07 January 2013 - 10:04 AM

.

Edited by Willoughby Chase, 01 February 2013 - 12:29 PM.


#3 Ruby Victoria

Posted 07 January 2013 - 10:05 AM

Can I ask what denomination your children would be Baptised into?

If it's CAtholic you need at least one Godparent to be a baptised Catholic but I have seen three and four Godparents at Baptisms before.





#4 IsolaBella

Posted 07 January 2013 - 10:06 AM

My sister is DSs godmother. In the meantime she got married so her and he rDH are DDs godparents.

I don't think it is necessary to have a full couple as godparents.

But if that is what you wants to do fine.

As you have not started to TTC who is to say that current DPs will one day be spouses by the time the Christening comes around?

Edited by lsolaBella, 07 January 2013 - 10:12 AM.


#5 MrsLexiK

Posted 07 January 2013 - 10:12 AM

My mum and her sister and brother are my cousins god parents so they have 3. We have chosen both my sister and one SIL, I see god parents as the people who continue to bring our child or children up in the church we have chosen. Neither are practising anything but I know they will respect our wishes.

#6 Beancat

Posted 07 January 2013 - 10:12 AM

i always thought the tradition for godparents was if the baby is a girl then two femal and one male godparents and if a boy then 2 males and one femal godparent

#7 statua angelam

Posted 07 January 2013 - 10:14 AM

Disclaimer: I was baptised as an adult and never had godparents, so I don't pretend to have a good understanding of what they can mean to a child.

But I would never ask an atheist to be a godparent.  How could they make the necessary promises with any sort of integrity?

I also don't think you need to make someone a godparent to build a good relationship between them and your children, where they can be a positive influence.  Why not seek some other way to include the atheist couple in the lives of any children you have?

#8 IsolaBella

Posted 07 January 2013 - 10:19 AM

My siblings and I all had one male, one female. None of them married to each other.

My kids have

DS1- two females my sister and DHs best female friend
DS2 - couple my brother and SIL
DD - couple my sister and BIL

DH is an only child, that is why we are heavy on my family.

#9 elizabethany

Posted 07 January 2013 - 10:30 AM

My DS (baptised Anglican) has 3 godparents (2 male, 1 female, no couples (though 2 are married to other people), who are 1 x baptist, 1 x catholic and 1 x athiest.  We read through the ceremony, and it only asked the parents to promise to bring them up Christian, the Godparents had to renounce evil and promise to teach them to be a good person. None of them had a problem with this.

It really depends, but when you have to make this decision, ask you priest for a copy of the ceremony, and what they recommend as to numbers of Godparents.

#10 Lyn29

Posted 07 January 2013 - 10:32 AM

.

Edited by bye, 29 March 2013 - 02:58 PM.


#11 MissingInAction

Posted 07 January 2013 - 10:44 AM

QUOTE (Lyn630 @ 07/01/2013, 10:32 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
OP - you can always ask your original two folk to be the godparents; if they later marry, they would still be (hopefully) setting a fine example for your children as a couple, even though only one of them would be the official titleholder.


Yeah, that's what we'll probably wind up doing.  
My only concern is that we may offend the partners who aren't title holders?  sad.gif  we do love them!!

#12 IsolaBella

Posted 07 January 2013 - 10:50 AM

My now BIL was not offended when he was not asked first time around. When he was asked 2nd time around (they were engaged and planning wedding within the year) he was very chuffed.

I was asked to be my nieces godparent, but DH wasn't. It is fairly common to only ask one half of a couple anyway. I am also godparent to my Nephew without DH as well.

Edited by lsolaBella, 07 January 2013 - 10:51 AM.


#13 TotesAmazeballs

Posted 07 January 2013 - 11:05 AM

I don't believe the godparents need to be a couple. I was baptised with a couple as my godparents and they are now divorced. I still talk to my godmother but I would have no idea where my godfather is.

DD has one of my closest friends as her godmother and DHs brother as her godfather. BIL & SIL were married at the time DD was baptised but SIL did not care she was not asked, she is an atheist as well so most likely would have declined.

DS has my brother and one of DHs sister.

#14 ~nikki~

Posted 07 January 2013 - 11:10 AM

My dd1 has my husbands best mate and my sister ago are not a couple.

Dd2 has 3 god mothers. My sister, hubby's sister and my good friend.

I felt it was important for my sister to be both as if we pass on she will care for the kids. But I also wanted  my friend and thought it was nice for Terry's sister to be involved in.

My dd1 has my husbands best mate and my sister ago are not a couple.

Dd2 has 3 god mothers. My sister, hubby's sister and my good friend.

I felt it was important for my sister to be both as if we pass on she will care for the kids. But I also wanted  my friend and thought it was nice for Terry's sister to be involved in.

#15 Mumma Franklin

Posted 07 January 2013 - 11:10 AM

Both our kids have the same godparents 4 each
My best friend and her husband and DH's best friend and his wife.
Children were baptized Anglican and church preferred Anglican godparents or at the bare minimum had to baptized in a religion they were going to have six each and include another friend of mine and a friend of DH but not there partners.

#16 Penguin78

Posted 09 January 2013 - 02:52 PM

My godfather is on my Mums side, and my godmother is on my Dad's side. I loved this, because whatever family function we were at, i always had my 'special' aunty or uncle who was just for me. I have an excellent relationship with my godparents, they are fantastic role models for me.

With my son, I wanted to do the same, have one on each side. I wanted to choose my brother, and my DH wanted to choose his brother. I ummd and ahhd because I wanted a godmother too, but also didnt want 'too many' godparents, as you lose that special connection with just 'one person' like i had.

Anyway, we decided to ask my brothers wife, but we didnt ask my BILs girlfriend. THis was his choice. My DH asked him did he want us to ask his girlfriend, but BIL didnt want to do that since they weren't engaged at that time (although had bought a house, so pretty secure!). So i understand why you dont want to ask too many, but i think if you like the partners of the people you would ask, then I would ask them too. Four SOUNDS like a lot, and will be a lot on the alter on the day, but in terms of when your child sees them, it wont be that many, because they will most likely only see one couple at a time, unless its at your functions.  

With regards to the atheist thing, Catholic requirements are you just need ONE baptised Catholic, the others can be whatever. So i reckon its up to the atheist. My DH is agnostic, and is a godparent because he agreed to support the Christian values of the parent.

#17 PatG

Posted 09 January 2013 - 02:57 PM

QUOTE (MiaMoo86 @ 07/01/2013, 10:44 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yeah, that's what we'll probably wind up doing.  
My only concern is that we may offend the partners who aren't title holders?  sad.gif  we do love them!!


Are you likely to have more than one child? You could have the partners be godparents for a second child if you happen to have one.

#18 IAmEm

Posted 15 January 2013 - 12:57 PM

I'm an atheist and was asked to be a godmother to my Anglican friend's baby. I let her know of my beliefs and said, "I'm really flattered, but are you sure you want me to be a godparent when I don't share your religious beliefs?". She said that she thought I would be a really good role model, so I agreed, because I thought it would be rude not to and I'd made my beliefs clear (and asked if the priest would be OK with it).
I've never attended a church service before, and was surprised by how religious the baptism ceremony was (I know, I'm an idiot  wacko.gif ). I felt really uncomfortable, particularly when I had to vow to bring the child up in the church, which I didn't know about at all. I didn't really feel like I could cancel on being a godparent partway through the baptism though!
So, if you are considering atheist godparents, just ensure that they know the details of the ceremony and the wording of the promises that they will be expected to make. I felt like it was disrespectful and hypocritical of me to make the promises with no intention of keeping them. I share a lot of values with my friend, but the religious sections were just a bit too much for me!

#19 silver-rain

Posted 15 January 2013 - 01:15 PM

I have 3 god parents, a couple who were friends of my parents, and my mum's brother (who was not married at the time, but I was the flower girl in his wedding when I was 4). All of them are now divorced. I still see my uncle at family things, but I don't see my other godparents and haven't since I was little. I am much closer to my brother's godparents who are lovely original.gif  

I also have a godson, but my DH isn't his godfather, he wasn't offended when my friends didn't ask him (we were married by then), but they were friends that I was closer to than he was.

DD has my best friend and her husband as her godparents, this baby will have 4 godparents as we have 2 couples (who are a brother and sister and their associated spouses) to whom we are very close, they're all committed Christians and when talking about it we couldn't decide who to ask so we're going to ask all 4 of them original.gif

Clearly I think 4 godparents is just fine!




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Life with anxiety

At times, I feel pretty worthless. In those moments, all I want to do is curl up into a ball and hide in the dark. I can try to quiet my mind, but it won?t shut up.

IVF leaves woman pregnant with another couple's twins

An Italian woman has been told the twins she is three months pregnant with are not hers.

'My mother-in-law found out our baby's gender behind our backs'

My husband and I mutually decided that we didn?t want to know our baby's sex before the birth, but his mother couldn't handle that.

What you need for the 'fourth trimester'

In my opinion, the first three months after the birth are the most intense. Here's what got me through that time after welcoming my baby.

Weaning a toddler off a dummy: a 15-day plan

Weaning your child off the dummy can be a traumatic experience for both of you. Here are some tips to help you through.

Choosing to be a solo parent

Two women share their stories of longing for a baby so much that they each decided not to wait for a partner before becoming a mum.

Asphyxia link another piece of the SIDS puzzle

An Australian study has uncovered information which could lead to a better understanding of why babies die from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Rescue dog Zoey and BFF Jasper star in adorable pics

Photographer, self-professed "crazy dog lady" and mum Grace Chon takes photos of rescue dog Zoey and her 10-month-old son Jasper together. The results are just too cute. See more on Instagram @thegracechon.

The ultimate travel stroller: the Mountain Buggy nano

We tried the Mountain Buggy nano and give it an enthusiastic thumbs up. As the ultimate travel stroller, it's practical, has great features, and looks fab, too.

Mum's heartbreak as son dies in road accident

Daly Thomas and her two young sons were walking home from church on Tuesday afternoon. Her youngest son never made it.

New Kate Spade baby bag designs

Don?t adjust your screen: this bright beauty is coming to you in full colour.

Easter gifts for babies, no chocolate in sight!

If this is your little one?s first Easter you might want to mark the occasion with something a little extra special. Here are 10 Easter gift ideas, which won't harm little teeth.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win the brand new phil&teds vibe

Check out the good looking new release of the Vibe 3 and the Verve 4-wheeler inline strollers. To celebrate their release, we have a Vibe with double kit to give away.

Baby sleep

From birth to one year and beyond, read about baby sleep, soothing techniques, routines, and sleep school experiences.

Easter gifts for babies, no chocolate in sight!

If this is your little one?s first Easter you might want to mark the occasion with something a little extra special. Here are 10 Easter gift ideas, which won't harm little teeth.

7 tips for a kid-free trip, not a guilt trip

Although I?m jumping out of my skin to take my child-free holiday, I?m dreading the goodbye. But I?m determined to make the most of it without tarnishing it with guilt or sadness about leaving the kids.

Itchibubs: clothes for babies and toddlers with eczema

Parents of children who suffer from eczema will know only too well the scratching that occurs around the clock. A new clothing range aims to help make everyone more comfortable.

Ear piercing: what age is best?

What is it that shapes our opinions on what?s an 'appropriate' age for our children to get their ears pierced? Parents share their views on how young is too young when it comes to piercing.

Caring for kids helps grandmothers stay mentally alert

Looking after grandchildren can help grandmothers ward off brain disease - but it's also possible to get too much of a good thing, researchers say.

Why I loved my third home water birth

After two water births at home, I was determined to give birth to my son the same way. I just hoped this birth would be quicker than my last two.

Revealed: 7 ways food marketers try to trick consumers

If you?re confused by food labels, you?re not alone. Next time you?re shopping for food, look out for these seven common labelling tricks.

'My mother-in-law found out our baby's gender behind our backs'

My husband and I mutually decided that we didn?t want to know our baby's sex before the birth, but his mother couldn't handle that.

 

Free Printable Activities

Keeping little hands busy

Free printable acitivity pages like colouring in, cutting, word finders, mazes, maths activities and puzzles.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.