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Ignoring the sourpusses (photography section)
48 replies to this topic
Posted 06 January 2013 - 09:13 PM
How do you deal with the naysayers, those people in your life that put your interest in photography down or just plain ignore it? The people who make you feel like anytime you put up a photo you are just bragging or attention seeking?
I know we should ignore the sourpusses in our lives, but are you actually successful in doing that? Please tell me how, because its bugging the crap out of me and I want to rise above it.
Posted 06 January 2013 - 09:16 PM
I put it down to them just being jealous. Well I know at least in my case it is.
Ignore them, continue to put your photos up online/Facebook as we all love to see them
Posted 06 January 2013 - 09:18 PM
Find new friends?
Honestly, I have never, ever experienced that. Photography has been a passion of mine for years and I only ever get nice things said about my photos. And I get people tell me they love it when I post photos on Facebook and that they really enjoy them.
I can't remember anyone ever putting it down, and if they ignore it I don't notice, but then I also don't drag out my camera at every opportunity and start taking photos, when maybe it's better to just leave it at home and enjoy the occasion.
Posted 06 January 2013 - 10:24 PM
I don't really get the jealousy part though, why must everything be a competition these days? Why is it only okay to put up unfocused, flat photographs in facebook and not okay to put up a photo that you've taken the time to compose correctly etc? (Especially if its a nice photo of a failed baking project for instance, I'm bragging about my terrible baking abilities?)! Why are crap photos "sharing" and nice photos "bragging"?
Okay, maybe I'm being a sookie la-la and this belongs in the venting section.
Edited by Peanut, 06 January 2013 - 10:28 PM.
Posted 06 January 2013 - 10:34 PM
I know for me the jealousy has always been there on their side and along with the jealousy comes the chest beating and the rest of the crap, but me personally I don't care. I guess it's just their nature to be that way.
I guess you just need to have a chuckle at their expense and get on with it and just be happy with the knowledge that you have something you love and are good at.
Posted 06 January 2013 - 10:47 PM
Teri if you find the answer please tell me. Some time ago I put up a shot on Facebook that received a lot of positive feedback, then I got an unpleasant comment from someone I least expected. I've been very selective about what I post since. I also don't get the competitiveness or jealousy, why can't everyone just be happy for others. For what it's worth I'd love to see your failed baking shot.
Edited by winkwink, 06 January 2013 - 11:37 PM.
Posted 06 January 2013 - 10:48 PM
If you're putting them on facebook, use the restricted posts function, and block them from seeing when you put up your pics. If they notice, they may get the message, if they don't, at least you don't hear from them.
Posted 06 January 2013 - 10:49 PM
Peanut , delete them like an unwanted digital file
I have lots of photo albums online . I do it for me cos I enjoy it . All subjective though. I recently won a monthly challenge and come across a couple of sourpusses. But hey, end of the day the judge chose mine , lol.
Don't let ppl suck the fun out of it.
Posted 06 January 2013 - 11:43 PM
I know, I know, I should slap myself in the face and just get over it, but I'm at a low ebb tonight and being ridiculously wussy!
Wendy, failed baking shot was scrapped in the same fit of pique that saw the failure dumped in the bin! I suspect I take better photos than I bake, which is not saying much!
Sound advice CallMeAliG, but the person making me pout is close which makes blocking them tricky. I should just ignore their sourpuss attitude like they ignore my photos. Telling yourself one thing and doing it are difficult though.
Susie, your photo totally deserved to win, it was fantastic! I get such an absurd feeling of chest-swelling pride when an "EB photographer" wins that comp, which has happened a lot lately!
Posted 07 January 2013 - 12:15 AM
I get it all the time and at the end of the day you just have to ignore. My own husband hates my photos and constantly puts my work down and it causes self doubt . I dont show him anything anymore. I was runner up in Friday photos a while ago with a kitten hanging over a clothes line. Very cute photo but I copped it big time from heaps of people on Facebook . I was cruel, should have been reported, the kitten looked stressed etc. it was all over a $20 print voucher
If it bugs you that much and they are close to you then consider speaking to them
Posted 07 January 2013 - 06:47 AM
Teri, I see critical comments all the time in photography competitions, particularly the Camera House one. I think you just need to not worry about what others think. You are a beautiful person and I love your images as they are always so full of colour, whimsy, character & story telling. These are my favourite types of images.
If someone doesn't like your photo, or if they are jealous of a recent success - that is on them. Rest assured if you can't be happy for others, you are not a very happy person yourself. Does your work make you happy? If so, that is all you need to worry about.
We have a distinct tall poppy syndrome in Australia, you can be 'good' but not 'too good'. I've been asked to shoot some significant events lately and have also been asked if someone can buy a print of mine. I declined because I don't want pressure in my photography. I do it to de-stress and because I love it. As soon as there are other people's expectations on it - I lose that precious feeling of capturing a moment that I have in my mind to shoot. So when the sourpusses come, go back to that space of what you feel and see when you take a photo. Their opinion will become less relevant because you shoot for you firstly and your creativity is what makes you pick up a camera in the first place.
Ali, I'm a little blown away that your husband hates your work. You are incredibly talented and it is sad that you don't get to share that with him. I can certainly understand why you hide your work as being put down like that from someone you love must be very hard. Never have doubt though, you are amazing and I and lots of other people simply marvel at your composition and creativity. I hope you have other people in your life that do appreciate your work and celebrate your achievements.
Posted 07 January 2013 - 06:59 AM
My own husband hates my photos and constantly puts my work down and it causes self doubtHe's a knob, your photos are great !! He's just projecting his insecurity and inadequacy.
Posted 07 January 2013 - 07:01 AM
If you are entering images in photo challenges and competitions and receiving critical comments on them take it on board as feedback and use it to improve your skills. This is, hands down, the best way to learn. Constant praise doesn't teach anyone what they did wrong and doesn't help anyone improve their photography, in fact it can have quite the opposite effect. The photographer becomes so assured they are good that they don't strive to improve.
When I was heavily involved in the local photography club and also very active on a couple of photography forums, I used to judge photo competitions. Part of the judging brief was to give feedback to the place getters in the competitions. I used to try and give feedback to every single participant because I thought that if they'd taken their time to place their photo before me for consideration, the least I could do was reciprocate with a critique.
Posted 07 January 2013 - 07:13 AM
Peanut, you should be so proud of your photographs! You are a excellent photographer. If I can ever get half your talent, I will be a happy lady.
TBH if people are bagging your photo's they really don't know what they are talking about.
Posted 07 January 2013 - 07:14 AM
mummy26, don't listen to your husband........he doesn't know what he is talking about!!
Posted 07 January 2013 - 08:25 AM
Ali, you are right, I should just ignore it or speak to them. I'm just a coward who doesn't want to make waves! You have mentioned once before how your DH has no appreciation of your photography and I really feel for you. The person who is upsetting me is not as close as that, but still close enough to make it hurt. I'm glad you haven't stopped taking your amazing photo's because of his attitude, we would all be the poorer for it if you did. You have a large legion of fans out here!
Bec, thank you so much for your kind words, they have really made their mark. You are right, why should I let someone else take away the pleasure I have in photography? What bothered me was that with my recent win almost 200 strangers (and a few EB friends!) took a moment to like or congratulate me and NOT ONE of my four FB Friends also on that site even acknowledged it. It wouldn't bother me if strangers ignored it, but it does if your supposedly nearest and dearest do. I don't normally need likes or comments to feel good about myself, but I was excited to have won for a change (and the competition is so strong with so many talented photographers so I felt pleased to be counted as one) so it was a disappointment that my family & friends ignored it.
FiveAus, you are absolutely right and I definitely agree that receiving critical comments is a vital part of the learning process. When asked I try to give suggestions on improvements too as I can appreciate its value. Its the studied indifference from someone I am close to that hurts. This person is also into photography but does not reciprocate my genuine praise for their work, nor take up my occasional offers to go out together to take photos. She is far more competitive in nature than me, truth be told I'm only in it for the fun, but I'm of the opinion that if someone has the same hobby as you then why not enjoy it together?
Thank you Silverwattle, you are very kind and I truly appreciate your words.
Okay folks, my Peanut equilibrium has returned after that little wobble last night! Its a new year and I am NOT going to allow any sourpusses to spoil my enjoyment of photography. At least I know I have cheerful and friendly fellow enthusiasts here in EB and on Flickr to share the fun with!
Thanks again ladies, I really do appreciate it!
Posted 07 January 2013 - 09:17 AM
Aw, Teri, I came a bit late to this but I say "here here" to what everyone has said. You ARE very talented. All those that are happy to put you down are not worth your time. Can you link me to your wining pic?
Ali, I get it. DH is extremely critical of everything I show him - going so far as to point out where I have gone wrong... the man can't use a point and shoot ffs! It's why I don't enter comps apart from this one. Never feel good enough.
Posted 07 January 2013 - 09:31 AM
I created a separate facebook page for my photography, that way only the people who are interested in my photos need see them and I'm not filling up non-photographer friends news feeds.
I also have a "restricted" list on my normal FB page which I can use as someone else suggested.
I'm also a "culler", nothing more satisfying than going through your friends list and blocking or defriending a few of the hanger-oners!!!!!!!
Posted 07 January 2013 - 09:32 AM
Oh, and my hubby also criticises, and has NO interest, so I dont show him. All he needs to know is that he needs to look after the kids because I'm going shooting!!
Posted 07 January 2013 - 09:42 AM
Thanks Vicki, it was my jellyfish shot that won the "Things you find in the Sea" comp. Jellyfish Fringe For what its worth, I think you should enter your photos into competitions, you are a fantastic photographer.
Shirl, I considered creating a separate page but thought it might be a bit pretentious for me to do so. You are a serious photographer who puts far more work into your art then I do, so your images deserve their own room!
Posted 07 January 2013 - 10:46 AM
Teri, I think Bec nailed it!
If you're asking for constructive criticism, then it's fine for people to give it, otherwise they should scroll over!
I would be happy to have half the skill of most in here!
Posted 07 January 2013 - 10:54 AM
Aww, thanks peanut. I have noticed a few EB snappers around to.
And M26, just wow. I show my hubby photos all the time. He evens helps me being another pair of eyes when I have trouble choosing an entry shot. I recently had a shot published in a photo mag (my first one, yay) and he was so proud, which is lovely but it's my little hobby which I love and has nothing to do with being a mummy.
Helps that he likes photography too but probably doesnt have the same time or patience.
Plus I have shown him some of your images too as well as other EBers as we often hang in the same photo places.
As for FB, they can switch off if they dont like it. lol.
ps_ I also just won a camera bag on Photo Continental. So someone must see what I see . Have also had 5 runners up in Camera House so aiming to be a bride, not just a bridesmaid
Edited by SUSIE25, 07 January 2013 - 10:55 AM.
Posted 07 January 2013 - 11:04 AM
I'm new in this section and haven't seen your photos. But I will say this - some people are attracted to those with creative ability because of something lacking in their own lives, but then go ahead and try to denigrate the very thing they were attracted to. Don't let it worry you and keep doing what you love!
Posted 07 January 2013 - 11:07 AM
Here is a hint: if you don't want to be 'pretentious' and create a separate facebook identity why don't you create a google plus one instead?
One of DPs friends has started taking his photography seriously and google plus has great resources for image storage/sharing - far better than facebook IMO.
I will out myself here as someone who could be accused of 'lukewarm enthusiasm' for photography friends. I teach at a TAFE art school and don't want to confuse my 'friend' hat with my 'lecturer' hat.
I don't think I've ever given a comment on someones photo - I don't want to give into wild cheering simply because you are my friend for something that I would give a more critical appraisal of if I were at work.
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