Jump to content

WDYT is a resonable age for kids to buy their own shoes/clothes?

  • Please log in to reply
34 replies to this topic

#1 MeHeNDa3

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:06 PM

Just out of curiousity, as the topic title says, for those with the experience of older children and the opinion of those with younger children..WDYT is a reasonable age for kids to start buying or even putting money towards their own clothing costs?

My DS1 and DD are to a previous marriage, and just spent the last 5 days with xH. DD, 10, said they were in a shoe shop during that time looking for shoes as she needed some "special occasion" shoes, being her old ones were too small. DD chose a pair of sandals ($30) and was then told she had to spend her Christmas money to buy them. DD said she didn't realise she was buying them herself.

I wouldn't dream of asking my child to purchase her own shoes at 10, I guess I would rethink that if they were shoes she didn't actually need to replace a too small pair though. For example if she already had more than enough pairs and just "wanted" them. I just assumed clothing goes under the caring for umbrella of needs until she had the means, money wise, to buy her own.

#2 SlinkyMalinki

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:09 PM

I think it's reasonable to start buying some of your own clothes - particularly if you want to spend more on a specific brand, once you're working.  

Even when I started working (15), my mum still paid for most of my clothes, though I was more likely to get them for birthdays/christmas.

#3 girltribe4

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:12 PM

I would think my nearly 13yr old should put some birthday/christmas /pocket money towards something if it was a ''want'' rather than a ''need'' but until she has a part time job I expect we will be paying for most things original.gif

#4 bluecardigans

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:13 PM

Same as SlinkyMalinky

#5 ekbubby

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:14 PM

My  girls are 13 and almost 20.

My 20 year old  has been buying most of her own clothes since she got a casual job in grade 10...however as the mum I still buy some clothes/shoes for her.

My 13 year old only buys her own when she does get Christmas and birthday money and it is something she really likes/wants.  Again as the mum I buy everything else clothes and shoes wise.

However I am almost 40 and my mum still buys me some clothes too...lol.

#6 ubermum

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:14 PM

They buy their own when they have an income. I buy everything they need until they can afford it. If they have a want before they can afford it, they can have it as a birthday or Christmas gift, or use some of their gift money.

#7 HRH Countrymel

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:19 PM

In our family when you started high school (12) you switched from getting weekly pocket money to a 'clothing allowance'.

At the start of each term Mum and Dad would put a lump sum in our bank account and we had to manage it ourselves.  

School uniforms weren't included - and sometimes I could wrangle some sneakers out of her too because they were 'for sport'.

You could buy what you wanted but the money had to cover all of your walking around expenses too (lollies, space invaders, hair gel, pizzas etc!)

It was a great way to learn how to budget (ask my sister who blew all hers on one pair of Corfu acid wash jeans in the first week of January one year!) and it meant that when Mum DID buy you something - I remember a rather glorious aqua outfit I wore to a school social in 1985 - you actually appreciated it as a kind and generous act.

I am also not a 'brand name' person to this day AND I learned to sew!

#8 Charri36

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:19 PM

Don't worry my ex is the same. Will not buy the kids a thing when they are with him apart from food. ( they hardly see him now though)

The kids are now 16 and 18, it has been this way forever.

Nope, to young to have to buy her own, pretty typical of some tight wad parents to pull that one tho.

#9 Mumma3

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:19 PM

I think it needs to be a phased in thing, with an încrease in pocket money to support it for kids too young to work.

My eldest DD is 16, and I pay for her reasonable clothing needs, ie I will spend up to $50 on a pair of jeans, but if she wants more expensive ones, she needs to pay the difference. If she is shopping with friends, and I know she needs some news tops etc, I'll give her some money for them. If she decides she just WANTS another pair of sparkly high heels or another dress for a party (because everyone has seen her other dress) then no, she pays for it! I pay for all school clothes, underwear etc but I did pay for her formal dress last year, because that was a special night and I wanted to - but we looked for a while to find something reasonably priced.

The great thing about this, is that now, she will go shopping and look at the price before she even tries something on and is always looking for a bargain.

At 10 years old, I would not expect any chîld to fund a pair of shoes, especially if the old ones were out grown. If it was me, I'd be reimbursing your DD.  I guess it depends on the relationship you have with exH if you want to talk to him about it.

#10 Expelliarmus

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:23 PM

At 10, I would expect a parent to pay for necessary items such as replacing outgrown shoes.

Gift money is for buying 'what you want'. I would expect children to gradually begin buying clothes they want as they move into the teen years while still having basics and necessaries provided by parents with a gradual transition as they become independent.

During this time I would anticipate that some items would be subsidised by parents ie. "I will supply $50 towards your xyz and you need to provide the rest" so the child can then choose which they want based on how much they are willing to part with but the full burden is not on them.

#11 Soontobegran

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:29 PM

I didn't  expect our kids to buy their clothes until they were working part time jobs and even then they only bought stuff that they really fancied and I didn't fancy paying the exorbitant prices.
I felt responsible to buy their necessary items, shoes, undies, school uniforms, sports uniforms and every day clothing until they were finished secondary college.

At age 10 I would not have had any expectation but would allow them to choose something with birthday or Christmas money if it was clothes that they wanted to spend it on.

#12 mumofsky

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:36 PM

Im the same as others - I wouldn't ever expect DD (11) to buy her own clothes and shoes unless she wanted something really unnecessary and expensive. Christmas money, to me, seems like something special that she should spend on something she wants - it's kind of in lieu of a toy or whatever so it should be up to her. I think.

#13 LambChop

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:41 PM

It's hard to say about the specifics since you're just saying one side of the story, who knows what conversation was had before the shop - I have 9 & 10 year olds, so while she might not have been lying, she may have missed out the 'full' story.

In general terms, in our society shoes are a Need and should be provided for by parents for the most part - unless like others said, if they are some junky 'want' shoe.

#14 Bob-the-skull

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:57 PM

only if it is a want and not a need...

at that age if my kids want something that is something i would refuse to buy such as a particular design or brand then yes they could spend their money on it.

Otherwise shoes and clothes are my problem for many years to come.

#15 **Tiger*Filly**

Posted 06 January 2013 - 05:07 PM


Edited by Tyrone Finkelmeyer, 26 March 2013 - 08:21 PM.

#16 Justaduck

Posted 06 January 2013 - 05:07 PM

From 12 - 15 I was given about $200 a year to cover any clothing item except bras/socks/underwear. I can see issues with saying not til they get a job. What if the older child gets at job at 14, and younger sibling not til 16? Does that mean you keep buying younger kid clothes for 2 more years?

Certainly wouldn't be forcing DD to buy shoes at 10

#17 gina70

Posted 06 January 2013 - 05:14 PM

When they have a part time job.  My  dd bought a pair of high heels with her pay recently.  She also buys the majority of her clothes too.  She is 15.

#18 MeHeNDa3

Posted 06 January 2013 - 05:18 PM

Thank you for your opinions original.gif

It's true, I wasn't there and obviously don't have the whole story. I just wouldn't expect DD to buy needed shoes out of her Christmas money.

I was already sensitive regarding exH after he blew me up at my doorstep this morning because DS1 took his mobile to his place. DS and DD both text me once or twice while they weren't here and that is unacceptable to their father, I am not to contact them or be contacted by them. I had also called exMIL recently about her telling DD she is getting solid. DD was upset as her father laughed and some other relatives where saying exMIL meant she is fat. I asked ex to stick up for his daughter and say something which he refused, so I rang her and calmly asked she not mention weight to DD as it upset her. Again, unacceptable to ex, I am to discuss the kids with him only. Put that with DS having to get up during the night to sneak some medication for his migraine as he was not allowed any, and that ex keeps telling the kids they wear glasses to be cool not because they need them..the shoes just tipped me over the WTF are you thinking edge!

I guess that highlights that no, I can't speak to him about it. We have been divorced for 8 years, and he is still a jealous, bitter man. I'm only allowed to speak to him via a stupid book.

Ugh, way to railroad my own post lol. Thank you again for the opinions!

#19 la di dah

Posted 06 January 2013 - 05:32 PM

If I said "we're buying you eighty dollar sneakers" [or whatever] and the 10 year old said no I need 150 dollar ones, I might say well are you paying the difference? If I thought the "basic" ones were just as good and it was an issue of coolness/licensing/designer brands/whatever making the cost difference.

But I wouldn't expect them to buy regular clothes/shoes with their Christmas money. At least they wouldn't HAVE to if they were willing to have basic, pleasant ones.

#20 -Emissary-

Posted 06 January 2013 - 06:17 PM

It depends.

If it's a "need" item - I would buy it until they are old enough to work and earn an income. Items such as school clothing, essential winter clothes, summer clothes, undies, socks etc.

If it's a "want" item - shoes so they can go out, dresses so they can go to a party etc then it can come out of their pocket/Christmas present money.

#21 Therese

Posted 06 January 2013 - 07:38 PM

I think that when my children are 10 I should be buying clothes and shoes. If they are super expensive ones there would be discussion about it wink.gif

#22 SeaPrincess

Posted 06 January 2013 - 08:04 PM

When they start earning their own money or if it is their own decision to buy clothes with gift money.

Having said that, as pp's have alluded to, if I'm paying, I may refuse to buy items that are unnecessary or unnecessarily expensive.

#23 FiveAus

Posted 06 January 2013 - 08:09 PM

My kids started buying their own clothes when they got part time jobs, but I still bought underwear, pyjamas, socks, school clothes and basic things like plain T-shirts, sweatshirts etc. And if I saw something I thought they'd like and it was on special, I'd buy it.

#24 mum201

Posted 06 January 2013 - 08:12 PM

15 when they can work, I would expect them to pay for most of their own 'wants'... Although at 13 I would expect them to chip in some birthday / Xmas money if they wanted super expensive sneakers. But at 10 for a pair of sandals she needed, that's just harsh

#25 kshy

Posted 06 January 2013 - 08:14 PM

My DD is almost 10 and wanted a pair of high top sneakers, she has about 10 other pair of shoes so they are definitely a want not a need. I was not going to buy them. She had the option to 'earn' them through various jobs around the house and spent the next week folding and putting away washing (I hate doing this) and she very quickly accumulated enough to add to other money she had saved. We went shopping where she discovered that she now has to buy adult converse so the price went up. I was happy to pay the difference but she decided to wait and has now bought a pair from Kmart for $12. If she gets lots of use out of them, I will be happy to replace when needed

Today she got new basketball shoes, these are definitely a need so I paid for them

1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users


Newborn baby found in a nativity scene

Police are trying to trace a woman who abandoned a baby boy in the manger of a church nativity scene.

Life would be harder without my kids

The Humans of New York Facebook page is well known for sharing touching, real stories from one of the world's biggest cities – and it's just hit the heart of parents everywhere.

Mum dresses as Wonder Woman for last day of chemo

A Brisbane mum dressed up as a superhero to celebrate the end of her chemotherapy and created a moment her family will remember forever.

How a raisin can predict a toddler's IQ

All you need to assess a child's future intelligence is a plastic cup and a raisin, according to new research.

Former Hi-5 member's cannabis hope

Former Hi-5 star Tim Harding hopes a cannabis-derived drug will help control his daughter's epilepsy, which sees the four-year-old suffering between 50 and 100 seizures a day.

The top 5 reasons your toddler throws a tantrum

Whilst to the outside world little people may appear to have it easy, it's actually not always the case – just ask any toddler who's had their toast cut up the wrong way.

Glenn McGrath thought he'd lost his wife and baby

Australian cricket ledged Glen McGrath has spoken about the moment he thought he might lose his wife, Sara and their baby daughter, Madison.


Inside my Centrelink nightmare

Mother Bec Smith has been trying for months to access Centrelink payments. A "serious error" is preventing her.

Warnings over push for hourly childcare billing

Australia's peak childcare body has called for caution around the Turnbull government's push for childcare centres to charge parents by the hour, not by the day.

Cate Blanchett thought about adopting for years

Cate Blanchett says her recent adoption of a baby girl had nothing to do with wanting a daughter after having three sons.

Kate Walsh: 'I can't have kids'

Grey's Anatomy star Kate Walsh has revealed she is unable to have children because she has experienced early menopause.

The parasite that could boost fertility

The Tsimane women of Bolivia are often revered as among the most fertile in the world - on average having 10 children in their lifetimes -- but some are even more fertile than others.

Family may sue cousin over genetics

A Melbourne couple is suing the Royal Children's Hospital for failing to diagnose a genetic disorder in their first child - an error they allege caused them to have another child with severe disabilities.

Strange things mums have done in labour

While most women in labour focus on the upcoming birth of their baby, some women do more interesting things.

Michael Clarke reveals baby's name

When Michael Clarke said he was wrapped around the finger of his little princess, he wasn't joking.

The logistics of breastfeeding twins

Our life is more or less divided into neat four hour parcels of time and it's hard to get much of anything done in the time between feeds.

How to stop people ruining Christmas

We can make a conscious effort about how we react to those curly Christmas day scenarios that can send us up the wall, or should we say chimney.

Lots of formula offers for desperate mum

The mum who was down to her last three tins of baby formula said she had received hundreds of calls and offers to send her formula.

Surviving breast cancer while pregnant

It was last thing Rebecca O'Donnell expected at 30 weeks' pregnant. One morning, while putting on her bra, she felt a pea-sized lump in her right breast.

Cot sheet brands for the nursery

With so many awesome cot sheet options these days, we thought we'd put together a list of go-to brands for you to seek out for your baby's bed.


What's hot on EB

How I survived breast cancer while pregnant

It was last thing Rebecca O'Donnell expected at 30 weeks' pregnant. One morning, while putting on her bra, she felt a pea-sized lump in her right breast.

Grieving father's letter to Bataclan terrorists: "...this little boy will threaten you by being happy and free"

A grieving father whose wife was killed in the attacks on the Bataclan Theatre last weekend has written an open letter to her killers.

5 challenges of motherhood - and how to see them differently

Despite the smiles, the sloppy kisses and the pure magic children bring to our lives, it's hard to deny that motherhood can be tough.

4 challenges of being a new dad - and how to face them

Becoming a parent is challenging – and that applies to both mums and dads.

My battle against antenatal and postnatal depression

I was five months pregnant when I realised I needed help.

Children swapped at birth will not be returned to biological parents

A boy and girl accidentally swapped on the day they were born will stay with the families who have raised them, a South African court has ruled.

A quarter of men believe they get 'man periods'

A British study has revealed one in four men believe they have a monthly cycle.

Baby deposit

How much do you need to save for a 'baby deposit'?

It's fairly straightforward to calculate a house deposit, but how much money do you need to save up for a baby?

Dad's beautiful note to his wife, a nurse

To anyone else it might just look like a picture of a mum having a nap with her toddler.

'I was a complete schmuck': Mike Baird opens up about his wife's postnatal depression

When his wife Kerryn was not well following the birth of their daughter, NSW Premier Mike Baird buried himself in his work.

Mum's desperate plea as whooping cough alert issued

A desperate mother has shared a heart-breaking video of her baby struggling to cope with a coughing fit caused by pertussis.

Coffee could help you live longer

New US research found people who report drinking three to five cups of coffee a day are less likely to die prematurely from heart disease, suicide, diabetes or Parkinson's disease.

The joy and dread of playdates

To live vicariously through your child is to rediscover anxieties you thought dead and buried.

Sick baby could die without scarce special formula, mum says

Lizzie Cann is down to her last three tins of a special formula in short supply.

Adorable toddler's strop foiled by squeaky shoes

We're probably all familiar with the pouty bottom lip and tightly crossed arms of a tot mid-strop.

More sex during World Cup created more baby boys

More sex during South Africa's World Cup meant a disproportionately high number of boys were born nine months later, a new study has found.

Win one of two ABC Shop prize packs in time for Christmas

What a boon it would be to have your toddler's Christmas gifts covered this year. We have two awesome ABC Shop prize packs to give away to two lucky winners.

Do fitness challenges really work?

Fitness challenges aren't new. There's Michelle Bridges 12WBT and a bunch of other programs if you really want to lose weight.

What are pregnant women Googling?

Pregnancy is a huge change for any woman, so it's natural we'll have questions - and turn to Google to ask them.



Can't decide?

Check out the Essential Baby Names section for some inspiration

Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.