Jump to content

WDYT is a resonable age for kids to buy their own shoes/clothes?


  • Please log in to reply
34 replies to this topic

#1 MeHeNDa3

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:06 PM

Just out of curiousity, as the topic title says, for those with the experience of older children and the opinion of those with younger children..WDYT is a reasonable age for kids to start buying or even putting money towards their own clothing costs?

My DS1 and DD are to a previous marriage, and just spent the last 5 days with xH. DD, 10, said they were in a shoe shop during that time looking for shoes as she needed some "special occasion" shoes, being her old ones were too small. DD chose a pair of sandals ($30) and was then told she had to spend her Christmas money to buy them. DD said she didn't realise she was buying them herself.

I wouldn't dream of asking my child to purchase her own shoes at 10, I guess I would rethink that if they were shoes she didn't actually need to replace a too small pair though. For example if she already had more than enough pairs and just "wanted" them. I just assumed clothing goes under the caring for umbrella of needs until she had the means, money wise, to buy her own.

#2 SlinkyMalinki

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:09 PM

I think it's reasonable to start buying some of your own clothes - particularly if you want to spend more on a specific brand, once you're working.  

Even when I started working (15), my mum still paid for most of my clothes, though I was more likely to get them for birthdays/christmas.

#3 girltribe4

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:12 PM

I would think my nearly 13yr old should put some birthday/christmas /pocket money towards something if it was a ''want'' rather than a ''need'' but until she has a part time job I expect we will be paying for most things original.gif

#4 bluecardigans

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:13 PM

Same as SlinkyMalinky

#5 ekbubby

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:14 PM

My  girls are 13 and almost 20.

My 20 year old  has been buying most of her own clothes since she got a casual job in grade 10...however as the mum I still buy some clothes/shoes for her.

My 13 year old only buys her own when she does get Christmas and birthday money and it is something she really likes/wants.  Again as the mum I buy everything else clothes and shoes wise.

However I am almost 40 and my mum still buys me some clothes too...lol.







#6 ubermum

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:14 PM

They buy their own when they have an income. I buy everything they need until they can afford it. If they have a want before they can afford it, they can have it as a birthday or Christmas gift, or use some of their gift money.

#7 HRH Countrymel

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:19 PM

In our family when you started high school (12) you switched from getting weekly pocket money to a 'clothing allowance'.

At the start of each term Mum and Dad would put a lump sum in our bank account and we had to manage it ourselves.  

School uniforms weren't included - and sometimes I could wrangle some sneakers out of her too because they were 'for sport'.

You could buy what you wanted but the money had to cover all of your walking around expenses too (lollies, space invaders, hair gel, pizzas etc!)

It was a great way to learn how to budget (ask my sister who blew all hers on one pair of Corfu acid wash jeans in the first week of January one year!) and it meant that when Mum DID buy you something - I remember a rather glorious aqua outfit I wore to a school social in 1985 - you actually appreciated it as a kind and generous act.

I am also not a 'brand name' person to this day AND I learned to sew!


#8 Charri36

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:19 PM

Don't worry my ex is the same. Will not buy the kids a thing when they are with him apart from food. ( they hardly see him now though)

The kids are now 16 and 18, it has been this way forever.

Nope, to young to have to buy her own, pretty typical of some tight wad parents to pull that one tho.

#9 Mumma3

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:19 PM

I think it needs to be a phased in thing, with an încrease in pocket money to support it for kids too young to work.

My eldest DD is 16, and I pay for her reasonable clothing needs, ie I will spend up to $50 on a pair of jeans, but if she wants more expensive ones, she needs to pay the difference. If she is shopping with friends, and I know she needs some news tops etc, I'll give her some money for them. If she decides she just WANTS another pair of sparkly high heels or another dress for a party (because everyone has seen her other dress) then no, she pays for it! I pay for all school clothes, underwear etc but I did pay for her formal dress last year, because that was a special night and I wanted to - but we looked for a while to find something reasonably priced.

The great thing about this, is that now, she will go shopping and look at the price before she even tries something on and is always looking for a bargain.

At 10 years old, I would not expect any chîld to fund a pair of shoes, especially if the old ones were out grown. If it was me, I'd be reimbursing your DD.  I guess it depends on the relationship you have with exH if you want to talk to him about it.

#10 Expelliarmus

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:23 PM

At 10, I would expect a parent to pay for necessary items such as replacing outgrown shoes.

Gift money is for buying 'what you want'. I would expect children to gradually begin buying clothes they want as they move into the teen years while still having basics and necessaries provided by parents with a gradual transition as they become independent.

During this time I would anticipate that some items would be subsidised by parents ie. "I will supply $50 towards your xyz and you need to provide the rest" so the child can then choose which they want based on how much they are willing to part with but the full burden is not on them.

#11 Soontobegran

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:29 PM

I didn't  expect our kids to buy their clothes until they were working part time jobs and even then they only bought stuff that they really fancied and I didn't fancy paying the exorbitant prices.
I felt responsible to buy their necessary items, shoes, undies, school uniforms, sports uniforms and every day clothing until they were finished secondary college.

At age 10 I would not have had any expectation but would allow them to choose something with birthday or Christmas money if it was clothes that they wanted to spend it on.

#12 mumofsky

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:36 PM

Im the same as others - I wouldn't ever expect DD (11) to buy her own clothes and shoes unless she wanted something really unnecessary and expensive. Christmas money, to me, seems like something special that she should spend on something she wants - it's kind of in lieu of a toy or whatever so it should be up to her. I think.

#13 LambChop

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:41 PM

It's hard to say about the specifics since you're just saying one side of the story, who knows what conversation was had before the shop - I have 9 & 10 year olds, so while she might not have been lying, she may have missed out the 'full' story.

In general terms, in our society shoes are a Need and should be provided for by parents for the most part - unless like others said, if they are some junky 'want' shoe.

#14 Bob-the-skull

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:57 PM

only if it is a want and not a need...

at that age if my kids want something that is something i would refuse to buy such as a particular design or brand then yes they could spend their money on it.

Otherwise shoes and clothes are my problem for many years to come.

#15 **Tiger*Feral**

Posted 06 January 2013 - 05:07 PM

----

Edited by Tyrone Finkelmeyer, 26 March 2013 - 08:21 PM.


#16 Justaduck

Posted 06 January 2013 - 05:07 PM

From 12 - 15 I was given about $200 a year to cover any clothing item except bras/socks/underwear. I can see issues with saying not til they get a job. What if the older child gets at job at 14, and younger sibling not til 16? Does that mean you keep buying younger kid clothes for 2 more years?

Certainly wouldn't be forcing DD to buy shoes at 10

#17 gina70

Posted 06 January 2013 - 05:14 PM

When they have a part time job.  My  dd bought a pair of high heels with her pay recently.  She also buys the majority of her clothes too.  She is 15.

#18 MeHeNDa3

Posted 06 January 2013 - 05:18 PM

Thank you for your opinions original.gif

It's true, I wasn't there and obviously don't have the whole story. I just wouldn't expect DD to buy needed shoes out of her Christmas money.

I was already sensitive regarding exH after he blew me up at my doorstep this morning because DS1 took his mobile to his place. DS and DD both text me once or twice while they weren't here and that is unacceptable to their father, I am not to contact them or be contacted by them. I had also called exMIL recently about her telling DD she is getting solid. DD was upset as her father laughed and some other relatives where saying exMIL meant she is fat. I asked ex to stick up for his daughter and say something which he refused, so I rang her and calmly asked she not mention weight to DD as it upset her. Again, unacceptable to ex, I am to discuss the kids with him only. Put that with DS having to get up during the night to sneak some medication for his migraine as he was not allowed any, and that ex keeps telling the kids they wear glasses to be cool not because they need them..the shoes just tipped me over the WTF are you thinking edge!

I guess that highlights that no, I can't speak to him about it. We have been divorced for 8 years, and he is still a jealous, bitter man. I'm only allowed to speak to him via a stupid book.

Ugh, way to railroad my own post lol. Thank you again for the opinions!

#19 la di dah

Posted 06 January 2013 - 05:32 PM

If I said "we're buying you eighty dollar sneakers" [or whatever] and the 10 year old said no I need 150 dollar ones, I might say well are you paying the difference? If I thought the "basic" ones were just as good and it was an issue of coolness/licensing/designer brands/whatever making the cost difference.

But I wouldn't expect them to buy regular clothes/shoes with their Christmas money. At least they wouldn't HAVE to if they were willing to have basic, pleasant ones.

#20 -Emissary-

Posted 06 January 2013 - 06:17 PM

It depends.

If it's a "need" item - I would buy it until they are old enough to work and earn an income. Items such as school clothing, essential winter clothes, summer clothes, undies, socks etc.

If it's a "want" item - shoes so they can go out, dresses so they can go to a party etc then it can come out of their pocket/Christmas present money.

#21 Therese

Posted 06 January 2013 - 07:38 PM

I think that when my children are 10 I should be buying clothes and shoes. If they are super expensive ones there would be discussion about it wink.gif

#22 SeaPrincess

Posted 06 January 2013 - 08:04 PM

When they start earning their own money or if it is their own decision to buy clothes with gift money.

Having said that, as pp's have alluded to, if I'm paying, I may refuse to buy items that are unnecessary or unnecessarily expensive.

#23 FiveAus

Posted 06 January 2013 - 08:09 PM

My kids started buying their own clothes when they got part time jobs, but I still bought underwear, pyjamas, socks, school clothes and basic things like plain T-shirts, sweatshirts etc. And if I saw something I thought they'd like and it was on special, I'd buy it.


#24 mum201

Posted 06 January 2013 - 08:12 PM

15 when they can work, I would expect them to pay for most of their own 'wants'... Although at 13 I would expect them to chip in some birthday / Xmas money if they wanted super expensive sneakers. But at 10 for a pair of sandals she needed, that's just harsh

#25 kshy

Posted 06 January 2013 - 08:14 PM

My DD is almost 10 and wanted a pair of high top sneakers, she has about 10 other pair of shoes so they are definitely a want not a need. I was not going to buy them. She had the option to 'earn' them through various jobs around the house and spent the next week folding and putting away washing (I hate doing this) and she very quickly accumulated enough to add to other money she had saved. We went shopping where she discovered that she now has to buy adult converse so the price went up. I was happy to pay the difference but she decided to wait and has now bought a pair from Kmart for $12. If she gets lots of use out of them, I will be happy to replace when needed

Today she got new basketball shoes, these are definitely a need so I paid for them




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Tot meets his heroes, falls apart with excitement

Two-year-old Quincy finished his potty training last week, and as part of his reward he was able to meet his idols.

Beautiful in our eyes: Georgia's story

I will never deny the fact that grief has a place when you give birth to a child who brings a set of circumstances very different to what you imagined. Because for nine months, I thought I knew my Georgie.

'It's been phenomenal': widower dad of quads thankful for support

There was nothing Erica and Carlos wanted more than a baby.

Vin Diesel names daughter after actor Paul Walker

The actor said there was "no other person" he was thinking about when he chose the name.

How midwives can help women who experience domestic violence

More than half of women who live with abusive partners experience violence during pregnancy.

Mum describes giving birth during Cyclone Pam

A new mother was told she must flee Port Vila hospital with her baby as Cyclone Pam bore down.

6 signs you're done having babies

There were a few signs I'm never going back to the land of maternity jeans, breast pumps and bassinets.

Marta Dusseldorp reveals breastfeeding cost her an acting job

Australian actress Marta Dusseldorp has revealed she was forced to withdraw from a Sydney Theatre Company production because a director did not approve of her breast feeding.

Female celebs (or their babies) with traditionally male names

Looking for a name that's a little bit different for a girl? Turn to names that have been traditionally used for males, as these celebs (or their parents) did.

'If you're anti-immunisation ... take a look at this picture of my son'

Greg Hughes is "an absolute shell of a man" as he and his wife Catherine struggle to come to terms with the loss of their newborn son Riley to whooping cough.

How an extrovert can raise an introvert

Introverts are often misunderstood as shy, and sometimes even rude. A timid child can be difficult to build rapport with, but it's important we nurture their sensitive natures.

Sheryl Sandberg's advice

'Choreplay': Help out at home to get more sex, Sandberg tells men

Forget foreplay. The new and improved route to intercourse is "choreplay" - it's good for your spouse, good for your house, and comes with the imprimatur of feminist du jour Sheryl Sandberg.

How to play with your baby

The first time your child learns a new skill at playtime is very exciting - for both you and your baby! Play is important to your child's development for a variety of reasons - here are some simple ideas for you to try at home.

I'm a single mother by choice

For me, being the best mother I can be means being a mum alone, at least for now. Thinking of my friends with inadequate partners, I wonder why more people don’t choose single motherhood.

Awkward wedding photos

Weird poses, surprise photobombs, bizarre editing: these are the wedding photos that should have never seen the light of day.

Four-week-old baby Riley Hughes dies of whooping cough

The mother of a four-week-old Perth baby who died after contracting whooping cough says her family has been left devastated by the loss of her "gorgeous, sweet" son.

Win a Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom prize pack

To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, we are giving away five DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!

Oh boy! Video shows family's reaction to baby surprise

Little Peyton Williams thought she was getting a baby sister named Charlee. But the two-year-old has had to settle for a doll dressed in pink after her baby "sister" turned out to be a boy.

How to help build up your baby's immune system

We all know that having a strong immune system is the best way to stay healthy – but what can we do to help it along?

'Nick, you need to call an ambulance': home birth mum's tragic death

A Melbourne mum who died after the home birth of her baby pleaded with her husband to call an ambulance because she felt she was going to die, the Victorian Coroners Court has heard.

When dads believe their baby doesn't 'like' them

Q: My two-month-old baby doesn't like me. He's perfectly content with my wife, but when I try to hold him, he gets upset and cries. I've backed off a little, thinking that he just needs a little time to get used to me, but that doesn't seem to be working. I'm starting to think I'm just not a very good dad. Is it too late for me to build a relationship with my baby?

When was the last time a stranger praised your parenting?

Wouldn’t it be great to get some nice feedback every now and then? After all, everyone likes to hear positive praise, particularly when it comes to parenting.

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

15 names on the verge of extinction

If you're looking to revive an older name, or don’t want anything near the top 1000 list, check out these rare monikers for your unique baby.

5 characteristics of great dads

It’s great to see a generation of dads who are more actively involved with caring, nurturing and loving their kids.

Why doesn't Australia have more breast milk banks?

When there’s no question that milk banks are important, why don’t we have more of them in Australia?

Carrie Bickmore announces birth of daughter

Television personality Carrie Bickmore has given birth to her second child.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

Man faces jail after giving woman abortion pill smoothie

A Norwegian man is facing jail after putting abortion pills in his ex-girlfriend's smoothie, causing her to have a miscarriage.

'He's a blessing': family of baby born without eyes

Jordy Jackson was born without eyes. He has anophthalmia, which affects one in every 100,000 babies born.

Super fit model Sarah Stage defends her pregnancy body

Model Sarah Stage has defended her pregnancy body after critics claimed her slim figure at eight-and-a-half months pregnant wasn't "normal".

Win a Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom and Peppa Pig prize pack

To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, Essential Baby and Entertainment One are giving away five bumper DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!

Why I post breastfeeding photos online

I love to take pictures of my children. In some of the pictures, my younger son is nursing.

The day I broke my baby

There are things I wish I didn't know. I wish I didn't know that companies make tiny braces, small enough to hold necks no bigger than a wrist.

The place just for dads of multiples

When a couple discovers they're expecting multiples, the dad can sometimes be almost forgotten in all the excitement and preparation. But one group offers a space just for dads of twins and higher-order multiples.

Brave mum calls for domestic violence law reform

A brave mum of two has shared details of the harrowing attacks she suffered at the hands of her partner in a bid to help other victims of domestic violence.

Why I had the new test for Down syndrome

Early last year I turned 35, and having just found out I was pregnant, I opted to have the new test for Down syndrome.

Geeky baby gear

If your family is more into Star Wars, gaming and the periodic table than most, you might want to check out these geek-chic baby items.

2015: the year of the sheep

According to the Chinese zodiac, babies born in the year of the sheep are creative and enjoy spending quiet time with their own thoughts.

Breakthrough genetic testing now available in Australia

Pregnant women will for the first time have access to locally analysed, accurate, non-invasive pre-natal genetic testing when the first Australian clinic to offer the services opens its doors next week.

Grandbabies: the babies born looking old

Not a day under 65 and a lifetime of struggle! That's the look of these newborns, who look adorably older than their real age. Social networking site Reddit recently featured user submissions of adorable grandbabies, here are our favourites.

Family kicked off flight after toddler seatbelt drama

An entire family was kicked off a Cathay Pacific flight when a misbehaving toddler refused to put his seatbelt on.

Stolen baby found after 17 years

A baby stolen from her mother's arms shortly after birth has been found through an astonishing coincidence.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Sign up now!

30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Receive a daily email from Essential Baby during April with great play tips and ideas, then submit your baby at play photos to our Playwall, Instagram or Twitter for your chance to win.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.