Jump to content

WDYT is a resonable age for kids to buy their own shoes/clothes?


  • Please log in to reply
34 replies to this topic

#1 MeHeNDa3

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:06 PM

Just out of curiousity, as the topic title says, for those with the experience of older children and the opinion of those with younger children..WDYT is a reasonable age for kids to start buying or even putting money towards their own clothing costs?

My DS1 and DD are to a previous marriage, and just spent the last 5 days with xH. DD, 10, said they were in a shoe shop during that time looking for shoes as she needed some "special occasion" shoes, being her old ones were too small. DD chose a pair of sandals ($30) and was then told she had to spend her Christmas money to buy them. DD said she didn't realise she was buying them herself.

I wouldn't dream of asking my child to purchase her own shoes at 10, I guess I would rethink that if they were shoes she didn't actually need to replace a too small pair though. For example if she already had more than enough pairs and just "wanted" them. I just assumed clothing goes under the caring for umbrella of needs until she had the means, money wise, to buy her own.

#2 SlinkyMalinki

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:09 PM

I think it's reasonable to start buying some of your own clothes - particularly if you want to spend more on a specific brand, once you're working.  

Even when I started working (15), my mum still paid for most of my clothes, though I was more likely to get them for birthdays/christmas.

#3 girltribe4

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:12 PM

I would think my nearly 13yr old should put some birthday/christmas /pocket money towards something if it was a ''want'' rather than a ''need'' but until she has a part time job I expect we will be paying for most things original.gif

#4 bluecardigans

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:13 PM

Same as SlinkyMalinky

#5 ekbubby

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:14 PM

My  girls are 13 and almost 20.

My 20 year old  has been buying most of her own clothes since she got a casual job in grade 10...however as the mum I still buy some clothes/shoes for her.

My 13 year old only buys her own when she does get Christmas and birthday money and it is something she really likes/wants.  Again as the mum I buy everything else clothes and shoes wise.

However I am almost 40 and my mum still buys me some clothes too...lol.







#6 ubermum

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:14 PM

They buy their own when they have an income. I buy everything they need until they can afford it. If they have a want before they can afford it, they can have it as a birthday or Christmas gift, or use some of their gift money.

#7 HRH Countrymel

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:19 PM

In our family when you started high school (12) you switched from getting weekly pocket money to a 'clothing allowance'.

At the start of each term Mum and Dad would put a lump sum in our bank account and we had to manage it ourselves.  

School uniforms weren't included - and sometimes I could wrangle some sneakers out of her too because they were 'for sport'.

You could buy what you wanted but the money had to cover all of your walking around expenses too (lollies, space invaders, hair gel, pizzas etc!)

It was a great way to learn how to budget (ask my sister who blew all hers on one pair of Corfu acid wash jeans in the first week of January one year!) and it meant that when Mum DID buy you something - I remember a rather glorious aqua outfit I wore to a school social in 1985 - you actually appreciated it as a kind and generous act.

I am also not a 'brand name' person to this day AND I learned to sew!


#8 Charri36

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:19 PM

Don't worry my ex is the same. Will not buy the kids a thing when they are with him apart from food. ( they hardly see him now though)

The kids are now 16 and 18, it has been this way forever.

Nope, to young to have to buy her own, pretty typical of some tight wad parents to pull that one tho.

#9 Mumma3

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:19 PM

I think it needs to be a phased in thing, with an încrease in pocket money to support it for kids too young to work.

My eldest DD is 16, and I pay for her reasonable clothing needs, ie I will spend up to $50 on a pair of jeans, but if she wants more expensive ones, she needs to pay the difference. If she is shopping with friends, and I know she needs some news tops etc, I'll give her some money for them. If she decides she just WANTS another pair of sparkly high heels or another dress for a party (because everyone has seen her other dress) then no, she pays for it! I pay for all school clothes, underwear etc but I did pay for her formal dress last year, because that was a special night and I wanted to - but we looked for a while to find something reasonably priced.

The great thing about this, is that now, she will go shopping and look at the price before she even tries something on and is always looking for a bargain.

At 10 years old, I would not expect any chîld to fund a pair of shoes, especially if the old ones were out grown. If it was me, I'd be reimbursing your DD.  I guess it depends on the relationship you have with exH if you want to talk to him about it.

#10 Expelliarmus

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:23 PM

At 10, I would expect a parent to pay for necessary items such as replacing outgrown shoes.

Gift money is for buying 'what you want'. I would expect children to gradually begin buying clothes they want as they move into the teen years while still having basics and necessaries provided by parents with a gradual transition as they become independent.

During this time I would anticipate that some items would be subsidised by parents ie. "I will supply $50 towards your xyz and you need to provide the rest" so the child can then choose which they want based on how much they are willing to part with but the full burden is not on them.

#11 Soontobegran

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:29 PM

I didn't  expect our kids to buy their clothes until they were working part time jobs and even then they only bought stuff that they really fancied and I didn't fancy paying the exorbitant prices.
I felt responsible to buy their necessary items, shoes, undies, school uniforms, sports uniforms and every day clothing until they were finished secondary college.

At age 10 I would not have had any expectation but would allow them to choose something with birthday or Christmas money if it was clothes that they wanted to spend it on.

#12 mumofsky

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:36 PM

Im the same as others - I wouldn't ever expect DD (11) to buy her own clothes and shoes unless she wanted something really unnecessary and expensive. Christmas money, to me, seems like something special that she should spend on something she wants - it's kind of in lieu of a toy or whatever so it should be up to her. I think.

#13 LambChop

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:41 PM

It's hard to say about the specifics since you're just saying one side of the story, who knows what conversation was had before the shop - I have 9 & 10 year olds, so while she might not have been lying, she may have missed out the 'full' story.

In general terms, in our society shoes are a Need and should be provided for by parents for the most part - unless like others said, if they are some junky 'want' shoe.

#14 Bob-the-skull

Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:57 PM

only if it is a want and not a need...

at that age if my kids want something that is something i would refuse to buy such as a particular design or brand then yes they could spend their money on it.

Otherwise shoes and clothes are my problem for many years to come.

#15 **Tiger*Filly**

Posted 06 January 2013 - 05:07 PM

----

Edited by Tyrone Finkelmeyer, 26 March 2013 - 08:21 PM.


#16 Justaduck

Posted 06 January 2013 - 05:07 PM

From 12 - 15 I was given about $200 a year to cover any clothing item except bras/socks/underwear. I can see issues with saying not til they get a job. What if the older child gets at job at 14, and younger sibling not til 16? Does that mean you keep buying younger kid clothes for 2 more years?

Certainly wouldn't be forcing DD to buy shoes at 10

#17 Nerileeway

Posted 06 January 2013 - 05:14 PM

When they have a part time job.  My  dd bought a pair of high heels with her pay recently.  She also buys the majority of her clothes too.  She is 15.

#18 MeHeNDa3

Posted 06 January 2013 - 05:18 PM

Thank you for your opinions original.gif

It's true, I wasn't there and obviously don't have the whole story. I just wouldn't expect DD to buy needed shoes out of her Christmas money.

I was already sensitive regarding exH after he blew me up at my doorstep this morning because DS1 took his mobile to his place. DS and DD both text me once or twice while they weren't here and that is unacceptable to their father, I am not to contact them or be contacted by them. I had also called exMIL recently about her telling DD she is getting solid. DD was upset as her father laughed and some other relatives where saying exMIL meant she is fat. I asked ex to stick up for his daughter and say something which he refused, so I rang her and calmly asked she not mention weight to DD as it upset her. Again, unacceptable to ex, I am to discuss the kids with him only. Put that with DS having to get up during the night to sneak some medication for his migraine as he was not allowed any, and that ex keeps telling the kids they wear glasses to be cool not because they need them..the shoes just tipped me over the WTF are you thinking edge!

I guess that highlights that no, I can't speak to him about it. We have been divorced for 8 years, and he is still a jealous, bitter man. I'm only allowed to speak to him via a stupid book.

Ugh, way to railroad my own post lol. Thank you again for the opinions!

#19 la di dah

Posted 06 January 2013 - 05:32 PM

If I said "we're buying you eighty dollar sneakers" [or whatever] and the 10 year old said no I need 150 dollar ones, I might say well are you paying the difference? If I thought the "basic" ones were just as good and it was an issue of coolness/licensing/designer brands/whatever making the cost difference.

But I wouldn't expect them to buy regular clothes/shoes with their Christmas money. At least they wouldn't HAVE to if they were willing to have basic, pleasant ones.

#20 -Emissary-

Posted 06 January 2013 - 06:17 PM

It depends.

If it's a "need" item - I would buy it until they are old enough to work and earn an income. Items such as school clothing, essential winter clothes, summer clothes, undies, socks etc.

If it's a "want" item - shoes so they can go out, dresses so they can go to a party etc then it can come out of their pocket/Christmas present money.

#21 Therese

Posted 06 January 2013 - 07:38 PM

I think that when my children are 10 I should be buying clothes and shoes. If they are super expensive ones there would be discussion about it wink.gif

#22 SeaPrincess

Posted 06 January 2013 - 08:04 PM

When they start earning their own money or if it is their own decision to buy clothes with gift money.

Having said that, as pp's have alluded to, if I'm paying, I may refuse to buy items that are unnecessary or unnecessarily expensive.

#23 FiveAus

Posted 06 January 2013 - 08:09 PM

My kids started buying their own clothes when they got part time jobs, but I still bought underwear, pyjamas, socks, school clothes and basic things like plain T-shirts, sweatshirts etc. And if I saw something I thought they'd like and it was on special, I'd buy it.


#24 mum201

Posted 06 January 2013 - 08:12 PM

15 when they can work, I would expect them to pay for most of their own 'wants'... Although at 13 I would expect them to chip in some birthday / Xmas money if they wanted super expensive sneakers. But at 10 for a pair of sandals she needed, that's just harsh

#25 kshy

Posted 06 January 2013 - 08:14 PM

My DD is almost 10 and wanted a pair of high top sneakers, she has about 10 other pair of shoes so they are definitely a want not a need. I was not going to buy them. She had the option to 'earn' them through various jobs around the house and spent the next week folding and putting away washing (I hate doing this) and she very quickly accumulated enough to add to other money she had saved. We went shopping where she discovered that she now has to buy adult converse so the price went up. I was happy to pay the difference but she decided to wait and has now bought a pair from Kmart for $12. If she gets lots of use out of them, I will be happy to replace when needed

Today she got new basketball shoes, these are definitely a need so I paid for them




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

11 things that will happen when you're breastfeeding

After having three children and various degrees of success feeding them all, there's one thing I can tell you: virtually nothing will go as planned.

Surgery for baby born with a tail

A baby born with a tail has had it removed after doctors feared the birth defect might cause long term damage to his lower body.

When 'skin to skin' becomes a family affair

An adorable photo of a little boy and his dad enjoying skin to skin contact with newborn twins is melting hearts everywhere.

35 hilariously weird 'top tips'

Who would have thunk it? We never knew there were so many uses for feminine hygiene products. 

Pregnancy skin woes: acne, dry skin, itchy skin

Here are some of the most common skin complaints in pregnancy and how to tackle them, face on.

Watch this fun dance class for babywearing dads

Is there anything sexier than a babywearing dad?

Parents, this is how to cut grapes to avoid choking

One mum has learnt a harrowing lesson about the best way to cut grapes to make it safe for toddlers and little kids to eat.

When your kids have totally different temperaments

Sometimes it has felt like whiplash parenting. She perches watchfully while I vacuum; he tries to climb on and go for a ride.

How do our stress levels influence our baby?

Since having my second baby a number of people have commented on how placid, content and settled he is and, similarly, many have commented on how this is a reflection of how I am with him.

Separation anxiety isn't just for kids

Despite its prevalence, most doctors tend to be reluctant to diagnose adult patients with separation anxiety.

A charm bracelet, a boy, and my beliefs questioned

I was staring at the face of my son, realising that my once steadfast decision to be open minded was quickly unravelling at the seams.

Why I'm so grateful for Hayden Panettiere's PND honesty

There are baby steps and giant leaps forward. But there are steps backwards, too. And, oh, how they can hurt your heart.

The heartbreaking story of little Moko

The mother of 3-year-old Moko Rangitoheriri said she should have picked up on the signs. {Warning: distressing content}

Kate Beckinsale and teen daughter recreate birth photo

Kate Beckinsale has recreated her daughter Lily's birth photo, 17 years after she was born.

The adult-size stroller you'll want to test drive

It's one of the biggest baby related purchases they will make, so it makes sense that parents-to-be get a chance to road test a stroller.

Pregnancy announcement shows the reality of IVF

It's a long way from baby booties or bump shots people have become accustomed to in social media pregnancy announcements.  

Soleil Moon Frye welcomes fourth baby

"Punky Brewster" is a mom again, for the fourth time. Soleil Moon Frye announced the birth of her baby boy, Story, on Instagram Wednesday.

Mum breastfeeds baby found abandoned on the street

A woman has been praised as a "beautiful mother" after breastfeeding a baby which had been abandoned at the side of a street. 

A birth with a difference: the 'natural caesarean'

We've shared stories of gentle caesareans before, but a new video shows a new option called a 'natural caesarean'.

Baby name inspiration by music genre

If you're all about the music, then you'll need a musical name for that baby. We've got all the lists for you by music genre.

Giving effective instructions to toddlers

One of the most common errors made by parents is in how they give instructions to their children.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The babies who are one in 70 million

Bethani Webb was excited to find out she was pregnant, but the first time mum did not realise she was carrying four babies not one.

Cafe offers breastfeeding mums a free cup of tea

A Sydney cafe is offering breastfeeding mums free cups of tea in a bid to show support for the right of women to nurse their babies wherever they choose.

To snip or not to snip? When the decision is not clear cut

Jamie Oliver, who considered a vasectomy, is to be a father again. A fellow dad reflects on his own decision 11 years ago

Doctors stunned by rare twins born almost six weeks apart

To everyone's surprise, Kristen Miller "kept doing better each day", keeping her second baby safe.

Baby book ideas for modern parents

Before my son was born I was given a lovely baby book full of blank pages waiting to be filled with weights and heights and first words.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

Mum tells how toddler 'nearly hung himself' in cot mishap

When Alison Johnson put her 18-month-old Caleb down for a nap, she had no reason to believe her son was in any danger.

Babies are still switched at birth? Yes, it can happen

All my panic and tears aside, my biggest question looking back is about the kind of security measures used in the maternity ward.

Doctors slammed for taking selfie with newborn

Everyone who visits a mum in hospital in the days following childbirth wants to get a photo with the new baby.

ergoPouch Twosie Sleepsuit for winter breastfeeding

Finally, there's a way to keep warm while breastfeeding through winter.

Health check: How long does sex 'normally' last?

What to do with this information? My advice would be to try not to think about it during the throes of passion.

When breastfeeding sucks: fixing common problems

From niplash to tight boobs, biting to milk supply issues, Pinky McKay looks at common breastfeeding issues and how to solve them.

10 things I've learnt in my first six months with twins

Six months on we're all still alive, and the more we get to know each other the easier the days become.

Mum's loving kiss leaves baby fighting for life

Kirsty Carrington thought nothing of giving her newborn son a kiss, little did she know it would leave the baby fighting for life.

When doing chores is your new 'me time'

After children, 'me time' looks a little different.

Get going: 14 travel strollers for families on the move

A stroller can make or break travelling with a baby or toddler. Here are 15 great single travel stroller options.

10 ways toddlers are terrific

It always pays to remind yourself of how terrific toddlers can be - they're little like this for such a short time

 

Vintage Toys

The toys of your childhood

Take a trip down memory lane with these vinage and retro toys that you may have had in your childhood or your parent's childhood.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.