Jump to content

Post hospital midwifery visits


  • Please log in to reply
19 replies to this topic

#1 OneProudMum

Posted 05 January 2013 - 08:45 AM

When both of my children were born and we left the hospital we had a visit from a Dom. Midwife who checked in on us and even checked our bedding for baby. Is this some sort of requirement or is it a service?
Can you decline the service?


Edited by OneProudMum, 05 January 2013 - 08:47 AM.


#2 akkiandmalli

Posted 05 January 2013 - 08:50 AM

It depends on the hospital. I know if your doing well at Mercy they come once but if thre are issues they will come again.
Declining ? I think you have to mention at the hospital when you have your baby.
Is there a reason you don't want a Dom to come?

#3 Phascogale

Posted 05 January 2013 - 08:50 AM

Yes you can certainly decline.  The hospital won't mind.  A lot of hospitals provide this because of the shorter stays.  It's more prevalent in the public system.  Some private hospitals also provide this but only for earlier than expected discharges.

However if you have a child that's not breastfeeding well or there are some other issues then it would probably be wise to have the appointment otherwise it will be a few more days (or a week or two) before you see the MCHN.

ETA:  I had a fairly good experience with DD3 (didn't get the visites with the others).  They never checked my bedding or anything.  They were more worried about the baby.  With DD3 she was having daily blood tests for her bilirubin levels.

But other visits that I know usually involve the newborn screen (as mum's left before this was done) and making sure that breastfeeding is going okay.  And just asking the mum about how she's going.  But like someone mentioned, it may very well be down to the individual midwife as to what's done.

If someone does come out and you aren't happy with them, make a complaint or speak to the NUM.  It's not necessarily a bad thing, but rather feedback for the midwife to modify her practice.  It may be that other mums feel the same but just haven't said anything.

Edited by Phascogale, 05 January 2013 - 09:13 AM.


#4 dirtgirl

Posted 05 January 2013 - 08:51 AM

Of course you can decline the service if you want to. When you are released from the hospital, you are no longer officially under the hospital's care, however the at-home service is provided as additional support for new mothers.
I really appreciated the visit from the Dom nurse...but I'm sure if you tell them they you don't want a visit, they will oblige.

#5 Madeline's Mum

Posted 05 January 2013 - 08:57 AM

I wish I had of declined. That woman did nothing but criticise my breast feeding, give misinformation re breast feeding and make me feel like a failure for DS not gaining enough weight.

But my experience could have been completely different had I had of had a different midwife come to visit.

#6 OneProudMum

Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:10 AM

I found part of her service beneficial but I also felt part of it as a bit of an invasion. Perhaps I just struck a bad one.

She gave me lectures about having indoor pets etc.

There was also a questionnaire that we had to go through at the hospital prior to the midwife coming with questions about weapons, drugs etc. which I found odd.

Edited by OneProudMum, 05 January 2013 - 09:17 AM.


#7 kjdean1988

Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:21 AM

I was asked to sign a "Consent to Contact" form. Basically it was to approve the maternity outreach program contacting me after being in hospital. They came twice. Day 2 & 5 of being home and all they did was weigh DS and check my incision from c-section. Im sure your well within your right to decline them coming as anything they do you can have down at your 6 week check up. I probably won't have them next time. I did this time as i didn't know what to expect (FTM)

#8 Batmansunderpants

Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:25 AM

QUOTE (OneProudMum @ 05/01/2013, 10:10 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I found part of her service beneficial but I also felt part of it as a bit of an invasion. Perhaps I just struck a bad one.

She gave me lectures about having indoor pets etc.

There was also a questionnaire that we had to go through at the hospital prior to the midwife coming with questions about weapons, drugs etc. which I found odd.


They ask about weapons and drugs for OH&S risk assessing for the midwife. They need to make sure they won't be mauled by a dog or bet at risk from people in the home.

#9 ElysianLyric

Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:26 AM

I really appreciated the at-home visits after both kids were born, but I was lucky enough to have great midwives each time.

We were part of the early discharge program with both, and I liked having the peace and comfort of being at home rather than in a busy ward, with an hour or so of uninterrupted time with the midwife to ask all my questions and have all the usual medical checks.

Neither time did the midwives seem concerned with my living arrangements - it was more about checking my recovery, making sure the baby was well, offering feeding/settling advice (super helpful the first time around) and doing the normal range of infant blood tests and checks. They didn't discharge me til I felt ready, and were happy to continue visits had I been struggling with anything. I had a friend continue to see her midwife for weeks while she navigated a torn nipple, thrush and mastitis with her first. She really appreciated the care she received.

But as everyone agrees, it will totally depend on the midwife you get - so often they're fabulous which means it's really disappointing to come up against one who isn't helpful or encouraging. Just like with labour and birth, I guess - a great midwife makes all the difference to your experience.

#10 Soontobegran

Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:39 AM

You can decline but ensure you make it quite clear when you are in hospital though.

I did Dom for a year once when the Dom midwife was on maternity leave and I was always welcomed with open arms and heaps of questions. It was actually pretty hard to get out of some homes but these were mostly first time mums. Experienced mums don't necessarily need the service as rule and I found are less likely to take aboard any advice as they have found their appropriate way to manage.

I understand that not all visiting midwives are created equal but if they check your baby bedding it is not because they are out to catch you out it is because it is their duty of care to ensure you are following SIDS recommendations. There is also a duty of care to ensure that you are well, that you have food, that you have support and that your home is generally a safe environment for everyone. You can imagine how it would be to ignore the fact that the baby was sleeping in a bassinette with a bumper and a mountain of soft toys only for it to die from SIDS.
I know some people feel offended, one of my DD's felt she was having her common sense questioned but after I explained why she asked what she did she felt better about it.
The questions with regards to weapons/drugs and pets are routine. Hospitals can not send out their staff into dangerous situations. I worked in Dom before this type of red tape was brought in and some of the places I went to were definitely extremely frightening.
The District Nurse service also has the same questionaire, it is routine and is not implying that they think you are dodgy.

Just remember, mention this before you leave hospital, save the Dom nurse from travelling for an hour only to find you are not home/will not open the door because there will be someone else who could really have benefited from that wasted time original.gif

#11 Soontobegran

Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:43 AM

QUOTE (ElysianLyric @ 05/01/2013, 10:26 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
.

Neither time did the midwives seem concerned with my living arrangements


A good midwife should be able to check without appearing to pry. There is a lot of general 'scanning' done and something only said if they believe that something could be a risk.

I do get that not all are so subtle.

#12 Chelara

Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:50 AM

The one for my DS came half an hour early (I was in the shower) she regularly works in the area so not like she expected it would take a while to find my place or get here. Commented several times about how cold my home was and that the floor boards made it cold (I just found that rude, it was winter but 10:30 am and Sydney, we don't run he heater all day), she made me turn the heater on. She was concerned that my dh and older dd weren't there (dh had taken dd to playgroup) as I'd said they might be there, she asked if I was abused as a child in front of my mum. I wished I'd declined the visit, she had no manners at all.

#13 strawberrycakes

Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:51 AM

I had one visit after DD was born, she was lovely.  Did the foot prick test & checked over DD & myself.  When the foot prick test didn't go to plan & DD was rather upset she suggested she try again whilst DD breastfed to help calm her. Worked a treat & the midwife was also able to see that DD was feeding wonderfully.

It was the midwife who suggested that she didn't see a reason why she should return but gave me her number if I wanted her to come back.



#14 .:Natty:.

Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:56 AM

I has a rude one with my third, refused to sit on my lounge so I had to go find her a seat to sit on :/ Told me I had to go lock my other two into their bedrooms so they didn't disturb her. Then went on to tell me my 3yr old had jealousy issues about the new baby and needed disciplining. Um no she has just got a new sister she is excited.
However the nurse that came out for dd2 was lovely and understanding at how difficult it was for me to have a new baby and a 12month old.

#15 Lil Chickens

Posted 05 January 2013 - 10:08 AM

QUOTE (OneProudMum @ 05/01/2013, 10:10 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I found part of her service beneficial but I also felt part of it as a bit of an invasion. Perhaps I just struck a bad one.

She gave me lectures about having indoor pets etc.

There was also a questionnaire that we had to go through at the hospital prior to the midwife coming with questions about weapons, drugs etc. which I found odd.



QUOTE (.:Natty:. @ 05/01/2013, 10:56 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I has a rude one with my third, refused to sit on my lounge so I had to go find her a seat to sit on :/ Told me I had to go lock my other two into their bedrooms so they didn't disturb her. Then went on to tell me my 3yr old had jealousy issues about the new baby and needed disciplining. Um no she has just got a new sister she is excited.
However the nurse that came out for dd2 was lovely and understanding at how difficult it was for me to have a new baby and a 12month old.


Wow I am speechless at the experiences some people have had..  With DD the midwife was an older lady (at a guess I'd say in her early 60s) and she was fantastic and gave me so much common sense advice on things I'd struggled with in the first few days at home.  She also booked in a second visit as DD was slow gaining weight.  The second one was also fantastic.  DD came before our house was finished so she came and weighed her etc in our soon to be study where we had DD set up in the bassinet off her pram with a heater while DH, myself, mum and dad and my sister all worked on finishing the house so we could move in (we were living next door at the time).  Then the council MCHN came and she too was fantastic (if a little ditzy).

With DS I had the dom care midwife come every day for on the Sunday when DS was two days old (DDs birthday) so she had to work around visiting family, DDS excitement at presents and so on.  She was fantastic.  I'd had a caesar with DD and recovered much better than me vaginal birth with DS so she gave me some great advice on recovery.

Then DS went back to the hospital on the Monday with jaundice and after we were released on the Wednesday the Dom Care nurses came every day for a little over a week to track his bilirubin levels.  I couldn't fault the care they gave us.  I wish everyone had the same experiences.

#16 OneProudMum

Posted 05 January 2013 - 10:15 AM

My experience wasn't particularly bad. I would still utilise the service. I just wondered whether it was some sort of requirement. I suppose because the hospital where I give birth is not overly open about patients rights etc. and you kind of get the impression you don't have the choice.

We only had 1 visit. She was quite good, she just made a couple of comments about pets and I felt she was being a bit judgmental which is a bit hard to swallow in those first few days.

#17 Oriental lily

Posted 05 January 2013 - 11:01 AM

My experience has mostly been good.
With my last child however  she tried to bully me to sign up for a triple p parenting course.

It made me feel a bit defensive. I had a little whinge about how hard it was to have a school age child, a two year old and newborn and she then spent the next 10 minutes encouraging me to get help.

I felt it was a bit if an overreaction on her behalf.

It was totally in the zone of baby blues and she made me feel I was not coping.

Looking back now I was fine. Just tired and a little overwhelmed.I just needed a bit of a sook and a kind word of encouragement.

Not enrolled in parenting lessons.!

Other than that i have enjoyed the visits.

Normally they need to finish up filling up the blue book anyway and the heel prick test needs done.

Also reassuring to know that weight gain is going up, not down.

#18 kadoodle

Posted 05 January 2013 - 11:12 AM

QUOTE (soontobegran @ 05/01/2013, 10:39 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It was actually pretty hard to get out of some homes but these were mostly first time mums. e.


Sorry.

When the Dom Midwife came to see me after DS1, I was totally freaked at the idea of a boy and she had to stay and chat and reassure me that foreskins were not all that frightening and that he'd grow into his nose.

Is there a commission on signing people up for the Triple P course?  It's pushed everywhere since I had DS2.


#19 FeralLIfeHacker

Posted 05 January 2013 - 11:15 AM

..

Edited by lifehacker, 13 January 2013 - 11:29 AM.


#20 TheVerticalPronoun

Posted 05 January 2013 - 12:20 PM

I'm not familiar with the phrase 'Dom care midwife', but I had 3 visits from hospital midwives after coming home. They were pretty awful. I. Had two different midwives, and they both came in and just talked AT me for about two hours, rather then discussing my concerns etc. They both also tended to focus on the negatives, like spending 40 minutes going into exactly what would happen if the baby hadn't gained enough weight BEFORE weighing the baby. He'd gained plenty, so that was 40 minutes of worrying and lecturing I didn't need!


I also found it quite rich that they spent so long telling me how I needed to be getting plenty of rest and eating enough, while I was exhausted and starving, waiting for them to leave so I could do just that. They were both just quite stern and bossy, rather than supportive and helpful.


It was such a shame, because I birthed in a birth centre with wonderful midwives, but because I live quite far from the centre I had to have visits from local hospital midwives.


I probably wouldn't decline the visits next time (unless everything went perfectly, but this time I had a lot of swelling and bruising, as well as an episiotomy) but I would be a lot more assertive and not try to follow all their ridiculous instructions. One of them told me I should be having four to six showers a day, and 12 hours sleep!


I can't discuss them at all without getting quite ranty.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

Toddler freed after getting trapped in escalator

A shopping centre escalator needed to be pulled apart to free a toddler's trapped hand.

Why I'm kind of excited about my daughter's nits

Is it weird to say that I am secretly thrilled to find that my daughter Edie has nits?

Baby born at 10:11 on 12-13-14

Well, it's actually 13-12-14 to us over here. But still, Clare Elizabeth Keane's consecutive numerical birth time is pretty special.

On holding tightly and loving fiercely

We can't live in fear. This post is about Christmas and how at this time we should be celebrating life and grateful for what we have: our loved ones who we cherish fiercely.

Babies, relatives and coping with Christmas day

Everyone will love your baby but your baby may not be so happy to be passed around a lot of new people - nor may you want to feed with an audience.

Why I won't be posting pictures of my baby on Facebook

There are pros and cons to this policy.

The myths and truths of gender swaying

Here are a few popular methods hopeful parents-to-be use to try to get a baby of their preferred gender – and what an expert says about whether they really work.

10 easy DIY Christmas decoration ideas

It's officially time to get into the Christmas spirit. Why not branch out when you put up your tree this year and add a personal touch with a few DIY decorations? We've found the perfect easy-to-make ways to put more festive fever into your home.

The dangerous new trend of glucose challenge test refusal

A dangerous trend is seeing more mothers-to-be declining a relatively simple and painless test to check for gestational diabetes.

Office of Fair Trading reveals naughty toys ahead of Christmas

The Office of Fair Trading has pulled seven toys from shelves ahead of Christmas after they fail safety tests.

Video: Baby boy's trouble with twins

These twin girls will no doubt have fun fooling people in years to come, but nobody will be as confused as baby Landon.

Long-term reversible male contraceptive on its way

Men could soon have access to an injectable long-term contraceptive which works in a similar way to a vasectomy but promises to be easily reversed.

'I tried to kill my baby': one mum's story

After bathing and dressing her three-month-old son, Amanda had a rare moment alone with her baby.

Attack of the 'mummy brain'

I feel that almost every day, someone in my life - be they a friend, family member or complete stranger - feels the need to excuse my behaviour as I have other things on my mind.

Mum of baby who fell ill after drinking raw milk speaks out

A Melbourne mother has described how her son turned grey when he became seriously ill after drinking raw milk.

Australian divorce rate lowest since 1976

Modern newlyweds are now well into their 30s and marriage still offers something powerful a new book argues.

The aftermath of a traumatic birth experience

In Australia, 30 per cent of women find their birth experience traumatic, with 6 per cent going on to develop post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Young mum burns 'from inside-out'

A young mum is in intensive care after she took a friend's antibiotic and wound up with an ailment that is burning her body 'from the inside-out'.

The disagreement that can break a relationship

If he doesn't change his mind, all I can hope is that I will. It would be a waste to spend the rest of my marriage mourning a baby that never was.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Co-sleeping or no-sleeping? Mum videos worst nap ever

One mother's futile attempt to sleep in caught on camera in a hilarious - and very cute - video.

Why children misbehave during the festive season

While we all like to imagine the holiday season as being a fun, loving and bonding experience; often our reality is quiet different.

I was fat-shamed by my doctor

The fear of being weighed is the most significant factor in women cancelling medical appointments - and now weight-shaming has happened to me.

End of an era: no more childcare

As we reach the end of 2014, we're closing the book on many things for another year, most notably childcare. Our last child has attended childcare for the very last time.

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

The 7-year itch is more like the 10-year itch: study

Contrary to popular belief, making it past the seven-year mark doesn't mean your marriage will be smooth sailing from there on.

Should children be forced to sit on Santa's lap?

We teach kids it’s okay to say no if they don’t feel safe, so why do some parents force their children to climb in to Santa's lap?

Stop telling us that parenting gets harder

I’m sure that parenting will get harder. But life isn’t exactly smooth sailing for many of us right now, either.

Baby born weighing almost 14 pounds

Yes, the bouncing baby girl was born by caesarean section. And mum says no more kids.

The dummy debate

I'm the first to admit that when I used to see tiny babies with dummies in their mouths, I thought "Hmm, lazy parenting." And now I apologise.

'I thought I was an only child'

Imagine meeting your double at a school sports event, or regularly being mistaken for someone you haven't met. Separated twins Margaret and Joy tell their story.

Carers admit to force-feeding children

As Sydney grieves the loss of Sydney siege victims Katrina Dawson and Tori Johnson, reports have suggested that both died as heroes.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.