Jump to content

Post hospital midwifery visits


  • Please log in to reply
19 replies to this topic

#1 OneProudMum

Posted 05 January 2013 - 08:45 AM

When both of my children were born and we left the hospital we had a visit from a Dom. Midwife who checked in on us and even checked our bedding for baby. Is this some sort of requirement or is it a service?
Can you decline the service?


Edited by OneProudMum, 05 January 2013 - 08:47 AM.


#2 akkiandmalli

Posted 05 January 2013 - 08:50 AM

It depends on the hospital. I know if your doing well at Mercy they come once but if thre are issues they will come again.
Declining ? I think you have to mention at the hospital when you have your baby.
Is there a reason you don't want a Dom to come?

#3 Phascogale

Posted 05 January 2013 - 08:50 AM

Yes you can certainly decline.  The hospital won't mind.  A lot of hospitals provide this because of the shorter stays.  It's more prevalent in the public system.  Some private hospitals also provide this but only for earlier than expected discharges.

However if you have a child that's not breastfeeding well or there are some other issues then it would probably be wise to have the appointment otherwise it will be a few more days (or a week or two) before you see the MCHN.

ETA:  I had a fairly good experience with DD3 (didn't get the visites with the others).  They never checked my bedding or anything.  They were more worried about the baby.  With DD3 she was having daily blood tests for her bilirubin levels.

But other visits that I know usually involve the newborn screen (as mum's left before this was done) and making sure that breastfeeding is going okay.  And just asking the mum about how she's going.  But like someone mentioned, it may very well be down to the individual midwife as to what's done.

If someone does come out and you aren't happy with them, make a complaint or speak to the NUM.  It's not necessarily a bad thing, but rather feedback for the midwife to modify her practice.  It may be that other mums feel the same but just haven't said anything.

Edited by Phascogale, 05 January 2013 - 09:13 AM.


#4 dirtgirl

Posted 05 January 2013 - 08:51 AM

Of course you can decline the service if you want to. When you are released from the hospital, you are no longer officially under the hospital's care, however the at-home service is provided as additional support for new mothers.
I really appreciated the visit from the Dom nurse...but I'm sure if you tell them they you don't want a visit, they will oblige.

#5 Madeline's Mum

Posted 05 January 2013 - 08:57 AM

I wish I had of declined. That woman did nothing but criticise my breast feeding, give misinformation re breast feeding and make me feel like a failure for DS not gaining enough weight.

But my experience could have been completely different had I had of had a different midwife come to visit.

#6 OneProudMum

Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:10 AM

I found part of her service beneficial but I also felt part of it as a bit of an invasion. Perhaps I just struck a bad one.

She gave me lectures about having indoor pets etc.

There was also a questionnaire that we had to go through at the hospital prior to the midwife coming with questions about weapons, drugs etc. which I found odd.

Edited by OneProudMum, 05 January 2013 - 09:17 AM.


#7 kjdean1988

Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:21 AM

I was asked to sign a "Consent to Contact" form. Basically it was to approve the maternity outreach program contacting me after being in hospital. They came twice. Day 2 & 5 of being home and all they did was weigh DS and check my incision from c-section. Im sure your well within your right to decline them coming as anything they do you can have down at your 6 week check up. I probably won't have them next time. I did this time as i didn't know what to expect (FTM)

#8 Batmansunderpants

Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:25 AM

QUOTE (OneProudMum @ 05/01/2013, 10:10 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I found part of her service beneficial but I also felt part of it as a bit of an invasion. Perhaps I just struck a bad one.

She gave me lectures about having indoor pets etc.

There was also a questionnaire that we had to go through at the hospital prior to the midwife coming with questions about weapons, drugs etc. which I found odd.


They ask about weapons and drugs for OH&S risk assessing for the midwife. They need to make sure they won't be mauled by a dog or bet at risk from people in the home.

#9 ElysianLyric

Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:26 AM

I really appreciated the at-home visits after both kids were born, but I was lucky enough to have great midwives each time.

We were part of the early discharge program with both, and I liked having the peace and comfort of being at home rather than in a busy ward, with an hour or so of uninterrupted time with the midwife to ask all my questions and have all the usual medical checks.

Neither time did the midwives seem concerned with my living arrangements - it was more about checking my recovery, making sure the baby was well, offering feeding/settling advice (super helpful the first time around) and doing the normal range of infant blood tests and checks. They didn't discharge me til I felt ready, and were happy to continue visits had I been struggling with anything. I had a friend continue to see her midwife for weeks while she navigated a torn nipple, thrush and mastitis with her first. She really appreciated the care she received.

But as everyone agrees, it will totally depend on the midwife you get - so often they're fabulous which means it's really disappointing to come up against one who isn't helpful or encouraging. Just like with labour and birth, I guess - a great midwife makes all the difference to your experience.

#10 Soontobegran

Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:39 AM

You can decline but ensure you make it quite clear when you are in hospital though.

I did Dom for a year once when the Dom midwife was on maternity leave and I was always welcomed with open arms and heaps of questions. It was actually pretty hard to get out of some homes but these were mostly first time mums. Experienced mums don't necessarily need the service as rule and I found are less likely to take aboard any advice as they have found their appropriate way to manage.

I understand that not all visiting midwives are created equal but if they check your baby bedding it is not because they are out to catch you out it is because it is their duty of care to ensure you are following SIDS recommendations. There is also a duty of care to ensure that you are well, that you have food, that you have support and that your home is generally a safe environment for everyone. You can imagine how it would be to ignore the fact that the baby was sleeping in a bassinette with a bumper and a mountain of soft toys only for it to die from SIDS.
I know some people feel offended, one of my DD's felt she was having her common sense questioned but after I explained why she asked what she did she felt better about it.
The questions with regards to weapons/drugs and pets are routine. Hospitals can not send out their staff into dangerous situations. I worked in Dom before this type of red tape was brought in and some of the places I went to were definitely extremely frightening.
The District Nurse service also has the same questionaire, it is routine and is not implying that they think you are dodgy.

Just remember, mention this before you leave hospital, save the Dom nurse from travelling for an hour only to find you are not home/will not open the door because there will be someone else who could really have benefited from that wasted time original.gif

#11 Soontobegran

Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:43 AM

QUOTE (ElysianLyric @ 05/01/2013, 10:26 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
.

Neither time did the midwives seem concerned with my living arrangements


A good midwife should be able to check without appearing to pry. There is a lot of general 'scanning' done and something only said if they believe that something could be a risk.

I do get that not all are so subtle.

#12 Chelara

Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:50 AM

The one for my DS came half an hour early (I was in the shower) she regularly works in the area so not like she expected it would take a while to find my place or get here. Commented several times about how cold my home was and that the floor boards made it cold (I just found that rude, it was winter but 10:30 am and Sydney, we don't run he heater all day), she made me turn the heater on. She was concerned that my dh and older dd weren't there (dh had taken dd to playgroup) as I'd said they might be there, she asked if I was abused as a child in front of my mum. I wished I'd declined the visit, she had no manners at all.

#13 strawberrycakes

Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:51 AM

I had one visit after DD was born, she was lovely.  Did the foot prick test & checked over DD & myself.  When the foot prick test didn't go to plan & DD was rather upset she suggested she try again whilst DD breastfed to help calm her. Worked a treat & the midwife was also able to see that DD was feeding wonderfully.

It was the midwife who suggested that she didn't see a reason why she should return but gave me her number if I wanted her to come back.



#14 .:Natty:.

Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:56 AM

I has a rude one with my third, refused to sit on my lounge so I had to go find her a seat to sit on :/ Told me I had to go lock my other two into their bedrooms so they didn't disturb her. Then went on to tell me my 3yr old had jealousy issues about the new baby and needed disciplining. Um no she has just got a new sister she is excited.
However the nurse that came out for dd2 was lovely and understanding at how difficult it was for me to have a new baby and a 12month old.

#15 Lil Chickens

Posted 05 January 2013 - 10:08 AM

QUOTE (OneProudMum @ 05/01/2013, 10:10 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I found part of her service beneficial but I also felt part of it as a bit of an invasion. Perhaps I just struck a bad one.

She gave me lectures about having indoor pets etc.

There was also a questionnaire that we had to go through at the hospital prior to the midwife coming with questions about weapons, drugs etc. which I found odd.



QUOTE (.:Natty:. @ 05/01/2013, 10:56 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I has a rude one with my third, refused to sit on my lounge so I had to go find her a seat to sit on :/ Told me I had to go lock my other two into their bedrooms so they didn't disturb her. Then went on to tell me my 3yr old had jealousy issues about the new baby and needed disciplining. Um no she has just got a new sister she is excited.
However the nurse that came out for dd2 was lovely and understanding at how difficult it was for me to have a new baby and a 12month old.


Wow I am speechless at the experiences some people have had..  With DD the midwife was an older lady (at a guess I'd say in her early 60s) and she was fantastic and gave me so much common sense advice on things I'd struggled with in the first few days at home.  She also booked in a second visit as DD was slow gaining weight.  The second one was also fantastic.  DD came before our house was finished so she came and weighed her etc in our soon to be study where we had DD set up in the bassinet off her pram with a heater while DH, myself, mum and dad and my sister all worked on finishing the house so we could move in (we were living next door at the time).  Then the council MCHN came and she too was fantastic (if a little ditzy).

With DS I had the dom care midwife come every day for on the Sunday when DS was two days old (DDs birthday) so she had to work around visiting family, DDS excitement at presents and so on.  She was fantastic.  I'd had a caesar with DD and recovered much better than me vaginal birth with DS so she gave me some great advice on recovery.

Then DS went back to the hospital on the Monday with jaundice and after we were released on the Wednesday the Dom Care nurses came every day for a little over a week to track his bilirubin levels.  I couldn't fault the care they gave us.  I wish everyone had the same experiences.

#16 OneProudMum

Posted 05 January 2013 - 10:15 AM

My experience wasn't particularly bad. I would still utilise the service. I just wondered whether it was some sort of requirement. I suppose because the hospital where I give birth is not overly open about patients rights etc. and you kind of get the impression you don't have the choice.

We only had 1 visit. She was quite good, she just made a couple of comments about pets and I felt she was being a bit judgmental which is a bit hard to swallow in those first few days.

#17 Oriental lily

Posted 05 January 2013 - 11:01 AM

My experience has mostly been good.
With my last child however  she tried to bully me to sign up for a triple p parenting course.

It made me feel a bit defensive. I had a little whinge about how hard it was to have a school age child, a two year old and newborn and she then spent the next 10 minutes encouraging me to get help.

I felt it was a bit if an overreaction on her behalf.

It was totally in the zone of baby blues and she made me feel I was not coping.

Looking back now I was fine. Just tired and a little overwhelmed.I just needed a bit of a sook and a kind word of encouragement.

Not enrolled in parenting lessons.!

Other than that i have enjoyed the visits.

Normally they need to finish up filling up the blue book anyway and the heel prick test needs done.

Also reassuring to know that weight gain is going up, not down.

#18 kadoodle

Posted 05 January 2013 - 11:12 AM

QUOTE (soontobegran @ 05/01/2013, 10:39 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It was actually pretty hard to get out of some homes but these were mostly first time mums. e.


Sorry.

When the Dom Midwife came to see me after DS1, I was totally freaked at the idea of a boy and she had to stay and chat and reassure me that foreskins were not all that frightening and that he'd grow into his nose.

Is there a commission on signing people up for the Triple P course?  It's pushed everywhere since I had DS2.


#19 FeralLIfeHacker

Posted 05 January 2013 - 11:15 AM

..

Edited by lifehacker, 13 January 2013 - 11:29 AM.


#20 TheVerticalPronoun

Posted 05 January 2013 - 12:20 PM

I'm not familiar with the phrase 'Dom care midwife', but I had 3 visits from hospital midwives after coming home. They were pretty awful. I. Had two different midwives, and they both came in and just talked AT me for about two hours, rather then discussing my concerns etc. They both also tended to focus on the negatives, like spending 40 minutes going into exactly what would happen if the baby hadn't gained enough weight BEFORE weighing the baby. He'd gained plenty, so that was 40 minutes of worrying and lecturing I didn't need!


I also found it quite rich that they spent so long telling me how I needed to be getting plenty of rest and eating enough, while I was exhausted and starving, waiting for them to leave so I could do just that. They were both just quite stern and bossy, rather than supportive and helpful.


It was such a shame, because I birthed in a birth centre with wonderful midwives, but because I live quite far from the centre I had to have visits from local hospital midwives.


I probably wouldn't decline the visits next time (unless everything went perfectly, but this time I had a lot of swelling and bruising, as well as an episiotomy) but I would be a lot more assertive and not try to follow all their ridiculous instructions. One of them told me I should be having four to six showers a day, and 12 hours sleep!


I can't discuss them at all without getting quite ranty.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

How a baby can survive alone for days on end

The baby found abandoned in a Sydney drain may have been alone for up to six days without being fed, leaving many asking how he could have survived.

When it begins to look a lot like Christmas

A child's excitement at Christmas time is a beautiful thing, but one dad ponders whether his toddler daughter is getting into the festive mood a bit too soon.

Hospital lets dads the experience some of the pain of childbirth

A new experience is radically altering men's views of childbirth.

Italian doctors questioned over formula bribes

Italian police have placed 12 doctors under house arrest on suspicion of promoting baby milk formula over breastfeeding.

Heartwarming prank gives single mum the house she was hired to clean

Cara Simmons arrived at work to clean a large and beautiful house in time for a party planned for that evening. It was soon hers.

Those special moments of sibling bonding

Every now and then your child does or says something that is truly memorable.

Why we should stop telling new parents to 'enjoy every moment'

A few weeks ago, some dear friends of mine had their first baby. As the proud dad texted me a picture I had to fight the natural instinct to say “Enjoy every moment!”

Baby monitor footage posted online

Footage of Australian babies and children sleeping in their bedrooms are among the images on a Russian site showing live feeds from thousands of homes and businesses around the world.

Did this new dad really hit on his wife's midwife?

Was there really a man who was actually there by his wife’s side as she laboured and gave birth to his child, all while he was making what he perceived to be meaningful eye contact with a midwife?

Keep calm and ignore the Tantrum Trolls

Tantrum Trolls are a small but growing species of predatory bottom-feeders who delight in picking on parents at their most vulnerable.

It's okay to never 'get over' the death of a loved one

The death of children, siblings, and parents has long term impacts on the rest of our lives.

What Mark Latham needs to know about depression and motherhood

In a bizarre bid for relevancy, Former Opposition leader Mark Latham has deduced that because one female journalist had this week light-heartedly thanked antidepressants and caffeine for getting her through a medical degree while raising two small children, that ergo, all 'inner-city feminists' are selfish harridans who despise their offspring.

'We're just trying to keep our child alive': life with FPIES

We have a beautiful seven-month-old son, and his allergy rules our life.

Transgender dad breastfeeds his babies

A transgender man who breastfed his first baby - despite having his breasts removed as part of his transformation from female to male - has now had a second child.

Couple face $1 million medical bill and bankruptcy after babymoon birth

A Canadian couple were slammed with a million dollar medical bill after their daughter was prematurely during their babymoon.

Win one of 5 Little Tikes Cozy Coupe Sport

Australia?s No 1 selling car is now available in a Sports model and we have 5 to give away to some lucky Essential Baby families.

Cigarettes, junk food dominate supermarket sales growth

One in every five dollars spent at supermarkets goes on cigarettes or junk food, according to industry data.

Teacher under fire for breastfeeding in class

There is no doubt mums have a right to continue breastfeeding after they have returned to work, but one teacher in the US has taken it to the extreme.

Video: Baby sniffs beardless dad to make sure it's him

She looks him up and down and then touches his chin, but baby Lindsey still isn't sure this clean-shaven man is her dad.

The tragedy of losing a favourite teddy bear

We were green and uninitiated, perhaps a little naïve when it came to the favourite toy responsibility.

It's possible to workout while pregnant

Medical experts say intense fitness routines can be done safely during pregnancy - if the mums-to-be follow some guidelines.

Baby for Asher Keddie and Vincent Fantauzzo

Fans followed every step of her on-screen pregnancy in Offspring, now Asher Keddie is going to be a mum in real life too.

What parents really want for their kids

Are our hopes, dreams and expectations for our children what they really need?

'I had a feeling something was seriously wrong': the fight for Kaden's diagnosis

Before even giving birth, Katie Myers' maternal instincts warned her something was wrong with her baby.

Win a family pass to Disney Live!

We have 4 family passes to give away to see Disney Live! presents Three Classic Fairy Tales, touring Australia this December/January.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win one of 5 Little Tikes Cozy Coupe Sport

Australia?s No 1 selling car is now available in a Sports model and we have 5 to give away to some lucky Essential Baby families.

Join PADDINGTON on the red carpet!

To celebrate the release of PADDINGTON, we are giving five lucky winners the chance to win a family pass to the exclusive Australian Premiere in Sydney on December 7!

When your pregnancy causes a relationship rift

Some dads-to-be don't miss a beat when their partner is pregnant; others struggle with a range of issues and can become withdrawn, right when their support is needed most.

Couple uses group photo trick to announce pregnancy to loved ones

Katharine and Kris Camilli devised a clever trick to immortalise their family and friends' reactions to their exciting pregnancy news.

Why Tracey Spicer has given up make-up

"After 30 years on television, I had become what I despised: a painted doll who spent an hour a day and close to $200 a week putting on a mask."

Knowing you are one of the lucky ones

I am secure, confident and strong, but the responsibility of protecting my children can almost bring me undone.

Why I am so emotional now I have kids?

There are so many ways in which parenthood changes us as women, but one of the most noticeable, for me, has been the changing state of my emotions.

Baby survives despite sharing womb with 'foreign body'

Baby Maia was conceived against the odds, only to find she was sharing a womb with an ominous "foreign body".

Video: Baby shows dog how to jump - or vice versa

They say dog is man's best friend, but this playful pooch seems to have chosen a jumping baby as her number one buddy.

10 ways to soothe a crying baby

New paernts can get frustrated when their newborn gets fussy and can't settle down. When you're feeling overwhelmed, try some of these simple tips to help soothe your baby.

20 baby names that are becoming more popular every year

The data-lovers at nameberry.com have been at it again – this time, they’ve discovered the names that are continually rising up the ranks, ready to take out some top spots in the next few years.

10 great meals to make for new parents

Ideally, you want to give food that isn’t expensive to make, isn't too difficult to create, and freezes well; stews, bakes, soups and pasta sauces are perfect.

'It's not you, it's me': Boston bombing survivor mum to have leg amputated

Rebekah DiMartino is going through a break-up. She even wrote a farewell love letter. But it's not to her husband.

What it's like to go through early menopause

In a cruel twist, Carla had been breastfeeding and perimenopausal at the same time. But she's far from the only one to go through menopause early.

Weird pregnancy products

Some pregnancy products come to market and are just awesome. Others just leave you scratching your head.

Restaurant served alcohol to two-year-old

Busy restaurants can be forgiven for getting food and drink orders mixed up from time to time, but not when the confusion leads to a two-year-old being served an alcoholic cocktail instead of the child-friendly beverage they ordered.

Julia Morris tells of miscarriage on a flight

Julia Morris has spoken about the devastation of suffering a miscarriage while on an international flight.

Woman's survival after birth 'a story of two miracles'

A US mother is home and tending to her new baby less than a month after surviving without a pulse for 45 minutes.

Best maternity swimwear and beach cover-ups

Thinking about a tropical babymoon but have nothing to wear? Here are some great swimwear and beach cover-up options for mums-to-be.

Model's bath photo 'inappropriate'

It was a seemingly innocent photo of a family in the bath - but Facebook wasn't happy.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.