Jump to content

Post hospital midwifery visits


  • Please log in to reply
19 replies to this topic

#1 OneProudMum

Posted 05 January 2013 - 08:45 AM

When both of my children were born and we left the hospital we had a visit from a Dom. Midwife who checked in on us and even checked our bedding for baby. Is this some sort of requirement or is it a service?
Can you decline the service?


Edited by OneProudMum, 05 January 2013 - 08:47 AM.


#2 akkiandmalli

Posted 05 January 2013 - 08:50 AM

It depends on the hospital. I know if your doing well at Mercy they come once but if thre are issues they will come again.
Declining ? I think you have to mention at the hospital when you have your baby.
Is there a reason you don't want a Dom to come?

#3 Phascogale

Posted 05 January 2013 - 08:50 AM

Yes you can certainly decline.  The hospital won't mind.  A lot of hospitals provide this because of the shorter stays.  It's more prevalent in the public system.  Some private hospitals also provide this but only for earlier than expected discharges.

However if you have a child that's not breastfeeding well or there are some other issues then it would probably be wise to have the appointment otherwise it will be a few more days (or a week or two) before you see the MCHN.

ETA:  I had a fairly good experience with DD3 (didn't get the visites with the others).  They never checked my bedding or anything.  They were more worried about the baby.  With DD3 she was having daily blood tests for her bilirubin levels.

But other visits that I know usually involve the newborn screen (as mum's left before this was done) and making sure that breastfeeding is going okay.  And just asking the mum about how she's going.  But like someone mentioned, it may very well be down to the individual midwife as to what's done.

If someone does come out and you aren't happy with them, make a complaint or speak to the NUM.  It's not necessarily a bad thing, but rather feedback for the midwife to modify her practice.  It may be that other mums feel the same but just haven't said anything.

Edited by Phascogale, 05 January 2013 - 09:13 AM.


#4 dirtgirl

Posted 05 January 2013 - 08:51 AM

Of course you can decline the service if you want to. When you are released from the hospital, you are no longer officially under the hospital's care, however the at-home service is provided as additional support for new mothers.
I really appreciated the visit from the Dom nurse...but I'm sure if you tell them they you don't want a visit, they will oblige.

#5 Madeline's Mum

Posted 05 January 2013 - 08:57 AM

I wish I had of declined. That woman did nothing but criticise my breast feeding, give misinformation re breast feeding and make me feel like a failure for DS not gaining enough weight.

But my experience could have been completely different had I had of had a different midwife come to visit.

#6 OneProudMum

Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:10 AM

I found part of her service beneficial but I also felt part of it as a bit of an invasion. Perhaps I just struck a bad one.

She gave me lectures about having indoor pets etc.

There was also a questionnaire that we had to go through at the hospital prior to the midwife coming with questions about weapons, drugs etc. which I found odd.

Edited by OneProudMum, 05 January 2013 - 09:17 AM.


#7 kjdean1988

Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:21 AM

I was asked to sign a "Consent to Contact" form. Basically it was to approve the maternity outreach program contacting me after being in hospital. They came twice. Day 2 & 5 of being home and all they did was weigh DS and check my incision from c-section. Im sure your well within your right to decline them coming as anything they do you can have down at your 6 week check up. I probably won't have them next time. I did this time as i didn't know what to expect (FTM)

#8 Batmansunderpants

Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:25 AM

QUOTE (OneProudMum @ 05/01/2013, 10:10 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I found part of her service beneficial but I also felt part of it as a bit of an invasion. Perhaps I just struck a bad one.

She gave me lectures about having indoor pets etc.

There was also a questionnaire that we had to go through at the hospital prior to the midwife coming with questions about weapons, drugs etc. which I found odd.


They ask about weapons and drugs for OH&S risk assessing for the midwife. They need to make sure they won't be mauled by a dog or bet at risk from people in the home.

#9 ElysianLyric

Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:26 AM

I really appreciated the at-home visits after both kids were born, but I was lucky enough to have great midwives each time.

We were part of the early discharge program with both, and I liked having the peace and comfort of being at home rather than in a busy ward, with an hour or so of uninterrupted time with the midwife to ask all my questions and have all the usual medical checks.

Neither time did the midwives seem concerned with my living arrangements - it was more about checking my recovery, making sure the baby was well, offering feeding/settling advice (super helpful the first time around) and doing the normal range of infant blood tests and checks. They didn't discharge me til I felt ready, and were happy to continue visits had I been struggling with anything. I had a friend continue to see her midwife for weeks while she navigated a torn nipple, thrush and mastitis with her first. She really appreciated the care she received.

But as everyone agrees, it will totally depend on the midwife you get - so often they're fabulous which means it's really disappointing to come up against one who isn't helpful or encouraging. Just like with labour and birth, I guess - a great midwife makes all the difference to your experience.

#10 Soontobegran

Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:39 AM

You can decline but ensure you make it quite clear when you are in hospital though.

I did Dom for a year once when the Dom midwife was on maternity leave and I was always welcomed with open arms and heaps of questions. It was actually pretty hard to get out of some homes but these were mostly first time mums. Experienced mums don't necessarily need the service as rule and I found are less likely to take aboard any advice as they have found their appropriate way to manage.

I understand that not all visiting midwives are created equal but if they check your baby bedding it is not because they are out to catch you out it is because it is their duty of care to ensure you are following SIDS recommendations. There is also a duty of care to ensure that you are well, that you have food, that you have support and that your home is generally a safe environment for everyone. You can imagine how it would be to ignore the fact that the baby was sleeping in a bassinette with a bumper and a mountain of soft toys only for it to die from SIDS.
I know some people feel offended, one of my DD's felt she was having her common sense questioned but after I explained why she asked what she did she felt better about it.
The questions with regards to weapons/drugs and pets are routine. Hospitals can not send out their staff into dangerous situations. I worked in Dom before this type of red tape was brought in and some of the places I went to were definitely extremely frightening.
The District Nurse service also has the same questionaire, it is routine and is not implying that they think you are dodgy.

Just remember, mention this before you leave hospital, save the Dom nurse from travelling for an hour only to find you are not home/will not open the door because there will be someone else who could really have benefited from that wasted time original.gif

#11 Soontobegran

Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:43 AM

QUOTE (ElysianLyric @ 05/01/2013, 10:26 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
.

Neither time did the midwives seem concerned with my living arrangements


A good midwife should be able to check without appearing to pry. There is a lot of general 'scanning' done and something only said if they believe that something could be a risk.

I do get that not all are so subtle.

#12 Chelara

Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:50 AM

The one for my DS came half an hour early (I was in the shower) she regularly works in the area so not like she expected it would take a while to find my place or get here. Commented several times about how cold my home was and that the floor boards made it cold (I just found that rude, it was winter but 10:30 am and Sydney, we don't run he heater all day), she made me turn the heater on. She was concerned that my dh and older dd weren't there (dh had taken dd to playgroup) as I'd said they might be there, she asked if I was abused as a child in front of my mum. I wished I'd declined the visit, she had no manners at all.

#13 strawberrycakes

Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:51 AM

I had one visit after DD was born, she was lovely.  Did the foot prick test & checked over DD & myself.  When the foot prick test didn't go to plan & DD was rather upset she suggested she try again whilst DD breastfed to help calm her. Worked a treat & the midwife was also able to see that DD was feeding wonderfully.

It was the midwife who suggested that she didn't see a reason why she should return but gave me her number if I wanted her to come back.



#14 .:Natty:.

Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:56 AM

I has a rude one with my third, refused to sit on my lounge so I had to go find her a seat to sit on :/ Told me I had to go lock my other two into their bedrooms so they didn't disturb her. Then went on to tell me my 3yr old had jealousy issues about the new baby and needed disciplining. Um no she has just got a new sister she is excited.
However the nurse that came out for dd2 was lovely and understanding at how difficult it was for me to have a new baby and a 12month old.

#15 Another one

Posted 05 January 2013 - 10:08 AM

QUOTE (OneProudMum @ 05/01/2013, 10:10 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I found part of her service beneficial but I also felt part of it as a bit of an invasion. Perhaps I just struck a bad one.

She gave me lectures about having indoor pets etc.

There was also a questionnaire that we had to go through at the hospital prior to the midwife coming with questions about weapons, drugs etc. which I found odd.



QUOTE (.:Natty:. @ 05/01/2013, 10:56 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I has a rude one with my third, refused to sit on my lounge so I had to go find her a seat to sit on :/ Told me I had to go lock my other two into their bedrooms so they didn't disturb her. Then went on to tell me my 3yr old had jealousy issues about the new baby and needed disciplining. Um no she has just got a new sister she is excited.
However the nurse that came out for dd2 was lovely and understanding at how difficult it was for me to have a new baby and a 12month old.


Wow I am speechless at the experiences some people have had..  With DD the midwife was an older lady (at a guess I'd say in her early 60s) and she was fantastic and gave me so much common sense advice on things I'd struggled with in the first few days at home.  She also booked in a second visit as DD was slow gaining weight.  The second one was also fantastic.  DD came before our house was finished so she came and weighed her etc in our soon to be study where we had DD set up in the bassinet off her pram with a heater while DH, myself, mum and dad and my sister all worked on finishing the house so we could move in (we were living next door at the time).  Then the council MCHN came and she too was fantastic (if a little ditzy).

With DS I had the dom care midwife come every day for on the Sunday when DS was two days old (DDs birthday) so she had to work around visiting family, DDS excitement at presents and so on.  She was fantastic.  I'd had a caesar with DD and recovered much better than me vaginal birth with DS so she gave me some great advice on recovery.

Then DS went back to the hospital on the Monday with jaundice and after we were released on the Wednesday the Dom Care nurses came every day for a little over a week to track his bilirubin levels.  I couldn't fault the care they gave us.  I wish everyone had the same experiences.

#16 OneProudMum

Posted 05 January 2013 - 10:15 AM

My experience wasn't particularly bad. I would still utilise the service. I just wondered whether it was some sort of requirement. I suppose because the hospital where I give birth is not overly open about patients rights etc. and you kind of get the impression you don't have the choice.

We only had 1 visit. She was quite good, she just made a couple of comments about pets and I felt she was being a bit judgmental which is a bit hard to swallow in those first few days.

#17 Oriental lily

Posted 05 January 2013 - 11:01 AM

My experience has mostly been good.
With my last child however  she tried to bully me to sign up for a triple p parenting course.

It made me feel a bit defensive. I had a little whinge about how hard it was to have a school age child, a two year old and newborn and she then spent the next 10 minutes encouraging me to get help.

I felt it was a bit if an overreaction on her behalf.

It was totally in the zone of baby blues and she made me feel I was not coping.

Looking back now I was fine. Just tired and a little overwhelmed.I just needed a bit of a sook and a kind word of encouragement.

Not enrolled in parenting lessons.!

Other than that i have enjoyed the visits.

Normally they need to finish up filling up the blue book anyway and the heel prick test needs done.

Also reassuring to know that weight gain is going up, not down.

#18 kadoodle

Posted 05 January 2013 - 11:12 AM

QUOTE (soontobegran @ 05/01/2013, 10:39 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It was actually pretty hard to get out of some homes but these were mostly first time mums. e.


Sorry.

When the Dom Midwife came to see me after DS1, I was totally freaked at the idea of a boy and she had to stay and chat and reassure me that foreskins were not all that frightening and that he'd grow into his nose.

Is there a commission on signing people up for the Triple P course?  It's pushed everywhere since I had DS2.


#19 FeralLIfeHacker

Posted 05 January 2013 - 11:15 AM

..

Edited by lifehacker, 13 January 2013 - 11:29 AM.


#20 TheVerticalPronoun

Posted 05 January 2013 - 12:20 PM

I'm not familiar with the phrase 'Dom care midwife', but I had 3 visits from hospital midwives after coming home. They were pretty awful. I. Had two different midwives, and they both came in and just talked AT me for about two hours, rather then discussing my concerns etc. They both also tended to focus on the negatives, like spending 40 minutes going into exactly what would happen if the baby hadn't gained enough weight BEFORE weighing the baby. He'd gained plenty, so that was 40 minutes of worrying and lecturing I didn't need!


I also found it quite rich that they spent so long telling me how I needed to be getting plenty of rest and eating enough, while I was exhausted and starving, waiting for them to leave so I could do just that. They were both just quite stern and bossy, rather than supportive and helpful.


It was such a shame, because I birthed in a birth centre with wonderful midwives, but because I live quite far from the centre I had to have visits from local hospital midwives.


I probably wouldn't decline the visits next time (unless everything went perfectly, but this time I had a lot of swelling and bruising, as well as an episiotomy) but I would be a lot more assertive and not try to follow all their ridiculous instructions. One of them told me I should be having four to six showers a day, and 12 hours sleep!


I can't discuss them at all without getting quite ranty.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

How to talk about your pregnancy at work

The workplace isn't always a friendly place for pregnant women. Yet working women inclined to conceal a pregnancy from prying coworkers may be better off opening up and carrying on, according to a new study.

Tell us your story to win!

To celebrate Mother's Day this year we are giving you the chance to win one of five great prizes simply by telling us your story.

Where to get help to help your baby sleep

There is so much pressure about having a baby who sleeps 'all night' , it's no wonder you worry about your baby if she wakes in the night.

Vintage baby names having a comeback

What makes some names have comebacks while others silently fade into oblivion? A few factors come into play.

When your partner doesn't want you to breastfeed

Dads can have many reasons for not wanting their partners to breastfeed their baby, but both parents should learn more about it before making a final decision.

Model mum Sarah Stage shares post-baby selfie

Most new mums would recoil at the thought, but Sarah Stage has shared a post-pregnancy selfie just four days after giving birth.

I'll admit it: I have last child parenting fatigue

If you're a new mum and feeling ignored by the older mum/the old hand/the has-been, please know, it's not you, it's me. Blame the last child parenting fatigue.

Exhaustion is not the same as tiredness

Having a new baby isn't tiring - it can be downright exhausting.

Five posterior babies, four home births

I was on a high. I'd done it all by myself with no help from anyone.

Mum's list of birthday gift demands goes viral

We're big fans of kids' birthday parties - but this is one bash we're glad we didn't get an invite to.

Kate Middleton to receive 'loyalty discount' for second birth

Everybody loves a bargain - including the Duchess of Cambridge.

Fish & chip shop owner's sad note goes viral

A lengthy note put on the window of a fish & chip shop has gone viral due to the writer's serious doubts about the romance of travel.

Pregnant women need good nutrition advice, not judgment

Pregnant women are under pressure to do all the "right things" to have a healthy child. It results in women feeling judged about their decisions.

When your child wants you to have another baby

Giving your child a sibling when you don't want to have another baby can be a complex issue.

William Tyrrell's mum speaks out: 'We hope he is still alive'

The mother of missing toddler William Tyrrell says she has a vision that somebody "picked him up and moved him on ... that's the only way ... to explain for him not to be there".

Family comes first for 23-year-old Tommy Connolly

Most 23-year-old blokes spend their hard earned cash on fun times with mates or romantic dinners with their girlfriend, but not Tommy Connolly.

Newborn all-girl quintuplets 'doing great'

The first all-female quintuplets born in the United States were delivered last week, at 28 weeks and two days.

Model mum's big baby silences critics

He may be less than a week old, but baby James Hunter has already helped his model mum silence her critics.

Jammy, Hula Hoop, Rage: Reddit reveals most unusual baby names

A recent Reddit thread has revealed some of the more creative names in the world.

Woman awakens from coma, learns she gave birth

A US woman awakened this week from a four-month-long coma that doctors had feared would be permanent and learned that she had given birth to a baby boy, according to her family.

'Give us a break': mum sent shocking letter over Facebook baby pics

Posting a lot of baby photos doesn't make you a bad person. It may make your Facebook feed a little irritating, but it doesn't make you a bad person.

In defense of the dads who do so much

It's time to shift the focus off what dads aren’t doing and shine it on what they are.

The modern cloth nappies too cute to cover up

If you're only just joining the modern cloth nappy movement, or would like to spruce up your collection, we have to introduce you to Designer Bums.

How breastfeeding can affect your libido

When you’ve just had a baby, having sex isn’t usually top priority. In fact, for a lot of women it rates about as appealing as changing another dirty nappy.

Should pregnant women be allowed to use 'parent and child' car parking spots?

Is it acceptable to use these car parking spots when pregnant? How many of us would admit to doing it?

Healthy baby from sperm taken 48 hours after a man died

Fertility doctors have described their "most extraordinary case" - creating a healthy baby from sperm taken 48 hours after a man had died.

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Last chance to win a year's supply of toys

You have less than a week left to win your child one of five Fisher-Price toy packs valued at over $600 each - hurry, enter today!

Childcare is a big problem, but there's more to it

Let’s keep talking about these issues and not allow them to be put into a neat little box that’s labelled ‘Fix childcare and everything is solved’.

Pink's awesome response to body-shaming trolls

When trolls felt the need to comment on 35-year-old singer-songwriter Pink's weight, her answer was an awesome ode to body love.

Fertility clinic offers egg donors $5000

A national chain of fertility clinics is offering egg donors a $5000 payment to cover their expenses, a first for Australia which is raising concerns the money could act as an inducement.

Baby boy abandoned in India amid fresh surrogacy concerns

Australian officials could do nothing to stop an Australian couple from abandoning their baby son, born through surrogacy in India, after they decided they did not want to bring him to Australia.

Herd immunity and community responsibility: how free-riders can make kids suffer

Individual choice works for haircuts and handbags, but not for preventing infectious diseases that kill kids.

Photographer captures 'unexpected beauty' of birth

If there is one thing Leilani Rogers knows about childbirth, it is that no two deliveries are ever the same.

Expectations vs the reality of making a toddler's clothes

Note to self: less sewing, more life. Not the party dress, but the party. The toddler, as usual, has it all figured out.

Mum meets 'dead' daughter 49 years after birth

In 1965, Zella Jackson-Price was told her premature baby girl had died shortly after birth.

How pregnancy probiotics can help you and your baby

New research suggests that taking specific pregnancy probiotics could be the answer to a range of common pregnancy side effects.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

 

ENTER NOW!

Win a year's worth of toys

Last week to submit a picture of your baby at play for your chance to win. Visit the Play Wall to view our recent entries.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.