Jump to content

DS does not like crowds


  • Please log in to reply
6 replies to this topic

#1 SashaN

Posted 04 January 2013 - 05:06 PM

HI girls my DS is 4yrs 2months and i have found does not like crowds twice now we have gone to the beach and had a meltdown wanting to go then we went to a restaurant and he did not want to sit outside i think due to crowds.

Has anyone elses child done this?

Sasha

#2 beabea

Posted 08 January 2013 - 01:26 AM

Yes. Lots of kids are like this. (And lots of others aren't.) I also think it waxes and wanes with different ages/stages and according to any other stressors they may be facing at that time (eg new schools, etc).

Ultimately I think it's important they learn how to cope with these sorts of situations, but note there is a difference between "teaching them how to cope" and "expecting them to like it" or "forcing them in at the deep end" or "figuring they'll get the hang of it if you reward/punish them enough". I don't have any magic techniques, but I notice there's a "spirited kids" thread just above this one and you may want to check out some of the resources there.  In the meantime, a few to get you started:

- Ten Mindful Minutes (Goldie Hawn)
- Raising The Spirited Child (this one will be on the other thread for sure... can't remember the author)
- Motherstyles (not really about kids but it will help you think about things in terms of personality and may help you balance needs within the family)
- The Explosive Child (really written about kids with proper behavioural disorders but the techniques can be used with any child, even if that child doesn't "need" them)

Edited by beabea, 08 January 2013 - 01:29 AM.


#3 baddmammajamma

Posted 08 January 2013 - 06:49 AM

Hi Sasha:

As a fellow mother of a child who is prone to meltdowns, your post struck a chord with me. I'm sure it's hard for you (and your son) when these episodes occur.

beabea has suggested some potentially helpful resources that you might check out, but I am going to go a step further.

Whenever I see a post from someone who is worried about their child's behavior, I take a quick peek at post history (not to stalk but rather, to get greater context so my answer might be more helpful). I see that you have been raising concerns about your son's behavior ever since you joined EB.

Given that, I would suggest that it's probably time to consider more than just advice from other mothers (as nice as we are wink.gif ) or self help manuals and think about getting some good professional support. The upside is that you can get advice that is tailored to your EXACT situation -- advice that takes your son's individual circumstances into account -- rather than general suggestions of what to do. Even if there is no "issue" with your son beyond challenging behavior, a good professional will able to give you advice on how to mitigate that behavior.

Is your son still struggling with his sleep? Before we found melatonin, my daughter could go-go-go until after midnight (as a three and four year old). It was exhausting and certainly didn't help her behavior either!

Anyway, if you are interested in consulting a specialist, you can ask your GP for a referral. You'd probably be best off seeing either a good child psychologist (we would be lost without ours!) or a good developmental paediatrician. Additionally, you can check with your local community health care center, as often they have professionals on board (incl. psychologists) who can offer counsel at little or no charge.

Good luck. If your son is anything like my daughter, he has a lot of really wonderful qualities, too. The key is to find a way to make those surface more than the tough stuff! original.gif

Edited by baddmammajamma, 08 January 2013 - 07:00 AM.


#4 mumto3princesses

Posted 08 January 2013 - 07:27 AM

Hi sasha, yep my DD#2 has pretty much always hated crowds. Even now she is 9yrs she still isn't fond of busy places. There is too much going on basically and it can get a bit much for her. We were out on the weekend and she was fine for most of the day but by early afternoon she had had enough.

Great advice from BMJ. You would have nothing to loose from an assessment. And you would have answers one way or another and also be pointed in the right direction for coping strategies even if the results show he has no issues.

#5 SashaN

Posted 09 January 2013 - 09:00 PM

HI girls thanks for all of your posts and advice i really appreciate it and the books that are helpful to read I will definitely look into them.

I contacted a place here where we live that helps in assessing child behaviour and helping you work with them and helping us coping and working out what strategies are best or helpful.

They do take 6 weeks to get in but at least its a start.

Thanks for all your wonderful advice and support.

Sasha

#6 Chelli

Posted 09 January 2013 - 09:09 PM

My DD suffers from anxiety and can sometimes be adverse to crowds and unfamiliar situations. Great idea to get her some support, we took DD to a psychologist last year who gave her some coping techniques (she is older than your DS though) and it has worked a treat and really empowered her.

#7 lylac

Posted 09 January 2013 - 09:39 PM

Yes both of my two children don't like crowds.
My DS6 (ASD) doesn't like the noise, and my DD5 (waiting assessment) doesn't like other people being too close.
With the help of his Occupational Therapist my son has come a looong way!
Good Luck OP  original.gif

Edited by lylac, 09 January 2013 - 09:40 PM.





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

WIN a $500 Visa debit card

Are you a parent? Simply take our survey for your chance to win a $500 pre-paid VISA debit card.

Angelina Jolie has ovaries, fallopian tubes removed

Two years after undergoing a double mastectomy, Angelina Jolie has confirmed that cancer fears had prompted her to also remove her ovaries and Fallopian tubes.

The phenomenon of phantom pregnancy kicks

'Phantom pregnancy kicks’ are encountered by many mums months - or even years - after their pregnancy is over.

The health insurance advice you can't afford to ignore

There's one simple switch that could save you hundreds of dollars a year in private health insurance.

4D scans show how smoking affects babies still in the womb

The harmful effects of smoking during pregnancy on unborn babies may be seen in tiny movements in their faces using 4D ultrasound scans, research has found.

How to babyproof your job interview

Once upon a time, I was a fan of job interviews. That all changed after I'd switched careers, had a baby and decided to spend the first year at home with her.

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

The most dangerous toddler food trends

Pete Evans' paleo cookbook for kids caused a storm, but there are plenty of other unsafe food trends for babies and toddlers.

6 pregnancy side effects I didn't expect

Without frightening anyone who is yet to navigate the pregnancy path, here are some things I didn’t expect when I fell pregnant.

Infection killed new mum of twins

Modern medicine could not save 19-year-old Sophie Burgess who died 48 hours after giving birth to twins in the UK.

Cancer took his wife, now his toddler needs chemo

Two weeks after saying goodbye to the love of his life, Andrew Boaz got the news that his 18-month-old needed chemotherapy.

Tot meets his heroes, falls apart with excitement

Two-year-old Quincy finished his potty training last week, and as part of his reward he was able to meet his idols.

Beautiful in our eyes: Georgia's story

I will never deny the fact that grief has a place when you give birth to a child who brings a set of circumstances very different to what you imagined. Because for nine months, I thought I knew my Georgie.

'It's been phenomenal': widower dad of quads thankful for support

There was nothing Erica and Carlos wanted more than a baby.

Vin Diesel names daughter after actor Paul Walker

The actor said there was "no other person" he was thinking about when he chose the name.

How midwives can help women who experience domestic violence

More than half of women who live with abusive partners experience violence during pregnancy.

Mum describes giving birth during Cyclone Pam

A new mother was told she must flee Port Vila hospital with her baby as Cyclone Pam bore down.

6 signs you're done having babies

There were a few signs I'm never going back to the land of maternity jeans, breast pumps and bassinets.

Marta Dusseldorp reveals breastfeeding cost her an acting job

Australian actress Marta Dusseldorp has revealed she was forced to withdraw from a Sydney Theatre Company production because a director did not approve of her breast feeding.

Female celebs (or their babies) with traditionally male names

Looking for a name that's a little bit different for a girl? Turn to names that have been traditionally used for males, as these celebs (or their parents) did.

'If you're anti-immunisation ... take a look at this picture of my son'

Greg Hughes is "an absolute shell of a man" as he and his wife Catherine struggle to come to terms with the loss of their newborn son Riley to whooping cough.

How an extrovert can raise an introvert

Introverts are often misunderstood as shy, and sometimes even rude. A timid child can be difficult to build rapport with, but it's important we nurture their sensitive natures.

Sheryl Sandberg's advice

'Choreplay': Help out at home to get more sex

Forget foreplay. The new and improved route to intercourse is "choreplay" - it's good for your spouse, good for your house, and comes with the imprimatur of feminist du jour Sheryl Sandberg.

How to play with your baby

The first time your child learns a new skill at playtime is very exciting - for both you and your baby! Play is important to your child's development for a variety of reasons - here are some simple ideas for you to try at home.

I'm a single mother by choice

For me, being the best mother I can be means being a mum alone, at least for now. Thinking of my friends with inadequate partners, I wonder why more people don’t choose single motherhood.

Awkward wedding photos

Weird poses, surprise photobombs, bizarre editing: these are the wedding photos that should have never seen the light of day.

Win a Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom prize pack

To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, we are giving away five DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

Man faces jail after giving woman abortion pill smoothie

A Norwegian man is facing jail after putting abortion pills in his ex-girlfriend's smoothie, causing her to have a miscarriage.

'He's a blessing': family of baby born without eyes

Jordy Jackson was born without eyes. He has anophthalmia, which affects one in every 100,000 babies born.

Win one of 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers

With Easter fast approaching, Cadbury are giving away 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers. Enter Now!

Super fit model Sarah Stage defends her pregnancy body

Model Sarah Stage has defended her pregnancy body after critics claimed her slim figure at eight-and-a-half months pregnant wasn't "normal".

Win a Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom and Peppa Pig prize pack

To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, Essential Baby and Entertainment One are giving away five bumper DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!

Why I post breastfeeding photos online

I love to take pictures of my children. In some of the pictures, my younger son is nursing.

The day I broke my baby

There are things I wish I didn't know. I wish I didn't know that companies make tiny braces, small enough to hold necks no bigger than a wrist.

The place just for dads of multiples

When a couple discovers they're expecting multiples, the dad can sometimes be almost forgotten in all the excitement and preparation. But one group offers a space just for dads of twins and higher-order multiples.

Brave mum calls for domestic violence law reform

A brave mum of two has shared details of the harrowing attacks she suffered at the hands of her partner in a bid to help other victims of domestic violence.

Why I had the new test for Down syndrome

Early last year I turned 35, and having just found out I was pregnant, I opted to have the new test for Down syndrome.

Geeky baby gear

If your family is more into Star Wars, gaming and the periodic table than most, you might want to check out these geek-chic baby items.

2015: the year of the sheep

According to the Chinese zodiac, babies born in the year of the sheep are creative and enjoy spending quiet time with their own thoughts.

Breakthrough genetic testing now available in Australia

Pregnant women will for the first time have access to locally analysed, accurate, non-invasive pre-natal genetic testing when the first Australian clinic to offer the services opens its doors next week.

Grandbabies: the babies born looking old

Not a day under 65 and a lifetime of struggle! That's the look of these newborns, who look adorably older than their real age. Social networking site Reddit recently featured user submissions of adorable grandbabies, here are our favourites.

Family kicked off flight after toddler seatbelt drama

An entire family was kicked off a Cathay Pacific flight when a misbehaving toddler refused to put his seatbelt on.

Stolen baby found after 17 years

A baby stolen from her mother's arms shortly after birth has been found through an astonishing coincidence.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Sign up now!

30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Receive a daily email from Essential Baby during April with great play tips and ideas, then submit your baby at play photos to our Playwall, Instagram or Twitter for your chance to win.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.