Jump to content

DS does not like crowds


  • Please log in to reply
6 replies to this topic

#1 SashaN

Posted 04 January 2013 - 05:06 PM

HI girls my DS is 4yrs 2months and i have found does not like crowds twice now we have gone to the beach and had a meltdown wanting to go then we went to a restaurant and he did not want to sit outside i think due to crowds.

Has anyone elses child done this?

Sasha

#2 beabea

Posted 08 January 2013 - 01:26 AM

Yes. Lots of kids are like this. (And lots of others aren't.) I also think it waxes and wanes with different ages/stages and according to any other stressors they may be facing at that time (eg new schools, etc).

Ultimately I think it's important they learn how to cope with these sorts of situations, but note there is a difference between "teaching them how to cope" and "expecting them to like it" or "forcing them in at the deep end" or "figuring they'll get the hang of it if you reward/punish them enough". I don't have any magic techniques, but I notice there's a "spirited kids" thread just above this one and you may want to check out some of the resources there.  In the meantime, a few to get you started:

- Ten Mindful Minutes (Goldie Hawn)
- Raising The Spirited Child (this one will be on the other thread for sure... can't remember the author)
- Motherstyles (not really about kids but it will help you think about things in terms of personality and may help you balance needs within the family)
- The Explosive Child (really written about kids with proper behavioural disorders but the techniques can be used with any child, even if that child doesn't "need" them)

Edited by beabea, 08 January 2013 - 01:29 AM.


#3 baddmammajamma

Posted 08 January 2013 - 06:49 AM

Hi Sasha:

As a fellow mother of a child who is prone to meltdowns, your post struck a chord with me. I'm sure it's hard for you (and your son) when these episodes occur.

beabea has suggested some potentially helpful resources that you might check out, but I am going to go a step further.

Whenever I see a post from someone who is worried about their child's behavior, I take a quick peek at post history (not to stalk but rather, to get greater context so my answer might be more helpful). I see that you have been raising concerns about your son's behavior ever since you joined EB.

Given that, I would suggest that it's probably time to consider more than just advice from other mothers (as nice as we are wink.gif ) or self help manuals and think about getting some good professional support. The upside is that you can get advice that is tailored to your EXACT situation -- advice that takes your son's individual circumstances into account -- rather than general suggestions of what to do. Even if there is no "issue" with your son beyond challenging behavior, a good professional will able to give you advice on how to mitigate that behavior.

Is your son still struggling with his sleep? Before we found melatonin, my daughter could go-go-go until after midnight (as a three and four year old). It was exhausting and certainly didn't help her behavior either!

Anyway, if you are interested in consulting a specialist, you can ask your GP for a referral. You'd probably be best off seeing either a good child psychologist (we would be lost without ours!) or a good developmental paediatrician. Additionally, you can check with your local community health care center, as often they have professionals on board (incl. psychologists) who can offer counsel at little or no charge.

Good luck. If your son is anything like my daughter, he has a lot of really wonderful qualities, too. The key is to find a way to make those surface more than the tough stuff! original.gif

Edited by baddmammajamma, 08 January 2013 - 07:00 AM.


#4 mumto3princesses

Posted 08 January 2013 - 07:27 AM

Hi sasha, yep my DD#2 has pretty much always hated crowds. Even now she is 9yrs she still isn't fond of busy places. There is too much going on basically and it can get a bit much for her. We were out on the weekend and she was fine for most of the day but by early afternoon she had had enough.

Great advice from BMJ. You would have nothing to loose from an assessment. And you would have answers one way or another and also be pointed in the right direction for coping strategies even if the results show he has no issues.

#5 SashaN

Posted 09 January 2013 - 09:00 PM

HI girls thanks for all of your posts and advice i really appreciate it and the books that are helpful to read I will definitely look into them.

I contacted a place here where we live that helps in assessing child behaviour and helping you work with them and helping us coping and working out what strategies are best or helpful.

They do take 6 weeks to get in but at least its a start.

Thanks for all your wonderful advice and support.

Sasha

#6 Chelli

Posted 09 January 2013 - 09:09 PM

My DD suffers from anxiety and can sometimes be adverse to crowds and unfamiliar situations. Great idea to get her some support, we took DD to a psychologist last year who gave her some coping techniques (she is older than your DS though) and it has worked a treat and really empowered her.

#7 lylac

Posted 09 January 2013 - 09:39 PM

Yes both of my two children don't like crowds.
My DS6 (ASD) doesn't like the noise, and my DD5 (waiting assessment) doesn't like other people being too close.
With the help of his Occupational Therapist my son has come a looong way!
Good Luck OP  original.gif

Edited by lylac, 09 January 2013 - 09:40 PM.





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Clever panda fakes pregnancy

News that a giant panda was pregnant prompted much excitement, but it appears there were never any cubs on the way.

'I survived placenta percreta'

When writing her birth plan, Simone Pavil included an item most women wouldn?t even think about: what should happen if she was put on life support. The mum had the potentially fatal condition placenta accreta.

Managing personal space as a mum

In the midst of the early parenting years, our bodies and minds can seemingly be overtaken by our offspring. How can we balance our need for personal space with the needs of our children?

'If love could have saved you, you'd have never left'

The words "spontaneous abortion" on the hospital paperwork really got to me. My baby died; I didn't spontaneously decide to abort him.

15 classic Aussie ads

Watch some of the classic Australian ads of the 80s, 90s and 00s, and remember the catchphrases and jingles we all used to know so well ...

For and against

Should Blue Ivy have been at the VMAs?

Many were quick to condemn Beyonce and Jay Z after appearing on stage at the MTV Video Music Awards with their two-year-old daughter, but others thought it was a sweet family moment. What do you think?

Toddler attacked at gym creche

Two-year-old girl Eva Ness was left with a black eye and bite marks on her face and body after an altercation with an older child at a health club's child-minding facilities. Now her parents are calling for the centre to be closed.

Pregnancy a tricky matter of timing for FIFO couples

Manipulating rosters, coordinating 'conjugal' visits, working on site with your partner; getting pregnant can prove stressful for FIFO workers.

WIN a $100 RedBalloon for Dad

Enter now for your chance to win 1 of 5 $100 RedBalloon experience vouchers. Helping you make Dad's Day EXTRA HAPPY.

Carseats have twice as many germs as a toilet

Most parents know their child's carseat is not always squeaky clean, but they might not realise just how dirty it really is.

Doctors remove foetus from 'medical marvel' after 36 years

Doctors in India have removed the skeleton of a foetus that had been inside a woman for 36 years.

Nine months in six seconds: new parents' Vine clip a hit

We?ve seen some memorable time-lapse pregnancy and birth announcement videos before. Now one new couple has taken it to the extreme, capturing it all in just a six-second Vine video.

Sonia Kruger speaks of baby joy

Celebrity mum-to-be Sonia Kruger has spoken candidly about using donor eggs and IVF to fall pregnant at age 48.

Dressing to not impress: life through the eyes of a three-year-old

When it comes to getting dressed, my three-year-old has only one criterion: ?I don?t want to look beautiful.? And now I've worked out why.

Special nappies made with love for angel babies

Angel Baby Nappies make and provide tiny bereavement cloth nappies for pre-term stillborn babies and premature babies who pass away in the NICU.

Inside the brain of a tantruming toddler

What's going on in your child's mind in the lead-up to a tantrum? And what?s the best way to respond?

5 secrets to a long-lasting relationship

When it comes to keeping your relationship strong, it?s what you do - and not what you want - that really matters.

When 'furbabies' meet real babies

I am obsessed with my dogs, and can't imagine loving them any less once my baby arrives. But that doesn't stop everyone from telling me I will.

The least popular baby names of 2013

Looking for a baby name that?s nowhere near the top 10 ? or even the top 1000? Try the bottom five.

'I was so sleep deprived I crashed my car'

There are no laws regulating driving while tired, but statistics show that driver fatigue is one of the top three contributors to the road toll.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

WIN a $100 RedBalloon for Dad

Enter now for your chance to win 1 of 5 $100 RedBalloon experience vouchers. Helping you make Dad's Day EXTRA HAPPY.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Do you suffer from Precious Firstborn Syndrome?

Testing ?no more tears? shampoo in your own eyes, warming cucumber sticks so they're not cold straight from the fridge, waking a sleeping baby to check they?re still breathing: these are all symptoms of Precious Firstborn Syndrome.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Video: When adults act like children

Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.

Mums hit hardest as flu cases skyrocket

The number of confirmed cases of influenza in Australia has doubled the number for the same time last year - and women are 25 per cent more likely to get it.

The mum who had four babies in nine months

Feeling exhausted due to the demands of caring for a baby? Imagine the life of this mum, who gave birth to three boys and one girl in just nine months.

Everything baby at Big W

Lowest prices on everything baby, only at Big W. Sale starts August 4 and ends August 20 2014.

Going viral

Outrage over baby's icy challenge

A man has been reported to child protective services after taking the ALS ice bucket challenge with his 10-month-old granddaughter.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.