Jump to content
DS does not like crowds
6 replies to this topic
Posted 04 January 2013 - 05:06 PM
HI girls my DS is 4yrs 2months and i have found does not like crowds twice now we have gone to the beach and had a meltdown wanting to go then we went to a restaurant and he did not want to sit outside i think due to crowds.
Has anyone elses child done this?
Posted 08 January 2013 - 01:26 AM
Yes. Lots of kids are like this. (And lots of others aren't.) I also think it waxes and wanes with different ages/stages and according to any other stressors they may be facing at that time (eg new schools, etc).
Ultimately I think it's important they learn how to cope with these sorts of situations, but note there is a difference between "teaching them how to cope" and "expecting them to like it" or "forcing them in at the deep end" or "figuring they'll get the hang of it if you reward/punish them enough". I don't have any magic techniques, but I notice there's a "spirited kids" thread just above this one and you may want to check out some of the resources there. In the meantime, a few to get you started:
- Ten Mindful Minutes (Goldie Hawn)
- Raising The Spirited Child (this one will be on the other thread for sure... can't remember the author)
- Motherstyles (not really about kids but it will help you think about things in terms of personality and may help you balance needs within the family)
- The Explosive Child (really written about kids with proper behavioural disorders but the techniques can be used with any child, even if that child doesn't "need" them)
Edited by beabea, 08 January 2013 - 01:29 AM.
Posted 08 January 2013 - 06:49 AM
As a fellow mother of a child who is prone to meltdowns, your post struck a chord with me. I'm sure it's hard for you (and your son) when these episodes occur.
beabea has suggested some potentially helpful resources that you might check out, but I am going to go a step further.
Whenever I see a post from someone who is worried about their child's behavior, I take a quick peek at post history (not to stalk but rather, to get greater context so my answer might be more helpful). I see that you have been raising concerns about your son's behavior ever since you joined EB.
Given that, I would suggest that it's probably time to consider more than just advice from other mothers (as nice as we are ) or self help manuals and think about getting some good professional support. The upside is that you can get advice that is tailored to your EXACT situation -- advice that takes your son's individual circumstances into account -- rather than general suggestions of what to do. Even if there is no "issue" with your son beyond challenging behavior, a good professional will able to give you advice on how to mitigate that behavior.
Is your son still struggling with his sleep? Before we found melatonin, my daughter could go-go-go until after midnight (as a three and four year old). It was exhausting and certainly didn't help her behavior either!
Anyway, if you are interested in consulting a specialist, you can ask your GP for a referral. You'd probably be best off seeing either a good child psychologist (we would be lost without ours!) or a good developmental paediatrician. Additionally, you can check with your local community health care center, as often they have professionals on board (incl. psychologists) who can offer counsel at little or no charge.
Good luck. If your son is anything like my daughter, he has a lot of really wonderful qualities, too. The key is to find a way to make those surface more than the tough stuff!
Edited by baddmammajamma, 08 January 2013 - 07:00 AM.
Posted 08 January 2013 - 07:27 AM
Hi sasha, yep my DD#2 has pretty much always hated crowds. Even now she is 9yrs she still isn't fond of busy places. There is too much going on basically and it can get a bit much for her. We were out on the weekend and she was fine for most of the day but by early afternoon she had had enough.
Great advice from BMJ. You would have nothing to loose from an assessment. And you would have answers one way or another and also be pointed in the right direction for coping strategies even if the results show he has no issues.
Posted 09 January 2013 - 09:00 PM
HI girls thanks for all of your posts and advice i really appreciate it and the books that are helpful to read I will definitely look into them.
I contacted a place here where we live that helps in assessing child behaviour and helping you work with them and helping us coping and working out what strategies are best or helpful.
They do take 6 weeks to get in but at least its a start.
Thanks for all your wonderful advice and support.
Posted 09 January 2013 - 09:09 PM
My DD suffers from anxiety and can sometimes be adverse to crowds and unfamiliar situations. Great idea to get her some support, we took DD to a psychologist last year who gave her some coping techniques (she is older than your DS though) and it has worked a treat and really empowered her.
Posted 09 January 2013 - 09:39 PM
Yes both of my two children don't like crowds.
My DS6 (ASD) doesn't like the noise, and my DD5 (waiting assessment) doesn't like other people being too close.
With the help of his Occupational Therapist my son has come a looong way!
Good Luck OP
Edited by lylac, 09 January 2013 - 09:40 PM.
1 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users
You really don't realise everything your parents did for you until you find yourself doing them for your own children ... vomit catching and all.
When you're a baby, even getting off a bed and onto the floor can be a tricky procedure.
It is a quiet video, less than a half-minute long. It features no flourishes to speak of. It has no kittens doing kitten things. None of the things that often make a video go viral.
Rugby league star Anthony Watmough and his wife Elle have shared their joy at learning their unborn baby, who was thought to have Trisomy 18, was cleared of the fatal condition.
To celebrate the Home Entertainment release of Shaun the Sheep Movie, Essential Kids and Universal Sony Pictures Home Entertainment are offering one winner and their family a holiday to a farm.
I may have lost that particular friend years ago, but I have gained so much from that experience.
It's far more than just a bag for nappies - it's the travel companion for your baby that should contain all the things you might need when away from home base.
The biggest joy of our daughter's name is that people really light up when they hear it (pun intended).
The Pyjama Jam! tour will see Justine Clarke returning to more intimate venues around Australia, creating the perfect comfy and cozy atmosphere for a PJ party.
When Brittany and Brandon Buell's son Jaxon was born missing much of his brain and skull, doctors said he only had days to live.
Emily Bingham had been asked about her baby making plans one too many times.
Thinking of investing in meal replacement shakes to slim down ahead of summer?
It is among the most delicate and difficult dilemmas in medicine: Should a pregnant woman who has received a cancer diagnosis begin treatment before her child is born?
Vote for your favourite pregnancy, baby and toddler products for your chance to win your share of $2500 in cash prizes.
Looking for a baby name with a nod to nature, or one with an organic meaning? Check out our list to get inspired.
That cup of Joe is just the boost your body needs.
An illiterate and poverty stricken mother has abandoned her newborn triplets at hospital because she cannot afford to care for them.
The first time my oldest daughter called me 'Mum', she was 17.
A recent Facebook photo post is prompting widespread discussion of an emotional topic for many parents: rainbow babies.
Dozens of young women have had virgin births after undergoing IVF in Britain, it has been reported.
Your baby might be crawling around in hundreds of dollars worth of clothing.
A one-hour difference to the day is pretty big deal when you're little.
The frontiers of life are advancing ever further into uncharted territory.
Top 5 Articles
Fashion designer Stella McCartney has honoured her late mum, Linda McCartney, by designing a special bra for post-mastectomy patients.
Mark Harris has helped deliver 500 babies. And he's now telling fathers what to expect.
Being a calm parent takes a lot of work, sometimes more than is obvious to those around us.
It's cool, kind of like a second childhood. I love him to bits and think, on average, I'm an okay dad. But I also want to talk about the other stuff.
He may have only lived for 100 minutes, but that didn't stop baby Teddy from saving the lives of others.
A haunting reminder to stay mindful about babies in cars, especially as we approach summer.
Tongue-tie can cause feeding problems. However once it is diagnosed, the condition can be easily treated.
Some people move frequently, while others like to stay put. But everyone finds it stressful.
The birth of her first child should have been happiest of times for Campsie mother Phuong Cao, but friends say it marked the beginning of when her life began to unravel.
It was an experiment doomed to failure - they were looking for male cells in female bodies. And their search was stunningly successful.
A gorgeous photo series shows babies in the first hours after their birth - as they were positioned in the womb.
We don't know what he's saying, but this baby has a very clear message for his bulldog pal: let's walk - NOW.
Without a doubt, one of the best gifts for a toddler turning two or three is a play kitchen.
With a few simple tips you can take your images from random happy snaps to lovely clean images that create beautiful lasting memories.
The Essential Baby Awards are on now, and we need your help! Have your say on your top picks and you'll go in the draw to win a share of $2500.