Jump to content

spin off - no rsvps


  • Please log in to reply
16 replies to this topic

#1 swimmingalong

Posted 04 January 2013 - 05:00 PM

If you'd booked a playcenter or the local pool or similar and people turned up to drop their child off for the party and they hadn't rsvp'd at all....

Would you tell the parent that because you hadnt been rsvp'd and therefore didn't expect the child to come that the parent would have to pay for their own child?

Would you still do lolly bags for the kids who hadn't rsvp'd or tell them that mummy didn't tell me you were coming so I didn't make you one?

#2 Halcyon~

Posted 04 January 2013 - 05:07 PM

I don't have it in me to turn them away.
I always do extra lolly bags just in case

#3 swimmingalong

Posted 04 January 2013 - 07:41 PM

to expand:  given that in the venting thread a lot of people said it was rude not to rsvp, I was wondering how many people would actually draw a line in the sand and let it be known that these sort of people are rude?


#4 swimmingalong

Posted 04 January 2013 - 07:41 PM

to expand:  given that in the venting thread a lot of people said it was rude not to rsvp, I was wondering how many people would actually draw a line in the sand and let it be known that these sort of people are rude?


#5 robot sm

Posted 04 January 2013 - 07:43 PM

I don't think I'd do anything to potentially exclude the kids like not giving them a lolly bag or telling the parents to pay themselves, but I would probably mention to the parents - 'oh! I didn't get your RSVP!'

#6 Therese

Posted 04 January 2013 - 07:46 PM

I would never say anything to the kids, I would just make extra lolly bags. As robotsimone said I would probably say to the parent something about not getting their RSVP but I would never say anything to the child. It's not their fault their parent didn't reply.

#7 baddmammajamma

Posted 04 January 2013 - 07:52 PM

I doubt I will ever find myself in this situation because we know all of the parents of our children's classmates, and I've been known to hunt down wayward RSVPs. I like to know my numbers!

HOWEVER, hypothetically speaking, if I had no RSVPs:

QUOTE (Therese @ 04/01/2013, 08:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would never say anything to the kids, I would just make extra lolly bags. As robotsimone said I would probably say to the parent something about not getting their RSVP but I would never say anything to the child. It's not their fault their parent didn't reply.



#8 SplashingRainbows

Posted 04 January 2013 - 07:55 PM

There are ways to let people know their behaviour is rude, without exhibiting rude behaviour yourself.

I think both proposed behaviours in your op are rude and I wouldn't feel comfortable doing either.  If you were truly out of party bags you could very genuinely apologise to the guests you weren't expecting by explaining that you only catered for those who replied, however I would hope I would have plenty of spares.


#9 FeralBob!

Posted 04 January 2013 - 07:57 PM

What Therese said. I'd never take it out on the kids, it's not their fault.

#10 Funwith3

Posted 05 January 2013 - 11:18 PM

Id never say something to the child... but then again I'd never let it get to that point. If I haven't heard back from parents I contact them myself and establish whether or not the child is coming. If I hadn't heard anything, I think I'd make them a lolly bag just in case.

Upon their arrival id probably be a smarty and say "oh its good your child could make it, I didn't know whether or not she was coming!!" I think that would get a subtle message through!

#11 erindiv

Posted 05 January 2013 - 11:24 PM

I'd be saying "Oh, I didn't get your RSVP! I hope I have enough spare things for a lolly bag. So sorry, I didn't know you were coming!"

Chances are you being so apologetic and flustered will make them feel guilty.

How are these people supposed to learn if nothing gets said? Of course have enough for extras, don't take it out on the kids, but don't just let it slide.

#12 SeaPrincess

Posted 05 January 2013 - 11:29 PM

It depends how many there were.  I've read of some people potentially changing their plans due to such low numbers of RSVP attendees - in that case it's their bad luck if they turn up to the original venue and its not on.

I wouldn't make more than 5 extra goody bags.

And if there was a safety/supervision issue such as at a swimming pool and I didn't think I had enough people to adequately supervise the extras who turned up, then yes I would ask the parents to stay, but not to pay for their own child.

Edited by SeaPrincess, 05 January 2013 - 11:29 PM.


#13 allthiseffortpaidoff

Posted 05 January 2013 - 11:30 PM

You're at a catered event, right?

Play centre etc... so you're budgeting...?

I would make extra loot bags, but I wouldn't be paying for anyone that hadn't RSVP'd to a 'paid' event.



#14 bailee

Posted 05 January 2013 - 11:33 PM

Whenever we've been to a play centre for a party they have always had a list at the door for those that have rsvp'd. Anyone who hasn't then gets stopped and the host has to be found and asked if it's ok to add this child, etc. So the parent gets the message that their RSVP wasn't received and their child could have been turned away. I would prepare a lolly bag and accept the child but probably wouldn't add the child to list cause then you automatically get charged even if they don't turn up. Well thats how it works around here anyway, but we don't really have that many that don't RSVP.

#15 erindiv

Posted 05 January 2013 - 11:36 PM

QUOTE (bailee @ 06/01/2013, 12:33 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Whenever we've been to a play centre for a party they have always had a list at the door for those that have rsvp'd. Anyone who hasn't then gets stopped and the host has to be found and asked if it's ok to add this child, etc. So the parent gets the message that their RSVP wasn't received and their child could have been turned away. I would prepare a lolly bag and accept the child but probably wouldn't add the child to list cause then you automatically get charged even if they don't turn up. Well thats how it works around here anyway, but we don't really have that many that don't RSVP.



I'd be telling the play centre to charge people who weren't on the list  ph34r.gif

#16 JRA

Posted 06 January 2013 - 09:21 PM

QUOTE (baddmammajamma @ 04/01/2013, 07:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I doubt I will ever find myself in this situation because we know all of the parents of our children's classmates, and I've been known to hunt down wayward RSVPs. I like to know my numbers

Yes, same here.

I must admit I am not sure if I have needed to chase anyone though

#17 Holidayromp

Posted 06 January 2013 - 09:35 PM

This is a tough one because it isn't as simple as making up an extra lolly bag because I plan to the exact amount of children.
There are only a set number of places at the table
There is only a set number of wrapping around pass the parcel
There are ony a set number of prizes in a treasure hunt.

I am sorry but I am not going to stuff around with trying to fit an extra seat in (and trying to find something that will do as a seat), trying to wrap another layer of pass the parcel, digging around for non-existant items for lolly bags when I should be entertaining the kids that I know are coming.  

Same with a play centre party or whatever - they want numbers TWO days before not on the day, not people who just show up.  This is a catered party so if you want to 'squeeze your children in ' because you have been so lazy and so rude so as not to let me know what you are doing means that there is not enough to go around and potentially children miss out on the pre-organised games.  And no I will not pay for your kids because I have budgetted x amount I have pre-paid that amount and I don't have any further money.

Luckily I have not had that happen to me and it is going to put me in a god awful position if it does because I only plan for people that RSVP - not for people who don't, not for mind changes and certainly not for any hangers on.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

A mum's tragic battle against inflammatory breast cancer

At just 37 years of age, with two young sons, Vicki was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer. Now her family wants all women to know the symptoms.

The business of babies around the world

Pregnancy and birth is an intriguing process no matter where you are in the world. One soon-to-be father gleans wisdom from a new guide.

Finding a positive path through IVF

It’s not surprising that IVF is often seen as a negative journey towards the ultimate positive, but having a glass-half-full approach can make a big difference to the experience.

Giving strangers the gift of parenthood

A mum explains why she and her husband are choosing to gift their leftover embryos to help strangers achieve their dream of parenthood.

Does morning sickness get better or worse with each child?

Just as every baby is unique, so is every pregnancy. And that means morning sickness can vary a lot, too.

What's so wrong with looking 'mumsy', anyway?

Why is it that the word ‘mumsy’ has connotations of such a negative nature – but seems to be the only other option apart from ‘yummy’?

Trying to speed up the inevitable

As the waiting game of late pregnancy continues, this mum considers a few things that might hurry things up a little.

One month later: where is William Tyrell?

It has been a little over a month since William Tyrell disappeared from his grandmother's home, 33 long sleepless nights for his family as they mourn the absence of their cheeky young boy.

Winter's child less likely to be moody: study

Babies born in the summer are much more likely to suffer from mood swings when they grow up, while those born in the winter are less likely to become irritable adults, scientists claim.

Single mum of two creates award-winning baby app

Suddenly single with a baby and an 11-year-old son, Tara O?Connell developed an app to improve the lives of mothers who were similarly overwhelmed.

Food for thought: looking after yourself as a new mum

As soon as your baby enters the world, everything else takes a back seat - even the necessities of daily life such as eating are severely compromised, right when you need energy the most.

'Grabbable guts' campaign aims to cut toxic fat

The Live Lighter campaign will take people inside the human body to show the internal dangers of being overweight.

The best and worst month of my life

A new mum's first month of motherhood didn't pan out as expected when she lost a family member weeks after her baby's birth.

Facebook and Apple offer to pay female staff to freeze their eggs

Facebook and Apple are hoping to provide women with the freedom to build their careers without the added pressure of having children at or by a certain age.

How a pregnancy contract could work for you and your partner

The idea of making a 'pregnancy contract' with your partner may sound a bit silly at first, but it can help make the transition to parenthood a lot smoother.

Finding a mum-friendly personal trainer

Burping babies vs burpees – yes, new mums and personal trainers live in different worlds. But they can work together - once you find the right match for you and your lifestyle.

Alleged baby snatch incident a ?misunderstanding?, say police

Police say that an incident in which a man pulled on a woman?s pram while walking a popular Sydney route late last month was a misunderstanding.

Ebola killed my aunt and is shutting down my country

Three weeks ago, my auntie, a midwife, developed a fever. Sitting here in Sydney basked in Australian sunshine, that shouldn't be big news.

The night my ovary burst

One mum shares her frightening experience and vows to never take her health for granted again.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

16 parenting truths you won't find in the baby books

I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.

Win 1 of 5 Canon Powershot D30 cameras

Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!

Best and worst potty party cakes

It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.

7 tips for a financially festive Christmas

Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Great birthday party buys from Etsy

Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.

Creative storage ideas for the kids' rooms

Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.

Student shocked by surprise baby

Kate Hudson, 22, was on a dream European holiday with friends. She didn't realise she was about to become a mum.

To the mum in the doctor's waiting room

Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.

10 space-saving nursery ideas

Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.

 

What's in a name?

Baby Names

Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.