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spin off - no rsvps


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#1 swimmingalong

Posted 04 January 2013 - 05:00 PM

If you'd booked a playcenter or the local pool or similar and people turned up to drop their child off for the party and they hadn't rsvp'd at all....

Would you tell the parent that because you hadnt been rsvp'd and therefore didn't expect the child to come that the parent would have to pay for their own child?

Would you still do lolly bags for the kids who hadn't rsvp'd or tell them that mummy didn't tell me you were coming so I didn't make you one?

#2 Halcyon~

Posted 04 January 2013 - 05:07 PM

I don't have it in me to turn them away.
I always do extra lolly bags just in case

#3 swimmingalong

Posted 04 January 2013 - 07:41 PM

to expand:  given that in the venting thread a lot of people said it was rude not to rsvp, I was wondering how many people would actually draw a line in the sand and let it be known that these sort of people are rude?


#4 swimmingalong

Posted 04 January 2013 - 07:41 PM

to expand:  given that in the venting thread a lot of people said it was rude not to rsvp, I was wondering how many people would actually draw a line in the sand and let it be known that these sort of people are rude?


#5 robot sm

Posted 04 January 2013 - 07:43 PM

I don't think I'd do anything to potentially exclude the kids like not giving them a lolly bag or telling the parents to pay themselves, but I would probably mention to the parents - 'oh! I didn't get your RSVP!'

#6 Therese

Posted 04 January 2013 - 07:46 PM

I would never say anything to the kids, I would just make extra lolly bags. As robotsimone said I would probably say to the parent something about not getting their RSVP but I would never say anything to the child. It's not their fault their parent didn't reply.

#7 baddmammajamma

Posted 04 January 2013 - 07:52 PM

I doubt I will ever find myself in this situation because we know all of the parents of our children's classmates, and I've been known to hunt down wayward RSVPs. I like to know my numbers!

HOWEVER, hypothetically speaking, if I had no RSVPs:

QUOTE (Therese @ 04/01/2013, 08:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would never say anything to the kids, I would just make extra lolly bags. As robotsimone said I would probably say to the parent something about not getting their RSVP but I would never say anything to the child. It's not their fault their parent didn't reply.



#8 SplashingRainbows

Posted 04 January 2013 - 07:55 PM

There are ways to let people know their behaviour is rude, without exhibiting rude behaviour yourself.

I think both proposed behaviours in your op are rude and I wouldn't feel comfortable doing either.  If you were truly out of party bags you could very genuinely apologise to the guests you weren't expecting by explaining that you only catered for those who replied, however I would hope I would have plenty of spares.


#9 RedBob

Posted 04 January 2013 - 07:57 PM

What Therese said. I'd never take it out on the kids, it's not their fault.

#10 Funwith3

Posted 05 January 2013 - 11:18 PM

Id never say something to the child... but then again I'd never let it get to that point. If I haven't heard back from parents I contact them myself and establish whether or not the child is coming. If I hadn't heard anything, I think I'd make them a lolly bag just in case.

Upon their arrival id probably be a smarty and say "oh its good your child could make it, I didn't know whether or not she was coming!!" I think that would get a subtle message through!

#11 erindiv

Posted 05 January 2013 - 11:24 PM

I'd be saying "Oh, I didn't get your RSVP! I hope I have enough spare things for a lolly bag. So sorry, I didn't know you were coming!"

Chances are you being so apologetic and flustered will make them feel guilty.

How are these people supposed to learn if nothing gets said? Of course have enough for extras, don't take it out on the kids, but don't just let it slide.

#12 SeaPrincess

Posted 05 January 2013 - 11:29 PM

It depends how many there were.  I've read of some people potentially changing their plans due to such low numbers of RSVP attendees - in that case it's their bad luck if they turn up to the original venue and its not on.

I wouldn't make more than 5 extra goody bags.

And if there was a safety/supervision issue such as at a swimming pool and I didn't think I had enough people to adequately supervise the extras who turned up, then yes I would ask the parents to stay, but not to pay for their own child.

Edited by SeaPrincess, 05 January 2013 - 11:29 PM.


#13 allthiseffortpaidoff

Posted 05 January 2013 - 11:30 PM

You're at a catered event, right?

Play centre etc... so you're budgeting...?

I would make extra loot bags, but I wouldn't be paying for anyone that hadn't RSVP'd to a 'paid' event.



#14 bailee

Posted 05 January 2013 - 11:33 PM

Whenever we've been to a play centre for a party they have always had a list at the door for those that have rsvp'd. Anyone who hasn't then gets stopped and the host has to be found and asked if it's ok to add this child, etc. So the parent gets the message that their RSVP wasn't received and their child could have been turned away. I would prepare a lolly bag and accept the child but probably wouldn't add the child to list cause then you automatically get charged even if they don't turn up. Well thats how it works around here anyway, but we don't really have that many that don't RSVP.

#15 erindiv

Posted 05 January 2013 - 11:36 PM

QUOTE (bailee @ 06/01/2013, 12:33 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Whenever we've been to a play centre for a party they have always had a list at the door for those that have rsvp'd. Anyone who hasn't then gets stopped and the host has to be found and asked if it's ok to add this child, etc. So the parent gets the message that their RSVP wasn't received and their child could have been turned away. I would prepare a lolly bag and accept the child but probably wouldn't add the child to list cause then you automatically get charged even if they don't turn up. Well thats how it works around here anyway, but we don't really have that many that don't RSVP.



I'd be telling the play centre to charge people who weren't on the list  ph34r.gif

#16 JRA

Posted 06 January 2013 - 09:21 PM

QUOTE (baddmammajamma @ 04/01/2013, 07:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I doubt I will ever find myself in this situation because we know all of the parents of our children's classmates, and I've been known to hunt down wayward RSVPs. I like to know my numbers

Yes, same here.

I must admit I am not sure if I have needed to chase anyone though

#17 Holidayromp

Posted 06 January 2013 - 09:35 PM

This is a tough one because it isn't as simple as making up an extra lolly bag because I plan to the exact amount of children.
There are only a set number of places at the table
There is only a set number of wrapping around pass the parcel
There are ony a set number of prizes in a treasure hunt.

I am sorry but I am not going to stuff around with trying to fit an extra seat in (and trying to find something that will do as a seat), trying to wrap another layer of pass the parcel, digging around for non-existant items for lolly bags when I should be entertaining the kids that I know are coming.  

Same with a play centre party or whatever - they want numbers TWO days before not on the day, not people who just show up.  This is a catered party so if you want to 'squeeze your children in ' because you have been so lazy and so rude so as not to let me know what you are doing means that there is not enough to go around and potentially children miss out on the pre-organised games.  And no I will not pay for your kids because I have budgetted x amount I have pre-paid that amount and I don't have any further money.

Luckily I have not had that happen to me and it is going to put me in a god awful position if it does because I only plan for people that RSVP - not for people who don't, not for mind changes and certainly not for any hangers on.




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