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What do you wish somebody had told you...
...before you had a second child?

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54 replies to this topic

#1 epl0822

Posted 03 January 2013 - 04:20 PM

Kind of self explanatory....what do you wish somebody had told you before you had your second child?

Is it much different having two kids as opposed to one? Having one kid was enough of a shock to my system....I want to have fair warning before embarking on #2.

#2 sarkazm76

Posted 03 January 2013 - 04:22 PM

My therapist told me it's like going from 1 to 3, lol.  You have your relationship with child 1 to maintain, relationship to build with child 2 and then you have to guide their relationships with each other as well (avoiding jealousy etc etc).  Sigh.
I'll be lurking for others feedback biggrin.gif

#3 Natttmumm

Posted 03 January 2013 - 04:24 PM

Despite what others say for me one was the hardest. Having number 2 didn't make much difference to us. I wish someone told me that as I stressed out beforehand.
Dont stress and keep a positive mind, oh and get a capsule so you can move bub from car asleep

#4 epl0822

Posted 03 January 2013 - 04:26 PM

QUOTE (Natttmumm @ 03/01/2013, 04:24 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Despite what others say for me one was the hardest. Having number 2 didn't make much difference to us. I wish someone told me that as I stressed out beforehand.
Dont stress and keep a positive mind, oh and get a capsule so you can move bub from car asleep

I had a capsule with #1 and found it totally useless...(DS would wake up anyway, he was a fatty and nearly broke my wrist every time I moved him, etc....) would you say it's more useful for a second bub?

#5 *mylittleprince*

Posted 03 January 2013 - 04:29 PM

I've just gone from one to three (twins) and it's been great! I found my first the hardest whereas I feel like I know so much more this time round, especially with regards to sleep and settling.

#6 CupOfCoffee

Posted 03 January 2013 - 04:31 PM

That you might not be a perfect parent after all  laugh.gif

Turns out I just had an easy first child... my second child has shown me flaws in myself that I didn't know existed.

#7 I*Love*Christmas

Posted 03 January 2013 - 04:37 PM

Going from 1 child to 2 children was way easier for me then going from no children to 1. But also my eldest, DS, was a nightmare baby who wouldn't sleep or settle.

The things that are noticeably different:

1) This may sound horrible but I found the milestones and firsts of everything weren't so dramatic and surprisng. Baby 1 got first tooth and it was incredible and then when baby 2 got a first tooth it was more 'meh'. Don't get me wrong it is still special but doesn't come with the fireworks too  wink.gif

2) You definitely don't get as many gifts or fuss which I preferred actually. I was more or less left alone to get use to my new baby. I have bags full of cards and stuff from when DS was born but only a little envelope  of cards from DD.

3) Each baby is likely to be different. Swing was a lifesaver with DS but DD screamed the whole time in it. Capsule was a lifesaver with DS as well but DD never went to sleep in the car.

#8 Fillyjonk

Posted 03 January 2013 - 04:41 PM

I found 1 to 2 a lot easier. Someone could have told me that I will not have anywhere near as much time or mental capacity to fret over the little things like sleep times etc that I did with the first.

#9 belindarama

Posted 03 January 2013 - 04:42 PM

That it would not be anywhere near as bad as I feared! I struggled a bit with the transition to motherhood. Going from one to two was easy in comparison.

I was terrified!

Also, that your standards slip a bit, you just don't have the ability to give number one the same attention you used to. Number 2 doesn't get the same attention number 1 did. The only place this has really mattered for me is discipline. It is just not as easy once you have two. For a start they have the ability to drive each other crazy so that causes more issues than when you just had one playing nicely alone.

Mine do entertain each other but they also argue about what to play, who had a toy first, whose turn it is to do x, y or z and so on.

Also, it is a heck of lot noisier but more fun.

I promise it won't be as bad as you think!

#10 ~benita~

Posted 03 January 2013 - 04:47 PM

That you love that new baby so fiercely and in turn love your first one so much more because they love the baby so much as well.

Then you love your husband so much - basically because it is a great big love in!

#11 FiveAus

Posted 03 January 2013 - 04:57 PM

If someone had told me that first child, who was such a sweet and placid baby, would go from crawling to climbing bookshelves, fences and everything taller than me, and run faster than I could ever dream of, and turn into a one-man demolition derby, by the time child two was 3 months old, I'd have seriously considered having my husband neutered.

#12 Natttmumm

Posted 03 January 2013 - 04:58 PM

For me the capsule was great, DD2 transferred beautifully and slept for ages. Worked for us until around 4 months when she would wake.
I guess they are all different.

#13 SeaPrincess

Posted 03 January 2013 - 05:13 PM

QUOTE (Natttmumm @ 03/01/2013, 02:24 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Despite what others say for me one was the hardest. Having number 2 didn't make much difference to us. I wish someone told me that as I stressed out beforehand.
Dont stress and keep a positive mind, oh and get a capsule so you can move bub from car asleep

I agree with the first part of this - the first baby was by far the hardest!

Capsule didn't work at all for me. I only had one with my third baby and she hated it - every car journey was filled with screams from the time the engine started until we reached our destination.  We had moved interstate and had a hire car and when our own car arrived, we put her into the convertible and she was absolutely fine.

#14 No girls here

Posted 03 January 2013 - 05:19 PM

I think a lot has to do with what the baby is like.

I had my difficult one first, so 1 to 2 was easier than I expected. I know others who had an easy baby for their first and struggled a lot with the second one.

#15 Maple Leaf

Posted 03 January 2013 - 05:35 PM

That the personalities of my 2 girls will be like oil and water and I will spend my days being a referee. Sigh.

Of course, that could never have been predicted, but I would have liked to have been a bit more prepared.

#16 FiveAus

Posted 03 January 2013 - 05:42 PM

QUOTE (Maple Leaf @ 03/01/2013, 06:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
That the personalities of my 2 girls will be like oil and water and I will spend my days being a referee. Sigh.

Of course, that could never have been predicted, but I would have liked to have been a bit more prepared.

LOL! Mine are the same, but my girls were numbers 3 and 4. I got so used to the boys just rubbing along with each other, no fights, just two busy but cruisy little boys.......then along came Miss B, and ohmigod, she came out punching the air and screaming insults at everyone. Four and a half years later her quiet, sensitive sister was born, and it was on for young and old then! Princess Welterweight was in her glory.......someone smaller, someone who screamed back.

#17 **Tiger*Filly**

Posted 03 January 2013 - 05:47 PM


Edited by Tyrone Finkelmeyer, 26 March 2013 - 08:26 PM.

#18 Chelara

Posted 03 January 2013 - 05:48 PM

That it won't bring #1s world crashing down, they'll grow more independent, love the newbie fiercely and just get on with it. They'll also be great company for Mum and a motivator to get out each day.

#19 bikingbubs

Posted 03 January 2013 - 05:49 PM

second has not been as difficult as adjusting to our first.  best bit of advice - dont expect them to be the same! DD is 10 weeks old and totally different in many ways to her brother was!
to the pp that said you dont get as much help (or gifts, but dont care about that!) i found second time around much easier to actually ask for help rather than wait fpr it - although still had plenty of offers!

#20 ajo

Posted 03 January 2013 - 05:51 PM

That they really will be totally different in everything they do!!!! Mt first was in hindsight sooooooo easy but my second didn't sleep like my first, always wanted to be held and feed and was and remains  higher maintenance, so was a real shock when I couldn't get her to sleep 12 hrs a night at three months like my first!!! By my third I was nice a chilled and realized that they all are different and to go with the flow and enjoy the ride as they grow so quickly original.gif

#21 KatakaGeoGirl

Posted 03 January 2013 - 05:58 PM

I wish someone had untold me how hard it was going to be. It was so much easier than I was told by so many people.

But I think it depends on the temperament of the children in question. My first was a very difficult child from get-go - and the second just breezed into life pretty easily, and did everything when she was supposed to.

For me it was a breeze.

#22 snuffles

Posted 03 January 2013 - 07:28 PM

They are different.  My #1 was a velcro baby, screamed when put down and had real issues going to sleep.  #2 was cruisy, happy to be left on the floor for significant periods of time just looking at the things around him, slept pretty well and dealt with his older sister's attentions very patiently, LOL.  #3 was my gogo baby, as soon as he could commando crawl at just over 4 months there was no stopping him and he walked at 10 months.... also, he figured out how to climb the dining table at 8 months.

#23 Chelli

Posted 03 January 2013 - 07:32 PM

That #2 would bring child #1 just as much joy as she did us and that the novelty would not wear off. DD1 loves her sister so much and always has done. That also did not change when DD3 came along. I consider myself very lucky.

#24 mrsshero

Posted 03 January 2013 - 07:54 PM

Just because #1 was a relaxed/easy baby doesn't mean #2 will be a nightmare.
It is possible to have 2 (or even 3) relaxed/easy children original.gif

#25 123tree

Posted 03 January 2013 - 08:12 PM

You will never ever have a tidy house again.

They won't kill each other.  They will love each other and once the newborn is big enough to handle it they wrestle and kiss each other.  All the time.

They love to look after each other more than I would ever have thought or expected.  I have two boys so not sure if a boy girl combination may be different.

It is like the PP said about it all being a big family love in.  

I wish someone had told me that instead of making me think it was going to be hell.

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