Jump to content

What do you wish somebody had told you...
...before you had a second child?


  • Please log in to reply
55 replies to this topic

#1 epl0822

Posted 03 January 2013 - 04:20 PM

Kind of self explanatory....what do you wish somebody had told you before you had your second child?

Is it much different having two kids as opposed to one? Having one kid was enough of a shock to my system....I want to have fair warning before embarking on #2.

#2 sarkazm76

Posted 03 January 2013 - 04:22 PM

My therapist told me it's like going from 1 to 3, lol.  You have your relationship with child 1 to maintain, relationship to build with child 2 and then you have to guide their relationships with each other as well (avoiding jealousy etc etc).  Sigh.
I'll be lurking for others feedback biggrin.gif


#3 Natttmumm

Posted 03 January 2013 - 04:24 PM

Despite what others say for me one was the hardest. Having number 2 didn't make much difference to us. I wish someone told me that as I stressed out beforehand.
Dont stress and keep a positive mind, oh and get a capsule so you can move bub from car asleep

#4 epl0822

Posted 03 January 2013 - 04:26 PM

QUOTE (Natttmumm @ 03/01/2013, 04:24 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Despite what others say for me one was the hardest. Having number 2 didn't make much difference to us. I wish someone told me that as I stressed out beforehand.
Dont stress and keep a positive mind, oh and get a capsule so you can move bub from car asleep

I had a capsule with #1 and found it totally useless...(DS would wake up anyway, he was a fatty and nearly broke my wrist every time I moved him, etc....) would you say it's more useful for a second bub?

#5 *mylittleprince*

Posted 03 January 2013 - 04:29 PM

I've just gone from one to three (twins) and it's been great! I found my first the hardest whereas I feel like I know so much more this time round, especially with regards to sleep and settling.

#6 CupOfCoffee

Posted 03 January 2013 - 04:31 PM

That you might not be a perfect parent after all  laugh.gif

Turns out I just had an easy first child... my second child has shown me flaws in myself that I didn't know existed.

#7 I*Love*Christmas

Posted 03 January 2013 - 04:37 PM

Going from 1 child to 2 children was way easier for me then going from no children to 1. But also my eldest, DS, was a nightmare baby who wouldn't sleep or settle.

The things that are noticeably different:

1) This may sound horrible but I found the milestones and firsts of everything weren't so dramatic and surprisng. Baby 1 got first tooth and it was incredible and then when baby 2 got a first tooth it was more 'meh'. Don't get me wrong it is still special but doesn't come with the fireworks too  wink.gif

2) You definitely don't get as many gifts or fuss which I preferred actually. I was more or less left alone to get use to my new baby. I have bags full of cards and stuff from when DS was born but only a little envelope  of cards from DD.

3) Each baby is likely to be different. Swing was a lifesaver with DS but DD screamed the whole time in it. Capsule was a lifesaver with DS as well but DD never went to sleep in the car.

#8 Fillyjonk

Posted 03 January 2013 - 04:41 PM

I found 1 to 2 a lot easier. Someone could have told me that I will not have anywhere near as much time or mental capacity to fret over the little things like sleep times etc that I did with the first.





#9 belindarama

Posted 03 January 2013 - 04:42 PM

That it would not be anywhere near as bad as I feared! I struggled a bit with the transition to motherhood. Going from one to two was easy in comparison.

I was terrified!

Also, that your standards slip a bit, you just don't have the ability to give number one the same attention you used to. Number 2 doesn't get the same attention number 1 did. The only place this has really mattered for me is discipline. It is just not as easy once you have two. For a start they have the ability to drive each other crazy so that causes more issues than when you just had one playing nicely alone.

Mine do entertain each other but they also argue about what to play, who had a toy first, whose turn it is to do x, y or z and so on.

Also, it is a heck of lot noisier but more fun.

I promise it won't be as bad as you think!

#10 ~benita~

Posted 03 January 2013 - 04:47 PM

That you love that new baby so fiercely and in turn love your first one so much more because they love the baby so much as well.

Then you love your husband so much - basically because it is a great big love in!

#11 FiveAus

Posted 03 January 2013 - 04:57 PM

If someone had told me that first child, who was such a sweet and placid baby, would go from crawling to climbing bookshelves, fences and everything taller than me, and run faster than I could ever dream of, and turn into a one-man demolition derby, by the time child two was 3 months old, I'd have seriously considered having my husband neutered.

#12 Natttmumm

Posted 03 January 2013 - 04:58 PM

For me the capsule was great, DD2 transferred beautifully and slept for ages. Worked for us until around 4 months when she would wake.
I guess they are all different.

#13 SeaPrincess

Posted 03 January 2013 - 05:13 PM

QUOTE (Natttmumm @ 03/01/2013, 02:24 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Despite what others say for me one was the hardest. Having number 2 didn't make much difference to us. I wish someone told me that as I stressed out beforehand.
Dont stress and keep a positive mind, oh and get a capsule so you can move bub from car asleep

I agree with the first part of this - the first baby was by far the hardest!

Capsule didn't work at all for me. I only had one with my third baby and she hated it - every car journey was filled with screams from the time the engine started until we reached our destination.  We had moved interstate and had a hire car and when our own car arrived, we put her into the convertible and she was absolutely fine.

#14 No girls here

Posted 03 January 2013 - 05:19 PM

I think a lot has to do with what the baby is like.

I had my difficult one first, so 1 to 2 was easier than I expected. I know others who had an easy baby for their first and struggled a lot with the second one.

#15 Maple Leaf

Posted 03 January 2013 - 05:35 PM

That the personalities of my 2 girls will be like oil and water and I will spend my days being a referee. Sigh.

Of course, that could never have been predicted, but I would have liked to have been a bit more prepared.


#16 FiveAus

Posted 03 January 2013 - 05:42 PM

QUOTE (Maple Leaf @ 03/01/2013, 06:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
That the personalities of my 2 girls will be like oil and water and I will spend my days being a referee. Sigh.

Of course, that could never have been predicted, but I would have liked to have been a bit more prepared.



LOL! Mine are the same, but my girls were numbers 3 and 4. I got so used to the boys just rubbing along with each other, no fights, just two busy but cruisy little boys.......then along came Miss B, and ohmigod, she came out punching the air and screaming insults at everyone. Four and a half years later her quiet, sensitive sister was born, and it was on for young and old then! Princess Welterweight was in her glory.......someone smaller, someone who screamed back.

#17 **Tiger*Feral**

Posted 03 January 2013 - 05:47 PM

----

Edited by Tyrone Finkelmeyer, 26 March 2013 - 08:26 PM.


#18 Chelara

Posted 03 January 2013 - 05:48 PM

That it won't bring #1s world crashing down, they'll grow more independent, love the newbie fiercely and just get on with it. They'll also be great company for Mum and a motivator to get out each day.

#19 bikingbubs

Posted 03 January 2013 - 05:49 PM

second has not been as difficult as adjusting to our first.  best bit of advice - dont expect them to be the same! DD is 10 weeks old and totally different in many ways to her brother was!
to the pp that said you dont get as much help (or gifts, but dont care about that!) i found second time around much easier to actually ask for help rather than wait fpr it - although still had plenty of offers!

#20 ajo

Posted 03 January 2013 - 05:51 PM

That they really will be totally different in everything they do!!!! Mt first was in hindsight sooooooo easy but my second didn't sleep like my first, always wanted to be held and feed and was and remains  higher maintenance, so was a real shock when I couldn't get her to sleep 12 hrs a night at three months like my first!!! By my third I was nice a chilled and realized that they all are different and to go with the flow and enjoy the ride as they grow so quickly original.gif

#21 KatakaGeoGirl

Posted 03 January 2013 - 05:58 PM

I wish someone had untold me how hard it was going to be. It was so much easier than I was told by so many people.

But I think it depends on the temperament of the children in question. My first was a very difficult child from get-go - and the second just breezed into life pretty easily, and did everything when she was supposed to.

For me it was a breeze.

#22 snuffles

Posted 03 January 2013 - 07:28 PM

They are different.  My #1 was a velcro baby, screamed when put down and had real issues going to sleep.  #2 was cruisy, happy to be left on the floor for significant periods of time just looking at the things around him, slept pretty well and dealt with his older sister's attentions very patiently, LOL.  #3 was my gogo baby, as soon as he could commando crawl at just over 4 months there was no stopping him and he walked at 10 months.... also, he figured out how to climb the dining table at 8 months.



#23 Chelli

Posted 03 January 2013 - 07:32 PM

That #2 would bring child #1 just as much joy as she did us and that the novelty would not wear off. DD1 loves her sister so much and always has done. That also did not change when DD3 came along. I consider myself very lucky.

#24 mrsshero

Posted 03 January 2013 - 07:54 PM

Just because #1 was a relaxed/easy baby doesn't mean #2 will be a nightmare.
It is possible to have 2 (or even 3) relaxed/easy children original.gif

#25 123tree

Posted 03 January 2013 - 08:12 PM

You will never ever have a tidy house again.

They won't kill each other.  They will love each other and once the newborn is big enough to handle it they wrestle and kiss each other.  All the time.

They love to look after each other more than I would ever have thought or expected.  I have two boys so not sure if a boy girl combination may be different.

It is like the PP said about it all being a big family love in.  

I wish someone had told me that instead of making me think it was going to be hell.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

How I learnt to relax about routines

After many routine-led, tough years, we've realised that being parenting isn't about being perfect. It isn't about following a schedule to a T.

Should you have a third child or not?

I thought our family had been complete with our two boys. I had no idea how much I needed my daughter until she was here.

Helping a toddler embrace an adopted sibling

A single parent by choice, I am preparing to adopt a second baby from Morocco. And I face a special challenge.

When pregnancy messes with your self-esteem

Pregnancy doesn't make all women feel beautiful. It certainly doesn't raise every woman's self-esteem.

Join us in The BIG nappy change

Introducing the new Coles Little Explorer Nappies! You can confidently rely on Coles Little Explorer nappies at each stage of your child's growth, so take the Big Nappy Change and try new Coles Little Explorer nappies for yourself!

Robbie Williams live tweets wife's labour

And the award for most patient woman in labour goes to ... Robbie Williams' wife, Ayda Field.

Vaccine ignorance is deadly and contagious

In the absence of credible, strong political leadership, paranoia about disease can go viral.

Parenting differently based on birth order

All children have unique personalities, but keeping birth order in mind could help when parenting.

How to get rid of the mum guilt

Motherhood and guilt seem to go hand in hand, but there are ways to focus

Paid parental leave scheme grinds to a halt

The future of Prime Minister Tony Abbott's paid parental leave scheme appears to be up in the air, despite the fact it is due to begin in less than nine months.

The devastation of foetal alcohol spectrum disorders

No one's sure how many Australians are affected by foetal alcohol spectrum disorders, but the consequences for those who are can be devastating.

The pros and cons of finding out the sex of your unborn baby

It’s often one of the biggest choices parents make during the course of their pregnancy; to find out, or not to find out, the sex of their baby before it’s born.

Toddler's awesome dress up month

Two-year-old Willow and her photographer mum, Gina Lee, made October "Dress Up Willow Month". She posted photos of Willow's costumes on her Instagram account, and her creative takes on popular culture are simply adorable.

Childhood around the world

It can be easy to assume our ideas around childhood are universal, but they are particular to where we live, as these practices show.

Best picks for baby and toddler shoes

Here's a great selection of footwear from pre-walker to walker ensuring comfort and style for growing feet.

I lost my wife and daughters to Ebola - then it came for my son

Sunday, September 21, is a day I will never forget.

The 'yucky' illness that took over my life

I have a chronic illness nobody likes to discuss. It involves toilet talk, and probably caused my miscarriage. But it needs to be talked about.

Prenatal testing: the facts

Prenatal testing is done to check if a baby has certain medical conditions before birth. Here is some important information about what the tests are for and the risks involved.

5 things to do with your baby?s old clothes

Did you think your only option for your baby?s old clothes was to pack them away or give them to the Salvos? Think again.

Why it's possible to not realise you're pregnant until the baby arrives

After hearing about 'surprise babies' born to mums who didn't know they were pregnant, it's common to ask "how did she not realise?" But experts say it's entirely possible for it to happen.

'My miracle is finally here'

How has the world continued on its pace when mine has been altered so drastically?

Dairy can help older women fall pregnant: study

Ice cream may be the ultimate comfort food, but a study suggests it could also help older women to have children.

Megan Gale goes topless for 'sexiest people' cover

Six months after a heavily pregnant Megan Gale posed nude for Marie Claire, the glowing new mum has gone topless for the cover of another magazine.

A new perspective on life from living with two diseases

A mother shares her personal story about the difficulty of living with two conditions, one of which stops her from being able to see her daughter's face.

Warning about Children's Panadol dosage

The Therapeutic Goods Administration has issued a safety advisory warning parents about confusion when using the dosing syringe supplied with Children's Panadol.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Take 'The Coles Big Nappy Change' Challenge

You could become part of our Test Drive team and win one of 200 packs of Coles Little Explorer Nappies as part of our 5-day challenge.

Win 1 of 5 Canon Powershot D30 cameras

Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!

16 parenting truths you won't find in the baby books

I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.

Best and worst potty party cakes

It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.

7 tips for a financially festive Christmas

Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Great birthday party buys from Etsy

Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.

Join us in The BIG nappy change

Introducing the new Coles Little Explorer Nappies! You can confidently rely on Coles Little Explorer nappies at each stage of your child's growth, so take the Big Nappy Change and try new Coles Little Explorer nappies for yourself!

Creative storage ideas for the kids' rooms

Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.

Weird trend

Couple has five babies in 14 months

Julie and David Grygla weren't sure they'd ever have kids - but their dreams have now well and truly come true.

To the mum in the doctor's waiting room

Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.

10 space-saving nursery ideas

Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.

 

What's in a name?

Baby Names

Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.