Jump to content

Polygamy


  • Please log in to reply
77 replies to this topic

#1 snuffles

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:22 AM

I was reading with interest the SS marriage thread and it got me thinking about polygamous marriage as well.

WDYT about polygamy?  Should polygamous marriage be legal, and if so, how would it work?  I imagine it'd be a job to sort out division of assets etc upon the marriage(s) dissolving?

I don't object to polygamous marriage but am unsure how it would all work from a legal standpoint.  Brain easily fried today!  Where is the coffee??



#2 ubermum

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:26 AM

I'd love a polygamist marriage. I could do with an extra husband to get everything done, bring in more money and give me some extra loving. Mine is always so tired with all he has to do. Legally, it would have to be a three way partnership instead of a two way. Not any harder.

#3 imamumto3

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:26 AM

I actually don't mind the concept of polygamist marriage, I wouldn't do it, but I understand why it appeals/works for others.

haven't thought about the legal implications though

#4 Oriental lily

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:27 AM

Are current social construct makes polygamy a legal nightmare regarding income tests and division of assets.

Other than that I am fine with it.

However it always sees the man has more to gain than the woman. And certainly something I would not want.

#5 Katie_bella

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:30 AM

Can't say i would be a fan of the arrangement, not sure it would be as "happy families" as it's portrayed on TV.

Legally, the man would be married to the first wife and all others wouldn't have a legal bond to him (Although i suspect you could contest that in a seperation if you could prove a long standing relationship, similar to mistresses, ie Richard Pratt!)

In Australia, it is illegal to be married to more than one person at a time.

#6 ummi

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:31 AM

i think it should be, if only to give the 3rd partner the same rights and responsibilities as the first two.

#7 naturalgoodness

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:31 AM

I have no issue with the concept, of course I would have to be first wife and be the boss (like Barb in Big Love  rolleyes.gif), sometimes it would be great to take the pressure off me and I firmly believe in the concept of taking a village to raise a child, and you would certainly have plenty of loving people around to assist.

However, the concept and theory and what I have seen on TV is probably just the positive and in reality I would probably hate it as I have never been very good at sharing  ohmy.gif

#8 Oriental lily

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:37 AM

Just imagine.
Three sets of inlaws (or more)
Three sets of families to keep happy at Christmas.

Three MILs!!!!

Blended families x three
Feelings of favoutitism.


It's hard enough to keep two adults in a reationship happy, start adding more????


Also centerlink would implode. Itsimply would.

I am really struggling to see the benefits.

#9 ubermum

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:38 AM

Why do you all think about it in context of one man, multiple wives? If we are having a hypothetical, I'm having it my way. I could stand a household with multiple men, but the thought of having to live/ be in a relationship with multiple women *shudder*.

#10 Sif

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:44 AM

I'm with ubermum, people need to not get stuck on multiple wives - although, polygamy strictly means multiple wives - there's polyandry as well, and if we were to have one, we should also have the other!

If I could find another man to tie my heart to, I'd be all for it! I would like one who was a bit more spontaneous and had more of sex drive (wouldn't have to be much more, just a bit more), and who wouldn't mind another couple of kids and was a bit of a workaholic...

Would be great!

#11 Ingrid the Swan

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:44 AM

I have no problem with polygamous marriages in theory, as long as the same rules of informed consent apply to all parties in the marriage - that means that one party cannot unilaterally decide to marry someone else without their current spouse's full, informed and non-coerced consent.

I also agree that the current system of family tax breaks, social security, inheritance and family law (including parentage presumptions) would have to change.

I don't have all the answers, but if a polygamist lobby group sprung up with a plan for changes that would be fair to the polygamist partnerships themselves as well as the broader society / taxpayers, then I'd fully support them.

#12 Oriental lily

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:45 AM

I have never ever see a example of a polygamy family with multiple men and one woman.

While the majority of woman would never consider sharing a man.. I think for a man sharing a woman is simply unthinkable so would be so rare that it's almost unheard of. If it was happening I doubt they would want to broadcast it tothe world by marrying.

I think polygamy is often related to partrichial religions anyway.




#13 bokchok

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:46 AM

the zulu's still do it (take many wives) and the current south african president has..i've lost count on how many wives.

i dont agree with it nor understand it - like what is the purpose of having multiple wives or husbands in terms of what would their roles be in relation to you, is there a hierarchy etc

never mind all those cooties lol

#14 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:47 AM

Nice in theory, but I don't think it would be much fun in reality.  Legally or emotionally.

#15 deejie

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:48 AM

QUOTE (ubermum @ 03/01/2013, 12:38 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Why do you all think about it in context of one man, multiple wives? If we are having a hypothetical, I'm having it my way. I could stand a household with multiple men


Now see, for me, the thought of having multiple husbands just sounds awful! My libido is bad enough with babies and breastfeeding, I couldn't possibly imagine being "pestered" for sex any more than I am already with just ONE man in the house biggrin.gif

Plus I would quite possibly have more of them to pick up after. And multiple MILs. Sounds awful! original.gif

#16 steppy

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:52 AM

I wouldn't mind it if it was across the board whatever you want - like, two couples married, 3 men, 5 women, whatever mix works. BUT - I doubt I'd go anywhere near such an arrangement in practice - the legal and familial ramifications are just too horrid to contemplate.

#17 BadCat

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:54 AM

I have no issue with polygamy if everyone in the arrangement is happy with it.

It's not for me though.  I couldn't live with another woman without going bonkers and I couldn't be bothered with the amount of sex required for two husbands.

Although if the second bloke was a eunuch...

#18 Ingrid the Swan

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:55 AM

I have actually seen a polyamorous relationship between three women before. It worked well - for awhile anyway. I know each relationship is different but maybe there's a change in dynamic if all of the participants are sexually attracted to each other rather than the Big Love style depictions? [Edit: just realised how that could have sounded and wanted to point out that I was friends with the participants, and was not a participant myself - just putting it out there although it doesn't really matter].

Ultimately it's not a choice I personally would ever make, but I wouldn't begrudge others the right to make that choice if they wanted to. It's the misuse for deceptive purposes, or for the purposes of gaining welfare advantages, or for massive power imbalances to be exploited, that would have me concerned - if those were addressed then it's not my business to tell others that their relationships can't be recognised.

Edited by Dabri, 03 January 2013 - 11:57 AM.


#19 librablonde

Posted 03 January 2013 - 12:00 PM

I have no problem with it as long as all are consenting adults and all agree to the new spouse and any future spouses. If it works for those families, who am I to disagree with it?

I agree that laws/ tax/ property settlements and Centrelink would have to also be upgraded to include those families. If the modern world can create and maintain an international space station then I'm sure we could work out inclusive laws for polygamists.

#20 CountryFeral

Posted 03 January 2013 - 12:01 PM

All the advantages I imagine polygamy would bring to my life I have realised could easily be fixed with a cleaner and some nookie on the side.

Much easier.

#21 bambiigrrl

Posted 03 January 2013 - 12:03 PM

id love an excuse to have another wedding! That was the most fun day ever! I am quite sad its over! But thats about the only benefit i could see, there would definatly be too much jealousy

#22 noi'mnot

Posted 03 January 2013 - 12:07 PM

QUOTE (deejie @ 03/01/2013, 12:48 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Now see, for me, the thought of having multiple husbands just sounds awful! My libido is bad enough with babies and breastfeeding, I couldn't possibly imagine being "pestered" for sex any more than I am already with just ONE man in the house biggrin.gif


But couldn't they just pester each other? That might be a nice break for you, if they were keeping each other busy.

#23 MintyBiscuit

Posted 03 January 2013 - 12:08 PM

I don't have an issue with polyamorous relationships, but as far as legalising it I think it's a long way down the list. I think the legal ramifications would be quite far reaching, and as someone else mentioned it would have impacts regarding things like Centrelink. There would also be taxation issues, property issues, superannuation issues, and any number of other things that marriage complicates that would just be further complicated. I think the time and effort spent convince the Australian public and then to legalise it would be far better spent on any number of issues, like legalising gay marriage, or euthanasia, or banning tobacco.

#24 HeroOfCanton

Posted 03 January 2013 - 12:14 PM

I've got no problems with people marrying more than one partner.
It would have to be equal, a woman could have more than one husband AND vice versa.

Agree that it would also be a nightmare for centrelink, BDM etc though.

and I really hate it when anti-SS-marriage crazies come out and say "legalise SS marriage & the next step is polygamy" - um yeah, so what? As long as it's consensual for all parties, go for it!

#25 Magnus

Posted 03 January 2013 - 12:14 PM

My socially liberal side thinks that people should be able to marry who they want (minus children, animals, objects). I don't actually like how society is completely structured around the idea of couple/ nuclear family units and these are socially and sometimes legally privileged over different forms of relationships.

My feminist side has big alarm bells ringing. As PPs said some of the religions this practice is associated with (e.g. fundy mormons) are very patriarchal. It seems like the men could end up with all the power, with the women having very little say in how the relationship is run and whether more partners should be included. If it ends up like a personal fiefdom, rather than an equal relationship, I'm not for it.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

'Tired' mum dies of undiagnosed diabetes

New mum Nicky Rigby thought her exhaustion was due to the demands of looking after her baby. But the 26-year-old was seriously ill with diabetes, and died due to her condition not being diagnosed.

20 signs of a great relationship

The secret to a perfect relationship is admitting you are wrong after an argument, five kisses a day and sex twice a week, a new survey suggests.

Video: emotional 60-second Robin Williams tribute

Take a minute to remember some of the greatest films of your childhood ... and have a few tissues close at hand.

The realities of escaping domestic violence

?Why doesn?t she just leave?? is the common question people ask when trying to understand domestic violence. For many, leaving the relationship is far from straightforward.

Home truths: the DIY dos and don'ts

A professional renovator gives advice on which jobs you should do yourself, and which you should outsource.

Parenting lessons I?ve yet to learn

Instead of writing about the stuff I do know since becoming a mum, I thought I'd share some of the things I don't. These are the lessons that motherhood hasn't taught me.

Will I be wrecked 'down there' after birth?

Did you worry about how you would look "down there" after giving birth? This mum-to-be found plenty of women willing to share their knowledge.

The new weekend playgroup for working mums

Playgroups are great for kids and parents alike - but the downside is that they often meet during the week, leaving working mums out of the loop.

Letting your toddler be the boss at bedtime

Sick of spending hours trying to get your toddler to sleep? These experts say giving your child more of a say at bedtime might be the answer.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

Consulting 'Dr Google' when you're pregnant

We're all guilty of turning to the internet for a quick answer when we need medical advice, but Dr Google should be approached with caution - especially when you're pregnant.

16 ways to tie a scarf

Scarfs are the perfect winter accessory. Whether you're freezing at soccer training or wanting to add a splash of colour to a monochrome top, the right scarf will sort you out in no time. Just ask Nina Proudman.

Video: When adults act like children

Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.

The simple way to support other parents

We may be raising children of different ages and sexes, with different personalities, but we, as parents, aren't that different - we all have similar struggles, fears, doubts, responsibilities.

Seeing the big picture when it comes to parenting

Sometimes it feels like hundreds of tiny cracks are spreading across the surface of our lives, creeping slowly into the foundations and threatening to make them crumble. How do we hold it all together?

How to spot a lactaboobiephobia sufferer

Lactation consultant Meg Nagle refused to stay silent when Facebook removed two photos of her breastfeeding. Instead, she coined a term to describe those who don't recognise breastfeeding for the natural and non-sexual act that it is.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Do you suffer from Precious Firstborn Syndrome?

Testing ?no more tears? shampoo in your own eyes, warming cucumber sticks so they're not cold straight from the fridge, waking a sleeping baby to check they?re still breathing: these are all symptoms of Precious Firstborn Syndrome.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Video: When adults act like children

Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.

Mums hit hardest as flu cases skyrocket

The number of confirmed cases of influenza in Australia has doubled the number for the same time last year - and women are 25 per cent more likely to get it.

The mum who had four babies in nine months

Feeling exhausted due to the demands of caring for a baby? Imagine the life of this mum, who gave birth to three boys and one girl in just nine months.

Everything baby at Big W

Lowest prices on everything baby, only at Big W. Sale starts August 4 and ends August 20 2014.

Smiggle is painting the town red!

We have 3 Red Smiggle prize packs to give away! Enter by posting a photo of something red to your Instagram.

Mum gives birth at school

Most kids have their own personal brand of oddity. Others, like these 10 weird habits, crop up again and again.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.