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#1 snuffles

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:22 AM

I was reading with interest the SS marriage thread and it got me thinking about polygamous marriage as well.

WDYT about polygamy?  Should polygamous marriage be legal, and if so, how would it work?  I imagine it'd be a job to sort out division of assets etc upon the marriage(s) dissolving?

I don't object to polygamous marriage but am unsure how it would all work from a legal standpoint.  Brain easily fried today!  Where is the coffee??

#2 ubermum

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:26 AM

I'd love a polygamist marriage. I could do with an extra husband to get everything done, bring in more money and give me some extra loving. Mine is always so tired with all he has to do. Legally, it would have to be a three way partnership instead of a two way. Not any harder.

#3 imamumto3

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:26 AM

I actually don't mind the concept of polygamist marriage, I wouldn't do it, but I understand why it appeals/works for others.

haven't thought about the legal implications though

#4 Oriental lily

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:27 AM

Are current social construct makes polygamy a legal nightmare regarding income tests and division of assets.

Other than that I am fine with it.

However it always sees the man has more to gain than the woman. And certainly something I would not want.

#5 Katie_bella

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:30 AM

Can't say i would be a fan of the arrangement, not sure it would be as "happy families" as it's portrayed on TV.

Legally, the man would be married to the first wife and all others wouldn't have a legal bond to him (Although i suspect you could contest that in a seperation if you could prove a long standing relationship, similar to mistresses, ie Richard Pratt!)

In Australia, it is illegal to be married to more than one person at a time.

#6 ummi

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:31 AM

i think it should be, if only to give the 3rd partner the same rights and responsibilities as the first two.

#7 naturalgoodness

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:31 AM

I have no issue with the concept, of course I would have to be first wife and be the boss (like Barb in Big Love  rolleyes.gif), sometimes it would be great to take the pressure off me and I firmly believe in the concept of taking a village to raise a child, and you would certainly have plenty of loving people around to assist.

However, the concept and theory and what I have seen on TV is probably just the positive and in reality I would probably hate it as I have never been very good at sharing  ohmy.gif

#8 Oriental lily

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:37 AM

Just imagine.
Three sets of inlaws (or more)
Three sets of families to keep happy at Christmas.

Three MILs!!!!

Blended families x three
Feelings of favoutitism.

It's hard enough to keep two adults in a reationship happy, start adding more????

Also centerlink would implode. Itsimply would.

I am really struggling to see the benefits.

#9 ubermum

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:38 AM

Why do you all think about it in context of one man, multiple wives? If we are having a hypothetical, I'm having it my way. I could stand a household with multiple men, but the thought of having to live/ be in a relationship with multiple women *shudder*.

#10 Sif

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:44 AM

I'm with ubermum, people need to not get stuck on multiple wives - although, polygamy strictly means multiple wives - there's polyandry as well, and if we were to have one, we should also have the other!

If I could find another man to tie my heart to, I'd be all for it! I would like one who was a bit more spontaneous and had more of sex drive (wouldn't have to be much more, just a bit more), and who wouldn't mind another couple of kids and was a bit of a workaholic...

Would be great!

#11 Ingrid the Swan

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:44 AM

I have no problem with polygamous marriages in theory, as long as the same rules of informed consent apply to all parties in the marriage - that means that one party cannot unilaterally decide to marry someone else without their current spouse's full, informed and non-coerced consent.

I also agree that the current system of family tax breaks, social security, inheritance and family law (including parentage presumptions) would have to change.

I don't have all the answers, but if a polygamist lobby group sprung up with a plan for changes that would be fair to the polygamist partnerships themselves as well as the broader society / taxpayers, then I'd fully support them.

#12 Oriental lily

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:45 AM

I have never ever see a example of a polygamy family with multiple men and one woman.

While the majority of woman would never consider sharing a man.. I think for a man sharing a woman is simply unthinkable so would be so rare that it's almost unheard of. If it was happening I doubt they would want to broadcast it tothe world by marrying.

I think polygamy is often related to partrichial religions anyway.

#13 bokchok

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:46 AM

the zulu's still do it (take many wives) and the current south african president has..i've lost count on how many wives.

i dont agree with it nor understand it - like what is the purpose of having multiple wives or husbands in terms of what would their roles be in relation to you, is there a hierarchy etc

never mind all those cooties lol

#14 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:47 AM

Nice in theory, but I don't think it would be much fun in reality.  Legally or emotionally.

#15 deejie

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:48 AM

QUOTE (ubermum @ 03/01/2013, 12:38 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Why do you all think about it in context of one man, multiple wives? If we are having a hypothetical, I'm having it my way. I could stand a household with multiple men

Now see, for me, the thought of having multiple husbands just sounds awful! My libido is bad enough with babies and breastfeeding, I couldn't possibly imagine being "pestered" for sex any more than I am already with just ONE man in the house biggrin.gif

Plus I would quite possibly have more of them to pick up after. And multiple MILs. Sounds awful! original.gif

#16 steppy

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:52 AM

I wouldn't mind it if it was across the board whatever you want - like, two couples married, 3 men, 5 women, whatever mix works. BUT - I doubt I'd go anywhere near such an arrangement in practice - the legal and familial ramifications are just too horrid to contemplate.

#17 BadCat

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:54 AM

I have no issue with polygamy if everyone in the arrangement is happy with it.

It's not for me though.  I couldn't live with another woman without going bonkers and I couldn't be bothered with the amount of sex required for two husbands.

Although if the second bloke was a eunuch...

#18 Ingrid the Swan

Posted 03 January 2013 - 11:55 AM

I have actually seen a polyamorous relationship between three women before. It worked well - for awhile anyway. I know each relationship is different but maybe there's a change in dynamic if all of the participants are sexually attracted to each other rather than the Big Love style depictions? [Edit: just realised how that could have sounded and wanted to point out that I was friends with the participants, and was not a participant myself - just putting it out there although it doesn't really matter].

Ultimately it's not a choice I personally would ever make, but I wouldn't begrudge others the right to make that choice if they wanted to. It's the misuse for deceptive purposes, or for the purposes of gaining welfare advantages, or for massive power imbalances to be exploited, that would have me concerned - if those were addressed then it's not my business to tell others that their relationships can't be recognised.

Edited by Dabri, 03 January 2013 - 11:57 AM.

#19 librablonde

Posted 03 January 2013 - 12:00 PM

I have no problem with it as long as all are consenting adults and all agree to the new spouse and any future spouses. If it works for those families, who am I to disagree with it?

I agree that laws/ tax/ property settlements and Centrelink would have to also be upgraded to include those families. If the modern world can create and maintain an international space station then I'm sure we could work out inclusive laws for polygamists.

#20 HRH Countrymel

Posted 03 January 2013 - 12:01 PM

All the advantages I imagine polygamy would bring to my life I have realised could easily be fixed with a cleaner and some nookie on the side.

Much easier.

#21 bambiigrrl

Posted 03 January 2013 - 12:03 PM

id love an excuse to have another wedding! That was the most fun day ever! I am quite sad its over! But thats about the only benefit i could see, there would definatly be too much jealousy

#22 noi'mnot

Posted 03 January 2013 - 12:07 PM

QUOTE (deejie @ 03/01/2013, 12:48 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Now see, for me, the thought of having multiple husbands just sounds awful! My libido is bad enough with babies and breastfeeding, I couldn't possibly imagine being "pestered" for sex any more than I am already with just ONE man in the house biggrin.gif

But couldn't they just pester each other? That might be a nice break for you, if they were keeping each other busy.

#23 MintyBiscuit

Posted 03 January 2013 - 12:08 PM

I don't have an issue with polyamorous relationships, but as far as legalising it I think it's a long way down the list. I think the legal ramifications would be quite far reaching, and as someone else mentioned it would have impacts regarding things like Centrelink. There would also be taxation issues, property issues, superannuation issues, and any number of other things that marriage complicates that would just be further complicated. I think the time and effort spent convince the Australian public and then to legalise it would be far better spent on any number of issues, like legalising gay marriage, or euthanasia, or banning tobacco.

#24 CherrySunday

Posted 03 January 2013 - 12:14 PM

I've got no problems with people marrying more than one partner.
It would have to be equal, a woman could have more than one husband AND vice versa.

Agree that it would also be a nightmare for centrelink, BDM etc though.

and I really hate it when anti-SS-marriage crazies come out and say "legalise SS marriage & the next step is polygamy" - um yeah, so what? As long as it's consensual for all parties, go for it!

#25 Magnus

Posted 03 January 2013 - 12:14 PM

My socially liberal side thinks that people should be able to marry who they want (minus children, animals, objects). I don't actually like how society is completely structured around the idea of couple/ nuclear family units and these are socially and sometimes legally privileged over different forms of relationships.

My feminist side has big alarm bells ringing. As PPs said some of the religions this practice is associated with (e.g. fundy mormons) are very patriarchal. It seems like the men could end up with all the power, with the women having very little say in how the relationship is run and whether more partners should be included. If it ends up like a personal fiefdom, rather than an equal relationship, I'm not for it.

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