Jump to content
nearly 9yo DS aggro behaviour
1 reply to this topic
Posted 03 January 2013 - 08:54 AM
I'm really worried about my DS who will turn 9 years in March. He is very bright and teachers are saying he may fall into the gifted and talented range as he has been in grade 2 but regularly went into the grade 4/5 class as he wasn't challenged elsewhere. Anyway, that is one aspect of him- he has a higher understanding of many concepts most children his age don't grasp etc. yet he plays well with his peers and isn't overly socially mature.. he is into most things that boys his age are: nerf guns, Lego, books (he's reading the Harry Potter series just now but will read Zac Powers, Tashi etc in between)
Just recently, we have seen some worrying behavioural changes: he has become quite aggressive towards us - his brothers and my DH and I. My parents were staying with us over Christmas and he even called them stupid dumb faces and told them to shut up when he was ranting one morning. It was most apparent on Boxing day so I started to think about the food he'd eaten on Christmas day- soft drinks that he usually doesn't have, lots of chocoate etc.. yet since then, he's behaved in similar way some days when there hasn't been anything unusual about his diet. I've been giving him porridge most mornings and tried to steer clear of any processed foods but it doesn't seem to have changed things. He carried on again this morning- "you're a d*ck face mum" "you're such an idiot" this and that is "stupid" You made my toast go cold.. everyone is an idiot.. and so on. Punctuated with loud noises and screeches..He has become extremely defiant too- no, I'm not doing that, going there etc.. you can't make me, no=one is the boss of me,e tc.
I told him last week that I was going to monitor his behaviour and if there wasn't an improvement then we might have to go and see a doctor about him as it can't continue like this. Well, he started sobbing and said he didn't want to see a doctor (he even said that I know you mean a psychologist even tho I hadn't mentioned this) but I just said that we are worried about him and understand that he might not understand himself why he gets so angry and that we weren't cross with him but loved him and wanted to try to sort things out. I also said that we don't expect him to be good all the time (he is always good at school and never have had a bad report of his behaviour anywhere outside the home) as that is impossible and exhausting but I think he does have high expectations of himself and this might be a part of it all..
There is another element: he has a friend whose parents are separated and he lives with his father and two older sisters. anyway, this father invited my son over one day and I wasn't overly thrilled as the boy is into all sorts of games and talks about killing things etc.. but I let him go and found out the next day that the father had let my son (and his own 8yo) watch the Hunger Games movie. I was furious as we are really careful about the kinds of things our children watch and told my husband that there were to be no more plays at their house for a while as I cannot believe that a father would allow that- I've seen that film and it really disturbed me and there is a reason it is rated PG 13+.. beside the point but I am wondering whether this alone could have been a trigger for something with my son.. combination of a rush of hormones in his body, impressionable age, hanging out with this boy playing inappropriate and violent made up games and then seeing this film.
I really feel at my wits end: I am exhausted by this and worried about my son but also how his behaviour is impacting on his two siblings DS 10yo and DS 6yo. They just go quiet when he is ranting and try to keep out of his way. He sometimes hits his younger brother but so far that is the extent of it although he might brush past me in a rough way in passing when he is aggro. My Dh and I think we should try to get an appointment with our GP then see if we can get a referral to a child psychologist to see if there is more to it than just his age..
I'd appreciate any advice from anyone who is experiencing similar or who has been through it with a child. Many thanks x
Posted 03 January 2013 - 02:14 PM
Yes, I have dealt with similar behavior from my daughter -- she has a lot of stuff going on (giftedness, ASD, ADHD). It's hard stuff, isn't it?
There is no reason for you to try to muddle through this by yourself and feel overwhelmed in the process. I think your and your husband's inclination to consult a psychologist is a good one -- not necessarily because there is some underlying condition but rather to get some professional guidance on how to help your son build a better toolkit *and* to give you guys strategies for mitigating his challenging behaviors. When things are impacting family life to the degree you've described, it's time to call in some help.
I look at every assessment and every professional consulted as an opportunity to better understand her complicated wiring. Frankly, we would be lost without the expert advice we've been given by good professionals!
Are you in Melbourne? I might be able to get some good recommendations from my twice exceptional network there (I belong to a group for parents of gifted kids who also have special needs and/or learning differences). Your GP can refer you to a psychologist.
In addition to getting some guidance on managing behaviorals, you might want to also think about getting cognitive testing (IQ) done so that you & his teachers have a better idea of whether/not he is gifted (and if so, to what degree) and learn more about his learning style.
Good luck & good for you for wanting to get a handle on things before they get any worse. I imagien this is not an easy time for your son, either, so I feel for him as well!
Edited by baddmammajamma, 03 January 2013 - 02:15 PM.
1 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users
To celebrate the launch of EB member and contributor Julia's Watson's first book, we have five copies of Breakfast, School Run, Chemo give away.
The possibility of using electronic bracelets for mothers and their newborn babies is being investigated by Adelaide's Women's and Children's Hospital.
As a parent there are so many milestones to look forward to. That first smile, first word - and, of course, that first step.
Tomorrow my friend Julia launches her first book. And while we're all overjoyed, the success is tinged with sadness. You see, Julia has stage 4 bowel cancer.
Call me boring, but I don't think that when it comes to choosing my twins' names is the right time to use a good pun.
The babies of 2015 will thus be thrilled to paddle their happy baby legs in these brand new flamingo and swan baby inflatables.
Here are 10 tips to help make breastfeeding successful and stress free for both you and your baby as quickly as possible.
This mum had a big clean up job on her hands.
Pandas are the only ones who benefit from under-eye shadows. If you're not fluffy and cute, you'll just look tired.
A mother has died after she was denied a pap smear because she was deemed "too young" to need it.
A childcare centre in Sydney has banned birthday cakes after parent complaints about excessive sugar and children with allergies being left out.
As the radiographer moved the wand over her abdomen, Shelley King got the surprise of her life.
Louise Fulton Keats shares her recipes for babies and toddlers, including corn and sweet pikelets, pumpkin and pea risotto, and cheesy bunny biscuits.
A 31-year-old man has been arrested over the death of two-year-old Nikki Francis-Coslovich in Mildura.
Pregnant women will no longer be barred from adoption waiting lists in NSW, after the Baird Government decided the practice was discriminatory.
Magnesium is the fourth most abundant mineral in the body, but we don't talk enough about it and the vital role it plays in great health and energy, as well as disease prevention.
Take heart in these principles that will transfer seamlessly from the workplace into your new life as a parent.
A creative outlet for many, there are some savvy women complementing their blogs and businesses with riveting Instagrams feeds. We've chosen a few which have bucketloads of appeal; there are some big time players and some smaller local ones, and they each bring their special brand of magic to the Instagram experience.
The new Volvo XC90 SUV's focus on keeping you safe does not come at the expense of comfort in the XC90.
Kim Kardashian has revealed complications during pregnancy means she might have to have a hysterectomy after the birth of her second child.
Loath as you may be to admit it, chances are that at some point you have found yourself in the kitchen late at night, devouring food.
They say twins have a unique connection. If this cute clip is anything to go by, these toddler sisters like to use their special bond to try to fool their mother.
Getting out of the house is a big priority in the early years of parenthood and you need to take a well-stocked kit with you. We've chosen 10 of the best nappy bags sure to appeal to dads in style and function.
To celebrate Essential Baby reaching half a million Facebook fans, we have a Mountain Buggy Swift to giveaway to a lucky fan.
Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.
Top 5 Articles
For women trying to encourage their partners to take more interest in fatherhood, it could be the ultimate incentive.
Conditions affecting the gastrointestinal tract are common in modern humans, and many are on the rise - including irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) and coeliac disease.
Tired of being asked about their baby-making plans, Australian couple Matt and Abby decided to give a creative answer.
I bet your to-do list today is long. But somewhere on that massive list, are you making time for your pelvic floor?
Some babies get excited when mum or dad come to get them from their cot after a nap.
Even if you aren't heading to the Northern hemisphere in the next six months, you can't help but love the amazing food-themed knits for babies and kids by cult kids brand Oeuf.
A paediatricians' group is recommending that infants at high risk of peanut allergies be given foods containing peanuts before they turn one.
Supermarket home brand foods, long derided as cheap and inferior, contain far lower levels of salt than pricier, branded rivals, new research shows.
Ever dreaded the prospect of a long flight, dreaming about how wonderful it would be for a nanny to entertain the kids?
Tired of being asked about their baby-making plans, Australian couple Matt and Abby decided to give a creative answer: with an unusual photo shoot with their 'baby', a groodle (poodle/golden retriever cross) named Humphrey. The talented Elisha from Elisha Minnette Photography caught all the precious shots.
My husband was sure that Danger was a good option for a boy. And as the pregnancy progressed, it actually started to sound really good.
In a world first, a healthy baby has been born from the same womb that nurtured his own mother.
It's one way to make your baby stand out from the pack – giving them not one, but two first names.
When I fell pregnant with my second child I was, naturally, very excited. Then it all started to come back to me - and I freaked.
You're out shopping with your little one and they're incessantly whining that they want a treat. It's easy to say no ... the first time, at least.
Three months ago, my wife, Chrysta, and I were driving along Melrose Avenue in Los Angeles when she let out a harrowing cry.
There comes a time when your child starts having different views to you. I didn't realise that time would come so soon.
To celebrate dads and families, we are giving away a Picos Pack from Pacapod Australia filled with a few extra goodies ENTER NOW
Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!