Jump to content

nearly 9yo DS aggro behaviour


  • Please log in to reply
1 reply to this topic

#1 smultron

Posted 03 January 2013 - 08:54 AM

I'm really worried about my DS who will turn 9 years in March.  He is very bright and teachers are saying he may fall into the gifted and talented range as he has been in grade 2 but regularly went into the grade 4/5 class as he wasn't challenged elsewhere.  Anyway, that is one aspect of him- he has a higher understanding of many concepts most children his age don't grasp etc. yet he plays well with his peers and isn't overly socially mature.. he is into most things that boys his age are: nerf guns, Lego, books (he's reading the Harry Potter series just now but will read Zac Powers, Tashi etc in between)

Just recently, we have seen some worrying behavioural changes: he has become quite aggressive towards us - his brothers and my DH and I.  My parents were staying with us over Christmas and he even called them stupid dumb faces and told them to shut up when he was ranting one morning.  It was most apparent on Boxing day so I started to think about the food he'd eaten on Christmas day- soft drinks that he usually doesn't have, lots of chocoate etc.. yet since then, he's behaved in similar way some days when there hasn't been anything unusual about his diet.  I've been giving him porridge most mornings and tried to steer clear of any processed foods but it doesn't seem to have changed things.  He carried on again this morning- "you're a d*ck face mum" "you're such an idiot" this and that is "stupid" You made my toast go cold.. everyone is an idiot.. and so on.  Punctuated with loud noises and screeches..He has become extremely defiant too- no, I'm not doing that, going there etc.. you can't make me, no=one is the boss of me,e tc.

I told him last week that I was going to monitor his behaviour and if there wasn't an improvement then we might have to go and see a doctor about him as it can't continue like this.  Well, he started sobbing and said he didn't want to see a doctor (he even said that I know you mean a psychologist even tho I hadn't mentioned this)  but I just said that we are worried about him and understand that he might not understand himself why he gets so angry and that we weren't cross with him but loved him and wanted to try to sort things out. I also said that we don't expect him to be good all the time (he is always good at school and never have had a bad report of his behaviour anywhere outside the home) as that is impossible and exhausting but I think he does have high expectations of himself and this might be a part of it all..

There is another element: he has a friend whose parents are separated and he lives with his father and two older sisters.  anyway, this father invited my son over one day and I wasn't overly thrilled as the boy is into all sorts of games and talks about killing things etc.. but I let him go and found out the next day that the father had let my son (and his own 8yo) watch the Hunger Games movie.  I was furious as we are really careful about the kinds of things our children watch and told my husband that there were to be no more plays at their house for a while as I cannot believe that a father would allow that- I've seen that film and it really disturbed me and there is a reason it is rated PG 13+.. beside the point but I am wondering whether this alone could have been a trigger for something with my son.. combination of a rush of hormones in his body, impressionable age, hanging out with this boy playing inappropriate and violent made up games and then seeing this film.  

I really feel at my wits end: I am exhausted by this and worried about my son but also how his behaviour is impacting on his two siblings DS 10yo and DS 6yo. They just go quiet when he is ranting and try to keep out of his way.  He sometimes hits his younger brother but so far that is the extent of it although he might brush past me in a rough way in passing when he is aggro.  My Dh and I think we should try to get an appointment with our GP then see if we can get a referral to a child psychologist to see if there is more to it than just his age..

I'd appreciate any advice from anyone who is experiencing similar or who has been through it with a child.  Many thanks x


#2 baddmammajamma

Posted 03 January 2013 - 02:14 PM

smultron:

Yes, I have dealt with similar behavior from my daughter -- she has a lot of stuff going on (giftedness, ASD, ADHD). It's hard stuff, isn't it?

There is no reason for you to try to muddle through this by yourself and feel overwhelmed in the process. I think your and your husband's inclination to consult a psychologist is a good one -- not necessarily because there is some underlying condition but rather to get some professional guidance on how to help your son build a better toolkit *and* to give you guys strategies for mitigating his challenging behaviors. When things are impacting family life to the degree you've described, it's time to call in some help.

I look at every assessment and every professional consulted as an opportunity to better understand her complicated wiring. Frankly, we would be lost without the expert advice we've been given by good professionals!

Are you in Melbourne? I might be able to get some good recommendations from my twice exceptional network there (I belong to a group for parents of gifted kids who also have special needs and/or learning differences). Your GP can refer you to a psychologist.

In addition to getting some guidance on managing behaviorals, you might want to also think about getting cognitive testing (IQ) done so that you & his teachers have a better idea of whether/not he is gifted (and if so, to what degree) and learn more about his learning style.

Good luck & good for you for wanting to get a handle on things before they get any worse. I imagien this is not an easy time for your son, either, so I feel for him as well!

Edited by baddmammajamma, 03 January 2013 - 02:15 PM.





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

Dealing with a toddler's morning tantrums

Your schedule is not important to your two-year-old, and you cannot convince her otherwise. So what can you do?

Child in suitcase 'could have died eight years ago'

A child whose remains were dumped in a suitcase in the South Australian bush is believed to have been a girl aged between two-and-a-half to four.

MP breastfeeds baby during parliamentary session

An Argentinian mum and politician has caused a stir on social media after being filmed breastfeeding her baby.

My baby's first seizure

It was 1am on a cold winter's night when I woke suddenly to the screams of my 12-month-old son. Our lives were about to change forever.

Portable pools 'more dangerous than permanent ones'

Inflatable and portable children's pools may be required to be sold with compulsory fencing to prevent backyard drownings, with some experts even floating the idea of a ban.

Heartbreaking moment mum kisses her one-week-old goodbye

At 11.07am on April 2 this year, Sarah Marriott welcomed baby Sebastian into the world.

The amazing Tee Pee bed and kid-friendly Frankie Bunk bed

These kids' beds definitely fit the brief of providing personality and personal space for little people who are moving up in the world.

The funny things kids say when you're pregnant

Since becoming noticeably pregnant, my son has taken more of an interest in the sibling he'll soon have.

The real problem with having one child

In this age of political correctness, it seems the one subject still subject to discrimination is that of the Only Child.

Six-week-old baby found dead, believed stabbed

A neighbour heard a child screaming before a baby was found dead, believed to have been stabbed, in a house in Newcastle.

The fire hazard in more than 70,000 Australian homes

So far, 206 Samsung washing machines have caught fire and some have exploded. But many remain in people's homes.

How having a baby can bring on OCD

We all know that having a baby can turn your life upside down - and it can also bring a raft of new anxieties and worries.

IVF gender selection being considered for Australian parents

Couples using IVF may be able to choose the gender of their babies and women could be financially compensated for donating their eggs.

The best age to get married (according to the latest study)

Not too young, and not too old. That's reportedly the best age to get married. Not everyone agrees.

Yes, you can get pregnant before your period returns post-baby

After giving birth, the last thing you want to think about is contraception. But you can get pregnant before your period comes back.

Fellow diner rewards mum after toddler's tantrum

Parents of toddlers everywhere know the feeling. After working up the courage to take your child out for lunch or dinner in public you are rewarded with a mid-meal meltdown. 

IKEA begins massive safety campaign after two toddler deaths

Two children were killed when pieces from their Malm furniture line tipped over.

Beaneasy: sweet nursery furniture with a twist

If you're looking to introduce an organic element into your baby's nursery but want to step away from natural timber, we have the perfect alternative.

A dad's guide to hyperemesis

I am in no way qualified to advise women on how to cope with hyperemesis, but I've learnt some lessons that might be worth sharing with other partners.

Woman adopts best friend's four daughters after cancer tragedy

Best friends share everything - and for these two life-long friends, that includes family.

Baby Leo's mum excluded from $500K trust 'for her own protection'

Samuel Forrest didn't want his wife as a trustee of their baby Leo's half million dollar trust for her own "protection", it has emerged.

Confirmed: men gain weight when they become dads

Men who become fathers experience weight gain and an increase in body mass index, a measurement of body fat based on height and weight, according to a new, large-scale study

Carer investigated over washing machine photo posted 'for a laugh'

She said the photo of a boy with Down syndrome in a washing machine was taken just for fun, but no one else was laughing.

Mum's premature labour nightmare after high tea salmonella outbreak

An opulent high tea at a luxury Melbourne hotel has left 44 people with salmonella poisoning - including a pregnant woman, who went into early labour.

The day my son started a fire

Would you know what to do in a fire emergency? How safe is your home and family?

Prince George celebrates second birthday

Prince George's second birthday has been marked by the release of an official picture showing the toddler smiling as he is held by his proud beaming father.

Which beauty treatments are safe in pregnancy?

Is it safe to use fake tan, hair dye and nail varnish during pregnancy?

The five ways I know my 'baby' is no longer a baby

The truth is, I can no longer deny that my walking, babbling, somewhat-independent little miss is no longer a bona fide 'baby'.

Review: Cybex Platinum PRIAM pram

I'm not usually one who believes in love at first sight but that's exactly what happened when I first saw the Cybex PRIAM.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

Why I'm choosing to be a single mother right from the start

I believe that you get out of families what you put into them, and I will give mine my all.

Mother and baby units are a necessity for mental health, not a luxury

I have had two postnatal psychotic episodes. The first when my eldest child was six weeks old, and another after my second child was born.

30 French baby names

French names are always in fashion, but a few have risen in popularity in recent years.

New mum's Spanish maternity nightmare

A British woman who gave birth in Spain has told of her ordeal after spending weeks trying to convince medics the baby girl was hers.

Preparing Rover to be a good dog with baby

Some friends of ours say that it's dangerous to have a dog around a newborn and that we should start looking for a new home for him. Is it?

Company offers to ship working mums' breast milk home

First Apple and Facebook announced they would pay $20,000 towards the cost of their female employees freezing their eggs, now IBM in the US has come up with an innovative new policy aimed at retaining female employees.

Prince William speaks of his pride at wife Kate and 'little joy of heaven' Charlotte

The Duke of Cambridge opened up about family life and his plans for the future in an interview to mark his first day as an air ambulance pilot.

'Glowing' eye saves baby Mason's life

A simple photo taken in front of an evening fire gave new mother Sarah Bowers the power to save her baby's life. 

Parenting and decision overload

Of all the advice people told me before having a baby, no one warned me about the amount of decisions involved.

Proof that toddlers can't be left unsupervised - ever

Parents of toddlers all know the moment when realise your child is being suspiciously quiet. It can only mean one thing - trouble!

Meet Jeremy Ryan, The Voice contestant with seven kids

If you have trouble recalling the ages of Jeremy Ryan's seven children on The Voice, you're not alone. So does he.

Baby's adorable reaction to wearing glasses for the first time

Getting glasses can be a formative moment in a person's life.

Police officer buys supplies for family after mum of six caught shoplifting

When a mum of six was caught shoplifting nappies, clothes and shoes for her kids, the last thing she expected was for a stranger to pay for her haul.

Why pregnant women on antidepressants shouldn’t panic about birth defect claims

The risk of having uncontrolled depression is far greater than the small increased risk of birth defects that may be associated with specific antidepressants.

Arrests made over children's birthday party brawl

Police have raided properties and arrested a number of people over a brawl at a child's birthday party at a play centre in Sydney's west.

Family shares awesome drone baby announcement

Looking for a creative way to share some big news? Look to the skies, like this family did.

Young warrior Owen defies doctors' predictions

Little Owen DiCandilo's name means "young warrior", and it's a description that perfectly fits the inspiring 18-month-old

Advice for dads: when to approach your wife for sex

The exhaustion that comes with caring for young children often means romance between parents becomes a thing of the past.

I might be fat, but I don't need saving

I've been fat for pretty much most of life, besides a few crazy moments of being less-fat, but for the most part I've existed on this earth with a little more meat on my bones than desirable.

The rookie mistakes we make as parents

Since the dawn of civilisation, generation after generation of new parents have had to rely on instinct, trial and error - and sometimes get it wrong.

 

FREE TICKET

See Pinky McKay live in Sydney

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.