Jump to content
nearly 9yo DS aggro behaviour
1 reply to this topic
Posted 03 January 2013 - 08:54 AM
I'm really worried about my DS who will turn 9 years in March. He is very bright and teachers are saying he may fall into the gifted and talented range as he has been in grade 2 but regularly went into the grade 4/5 class as he wasn't challenged elsewhere. Anyway, that is one aspect of him- he has a higher understanding of many concepts most children his age don't grasp etc. yet he plays well with his peers and isn't overly socially mature.. he is into most things that boys his age are: nerf guns, Lego, books (he's reading the Harry Potter series just now but will read Zac Powers, Tashi etc in between)
Just recently, we have seen some worrying behavioural changes: he has become quite aggressive towards us - his brothers and my DH and I. My parents were staying with us over Christmas and he even called them stupid dumb faces and told them to shut up when he was ranting one morning. It was most apparent on Boxing day so I started to think about the food he'd eaten on Christmas day- soft drinks that he usually doesn't have, lots of chocoate etc.. yet since then, he's behaved in similar way some days when there hasn't been anything unusual about his diet. I've been giving him porridge most mornings and tried to steer clear of any processed foods but it doesn't seem to have changed things. He carried on again this morning- "you're a d*ck face mum" "you're such an idiot" this and that is "stupid" You made my toast go cold.. everyone is an idiot.. and so on. Punctuated with loud noises and screeches..He has become extremely defiant too- no, I'm not doing that, going there etc.. you can't make me, no=one is the boss of me,e tc.
I told him last week that I was going to monitor his behaviour and if there wasn't an improvement then we might have to go and see a doctor about him as it can't continue like this. Well, he started sobbing and said he didn't want to see a doctor (he even said that I know you mean a psychologist even tho I hadn't mentioned this) but I just said that we are worried about him and understand that he might not understand himself why he gets so angry and that we weren't cross with him but loved him and wanted to try to sort things out. I also said that we don't expect him to be good all the time (he is always good at school and never have had a bad report of his behaviour anywhere outside the home) as that is impossible and exhausting but I think he does have high expectations of himself and this might be a part of it all..
There is another element: he has a friend whose parents are separated and he lives with his father and two older sisters. anyway, this father invited my son over one day and I wasn't overly thrilled as the boy is into all sorts of games and talks about killing things etc.. but I let him go and found out the next day that the father had let my son (and his own 8yo) watch the Hunger Games movie. I was furious as we are really careful about the kinds of things our children watch and told my husband that there were to be no more plays at their house for a while as I cannot believe that a father would allow that- I've seen that film and it really disturbed me and there is a reason it is rated PG 13+.. beside the point but I am wondering whether this alone could have been a trigger for something with my son.. combination of a rush of hormones in his body, impressionable age, hanging out with this boy playing inappropriate and violent made up games and then seeing this film.
I really feel at my wits end: I am exhausted by this and worried about my son but also how his behaviour is impacting on his two siblings DS 10yo and DS 6yo. They just go quiet when he is ranting and try to keep out of his way. He sometimes hits his younger brother but so far that is the extent of it although he might brush past me in a rough way in passing when he is aggro. My Dh and I think we should try to get an appointment with our GP then see if we can get a referral to a child psychologist to see if there is more to it than just his age..
I'd appreciate any advice from anyone who is experiencing similar or who has been through it with a child. Many thanks x
Posted 03 January 2013 - 02:14 PM
Yes, I have dealt with similar behavior from my daughter -- she has a lot of stuff going on (giftedness, ASD, ADHD). It's hard stuff, isn't it?
There is no reason for you to try to muddle through this by yourself and feel overwhelmed in the process. I think your and your husband's inclination to consult a psychologist is a good one -- not necessarily because there is some underlying condition but rather to get some professional guidance on how to help your son build a better toolkit *and* to give you guys strategies for mitigating his challenging behaviors. When things are impacting family life to the degree you've described, it's time to call in some help.
I look at every assessment and every professional consulted as an opportunity to better understand her complicated wiring. Frankly, we would be lost without the expert advice we've been given by good professionals!
Are you in Melbourne? I might be able to get some good recommendations from my twice exceptional network there (I belong to a group for parents of gifted kids who also have special needs and/or learning differences). Your GP can refer you to a psychologist.
In addition to getting some guidance on managing behaviorals, you might want to also think about getting cognitive testing (IQ) done so that you & his teachers have a better idea of whether/not he is gifted (and if so, to what degree) and learn more about his learning style.
Good luck & good for you for wanting to get a handle on things before they get any worse. I imagien this is not an easy time for your son, either, so I feel for him as well!
Edited by baddmammajamma, 03 January 2013 - 02:15 PM.
1 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users
While managing labour pains on your own can be daunting, there are a number of natural pain relief options to help you cope until you are admitted to hospital.
After six years of trying for a baby, a couple’s dreams have come true many times over after the mum gave birth to quintuplets this week.
A nine-month-old baby boy died on Monday after he was shot in the head by his five-year-old brother in their grandfather's home.
She is my daughter. I gave birth to her. I nurse her. But she doesn't have any of my genes.
Episiotomies have a place in maternity care – and can occasionally save lives – but should not be performed routinely.
The logic was that children who don’t have the language to fully express themselves will lash out when they’re misunderstood. Not anymore.
Everyone in foster care (and really in life) has something that makes them more vulnerable. We just know what our son's is.
Object of desire
Scientists appear to have discovered why women have evolved to have more curves than men – shapely thighs and bottoms lead to healthier babies.
A first-time mum will never get to hold her four newborns, dying shortly after giving birth to the quadruplets.
A New Zealander has tried to name their baby Senior Constable but didn't get away with it - and numbering children is also a no-no.
For most of us, the idea that a woman could carry a child to full-term without knowing she is pregnant is mind-boggling.
Worrying your baby will be delivered by the roadside is a common concern for many mothers-to-be. So how likely are you to be caught short?
Meghan Trainor's song 'Lips Are Moving' was already a hit, but now it's been turned into a hilarious parody that is set to be very popular with frustrated mums everywhere.
Out with the clutter
Forget the 5:2 diet - Twitter's 30-day declutter challenge will have your house back in shape in no time (well, a month).
We need to stop damning parents of today, and embrace their appetite for knowledge instead.
There are chubby Buddha babies and there are thin, smaller babies. Neither are right or wrong, they are all 'normal'.
When one child goes to ‘big school’ and leaves the other behind, it can cause deep upset. Here's how to make the transition easier.
They say dogs are man's best friend, but one cat has proven felines can be just as devoted to their human companions.
A mum of five, Liz Marquez wanted to breastfeed her premmie son for a year. So when she passed away suddenly, her friends - and strangers - stepped in to help.
To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.
Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.
Top 5 Articles
It's an important lesson to learn, but one that busy new mums and dads might overlook until it's too late.
Actress Zooey Deschanel is expecting her first child with her producer boyfriend Jacob Pechenik.
Of course, in some cases they may be the ones who actually got their child into a precarious position in the first place, but we'll ignore that for now.
Knowing you are not the father of your pregnant wife's baby would usually indicate a rocky relationship ahead for traditional parents.
Pip Donnelly is still playing spot the difference with her newborn identical triplets, Isabelle, Georgina and Frankie.
Jenny Alexis is lucky to be alive after spending four days buried in the rubble of the 2010 Haitian earthquake, but now she's a thriving five year old.
On the one hand I was having a regular life with friends and sports and sleepovers and school. But I was also always wondering: Did my mother love me? What was wrong with me?
Kitty, when you’re the parent of my child you’re welcome to wade in with an opinion – but until then, I’d prefer you to have a supportive ear and a glass of wine ready.
A US couple faces charges after investigators say they found mobile phone videos showing the woman's 12-month-old daughter putting a handgun in her mouth.
A 10-year time limit on storing frozen embryos that were created with donor sperm has been dropped by the NSW government.
Sharan Nicholson-Rogers watched her husband change from a happy-go-lucky police officer into an unpredictable man prone to violent and emotional outbursts.
Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes in line with their pregnant partners, a new study shows.
"They were just doing their job. I feel so sorry for them. It is all just too sad."
Women who miscarry will be able to obtain an optional "recognition of loss" certificate as a formal recognition of their often heartbreaking loss.
Teenage parties, domestic disputes, or raucous late night pubs are the things that usually come to mind when you think neighbourhood noise complaints.
Most parents would not consider a snake an appropriate playmate for their baby, but a US dad who filmed his daughter playing with a python has defended himself against criticism.
Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.
To celebrate the release of The Boxtrolls on 3D Blu-ray, DVD & Digital with UltraViolet, we're giving you the chance to win a Boxtroll stationary package and DVD.
School Term 1
Wait lists too long at OSHC? Use www.findababysitter.com.au to meet local nannies now.