Jump to content
Would you feel comfortable...
47 replies to this topic
Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:10 PM
Dh and I are moving from NSW to QLD. It has meant selling our house and purchasing a new one. When we moved back to NSW 12 months ago I wasnt able to come down with Dh when he was looking at houses, so I never actually say the house IRL until settlement. The same has happened this time with the house in QLD, I was almost 39 weeks pregnant when DH had to fly to Brisbane to look at houses again (our original choice that I had seen weeks prior didnt pan out) and we put an offer on one of the houses he saw in that trip, I wont see the house until settlement in a few weeks time.
My question is, would you "trust" or feel comfortable with your DP/DH purchasing a house that you havent seen IRL. I have seen photos, we made a checklist of what I wanted and what was non negotiable for me in a house andf then we talked extensively about each house that he saw, he made notes on them and I made the final call.
I have told a few people this and they think I am bonkers, but Dh did well with the house we bought the first time and I know we are on the same wave length, especially as my main things are animals and now the baby and making sure the house is right for them.
So, do you think its unusual? Or would you be able to do it?
Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:16 PM
I haven't been in this position, but a friend has, and she loves the house her husband brought. Sounds like you've done a lot of the groundwork and doesn't sound like it was an impulse purchase, but well-considered.
Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:16 PM
We did it:) we were living in WA, looking to move back to VIC (home town). I saw the house while visiting family, DP saw it on the Internet. We bought it, and he never stepped inside till the day we moved in. Turned out fine.
Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:16 PM
Absolutely. It looks like you're very familiar with the property before making a final decision, so I'd have no problem if I were in your situation.
Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:17 PM
nope, knowing his taste versus mine etc i have no issue - others i imagine would have trouble if opinions and taste and style differs alot lol
Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:19 PM
I think it's fine of you're happy. I bought my house without DH seeing it.
Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:20 PM
I would - especially if we'd discussed what we needed in a house.
Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:22 PM
Completely normal in our family. Dad bought a house while Mum was overseas in the days before the internet. He did take us to see his shortlist, so he'd had 4/5 of the family opinions.
I imagine it would go the other way for DH and me though - I'd be the one doing the buying.
Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:28 PM
In the situation you've described I'd feel totally comfortable with that - especially given photos, lists etc.
Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:30 PM
My question is, would you "trust" or feel comfortable with your DP/DH purchasing a house that you havent seen IRL. I have seen photos, we made a checklist of what I wanted and what was non negotiable for me in a house andf then we talked extensively about each house that he saw, he made notes on them and I made the final call
In this type of situation I would for sure.
Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:39 PM
I wouldn't, but I am currently living in a house my DH loved, but I was ambivalent about at the time. I now regret not being firmer and finding something better. If your DH has good judgement in houses, then there wouldn't be an issue.
Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:41 PM
My mother just did that with my father and they could not be happier, but they have complete trust in one another's judgement and would not have proceeded with the purchase if they did not have that sort of trust.
If you have your reservations then I would speak up because I would hate for that to be a sore point in your relationship in the future especially if something went sour with that kind of major purchase.
Good luck and I hope you can come to a decision that you are happy with.
Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:45 PM
But my ex? NO!! He rented some HORRENDOUS places while i was at work claiming I would LOVE them.
Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:46 PM
Yes and no.
If it was done in consultation with each other with a list of what was important to both of us then if I absolutely had to then I'd have to but I'm not sure I could say I was comfortable until we'd moved in (and then I'd be stuck with it if it wasn't quite right).
I base my observations on the fact that my husband saw the current rental we are in and I'm really not happy in it. In fact I would go as far as saying that I hate it. In fact I'm not even sure he saw this particular one or whether it was just his friend (who didn't bring his wife) and he said it was fine. We moved hours away from where we lived and it just wasn't feasible for me to come and look too.
There were a couple of other rentals that I'd looked online at that were probably far more suitable and cheaper but he refused to look at them (or rather didn't bother putting in the effort). So we got stuck paying way too much money for a house I absolutely hate. It's dark and the kitchen is awful ie no bench space to actually work on.
So it's hard to even give my husband a list of things to look for. I can't just say that I was a house that has a dishwasher. Because some dishwashers are crap (like the one in the house we are in) and then even if I specified a brand (or two) I'd still have to look at what the inside was like etc (not that I wouldn't buy a house based on this, just using it as an example).
It would work the other way though. I could probably buy a house that my husband would be happy with.
I think some of it has to do with the fact that my husband doesn't actually hear what I'm telling him.
Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:57 PM
Not bought but have done it with rentals with no issues. DH and I are a team and know what's needed and what's a want for the family requirements. Our last place was sight unseen by me anyissues were things DH and I forgot about evenwhen buying our current place like no laundry room and makes me want a huge one with loads of smart storage and makes DH want one we can shut the door on and be separate to the main toilet/bathroom entry but otherwise no problems.
Posted 02 January 2013 - 04:00 PM
My husband purchased the house I'd been drooling over before I even met him
So yes, I'd trust my husband to make the decision without any input from me. The only time he has ever failed to pick out exactly what I want was with the cars. Given free reign he picks a lemon nearly every time. The most recent car he shut up and listened to me and got a decent car.
Posted 02 January 2013 - 04:06 PM
Never! Im a complete 'home' control freak
Though to be honest I wouldnt buy a house before I had lived in the area for 6 months either.
Edited by Banana Pancakes, 02 January 2013 - 04:06 PM.
Posted 02 January 2013 - 04:09 PM
I would trust my partner to choose a house that is suitable for both of us as we have the same tastes in a house and choose this one together. But I like to have my say and would prefer to choose with him. If you like the current house he choose and were happy about that decision I'd say you can be sure that he would make a good decision again.
You've seen the photos, tick, made a checklist of what you wanted don't want, tick. I see no reason not to trust his decision. But I can see why you question it, because you haven't actually stepped foot in the house. I guess it will be a fun surprise!
Posted 02 January 2013 - 04:16 PM
I rented this house without DP having seen it. It's worked out really well. If things were the other way around - not sure. He's bought cars and major appliances without me seeing them. If you've got similar taste and you trust his judgement on getting the vibe right, then it should be OK.
0 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users
Q: My mother and I have always been close, but now that I have a baby, she has not helped out as much as I thought she would.
The mother-of-two was diagnosed with hyper-lactation.
Breast is best, but mums who can't, or choose not to breastfeed need support too.
The aim is to increase breastfeeding rates and reduce stigma.
Men and women both experience work-family conflict.
Most parents are experiencing substantial difficulties with the financial burden and lack of availability of childcare, as costs have more than doubled for some families in just over a decade.
It starts before conception.
Study found babies can recognise foreign languages before birth.
Aren't babycinos just a bit of froth? Not so, it seems...
"Hey, come here a second," my mum said as she replaced the book in my hands with a wooden spoon covered in what I prayed was red sauce. Together, we walked into the kitchen and hovered over the skillet like we were peering into a crystal ball. Looking into my future, I saw me eating a lot of take away.
Top 5 Articles
From our network
As the 2017 flu season begins in earnest, here?s what you need to know to protect yourself and baby.
Money might be funny in a rich man's world (or so ABBA told us), but for the rest of us it's a major consideration – particularly before having a baby.
Maternity leave is a special time for you, your partner and your new little bundle. The last thing you want is for financial worries to stand in the way of that joy.
Becoming a parent is full of surprises – not least of all finding out that, for such small beings, babies cause a lot of chaos and expense.
Here are some ideas for getting that budget in shape, ready for being a one income family.
See what names are trending this year.