Jump to content
Would you feel comfortable...
47 replies to this topic
Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:10 PM
Dh and I are moving from NSW to QLD. It has meant selling our house and purchasing a new one. When we moved back to NSW 12 months ago I wasnt able to come down with Dh when he was looking at houses, so I never actually say the house IRL until settlement. The same has happened this time with the house in QLD, I was almost 39 weeks pregnant when DH had to fly to Brisbane to look at houses again (our original choice that I had seen weeks prior didnt pan out) and we put an offer on one of the houses he saw in that trip, I wont see the house until settlement in a few weeks time.
My question is, would you "trust" or feel comfortable with your DP/DH purchasing a house that you havent seen IRL. I have seen photos, we made a checklist of what I wanted and what was non negotiable for me in a house andf then we talked extensively about each house that he saw, he made notes on them and I made the final call.
I have told a few people this and they think I am bonkers, but Dh did well with the house we bought the first time and I know we are on the same wave length, especially as my main things are animals and now the baby and making sure the house is right for them.
So, do you think its unusual? Or would you be able to do it?
Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:16 PM
I haven't been in this position, but a friend has, and she loves the house her husband brought. Sounds like you've done a lot of the groundwork and doesn't sound like it was an impulse purchase, but well-considered.
Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:16 PM
We did it:) we were living in WA, looking to move back to VIC (home town). I saw the house while visiting family, DP saw it on the Internet. We bought it, and he never stepped inside till the day we moved in. Turned out fine.
Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:16 PM
Absolutely. It looks like you're very familiar with the property before making a final decision, so I'd have no problem if I were in your situation.
Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:17 PM
nope, knowing his taste versus mine etc i have no issue - others i imagine would have trouble if opinions and taste and style differs alot lol
Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:19 PM
I think it's fine of you're happy. I bought my house without DH seeing it.
Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:20 PM
I would - especially if we'd discussed what we needed in a house.
Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:22 PM
Completely normal in our family. Dad bought a house while Mum was overseas in the days before the internet. He did take us to see his shortlist, so he'd had 4/5 of the family opinions.
I imagine it would go the other way for DH and me though - I'd be the one doing the buying.
Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:28 PM
In the situation you've described I'd feel totally comfortable with that - especially given photos, lists etc.
Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:30 PM
My question is, would you "trust" or feel comfortable with your DP/DH purchasing a house that you havent seen IRL. I have seen photos, we made a checklist of what I wanted and what was non negotiable for me in a house andf then we talked extensively about each house that he saw, he made notes on them and I made the final call
In this type of situation I would for sure.
Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:39 PM
I wouldn't, but I am currently living in a house my DH loved, but I was ambivalent about at the time. I now regret not being firmer and finding something better. If your DH has good judgement in houses, then there wouldn't be an issue.
Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:41 PM
My mother just did that with my father and they could not be happier, but they have complete trust in one another's judgement and would not have proceeded with the purchase if they did not have that sort of trust.
If you have your reservations then I would speak up because I would hate for that to be a sore point in your relationship in the future especially if something went sour with that kind of major purchase.
Good luck and I hope you can come to a decision that you are happy with.
Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:45 PM
But my ex? NO!! He rented some HORRENDOUS places while i was at work claiming I would LOVE them.
Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:46 PM
Yes and no.
If it was done in consultation with each other with a list of what was important to both of us then if I absolutely had to then I'd have to but I'm not sure I could say I was comfortable until we'd moved in (and then I'd be stuck with it if it wasn't quite right).
I base my observations on the fact that my husband saw the current rental we are in and I'm really not happy in it. In fact I would go as far as saying that I hate it. In fact I'm not even sure he saw this particular one or whether it was just his friend (who didn't bring his wife) and he said it was fine. We moved hours away from where we lived and it just wasn't feasible for me to come and look too.
There were a couple of other rentals that I'd looked online at that were probably far more suitable and cheaper but he refused to look at them (or rather didn't bother putting in the effort). So we got stuck paying way too much money for a house I absolutely hate. It's dark and the kitchen is awful ie no bench space to actually work on.
So it's hard to even give my husband a list of things to look for. I can't just say that I was a house that has a dishwasher. Because some dishwashers are crap (like the one in the house we are in) and then even if I specified a brand (or two) I'd still have to look at what the inside was like etc (not that I wouldn't buy a house based on this, just using it as an example).
It would work the other way though. I could probably buy a house that my husband would be happy with.
I think some of it has to do with the fact that my husband doesn't actually hear what I'm telling him.
Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:57 PM
Not bought but have done it with rentals with no issues. DH and I are a team and know what's needed and what's a want for the family requirements. Our last place was sight unseen by me anyissues were things DH and I forgot about evenwhen buying our current place like no laundry room and makes me want a huge one with loads of smart storage and makes DH want one we can shut the door on and be separate to the main toilet/bathroom entry but otherwise no problems.
Posted 02 January 2013 - 04:00 PM
My husband purchased the house I'd been drooling over before I even met him
So yes, I'd trust my husband to make the decision without any input from me. The only time he has ever failed to pick out exactly what I want was with the cars. Given free reign he picks a lemon nearly every time. The most recent car he shut up and listened to me and got a decent car.
Posted 02 January 2013 - 04:06 PM
Never! Im a complete 'home' control freak
Though to be honest I wouldnt buy a house before I had lived in the area for 6 months either.
Edited by Banana Pancakes, 02 January 2013 - 04:06 PM.
Posted 02 January 2013 - 04:09 PM
I would trust my partner to choose a house that is suitable for both of us as we have the same tastes in a house and choose this one together. But I like to have my say and would prefer to choose with him. If you like the current house he choose and were happy about that decision I'd say you can be sure that he would make a good decision again.
You've seen the photos, tick, made a checklist of what you wanted don't want, tick. I see no reason not to trust his decision. But I can see why you question it, because you haven't actually stepped foot in the house. I guess it will be a fun surprise!
Posted 02 January 2013 - 04:16 PM
I rented this house without DP having seen it. It's worked out really well. If things were the other way around - not sure. He's bought cars and major appliances without me seeing them. If you've got similar taste and you trust his judgement on getting the vibe right, then it should be OK.
1 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users
Two-year-old Quincy finished his potty training last week, and as part of his reward he was able to meet his idols.
I will never deny the fact that grief has a place when you give birth to a child who brings a set of circumstances very different to what you imagined. Because for nine months, I thought I knew my Georgie.
There was nothing Erica and Carlos wanted more than a baby.
The actor said there was "no other person" he was thinking about when he chose the name.
More than half of women who live with abusive partners experience violence during pregnancy.
A new mother was told she must flee Port Vila hospital with her baby as Cyclone Pam bore down.
There were a few signs I'm never going back to the land of maternity jeans, breast pumps and bassinets.
Australian actress Marta Dusseldorp has revealed she was forced to withdraw from a Sydney Theatre Company production because a director did not approve of her breast feeding.
Looking for a name that's a little bit different for a girl? Turn to names that have been traditionally used for males, as these celebs (or their parents) did.
Greg Hughes is "an absolute shell of a man" as he and his wife Catherine struggle to come to terms with the loss of their newborn son Riley to whooping cough.
Introverts are often misunderstood as shy, and sometimes even rude. A timid child can be difficult to build rapport with, but it's important we nurture their sensitive natures.
Sheryl Sandberg's advice
Forget foreplay. The new and improved route to intercourse is "choreplay" - it's good for your spouse, good for your house, and comes with the imprimatur of feminist du jour Sheryl Sandberg.
The first time your child learns a new skill at playtime is very exciting - for both you and your baby! Play is important to your child's development for a variety of reasons - here are some simple ideas for you to try at home.
For me, being the best mother I can be means being a mum alone, at least for now. Thinking of my friends with inadequate partners, I wonder why more people don’t choose single motherhood.
Weird poses, surprise photobombs, bizarre editing: these are the wedding photos that should have never seen the light of day.
The mother of a four-week-old Perth baby who died after contracting whooping cough says her family has been left devastated by the loss of her "gorgeous, sweet" son.
To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, we are giving away five DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!
Little Peyton Williams thought she was getting a baby sister named Charlee. But the two-year-old has had to settle for a doll dressed in pink after her baby "sister" turned out to be a boy.
We all know that having a strong immune system is the best way to stay healthy – but what can we do to help it along?
A Melbourne mum who died after the home birth of her baby pleaded with her husband to call an ambulance because she felt she was going to die, the Victorian Coroners Court has heard.
Q: My two-month-old baby doesn't like me. He's perfectly content with my wife, but when I try to hold him, he gets upset and cries. I've backed off a little, thinking that he just needs a little time to get used to me, but that doesn't seem to be working. I'm starting to think I'm just not a very good dad. Is it too late for me to build a relationship with my baby?
Wouldn’t it be great to get some nice feedback every now and then? After all, everyone likes to hear positive praise, particularly when it comes to parenting.
The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!
If you're looking to revive an older name, or don’t want anything near the top 1000 list, check out these rare monikers for your unique baby.
It’s great to see a generation of dads who are more actively involved with caring, nurturing and loving their kids.
When there’s no question that milk banks are important, why don’t we have more of them in Australia?
Television personality Carrie Bickmore has given birth to her second child.
Top 5 Articles
Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.
A Norwegian man is facing jail after putting abortion pills in his ex-girlfriend's smoothie, causing her to have a miscarriage.
Jordy Jackson was born without eyes. He has anophthalmia, which affects one in every 100,000 babies born.
Model Sarah Stage has defended her pregnancy body after critics claimed her slim figure at eight-and-a-half months pregnant wasn't "normal".
To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, Essential Baby and Entertainment One are giving away five bumper DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!
I love to take pictures of my children. In some of the pictures, my younger son is nursing.
There are things I wish I didn't know. I wish I didn't know that companies make tiny braces, small enough to hold necks no bigger than a wrist.
When a couple discovers they're expecting multiples, the dad can sometimes be almost forgotten in all the excitement and preparation. But one group offers a space just for dads of twins and higher-order multiples.
A brave mum of two has shared details of the harrowing attacks she suffered at the hands of her partner in a bid to help other victims of domestic violence.
Early last year I turned 35, and having just found out I was pregnant, I opted to have the new test for Down syndrome.
If your family is more into Star Wars, gaming and the periodic table than most, you might want to check out these geek-chic baby items.
According to the Chinese zodiac, babies born in the year of the sheep are creative and enjoy spending quiet time with their own thoughts.
Pregnant women will for the first time have access to locally analysed, accurate, non-invasive pre-natal genetic testing when the first Australian clinic to offer the services opens its doors next week.
Not a day under 65 and a lifetime of struggle! That's the look of these newborns, who look adorably older than their real age. Social networking site Reddit recently featured user submissions of adorable grandbabies, here are our favourites.
An entire family was kicked off a Cathay Pacific flight when a misbehaving toddler refused to put his seatbelt on.
A baby stolen from her mother's arms shortly after birth has been found through an astonishing coincidence.
Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.
Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.
A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.
Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.
Sign up now!
Receive a daily email from Essential Baby during April with great play tips and ideas, then submit your baby at play photos to our Playwall, Instagram or Twitter for your chance to win.