Jump to content

Things you are glad you did before you started a family


  • Please log in to reply
63 replies to this topic

#1 Cirrus

Posted 02 January 2013 - 02:41 PM


Hi Everyone,
Hoping you're willing to share some reflections to shape my new years resolutions for what might be the last year before we start a family.
When you look back at the few years before you started a family, maybe you're glad now that you took the time to travel or save money or just party, instead of doing other things. With the perspective you have now, what are you glad about having done in those child-free years (or wish you had done!) and why?
Happy NY!

#2 IsolaBella

Posted 02 January 2013 - 02:45 PM

Travel, go to the movies.
Save Money.

#3 wizzbef

Posted 02 January 2013 - 02:46 PM

Pay off debt

#4 Lucrezia Borgia

Posted 02 January 2013 - 02:47 PM

Travelled with my DH....America, England, France, Italy, Ireland, Skiing in Switzerland, Tahiti.....we could eat out, visit museums, galleries, walk around and take in the sights without having to worry about whether the kids are getting bored/tired/hungry/whingey for no reason....we travel now with kids, but we tend to go to beaches, resort with pools and amusement parks, so a different vibe all together ...

I'm glad I got my law degree pre kids and worked for ten years or so so I could establish my career....I can't study with young children and getting my foot in the door meant I could negotiate good maternity leave arrangements and good return to work arrangements

I'm glad we bought our house pre kids.

Edited by Lucretia Borgia, 02 January 2013 - 02:54 PM.


#5 SplashingRainbows

Posted 02 January 2013 - 02:49 PM

Complete all my professional qualifications
Purchase our home
Build up our savings


Whilst I am glad I have done some travel I feel more secure with day to day housing and savings. If all goes to plan we will travel with children when they are older, and after they leave home. We are holidaying at the moment and there are so many wonderful things we have at home that I miss. I am so grateful for the things we do have to make our lives at home easier.

#6 IVL

Posted 02 January 2013 - 02:53 PM

Travel and work/study hard. Also pay as much of our house as possible. I would hate to be juggling new parent hood with study comittments or financial stress. We are thankfully in position where we have been able to negotiate fleixable and favourable working conditions because of our ealrier loyality and aquired knowledge in our professions.

#7 (feral)epg

Posted 02 January 2013 - 02:54 PM

I should absolutely NOT be reading a thread like this when due in 5 weeks!
I'm glad I
- held out long enough to meet the right partner!
- found an interesting and financially rewarding career - and proved that I am more than capable of supporting myself financially (makes me a little more comfortable about choosing to be a SAHM for at least the next 6 months)
- did the crazy youth stuff - all night raves, backpacking with little to no money, drinking far too much - I've done it and I'm over it and won't regret not being able to do it again.
- was in really good shape physically before getting pregnant - means I trust my body to be able to get rid of the baby weight and get back to something approaching normal again.
- developed good relationships with family and friends because I know I'll need their support in the coming years.



#8 noi'mnot

Posted 02 January 2013 - 02:56 PM

Running away on holidays, overseas and local, at the drop of a hat (doing anything at the drop of a hat, really...).

Finishing the gazillion years of uni study that I did (can you tell from my grammar how qualified I am?).

Spending lots of lovely time with my partner - lazy days in bed, evenings walking on the beach, weekends away, snuggling on the couch, etc.

We bought a house before having kids but that's not such a big issue for me. The others are much more important.

#9 elle-M

Posted 02 January 2013 - 02:56 PM

Definitely glad my DH and I owned our own home (with a mortgage of course) before we had kids. We stretched ourselves financially to sell our two and upgrade to a bigger house and if we hadn't done it then, we could never have done it. We find ways to make it work on only one income, and it's really important to me that I teach our children financial responsiblity and independence.

Also I'm glad my DH and I had a good education and went to uni, however you can still study with kids (we're both doing our Masters at the moment so it's possible... but challenging!).

The rest pales in comparison to how wonderful it is to have children wub.gif Good luck, it's such an exciting time you have ahead!

Edited by elle-M, 02 January 2013 - 02:57 PM.


#10 Banana Pancakes

Posted 02 January 2013 - 02:59 PM

But I am grateful that I owned a car outright, had some qualifications, a steady job and I had no debt.

Edited by Banana Pancakes, 15 June 2014 - 02:27 PM.


#11 IsolaBella

Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:02 PM

Should add had finished studying, firmly in our careers, purchased our house too.

We have also gone travelling os since kids, but it is different.... 90 mins at the louvre rather then 8 hrs wink.gif

#12 amabanana

Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:05 PM

I'm glad we bought a house, got married and traveled the world.   We are starting to travel more again but it's so different doing it with kids.  And more expensive!  2-4 times the airfares/accommodation/food/entry fees etc and no staying in dodgy backpackers in the red light district.  wink.gif


#13 SophieBear

Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:06 PM

I'm glad I found the right guy to have children with.

I'm glad I travelled, bought a house and I'm glad I enjoyed childless married life for a while. I'm also glad I trained my dog well enough for children and established her house rules before little feet arrive.

I wish I had studied/established a career but I wish I had done that before buying a house and having to commit to a mortgage anyway.

#14 Elizabethandfriend

Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:06 PM

I'm glad we managed to travel a little (including Europe which is hard to do with kids) and had bought our own home.   I'm also glad we had a fair few years to cement our relationship before kids came along.

#15 Cirrus

Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:10 PM

QUOTE (lsolaBella @ 02/01/2013, 04:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
We have also gone travelling os since kids, but it is different.... 90 mins at the louvre rather then 8 hrs wink.gif



Arg! OK that's the scariest notion so far besides the prospect of juggling financial stress with new motherhood mentioned in a few replies. Which are sort of contradictory in terms of do I blow savings on travel or tuck as much as possible away...

All these replies are really interesting and much more useful that the nebulous advice from older generation not to rush into having babies. Thank you



#16 Natttmumm

Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:12 PM

Spent 8 weeks in Europe, bought a house, established my career.

#17 bambiigrrl

Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:13 PM

if i were you i would enjoy alone time with your husband, as its hard to come by once you have kids! Thats something my dh and i miss, being able to do stuff together on the spur of the moment, like fishing, camping, parties etc, plus just laying in bed all day making love on a sunday...thats something we often fantasise about which will probaly never happen again lol!

I am glad i didnt have kids too young and got all my partying out of my system and was ready to settle down.

#18 ms flib

Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:27 PM

I wish I'd done more before I had kids but I'm also glad I had them when I did!

Whenever you do it there will not be time to do the things you used to do!!

I would - go to the movies, sleep in, read the paper, go out to dinner, have friends over. Enjoy for now walking out of the house without a baby sitter, a nappy bag, a sipper cup, a school bag, a swimming bag etc etc. Talk to each other!!!!



#19 Jekaho

Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:32 PM

So glad we travelled (even if some of it was because of work - we worked together). Although we've still been able to travel a fair bit with bub, it's different. Not as leisurely.

We weren't in a position to (and still aren't) but if we could have, I'd like to have bought a house, so that we have a decent yard.

#20 livvie7586

Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:36 PM

QUOTE (ms flib @ 02/01/2013, 04:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I wish I'd done more before I had kids but I'm also glad I had them when I did!

Whenever you do it there will not be time to do the things you used to do!!

I would - go to the movies, sleep in, read the paper, go out to dinner, have friends over. Enjoy for now walking out of the house without a baby sitter, a nappy bag, a sipper cup, a school bag, a swimming bag etc etc. Talk to each other!!!!


All this OP.  I was 19 when i fell pregnant with DS1, so the only thing i really got to do before having him was finish high school (DH and i had been together 2.5 years when i fell pregnant, so i was very happy it hadn't happened a year or so earlier), but the things i missed (or miss, i've had a bit of freedom the last year or so, but with DS2 due in 12 weeks things will be changing again) were the basic enjoying life things (not that you don't enjoy life with kids, it just changes)

#21 liveworkplay

Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:37 PM

Lived overseas and also backpacked around the world. I know a lot of people say they will travel after kids but it's not the same. I am looking forward to traveling extensively again when the kids move out but I will never travel the same, do the same things and take the same risks now. Also this was pre sept 11, so travel is just not the same nowdays.

#22 Beancat

Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:37 PM

Found the right partner (got divorved from the man I thought I would have kids with and met the love of my life)

Ran my own business

Went to uni

Got a good job/career and achieved within it

Bought and sold several houses

Partying

Good expensive holidays in Australia

Biggest regret - not travelling OS

#23 baddmammajamma

Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:38 PM

I met my husband at 35 and had my first baby at 37 -- would have loved to have done both earlier -- but looking back, there were some benefits.

I'm actually glad that I had time to:

* Date a bunch of unworthy guys before settling down with one who was a keeper -- I think the experiences helped me realize what qualities were truly "must haves" and which were not

* Finish my education and establish my career (and build enduring professional network and skills). It's a lot easier to do both when you only have yourself to focus on!

* Establish good financial habits (though these came later in the game for me -- I credit my husband with helping me in this department) and have good savings

* Travel, travel, travel -- both when I was single and when I was first married

* Run my first, last & only marathon -- my body is shot now, and I doubt I could do it again. In the same vein, I'm glad I did a lot of scuba diving and daring stuff -- I am much more risk averse now that I am a mother!

* Build a diverse friendship network, including people who don't have kids themselves. Once I started having kids, I found it more challenging to bust out of the mommy circles (as nice as my fellow moms/mums are)

#24 gemgirl

Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:45 PM

Was with the right partner. Two previous partners wanted kids and I am so pleased i said no.

Studied and completed every degree I ever wanted

Became financially secure and in a point in my career where I am well respected, so time off hasn't been an issue

Own our own home (well, mortgaged)

Travelled alone in my 20s and together as a couple

Lots of movies and parties sitting chatting til 4am

Read lots of books

I am thrilled I did all these things and feel very set up now. But I am in my late 30s and had fertility issues. Pregnancy hasn't been easy. In contrast I know people in Givernment housing, pregnant and happy in their 20s. Handling pregnancy much easier than me and had no need for IVF. You do what you do. I was happy to not have kids, til I was in a really happy relationship. Others desperately want kids, regardless

Edited by gemgirl, 02 January 2013 - 03:46 PM.


#25 IsolaBella

Posted 02 January 2013 - 03:46 PM

QUOTE (Cirrus @ 02/01/2013, 04:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Arg! OK that's the scariest notion so far besides the prospect of juggling financial stress with new motherhood mentioned in a few replies. Which are sort of contradictory in terms of do I blow savings on travel or tuck as much as possible away...

All these replies are really interesting and much more useful that the nebulous advice from older generation not to rush into having babies. Thank you



90 mins was with nearly 2yo, 4 yo and 6 yo plus MIL who had painful gout in her feet. DH and I had done Paris previously, so I had already spent days in the Louvre pre kids. It is just a different type if travel.

DH and I did 10 days in Paris in 1999, very different to 10 days with the troupe outlines above.... But enjoyable still. I love how my kids a year on can see the Eiffel Tower or Monarch Lisa and connect it to their Paris trip..




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

Finding baby name inspiration in unusual places

Sometimes the greatest baby name ideas come from the most unexpected places, as these EB members show.

The case for inducing at 37 weeks

While we often think of pregnancy as a 40 week affair, experts agree that 37 weeks is actually “full term". So is there an argument for inducing all births at 37 weeks?

Does controlled crying really work?

Controlled-crying techniques may help some babies sleep through the night, but for many exhausted new parents, it's just a recipe for more tears all round.

How I taught my infant to use a toilet

As people become more aware of these benefits, I hope more parents will practice this method, so we can cut down on nappies and improve baby bonding.

'I thought it was impossible': Emily Symons pregnant at 45

Aussie actress Emily Symons has announced she is pregnant with her first baby.

Shallow water blackout kills fit, healthy dad

A little girl will grow up without her father after the fit and healthy 34-year-old passed away while doing something he had practised his whole life.

Afternoon naps may be bad for toddlers' sleep

You could be doing yourself a disservice by encouraging your toddler to have an afternoon nap, according to new research.

Best gifts for newborns, new mums and christenings

We've compiled a guide to some of the most popular presents for newborns and new mums, and for christenings and naming days.

Jaime King to be a mum again

Actress Jaime King is pregnant with her second child, giving 16-month-old James a sibling.

Nannies should receive government funding

The Abbott government should extend funding to nannies, and direct childcare payments to low and middle income families, a landmark study on childcare has found. 

Common skin irritations in newborns (and how to treat them)

As many as one in two newborn babies suffer from skin irritations in their first few weeks. So what are the most common rashes and irritations to look out for?

10 wall decals for the nursery or playroom

Wall decals are the answer to creating a beautiful nursery or children's space without lifting a paint brush, a spirit level or even a hammer.

Preschooler walks 2.4km home alone

Three-year-old Cain Trainor headed off home after his first day at a new preschool without telling anyone.

Video: Why mums get nothing done

In spite of being in an almost constant state of motion while looking after the kids and trying to keep things together at home, it can seem as though parents have managed to get nothing on the to-do list done by the end of the day.

The middle name game

The middle name is no longer an afterthought, and parents' inspiration comes from many places.

Have a baby or your money back - but there's a catch

A new IVF scheme offers couples the chance to fall pregnant and give birth - or get their money back. But there's more to it than you might think.

A rare glimpse inside the womb

A baby born still inside the amniotic sac gave US doctors a rare glimpse at life inside the womb.

Battered mum forced to write to her attacker ex in jail

Three years ago Jason Hughes viciously attacked his ex-partner. Now she has to write to him three times a year.

Woman pleads not guilty to ultrasound scam

A West Australian woman will fight allegations that she scammed expectant mums by selling them fake ultrasound pictures of babies.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Brain damaged mum receives compensation

A Sydney mother who suffered brain damage when she was hit by a car while pushing her newborn baby in a pram has reached a confidential out-of-court settlement with the driver's insurance company.

Indigenous midwives break down the barriers

A culturally sensitive midwifery service has gained the trust and respect of Aboriginal women.

The Katering Show's next big delivery

Most mums-to-be plan to take things easy and perhaps have a little break from work as the birth of their baby draws near. Not Kate McCartney.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

Why I have mixed feelings about Cindy Crawford's leaked photo

Last week an un-retouched photo of model Cindy Crawford surfaced, showing the 48-year-old mother-of -two posing in underwear.

How to create a Peppa Pig pancake

Thought your toddler could not love pancakes any more than they already do? How about if the breakfast treat came in the shape of every two-year-old's favourite cartoon character?

'It's a little life, not a little loss': pregnancy after miscarriage

I thought I was never going to be able to have a successful pregnancy. I decided that I wasn't going to form an emotional attachment with this baby.

Bonds Baby Search 2015: what you need to know

February 18 marks the start of one of the most prolific annual baby competitions in Australia: the Bonds Baby Search. And this year is going to be more special than ever.

Who will manage your Facebook account when you're gone?

This is not something that people like to talk about, but Facebook has announced that it will grant users more control over what happens to their pages after they die.

Struggling mum of four wins $188 million

Mother of four Marie Holmes was financially struggling after quitting her jobs at Walmart and McDonald's in order to care for her children.

Pregnant obese women a 'relatively new problem', coroner hears

A first-time mother whose daughter died hours after her frightening birth insists she was never told of the risks of being obese and pregnant.

'I'm angry as hell': the story behind mum's passionate vaccination plea

She has labelled parents who do not vaccinate their children "misinformed imbeciles" - and for that, she makes no apologies.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

8 different kinds of tantrums

I never thought I’d say this, but for a brief moment last week, Kim Kardashian and I had something in common: both our kids had public tantrums.

Polycystic ovary syndrome: symptoms, treatment and your fertility

Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is the most common female hormonal condition, affecting roughly one in 12 Australian women.

What's the best position for giving birth?

If doing it on your back is out, what's the best position for labour and birth?

Wife forgives snake catcher husband for car surprise

With Valentine's Day coming up, Nat Gilbert could be forgiven for thinking her husband might be planning a surprise for her.

Kids who meet milestones at their own pace

We usually only hear the success stories: tales of the two-year-old who’s talking, running and completely toilet trained. But other stories need to be told too.

Ruby shines as Bonds Baby

Sarah Kiss has a word of advice for proud mums and dads who are keen to enter their babies in this year's Bonds Baby Search Competition - just have fun.

Why dads should go to sleep school

If your family needs to go to sleep school, go with them. You are part of that family and you are part of the solution.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Win a KitchenAid Mixer

Let's celebrate 300,000 fans on Facebook

To celebrate, and to thank our amazing fans, we?re giving away a KitchenAid Artisan Tilt-Head Stand Mixer.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.