Jump to content

Caring for the Carers
What can we offer


  • Please log in to reply
10 replies to this topic

#1 Lightning_bug

Posted 02 January 2013 - 01:01 AM

My mum's best friend's daughter, who I've known since I was 14 but am not particularly close to, is having an incredibly tough time.  Her daughter is sick and without a diagnosis they're spending a lot of time in hospital.  They're stressed and exhausted and doing a fantastic job of providing care and love for their little girl but by the sounds of things they're ignoring their own self-care.

It's not my place to step in and tell them they need to take a break and lean on others for help but I want to do something because it's absolutely breaking my heart.

I'm thinking of making them up a 'ready-to-go' parents waiting room bag and I'm in the process of deciding what to put in it.  The idea is that it will be a bag with things to keep them occupied and to give them a break from their worries.

So far I'm thinking it should contain:
Lollies;
notepad and pen;
mints;
magazines (I'm thinking of buying them a subscription to their favourite mag);
an address book
an adult colouring book and pencils
puzzles/sudoko book
water bottle
muesli bars
A help-line kit with numbers of help they can contact...

What do you think?  Is it a silly idea?  If no, is there anything I'm missing?
Is there something better we could do (bearing in mind we live an hour away)?


#2 lylac

Posted 02 January 2013 - 02:10 AM

I think that sounds like a lovely idea.

In my experience long stays in hospital can be financially crippling, food and parking prices can be horrendous. If you know which hospital they frequent, I would check out the parking situation and perhaps buy them a Parking card. The major hospital in my area has a 5 exits for $85 card.

#3 Lightning_bug

Posted 02 January 2013 - 07:47 AM

Thanks Lylac, that's a good idea. biggrin.gif



#4 epl0822

Posted 02 January 2013 - 07:58 AM

Great idea. Maybe you can also include a bag with gold coins for parking if the hospital doesn't do parking vouchers. I know this is cheesy but maybe a voucher book with favours too? Like getting groceries, cooked dinner, etc. In my experience people tend not to take up on vague and generalised offers of "call me if you need anything."

#5 OneMore?

Posted 02 January 2013 - 07:59 AM

They may already get discounted parking ? Can you ask the parents as a great idea.

Also is there a coffee shop...can you buy a 5 or 10 coffee card - coffe is your friend when stressed and sleep deprived.

Can you cook a few meals and drop them off ? I know you live an hour away, home cooked meals are great.

My daughter spend a lot of time in hospital in her early days (undiagnosed) do you know what was the nicest thing - the friends that came and sat with me some nights and just let me talk, vent, cry. The ones that also bought dinner and a bottle of wine were pretty good too.

I think your idea is lovely. I was so tired and yes looking after me was last priority. I would look towards some healthy snacks too, and some chocolate original.gif

#6 KT1978

Posted 02 January 2013 - 08:07 AM

When dp was in hospital, I appreciated offers of a home cooked dinner (even if I couldn't stay because I had to get back to the hospital), my mum came and cleaned and I got fresh sheets, dad mowed.

#7 B.feral3

Posted 02 January 2013 - 08:09 AM

It sounds like a great idea OP.

I've had 2 kids with long hospital stays and 700k's away from home. The most crippling expense is food. DH and I were spending about $80 a day on food on average. Perhaps a gift voucher for the hospital cafe or restaurant/fast food near by? Maybe some snacks in the bag too like nuts or dried fruit?

Be careful with the parking. Families that have long hospital stays can get subsidised parking vouchers though the hospital social worker.  We were paying $8 a day to park instead of $26.

Edited by Bek+3, 02 January 2013 - 08:10 AM.


#8 baddmammajamma

Posted 02 January 2013 - 08:17 AM

What a lovely person you are!

I echo the suggestion of homecooked meals/meal vouchers and/or an array of snacks (including some healthy ones) for the long days at the hospital.

#9 NinjaMum

Posted 02 January 2013 - 08:45 AM

That sounds lovely OP original.gif

I have no further suggestions for the gift bag, you've got some wonderful things in there! I agree with PPs with food and parking being the two most expensive things. I find that when there's health issues, the first thing to go is all the home related stuff: eg. clothes washing, house cleaning, etc. I also found the home cooked meals a life-saver (especially ones that I could just pull out of the freezer when I got home).

Given you're an hour away, perhaps it would be worth making contact with a local community group (a church if they're involved in one maybe? or even the school when it goes back) to help with someone to pop in and do a quick house clean and toss a load of washing in once a week/fortnight?

#10 Lightning_bug

Posted 02 January 2013 - 09:48 AM

QUOTE (NinjaMum @ 02/01/2013, 08:45 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Given you're an hour away, perhaps it would be worth making contact with a local community group (a church if they're involved in one maybe? or even the school when it goes back) to help with someone to pop in and do a quick house clean and toss a load of washing in once a week/fortnight?


I think this is a lovely idea but do you think it would be a bit invasive a gift/suggestion from someone who isn't that close to the persons involved?

I don't want to cross from being nice into being pushy and overly helpful.

#11 amabanana

Posted 02 January 2013 - 11:27 AM

What a lovely and thoughtful thing to do.

Some things that we found useful/nice were:
nice soft tissues
healthy snacks that don't need refrigeration
fruit like bananas and apples that don't take preperation and keep well
gold coins for coffee/vending machine/parking or whatever
memory stick with TV shows or movies on it if they have a laptop with them
magazines
bottles of water/juice poppers
nice chocolates
single serve cereal packs and UHT milk if they stay overnight
nice hand lotion - washing your hands frequently dries them out






1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

Finding baby name inspiration in unusual places

Sometimes the greatest baby name ideas come from the most unexpected places, as these EB members show.

The case for inducing at 37 weeks

While we often think of pregnancy as a 40 week affair, experts agree that 37 weeks is actually “full term". So is there an argument for inducing all births at 37 weeks?

Does controlled crying really work?

Controlled-crying techniques may help some babies sleep through the night, but for many exhausted new parents, it's just a recipe for more tears all round.

How I taught my infant to use a toilet

As people become more aware of these benefits, I hope more parents will practice this method, so we can cut down on nappies and improve baby bonding.

'I thought it was impossible': Emily Symons pregnant at 45

Aussie actress Emily Symons has announced she is pregnant with her first baby.

Shallow water blackout kills fit, healthy dad

A little girl will grow up without her father after the fit and healthy 34-year-old passed away while doing something he had practised his whole life.

Afternoon naps may be bad for toddlers' sleep

You could be doing yourself a disservice by encouraging your toddler to have an afternoon nap, according to new research.

Best gifts for newborns, new mums and christenings

We've compiled a guide to some of the most popular presents for newborns and new mums, and for christenings and naming days.

Jaime King to be a mum again

Actress Jaime King is pregnant with her second child, giving 16-month-old James a sibling.

Nannies should receive government funding

The Abbott government should extend funding to nannies, and direct childcare payments to low and middle income families, a landmark study on childcare has found. 

Common skin irritations in newborns (and how to treat them)

As many as one in two newborn babies suffer from skin irritations in their first few weeks. So what are the most common rashes and irritations to look out for?

10 wall decals for the nursery or playroom

Wall decals are the answer to creating a beautiful nursery or children's space without lifting a paint brush, a spirit level or even a hammer.

Preschooler walks 2.4km home alone

Three-year-old Cain Trainor headed off home after his first day at a new preschool without telling anyone.

Video: Why mums get nothing done

In spite of being in an almost constant state of motion while looking after the kids and trying to keep things together at home, it can seem as though parents have managed to get nothing on the to-do list done by the end of the day.

The middle name game

The middle name is no longer an afterthought, and parents' inspiration comes from many places.

Have a baby or your money back - but there's a catch

A new IVF scheme offers couples the chance to fall pregnant and give birth - or get their money back. But there's more to it than you might think.

A rare glimpse inside the womb

A baby born still inside the amniotic sac gave US doctors a rare glimpse at life inside the womb.

Battered mum forced to write to her attacker ex in jail

Three years ago Jason Hughes viciously attacked his ex-partner. Now she has to write to him three times a year.

Woman pleads not guilty to ultrasound scam

A West Australian woman will fight allegations that she scammed expectant mums by selling them fake ultrasound pictures of babies.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Brain damaged mum receives compensation

A Sydney mother who suffered brain damage when she was hit by a car while pushing her newborn baby in a pram has reached a confidential out-of-court settlement with the driver's insurance company.

Indigenous midwives break down the barriers

A culturally sensitive midwifery service has gained the trust and respect of Aboriginal women.

The Katering Show's next big delivery

Most mums-to-be plan to take things easy and perhaps have a little break from work as the birth of their baby draws near. Not Kate McCartney.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

Why I have mixed feelings about Cindy Crawford's leaked photo

Last week an un-retouched photo of model Cindy Crawford surfaced, showing the 48-year-old mother-of -two posing in underwear.

How to create a Peppa Pig pancake

Thought your toddler could not love pancakes any more than they already do? How about if the breakfast treat came in the shape of every two-year-old's favourite cartoon character?

'It's a little life, not a little loss': pregnancy after miscarriage

I thought I was never going to be able to have a successful pregnancy. I decided that I wasn't going to form an emotional attachment with this baby.

Bonds Baby Search 2015: what you need to know

February 18 marks the start of one of the most prolific annual baby competitions in Australia: the Bonds Baby Search. And this year is going to be more special than ever.

Who will manage your Facebook account when you're gone?

This is not something that people like to talk about, but Facebook has announced that it will grant users more control over what happens to their pages after they die.

Struggling mum of four wins $188 million

Mother of four Marie Holmes was financially struggling after quitting her jobs at Walmart and McDonald's in order to care for her children.

Pregnant obese women a 'relatively new problem', coroner hears

A first-time mother whose daughter died hours after her frightening birth insists she was never told of the risks of being obese and pregnant.

'I'm angry as hell': the story behind mum's passionate vaccination plea

She has labelled parents who do not vaccinate their children "misinformed imbeciles" - and for that, she makes no apologies.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

8 different kinds of tantrums

I never thought I’d say this, but for a brief moment last week, Kim Kardashian and I had something in common: both our kids had public tantrums.

Polycystic ovary syndrome: symptoms, treatment and your fertility

Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is the most common female hormonal condition, affecting roughly one in 12 Australian women.

What's the best position for giving birth?

If doing it on your back is out, what's the best position for labour and birth?

Wife forgives snake catcher husband for car surprise

With Valentine's Day coming up, Nat Gilbert could be forgiven for thinking her husband might be planning a surprise for her.

Kids who meet milestones at their own pace

We usually only hear the success stories: tales of the two-year-old who’s talking, running and completely toilet trained. But other stories need to be told too.

Ruby shines as Bonds Baby

Sarah Kiss has a word of advice for proud mums and dads who are keen to enter their babies in this year's Bonds Baby Search Competition - just have fun.

Why dads should go to sleep school

If your family needs to go to sleep school, go with them. You are part of that family and you are part of the solution.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Win a KitchenAid Mixer

Let's celebrate 300,000 fans on Facebook

To celebrate, and to thank our amazing fans, we?re giving away a KitchenAid Artisan Tilt-Head Stand Mixer.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.