Jump to content

One year on
Warning suicide mentioned


  • Please log in to reply
17 replies to this topic

#1 Lyn86

Posted 31 December 2012 - 08:49 PM

It's funny thinking back to this time last year. My new house had just been completed, and my husband, mum, dad and myself had spent 4long hot days painting it. My sweet girl was just under one month old.
I got a long message from my cousin on our drive home, but as we kept dropping in and out of service I didn't reply and thought I'd leave it til I was home. Of course the baby played up, I was exhausted and never did. I unfortunately never had the chance.
My cousin decided that the thought of a new year with his depression was to much and sadly took his life. The next 4 days were he'll as we waited in limbo land until we were told there was nothing they could do. How has it been a year?
Still so many unanswered questions and so many legal issues to sort (unfortunately). Hoping this new year brings some closure for us all.
Some positives have resulted from this tragedy- bringing my close extended family closer, taking value in every day, a greater understanding of mental health, a fantastic lifeline lunch which we raised over $15,000 for lifeline and the constant reminder to love my baby girl unconditionally and tell her everyday.
Please stay safe this New Years and if you are concerned about yourself or someone else please talk to some one or call lifeline/beyond blue. You are not alone x

#2 R2B2

Posted 31 December 2012 - 08:51 PM

Couldn't read and not reply.

Big hugs to you and your family.

great reminder to go and give the kids an extra big hug and say I love you.

#3 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 31 December 2012 - 08:52 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss. sad.gif so sad. Well done on your efforts to raise money.

This year has flown by so quickly. It is quite scary.

I wish you all the best in the new year original.gif

#4 Therese

Posted 31 December 2012 - 08:56 PM

I'm sorry for your loss.  Thanks for the reminder to tell those we love that we do love them.

#5 suziej

Posted 31 December 2012 - 09:07 PM

Like - to the post.

I am so sorry about your loss, but thankful that your family has gained mutual strength and support in the aftermath - and congratulations on the awesome fundraising.

#6 jayskette

Posted 31 December 2012 - 09:12 PM

One year ago, 2 of DH's best friends (one of them a mutual friend) were still alive. One year on DH is still grieving for their loss and is plunging into deep dark depression himself.

Commiserations to us.


#7 *melrose*

Posted 31 December 2012 - 11:44 PM

thinking of you op.

#8 Lees75

Posted 31 December 2012 - 11:58 PM

Sorry for your loss, Lyn86:(

Similar story in our family- it is 2 years today since my aunty took her life. This time of year is so bitter-sweet for my mum and her other sister.
My Thoughts are with your family.

Edited by Lees75, 01 January 2013 - 12:07 AM.


#9 B.3

Posted 01 January 2013 - 12:14 AM

Thinking of you OP and everyone who lost anyone in 2012.  sad.gif

#10 songshirah

Posted 01 January 2013 - 12:31 AM

It's so hard to talk about.  I'm wondering whether in a year whether it'll be me posting something like this as my dear partner struggles with PTSD coupled with severe depression and anxiety.  Every day I wonder whether today will just be too much for her as she sinks further into herself and believes that we'll all just be better off without her.  She's been an inpatient, and is on a cocktail of medication, is under the care of a good psych and sees a psychologist.  But of course, they're on leave until the 10th of Jan or so.

I just feel so helpless.  I just want my beautiful partner back with the sparkle in her eyes.  And then I worry she'll never come back.  I worry I'll say the wrong thing at the wrong time, so I end up saying little at all.  sad.gif

Is there anywhere or anyone that can help me?  I feel so selfish even asking as it's her that's going through hell.  

Ah, I don't even know what I'm asking really.  

OP, I'm sorry you lost your cousin.  And to all the PP'ers who've lost those near and dear - I'm sorry for your losses too.  Depression sucks.  It's not fair and it's a thief for taking those who never deserved to feel the way they did when they took their lives.

#11 ChickenortheEgg?

Posted 01 January 2013 - 01:06 AM

QUOTE (songshirah @ 01/01/2013, 01:31 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It's so hard to talk about.  I'm wondering whether in a year whether it'll be me posting something like this as my dear partner struggles with PTSD coupled with severe depression and anxiety.  Every day I wonder whether today will just be too much for her as she sinks further into herself and believes that we'll all just be better off without her.  She's been an inpatient, and is on a cocktail of medication, is under the care of a good psych and sees a psychologist.  But of course, they're on leave until the 10th of Jan or so.

I just feel so helpless.  I just want my beautiful partner back with the sparkle in her eyes.  And then I worry she'll never come back.  I worry I'll say the wrong thing at the wrong time, so I end up saying little at all.  sad.gif

Is there anywhere or anyone that can help me?  I feel so selfish even asking as it's her that's going through hell.  

Ah, I don't even know what I'm asking really.  

OP, I'm sorry you lost your cousin.  And to all the PP'ers who've lost those near and dear - I'm sorry for your losses too.  Depression sucks.  It's not fair and it's a thief for taking those who never deserved to feel the way they did when they took their lives.



Similar situation with my DH, I call lifeline and BB for 'encouragement'.

#12 Lyn86

Posted 02 January 2013 - 11:01 PM

Thank you everyone for your replies, sorry its taken so long to respond-have been keeping to myself for a few days.

Those concerned about others-please call one of the helplines for advice. Please.

Hope you all had an uneventful New Years.

#13 soontobegran

Posted 02 January 2013 - 11:04 PM

Hope you are doing OK Lyn86

#14 katieface84

Posted 02 January 2013 - 11:12 PM

It has been a year since my little brother had his last unsuccessful attempt at taking his life. He succeeded 3 weeks later.

I miss him so much. I think I am more depressed now then the few weeks after we lost him and it was all surreal.

My husband says I've changed. I'm so angry all the time now and I can't stop myself. My two beautiful children keep me going.

Love to all those who have lost somebody and strength to those who are finding life too hard. Please seek help. Suicide is a permanent solution to what is hopefully a temporary problem.

#15 Lyn86

Posted 02 January 2013 - 11:20 PM

Thanks soon to be gran.
Katieface-I remember reading about your brothers suicide as it was so close to my cousins. Have you gone to counselling? We were offered some through the hospital and lifeline?

I wish you strength as you come up to the one year mark-they say the first is the hardest but I don't see it easing anytime soon.

#16 katieface84

Posted 02 January 2013 - 11:26 PM

No counselling yet. I keep planning to go but I don't. I suffer with depression and my Dr has written me a mental health plan and referred me to someone but I don't know ...

I guess I feel like what will it achieve? it won't bring him back or fill the hole in our family. Hope you are doing ok too x

#17 Lyn86

Posted 02 January 2013 - 11:32 PM

I was the same and we did one family session which really helped and I did another two then stopped. We are having a lot of legal issues with his partner which isn't helping us to move on (wont release his ashes, give us copies of old family photos, money issues.)

Still something I can't quite get my head around but it just takes time I guess.

#18 Fire_fly

Posted 02 January 2013 - 11:38 PM

Katieface84 please get help. While it won't fill the hole it will give you ways to cope and the skills to help you with your depression.

I lost my father to suicide 2 years ago on New Years Eve. The anger and hurt is still there but counselling has helped me in ways I never thought possible.

Lyn86 I am sorry for your loss it's a hard time of the year for so many people and I am glad that your family has pulled togeather in a time of such loss.

If its the one thing I have learnt the hard way. Always let family and friends know how much they mean to you.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Life with anxiety

At times, I feel pretty worthless. In those moments, all I want to do is curl up into a ball and hide in the dark. I can try to quiet my mind, but it won?t shut up.

IVF leaves woman pregnant with another couple's twins

An Italian woman has been told the twins she is three months pregnant with are not hers.

'My mother-in-law found out our baby's gender behind our backs'

My husband and I mutually decided that we didn?t want to know our baby's sex before the birth, but his mother couldn't handle that.

What you need for the 'fourth trimester'

In my opinion, the first three months after the birth are the most intense. Here's what got me through that time after welcoming my baby.

Weaning a toddler off a dummy: a 15-day plan

Weaning your child off the dummy can be a traumatic experience for both of you. Here are some tips to help you through.

Choosing to be a solo parent

Two women share their stories of longing for a baby so much that they each decided not to wait for a partner before becoming a mum.

Asphyxia link another piece of the SIDS puzzle

An Australian study has uncovered information which could lead to a better understanding of why babies die from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Rescue dog Zoey and BFF Jasper star in adorable pics

Photographer, self-professed "crazy dog lady" and mum Grace Chon takes photos of rescue dog Zoey and her 10-month-old son Jasper together. The results are just too cute. See more on Instagram @thegracechon.

The ultimate travel stroller: the Mountain Buggy nano

We tried the Mountain Buggy nano and give it an enthusiastic thumbs up. As the ultimate travel stroller, it's practical, has great features, and looks fab, too.

Mum's heartbreak as son dies in road accident

Daly Thomas and her two young sons were walking home from church on Tuesday afternoon. Her youngest son never made it.

New Kate Spade baby bag designs

Don?t adjust your screen: this bright beauty is coming to you in full colour.

Easter gifts for babies, no chocolate in sight!

If this is your little one?s first Easter you might want to mark the occasion with something a little extra special. Here are 10 Easter gift ideas, which won't harm little teeth.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win the brand new phil&teds vibe

Check out the good looking new release of the Vibe 3 and the Verve 4-wheeler inline strollers. To celebrate their release, we have a Vibe with double kit to give away.

Baby sleep

From birth to one year and beyond, read about baby sleep, soothing techniques, routines, and sleep school experiences.

Easter gifts for babies, no chocolate in sight!

If this is your little one?s first Easter you might want to mark the occasion with something a little extra special. Here are 10 Easter gift ideas, which won't harm little teeth.

7 tips for a kid-free trip, not a guilt trip

Although I?m jumping out of my skin to take my child-free holiday, I?m dreading the goodbye. But I?m determined to make the most of it without tarnishing it with guilt or sadness about leaving the kids.

Itchibubs: clothes for babies and toddlers with eczema

Parents of children who suffer from eczema will know only too well the scratching that occurs around the clock. A new clothing range aims to help make everyone more comfortable.

Ear piercing: what age is best?

What is it that shapes our opinions on what?s an 'appropriate' age for our children to get their ears pierced? Parents share their views on how young is too young when it comes to piercing.

Caring for kids helps grandmothers stay mentally alert

Looking after grandchildren can help grandmothers ward off brain disease - but it's also possible to get too much of a good thing, researchers say.

Why I loved my third home water birth

After two water births at home, I was determined to give birth to my son the same way. I just hoped this birth would be quicker than my last two.

Revealed: 7 ways food marketers try to trick consumers

If you?re confused by food labels, you?re not alone. Next time you?re shopping for food, look out for these seven common labelling tricks.

'My mother-in-law found out our baby's gender behind our backs'

My husband and I mutually decided that we didn?t want to know our baby's sex before the birth, but his mother couldn't handle that.

 

Free Printable Activities

Keeping little hands busy

Free printable acitivity pages like colouring in, cutting, word finders, mazes, maths activities and puzzles.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.