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Cloth nappies for baby shower
When there is no plan to use cloth

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#1 Guest_AllegraM_*

Posted 31 December 2012 - 01:33 PM

I was chatting to a friend who uses cloth nappies fulltime. So do I. We both love cloth. She said she had bought a starter kit (12 MCNs) for a friend's baby shower and was quite delighted with herself for thinking of such a great gift. I asked if her friend was planning to use cloth and she said something like "well she will have to now. That kit cost me a lot. Once she starts, she will see how great it is".

I adore cloth and will rave about the benefits to anyone who asks. However, if they don't ask, I don't say anything. Buying cloth nappies for a new mum who has not expressed interest in cloth just seems
presumptuous to me. Added to that I thought my friend was showing a bit of a smug attitude about it.

So is this a thoughtful gift or rude?

#2 ubermum

Posted 31 December 2012 - 01:35 PM

It's not something I would ever do. It's expensive and a waste of money for someone that doesn't want them.

#3 PatG

Posted 31 December 2012 - 01:36 PM

Wow, 12 MCNs is quite an outlay for a gift of something that may not be used.  If I was your friend I would probably have offered to loan some to the mum-to-be with the offer to buy her some later on if she liked them.

I think it puts the receiver in a bit of a tight spot and is therefore a little rude.

#4 Camizebra

Posted 31 December 2012 - 01:37 PM

QUOTE (ubermum @ 31/12/2012, 02:05 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It's not something I would ever do. It's expensive and a waste of money for someone that doesn't want them.


#5 Marchioness Flea

Posted 31 December 2012 - 01:41 PM

I have bought cloth nappies for a shower, but only 2 and only because the mother expressed an interest in them and I got them pretty cheaply. Buying 12 is rude and overbearing and I'd hate to see that woman once she becomes a MiL if she's this presumptuous for friends!

#6 little lion

Posted 31 December 2012 - 01:41 PM

Oops double post, see below.

Edited by little lion, 31 December 2012 - 01:43 PM.

#7 little lion

Posted 31 December 2012 - 01:42 PM

If I received them, I would probably sell them!

We make our parenting decisions based on lots of info. Someone trying to impose their ideas on me via a gift wouldn't change my opinions.


Posted 31 December 2012 - 01:43 PM

If I was the mother receiving them I would just be passing them along to someone who uses cloth, or throwing them in the charity bin. I wouldn't feel the need to use them because a friend bought them and thinks I should huh.gif

#9 Cyaira

Posted 31 December 2012 - 01:45 PM

I don't think there is any harm in a trial pack (2-3 nappies) or a gift voucher for an online store to somebody who has expressed an interest or desire to use cloth.

But otherwise, no. Cloth is not for everybody and it's presumptuous. Besides which, she might find the brand and/or style doesn't suit her and her bub.

#10 ellebelle

Posted 31 December 2012 - 01:47 PM

Agree with others - on the upside it's a gift that will Ebay well!

#11 noi'mnot

Posted 31 December 2012 - 01:52 PM

Wow, what an expensive gift! Even on sale, MCNs are not cheap so I am pretty shocked. I use cloth most of the time, but would never buy them for somebody else if they're not absolutely wanting them, what a waste of money!

I don't think it's rude, though, so much as it's just silly!

#12 Praetor VitaeChel

Posted 31 December 2012 - 01:52 PM

Wow that is quite a huge gift. A close friend bought me 12 MCN's as a baby gift, but she new I intended on using them and asked what brand I wanted. I was beyond grateful. I know many mums would be quite annoyed that someone was making them feel bad for using disposables tho. She sounds a bit preachy about it which is never a good way to behave with a new mum.

#13 ComradeBob

Posted 31 December 2012 - 01:54 PM

I think that's rude and presumptious too. I was never interested in using cloth nappies, although if I'd had a friend who did I would have shown interest, and tried them. But a dozen nappies when the recipient has shown no interest in them whatsoever is a gift that says more about the attitude of the giver than the  pleasure of the receiver.

#14 vintage.blue

Posted 31 December 2012 - 01:54 PM

I use and love cloth nappies but I wouldn't buy them for a friend unless they had shown an interest. A lot of people don't like or use cloth so the gift is wasted if the friend doesn't want to use them.

#15 Aruneh

Posted 31 December 2012 - 01:54 PM

It is rude. I have tried cloth nappies and I find them a huge pain.
They are really not as easy as people want you to believe. I don't know why you'd give them to someone who has showed no interest in them. I would ebay such a gift original.gif

Edited by Aruneh, 31 December 2012 - 01:55 PM.

#16 Riotproof

Posted 31 December 2012 - 01:57 PM

I wouldn't do it, and yes I think it is rude. Different if she ever mentioned an interest, but 12 is still overkill.

#17 Feral timtam

Posted 31 December 2012 - 01:57 PM

I think it's a foolish thing to do. Some people will not use cloth because they hate doing laundry with a passion.

One person I know will take any handout she can get but refused my offer to buy her a full time stash of cloth nappies. All because she hates doing laundry. That was three years ago when she only had one in nappies. She now has four children in nappies and is spending over $100 a week on nappy products.
I now refuse to listen when she complains about being broke.

#18 podg

Posted 31 December 2012 - 02:02 PM

I think offering to come three times a week for more than a few weeks and wash/dry/fold should be included in the gift.

I would have loved a starter pack of this kind with DD1 or 2. Nowadays not so much (on baby 4 in 5 years).

#19 Tigerdog

Posted 31 December 2012 - 02:05 PM

A possible waste of money, if nothing else.  I wouldn't presume someone's choice and I definitely wouldn't lay out a large sum of cash on such a gamble.

#20 Jane Jetson

Posted 31 December 2012 - 02:17 PM

Ugh, nothing worse than someone who insists you do things their way. Your friend is being presumptuous and silly.

#21 ekbaby

Posted 31 December 2012 - 02:25 PM

I don't know about rude, so much as a waste of money.

I've given *ONE* cloth nappy at a baby shower to a mum who was interested in using cloth (we had discussed it recently, it was even the brand she had mentioned seeing)

Since having my own kids I've offered to loan a selection of our cloth nappies to friends with newborns, so they can "try before they buy" (only if they are interested). A lot of babies grow out of the small/newborn sized ones pretty quick anyway, so I'm happy for them to be passed around and used for as long as they want.

I would love to recieve MCN's as a baby shower gift original.gif, and have a couple of cloth-using friends who I know would feel the same, but unless the person is planning to use or already uses cloth it's unlikely to be appreciated.

#22 Soontobegran

Posted 31 December 2012 - 02:31 PM

She has more money than sense. She must be outlaying in the very least $200 to try and push her agenda.

I'd have loved them, many others wouldn't.

#23 Romeo Void

Posted 31 December 2012 - 02:37 PM

Are you sure she doesn't mean a 12 pack of terry flats?  Cause THOSE I would find handy!

#24 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 31 December 2012 - 02:37 PM

It's very presumptious but I don't think it's a big deal. It's a gift, the receiver can give them away or sell them if she doesn't want them.

Lots of people buy crap, unnecessary presents, so I don't think there is anything wrong with the gift, just the gift giver's attitude.

ETA if the receiver has specifically stated that she will not be using cloth then I think the gift selection was pretty passive aggressive but if the receiver hasn't mentioned whether or not she's going to use them then I don't see the harm.

Edited by Sunnycat, 31 December 2012 - 02:40 PM.

#25 Alacritous~Andy

Posted 31 December 2012 - 02:39 PM

QUOTE (Romeo Void @ 31/12/2012, 02:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Are you sure she doesn't mean a 12 pack of terry flats?  Cause THOSE I would find handy!

I agree. I think terry flats are a great gift. MCNs, not so much.

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