Going against Kinder/Pre school
Re Starting school
, Dec 30 2012 04:05 PM
12 replies to this topic
Posted 30 December 2012 - 04:05 PM
Another curiosity re starting children at FYO school.
Has anyone gone against a Kindergarten (VIC) Preschool (NSW)...not sure re other states...recomendation for a child to repeat Kindergarten and sent them school the next year when repeating was suggested. Especially re those children not yet 5 when they start school?
And if you did why, and have you regretted the decision or happy you made it?
Posted 30 December 2012 - 04:13 PM
I can't speak from personal experience, but I can share the experience a dear friend (late April baby).
The preschool teachers were very opposed to her son starting school at age 4+9 and strongly suggested that the parents hold him back. As the preschool was affiliated with the junior school she had selected, my friend felt very pressured to comply with their recommendations -- but she felt that would be the wrong choice for her son.
She ended up having her son assessed by a very reputable educational psychologist to give her both the "independent backing" and the confidence in her personal decision to go against the school's recommendation.
Her son is still the youngest child in his grade, but he is settling in pretty well.
Good luck with your decision.
Posted 30 December 2012 - 04:22 PM
A friend of mine was recommended to repeat 4 yr old kinder with her daughter. Sent her to school. Recommended repeat prep, moved up to grade 1. Her child ended up repeating grade 2 as each year it grew more obvious that she was behind where she should have been. It was very hard on the child at 7 to lose all her friends and have to start again
Posted 30 December 2012 - 04:26 PM
One friend sent her DS to school here in NSW at 4.5yo. The principal actually called her (having never met the child) and tried to guilt her into holding him back another year.
She sent him to school. He did brilliantly and is still ahead of his peers although he is younger.
Posted 30 December 2012 - 04:27 PM
A kinder teacher recommended my dd not to start school, but that she needed another year at kinder. She noticed a lot of differences in my child that I either didn't agree with or was unwilling to admit to.
I ignored the recommendation, her speechie thought it could go either way, and an educational psych thought she had enough school readiness that she supported my decision.
This year I came to the conclusion that the kinder teacher was correct in her opinion. Dd has cognitive issues - she is borderline intellectually impaired, but with an unusual presentation. It means she really struggles, and in hindsight I think she would have benefited from being that bit older in her fyos.
With ds I'll listen.
Posted 30 December 2012 - 04:33 PM
I went against my preschool's (4yo) recommendation to repeat DD. She would not turn 5 until late March and they believed she was not ready both socially and in certain motor skills. She underwent a professional assessment which found no issues at all with her motor skills, which is what I expected.
Essentially the preschool thought she couldn't do things because she was uncomfortable at preschool, unsure of what she was supposed to be doing, and terrified of the assistant teacher (who was in fact a very scary and unpleasant woman).
I agonised over the decision but in the end I did not repeat her. What I knew about her that preschool didn't was that she is just like me and was not going to gain passable social skills for many years. And they also couldn't fathom that she wasn't meeting their motor skills criteria because she was afraid of failure and scared of the assistant.
So off to school she went. It was a bit rocky at first, as I would expect for any anxious child. But she did just fine. And I firmly believe that she would have gained nothing at all from repeating. She was more than ready academically and the social aspects would only come with years of experience.
In short, the preschool can recommend based on what they see but they don't know your child the way you do. You should take their comments on board and use what you know to make the best decision.
I have never once regretted the decision to forgo the extra preschool year.
ETA: DD is going into year 9 this year, has loads of friends and is academically near the top of the year group.
Edited by BadCat, 30 December 2012 - 04:36 PM.
Posted 30 December 2012 - 04:53 PM
Im starting ds2 next year. He turns 5 late may. so will be very young for his year.
His daycare carers though i should wait an extra year. I had an interdependent assessment done and she told me she cant understand why ds2 couldn't go next year as he was ready in her opinion.
Only time will tell!
Posted 30 December 2012 - 05:00 PM
I am sending DS2 to school next year despite both Kingergarten and Preschool Field officer recommending he repeats. He is an August birthday so will be 5.5 yrs starting school rather then their suggested 6.5 yrs to start school.
He had speech and language issues which were from hearing loss in his early years. His social skills and confidence were affected. He came along in leaps and bounds over the pat 6m in his language. Testing in Feb put him outside average, but Nov testing put him well within average on expressive (talking) skills and high above average for receptive (understanding). Comments are always " he is very smart" due to the coping skills he did have to cover his previous deficits.
So although Kinder suggested repeat, his speech pathologist ( plus the school) believe he is more then ready to start.
Kinder say that if he repeated he would be the " leader" by virtue of his age, but tbh it is not in his personality type. I believe (as does his speechie and prep teacher for next year) that he will find the routine of school and the working in small groups at school more beneficial in making friends rather then the free play of kinder.
So I will report next year how we go.
Posted 30 December 2012 - 05:01 PM
Eta DS2 did a prep readiness course and the prep teachers who take that class also say he is more then ready for school.
Posted 30 December 2012 - 05:05 PM
Thanks for the replies thus far.
This question in particular relates to my son, 5 in April in 2013.
I agonised re the decision to send him next year or not. He even did primary school transition for 2 sessions then I decided to keep in kinder.
All I got from his kinder teacher re holding back is he asks to many questions when he should be listening?? More or less. And doesn't like to do a wide variety of tasks...well his older brother was worse and he was a yr older in Kinder due to when his b'day fell.
I think half my DS2's problems is he is bored and spoilt as he is quite a bit younger than his siblings (7 & 9yrs) and my Mum minds him a lot when I work where as she didnt when the other two were little as she was still wiorking FT.
I think it is just an age thing I am basing it on, as is his kinder teacher.
My older two went when they did as they had no choice due to when their b'days fell, but with DS2 I have a choice, and leant the other way due to the 'norm' to send 5 starting 6 nowadays not the other way around. It is like it is a must do and if you don't you are failing them pretty much...well that is the way I feel anyway.
ETA His brother went to school 5 turning 6 in the May, and I'd say DS2 at 4.8 now is above where he was then re school readiness and that is with DS1 having done so a early literacy programme 3hrs a week, daycare, and Gymbaroo and other things DS2 has never had the oportunity to do. Has known things DS1 never new yrs earlier. DD however beats them both, if she was able to be younger started I would have sent her in a heartbeat but due to birth date could not.
Edited by newphase, 30 December 2012 - 05:09 PM.
Posted 30 December 2012 - 05:10 PM
Yes. Preschool advised we hold ds back. Their reasons were not good enough for me. They related to his personality which I didn't think would change irrespective of which year he went. Ie he was never going to be leader. Age was also irrelevant, he was within the age for nsw. I wasn't going to be dictated by what every one else was doing.
Good luck with your decision. Until two weeks ago dd was going next year (5 in April) and I'm sure I bored everyone with my incessant stressing about it. If it wasn't for the way she deals with her medical condition she would still be going ( non reading and writing and against preschool).
Eta I understand the guilt others make you feel, ive experienced it with both kids,but you know your child best. It's amazing the number of people who now tell me I've made the right decision not sending dd next year....
Edited by Kemismum, 30 December 2012 - 05:14 PM.
Posted 30 December 2012 - 05:17 PM
Dd has a feb 4 birthday. I had intended on sending her to fyos when she turned 5. Preschool suggested that she would benefit from another year of preschool and send her the year she turned 6. The only problem was that she could not repeat the year at the same preschool (Preschool was dept of ed nsw attached to the local school) This was in late August that they told me. I couldn't find a suitable preschool for her locally so I sent her to fyos.
Academically she is going well but emotionally she is quite behind her peers. I wanted to repeat her but the school didn't agree. She is going into year 2 next year.
She is my third child and my youngest. I wish I had tried harder to find her a another preschool as I should have listened. Oh well, we'll see how she goes this year.
Posted 30 December 2012 - 05:29 PM
Yep. Preschool that DD#1 went to thought she should stay there another year and delay going to school. Their reasons were because she was too shy and didn't speak much. They felt she would struggle emotionally. She was an end of June baby.
We took their advice onboard but also spoke to the teachers and principal involved in the Kindergarten Orientation. We told them of our concerns the first day which then gave them 4 days to assess her during the orientation days. They felt she was fine so we sent her. Sure, she was still shy and took some coaching to speak in front of the class etc but she was fine. She will be going into Year 9 next year and is doing well.
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