Going against Kinder/Pre school
Re Starting school
, Dec 30 2012 04:05 PM
12 replies to this topic
Posted 30 December 2012 - 04:05 PM
Another curiosity re starting children at FYO school.
Has anyone gone against a Kindergarten (VIC) Preschool (NSW)...not sure re other states...recomendation for a child to repeat Kindergarten and sent them school the next year when repeating was suggested. Especially re those children not yet 5 when they start school?
And if you did why, and have you regretted the decision or happy you made it?
Posted 30 December 2012 - 04:13 PM
I can't speak from personal experience, but I can share the experience a dear friend (late April baby).
The preschool teachers were very opposed to her son starting school at age 4+9 and strongly suggested that the parents hold him back. As the preschool was affiliated with the junior school she had selected, my friend felt very pressured to comply with their recommendations -- but she felt that would be the wrong choice for her son.
She ended up having her son assessed by a very reputable educational psychologist to give her both the "independent backing" and the confidence in her personal decision to go against the school's recommendation.
Her son is still the youngest child in his grade, but he is settling in pretty well.
Good luck with your decision.
Posted 30 December 2012 - 04:22 PM
A friend of mine was recommended to repeat 4 yr old kinder with her daughter. Sent her to school. Recommended repeat prep, moved up to grade 1. Her child ended up repeating grade 2 as each year it grew more obvious that she was behind where she should have been. It was very hard on the child at 7 to lose all her friends and have to start again
Posted 30 December 2012 - 04:26 PM
One friend sent her DS to school here in NSW at 4.5yo. The principal actually called her (having never met the child) and tried to guilt her into holding him back another year.
She sent him to school. He did brilliantly and is still ahead of his peers although he is younger.
Posted 30 December 2012 - 04:27 PM
A kinder teacher recommended my dd not to start school, but that she needed another year at kinder. She noticed a lot of differences in my child that I either didn't agree with or was unwilling to admit to.
I ignored the recommendation, her speechie thought it could go either way, and an educational psych thought she had enough school readiness that she supported my decision.
This year I came to the conclusion that the kinder teacher was correct in her opinion. Dd has cognitive issues - she is borderline intellectually impaired, but with an unusual presentation. It means she really struggles, and in hindsight I think she would have benefited from being that bit older in her fyos.
With ds I'll listen.
Posted 30 December 2012 - 04:33 PM
I went against my preschool's (4yo) recommendation to repeat DD. She would not turn 5 until late March and they believed she was not ready both socially and in certain motor skills. She underwent a professional assessment which found no issues at all with her motor skills, which is what I expected.
Essentially the preschool thought she couldn't do things because she was uncomfortable at preschool, unsure of what she was supposed to be doing, and terrified of the assistant teacher (who was in fact a very scary and unpleasant woman).
I agonised over the decision but in the end I did not repeat her. What I knew about her that preschool didn't was that she is just like me and was not going to gain passable social skills for many years. And they also couldn't fathom that she wasn't meeting their motor skills criteria because she was afraid of failure and scared of the assistant.
So off to school she went. It was a bit rocky at first, as I would expect for any anxious child. But she did just fine. And I firmly believe that she would have gained nothing at all from repeating. She was more than ready academically and the social aspects would only come with years of experience.
In short, the preschool can recommend based on what they see but they don't know your child the way you do. You should take their comments on board and use what you know to make the best decision.
I have never once regretted the decision to forgo the extra preschool year.
ETA: DD is going into year 9 this year, has loads of friends and is academically near the top of the year group.
Edited by BadCat, 30 December 2012 - 04:36 PM.
Posted 30 December 2012 - 04:53 PM
Im starting ds2 next year. He turns 5 late may. so will be very young for his year.
His daycare carers though i should wait an extra year. I had an interdependent assessment done and she told me she cant understand why ds2 couldn't go next year as he was ready in her opinion.
Only time will tell!
Posted 30 December 2012 - 05:00 PM
I am sending DS2 to school next year despite both Kingergarten and Preschool Field officer recommending he repeats. He is an August birthday so will be 5.5 yrs starting school rather then their suggested 6.5 yrs to start school.
He had speech and language issues which were from hearing loss in his early years. His social skills and confidence were affected. He came along in leaps and bounds over the pat 6m in his language. Testing in Feb put him outside average, but Nov testing put him well within average on expressive (talking) skills and high above average for receptive (understanding). Comments are always " he is very smart" due to the coping skills he did have to cover his previous deficits.
So although Kinder suggested repeat, his speech pathologist ( plus the school) believe he is more then ready to start.
Kinder say that if he repeated he would be the " leader" by virtue of his age, but tbh it is not in his personality type. I believe (as does his speechie and prep teacher for next year) that he will find the routine of school and the working in small groups at school more beneficial in making friends rather then the free play of kinder.
So I will report next year how we go.
Posted 30 December 2012 - 05:01 PM
Eta DS2 did a prep readiness course and the prep teachers who take that class also say he is more then ready for school.
Posted 30 December 2012 - 05:05 PM
Thanks for the replies thus far.
This question in particular relates to my son, 5 in April in 2013.
I agonised re the decision to send him next year or not. He even did primary school transition for 2 sessions then I decided to keep in kinder.
All I got from his kinder teacher re holding back is he asks to many questions when he should be listening?? More or less. And doesn't like to do a wide variety of tasks...well his older brother was worse and he was a yr older in Kinder due to when his b'day fell.
I think half my DS2's problems is he is bored and spoilt as he is quite a bit younger than his siblings (7 & 9yrs) and my Mum minds him a lot when I work where as she didnt when the other two were little as she was still wiorking FT.
I think it is just an age thing I am basing it on, as is his kinder teacher.
My older two went when they did as they had no choice due to when their b'days fell, but with DS2 I have a choice, and leant the other way due to the 'norm' to send 5 starting 6 nowadays not the other way around. It is like it is a must do and if you don't you are failing them pretty much...well that is the way I feel anyway.
ETA His brother went to school 5 turning 6 in the May, and I'd say DS2 at 4.8 now is above where he was then re school readiness and that is with DS1 having done so a early literacy programme 3hrs a week, daycare, and Gymbaroo and other things DS2 has never had the oportunity to do. Has known things DS1 never new yrs earlier. DD however beats them both, if she was able to be younger started I would have sent her in a heartbeat but due to birth date could not.
Edited by newphase, 30 December 2012 - 05:09 PM.
Posted 30 December 2012 - 05:10 PM
Yes. Preschool advised we hold ds back. Their reasons were not good enough for me. They related to his personality which I didn't think would change irrespective of which year he went. Ie he was never going to be leader. Age was also irrelevant, he was within the age for nsw. I wasn't going to be dictated by what every one else was doing.
Good luck with your decision. Until two weeks ago dd was going next year (5 in April) and I'm sure I bored everyone with my incessant stressing about it. If it wasn't for the way she deals with her medical condition she would still be going ( non reading and writing and against preschool).
Eta I understand the guilt others make you feel, ive experienced it with both kids,but you know your child best. It's amazing the number of people who now tell me I've made the right decision not sending dd next year....
Edited by Kemismum, 30 December 2012 - 05:14 PM.
Posted 30 December 2012 - 05:17 PM
Dd has a feb 4 birthday. I had intended on sending her to fyos when she turned 5. Preschool suggested that she would benefit from another year of preschool and send her the year she turned 6. The only problem was that she could not repeat the year at the same preschool (Preschool was dept of ed nsw attached to the local school) This was in late August that they told me. I couldn't find a suitable preschool for her locally so I sent her to fyos.
Academically she is going well but emotionally she is quite behind her peers. I wanted to repeat her but the school didn't agree. She is going into year 2 next year.
She is my third child and my youngest. I wish I had tried harder to find her a another preschool as I should have listened. Oh well, we'll see how she goes this year.
Posted 30 December 2012 - 05:29 PM
Yep. Preschool that DD#1 went to thought she should stay there another year and delay going to school. Their reasons were because she was too shy and didn't speak much. They felt she would struggle emotionally. She was an end of June baby.
We took their advice onboard but also spoke to the teachers and principal involved in the Kindergarten Orientation. We told them of our concerns the first day which then gave them 4 days to assess her during the orientation days. They felt she was fine so we sent her. Sure, she was still shy and took some coaching to speak in front of the class etc but she was fine. She will be going into Year 9 next year and is doing well.
1 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users
Two-year-old Quincy finished his potty training last week, and as part of his reward he was able to meet his idols.
I will never deny the fact that grief has a place when you give birth to a child who brings a set of circumstances very different to what you imagined. Because for nine months, I thought I knew my Georgie.
There was nothing Erica and Carlos wanted more than a baby.
The actor said there was "no other person" he was thinking about when he chose the name.
More than half of women who live with abusive partners experience violence during pregnancy.
A new mother was told she must flee Port Vila hospital with her baby as Cyclone Pam bore down.
There were a few signs I'm never going back to the land of maternity jeans, breast pumps and bassinets.
Australian actress Marta Dusseldorp has revealed she was forced to withdraw from a Sydney Theatre Company production because a director did not approve of her breast feeding.
Looking for a name that's a little bit different for a girl? Turn to names that have been traditionally used for males, as these celebs (or their parents) did.
Greg Hughes is "an absolute shell of a man" as he and his wife Catherine struggle to come to terms with the loss of their newborn son Riley to whooping cough.
Introverts are often misunderstood as shy, and sometimes even rude. A timid child can be difficult to build rapport with, but it's important we nurture their sensitive natures.
Sheryl Sandberg's advice
Forget foreplay. The new and improved route to intercourse is "choreplay" - it's good for your spouse, good for your house, and comes with the imprimatur of feminist du jour Sheryl Sandberg.
The first time your child learns a new skill at playtime is very exciting - for both you and your baby! Play is important to your child's development for a variety of reasons - here are some simple ideas for you to try at home.
For me, being the best mother I can be means being a mum alone, at least for now. Thinking of my friends with inadequate partners, I wonder why more people don’t choose single motherhood.
Weird poses, surprise photobombs, bizarre editing: these are the wedding photos that should have never seen the light of day.
The mother of a four-week-old Perth baby who died after contracting whooping cough says her family has been left devastated by the loss of her "gorgeous, sweet" son.
To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, we are giving away five DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!
Little Peyton Williams thought she was getting a baby sister named Charlee. But the two-year-old has had to settle for a doll dressed in pink after her baby "sister" turned out to be a boy.
We all know that having a strong immune system is the best way to stay healthy – but what can we do to help it along?
A Melbourne mum who died after the home birth of her baby pleaded with her husband to call an ambulance because she felt she was going to die, the Victorian Coroners Court has heard.
Q: My two-month-old baby doesn't like me. He's perfectly content with my wife, but when I try to hold him, he gets upset and cries. I've backed off a little, thinking that he just needs a little time to get used to me, but that doesn't seem to be working. I'm starting to think I'm just not a very good dad. Is it too late for me to build a relationship with my baby?
Wouldn’t it be great to get some nice feedback every now and then? After all, everyone likes to hear positive praise, particularly when it comes to parenting.
The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!
If you're looking to revive an older name, or don’t want anything near the top 1000 list, check out these rare monikers for your unique baby.
It’s great to see a generation of dads who are more actively involved with caring, nurturing and loving their kids.
When there’s no question that milk banks are important, why don’t we have more of them in Australia?
Television personality Carrie Bickmore has given birth to her second child.
Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.
A Norwegian man is facing jail after putting abortion pills in his ex-girlfriend's smoothie, causing her to have a miscarriage.
Jordy Jackson was born without eyes. He has anophthalmia, which affects one in every 100,000 babies born.
With Easter fast approaching, Cadbury are giving away 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers. Enter Now!
Model Sarah Stage has defended her pregnancy body after critics claimed her slim figure at eight-and-a-half months pregnant wasn't "normal".
To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, Essential Baby and Entertainment One are giving away five bumper DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!
I love to take pictures of my children. In some of the pictures, my younger son is nursing.
There are things I wish I didn't know. I wish I didn't know that companies make tiny braces, small enough to hold necks no bigger than a wrist.
When a couple discovers they're expecting multiples, the dad can sometimes be almost forgotten in all the excitement and preparation. But one group offers a space just for dads of twins and higher-order multiples.
A brave mum of two has shared details of the harrowing attacks she suffered at the hands of her partner in a bid to help other victims of domestic violence.
Early last year I turned 35, and having just found out I was pregnant, I opted to have the new test for Down syndrome.
If your family is more into Star Wars, gaming and the periodic table than most, you might want to check out these geek-chic baby items.
According to the Chinese zodiac, babies born in the year of the sheep are creative and enjoy spending quiet time with their own thoughts.
Pregnant women will for the first time have access to locally analysed, accurate, non-invasive pre-natal genetic testing when the first Australian clinic to offer the services opens its doors next week.
Not a day under 65 and a lifetime of struggle! That's the look of these newborns, who look adorably older than their real age. Social networking site Reddit recently featured user submissions of adorable grandbabies, here are our favourites.
An entire family was kicked off a Cathay Pacific flight when a misbehaving toddler refused to put his seatbelt on.
A baby stolen from her mother's arms shortly after birth has been found through an astonishing coincidence.
Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.
Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.
A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.
Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.
Sign up now!
Receive a daily email from Essential Baby during April with great play tips and ideas, then submit your baby at play photos to our Playwall, Instagram or Twitter for your chance to win.